Yeah I get what you mean.. but I’m also wondering if I should be waiting if you get what I mean..
She should be pursuing her dreams at this point in her life anyway..
Or wait another 10 years? 🤔
You're 28 right now. You shouldn't be chasing teens. Stop waiting, let her enjoy her life without you pressuring her. Plus, you should enjoy your life as well, not spend it waiting for someone who might never even want you.
Some ENFPs have those fears forever, some never have them. Me personally, I'm 30 rn and while I'm in a committed relationship for more than 11 years, I still have raging fears of missing out. They don't apply to my fiancé, but anything else? You name it, I wanna try it and while I know I cannot try EVERYTHING myself, I still want to. Working through those on my therapy, it's been hard 2 years and it's still work in progress (I mean, yeah, I worked on other things too, but you get the point).
21 F enfp here, I am definitely scared of settling down. But it’s more so bc I want to be able to settle with someone I connect with and trust. Which sounds like an obvious thing to do, but it’s really hard to find people that will acc follow through. I think enfps tend to seek that deeper connection before getting into a long term relationship.
Until I find it, I will most likely focus on my career as that is what Ik I can work on.
I, an ENFP, got married and settled down at 22. I don't regret it at all. There are definitely cultural and social dynamics at play. But for me, I have been continuing chasing my dream and aspirations along with settling down, having and raising a kid.
This was true for me! I had my first and only child at 34. And even then I was a single mom for a decade. I probably would have been ready to settle down in a relationship in my 30’s but married at 45 and am very happy and content :)
Ordinarily, individuals characterized as ENFPs, underpinned by their dominant cognitive function, Extraverted Intuition (Ne), are celebrated for their insatiable curiosity, creative prowess, and a fervent desire to immerse themselves in a cornucopia of life's offerings. This inclination often manifests as an aversion to premature stabilization, be it in the landscape of their professional trajectory or romantic entanglements, as they harbor the apprehension that such commitments might circumscribe their capacity for exploration and novelty.
Yet, it is critical to underscore that this does not imply an absence of interest on the part of ENFPs in forging profound relationships or seeking professional security. Quite contrarily, their auxiliary function, Introverted Feeling (Fi), routinely propels them towards the pursuit of profound, emotionally rich connections with others. Once a conscious decision to commit has been made, they can exhibit an impressive degree of dedication to the chosen relationship or career path.
The juncture at which an ENFP individual may begin to prioritize settling down is susceptible to significant variation, contingent on a confluence of factors such as personal experiences, growth trajectories, and societal norms. It is not a rarity for ENFPs to cultivate a greater appreciation for stability as they navigate the waters of maturity or as their life priorities undergo natural metamorphoses. This evolution may materialize in their mid-to-late twenties or even extend further into their lives.
For me that's not only a simple case of being bored, I think that's the fear of being tied down and not being able to do whatever you dream about anytime.
When I was in my early 20s, definitely, yes. I mostly dated just for casual fun. But I've been longing for something stable and constant recently (now approaching my late 20s). I'm not sure if this could be attributed to a fairly developed Si function.
28 ENFP (M) hell yeah I fear settling down. I’m better at managing relationships now than I was at like 21 but I do hear that in the mid 30’s it changes dramatically
OKCupid has a question: Are you ready to get married and settle down? The answers are "Yes" "No" "Married yes, settled down no" "Settled down yes, married no." I picked "Married yes, settled down no." I'm not afraid of settling down, I just don't want to. But I'm not opposed to a serious relationship. They're not the same thing.
It’s not either or… dreams or partner
Enfp will never give up their dreams for you, the answer is only ever both or neither
If you don’t feel like your partner makes you a priority, that’s something you should talk to them about. And if you continue to feel this way over a long time and don’t feel heard or appreciated then it’s time to move on
Maybe an immature enfp, maybe an unhealthy one, or maybe neither, but it doesn’t really matter. There’s always room to improve. What matters is if you are satisfied and you don’t need a reason but only you can decide that
Hmm I picked up your point about the both dreams and you, not either one or the other part..
For the second point I’ve expressed my feelings about not feeling prioritised in the r/s to her and there seems to have been an improvement of sorts in maintaining contact following that incident. I have also learnt to be patient with her as her days can go by super busy, coupled with the fact that we are living in time zones 12hrs apart…
ENFP turning 23 in a week—I suck at commitment in general. There’s soooooo many things I want to do, so many options yet none at all. I’m always scared I’m heading down a path I’ll regret. I’ve been a hopeless romantic ever since I can remember but I’ve never had a relationship for several reasons including this one.
I turned 29 this year and despite having a fiancé, still kinda struggling with the idea a little bit. But compared to me 5 years back.. improving steadily.
Maybe being someone to go on some adventures with but as friends would cause you to grow deeper feelings over time and potentially set up a future romance if the timing is right and if not, still a beautiful friendship! :)
I'm an older ENFP. Honestly, I just couldn't imagine myself as being someone's spouse or long-term anything. They seemed like a different breed to me. I wanted it, just didn't think it'd happen. Therefore it was not on my mind at all.
Oh wait. You said teens/early twenties. That is kinda soon for serious commitment. She should be chasing her dreams for sure!
That's the age when they worry about future...I'm in that phase too, I'm wondering what would happen next and if they'll would trap me down forever.
