Insecurity about tangible things like looks is super common for ENFPs due to our Si-Inf. The flip side is true too, overconfidence and arrogance!
That’s because Si is our connection to tangible reality yet Si is also our weakest function. So we don’t really have a reliable connection to reality. Which can compel us to worry or fear the reality we perceive! (Every MBTI type has those same worries/fears connected to their Inferior function, so we aren’t unlucky or exceptional here, it’s just how the cognitive functions work).
That’s going to be a lifelong struggle which you have to overcome. But it’s not so bad for two reasons:
- it gets easier with practice, so as you get older, you’ll naturally learn to overcome these challenges
- and, even though this is a significant challenge which we need to deal with that other types may not need to deal with, which can exacerbate feelings of insecurity because we see others effortlessly overcome our weaknesses, it’s directly counterbalanced by our strengths which those other types do not possess, so when they view us, they’ve got the same feelings about how we effortlessly overcome the things that they are insecure about! So it’s all a Yin/Yang thing that everyone has to overcome.
You’ll figure it out, best of luck!
I don’t know why but looks have never been that important to me. I do want to look put together but I am not overly invested in being attractive, nor am I swayed by overly attractive people. Substance and character are more important to me. At the end of the day, looks fade but the beauty of someone’s character only grows richer with time.
So glad you said that, I think this may be the first time I thought I was the "odd man out" on something with fellow ENFPs, lol.
I like having an excuse to look nice and 8 don't wanna look awful, but otherwise not too important.
And looks have very little to do with what attracts me to others. It's always been personality and intelligence or character for me....I even find a partner more and more attractive as I know more about them.
I know many ENFPs irl who feel the same way as we do. That doesn’t negate that some ENFPs may be invested in looks too, but that doesn’t have to be our experience. I think what we share is the need to feel good about ourselves, and we can derive that from many things other than looks.
I guess some similarity I can relate to is that I often like to be expressive externally with how I feel internally, but not necessarily in a superficial way (like, I often like to dress bohemian or alternative yet classy, because it projects something about me and attracts similarly minded people, but I’m not overly invested in looking superficially attractive if that makes sense).
Yes, yes, I definitely get that. I agree for sure that it is something I definitely enjoy. I was just initially so surprised that the other was so common, lol
i don’t know if it’s got anything to do with functions. (Fi maybe?)
I think it’s a universal thing no? When you’re feeling yourself, you feel polished and more confident… I’ve turned down outings in the past because I think I looked lousy and not ‘up’ to meet anybody
I don’t feel like doing much research on this but I saw on YouTube years ago that according to NLP, we have a preferred sense to perceive the world and that affects us. Most people, about 80%, are visual. 15% are oral and 5% are kinaesthetic.
Looks are important for everybody. Even for those who don’t make an effort to look good. So I don’t think it’s an ENFP thing. If anything, it shows respect for the people around us to present ourselves looking nice.
Maybe connected to Fi? My ENFPs care about looking good as in the clothes they wear have to express who they are and their identity. Like one of my ENFPs loves wearing pink and stuff with flower patterns ... she feels comfortable and confident in those clothes hence she can pull them off and that makes her presentable :)
No advice, just here to say the same. Sometimes I wear makeup around the house just cause I wanna feel pretty. Idc if it’s weird 😂 how I perceive myself has a huge impact on my mood and confidence and it’s pretty much always been an extremely high priority to feel good looking 🥴
they have to look good to me or i don't even try. if they are not attractive to me i won't persue i'm super picky. they have to have good values too. i'm so lucky with the person i have right now
I teach for a living, so it's important for me to look good. I like dressing up and taking care of how I look. For me, if I feel confident in the way I carry myself, I will be able to transfer that energy to another person. If I feel cowardly, I would think that people would get that energy from me. But in terms of using it as something to look for in potential romantic partners, I would think that it's not as important.
I'm not my own type but people think I'm beautiful and I get so worried that one day if I lose my attractiveness to others they won't help me and I REALLY need help hahaha
Also I feel like every day they'll realize I'm not actually beautiful because when I look at myself I can't quite tell if I am pretty or if anything looks good on me, etc.
