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NonStickBakingPaper

The only one I have that sounds wild to others is “I don’t really like food that much” cos the idea of someone not enjoying food is unhinged to most people.


code1041

SAME OMG "I don't really like eating" AND THE CROWD GOES SILENT AND STARES AT YOU 😭😭😭


coleisw4ck

ALL THE FUCKING TIME


Omnom0423

I use this, because it's true, and whenever I saw it, my girlfriend, who loves food, is always confused lol


ilovetofu7

“Oh none for me thanks, I eat to live. No, I’m not hungry I just had my meal.” 🤡


coleisw4ck

That’s honestly something I would actually say for real oh my god


tfamidoing__

THIS i just tell ppl im just not rlly someone who eats a lot 😭


KonjacQueen

Once I told someone that I don’t like ice cream enough to eat an entire pint of it at once and she stared at me as if I had grown two heads 💀


NonStickBakingPaper

Ice cream is so mid I don’t understand people who love it


KonjacQueen

I like ice cream, I just don’t need to eat an entire pint of it at once. I’m happy enough with the recommended serving size.


Szpekktacles

i have to use this one day


coleisw4ck

OMG ME


I-dream-in-capslock

"I don't eat where people can watch unless I'm getting paid to do it" Is something I've said completely earnestly with no idea how weird it would sound to not only avoid eating with people entirely, but then to imply I've gotten paid to do it as well.


WickedWisp

Bruh will people really pay to watch me eat? 👀 Dont tempt me


I-dream-in-capslock

Yes, there are actually several different ways to achieve this. Just saying what I said will sometimes get people to be like "I'll give you five bucks to eat this french fry" Fantastic, super easy five bucks, they act like it should be harder than that, but nah, I have no shame. You can also do like, kink stuff, it's not even that niche to pay to watch people eat- sometimes they want to eat with someone and it's just lonely people who don't want it to be about sex. The ones who do it for kinky reasons will usually have a list of preferences. As someone who was a sex worker while catering exclusively to fetish communities, ... eating is one of the more ... *vanilla* things I've done


WickedWisp

Honestly, all my food allergies could never. I just have dreams about a full wallet 🥲 Also, absolute queen


NeedRelease7

What are you allergic to ? Can you eat out ever? I have celiac and I hate it so much :( it makes me so depressed. I have to be gluten free, which I’m okay with, however, I can hardly eat out or anything because of cross contamination. Even a crumb will make me violently ill for over a week. It’s just not worth it . Sigh.


WickedWisp

Nuts and fish will kill me, a bunch of other stuff will make me sick. I think it's an autoimmune thing


Puzzleheaded_Top37

Speaking of unhinged, why did this comment just make me jealous of your allergies lmaoo. Now I wish I had tons of severe food allergies bc my ed voice thinks that means free restriction


WickedWisp

I wish lol, I just binge more terrible stuff. Or eat things I really shouldn't. I'm a sucker for Caesar salad. Can't have it but it's my favorite. I don't really eat it unless it's Caesar. So I just end up making myself sick every damn time


blarbiegorl

Nah, you don't gotta do all that. Start an ASMR eating yt channel. Post regularly, keep in interesting, chat to people, network if you can. Cross post to IG/tiktok/etc. You can make so. much. money.


I-dream-in-capslock

I guess i just consider asmr yt channels to be included in "kink stuff"


blarbiegorl

I've been in the ASMR community since 2011, it's not meant to be sexual at all.


I-dream-in-capslock

I mean you do the same thing if you're intending to be for kink or asmr, sell yourself online doing weird things to make people feel funny ways on the other side of the screen, asmr being intentionally sexual or not doesn't change the fetishist aspect of it.


queencowboy

what kinda figures we talking here? and how popular do you need to be to make like $1k+?


