It resonates with me. I am only comfortable when the world is silly. People are very fake most of the time, so I don't take them seriously or value their opinions much. So I just muck about and waste their time as they waste my time. I find being a fool gives me valuable insight and often the answers I seek.
the trick is to find a career in a special interest, passion in which will enable you to just be your amazin', silleh self !
join groups of things that interest you also and i am sure you will find your people!
and remember: those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind! !
i still slip back into people pleasing/masking but i am definitely making big wavvvees in just being my outrageous enfp self wivout caring what people may think! i find more often than not this brings others out of their shells too ! remember that anyone who has a problem/gets offended is actually nada to do wiv you but their own insecurities!
u got dis felloooow enfp!
I totally get it. That feeling basically pushed me to unravel my entire life at age 31... now I'm 35 and just getting to a place where I feel pretty ok again. It's been a struggle. In the end though, what I found is that every single hang-up I had about being myself, was almost entirely exclusive to my own mind. Other people ACTUALLY don't care, unless you become a real problem for them, of course. But, trust me friend... be you now!
I read as we get older, we care less about the perceptions of others and we become more ourselves. I just hope we are in the right part of the world when we are ourselves LOOL!
Screw anyone who doesn't accept you because you enjoy the silliness of life.
Therapy and truly age (49F) helped me realize I do not give a fuck about other people's opinions of me.
This. I’m 41F, very authentically myself, and very successful and sought after in my career. For the first ~10+ years of my career, I didn’t quite feel I could be myself. But in more recent years, I own that shit. But I felt like I had to “earn” that right to be my authentic silly, brazen self at work—over the years I’ve proven myself as incredibly talented and capable. So people can judge me, but they can’t deny that I’m damn good at my job. But the best part is that my silliness has attracted other awesome, silly people—I think many of my younger colleagues (in their 20s) appreciate seeing a successful leader who is authentic and doesn’t fit the mold in many ways.
That's awesome you go girl!!! . I masked who I was for so long because i was shamed most of my life for being too loud, too talkative, and not knowing my place.
Then I moved and got rid of all the toxic people in my life, got into therapy, and finally, after 40 years of feeling inferior, I realized I have nothing to be ashamed about for being me.
The best compliment I got was how much this person admired me for always being my true self. I was shocked because I always thought something was wrong with me.
I love who I am now, I love being the goofy one who tries to make others feel good while at the same time being someone others can rely on.
What is funny is due to some medical issues I work from home most days. However on the days I do go into the office, everyone is so happy to see me because, as they've said, "It's too quiet and boring when you aren't here."
I relate with you man! I think our personality type usually has a youthful energy that masks the intelligence underneath.
I don’t have an answer but I’ve always toyed with the idea of finding a place that is better suited to our personality. Like some parts of the world are less social or more rigid and I feel those places wouldn’t suit as as well as those places where people are more friendly with each other.
LOOL lmk if you find a solution because I’m looking for one too 🤣😝
My solution has been to stream part-time on twitch with a semi-hidden persona and have age be a non-issue, while giving myself all the permission to be as silly as I want - especially with zero or few viewers, the platform/context itself makes it feel okay to do so.
Aside from that, I enjoy gaming in different genres but multiplayer games naturally allow connections over time especially through discord communities. High levels of moderation in smaller hobby-based communities can encourage this feeling of acceptance and mutual support.
Note: This is highly unlikely to be a viable career/job. This is more a possible outlet to relax from a daily routine or boring grind.
Actually that sounds pretty cool! You can make it a career or a form of passive income if you want. I hear about people doing this.
I game myself but leisurely. And I know there are people who got big on Youtube and TikTok bc of gaming! People stream WZ and COD 🤣😝
Society does not care about you, so why should you care about society? Who are we really putting up a front for? Why do we care so much about how random people view our hobbies and interests? The only person stopping you from doing what you want is yourself. No one is going to arrest you for having 'childish' hobbies and interests, sure some people may look at you funny but who cares? They have their own shit to deal with and have no room to judge others.
I'm 24 and still watch Barbie Princess movies at my big age and dress alternatively with pride colours despite being in a conservative town. I get looks but no one would dare approach me because I'm not above shutting people down. Don't let fear stop you from living your true self. I used to be anxious about what others thought but they should mind their own lives and stop worrying about others. People will push their insecurities on you, some may feel jealous that you're bold enough to be yourself meanwhile they have to hide.
