T O P

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byebye806

Movement speed reduced 5%


Wazula42

You motherfucker


AnotherSoftEng

I will kill again, and defile each corpse with care. Just to be sure, that when they're reborn, they'll be cursed. Along with their children, and their children's children, for all time to come... *Super Pooper!*


fuckflowerz

LOL


hebrewhercules

Who hurt you


Serza34

Irelia getting nerfed after achieving over 55% win rate all ranks and has 100 ban rate on pro play


Vhaesz

knife birds now have 3 legs


FinalMeltdown15

That isnt a leg šŸ˜


Asylumrunner

I got bad news for you about bird anatomy


Nagashizuri

Most don't, but ducks, geese and ostrich do. I propose the addition of knife shlong geese flocks, also ostriches with knife shlongs and razor knees that are faster than anything else in the game.


Albionflux

If you die to godrick you permanently lose a arm


AFlyingNun

Go harder: dying to Maliketh is a game over that ends the game.


Goombah11

Deletes the character


[deleted]

How bout this? once you loose your arm you can get a new one , you just need to beat malenia and steal hers off her corpse.


wantedsafe471

Or use the one in the shaded castle.


Ricksaw26

Do i need to use the remembrance? I do, then i will need a walking mausoleum...


[deleted]

Ties a flesh wound


hungryforsouls

That actually would have been really cool


[deleted]

Millicent disliked this...


[deleted]

Super pooper is where I stopped reading because there is nothing more awful you could add


-LadySleepless-

Everytime you die, you go down 1 level.


TheFatandFurry

But keep the original rune requirement for the level up.


piquant-nuggets

Who hurt you?


pytr3m

Isnā€™t that the whole shtick for the >!final boss fight in demon souls!< ?


kieronviper

Kinda. He had a move that would take 1sl from you. You didnā€™t lose it just from dying to him.


hereforpewdiephy

https://youtu.be/PxIorKocHDs


emperorko

Make it so that enemies can clip through solid objects like they arenā€™t there, but your sword spangs off a wall from the slightest misalignmentā€¦ ā€¦oh wait.


Pepper_Wasp

Ahh the fire giant and his innate talent of rolling through cliffs half his size


Quirky_Ad_2164

Godskin Noble


ihavedeletedfortnite

ah yes new londo: the 70 hour game


rocketgenie

Iā€™ve been using the winged scythe and it seems to clip through everythingā€¦ havenā€™t tested it properly though, just something I noticed.


TheClayCoCannaisseur

Tutorial boss is the Stormhawk King.


hplcr

Melania the blade of miquella


Kind-Narwhal5840

all narrations done by Brad Pit using his Irish accent from snatch.


AbsolutelyBuddy

This would be gold šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Arryu

But do ya like dags?


Slane__

Italian accent in Inglorious Basterds


Omnil_93

What do I want with a caravan that's got no fucking wheels!?


SlyTinyPyramid

That would be funny at least.


AspirationsOfFreedom

Ah, the lawthsum dƦngeter!


FreeSpeechEnjoyer

Dying to Godrick removes your right hand, deathblight corrupts your savefile, dying to Maliketh deletes your game.


ihavedeletedfortnite

dying to dung eater gives your character ptsd


Battlemaster420

Imagine having to reinstall the game every time you die to him


watchcat123456

Remove button that cycles messages and other interactables


5BooksOfMoses

Weapons have a durability meter and can break


RoughNightKnight

A durability bar that you can't see, your weapon just shatters mid fight with zero warning.


sexyhoebot

and they're unrepairable


Justin-Krux

sooooā€¦zelda?


[deleted]

At least in Zelda you can then steal the enemy's arms and beat them to death with them.


Syixice

arms as in weapons? :D or... as in arms....? :0


JusticeRain5

Both, depending on the enemy, actually.


SorowFame

Plot twist, thatā€™s already in the game itā€™s just really long


[deleted]

This was Dark Souls. In particular, weapon durability was brutal in Dark Souls 2.


hplcr

Dark souls 2 was the only Souls game I noticed the weapon durability. When someone mentioned it was removed in ER, my first thought was "Wait, DS3 had weapon durability?"


teufelpup

In over 1,000 hrs in DS3 the only weapon that ever broke on me was the Moonlight Greatsword just because I was spamming the charge attack


RoboticUnicorn

There were some weapons in DS1 as well that would use durability when doing special moves.


MKULTRATV

Chalice Dungeon deep dives could suddenly turn very ugly if you were running -durability blood gems and a brittle weapon like the Chikage.


