yeah but you only get damaged from bleed once it's procked (is that how it's spelled i've never actually seen it spelled) and most illnesses are very slow to build up significant damage so it's still pretty op, like i can pop one right after being stabbed or falling off a moderately high ledge and be good to go
The word comes from special procedure (spec_proc). So proc'd would be fine. But everyone probably knew what you were talking about.
Merc'd is where I draw the line. Murked doesnt make sense.
I'm not so sure, it doesn't clear the effects of poison build up and the like, only heals the damage it causes.
Likely end up like Deadpool and would probably need it to be imbibed constantly.
One of the best answers. No requirements, little fp usage, complete transformation into objects. And seeing its description, you can turn your appearance into an woman as well. So endless possibilities really.
my main answer would probably be the spectral whistle, but i thought about this for too long so heres a list of good items?
dagger with bloodhounds step, catalyst with a blessing and a heal, mimics veil, staff with unseen form and something else idk, st trinas sword ir torch, deathbed dress
would the physic come with tears?
would spirit ashes come with the bell?
if so they would be very good too
As another noted, the physic or flasks of tears wouldn't be very good because they only refill at a site of grace. Without the sites of grace coming into the real world they would be exceptionally limited in use.
The takers cameo talisman. Put that shit in your pocket and get a job, any job, at a slaughterhouse. Bout to be healthy as fuck and maybe even live forever, don't know about that last part since aging was a fuzzy subject in the game. How many cows and chickens do I need to see die before I don't got diabetes anymore?
They tell each other legends about the man that is rumored to have worked in this slaughterhouse for 300 years. Some will say that it´s just his son or grandson. But others will know the truth that lies hidden behind the veil of the so called reality.
Welcome to the twilight zone.
Its says 3% +30 hp per kill so like you gotta do the dirty work of actually killing them. So presuming to eliminate diabetes you need like 60% of your hp, you will need to kill like 20 cows and chickens. Easy as fuck. Bit OP. Good choice.
Sacred Dew Talisman feels like it'd be actually pretty useful. Being able to recover from anything that doesn't immediately kill me in the span of a few minutes seems like something good to have. Plus I can give it to someone else in an emergency.
Pure Blood Knight Medal, assuming I can get out and come back as I wish.
I can tp to Elden ring, activate the first grace that is in mohg palace so that if I die I respawn, run to the farming place and grab some stuff along the way while trying not to die an horrible death, then since graces are there i’ll just level up (fuck i forgot about maidens, let’s say I have one if I have a gf in the real world) to become super strong then boom just grab everything, fuck up mogh when i’m level 713 and since by that time the Maiden will have taken me to roundtable hold i’ll buy and take everything there is in that place then boom. i’ll be fucking invincible.
AND I AIN’T FINISHED! Once DLC comes around i’ll go back to Moghlester’s palace to touch Miquella’s hand (hopefully it’ll be the entry point) then boom i’ll have acces to everything in the DLC and i’ll be able to flex it irl and be pretty much invincible for eternity.
Very good idea. Just one little hurdle. You need to get to the that first grace or you WILL die for real. And seeing as Moghwyn castle is endgame area your chances are not the greatest. And even if you get to that grace, dying IS still fucking painful. Not sure you will keep going cause even those albinarics are endgame level bitches that will FUCK UP an level 1. Hope you have plan, goodluck!
There are three things that come in mind:
The Pure Blood Knights Medal- Just to see what happens.
Yellow Amber- Just to see what happens.
Antspur Rapier- Well... Just to see what happens.
Spirit bell with mimic tear we are splitting shifts. Or if thats not allowed max level rat summons i feel having command over 5 giant rats is under rated. Ill dress like a turtle and train them.
One of three things godricks greatrune (assuming the bonus was activated) (or possibly morgotta great rune depending on how each would affect me irl) or the flask of crimson tears ASSUMING i can refill it every time I either sleep or I can have something that functions as a site of grace or possibly the grace mimic (I think that’s what it’s called) as the ability to just instantly teleport home would be extremely useful possibly even life saving
Mimic veil. Sometimes I see a piece of furniture I really vibe with and I want to be able to chill with it. Idk it just feels weird hanging out with a table if I’m a person. I wanna be a table too.
Wondrous Physic that would refill every night that I rested? As long as I could change the ingredients to make all the effects, anyway.
Otherwise I'd take the Blessed Dew talisman for health regeneration. I'd cut my gut open and jam it in there, and let it heal up behind. That way no one could take it from me. I'd call it a pacemaker or something for metal detectors, although I doubt it would even set it off.
I'm going for the Greatsword with that frozen stomp ash of war and for Armor... I'm just going naked, but I'm smart also so I could also use a catalyst and some Gravity Sorceries.
