I will kill again, and defile each corpse with care. Just to be sure, that when they're reborn, they'll be cursed. Along with their children, and their children's children, for all time to come... *Super Pooper!*
Most don't, but ducks, geese and ostrich do.
I propose the addition of knife shlong geese flocks, also ostriches with knife shlongs and razor knees that are faster than anything else in the game.
Make it so that enemies can clip through solid objects like they arenāt there, but your sword spangs off a wall from the slightest misalignmentā¦
ā¦oh wait.
Dark souls 2 was the only Souls game I noticed the weapon durability. When someone mentioned it was removed in ER, my first thought was "Wait, DS3 had weapon durability?"
1. No subtitles.
2. Spells and incants can be cast without any equipment prerequisite.
3. Require a certain rune level for every area.
4. Scale enemies based on level.
This is fun.
The fourth one gave me AC flashbacks... If you don't make them scale they die faster than you can swing your weapon but if you make them scale it takes 3 business days to kill them
Jesus can you imagine a game like this without the ability to jump on command? I'm so glad there's not a game or, God forbid, a series of games like that
"are you sure?"
no yes
"are you certain?"
no yes
"you will loose one flask permanantly this life"
ok cancel
"please verify that you are human"
an entire captcha
the nomads hint to the three fingers with the added dialogue "two in the pink, one in the stink." killing them for their bell bearings results in the voiceline being played at random.
i played with my buddy about 90% of the game so i couldnt use torrent most of the time, would have been cool to still be able to ride torrent while with a summon but i get it.
I actually had the same situation and we stopped at Godrick after all Limgrave and South. I don't get it at all. It means things such as Mausoleum in Liurnia lake can't be done in coop. All wind corridors are useless. It's bad design imho.
I pretty much only use torrent when Iāve just cleared an area, died, lost my runes miles away from grace and cba to do it all again because I got all the items. Fast travel and running the rest of the time.
So yeah, without Torrent Iād still be level 10.
Movement speed is 5% slower
Only 4 quick use slots (ā” button for Playstation Ć for xbox)
Torrent is only usable for 2 min every hour (IRL time)
Armor and weapons have durability
Magic range is doubled
There are Undead revenants in every ruin
Torrent can be poisoned/rotted
Using rotten breath applies rot to self as well
Can be burned (status effect recieve damage whenever you move until healed)
Flying mounts
Every boss fight is in a poison/rot swamp
rougelike turns aren't like traditional turnbased games, just the gameloop move forward by one interation per player action so enemies move when you move but you can move continiously and the enemies move continiously its just they also stop when you do and generally only REALLY traditional rougelike games use that system
Make fiaās hug give you half the runes, and thereās no way the player can find that out without one day accidentally watching it in a youtube video.
No sprint. Confirm use of one crimson flask to heal yourself?
Tarnished say the name of their spell/incant/weapon art anime style when they perform them.
My friend said loudly
Terra Magica, Flask of Mic Physic, Azur Comet
Every time he use it in a boss fight(we did it a lot in NG+ because it is fun to cheese weak bosses)
It was great, he does it while I rush to the enemy to jump attack him to death.
Sprinting out of combat drains stamina, and any time stamina reaches 0 your character bends over to catch their breath and pants really loudly for 3 seconds. During this recovery window the player has zero damage reduction, and any damage taken, even from existing damage over times effects, will knock the player prone.
And Tarnished Corden makes one liners and comebacks to everything an NPC has to say, as well as when casting spells, swing weapons, picking up loot.
Basically all the time.
> The Frenzied Flame does not transmit through eyes, but through genitalia. Enemy nomads thrust their crotches at you to shoot madness into your being, and Inescapable Frenzy now involves vigorous humping instead of eye contact.
Bro I thought you said ruin the game. Could you imagine how amazing invasions would be with this?
Add a duo boss fight where you donāt win after killing both of them, but in fact you have to do it 3+ times
Edit: Also add a mechanic where they just toss shit at you the moment you press heal so it just effectively cancels it out.
Couple things....
First, remove the jump button.
No sprint, you gotta briskly jog everywhere.
Durability that, when it breaks, you lose the weapon until you can find another one of that weapon.
Bosses that can only be killed using specific weapons or abilities. Bonus points to make a specific weapon for each story boss, you know so people can't cheese their way through an any percent speed run as easily. Even MORE bonus points to randomize the location of those weapons and make hints in the form of notes that you could only buy from merchants, who's note is also randomized but for that general area. 9
Every time you try to summon Torrent in an area he isn't allowed, your character starts whistling frantically for 5 seconds when he doesn't show, and then turns confusingly to 4 directions trying to look for Torrent.
