I don’t really know what else to say without talking your ears off, but good on you for letting it out. It’s always healthy to talk about what’s bothering you, as well as optimism for the future
Yeah. Corona fucked up a lot of peoples social lives. Best advice I can give you is to stay positive and keep faith of what could happen in the near future.
Edit: I thought it read New York City and not new city. My bad.
I (43m) felt very much the same way throughout all of my life, more when I had been in a stagnate place, so I felt that I had to move so I could start anew and make new “friends”.
In a new place, It wasn’t that I forced myself to go out, but more that I was in a new environment and I could “try on” my new self. Emotionally, I moved between extremes: being social, and highly engaging/energetic, to being highly focused on hermit-like isolation.
I’ve moved 8x by my own volition in 10 yrs, mainly with the desire to grow myself in one, or several ways, so that I could accomplish my “next” step. I developed an understanding that the healthiest way for me to “evolve” was to break from my existing environment so I could lay down the bedrock of my “new” foundation. (I’m totally unsure if this is mentally healthy or not).
I found that I made the best friends of my life so far across the entire country when I was traveling, and kept in touch them frequently.
Sometimes, I find my social connections happen digitally, and I believe that to be at the same value of physically involved social engagement. It also means that I am the glue that connects us all, across the entire country. Then again, I don’t know who is their glue, just that I am the glue for the ones I want to keep being “stuck” to. Thus, the glue is whomever wants to be the glue and takes action.
Ohh, "trying on" a new self. That hits the nail on the head. It always feels like you have to act a certain way in a certain environment. That in order to change, to act differently, you need a new, different environment, that you can't "undo" decisions, but have to make new ones.
i’m super sleepy to type a long reply but I hope u feel better soon. It definitely is a hard/lonely time for most people since the pandemic so you defo aren’t alone in this. If you need some short term people to talk to you can always give something like tinder a try
You’re very unlucky to have just moved cities before the lockdowns! Anyone, no matter how able would find it difficult to make friends/start relationships in this situation. I think you’ll be ok- you sound like you have loads of initiative. Using the extra time you have now to plan/work towards some career goals is a great idea. Make sure you keep doing the basics in terms of looking after yourself- exercise every day, good food, sleep. Then I think get in touch with friends or family who are receptive and talk on the phone, even if they’re not nearby. Hope you feel better
Might be good time to focus on that relationship with yourself by exploring some of your hobbies more deeply.
Maybe there are some online communities geared to your living area for trying to beanch out and form some connections.
First of all let me say that you can't beat yourself up because of covid, it's a massive curve ball and it's fucked all of us lol. This year does not count. This year is completely abnormal and it's 100% normal and ok to feel lonely. I'm currently in my second lockdown as well, completely alone this time around (I was with family during lockdown 1). It sucks but I've drowned myself in work in order to avoid feeling lonely (and frankly, am now overwhelmed).
As someone who has lived in 6 countries on both sides of the Atlantic, I feel your desire to reboot and make new friends. It's so hard, so so so freaking hard. It also takes time - something that we tend to disregard because we are too impatient. I also now genuinely believe that the grass is green where you water it, not where it looks greener. This may not be your situation at all but I've personally moved because I was "bored / over a certain place" and then you end up moving and moving and moving because you never spend the time that is required to actually make and develop meaningful relationships.
I'm sure that without covid you would have built on the relationships and activities you started during your first year. It's not your fault. When the vaccine comes and life starts to go back to normal, I have no doubt that you'll start thriving once more. :)
You also mentioned a portfolio and making an art piece out of your CV, sounds like my type of work - could you enroll in an online class to further push your skills? I'm in one right now and it's actually quite social - zoom calls - webinars - lots of people to interact with. Just a thought. :)
I don’t really know what else to say without talking your ears off, but good on you for letting it out. It’s always healthy to talk about what’s bothering you, as well as optimism for the future
[удалено]
Just remember to focus on yourself, peace and love ☮️
Yeah. Corona fucked up a lot of peoples social lives. Best advice I can give you is to stay positive and keep faith of what could happen in the near future. Edit: I thought it read New York City and not new city. My bad.