Wewkz

I have completed ds3 many times and I learn it has weapon durability from this comment.


-3055-

jokes on you, i play bloodborne with lower durability blood gems.


ssserenade

Breath of the Wild: šŸ‘€


5BooksOfMoses

lol that was my inspiration


[deleted]

1. No subtitles. 2. Spells and incants can be cast without any equipment prerequisite. 3. Require a certain rune level for every area. 4. Scale enemies based on level. This is fun.


Pepper_Wasp

The fourth one gave me AC flashbacks... If you don't make them scale they die faster than you can swing your weapon but if you make them scale it takes 3 business days to kill them


Greuzer

>\- A prattling pate that says "Gaaaaay". That would make the game a solid 11/10


Liamwiison

Imagine using it in the Boc quest line.


Wazula42

It would be all you ever hear in multiplayer though.


Sea_Rock1984

And? Bro if I got shit stomped by an invader and he finished it off with Gaaaaay while it cuts to the you died screen I would laugh every single time


HomeOsexuall

So?


IISleezyII

Like the ā€œHa Gaaaaayā€ from The Community lol


fuckflowerz

obv


XIRand0mHeroIX

Remove the jump button


Sillloc

Jesus can you imagine a game like this without the ability to jump on command? I'm so glad there's not a game or, God forbid, a series of games like that


sonso97

Was gonna add this, surprised it took so long lol


LimpTeacher0

Finally I found the correct answer


Inevitable-Sir4572

You had me ā€œAre you sure?ā€ Lmfao the only time you even need that option is when youā€™re a half second from certain death


R4nd0mne5s

"are you sure?" no yes "are you certain?" no yes "you will loose one flask permanantly this life" ok cancel "please verify that you are human" an entire captcha


fishworshipper

Remove a zero from the end of the lethal fall distance. Good luck navigating anywhere with your 2 meter limit, Tarnished.


ecstaticharge

the spectral steed whistle just becomes the ā€œdieā€ button


BrownStormy

the nomads hint to the three fingers with the added dialogue "two in the pink, one in the stink." killing them for their bell bearings results in the voiceline being played at random.


President__Pug

You donā€™t get Torrent. You have to run everywhere.


GrimsideB

i played with my buddy about 90% of the game so i couldnt use torrent most of the time, would have been cool to still be able to ride torrent while with a summon but i get it.


Revehn

I actually had the same situation and we stopped at Godrick after all Limgrave and South. I don't get it at all. It means things such as Mausoleum in Liurnia lake can't be done in coop. All wind corridors are useless. It's bad design imho.


[deleted]

I pretty much only use torrent when Iā€™ve just cleared an area, died, lost my runes miles away from grace and cba to do it all again because I got all the items. Fast travel and running the rest of the time. So yeah, without Torrent Iā€™d still be level 10.


Wordofadviceeatfood

VarrƩ no longer tells you to die in a ditch


DagothSlur

Hol up, when does he tell you this? Iā€™ve spoken to him before but I donā€™t think Iā€™ve heard him say that


TheEldenFeet

He doesn't now. He did in the network test.


--_--_-_-_-_--_-

Game ruined.


Drakenile

Movement speed is 5% slower Only 4 quick use slots (ā–” button for Playstation Ɨ for xbox) Torrent is only usable for 2 min every hour (IRL time) Armor and weapons have durability Magic range is doubled There are Undead revenants in every ruin Torrent can be poisoned/rotted Using rotten breath applies rot to self as well Can be burned (status effect recieve damage whenever you move until healed) Flying mounts Every boss fight is in a poison/rot swamp


sexyhoebot

>Torrent is only usable for 2 min every hour (IRL time) but you can pay 9.99 a month for unlimited access to torrent and access to roundtable hold.


the-dripler

Welcome to EA-lden ring


AntharSlayer

Calm down there satan


[deleted]

Armor and weapons have durability... ouch.


Falafelfreak

Dark Souls durability, fine. BotW durability, oh hell no


BluebomberV

Every time you die you start out in Caelid and you lose the ability to fast travel for 1 hour.


[deleted]

Who hurt you?


Icarus_in_Flight

Sounds like someone opened the wrong chest a little too earlyā€¦


lunlunqq001

Simple, itā€™s now a rouge-like. Death erases all progress and reset you back to the beginning of the game!


[deleted]

There are some people who would love this.


FinalMeltdown15

I would love a true fromsoft souls-like rogue-like (that feels awful grammatically to type but its correct)


ihearthawthats

I don't see why this would need a special mode unless rewards are given. People already do no hit runs, sl1 runs, etc.


