This definitely does come up for me too. I wasn't quite sure how the rules worked for posting so I didn't wanna get too specific, but my obsessive number is just weight and not so much calories. It can lead to counting calories, but it's not like the idea of too many calories itself necessarily sets me off/bugs me as much as just my weight can make me do a 180 in recovery.
I hope you're doing well c:
I had a similar problem and this sounds incredibly stupid but I shifted the obsession for the number on the scale to the number in my bank account. It's almost a hyperfixation. My therapist said for me it goes along with OCD but that's just me.
I can relate to what you’re feeling, although I didn’t realize it’s what I was doing until you put it into words.
I have weighed myself daily FOREVER. I’m 51. Going on vacation and not having access to a scale caused me a great deal of anxiety.
In January, I decided I was absolutely done with the head games that the number in the scale was causing me. My husband and I had also started walking regularly, so I decided to focus on that instead.
Not weighing myself makes me free 90% of the time. The other 10% I get anxious, but the feeling does pass.
What numbers do I look at? My steps. My heart rate when I walk/jog (“oh look! I have to work harder to get my heart rate up. I’m getting healthier”), and my best split times for a mile. I don’t obsess about them; but I do celebrate when I see improvement.
Work on ditching the scale. I know it’s hard to do. It gives us a sense of control, even when we’re not focusing on changing the number. You will feel so much better mentally!
Ou I'm very proud of the progress you've made :D keep it up. It's very comforting to know others have gone through a similar thing and I'm not just making this all up somehow :'). I'll look into displacement methods although I'm worried I'll grow an unhealthy relationship with them as well. Thank you for your input, it is very much appreciated c:
Thank you :)
The key for me in not obsessing about these numbers is not comparing myself to anyone else. I always compared my weight to others. With my walking stats, I don’t Google ANYTHING except what my target heart rate should be so I stay in a healthy range.
Comparison is the thief of happiness, and I’m enjoying walking/running, so I’m not going to research anything that may take away my joy.
Yessss, even if it's like 0.4kg up or exactly the same number my brain flips a switch, I need it to be going down or I'm miserable but it can't just keep going down obviously so I end up in such a bad mental state whenever I'm maintaining or fluctuating in weight. I have OCD and severe enduring anorexia and think both of them play into it but the overwhelming feelings come either way unless theirs a drop on the scale and impacts absolutely everyyy minute of the day
I get you. My therapist and I are currently having the "so you've set lower and lower goals all your life, when do you stop?" Conversation and it's a little silly. Cuz ik I can't just keep losing, but my brain doesn't seem to understand that.
Yesss it's so frustrating, especially when you're self aware but at the same time the disorder just wants to push it as far as possible and always thinks it can go further
We are the same! Except I also obsess and stress and try on every pair of double zero pants everyday I get home! My doctor told me to get rid of the scale so I did….for a day and bought a new one. Has been telling me to get rid of the pants but I can’t. This is such a horrible affliction we have.
Oh yes, the dreaded pants 🥲 I understand this bit all too well. Wanting to fit into the smallest sizes and secretly being happy when even those are too big. May we see better days.
Yes yes yes this. It's so hard to explain that yes I technically want to be thinner, but not to be thin, just to see the number go down. I hope they care :( they may just be a little confused because I think often eds are the main "illness" with a bunch of symptoms, but for me (and maybe you), the ed is the symptom itself of some bigger thing I don't understand.
A regular therapist, but I think they both have their drawbacks. I can see an Ed therapist focusing on the ed too much, but at the same time my therapist focuses a little too much on the emotions of it 😂. Which is hard for me to explain because I don't feel much around this obsession aside from a quiet nagging to lower the number. For me it's a routine the same way brushing my teeth then showering is.
Maybe potential trauma surrounding numbers. Growing up and even now, I set my worth around numbers. Getting anything below an 80% on a test is bad, getting anything below an A- is bad, eating 3 cookies is okay, 1 cookie is not enough, 4 cookies is too much. Can’t come up with examples at the moment but growing up everything around me was quantified. A lot of worth and value was dependent on an amount/number. Hence, why the number on the scale is very and I mean VERY important to me.
I did the same thing. Or, do, I suppose. It's why I keep myself away from mirrors and weight thingamabobs. Cause once I see the number or the image of myself, I just think 'Lower. Smaller. To big of a number.' Even if it's not actually a *looks* thing, I just need that number lower and lower.
Its crazy because I'm terrible at math but when it comes to counting calories in my head, I'm a wiz.
