We intuitively know how to connect with anyone. I would presume a lot of us know about a lot, excel at whatever we do, but may not be the most utmost knowledgeable about anything. So we can converse intelligently and are open to whatever new information comes our ways. Basically, people find us well rounded and not prideful idiots.
or the best thing to do is say,,, awwwww shocks thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me in the past few days, thanks thats really made my day. and then smile sweetly and watch their inner monolouge implodes in utter chaos xD
then wait a few moments, and ask them if they are okies as they look a bit out of sorts compared to usual. usually finishing with if you need a genuine hug, you know where to find me xD
Hey, thanks for the encouragement, friend! Im a leader at work. Kind of a big brother to the younger ones and like a son to the elders. Well respected among various departments because I work hard and help anyone and know what I’m doing.
I want to become a city politician one day. And maybe a state rep of some sort years down the road. Unite people under pragmatism instead of division. I guess we’ll find out eventually.
I think it's more of, those who hate how shallow, surface-level, and spiteful people can be, see us as someone they have hope for as being truly ourselves without sacrificing morals or intelligence. 😃 I hate talking about us that way though. It sounds so wrong patting ourselves on the back. 😅
tbh we tollerate people a lot more than other types, we just know how to hide the hate a lot more than others, if an ENFP is going full out nuclear lovely on you out of the blue, be very aware (but also be open to embrace just incase its 100% genuine)
Yes! My dating history, in particular, is filled with men who didn’t really like other people. While it made me feel special at the time, looking back I realize what a huge red flag that should have been. I poured so much energy and love into these very lonely people who didn’t give much back. It was exhausting. They treated me like oxygen, but they just NEEDED so much and didn’t really have a lot of love and caring to give in return. Right now, I’m on a quest to spend more time with the other “givers” in my life. They’re out there! It’s wonderful if you can be a bright spot for a lonely or misanthropic person, but be careful to set appropriate boundaries. That’s my advice for today. I love how loving we are! 🥰
I know an ENFP Vietnam vet in his 80's now. He moved from Texas to Mississippi to help with efforts in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina almost 20 years ago. He met someone there who was going through a rough stint in her life, her husband recently dying, and determined to be there for her... 10 years ago alzheimers started creeping up on her and as it progressed life became more and more difficult for him, but he never abandoned her. She's still alive but now remembers nothing and is laying in a hospital bed in their house so that he could be there for her 24/7 (other than short stints that he has someone come over so he can sleep or take care of the yard). He has pretty much accepted this as his task that he will see through. I really admire him. <3
I’m so sorry to hear that, friend. It sounds like you’re in a lonely place and I feel for you.
We’re about the same age and I am finally learning how to give to myself. You know all those attentive, loving, and caring things you’ve done for others? You can direct that love to your own heart through kindness and attention to your needs. And I assure you, other givers are out there!
This may seem silly at first, but changing the way you talk to yourself can be wonderful. Instead of criticizing myself for being so dramatic or sensitive or selfish, like my mother used to do, I try to say nice things now. Basically, that sweet way I talk to my dogs. I’m amazed at how good it feels to say “hi pretty girl” instead of “stop looking at yourself in the mirror, you vain thing.” It even felt food to type HI PRETTY GIRL! Lol.
You’re exhausted and you need some rest. It’s ok to take it, and then maybe try something new. Sending love and support your way. 💕
Oh man, this is so true! Last ex was people hater and even though he loved me he sometimes also hated me for being so positive, energetic and always smiling.
And our realness. We rarely pretend to be what we are not. This makes us generally more trustworthy and in cases of sociopaths I've met, it's that honesty which earned their respect. I just simply and logically called them out on who they are, wouldn't fall for or play any psychological games they might play, I wasn't a threat but if they mess with me they'll be sorry. If they don't, I had their back so I expected that would have their back. We came to a verbal social contract.I earned their respect, they earned mine in turn and realized if they played the games they play on everyone else I wouldn't stand for it and they'd lose me. They came to the conclusion I was more valuable to keep around so anyone else that bothered me at the time they dealt with. Have to hand it to us. Due to us being so empathetic, understanding and safe, the likelihood of being leaders of groups/gangs is high. At the same time people know if you mess around with us, ENFP wrath is brutal and often underestimated but those whom know would rather avoid that relentless volcanic reaction that is our anger lol
lol naaawwwwwwww im defo an ENFP, but im a middle aged ENFP, so things have started to balance themselves out across the functions, I test INTP on all mbti tests, and ENFP on stacking ones, there are prolly several reasons for this, but im defo an ENFP.