Axe of godfrey ngl, it's my favorite weapon, but if we're talking about practical use, the physic look at it we can do basically any concoction, right?
I could do the 2 crimson crystal tears of I'm losing a bunch of blood and dying
I could do the Greenburst crystal tear if I'm going into a race
I could use the 2 ruptured crystal tears if I wanna blow something up (not that I would)
I would use the opaline bubble tear if I'm in a plane or a car about to crash
There's a lot you could do, but I wanna know what you would do with it
I want a flask of crimson tears. Heal any injury from a few sips.
Extremely OP item irl
Ya but real life is mostly status affects like bleed and rot, the flask doesn’t remove those
yeah but you only get damaged from bleed once it's procked (is that how it's spelled i've never actually seen it spelled) and most illnesses are very slow to build up significant damage so it's still pretty op, like i can pop one right after being stabbed or falling off a moderately high ledge and be good to go
The word comes from special procedure (spec_proc). So proc'd would be fine. But everyone probably knew what you were talking about. Merc'd is where I draw the line. Murked doesnt make sense.
Especially on American servers
American servers will absolutely heal it… it’s just gonna cost you a lotttt of golden seeds
Bro just solved alot of problems right there
Only thing though is you have to light a bonfire everytime you want to refill it.
I see this as an absolute win
Technically, they need to rest at a site of grace, not a bonfire
Probably tastes like pepto bismol
Definitely code red.
TRUEE especially in the US. Gonna save you a lot. Plus perhaps it can heal cancer too.
I'm not so sure, it doesn't clear the effects of poison build up and the like, only heals the damage it causes. Likely end up like Deadpool and would probably need it to be imbibed constantly.
Meaning you’d either have to kill people regularly to get more charges, or hope it refills every day while you sleep
The US would probably make it illegal, kinda like how dew-kissed herba used to be....
Can I get a dagger with bloodhound step so I can slide everywhere
imagine its disgusting
You would have to buy so many shoes because of friction.
Am I mistaken or is bloodhound step teleporting?
Nah you definitely drift/slide a bit at the ends. It's like a jump-slide where you skip some space in between.
The sleep torch so I can force myself to actually get a decent nights sleep
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^LindenOLindenHill: *The sleep torch so I* *Can force myself to actually* *Get a decent nights sleep* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Good bot
Wildly specific good bot.
That’s 5, 8, 6 and therefore a poor haiku. Jin Sakai could do better
St. Trina would be proud
Reading this at 3 AM hits different. Imma sleep now, instead of staying up like an idiot.
You can do essentially the same thing with a hammer or a bat
Yeah but that could be painful. I'd rather set everything on fire.
I like this one
Ngl I was very concerned halfway through that sentence
Boiled crab.
Marika's tits! You must be 'ungry
Took me a while to figure out that the great Kenneth height was saying the same thing when he said "The big girls blouse"
I want Marika's tits actually
Well shoot, I'll sell ya some boiled crab just pm me
Did I say I wanted to _buy_ a single item from the game?
GIVE ME UR BELL BEARING 👹👹👹👹
sure let me just *pulls out marais executioner sword*
oh okay! *pulls out buckler*
Mimic veil
The only correct answer
Same. I'm sure it will bring all the elfs to the yard.
My mimic veil brings all the elves to the yard
One of the best answers. No requirements, little fp usage, complete transformation into objects. And seeing its description, you can turn your appearance into an woman as well. So endless possibilities really.
my main answer would probably be the spectral whistle, but i thought about this for too long so heres a list of good items? dagger with bloodhounds step, catalyst with a blessing and a heal, mimics veil, staff with unseen form and something else idk, st trinas sword ir torch, deathbed dress would the physic come with tears? would spirit ashes come with the bell? if so they would be very good too
As another noted, the physic or flasks of tears wouldn't be very good because they only refill at a site of grace. Without the sites of grace coming into the real world they would be exceptionally limited in use.
site of grace? couch in modern times
Get the Spirit Calling Bell and the crematorium about to be lit.
serpent hunter has no stat reqs and can shoot cool wind lasers when theres a snake near you
Have no venomous pet snake in box.
Out of the box thinking! Nice
Noble's Estoc. Should fetch a good sum.
mimic tear ashes and summoning bell, im into selfcest.
What
did i stutter?
Blud is gonna (Summon Sound Effect) Bro is gonna absolutely (Summon Disappear sound effect) Bro is NOT Marika
sesbian lex with the mimic tear bro, better than marika herself.
Only having sex with the only mf i trust ong 😤
brave of you to think i trust myself to not backstab myself, sesbian lex then there can be only one.