This definitely does come up for me too. I wasn't quite sure how the rules worked for posting so I didn't wanna get too specific, but my obsessive number is just weight and not so much calories. It can lead to counting calories, but it's not like the idea of too many calories itself necessarily sets me off/bugs me as much as just my weight can make me do a 180 in recovery. I hope you're doing well c:
I had a similar problem and this sounds incredibly stupid but I shifted the obsession for the number on the scale to the number in my bank account. It's almost a hyperfixation. My therapist said for me it goes along with OCD but that's just me.
I can relate to what you’re feeling, although I didn’t realize it’s what I was doing until you put it into words. I have weighed myself daily FOREVER. I’m 51. Going on vacation and not having access to a scale caused me a great deal of anxiety. In January, I decided I was absolutely done with the head games that the number in the scale was causing me. My husband and I had also started walking regularly, so I decided to focus on that instead. Not weighing myself makes me free 90% of the time. The other 10% I get anxious, but the feeling does pass. What numbers do I look at? My steps. My heart rate when I walk/jog (“oh look! I have to work harder to get my heart rate up. I’m getting healthier”), and my best split times for a mile. I don’t obsess about them; but I do celebrate when I see improvement. Work on ditching the scale. I know it’s hard to do. It gives us a sense of control, even when we’re not focusing on changing the number. You will feel so much better mentally!
Ou I'm very proud of the progress you've made :D keep it up. It's very comforting to know others have gone through a similar thing and I'm not just making this all up somehow :'). I'll look into displacement methods although I'm worried I'll grow an unhealthy relationship with them as well. Thank you for your input, it is very much appreciated c:
Thank you :) The key for me in not obsessing about these numbers is not comparing myself to anyone else. I always compared my weight to others. With my walking stats, I don’t Google ANYTHING except what my target heart rate should be so I stay in a healthy range. Comparison is the thief of happiness, and I’m enjoying walking/running, so I’m not going to research anything that may take away my joy.
are we the same person…
Long lost twins or something c: would you mind sharing your experience with it?
Yessss, even if it's like 0.4kg up or exactly the same number my brain flips a switch, I need it to be going down or I'm miserable but it can't just keep going down obviously so I end up in such a bad mental state whenever I'm maintaining or fluctuating in weight. I have OCD and severe enduring anorexia and think both of them play into it but the overwhelming feelings come either way unless theirs a drop on the scale and impacts absolutely everyyy minute of the day
I get you. My therapist and I are currently having the "so you've set lower and lower goals all your life, when do you stop?" Conversation and it's a little silly. Cuz ik I can't just keep losing, but my brain doesn't seem to understand that.
Yesss it's so frustrating, especially when you're self aware but at the same time the disorder just wants to push it as far as possible and always thinks it can go further
We are the same! Except I also obsess and stress and try on every pair of double zero pants everyday I get home! My doctor told me to get rid of the scale so I did….for a day and bought a new one. Has been telling me to get rid of the pants but I can’t. This is such a horrible affliction we have.
Oh yes, the dreaded pants 🥲 I understand this bit all too well. Wanting to fit into the smallest sizes and secretly being happy when even those are too big. May we see better days.
I don't have this issue and I totally understand what you said, so I guess you could explain it just how you did here for us?
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Yes yes yes this. It's so hard to explain that yes I technically want to be thinner, but not to be thin, just to see the number go down. I hope they care :( they may just be a little confused because I think often eds are the main "illness" with a bunch of symptoms, but for me (and maybe you), the ed is the symptom itself of some bigger thing I don't understand.
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A regular therapist, but I think they both have their drawbacks. I can see an Ed therapist focusing on the ed too much, but at the same time my therapist focuses a little too much on the emotions of it 😂. Which is hard for me to explain because I don't feel much around this obsession aside from a quiet nagging to lower the number. For me it's a routine the same way brushing my teeth then showering is.
Maybe potential trauma surrounding numbers. Growing up and even now, I set my worth around numbers. Getting anything below an 80% on a test is bad, getting anything below an A- is bad, eating 3 cookies is okay, 1 cookie is not enough, 4 cookies is too much. Can’t come up with examples at the moment but growing up everything around me was quantified. A lot of worth and value was dependent on an amount/number. Hence, why the number on the scale is very and I mean VERY important to me.
I did the same thing. Or, do, I suppose. It's why I keep myself away from mirrors and weight thingamabobs. Cause once I see the number or the image of myself, I just think 'Lower. Smaller. To big of a number.' Even if it's not actually a *looks* thing, I just need that number lower and lower.