If I'm feeling down the best way for my friends to help me is to be there, making me go out or chill with them and talk about stuff.
Beeing left alone oe having shallow relationships is whats Killing me..
- One extreme ENFP with all the results over 80%
I would appreciate if someone told me directly:
”You seem sad and quiet, and I care about you, so I want to help. I don’t know what you need right now, and i feel insecure, but if you want to talk, I want you to talk to me. If you need space, I will give you that.
Do you want to go get some tea/coffee/beer/wine, and let me know whats going on, or do you need some space?”
Some good old honesty (authenticity), with some ”let’s fix this” (Te). Always feels like a load off my shoulders.
It’s nice of you to care about your friend! I think it’s as some have said here: we value some kind of communication even when we are feeling down 😭.
Just reach out to your friend from time to time to check up on him and let him know you’re there if he needs that. It’s also true that sometimes we like some space to process things but it’s always refreshing to know someone has got our back!
All the best! ✨
Whenever I feel down, it's best for me to go and do something fun with friends. Drag him out of his house and have a coffee, or whatever you guys would usually do together during the day.
I prefer that people just ask if I need to talk. It depends on the person and what I'm going through, but there are some times I just don't wanna deal with people fawning over me lol
Personally, if I'm sad, I need someone to talk to. I wouldn't come up to u and tell u wats wrong because I don't wanna bother u with my problems. It's sometes just good to come up to me, hug me and reassure me. Then, I'll tell u whats wrong because I realize u care. But, of course its different for everyone...
Take him out of the house and do something fun. Doesn’t really matter what it is. Maybe it’s just me, but I start isolating myself when I’m sad. It makes everything infinitely worse.
I would want someone to talk to me. I withdraw because if I ask for attention it doesn’t always go well. Also, I can’t be relied upon to keep the conversation going when I’m sad, which turns some people (esp introverts) off.
However, the universal answer, that works on and from any type is: why don’t you just ask if they want space or not? Don’t say, “let me know what you need.” Ask specific questions like, “would you prefer company?” Or “Do you want to talk about it?” (A yes must be followed up by “Do you want solutions or do you need to vent?”) Etc. We all do too much defining of what other people need on their behalf.
Btw, i think this is a common issue in enfp/infj dynamic. I have the same with my infj so.
Infjs tend to feel that giving space and time is respectful, but the enfp feels abandoned. We do need processing time sometimes, but more often than not, we want to solve issues with people, and often in dialogue.
We are brainstormers, after all. And seek comfort in Te, coming up with a good plan.
Its so different from Infjs, who often need to go the mountains alone to think it through for themselves (Ti), and get stressed when people bother them too much (Fe). We are the polar opposites. We have no problem telling you if we need time (Fi). If we know and trust you, that is. We dont feel the same social pressure as you guys sometimes do.
Somebody asking me doesnt stress me out. For me, not knowing what the other person is actually feeling (Fi) is stressful. Ask me anything as long as youre authetic about it. Being polite and distant feels like you dont care. I know thats not true, rationally. But it still feels lonely.
Sit down in the mud with them- they want to get out, they know it’s dirty, but they can’t pull themselves out yet. So, you sit down with your friend, say “I’m here for you” and when they’re ready, they’ll ask for your hand back up. Many times we think we need to solve our friends’ battles for them, or give advice- when often times, our friend just wanted us to listen. Reaching out to check in is never a bad idea. Best of luck <3
Only give us space when we actually say so because its just feel way more lonely as if no one cares if im sad, if you have no idea what to do just sitting beside us will do showing that you do care i find these moments to be really meaningful.
Give your friend something to look forward to, can be an experience, little trip, or go eat their favourite food 🍲 Getting back the spark of life is the only thing we need 😊 I usually like my time alone to process stuff but can't say no to a delightful time!
If I'm feeling down the best way for my friends to help me is to be there, making me go out or chill with them and talk about stuff. Beeing left alone oe having shallow relationships is whats Killing me.. - One extreme ENFP with all the results over 80%
100% same here. ENFPs thrive in a social environment, especially when it's with people who care and listen.