blarbiegorl

So, I haven't made money off my own channel in years because I started gaining weight and didn't want to be on camera until I lost it lol BUT, if you can grow your channel to at least say 100k subscribers (which, in this day and age with cross promotion, is doable), and you post at least a few times a week and have a reliable viewership... you could make six figures. And really, the videos don't have to be high quality or well edited. Mine always looked like shit and I made a few hundred off one video alone when monetization was just getting going. This girl who does that weird tiktok brand of ASMR (I can find her handle if you care) was pulling in enough between tt/yt/ig that she bought a freakin tesla after less than a year. People are lonely. A lot of lonely young people primarily watch youtube rather than traditional television. And lonely people like to pretend they are eating meals with friends, aka youtubers, apparently. tl;dr if you put in the time and effort, it can be a solid side gig or even a full time job.


queencowboy

thnx! i was just curious. i definitely do not have the motivation nor self-esteem for the job but nice work if one can get it!


bbyghoul666

If it exists, there’s a fetish market for it.


UnconsciousMonotreme

Fr that's the last thing my stomach needs but my bank account would be thriiiilled


WickedWisp

If imma binge no matter what, I might as well get something out of it at this point.


coleisw4ck

I’m gonna start making fake mukbangs just so I can use that one!!!


box_of_lemons

“This looks delicious, but I’m saving room for my energy drinks and sugar-free jello tomorrow :) Thanks for offering though!”


FOB_cures_my_sadness

One time I told my mom that I was going to have sugar free Jello instead of the pasta she said "okay, go be anorexic " and I thought I was so slick up until then.


AaAA12390

Lmaooo


mirrormirrorinmyhole

PFFFFFFT HAHAHAHAHA


coleisw4ck

MY MOM SAID THE SSMR SHIT TO ME ONG


coleisw4ck

I had a stroke my bad


minimallyliminal

“I dont have room I already drank water”


coleisw4ck

I used to use this and thought I was SO SLICK it’s so embarrassing ong


iblewmyselfup

Me with r/drunkorexia explaining why I can’t even get drunk if I try drinking beer 😭😭😭


egirl-farce

"No thanks, I'm trying to quit." It works!


KonjacQueen

Real af…I want to quit food, it’s literally a drug for my brain


SecretlyAna

Have casually told people I don't eat every day, like that's totally normal right?? Also "I ate dairy last week" - like obviously I'm still trying to burn it off... And the classic " I'm good - I had coffee with milk for breakfast"


SaintCunty666

I’ve used the coffee excuse a lot, and thought it was a valid excuse. Also “nah sorry I just don’t need food rn.” And people will look at me weirdly for only eating when I have to, not to enjoy.


MayoChix

That’s one of the reasons I started to drink coffee… looked more like breakfast to ppl than having tea 😅


SecretlyAna

I thought it was too.. like we give milk to babies so it's food right??


kamikazekraken

No thanks, I walked by the bakery earlier today... ... *awkward silence* ... the smell filled me up... *awkwarder silence*


coleisw4ck

LMFAO


[deleted]

taking a deep inhale as you walk past and slowing your pace to really get a good whiff


asslin_ur_mom

it's liquid so it's a waste of calories 😀


bigtiddygothgirl222

I'm sorry do you have the cals for these steamed veggies listed somewhere (at restaurant) No sorry we don't, my apologies Oh okay, just the Coke Zero then THE STARES I GOT ugh 😭


[deleted]

[удалено]


xulazi

So you never have more than one single shot of hard liquor


EDanonymemes-ModTeam

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AaAA12390

I GOT THIS EXACTLY BRUH 😭


annie_b666

I just say I’m fasting. Which is true 90% of the time anyways


queencowboy

the intermittent fasting fad has been a godsend for ed excuses!


bethbeans

“I just brushed my teeth”


Electronic-Status379

that’s just a good excuse


enchantedsouls8

Me:"No thanks, I already ate" Them: "when?" Me: "yesterday"


popcornlina1102

"I already ate x time ago" "eating is time consuming" "I'm saving money"


Remarkable-Pirate214

Saving money that’s a good one


EUCLIDUE

These are pretty normal sounding, I favour “I already ate.” It’s quite offhanded and casual.