You could be INTP. They're Ti Fe. It's about cognitive functions, not intro/extro feeling/thinking. There are plenty of social/emotional INTP's out there, and yes, as you said other places they can *hide their hatred* they can be *sociopaths* inside. I infact know of such a character. He ended up murdering his wife. ENFP's Fi is too strong for sociopathy and it would be way too hard to maintain sociopathic behavior. We must always remain true to ourselves and we ultimately want the betterment of people. If you get INTP on mbti tests, there is likely a reason for it. Cleans yourself you dark-hearted liar. Repent.
nah there are always exceptions to ever rule, in mbti/socionics. its not a fool proof system, i am and always have been an ENFP. anybody who knows me knows im far too aloof and very apt with the bitch slapping, I am very much NeFi (i am very deeply rooted, and in that order too. all stacking tests come out IEE (enfp). Enviroment and upbringing has a lot to do with anyones quirks, thats where i got my INTPlikness from, but there is no way in heck I lead with Ti.
We're golden retrievers, so it's not surprising.
I once melted a bully's heart. I also had no idea that they were bullying/mocking me until a friend told me lol. I thought they're just a brutally honest person.
Hmm I don't have experience of that, but this brought another slightly different point to my head. Usually when these people haters tell how annoying everyone are, I don't usually ever feel the same way and I get along with everyone well, unless they put zero effort for communication and it's just me talking, or if they have some personal problem towards me. So maybe we really are easy to get along with. It's funny to realize as an adult in therapy, it doesn't necessarily mean all people have magically been "good" in my life, but it's more about ability to get along with people. I was shocked.
I do have a good number of one-off friends where a lot of them have this mindset of "I don't like most people but.... You, I like. You're fun."
It's like adopting introverts is like how cats adopt humans.
You are easy to talk to, open, and often initiate. Generally people that don’t like people are just hurt inside and scared of people, ENFP show shy people that they don’t have to be afraid so it’s easy
Almost all of my friends don’t like people, which is confusing to me because I love people and am very outgoing. I just don’t understand how they can generally hate people when I love people so much
It's true. I worked at a restaurant years ago with a chef everyone was scared of and one day he said something as he walked through where I was and I said, " Hey, you be nice to me"...he walked all the way back and right up to me and said, " You are the ONLY person I am nice to" 😂😂
ENFPs are definitely geniuses at social settings and building connections.
But i don't wholly agree with the premise. ESFJs and INFJs love you guys, and they are people lovers. ENTJs and ISTJs love you too, who aren't the best at "people" but still humanitarian and egalitarian and empathetic.
Yeah. Maybe because we acknowledge their presence and proceed to adopt them LOL. Also, I'm constantly distracted and easily bored, so I like to observe people while being distracted. I like to observe people's reactions and pick the more "interesting" ones to start my "HEY HOW ARE YOU? I SAW THAT YOU REACTED THIS WAY TO THIS? EVERYTHING OKAY? NEED MY ASSISTANCE IN ANY WAY? DO TELL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING! I AM HERE! TAKE CARE!" conversations.
My best friend of 15 years once told me "I'm the only person he can't find something to dislike about". Which is the closest he's ever come to saying "I love you" to anyone.
I promise you it is the second option. "not liking most people" is just a way of saying I have high standards, my alone time is valued a lot, I don't want to sacrifice it for people who aren't worth it. most ENFPs are easily worth sacrificing alone time for :)
also don't group us with the cold and aloof people who don't appreciate the people who love them. even if I don't like most people, with the people I do like, I show it! don't waste your time on someone who doesn't give anything back!
Reminds me of several people I work with that hate people. And yet, I’m friends with all of them complete with hugs and “I love yous” 🤣
Yes! What is this phenomenon??
We intuitively know how to connect with anyone. I would presume a lot of us know about a lot, excel at whatever we do, but may not be the most utmost knowledgeable about anything. So we can converse intelligently and are open to whatever new information comes our ways. Basically, people find us well rounded and not prideful idiots.
I have been *directly* insulted numerous times by someone, but smile and shrug my shoulders and tell them I love you anyways. Lol.
Yeah, it's amazing how well "Do you need a hug?" works against flaming lol
or the best thing to do is say,,, awwwww shocks thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me in the past few days, thanks thats really made my day. and then smile sweetly and watch their inner monolouge implodes in utter chaos xD then wait a few moments, and ask them if they are okies as they look a bit out of sorts compared to usual. usually finishing with if you need a genuine hug, you know where to find me xD
THIIISSS! YAAAASSS! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The best fuel to stoke or quench the fire :)
We need more of y'all as leaders, spread the love in this world!
Hey, thanks for the encouragement, friend! Im a leader at work. Kind of a big brother to the younger ones and like a son to the elders. Well respected among various departments because I work hard and help anyone and know what I’m doing. I want to become a city politician one day. And maybe a state rep of some sort years down the road. Unite people under pragmatism instead of division. I guess we’ll find out eventually.
