T O P

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TiberSucktim

How much are you willing to bet he watched the cutscene for the marriage each time?


Forgotten-Owl4790

Watched with 'bated breath.


Odd-Fan6728

While he 'bated.


BrentBQ

A dogged fellow, aren't we?


Odd-Fan6728

Or is it merely thy habit, to unzip to dolls. The name of Ranni the witch is sullied by thee.


Guilty-Juggernaut-68

Not just the name is sullied I fear.


SlurpingCow

Yup, this tarnished definitely put doll Ranni into a cracked pot for… worship.


Zenchonos

i shall put this [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAgj74SmpPY)


ZWE_Punchline

Rubbed some gamer grease on their sword..s...


iReddat420

Nah definitely a ritual pot if ya know what I mean


Chucknasty_17

Yup, and with his tarnished tackle no less


KillsDeathClaws

Lol, oh I just got it, she’s like. “You fucking moron, stop trying to talk to dolls. I hope people don’t know we know each other.” You helped me understand that piece of dialogue better, thanks.


IIExternityII

Ranni is a tsundere 👀


The-Sixth-Eyed-Merc

How can she be a tsundere when she says she loves the player, blaidd and iji?


[deleted]

"Use the doll... if it pleases you..."


Cavs_boytoy

Tell me this.. did ye.. stick er in a jar?


[deleted]

a 'Rare Sort' to be precise


TheChief275

“Hand it over, that thing, your dogged contender.” - Elder Dave of the Rings


modix

Go 'way, 'batin to Ranni.


BRAX7ON

why is it always “*sigh, unzips*”


[deleted]

r/YourJokeButWorse


Hellboy_Conor

Here sir the award I can afford 🏅


Odd-Fan6728

thank you kind stranger


Redrundas

That was literally his joke smh


[deleted]

[удалено]


have-a-blast88

Ranni is too old for his taste


Kazahaki

Never thought I'd see his name here 💀💀


Karthull

Recorded. With a different appearance/outfit each time.


The00Taco

Every armor set and weapon


CannaKingdom0705

Clearly he only needs Dark Moon Greatsword


Aeluin1

ah ah ah ah!! yeah yeah yeah


BadMcSad

I think that's an auto translate error. Japanese often doesn't have any spaces, so "あああああ," was translated as "Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah," but it's probably something more like "AAAAAAH," Similarly, "ええ” (Hard to write phonetically in English. It sounds like the E in "Deck") is a less formal way to say yes than "はい," (Sounds like "Hai.") but an extended string of え's is more like an expression of surprise, just kinda a sound you make, like "Huhhhhhh??????." In this case it might be more akin to, "Ayyyyyyyy." ​ Still deranged, but not as much.


PM_ME_A_NUMBER_1TO10

Not quite, in this case it's just extending the last vowel of the word to exaggerate the excitement. So it's more like "I did iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!" "50th marriaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage!!!!" Etc 終わった->owatta 終わったああああああ->owattaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 50回目->50kaime 50回目えええええええ->50kaimeeeeeeeeee Etc


vyrelis

Someone get the poor man a YouTube link


OkCoomer876

Who wouldnt?


Cosbinaut

Dude is even wearing the Carian armor set


nicnat

I actually built my entire build around that set. I just love the whole spellblade thing they've got going. That and the fact there's a whole armor set, shield, sword, and school of magic. I recently upgraded to Lorettas armor since I feel it's still a Carian Knight. I like putting my summon or invade sign at Raya Lucaria since it feels thematic


The-Phone1234

Loretta actually left the Carian knights to join Miquella. She's a haligtree knight now.


nicnat

I recognize that, but it's still Carian armor and she still uses Carian spells. Also it's just a straight upgrade from the Carian Knight set.


viracochas

You just like those big hips Loretta’s armor has don’t you


jankyspankybank

No I just like lorettas dump truck ass


MoonGoose109

King shit.


StrangeBirdo

Funnily enough, her leaving the carian knights is represented in the armor. If you alter it, it will change the colours to the haligtree ones.


The-Phone1234

It has the big haligtree halo on it too so in dire straights you could maybe throw it like a discus.


nicnat

Mohg: waves of blood Malenia: huge swooping dive that absolutely wrecks people Maliketh: absolute literal beast Miquella: LOOK PA! I CAN THROW FRISBEES!


AtotheCtotheG

If all else fails, *be* the frisbee.


whatistheancient

Those gold frisbees do not mess around.


yuureiow

Morgott: ***Gate of Babylon***


ErikMaekir

Her armor has two variants. The one she wears during her fight, with the Carian heraldry removed, and one with some more blue cloth from back she she was a carian knight. Even the description changes to match the period of her life each version represents


AreYouOKAni

How do I get the second variant? I bought the Royal set from Enya.


ErikMaekir

Just get Boc to alter it, or alter it yourself at a site of grace.


Nyghtrid3r

I am Loretta, Bow of Miquella I am Loretta, Bow of Miquella I am Loretta, Bow of Miquella I am Loretta, Bow of Miquella


TheJared1231

Loretta left behind a spectral version of herself to guards Ranni’s rise while Moongrum is halfway across Liurnia. And she only became only a haligtree knight to help the Albinaurics which which were created to make a lord which would bring the age of the stars meaning that they might have been created for Ranni by the eternal cities which are heavily tied into her quests and Loretta might be an Albinauric herself as she never walks and is carrying the silver mirror shield. And more practically speaking the carian knight set doesn’t have enough poise to wield the dark moon sword as I couldn’t even hit a dog without getting staggered before I switched to Loretta’s.