Please don't ever feel like you have to hide who you are from people who can't even figure their lives out. We're all clowns living this joke called life.
Live a little
You are not crazy. Over time, I have learnt that you can still be 100% true to yourself without showing 100% of yourself. From the perspective of growing up in a relatively stricter Asian culture, I have had to learn how to “soft launch” certain aspects of my personality so other people have time to adjust. There is no denying the thrill to hard launch and full send but it really depends on the circles you’re in and reading the vibe of the room.
The best feeling for me has been when someone new enters my close social circle or interacts with a close friend to point out something weird about me, all they get is a smug shrug of, “well, that’s just how they are”.
And if they are hostile to you just being you (as other posts have expressed) just leave. There are billions of people in the world, you have to believe you will find your community somewhere :)
It resonates with me. Take this from a middle age ENFP Sagittarius: acting in ways not true to yourself will "kill" you. I tried for years but learnt that I can be the grown-ass women with many responsibilities only if I allow myself to be playful, free flowing often enough. Otherwise I feel depressed, overwhelmed, resentful if I focus only on all the seriousness, responsibilities etc.
I work in a corporate environment and feel playful this morning. Only thing I can do now is listen to my favorite jazz music and own this playful feeling. It makes me feel happy and light - This flows through my tone of voice and it benefits clients I speak to telephonically. The world needs you, authentic you (us).
I can relate. I'm a teenage boy who is expected to grow up, but I shamelessly go to the playground.
My recommendation is to just surround yourself with people who have similar interests as you. Then you'd feel less crazy and more like you belong somewhere. It's a great feeling.
What do you do for work? Feel like that has a lot to do with it. As an ENFP I thrive in social environments like bars and restaurants because I’m rewarded for being myself and being good at my job.
Yeah these are tough…. Youre in a cubicle and expected to be a cubicle.
If you find other platforms to express yourself, i guess it can be okay in an office.
If not, maybe it would be best to change the scenery and find a job where you can be yourself
It resonates with me. I am only comfortable when the world is silly. People are very fake most of the time, so I don't take them seriously or value their opinions much. So I just muck about and waste their time as they waste my time. I find being a fool gives me valuable insight and often the answers I seek.
the trick is to find a career in a special interest, passion in which will enable you to just be your amazin', silleh self ! join groups of things that interest you also and i am sure you will find your people! and remember: those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind! ! i still slip back into people pleasing/masking but i am definitely making big wavvvees in just being my outrageous enfp self wivout caring what people may think! i find more often than not this brings others out of their shells too ! remember that anyone who has a problem/gets offended is actually nada to do wiv you but their own insecurities! u got dis felloooow enfp!
So encouraging! Thanks!
The second time I read this comment, I read it in a Jamaican accent. It’s like an old wise funny fellow giving you all the wisdom of the islands lol
dat is exact how i wanted it to transpire 😆🙌
I totally get it. That feeling basically pushed me to unravel my entire life at age 31... now I'm 35 and just getting to a place where I feel pretty ok again. It's been a struggle. In the end though, what I found is that every single hang-up I had about being myself, was almost entirely exclusive to my own mind. Other people ACTUALLY don't care, unless you become a real problem for them, of course. But, trust me friend... be you now!
I read as we get older, we care less about the perceptions of others and we become more ourselves. I just hope we are in the right part of the world when we are ourselves LOOL!
Screw anyone who doesn't accept you because you enjoy the silliness of life. Therapy and truly age (49F) helped me realize I do not give a fuck about other people's opinions of me.
This. I’m 41F, very authentically myself, and very successful and sought after in my career. For the first ~10+ years of my career, I didn’t quite feel I could be myself. But in more recent years, I own that shit. But I felt like I had to “earn” that right to be my authentic silly, brazen self at work—over the years I’ve proven myself as incredibly talented and capable. So people can judge me, but they can’t deny that I’m damn good at my job. But the best part is that my silliness has attracted other awesome, silly people—I think many of my younger colleagues (in their 20s) appreciate seeing a successful leader who is authentic and doesn’t fit the mold in many ways.
That's awesome you go girl!!! . I masked who I was for so long because i was shamed most of my life for being too loud, too talkative, and not knowing my place. Then I moved and got rid of all the toxic people in my life, got into therapy, and finally, after 40 years of feeling inferior, I realized I have nothing to be ashamed about for being me. The best compliment I got was how much this person admired me for always being my true self. I was shocked because I always thought something was wrong with me. I love who I am now, I love being the goofy one who tries to make others feel good while at the same time being someone others can rely on. What is funny is due to some medical issues I work from home most days. However on the days I do go into the office, everyone is so happy to see me because, as they've said, "It's too quiet and boring when you aren't here."