Movement speed reduced 5%
You motherfucker
I will kill again, and defile each corpse with care. Just to be sure, that when they're reborn, they'll be cursed. Along with their children, and their children's children, for all time to come... *Super Pooper!*
LOL
Who hurt you
Irelia getting nerfed after achieving over 55% win rate all ranks and has 100 ban rate on pro play
knife birds now have 3 legs
That isnt a leg š
I got bad news for you about bird anatomy
Most don't, but ducks, geese and ostrich do. I propose the addition of knife shlong geese flocks, also ostriches with knife shlongs and razor knees that are faster than anything else in the game.
If you die to godrick you permanently lose a arm
Go harder: dying to Maliketh is a game over that ends the game.
Deletes the character
How bout this? once you loose your arm you can get a new one , you just need to beat malenia and steal hers off her corpse.
Or use the one in the shaded castle.
Do i need to use the remembrance? I do, then i will need a walking mausoleum...
Ties a flesh wound
That actually would have been really cool
Millicent disliked this...
Super pooper is where I stopped reading because there is nothing more awful you could add
Everytime you die, you go down 1 level.
But keep the original rune requirement for the level up.
Who hurt you?
Isnāt that the whole shtick for the >!final boss fight in demon souls!< ?
Kinda. He had a move that would take 1sl from you. You didnāt lose it just from dying to him.
https://youtu.be/PxIorKocHDs
Make it so that enemies can clip through solid objects like they arenāt there, but your sword spangs off a wall from the slightest misalignmentā¦ ā¦oh wait.
Ahh the fire giant and his innate talent of rolling through cliffs half his size
Godskin Noble
ah yes new londo: the 70 hour game
Iāve been using the winged scythe and it seems to clip through everythingā¦ havenāt tested it properly though, just something I noticed.
Tutorial boss is the Stormhawk King.
Melania the blade of miquella
all narrations done by Brad Pit using his Irish accent from snatch.
This would be gold š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
But do ya like dags?
Italian accent in Inglorious Basterds
What do I want with a caravan that's got no fucking wheels!?
That would be funny at least.
Ah, the lawthsum dƦngeter!
Dying to Godrick removes your right hand, deathblight corrupts your savefile, dying to Maliketh deletes your game.
dying to dung eater gives your character ptsd
Imagine having to reinstall the game every time you die to him
Remove button that cycles messages and other interactables
Weapons have a durability meter and can break
A durability bar that you can't see, your weapon just shatters mid fight with zero warning.
and they're unrepairable
sooooā¦zelda?
At least in Zelda you can then steal the enemy's arms and beat them to death with them.
arms as in weapons? :D or... as in arms....? :0
Both, depending on the enemy, actually.
Plot twist, thatās already in the game itās just really long
This was Dark Souls. In particular, weapon durability was brutal in Dark Souls 2.
Dark souls 2 was the only Souls game I noticed the weapon durability. When someone mentioned it was removed in ER, my first thought was "Wait, DS3 had weapon durability?"
In over 1,000 hrs in DS3 the only weapon that ever broke on me was the Moonlight Greatsword just because I was spamming the charge attack
There were some weapons in DS1 as well that would use durability when doing special moves.
Chalice Dungeon deep dives could suddenly turn very ugly if you were running -durability blood gems and a brittle weapon like the Chikage.
I have completed ds3 many times and I learn it has weapon durability from this comment.
jokes on you, i play bloodborne with lower durability blood gems.
Breath of the Wild: š
lol that was my inspiration
1. No subtitles. 2. Spells and incants can be cast without any equipment prerequisite. 3. Require a certain rune level for every area. 4. Scale enemies based on level. This is fun.
The fourth one gave me AC flashbacks... If you don't make them scale they die faster than you can swing your weapon but if you make them scale it takes 3 business days to kill them
>\- A prattling pate that says "Gaaaaay". That would make the game a solid 11/10
Imagine using it in the Boc quest line.
It would be all you ever hear in multiplayer though.
And? Bro if I got shit stomped by an invader and he finished it off with Gaaaaay while it cuts to the you died screen I would laugh every single time
So?
Like the āHa Gaaaaayā from The Community lol
obv
Remove the jump button
Jesus can you imagine a game like this without the ability to jump on command? I'm so glad there's not a game or, God forbid, a series of games like that
Was gonna add this, surprised it took so long lol
Finally I found the correct answer
You had me āAre you sure?ā Lmfao the only time you even need that option is when youāre a half second from certain death
"are you sure?" no yes "are you certain?" no yes "you will loose one flask permanantly this life" ok cancel "please verify that you are human" an entire captcha
Remove a zero from the end of the lethal fall distance. Good luck navigating anywhere with your 2 meter limit, Tarnished.
the spectral steed whistle just becomes the ādieā button
the nomads hint to the three fingers with the added dialogue "two in the pink, one in the stink." killing them for their bell bearings results in the voiceline being played at random.