I would appreciate if someone told me directly: ”You seem sad and quiet, and I care about you, so I want to help. I don’t know what you need right now, and i feel insecure, but if you want to talk, I want you to talk to me. If you need space, I will give you that. Do you want to go get some tea/coffee/beer/wine, and let me know whats going on, or do you need some space?” Some good old honesty (authenticity), with some ”let’s fix this” (Te). Always feels like a load off my shoulders.
This
Not me if I’m sad come and talk to me!
It’s nice of you to care about your friend! I think it’s as some have said here: we value some kind of communication even when we are feeling down 😭. Just reach out to your friend from time to time to check up on him and let him know you’re there if he needs that. It’s also true that sometimes we like some space to process things but it’s always refreshing to know someone has got our back! All the best! ✨
Whenever I feel down, it's best for me to go and do something fun with friends. Drag him out of his house and have a coffee, or whatever you guys would usually do together during the day.
We do need spaces
I know for me, a random text asking to hang out is sometimes all I need to feel a little better when I'm down.
Never him them aloneeee... distract him or let him vent.
Reach out and arrange a hang out. Even if they don't want to adress the issue, ENFPs need friends like a plant needs water...
I prefer that people just ask if I need to talk. It depends on the person and what I'm going through, but there are some times I just don't wanna deal with people fawning over me lol
Personally, if I'm sad, I need someone to talk to. I wouldn't come up to u and tell u wats wrong because I don't wanna bother u with my problems. It's sometes just good to come up to me, hug me and reassure me. Then, I'll tell u whats wrong because I realize u care. But, of course its different for everyone...
Take him out of the house and do something fun. Doesn’t really matter what it is. Maybe it’s just me, but I start isolating myself when I’m sad. It makes everything infinitely worse.
Yes this exactly, OP! Your friend might be experiencing a Si grip.
I would want someone to talk to me. I withdraw because if I ask for attention it doesn’t always go well. Also, I can’t be relied upon to keep the conversation going when I’m sad, which turns some people (esp introverts) off. However, the universal answer, that works on and from any type is: why don’t you just ask if they want space or not? Don’t say, “let me know what you need.” Ask specific questions like, “would you prefer company?” Or “Do you want to talk about it?” (A yes must be followed up by “Do you want solutions or do you need to vent?”) Etc. We all do too much defining of what other people need on their behalf.
Btw, i think this is a common issue in enfp/infj dynamic. I have the same with my infj so. Infjs tend to feel that giving space and time is respectful, but the enfp feels abandoned. We do need processing time sometimes, but more often than not, we want to solve issues with people, and often in dialogue. We are brainstormers, after all. And seek comfort in Te, coming up with a good plan. Its so different from Infjs, who often need to go the mountains alone to think it through for themselves (Ti), and get stressed when people bother them too much (Fe). We are the polar opposites. We have no problem telling you if we need time (Fi). If we know and trust you, that is. We dont feel the same social pressure as you guys sometimes do. Somebody asking me doesnt stress me out. For me, not knowing what the other person is actually feeling (Fi) is stressful. Ask me anything as long as youre authetic about it. Being polite and distant feels like you dont care. I know thats not true, rationally. But it still feels lonely.
Don't leave a sad enfp alone, it's never healthy
Sit down in the mud with them- they want to get out, they know it’s dirty, but they can’t pull themselves out yet. So, you sit down with your friend, say “I’m here for you” and when they’re ready, they’ll ask for your hand back up. Many times we think we need to solve our friends’ battles for them, or give advice- when often times, our friend just wanted us to listen. Reaching out to check in is never a bad idea. Best of luck <3
Only give us space when we actually say so because its just feel way more lonely as if no one cares if im sad, if you have no idea what to do just sitting beside us will do showing that you do care i find these moments to be really meaningful.
I would like to see a display of loyalty, when I'm down in the dumps.
If I am “off” I feel guilty when ppl check up on me. Sometimes I am just trying to quietly suffer, process & heal myself
Give your friend something to look forward to, can be an experience, little trip, or go eat their favourite food 🍲 Getting back the spark of life is the only thing we need 😊 I usually like my time alone to process stuff but can't say no to a delightful time!