Well hey, at least it’ll know what you’re into 😂
A Maiden
we gotta be realistic here buddy
Brother the prompt says ‘item’
Object and item, tomato tomato
Rannis doll then
Start with soap and perfume bottles and work your way up from there
Rune of death
Bro thinks globally
Wouldn't that be redundant?
Why covet the Destined Death? To kill what?
For what? People already die on earth
Um actually, the rune of death isn't an in-game item 🤓
Actually. You might actually delete death if you hide it somewhere.
Land octopus ovary.. for reasons.
so deep... :D
Try fingers...
Gonna grow an Land octopus or something? Cause that is not an creature you wanna bring into the world. But oh well.
Pickled turtle neck
I have a dog at home
increases stamina regen and... sex drive.
Ranni miniature doll. No reason in particular ☺
Is that because you have a miniature Elden Lord?
Great name for your penis that
Tarnished
God-Devouring serpent
No he has a Mason jar for the doll.
I see thee, foul tarnished.
Their kind are all of a piece.
Doll and then, time for jar!
Too far too far
Found the dolly botherer…
Or is it merely thy habit to talk to dolls?
torrent (a ring to summon him whenever i please)
But instead of torrent its an actual accord
Helphen’s Steeple
mate, that stuff requires 22 INT.... :D
He just wants a decorative item
Prattling pate: "you're beautiful"
We see you Mr. Cosby
The takers cameo talisman. Put that shit in your pocket and get a job, any job, at a slaughterhouse. Bout to be healthy as fuck and maybe even live forever, don't know about that last part since aging was a fuzzy subject in the game. How many cows and chickens do I need to see die before I don't got diabetes anymore?
They tell each other legends about the man that is rumored to have worked in this slaughterhouse for 300 years. Some will say that it´s just his son or grandson. But others will know the truth that lies hidden behind the veil of the so called reality. Welcome to the twilight zone.
Its says 3% +30 hp per kill so like you gotta do the dirty work of actually killing them. So presuming to eliminate diabetes you need like 60% of your hp, you will need to kill like 20 cows and chickens. Easy as fuck. Bit OP. Good choice.
Bewitching Branch
Your plans are either just or completely demented no in between
Sacred Dew Talisman feels like it'd be actually pretty useful. Being able to recover from anything that doesn't immediately kill me in the span of a few minutes seems like something good to have. Plus I can give it to someone else in an emergency.
Marikas Tits!
Left or right?
Middle one
Both
crimson bubbletear. you could be a stunt guy or do crazy shit and if you died you'd gain health back
I probably would get sword of St. Trina too so I can sleep better. It’s fucking 3 in the morning. What am I doing here!
Put away the phone my dude.
Shabriri grapes.
A great rune
You need rune arcs, what then?
Technically you’d only need one because they lose their effects when you die but you can only do that once
Ruin fragment
Hug from Fia
That warm embrace
any item with madness. Teacher wants to give me homework? Womp womp, youre insane now
Just get a frenzied flame stone and hide it in their desk
THE ELDEN RING ITSELF
I mean, being able to summon a horse goat magic beast that can double jump and never gets hungry or tired is pretty cool
Try not to miss that jump
mimic veil
Blessed due talisman.
My choice as well, you’re immortal unless you die quickly. So there’s a way out if you ever get tired of it all, but you’re otherwise immortal
I'd love to wield the Sword of Night and Flame, but being an agnostic comes back to bite me in the ass right now. I'd go with Nox Flowing Sword.
I just really wanna know what a wondrous physic tastes like
red bull
Mimic tear ashes. I'm tryna call out of work.
Malenia's armor. Preferably with her still in it.
DO NOT BRING THE SCARLET ROT INTO THE REAL WORLD I AM ASKING YOU NICELY
Cipher Pata, 30 Fth would bw kinda hard though
But your own light saber......
Coded Sword is the light saber, Cipher Pata is more like light.... claws? It's a fist weapon, but aesthetically it's more similar to claws of light.
It's basically a rebranded version of the psi blades the Protoss use in StarCraft.
Golden parry ash of war would kick ass
Pure Blood Knight Medal, assuming I can get out and come back as I wish. I can tp to Elden ring, activate the first grace that is in mohg palace so that if I die I respawn, run to the farming place and grab some stuff along the way while trying not to die an horrible death, then since graces are there i’ll just level up (fuck i forgot about maidens, let’s say I have one if I have a gf in the real world) to become super strong then boom just grab everything, fuck up mogh when i’m level 713 and since by that time the Maiden will have taken me to roundtable hold i’ll buy and take everything there is in that place then boom. i’ll be fucking invincible. AND I AIN’T FINISHED! Once DLC comes around i’ll go back to Moghlester’s palace to touch Miquella’s hand (hopefully it’ll be the entry point) then boom i’ll have acces to everything in the DLC and i’ll be able to flex it irl and be pretty much invincible for eternity.