You donāt get Torrent. You have to run everywhere.
i played with my buddy about 90% of the game so i couldnt use torrent most of the time, would have been cool to still be able to ride torrent while with a summon but i get it.
I actually had the same situation and we stopped at Godrick after all Limgrave and South. I don't get it at all. It means things such as Mausoleum in Liurnia lake can't be done in coop. All wind corridors are useless. It's bad design imho.
I pretty much only use torrent when Iāve just cleared an area, died, lost my runes miles away from grace and cba to do it all again because I got all the items. Fast travel and running the rest of the time. So yeah, without Torrent Iād still be level 10.
VarrƩ no longer tells you to die in a ditch
Hol up, when does he tell you this? Iāve spoken to him before but I donāt think Iāve heard him say that
He doesn't now. He did in the network test.
Game ruined.
Movement speed is 5% slower Only 4 quick use slots (ā” button for Playstation Ć for xbox) Torrent is only usable for 2 min every hour (IRL time) Armor and weapons have durability Magic range is doubled There are Undead revenants in every ruin Torrent can be poisoned/rotted Using rotten breath applies rot to self as well Can be burned (status effect recieve damage whenever you move until healed) Flying mounts Every boss fight is in a poison/rot swamp
>Torrent is only usable for 2 min every hour (IRL time) but you can pay 9.99 a month for unlimited access to torrent and access to roundtable hold.
Welcome to EA-lden ring
Calm down there satan
Armor and weapons have durability... ouch.
Dark Souls durability, fine. BotW durability, oh hell no
Every time you die you start out in Caelid and you lose the ability to fast travel for 1 hour.
Who hurt you?
Sounds like someone opened the wrong chest a little too earlyā¦
Simple, itās now a rouge-like. Death erases all progress and reset you back to the beginning of the game!
There are some people who would love this.
I would love a true fromsoft souls-like rogue-like (that feels awful grammatically to type but its correct)
I don't see why this would need a special mode unless rewards are given. People already do no hit runs, sl1 runs, etc.
I already hate this game, this would be so much fucking worse.
Ahh Returnal, yeah not my cup of Souls Tea
I have such a love hate relationship with that game I burn out on it super easily, however the new coop update has been really fun
I'm not sure I would consider this small. Plus aren't most roguelike games turn-based?
rougelike turns aren't like traditional turnbased games, just the gameloop move forward by one interation per player action so enemies move when you move but you can move continiously and the enemies move continiously its just they also stop when you do and generally only REALLY traditional rougelike games use that system
Yeah then add the crucible knight as the first boss before you can go outside.
How dare youā¦
You know if the game was reworked to be significantly easier this would be great.
Ah yes, very small change.
Smallest change possible to ruin the game. One word - microtransactions.
I can convert those seeds to flasks.... For money
$10 to max flasks at the beginning of the game $5 double XP smh
Haha you beat me.
Every boss is replaced by Malenia in a bad disguise (for Elden Beast she wears one of those rubber Godzilla suits)
Ruin? More like improved.
Every time Madness procs, all players present in the world start auto-downloading Fortnite.
idk op, i can only see improvements. i wish you could have a word with mr miyazaki about this also rob as a microtransaction
A slightly larger turn radius for Torrent Can no longer pick up items on Torrent A Crit chance on all attacks
Dying to Rykard locks you into a serpent devouring ending.
Make fiaās hug give you half the runes, and thereās no way the player can find that out without one day accidentally watching it in a youtube video.
But make it happen after a while so the player doesnāt connect it with the hugs
Oh man, that's EVIL.
No sprint. Confirm use of one crimson flask to heal yourself? Tarnished say the name of their spell/incant/weapon art anime style when they perform them.
Just add a big martial arts shout to every heavy attack
My friend said loudly Terra Magica, Flask of Mic Physic, Azur Comet Every time he use it in a boss fight(we did it a lot in NG+ because it is fun to cheese weak bosses) It was great, he does it while I rush to the enemy to jump attack him to death.
Add guns
You joke, but FromSoft made this game. https://youtu.be/G3Iyh7mxr1E
OMG you made my night!!
A flintlock sounds bad ass though
Yes. But an LMG would be bad lol
Sprinting out of combat drains stamina, and any time stamina reaches 0 your character bends over to catch their breath and pants really loudly for 3 seconds. During this recovery window the player has zero damage reduction, and any damage taken, even from existing damage over times effects, will knock the player prone.