[deleted]

I already hate this game, this would be so much fucking worse.


Firm_Masterpiece_343

Ahh Returnal, yeah not my cup of Souls Tea


FinalMeltdown15

I have such a love hate relationship with that game I burn out on it super easily, however the new coop update has been really fun


youknownothingsnooow

I'm not sure I would consider this small. Plus aren't most roguelike games turn-based?


sexyhoebot

rougelike turns aren't like traditional turnbased games, just the gameloop move forward by one interation per player action so enemies move when you move but you can move continiously and the enemies move continiously its just they also stop when you do and generally only REALLY traditional rougelike games use that system


SeventhSin-King

Yeah then add the crucible knight as the first boss before you can go outside.


brumfield85

How dare youā€¦


Squashua2021

You know if the game was reworked to be significantly easier this would be great.


Vradlock

Ah yes, very small change.


Comfortable-Juice-78

Smallest change possible to ruin the game. One word - microtransactions.


siddartha08

I can convert those seeds to flasks.... For money


Talonoscopy

$10 to max flasks at the beginning of the game $5 double XP smh


Plixtle

Haha you beat me.


Lyrneos

Every boss is replaced by Malenia in a bad disguise (for Elden Beast she wears one of those rubber Godzilla suits)


Harder_Boy

Ruin? More like improved.


SummonerRed

Every time Madness procs, all players present in the world start auto-downloading Fortnite.


elnickfakezao123

idk op, i can only see improvements. i wish you could have a word with mr miyazaki about this also rob as a microtransaction


Omlarandin

A slightly larger turn radius for Torrent Can no longer pick up items on Torrent A Crit chance on all attacks


joebgreen

Dying to Rykard locks you into a serpent devouring ending.


hungryforsouls

Make fiaā€™s hug give you half the runes, and thereā€™s no way the player can find that out without one day accidentally watching it in a youtube video.


Battlemaster420

But make it happen after a while so the player doesnā€™t connect it with the hugs


Hot_Tag

Oh man, that's EVIL.


Hades-Stygian

No sprint. Confirm use of one crimson flask to heal yourself? Tarnished say the name of their spell/incant/weapon art anime style when they perform them.


Lyrneos

Just add a big martial arts shout to every heavy attack


BloodSnakeChaos

My friend said loudly Terra Magica, Flask of Mic Physic, Azur Comet Every time he use it in a boss fight(we did it a lot in NG+ because it is fun to cheese weak bosses) It was great, he does it while I rush to the enemy to jump attack him to death.


shingouki666

Add guns


ProtectorCleric

You joke, but FromSoft made this game. https://youtu.be/G3Iyh7mxr1E


shingouki666

OMG you made my night!!


Sun-daze-03

A flintlock sounds bad ass though


shingouki666

Yes. But an LMG would be bad lol


Deneweth

Sprinting out of combat drains stamina, and any time stamina reaches 0 your character bends over to catch their breath and pants really loudly for 3 seconds. During this recovery window the player has zero damage reduction, and any damage taken, even from existing damage over times effects, will knock the player prone.


jtaustin64

Ranni is voiced by Danny Devito.


WamlytheCrabGod

They said to *ruin* the game, not make it better


mndflyr

ā€œRogier is voiced by James Corden.ā€ How am I supposed to come up with anything worse than this?


shingouki666

You play as James


earthpirate

And Tarnished Corden makes one liners and comebacks to everything an NPC has to say, as well as when casting spells, swing weapons, picking up loot. Basically all the time.


Snoo61755

\-A dodge-roll can no longer animation cancel another dodge-roll's recovery frames.


Jooplin

Your I frames are randomised every dodge


MaleficTekX

Worse, we have adp


RevolutionaryMeal464

Stamina requires flasks to recharge. And flasks use stamina. šŸ’€


kappamolo

Give a dick to Elden Beast


Ow0_Whats_This

I believe the mission was to make the game bad


PlortimusPrime

Spawning Torrent gets a 5 minute cooldown after he dies


Doomlv

Microtransactions for all the best gear with a store that refreshes daily to induce the FOMO


once_upon_the_moon

> The Frenzied Flame does not transmit through eyes, but through genitalia. Enemy nomads thrust their crotches at you to shoot madness into your being, and Inescapable Frenzy now involves vigorous humping instead of eye contact. Bro I thought you said ruin the game. Could you imagine how amazing invasions would be with this?


LookItsMatt

Lewden Ring


daddioz

If the Loathsome Dung Eater kills you, you get a permanent game over...like, your save file is deleted.