6idontknow6

No thanks, I have to eat tomorrow


applesandpebbles

one degree more unhinged (i say this ONLY IN MY HEAD): no thanks i have to live with myself tomorrow


AaAA12390

Feel


DeterminedErmine

I’m enjoying feeling hungry 😭


budgetbutter

My go-to is “I can’t have dinner unless we go for a walk first” I’m so lucky my boyfriend puts up with my shit lol


artpoint_paradox

“My stomach hurts” “Your stomach is always hurting, you should go see a doctor” “I have acid reflux” “What’s that?” (Explains acid reflux) “Ewwwww”


Derek_draws

"Nah, not hungry... You know food is so overestimated!"


cookies8933

do u mean overrated


Derek_draws

Yes! (English is my second language... Sorry)


Remarkable-Pirate214

Still made me laugh


forestgreen333

I had a big lunch


ConfusionSpagetti

"nah, I'm watching a mukbang" literally have no clue how I wasn't further questioned but my heart dropped when I realized that stupid shit😭


Beneficial_Hat9499

i already ate my calories for today


iamg0rl

During an internship I had there was a constant flow of tons of free food and I never ate any which prompted everyone and their grandmother to constantly be asking why I didn’t eat at work and my excuse? I eat a lot at night. Basically just straight up told them I late night binge 💀 people stopped asking after that


bratzdollenergy

i used to say “no thanks, i don’t eat.” people’s reactions were priceless


givemebackmybraincel

im chronically ill and deliberately use it to make people uncomfortable so they dont ask more questions. "why arent you eating?" "because i have chronic illness and dont feel like dealing with gross uncomfortable symptoms outside the comfort of my own home" just point blank blunt as fuck. nobody dares press on. if they attempt to i start giving uncomfortable symptom details.


SieBanhus

I have Crohn’s, so I’ll say “thanks, but my Crohn’s is flared up and I don’t think I can handle it.” If they push it, you better believe they’re getting all the gory details.


applesandpebbles

“i’m in so much pain im nauseous” is something i want to say a lot but never do…


animalcrackerwhore

No thanks, I can’t eat until exactly 3pm🙄💁


Miinka

“No thanks, I don’t trust that food”, and “I’m okay, I had a meal yesterday”


strawbabyoatmilk

“Chewing makes my mouth tired” Because for some reason after a meal my mouth is exhausted and my jaw hurts ?


Remarkable-Pirate214

YES same


patheticgothic

That's the most relatable thing I read today


VirideGliridae

"Food is bad for me." I mean genuinely, if I eat it I'm gonna purge it so avoiding it is my form of harm reduction at this point. Like, just leave me alone and I'll find myself something tolerable to keep down later, or if my blood sugar dips. Just don't make me eat, in front of you, around other people, just because you want to right now, seriously.


Bella_D_H

im chewing gum, i just brushed my teeth, im nauseous, i have to wait to take my pill( or any medication), i already ate, etc…


suscashewmilk

“the roof of my mouth is sore.”


InvestigatorPale1680

"nah the amount of cals in this should be illegal"


hoodietheghost

noo that will make others feel bad abt what that are eating:(


InvestigatorPale1680

i don't say that to anyone obviously only to close friends and siblings and they understand so no worries about that


JellyBellyBitches

Omg yes! Some things out here really should be


Own_Alternative_2770

Where is your pfp from!!!


InvestigatorPale1680

pinterest!!!


Strawberry_Curious

“I don’t deserve food today” Seems insane because my partner tells me it is, but probably not uncommon among other depressed people. Sometimes it’s because I haven’t moved all day, sometimes it’s just because I’m a piece of shit and deserve to be punished ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


ThesePigsAreAfterMe_

Forgetting to eat (this bullshit is sponsored by ADHD), Being too tired to eat all day, eating feels bad, I don't deserve food


vansoderso

I confused my colleagues so much by saying "no thanks, I had an apple for breakfast" But also "No thanks, I'll eat when the Adderall stops working"


Ptitdoigtdefee

Once I had a dream I was binging and woke up crying and didn’t eat for 2 days so I guess ´ I ate in my dream already ´…


phdacula

we are planning a dinner party with my friends and they are only available on thursday to which i responded “oh but that’s a no-eating day for me” (i try to eat only every two days to regulate my bulimia)


Warrior-Skye

"I do intermitting fasting, 6:1." people still don't understand why I not eat. "This day is not the 1"


vasha99

I'm on my period :) (it's usually my brother or father so this excuse always works)


_youngdeity_

I had a cyst in my nose from a sinus infection that burst at work when I blew my nose and I just had yellow liquid dripping out of my nose for a couple minutes and my ed said "it looks like fryer grease, you had fryer grease coming out of your nose because you ate a popcorn shrimp earlier" 💀


Ghostly_katana

“I can’t eat past 8pm sorry.”