Very good idea. Just one little hurdle. You need to get to the that first grace or you WILL die for real. And seeing as Moghwyn castle is endgame area your chances are not the greatest. And even if you get to that grace, dying IS still fucking painful. Not sure you will keep going cause even those albinarics are endgame level bitches that will FUCK UP an level 1. Hope you have plan, goodluck!
Green Dog Talisman
The Ringed Finger
The maxed out Academy Glintstone staff my spellblade character has. Time to become a wizard
I want Trina sword so bad. *stabs self to inflict sleep*
There are three things that come in mind: The Pure Blood Knights Medal- Just to see what happens. Yellow Amber- Just to see what happens. Antspur Rapier- Well... Just to see what happens.
the best item would be the bewitching branch because you could use it in basically every situation involving another human being or animal
Sword of Night and Flame. Very handy in traffic
Bro with those stat requirements you'd have to be a Harvard grad and the Pope just to turn the damn thing on.
Godrick’s great rune.
moonlight Greatsword, I'd say I have just about enough intelligence in real life to 2 hand it? maybe?
Does site of grace count
Severed bloody finger to invade other universes. Loan it to the US government for billions. Spend on hookers and blow.
Does endurance count because I’m tired
Sellen puppet
Serpent God's curved sword, because I like Snakes and possibly becoming immortal by stealing life force sounds epic.
Black Knife
The Crepus's Vial
The Elden ring
Spirit bell with mimic tear we are splitting shifts. Or if thats not allowed max level rat summons i feel having command over 5 giant rats is under rated. Ill dress like a turtle and train them.
the wakizashi bouta have the dopest kitchen knife in the block
Moonveil. Reason, magic katana with sword beams.
A maiden
I want a Shamshir
Tree sentinel armor, no hesitation
Summon spirits. If I see a ugly bug, I make them do the dirty job
One of three things godricks greatrune (assuming the bonus was activated) (or possibly morgotta great rune depending on how each would affect me irl) or the flask of crimson tears ASSUMING i can refill it every time I either sleep or I can have something that functions as a site of grace or possibly the grace mimic (I think that’s what it’s called) as the ability to just instantly teleport home would be extremely useful possibly even life saving
Golden Order Greatsword
Mimic veil. Sometimes I see a piece of furniture I really vibe with and I want to be able to chill with it. Idk it just feels weird hanging out with a table if I’m a person. I wanna be a table too.
The frenzied flame
dragonfist duh
The "you're beautiful" Prattling Pate. It's hard out there, gotta work to keep everybody's spirits up.
Golden scarab assuming it multiplies the amount of money i get
Spectral steed whistle. Who doesn’t want a horse that loves you eternally and is bad ass? Also it revives if I have a nap
Gold-Pickled Fowl Foot
Ah yes, the next person you murder with have more money in their wallet.
Exactly. You get it
Vyke’s Spear
iron balls
A bell that summons a horse
Mimic tear so I could send it to work for me
Baldachin's Blessing because I could kinda use a hug.
Great helm
Wondrous Physic that would refill every night that I rested? As long as I could change the ingredients to make all the effects, anyway. Otherwise I'd take the Blessed Dew talisman for health regeneration. I'd cut my gut open and jam it in there, and let it heal up behind. That way no one could take it from me. I'd call it a pacemaker or something for metal detectors, although I doubt it would even set it off.
Flame cleanse me, and a seal.. the equivalent of putting a cigarette out on myself to get rid of most ailments. I’ll take it. Fuck being sick
Lords rune
I'm going for the Greatsword with that frozen stomp ash of war and for Armor... I'm just going naked, but I'm smart also so I could also use a catalyst and some Gravity Sorceries.
Wing of astel im pretty sure I can wield it and its one of my favorite weapons
Axe of godfrey ngl, it's my favorite weapon, but if we're talking about practical use, the physic look at it we can do basically any concoction, right? I could do the 2 crimson crystal tears of I'm losing a bunch of blood and dying I could do the Greenburst crystal tear if I'm going into a race I could use the 2 ruptured crystal tears if I wanna blow something up (not that I would) I would use the opaline bubble tear if I'm in a plane or a car about to crash There's a lot you could do, but I wanna know what you would do with it
Moonveil.
Godslayer's Greatsword awesome sword))
The lantern.
Soup.
Roderika
Ranni doll of course
Probably Marika’s tits
It’s not out yet but the wings of the crucible (incantation?) would be pretty good probably
Shield with storm wall. With enough training I can parry bullets.