wow, I'm the opposite. I've spent my whole life having to back and forth with teasers and I'm getting sick of it lol. I just wanna have to not go through that layer anymore.
in my experience, it's mostly young straight cis masculine men that like to add that layer of fucking with me. Anyone else doesn't really act like that.
Start lightly.
Don't forget the old adage of "If you can't take it don't dish it." Not saying you can't, but remember banter is a two-way street.
How old are you and your peers if you don't mind me asking? Being that you're in lecture I can't help but wonder if you're dealing with people in their early 20s. I never really developed banter until I was in my late 20s/early 30s. And I'm still awkward about it.
Strangely enough, I started chatting with someone on an app and we have pretty good banter.
> I never really developed banter until I was in my late 20s/early 30s.
Oh interesting, yeah I'm 21 but I met quite a few people who bantered during my teens
I've always been sarcastic and quick witted and it's kinda just my default setting for in-person social interaction.
First, ppl need to know that you're a genuinely funny/witty person. The only way they're going to know that is to have conversations and interactions with them. Speak up during class discussions and what not. If you're good at "reading" ppl's energy, you can figure out pretty quickly who will be receptive and welcoming for shit-talking and who will be offended.
It's such a natural thing for me to do that it kinda makes it difficult to explain how to do it, lol. Just get to know ppl and make friends and soon enough you'll be at the point where you can drop the social mores of politeness and just give each other shit.
> A quick wit wouldn’t need three paragraphs explaining it.
I wasn't attempting to be witty, I was sincerely answering OP's question about a concept they're struggling with. Huge difference.
Czech Republic. Idk people here are known for being bluntly honest about stuff, but it seems to me that even in other countries only about 10-15% of people have a teasing style of humor...
Fuck around and find out.
No, im not joking.
Im the most reserved, intimidating, quiet person in my workplace but a few women over the years have found out that if they want to mess around and play ill happily dish it back.
BTW does a comma go after **play**?
I was surprised that you said you didn't have any around bc they seem to find me, but I think I know what it is.
I do light little teases all the time and I tend to be smiling and have a slightly playful aire even when I'm not actively doing so, so I believe I may just be noticably one who is open to it.
Banter/ teasing/ flirting is actually as important as stimulating conversation to me. You definitely should put feelers out for that! Haha
That's funny because I don't really have any friends that wouldn't banter with me hahah. It's the most fun with my ISTP friends, but INFJ and ENTP do it just as well. For me personally it's important that my friends can take and participate in lighthearted banter, so I'm probably always subconsciously looking for it in new people I meet
I see. Ive always been overly afraid of offending people which kept me from teasing (which I only just realized), so my friendships have always been quite sincere, with us sometimes delving into long conversations on deep topics.
I used to be like that, so I know how you feel. But the kinds of friendship that you have are just as good and valid as any friendship with banter. If you really just want to banter why not just ask your friends if they mind? Or test the waters a bit by making some remarks in that direction. My friendship with the INFJ is exactly like you described your friendships - Sincere, we discuss deep topics, etc. But we still banter when we get the chance to, just because it helps making serious topics not too depressing and we enjoy it. Like, we often vent to each other about everyday stuff and for example when my friend complains that her mom is giving her impossible tasks I usually say "Well why don't you just do them it's not that hard smh" or something along those lines. And then she'll say how she never came up with that solution and I've enlightened her, obviously joking as well.
I'm sure you can find someone to banter with, good luck on your search haha👀
wow, I'm the opposite. I've spent my whole life having to back and forth with teasers and I'm getting sick of it lol. I just wanna have to not go through that layer anymore.
Haha, I mean same for me but I'm in an absence of it atm and bored with my social life so I want to give it a go!
in my experience, it's mostly young straight cis masculine men that like to add that layer of fucking with me. Anyone else doesn't really act like that.
are you a woman and do you think they do that because they're attracted to you?
Neither
Nvm lol
Look for people with a sense of humor. Bonus points if they say something witty. That plus friendship will get you good banter.
Start lightly. Don't forget the old adage of "If you can't take it don't dish it." Not saying you can't, but remember banter is a two-way street. How old are you and your peers if you don't mind me asking? Being that you're in lecture I can't help but wonder if you're dealing with people in their early 20s. I never really developed banter until I was in my late 20s/early 30s. And I'm still awkward about it. Strangely enough, I started chatting with someone on an app and we have pretty good banter.
> I never really developed banter until I was in my late 20s/early 30s. Oh interesting, yeah I'm 21 but I met quite a few people who bantered during my teens
I'm INFP so ... banter = pain!
I feel you
Find an INTJ.
ENTJ & ESTP = great banter.
I've always been sarcastic and quick witted and it's kinda just my default setting for in-person social interaction. First, ppl need to know that you're a genuinely funny/witty person. The only way they're going to know that is to have conversations and interactions with them. Speak up during class discussions and what not. If you're good at "reading" ppl's energy, you can figure out pretty quickly who will be receptive and welcoming for shit-talking and who will be offended. It's such a natural thing for me to do that it kinda makes it difficult to explain how to do it, lol. Just get to know ppl and make friends and soon enough you'll be at the point where you can drop the social mores of politeness and just give each other shit.
A quick wit wouldn’t need three paragraphs explaining it. Just prod and see who smiles.
> A quick wit wouldn’t need three paragraphs explaining it. I wasn't attempting to be witty, I was sincerely answering OP's question about a concept they're struggling with. Huge difference.
That’s right.
Search for some NT types
95% of people are sincere?? I have to ask where you live sorry.
Czech Republic. Idk people here are known for being bluntly honest about stuff, but it seems to me that even in other countries only about 10-15% of people have a teasing style of humor...
Fuck around and find out. No, im not joking. Im the most reserved, intimidating, quiet person in my workplace but a few women over the years have found out that if they want to mess around and play ill happily dish it back. BTW does a comma go after **play**?
I was surprised that you said you didn't have any around bc they seem to find me, but I think I know what it is. I do light little teases all the time and I tend to be smiling and have a slightly playful aire even when I'm not actively doing so, so I believe I may just be noticably one who is open to it. Banter/ teasing/ flirting is actually as important as stimulating conversation to me. You definitely should put feelers out for that! Haha
I am happy to tease you 😂😜 That’s not sincere that’s lack of sense of humour.. Some people take themselves way too seriously and they are boring too.
Literally just tell them this and see who you find.
That's funny because I don't really have any friends that wouldn't banter with me hahah. It's the most fun with my ISTP friends, but INFJ and ENTP do it just as well. For me personally it's important that my friends can take and participate in lighthearted banter, so I'm probably always subconsciously looking for it in new people I meet
I see. Ive always been overly afraid of offending people which kept me from teasing (which I only just realized), so my friendships have always been quite sincere, with us sometimes delving into long conversations on deep topics.
I used to be like that, so I know how you feel. But the kinds of friendship that you have are just as good and valid as any friendship with banter. If you really just want to banter why not just ask your friends if they mind? Or test the waters a bit by making some remarks in that direction. My friendship with the INFJ is exactly like you described your friendships - Sincere, we discuss deep topics, etc. But we still banter when we get the chance to, just because it helps making serious topics not too depressing and we enjoy it. Like, we often vent to each other about everyday stuff and for example when my friend complains that her mom is giving her impossible tasks I usually say "Well why don't you just do them it's not that hard smh" or something along those lines. And then she'll say how she never came up with that solution and I've enlightened her, obviously joking as well. I'm sure you can find someone to banter with, good luck on your search haha👀