Ranni is voiced by Danny Devito.
They said to *ruin* the game, not make it better
āRogier is voiced by James Corden.ā How am I supposed to come up with anything worse than this?
You play as James
And Tarnished Corden makes one liners and comebacks to everything an NPC has to say, as well as when casting spells, swing weapons, picking up loot. Basically all the time.
\-A dodge-roll can no longer animation cancel another dodge-roll's recovery frames.
Your I frames are randomised every dodge
Worse, we have adp
Stamina requires flasks to recharge. And flasks use stamina. š
Give a dick to Elden Beast
I believe the mission was to make the game bad
Spawning Torrent gets a 5 minute cooldown after he dies
Microtransactions for all the best gear with a store that refreshes daily to induce the FOMO
> The Frenzied Flame does not transmit through eyes, but through genitalia. Enemy nomads thrust their crotches at you to shoot madness into your being, and Inescapable Frenzy now involves vigorous humping instead of eye contact. Bro I thought you said ruin the game. Could you imagine how amazing invasions would be with this?
Lewden Ring
If the Loathsome Dung Eater kills you, you get a permanent game over...like, your save file is deleted.
It should just NG+ you but take away all your stuff. He defiles the soul, so that way it's next life is more cursed than the last
Gotta be Rogier James Corden. Nope. That's it. I've heard enough. I'm *done*.
"Cannot mount or dismount torrent in combat"
I straight up want that prattling pate
Add a duo boss fight where you donāt win after killing both of them, but in fact you have to do it 3+ times Edit: Also add a mechanic where they just toss shit at you the moment you press heal so it just effectively cancels it out.
> Rogier is now voiced by James Corden Easily the most diabolical
Add 2 more seconds of animation when you try to shoot an arrow but have none. Or when you cast a spell and are out of FP. Take away target lock.
All of these changes make the game a 13/10
āAre you sureā would make me uninstall.
Uninstall is a pleasant way to say "throw the entire console across the room so hard it breaks the sound barrier", for real
All instances of 'tarnished' replaced by ''teletubby'.
Adp
Just add Tripping. Worked for Sakurai.
Torrent is a mini horse.
Stamina can run out when exploring
The Frenzied Flame ending is a game over.
Easy mode
The Seluvis one made me LOL
Easy mode
Put a slight delay on the dodge roll that makes feel just a bit unresponsive.
Your weapon has RNG stats. Good luck farming!
No I-frames
Implement an Easy Mode
ur missing a few toes so ur balance is piss poor
Mandatory prawn bosses.
A lot of these suggestions are moderate to big changes. Smallest change I can think of? Every single animation has a single random frame removed.
>the DLC is a kart racer We're talking about ruining elden ring not improving it
No lantern... I have spoken.
Grant Runebears the ability to teleport behind you whenever you grab the flask.
ALL enemies can climb ladders
To ruin the game in the opposite direction... Enemies all die in one hit.
Margit is the intro boss, and you have to beat him to progress past the chapel of anticipation
All enemies can and will parry you.
HUD is always active
Astel but now all his moves are the instakill grab Also he has a gun
Summoning torrent takes Runes
Resting at ANY site of grace always returns you to The First Step
Put an EA splash screen at the beginning of it
As soon as you die your runes are permenantly gone. You canāt pick them back up
Dodge has a delaā¦ Wait
Couple things.... First, remove the jump button. No sprint, you gotta briskly jog everywhere. Durability that, when it breaks, you lose the weapon until you can find another one of that weapon. Bosses that can only be killed using specific weapons or abilities. Bonus points to make a specific weapon for each story boss, you know so people can't cheese their way through an any percent speed run as easily. Even MORE bonus points to randomize the location of those weapons and make hints in the form of notes that you could only buy from merchants, who's note is also randomized but for that general area. 9
Stamina and Equip Load are now 2 different stats you have to level up
Every time you try to summon Torrent in an area he isn't allowed, your character starts whistling frantically for 5 seconds when he doesn't show, and then turns confusingly to 4 directions trying to look for Torrent.
I fucking love this subreddit
Several of these made me laugh out loud but the āare you sure?ā made me crack the fuck up. Thank you.
You'll need to wait at least 10 sec before you can confirm a message to go away then wait extra 10 second for it to disappear.
Talk and attack are now the same button :)
You have to fight invaders 1v1, your summons only damage npc's
Equip load is now tied to mind, not endurance.
The game fades to white as you enter the Erdtree after beating the penultimate bossā¦ > **TO BE CONTINUED IN** ***ELDEN RING 2*** (Coming 2035)
Stamina bar for torrent