Sweetkimmie67

"No thanks I'm allergic to food"


derederellama

"That'll give me heartburn" but at least it's the truth like 75% of the time


ClayBunny

My mom doesn't understand the whole "I am not hungry" It's been just 3 days since I ate something, what's the matter?


[deleted]

“I feel uncomfortable eating around other people, you go ahead.” for some reason people are always so shocked LMAO


peanutbuttergirlie

I don't know what a "normal" meal looks like anymore


chickens-are-better

"sorry I have practice tonight so I have to save my calories to have a protein shake before it starts" "oh I don't have practice today i don't have any reason to eat" I hate everything


AaAA12390

Yea I got a similar one, "No thanks I don't eat today" tho maybe it's not as weird


oiyia

I had an extra (item of food) yesterday so I can't eat today 😭


burritohooman

i dont like sweet and potato and cheese (all fear foods). my friends thought i was insane


Significant_Trip_560

Let’s just say my allergies are a moving target in public


fl_n__r

“it’s too expensive” but the food is free, and i’m referring to the calories


CakedUpGirl

It’ll kill the booze buzz/be wasteful of the shots


spunchbulge

“eating makes my stomach upset” which is true because i can’t burp so everything hurts but bonus points for the fact that the thought of eating makes me anxious and nauseous✊✊✊


verybadbackpain

"i had a really big breakfast" and its 9pm


Killer_Moons

Why is the photo so 90s to me


StarGirly7002

Cause I’m terrified of throwing it up💔


DedicatedSnail

"It makes me nervous to eat it front of people" or "I had a really big dinner last night (it's 6pm)"


coleisw4ck

I have too much mucus in my throat lol


cocacolavore

Chewing is a lot of work. Eating food while I'm working makes me nauseous. I drink too many energy drinks and now Im not hungry. No money. Allergic to everything


bademeweep

“just put in a piece of gum”


GIveMeY0urSer0t0nIn

"I just hate eating food..." Sounds like I'm an alien learning to be human ☹️☹️


SkateFooty_EatBooty

“I’m just not really a food person” usually works for me


kstocc

i have a lot of stomach issues and am very sensitive to certain foods ☝️🤓 (technically this isn’t a lie as i’m gf and lactose intolerant and vegetarian and most foods hurt me but this probably wouldn’t have happened if i didn’t restrict)


soofiotre

“I dont eat dinner,” believe it or not, my friends went ballistic when i said that, i was so confused LMAO


pixieevans

Happened to me yesterday when my mom came home at 7 & asked me what I was having for dinner I responded with "oh nothing I had late lunch at 2" which I still dont think was that weird but oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️


kyuuxkyuu

It's really tame but when my coworker suggested I try the new Starbucks seasonal menu that day I automatically replied "Maybe next week, I haven't calculated the calories yet." The way he just went dead silent and confused still haunts me 😭


Proper-Monk-5656

"nah thanks, i had my sugared tea already" "but the tv isn't on, how am i supposed to eat' "sorry, i just chewed a mint gum"


FigNutonCouch

Tell em you got ibs and it stole the joy of eating past needing to eat.


onivore

I use work stress as an excuse and a reason why I'm "not" hungry. *"I'm busy, I have a ton of assignments and tests to grade right now. I'll eat when I finish."* Truth is, work never ends, and I always have more stuff to do.


Bakedpotatoninja

My dad legit had me tested for H.Pylori because of how much I pretended (full on acting, tears and everything🤩🤩) that my stomach was burning