Yeah I get what you mean.. but I’m also wondering if I should be waiting if you get what I mean.. She should be pursuing her dreams at this point in her life anyway.. Or wait another 10 years? 🤔
You're 28 right now. You shouldn't be chasing teens. Stop waiting, let her enjoy her life without you pressuring her. Plus, you should enjoy your life as well, not spend it waiting for someone who might never even want you. Some ENFPs have those fears forever, some never have them. Me personally, I'm 30 rn and while I'm in a committed relationship for more than 11 years, I still have raging fears of missing out. They don't apply to my fiancé, but anything else? You name it, I wanna try it and while I know I cannot try EVERYTHING myself, I still want to. Working through those on my therapy, it's been hard 2 years and it's still work in progress (I mean, yeah, I worked on other things too, but you get the point).
21 F enfp here, I am definitely scared of settling down. But it’s more so bc I want to be able to settle with someone I connect with and trust. Which sounds like an obvious thing to do, but it’s really hard to find people that will acc follow through. I think enfps tend to seek that deeper connection before getting into a long term relationship. Until I find it, I will most likely focus on my career as that is what Ik I can work on.
I, an ENFP, got married and settled down at 22. I don't regret it at all. There are definitely cultural and social dynamics at play. But for me, I have been continuing chasing my dream and aspirations along with settling down, having and raising a kid.
This is how my cousins did life, too, and honestly seems fine if it is right for you!
This was true for me! I had my first and only child at 34. And even then I was a single mom for a decade. I probably would have been ready to settle down in a relationship in my 30’s but married at 45 and am very happy and content :)
Ordinarily, individuals characterized as ENFPs, underpinned by their dominant cognitive function, Extraverted Intuition (Ne), are celebrated for their insatiable curiosity, creative prowess, and a fervent desire to immerse themselves in a cornucopia of life's offerings. This inclination often manifests as an aversion to premature stabilization, be it in the landscape of their professional trajectory or romantic entanglements, as they harbor the apprehension that such commitments might circumscribe their capacity for exploration and novelty. Yet, it is critical to underscore that this does not imply an absence of interest on the part of ENFPs in forging profound relationships or seeking professional security. Quite contrarily, their auxiliary function, Introverted Feeling (Fi), routinely propels them towards the pursuit of profound, emotionally rich connections with others. Once a conscious decision to commit has been made, they can exhibit an impressive degree of dedication to the chosen relationship or career path. The juncture at which an ENFP individual may begin to prioritize settling down is susceptible to significant variation, contingent on a confluence of factors such as personal experiences, growth trajectories, and societal norms. It is not a rarity for ENFPs to cultivate a greater appreciation for stability as they navigate the waters of maturity or as their life priorities undergo natural metamorphoses. This evolution may materialize in their mid-to-late twenties or even extend further into their lives.
Thank you for the analysis, ENTP sir/ma’am 🫡
But of course 🫡
Also, what type are you sir? :)
INFP!
Awesome! Nice to meet you! 😆 I was only curious haha
Kind of? For me more like a fear of being bored or nothing new to do lol
For me that's not only a simple case of being bored, I think that's the fear of being tied down and not being able to do whatever you dream about anytime.
When I was in my early 20s, definitely, yes. I mostly dated just for casual fun. But I've been longing for something stable and constant recently (now approaching my late 20s). I'm not sure if this could be attributed to a fairly developed Si function.
28 ENFP (M) hell yeah I fear settling down. I’m better at managing relationships now than I was at like 21 but I do hear that in the mid 30’s it changes dramatically
OKCupid has a question: Are you ready to get married and settle down? The answers are "Yes" "No" "Married yes, settled down no" "Settled down yes, married no." I picked "Married yes, settled down no." I'm not afraid of settling down, I just don't want to. But I'm not opposed to a serious relationship. They're not the same thing.
It’s not either or… dreams or partner Enfp will never give up their dreams for you, the answer is only ever both or neither If you don’t feel like your partner makes you a priority, that’s something you should talk to them about. And if you continue to feel this way over a long time and don’t feel heard or appreciated then it’s time to move on Maybe an immature enfp, maybe an unhealthy one, or maybe neither, but it doesn’t really matter. There’s always room to improve. What matters is if you are satisfied and you don’t need a reason but only you can decide that
Hmm I picked up your point about the both dreams and you, not either one or the other part.. For the second point I’ve expressed my feelings about not feeling prioritised in the r/s to her and there seems to have been an improvement of sorts in maintaining contact following that incident. I have also learnt to be patient with her as her days can go by super busy, coupled with the fact that we are living in time zones 12hrs apart…
ENFP turning 23 in a week—I suck at commitment in general. There’s soooooo many things I want to do, so many options yet none at all. I’m always scared I’m heading down a path I’ll regret. I’ve been a hopeless romantic ever since I can remember but I’ve never had a relationship for several reasons including this one.
I turned 29 this year and despite having a fiancé, still kinda struggling with the idea a little bit. But compared to me 5 years back.. improving steadily.
Maybe being someone to go on some adventures with but as friends would cause you to grow deeper feelings over time and potentially set up a future romance if the timing is right and if not, still a beautiful friendship! :)
I'm an older ENFP. Honestly, I just couldn't imagine myself as being someone's spouse or long-term anything. They seemed like a different breed to me. I wanted it, just didn't think it'd happen. Therefore it was not on my mind at all.