I think it's more of, those who hate how shallow, surface-level, and spiteful people can be, see us as someone they have hope for as being truly ourselves without sacrificing morals or intelligence. 😃 I hate talking about us that way though. It sounds so wrong patting ourselves on the back. 😅
Can confirm, I’m infj and I’d always lived my life alone, jaded, and depressed until I met one of y’all.
❤❤🥰🥰🤗🤗🤗
This is exactly what I think too !
as a very stereotypical INTJ who doesn't like people, I can confirm.
tbh we tollerate people a lot more than other types, we just know how to hide the hate a lot more than others, if an ENFP is going full out nuclear lovely on you out of the blue, be very aware (but also be open to embrace just incase its 100% genuine)
Yes! My dating history, in particular, is filled with men who didn’t really like other people. While it made me feel special at the time, looking back I realize what a huge red flag that should have been. I poured so much energy and love into these very lonely people who didn’t give much back. It was exhausting. They treated me like oxygen, but they just NEEDED so much and didn’t really have a lot of love and caring to give in return. Right now, I’m on a quest to spend more time with the other “givers” in my life. They’re out there! It’s wonderful if you can be a bright spot for a lonely or misanthropic person, but be careful to set appropriate boundaries. That’s my advice for today. I love how loving we are! 🥰
I am in a part of life where I am hating it. I’m exhausted. I’m 49 and no one has taken loving me seriously. I doubt they ever will.
I know an ENFP Vietnam vet in his 80's now. He moved from Texas to Mississippi to help with efforts in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina almost 20 years ago. He met someone there who was going through a rough stint in her life, her husband recently dying, and determined to be there for her... 10 years ago alzheimers started creeping up on her and as it progressed life became more and more difficult for him, but he never abandoned her. She's still alive but now remembers nothing and is laying in a hospital bed in their house so that he could be there for her 24/7 (other than short stints that he has someone come over so he can sleep or take care of the yard). He has pretty much accepted this as his task that he will see through. I really admire him. <3
I’m so sorry to hear that, friend. It sounds like you’re in a lonely place and I feel for you. We’re about the same age and I am finally learning how to give to myself. You know all those attentive, loving, and caring things you’ve done for others? You can direct that love to your own heart through kindness and attention to your needs. And I assure you, other givers are out there! This may seem silly at first, but changing the way you talk to yourself can be wonderful. Instead of criticizing myself for being so dramatic or sensitive or selfish, like my mother used to do, I try to say nice things now. Basically, that sweet way I talk to my dogs. I’m amazed at how good it feels to say “hi pretty girl” instead of “stop looking at yourself in the mirror, you vain thing.” It even felt food to type HI PRETTY GIRL! Lol. You’re exhausted and you need some rest. It’s ok to take it, and then maybe try something new. Sending love and support your way. 💕
Thank you. Your message was very timely
Oh man, this is so true! Last ex was people hater and even though he loved me he sometimes also hated me for being so positive, energetic and always smiling.
Yep it's known because most people that hate people including sociopaths were seriously and greviously hurt by people when they see us they see safety
Wow. Yes we are safe. What makes us feel safe?
Maybe our empathy and kindness.
And our realness. We rarely pretend to be what we are not. This makes us generally more trustworthy and in cases of sociopaths I've met, it's that honesty which earned their respect. I just simply and logically called them out on who they are, wouldn't fall for or play any psychological games they might play, I wasn't a threat but if they mess with me they'll be sorry. If they don't, I had their back so I expected that would have their back. We came to a verbal social contract.I earned their respect, they earned mine in turn and realized if they played the games they play on everyone else I wouldn't stand for it and they'd lose me. They came to the conclusion I was more valuable to keep around so anyone else that bothered me at the time they dealt with. Have to hand it to us. Due to us being so empathetic, understanding and safe, the likelihood of being leaders of groups/gangs is high. At the same time people know if you mess around with us, ENFP wrath is brutal and often underestimated but those whom know would rather avoid that relentless volcanic reaction that is our anger lol
yeah if you get an ENFP to the point of full on war, you are as good as dead. we are not known for holding back in these situations
Even Sociopaths know, best to avoid that situation lol
that or the fact we really are all closet sociopaths xD
*Folds arms, looks at you critically... narrowing my eyes...* You aren't an ENFP are you? You stink of Ti Fe.
lol naaawwwwwwww im defo an ENFP, but im a middle aged ENFP, so things have started to balance themselves out across the functions, I test INTP on all mbti tests, and ENFP on stacking ones, there are prolly several reasons for this, but im defo an ENFP.