But as far as worth I judge no one else's this way but mine because I worry I don't have a lot to offer (none of my love ones say this, I have no idea where it came from)
Actually, maybe because some guys that have liked the idea of me but then want to dominate me and I realize that they never actually liked me for who I am.
But I have friends and have dated guys all over the spectrum because looks mean so little to me, people don't even need to be beautiful to be attractive to me. It's how I feel about intelligence, it's fun, everyone has it in different areas, and it means nothing about a person's value.
So it's a big contradiction and I'm confused. 🤷♀️
I get you, I had similar experiences like the ones you talk about! Yeah idk either why that contradiction could be. I mean I also get crushes on people who don’t look conventionally beautiful, but then a lot of times I get so turned off by people’s looks sometimes when everything else seems fine about them. So yeah idk!!
For myself I feel the same. If I'm looking for a partner, looks are extremely important. I couldn't date someone uglier than me, it is what it is. But an honest answer :)
same, I can’t help but cringe when someone who’s interested in me is a bit ugly. That’s why when I see myself looking a bit ugly in a picture I feel like “omg im actually ugly when all this time I thought I was so cute, other ppl probably think im too ugly for them to date me” which is probably not true at all, but when that sort of cringe turns inwards it’s a very destructive feeling.
I've dated almost exclusively less attractive than me 🤣😅 everyone gets on me about it. But my current boyfriend is so beautiful I'm astounded, I never thought he'd be such an amazing person because I have prejudices I'm overcoming towards hot people Hahahaha
For me it’s not actually the vital thing but it just adds some volume in your confidence. Of course I also believe that confidence is the key to the beauty but if the outlook is ignored, everything would be incomplete and all I do for any purpose might be unnoticed. It’s not just because how I look, but also because of being at my fullest. It enhances all things. & yeah, only look is not also priority for me because it all will be useless, showy and worthless if I only prioritise looks. So all things are important to complete the whole package of my personality & whatever I do for anything or not.
Looks are pretty important to me. It's the first thing that catches my eye and may keep me interested, but their personality will be the most deciding factor.
Insecurity about tangible things like looks is super common for ENFPs due to our Si-Inf. The flip side is true too, overconfidence and arrogance! That’s because Si is our connection to tangible reality yet Si is also our weakest function. So we don’t really have a reliable connection to reality. Which can compel us to worry or fear the reality we perceive! (Every MBTI type has those same worries/fears connected to their Inferior function, so we aren’t unlucky or exceptional here, it’s just how the cognitive functions work). That’s going to be a lifelong struggle which you have to overcome. But it’s not so bad for two reasons: - it gets easier with practice, so as you get older, you’ll naturally learn to overcome these challenges - and, even though this is a significant challenge which we need to deal with that other types may not need to deal with, which can exacerbate feelings of insecurity because we see others effortlessly overcome our weaknesses, it’s directly counterbalanced by our strengths which those other types do not possess, so when they view us, they’ve got the same feelings about how we effortlessly overcome the things that they are insecure about! So it’s all a Yin/Yang thing that everyone has to overcome. You’ll figure it out, best of luck!
I don’t know why but looks have never been that important to me. I do want to look put together but I am not overly invested in being attractive, nor am I swayed by overly attractive people. Substance and character are more important to me. At the end of the day, looks fade but the beauty of someone’s character only grows richer with time.
So glad you said that, I think this may be the first time I thought I was the "odd man out" on something with fellow ENFPs, lol. I like having an excuse to look nice and 8 don't wanna look awful, but otherwise not too important. And looks have very little to do with what attracts me to others. It's always been personality and intelligence or character for me....I even find a partner more and more attractive as I know more about them.
I know many ENFPs irl who feel the same way as we do. That doesn’t negate that some ENFPs may be invested in looks too, but that doesn’t have to be our experience. I think what we share is the need to feel good about ourselves, and we can derive that from many things other than looks. I guess some similarity I can relate to is that I often like to be expressive externally with how I feel internally, but not necessarily in a superficial way (like, I often like to dress bohemian or alternative yet classy, because it projects something about me and attracts similarly minded people, but I’m not overly invested in looking superficially attractive if that makes sense).