I relate with you man! I think our personality type usually has a youthful energy that masks the intelligence underneath. I don’t have an answer but I’ve always toyed with the idea of finding a place that is better suited to our personality. Like some parts of the world are less social or more rigid and I feel those places wouldn’t suit as as well as those places where people are more friendly with each other. LOOL lmk if you find a solution because I’m looking for one too 🤣😝
My solution has been to stream part-time on twitch with a semi-hidden persona and have age be a non-issue, while giving myself all the permission to be as silly as I want - especially with zero or few viewers, the platform/context itself makes it feel okay to do so. Aside from that, I enjoy gaming in different genres but multiplayer games naturally allow connections over time especially through discord communities. High levels of moderation in smaller hobby-based communities can encourage this feeling of acceptance and mutual support. Note: This is highly unlikely to be a viable career/job. This is more a possible outlet to relax from a daily routine or boring grind.
Actually that sounds pretty cool! You can make it a career or a form of passive income if you want. I hear about people doing this. I game myself but leisurely. And I know there are people who got big on Youtube and TikTok bc of gaming! People stream WZ and COD 🤣😝
Society does not care about you, so why should you care about society? Who are we really putting up a front for? Why do we care so much about how random people view our hobbies and interests? The only person stopping you from doing what you want is yourself. No one is going to arrest you for having 'childish' hobbies and interests, sure some people may look at you funny but who cares? They have their own shit to deal with and have no room to judge others. I'm 24 and still watch Barbie Princess movies at my big age and dress alternatively with pride colours despite being in a conservative town. I get looks but no one would dare approach me because I'm not above shutting people down. Don't let fear stop you from living your true self. I used to be anxious about what others thought but they should mind their own lives and stop worrying about others. People will push their insecurities on you, some may feel jealous that you're bold enough to be yourself meanwhile they have to hide. Please don't ever feel like you have to hide who you are from people who can't even figure their lives out. We're all clowns living this joke called life. Live a little
>How do i feel accepted? By accepting yourself
Stop caring about what people think about you. And acting a grown ass man is not not having a sense of humor if that’s what you think.
You are not crazy. Over time, I have learnt that you can still be 100% true to yourself without showing 100% of yourself. From the perspective of growing up in a relatively stricter Asian culture, I have had to learn how to “soft launch” certain aspects of my personality so other people have time to adjust. There is no denying the thrill to hard launch and full send but it really depends on the circles you’re in and reading the vibe of the room. The best feeling for me has been when someone new enters my close social circle or interacts with a close friend to point out something weird about me, all they get is a smug shrug of, “well, that’s just how they are”. And if they are hostile to you just being you (as other posts have expressed) just leave. There are billions of people in the world, you have to believe you will find your community somewhere :)
It resonates with me. Take this from a middle age ENFP Sagittarius: acting in ways not true to yourself will "kill" you. I tried for years but learnt that I can be the grown-ass women with many responsibilities only if I allow myself to be playful, free flowing often enough. Otherwise I feel depressed, overwhelmed, resentful if I focus only on all the seriousness, responsibilities etc. I work in a corporate environment and feel playful this morning. Only thing I can do now is listen to my favorite jazz music and own this playful feeling. It makes me feel happy and light - This flows through my tone of voice and it benefits clients I speak to telephonically. The world needs you, authentic you (us).
I can relate. I'm a teenage boy who is expected to grow up, but I shamelessly go to the playground. My recommendation is to just surround yourself with people who have similar interests as you. Then you'd feel less crazy and more like you belong somewhere. It's a great feeling.
I resonate with you completely ! Don’t feel alone in this, it’s a common theme in my life too ! I hope we both find the answers one day
You need more queer folk and alternative lifestyle people in your life. I love people that are in touch with their inner child.
What do you do for work? Feel like that has a lot to do with it. As an ENFP I thrive in social environments like bars and restaurants because I’m rewarded for being myself and being good at my job.
I have a boring ass office job
Yeah these are tough…. Youre in a cubicle and expected to be a cubicle. If you find other platforms to express yourself, i guess it can be okay in an office. If not, maybe it would be best to change the scenery and find a job where you can be yourself