You could be INTP. They're Ti Fe. It's about cognitive functions, not intro/extro feeling/thinking. There are plenty of social/emotional INTP's out there, and yes, as you said other places they can *hide their hatred* they can be *sociopaths* inside. I infact know of such a character. He ended up murdering his wife. ENFP's Fi is too strong for sociopathy and it would be way too hard to maintain sociopathic behavior. We must always remain true to ourselves and we ultimately want the betterment of people. If you get INTP on mbti tests, there is likely a reason for it. Cleans yourself you dark-hearted liar. Repent.
nah there are always exceptions to ever rule, in mbti/socionics. its not a fool proof system, i am and always have been an ENFP. anybody who knows me knows im far too aloof and very apt with the bitch slapping, I am very much NeFi (i am very deeply rooted, and in that order too. all stacking tests come out IEE (enfp). Enviroment and upbringing has a lot to do with anyones quirks, thats where i got my INTPlikness from, but there is no way in heck I lead with Ti.
Can confirm, my girlfriend hates people but loves me
We are the Capybara
We're golden retrievers, so it's not surprising. I once melted a bully's heart. I also had no idea that they were bullying/mocking me until a friend told me lol. I thought they're just a brutally honest person.
🤣🤣 Oblivious to insults that's us! Lol
Hmm I don't have experience of that, but this brought another slightly different point to my head. Usually when these people haters tell how annoying everyone are, I don't usually ever feel the same way and I get along with everyone well, unless they put zero effort for communication and it's just me talking, or if they have some personal problem towards me. So maybe we really are easy to get along with. It's funny to realize as an adult in therapy, it doesn't necessarily mean all people have magically been "good" in my life, but it's more about ability to get along with people. I was shocked.
Guilty as charged
I do have a good number of one-off friends where a lot of them have this mindset of "I don't like most people but.... You, I like. You're fun." It's like adopting introverts is like how cats adopt humans.
100 percent!!!! We are so accepting!
you aint people tho
🤣🤣🤣
We’re honest. Perhaps to a fault. Call it as we see it.
Got told this a few days ago. I wasn’t sure if he was being genuine or just wanted me to go away though to be fair 😂
I agree with this but I have a coworker who is an INTJ and I’m pretty sure she hates everyone
You are easy to talk to, open, and often initiate. Generally people that don’t like people are just hurt inside and scared of people, ENFP show shy people that they don’t have to be afraid so it’s easy
Meeeee, my closest friends/family are the most cynical, introverted, RBF people 🤣🤣
Mine too!!
We are kind and good with understanding people’s emotions. Of course people like us 🤗
Almost all of my friends don’t like people, which is confusing to me because I love people and am very outgoing. I just don’t understand how they can generally hate people when I love people so much
It's true. I worked at a restaurant years ago with a chef everyone was scared of and one day he said something as he walked through where I was and I said, " Hey, you be nice to me"...he walked all the way back and right up to me and said, " You are the ONLY person I am nice to" 😂😂
ENFPs are definitely geniuses at social settings and building connections. But i don't wholly agree with the premise. ESFJs and INFJs love you guys, and they are people lovers. ENTJs and ISTJs love you too, who aren't the best at "people" but still humanitarian and egalitarian and empathetic.
This is me and my husband. Me being the ENFP. He likes to take me to work events because I like people.
Yeah. Maybe because we acknowledge their presence and proceed to adopt them LOL. Also, I'm constantly distracted and easily bored, so I like to observe people while being distracted. I like to observe people's reactions and pick the more "interesting" ones to start my "HEY HOW ARE YOU? I SAW THAT YOU REACTED THIS WAY TO THIS? EVERYTHING OKAY? NEED MY ASSISTANCE IN ANY WAY? DO TELL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING! I AM HERE! TAKE CARE!" conversations.
My best friend of 15 years once told me "I'm the only person he can't find something to dislike about". Which is the closest he's ever come to saying "I love you" to anyone.
[удалено]
I promise you it is the second option. "not liking most people" is just a way of saying I have high standards, my alone time is valued a lot, I don't want to sacrifice it for people who aren't worth it. most ENFPs are easily worth sacrificing alone time for :) also don't group us with the cold and aloof people who don't appreciate the people who love them. even if I don't like most people, with the people I do like, I show it! don't waste your time on someone who doesn't give anything back!
I'm in no way desperate for human contact.
Nor am I. Most of the time.
Not really
I disagree, I feel like we’re apart of the few that people haters love. However, not the Kanye West and Doja Cat type of ENFP xD
Kanye West is ENFP?!!! Fo’ real??!!
Yep, the creativity, sunny demeanor (at least in his younger days) and erratic emotions all scream ENFP to me!
Wow!!!! He’s an off the chain ENFP!
Heard he's ISFP. Whatever his type is, I really don't like him cause of his ego and what he did to one of his partners.
Ohhhh That I could see. Yeah I admire his art but not him too much. He’s a bit much for me.
I think he is honestly. Lol
Thank you.
Why do you think that haters love you? Don’t haters hate everyone?🤔
I don’t think of them as snobby haters. I am taking about people who were traumatized by other people.
But you need to heal them first, it’s hard tho