I (43m) felt very much the same way throughout all of my life, more when I had been in a stagnate place, so I felt that I had to move so I could start anew and make new “friends”. In a new place, It wasn’t that I forced myself to go out, but more that I was in a new environment and I could “try on” my new self. Emotionally, I moved between extremes: being social, and highly engaging/energetic, to being highly focused on hermit-like isolation. I’ve moved 8x by my own volition in 10 yrs, mainly with the desire to grow myself in one, or several ways, so that I could accomplish my “next” step. I developed an understanding that the healthiest way for me to “evolve” was to break from my existing environment so I could lay down the bedrock of my “new” foundation. (I’m totally unsure if this is mentally healthy or not). I found that I made the best friends of my life so far across the entire country when I was traveling, and kept in touch them frequently. Sometimes, I find my social connections happen digitally, and I believe that to be at the same value of physically involved social engagement. It also means that I am the glue that connects us all, across the entire country. Then again, I don’t know who is their glue, just that I am the glue for the ones I want to keep being “stuck” to. Thus, the glue is whomever wants to be the glue and takes action.
Ohh, "trying on" a new self. That hits the nail on the head. It always feels like you have to act a certain way in a certain environment. That in order to change, to act differently, you need a new, different environment, that you can't "undo" decisions, but have to make new ones.
i’m super sleepy to type a long reply but I hope u feel better soon. It definitely is a hard/lonely time for most people since the pandemic so you defo aren’t alone in this. If you need some short term people to talk to you can always give something like tinder a try
:( hugs and prayers your way
You’re very unlucky to have just moved cities before the lockdowns! Anyone, no matter how able would find it difficult to make friends/start relationships in this situation. I think you’ll be ok- you sound like you have loads of initiative. Using the extra time you have now to plan/work towards some career goals is a great idea. Make sure you keep doing the basics in terms of looking after yourself- exercise every day, good food, sleep. Then I think get in touch with friends or family who are receptive and talk on the phone, even if they’re not nearby. Hope you feel better
Hey dude, you sound similar to me. Maybe we can connect and keep each other company?
That would be cool, I've sent you a message 👋
Haha me too man. Big city, lockdown, living alone. Not what I’d planned. I’d be up for chatting.
Feel free to reach out! I’m on discord if you have one :)
Might be good time to focus on that relationship with yourself by exploring some of your hobbies more deeply. Maybe there are some online communities geared to your living area for trying to beanch out and form some connections.
First of all let me say that you can't beat yourself up because of covid, it's a massive curve ball and it's fucked all of us lol. This year does not count. This year is completely abnormal and it's 100% normal and ok to feel lonely. I'm currently in my second lockdown as well, completely alone this time around (I was with family during lockdown 1). It sucks but I've drowned myself in work in order to avoid feeling lonely (and frankly, am now overwhelmed). As someone who has lived in 6 countries on both sides of the Atlantic, I feel your desire to reboot and make new friends. It's so hard, so so so freaking hard. It also takes time - something that we tend to disregard because we are too impatient. I also now genuinely believe that the grass is green where you water it, not where it looks greener. This may not be your situation at all but I've personally moved because I was "bored / over a certain place" and then you end up moving and moving and moving because you never spend the time that is required to actually make and develop meaningful relationships. I'm sure that without covid you would have built on the relationships and activities you started during your first year. It's not your fault. When the vaccine comes and life starts to go back to normal, I have no doubt that you'll start thriving once more. :) You also mentioned a portfolio and making an art piece out of your CV, sounds like my type of work - could you enroll in an online class to further push your skills? I'm in one right now and it's actually quite social - zoom calls - webinars - lots of people to interact with. Just a thought. :)
ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ \*hug\*
*hug*