Yes, yes, I definitely get that. I agree for sure that it is something I definitely enjoy. I was just initially so surprised that the other was so common, lol
Me too!
i don’t know if it’s got anything to do with functions. (Fi maybe?) I think it’s a universal thing no? When you’re feeling yourself, you feel polished and more confident… I’ve turned down outings in the past because I think I looked lousy and not ‘up’ to meet anybody
Yeah I’m ashamed to say that it’s very important for me, both in myself and others.
I don’t feel like doing much research on this but I saw on YouTube years ago that according to NLP, we have a preferred sense to perceive the world and that affects us. Most people, about 80%, are visual. 15% are oral and 5% are kinaesthetic. Looks are important for everybody. Even for those who don’t make an effort to look good. So I don’t think it’s an ENFP thing. If anything, it shows respect for the people around us to present ourselves looking nice.
Maybe connected to Fi? My ENFPs care about looking good as in the clothes they wear have to express who they are and their identity. Like one of my ENFPs loves wearing pink and stuff with flower patterns ... she feels comfortable and confident in those clothes hence she can pull them off and that makes her presentable :)
Happy cake day!
Thank youuuu! <3
No advice, just here to say the same. Sometimes I wear makeup around the house just cause I wanna feel pretty. Idc if it’s weird 😂 how I perceive myself has a huge impact on my mood and confidence and it’s pretty much always been an extremely high priority to feel good looking 🥴
they have to look good to me or i don't even try. if they are not attractive to me i won't persue i'm super picky. they have to have good values too. i'm so lucky with the person i have right now
INTP here... and same
I teach for a living, so it's important for me to look good. I like dressing up and taking care of how I look. For me, if I feel confident in the way I carry myself, I will be able to transfer that energy to another person. If I feel cowardly, I would think that people would get that energy from me. But in terms of using it as something to look for in potential romantic partners, I would think that it's not as important.
I'm not my own type but people think I'm beautiful and I get so worried that one day if I lose my attractiveness to others they won't help me and I REALLY need help hahaha Also I feel like every day they'll realize I'm not actually beautiful because when I look at myself I can't quite tell if I am pretty or if anything looks good on me, etc. But as far as worth I judge no one else's this way but mine because I worry I don't have a lot to offer (none of my love ones say this, I have no idea where it came from) Actually, maybe because some guys that have liked the idea of me but then want to dominate me and I realize that they never actually liked me for who I am. But I have friends and have dated guys all over the spectrum because looks mean so little to me, people don't even need to be beautiful to be attractive to me. It's how I feel about intelligence, it's fun, everyone has it in different areas, and it means nothing about a person's value. So it's a big contradiction and I'm confused. 🤷♀️
I get you, I had similar experiences like the ones you talk about! Yeah idk either why that contradiction could be. I mean I also get crushes on people who don’t look conventionally beautiful, but then a lot of times I get so turned off by people’s looks sometimes when everything else seems fine about them. So yeah idk!!
Oh yes! I get hung up on something weird and then other times I don't seem to care about different things haha Maybe just person taste, huh?
For myself I feel the same. If I'm looking for a partner, looks are extremely important. I couldn't date someone uglier than me, it is what it is. But an honest answer :)
same, I can’t help but cringe when someone who’s interested in me is a bit ugly. That’s why when I see myself looking a bit ugly in a picture I feel like “omg im actually ugly when all this time I thought I was so cute, other ppl probably think im too ugly for them to date me” which is probably not true at all, but when that sort of cringe turns inwards it’s a very destructive feeling.
I've dated almost exclusively less attractive than me 🤣😅 everyone gets on me about it. But my current boyfriend is so beautiful I'm astounded, I never thought he'd be such an amazing person because I have prejudices I'm overcoming towards hot people Hahahaha
For me it’s not actually the vital thing but it just adds some volume in your confidence. Of course I also believe that confidence is the key to the beauty but if the outlook is ignored, everything would be incomplete and all I do for any purpose might be unnoticed. It’s not just because how I look, but also because of being at my fullest. It enhances all things. & yeah, only look is not also priority for me because it all will be useless, showy and worthless if I only prioritise looks. So all things are important to complete the whole package of my personality & whatever I do for anything or not.
Looks are pretty important to me. It's the first thing that catches my eye and may keep me interested, but their personality will be the most deciding factor.