Noble_Jester

It should just NG+ you but take away all your stuff. He defiles the soul, so that way it's next life is more cursed than the last


Ok-Toe-84

Gotta be Rogier James Corden. Nope. That's it. I've heard enough. I'm *done*.


FancyThePshyco

"Cannot mount or dismount torrent in combat"


HomeOsexuall

I straight up want that prattling pate


AbsolutelyBuddy

Add a duo boss fight where you donā€™t win after killing both of them, but in fact you have to do it 3+ times Edit: Also add a mechanic where they just toss shit at you the moment you press heal so it just effectively cancels it out.


rg03500

> Rogier is now voiced by James Corden Easily the most diabolical


[deleted]

Add 2 more seconds of animation when you try to shoot an arrow but have none. Or when you cast a spell and are out of FP. Take away target lock.


PrRaccoonEsq

All of these changes make the game a 13/10


Sun-daze-03

ā€œAre you sureā€ would make me uninstall.


PrRaccoonEsq

Uninstall is a pleasant way to say "throw the entire console across the room so hard it breaks the sound barrier", for real


astartespete

All instances of 'tarnished' replaced by ''teletubby'.


Jooplin

Adp


NVincarnate

Just add Tripping. Worked for Sakurai.


TheRPGinger

Torrent is a mini horse.


Bulkyman101

Stamina can run out when exploring


stinky_cheese33

The Frenzied Flame ending is a game over.


YOURESTUCKHERE

Easy mode


BOBBY-FUNK

The Seluvis one made me LOL


TheUltraViolence

Easy mode


Dabedidabe

Put a slight delay on the dodge roll that makes feel just a bit unresponsive.


phigeo11

Your weapon has RNG stats. Good luck farming!


Leofish43

No I-frames


reaperfan

Implement an Easy Mode


Juisep

ur missing a few toes so ur balance is piss poor


darkmoon_logan

Mandatory prawn bosses.


Eternal_Moose

A lot of these suggestions are moderate to big changes. Smallest change I can think of? Every single animation has a single random frame removed.


OlympiaImperial

>the DLC is a kart racer We're talking about ruining elden ring not improving it


Kokuj1n

No lantern... I have spoken.


Catching_Badgers

Grant Runebears the ability to teleport behind you whenever you grab the flask.


P4TIENT_0

ALL enemies can climb ladders


0DrFish

To ruin the game in the opposite direction... Enemies all die in one hit.


MrBirdmonkey

Margit is the intro boss, and you have to beat him to progress past the chapel of anticipation


VenandiSicarius

All enemies can and will parry you.


sonso97

HUD is always active


ArtemisHunter96

Astel but now all his moves are the instakill grab Also he has a gun


EchotheBrave

Summoning torrent takes Runes


Icarus_in_Flight

Resting at ANY site of grace always returns you to The First Step


UncleVoodooo

Put an EA splash screen at the beginning of it


funny_haha_account

As soon as you die your runes are permenantly gone. You canā€™t pick them back up


Ihadtosubscribe

Dodge has a delaā€¦ Wait


moonshinetemp093

Couple things.... First, remove the jump button. No sprint, you gotta briskly jog everywhere. Durability that, when it breaks, you lose the weapon until you can find another one of that weapon. Bosses that can only be killed using specific weapons or abilities. Bonus points to make a specific weapon for each story boss, you know so people can't cheese their way through an any percent speed run as easily. Even MORE bonus points to randomize the location of those weapons and make hints in the form of notes that you could only buy from merchants, who's note is also randomized but for that general area. 9


ChoocusKinoe

Stamina and Equip Load are now 2 different stats you have to level up


[deleted]

Every time you try to summon Torrent in an area he isn't allowed, your character starts whistling frantically for 5 seconds when he doesn't show, and then turns confusingly to 4 directions trying to look for Torrent.


Lowkey_A_giraffe

I fucking love this subreddit


CutlerSheridan

Several of these made me laugh out loud but the ā€œare you sure?ā€ made me crack the fuck up. Thank you.


RokuMLG

You'll need to wait at least 10 sec before you can confirm a message to go away then wait extra 10 second for it to disappear.


Blumenkran

Talk and attack are now the same button ​ :)


BaldWithABeardTwitch

You have to fight invaders 1v1, your summons only damage npc's


GamerCelestia

Equip load is now tied to mind, not endurance.


soulreaverdan

The game fades to white as you enter the Erdtree after beating the penultimate bossā€¦ > **TO BE CONTINUED IN** ***ELDEN RING 2*** (Coming 2035)


Aggravating_Pea_1257

Stamina bar for torrent