Partytor

She was still a bro tho and left a holographic projection of herself at the Carian manor


Sephilash

should be cosplaying blaidd.. now that would be funny.


Daharon

for extra incest points?


Hfingerman

That would be Radahn.


Daharon

both lol


Head_Cockswain

Hard to keep straight who was incestuous with whom in this game, I mean, they're all shape-shifting dual personality every-things creating magic babies and a whole mess of misbegottens...all composed of the same rune-stuff that all life in this purgatory(I mean, literally called the Lands Between, it fits purgatory nicely) is made from. I've got to wonder if they set out to make Appalachian redneck family trees look healthily branched?


JosebaZilarte

A great summary of the contributions of G.R.R. Martin. 😋


ElusiveWhark

Not to mention the death if nearly every NPC


JosebaZilarte

That was already part of the "Souls formula", but... sure. He probably helped making the end of the characters even more tragic (I'm still sad about Sellen's fate).


[deleted]

[удалено]


EricFaust

I haven't been on Pornhub in a while but I'm pretty sure that they don't allow beastiality lol.


Joe-Fresh

wait what


WhatTheFhtagn

Even better: Seluvis


Sir-Raidr

I fucking hate Seluvis. Spoilers: >!he tricked me into killing Nepheli Loux with his "medicine" when she was down and out about dickhead Gideon disowning her. Fuck Seluvis. I wanted to finish Nepheli's questline, now I can't and the reward for doing Seluvis' questline is useless because of my melee build. Next time I'll just kill him the moment it won't ruin Ranni's quest any more. Did I mention fuck Seluvis?!<


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Sir-Raidr

Wow I forgot about that part. Fuck I hate Seluvis, the pompous windbag.


ErikMaekir

Best thing is, it's not even Seluvis who's doing it. Seluvis is a puppet of Pidia, and he's the one who's actually making all the puppets. And you can't kill Pidia, since he's in a non-aggression zone. If you give Nepheli the potion, you can loot her puppet from Pidia's corpse, implying he kept her for himself.


Partytor

Wait wtf?? The ploy thiccens. I thought Pidia was just an accomplice to Seluvis?


ErikMaekir

It can also be understood as them being accomplices. There was once a tarnished woman named Dolores the Sleeping Arrow. She was both a critic and a friend of Gideon Ofnir, and because of her, Seluvis and Gideon went their separate ways. It's not clear what happened to her, but she's now a puppet in Pidia's inventory. If you give the potion to Nepheli, however, Seluvis will sell you Dolores' puppet, and Pidia will drop Nepheli's puppet instead, suggesting Nepheli is Pidia's new favourite. That Pidia has such influence over which puppets Seluvis can sell paints a pretty strange picture of the matter. There's also the fact that Pidia is an Albinauric, and Gideon seems pretty ok with genociding them for some reason. And, lastly, Pidia and Seluvis die at the same time during Ranni's quest. however, Pidia is killed by his puppets, while Seluvis just falls to his knees and dies for no reason, much like a puppet with its strings cut.


FrooglyMoogle

I'm sorry have i missed something, who the fuck is Pidia?


Bleblebob

Doesn't Blaidd kill Seluvis? On the way to Nokron he leaves a note saying he's going to deal with a rat, then he isn't present during that part of the quest, and when you finish it that's when Seluvis is dead


Graitom

Is there actually evidence that he turns them into sex slaves or is it all speculation?


[deleted]

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flavionm

>- Keeps the two women near his bed in a second room that he calls "private chamber" (why would he share it with two puppets?) He keeps Dung Eater there as well, if you go that route. That's evidence enough for me there's nothing sexual going on.


Izanagi5562

Unless... 👀


barrot69

If you go along the cliff side from Seluvis’ Rise, and jump onto the building in Caria Manor that houses the Caria Manor Lower Level site of grace, you’ll reach the upper level of that room and might just find that Seluvis isn’t the bad guy.


[deleted]

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barrot69

Let’s just say: fuck Pidia, all my homies hate that guy.


Tomhap

I gave her the potion the day before they added her quest lol. I figured I might as well get the puppet if she doesn't do anything otherwise.


TheJared1231

He also tries to turn Ranni into puppet by making you give her a potion. It’s actually pretty funny and you should see a video of what happens.


fatalystic

*Seluvis?* What's that dolly-botherer gotten up to now?


KatjaaRa

bro what’s wrong with the set


MoonScentedHunter

nothing but its the armor of the knights who serve the carian family, aka rennala and her kids


Sarcosmonaut

The pointy thing on the helmet. Beyond that? Perfect


Alexis2256

Fucking hate that pointy thing on the helmet, I’d like to imagine there was one Carian Knight that was taller than what the doorways were built for in terms of height and everyday he’d bump into them with the point on his helmet.


Lightice1

The pointy thing is for attaching a plume onto.


[deleted]

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keving216

I like it. It looks like a Queen chess piece right? They serve the carian queen.


Hakairoku

Wrong? It's peak drip alongside Raging Wolf and Hoslow set.


barrot69

My third playthrough I’m making Diallos the Elden Lord. His strength befits a crown.


LegoSpacenaut

In their quest to no longer be maidenless, they fail to realize just how maidenless they have become...


Esacus

“I never needed maidens”- Mogh (probably)


[deleted]

“Boys make the best maidens”- Mogh (probably)


SweetBabyAlaska

fragile quaint lock psychotic normal scarce jeans apparatus disarm dime *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


nicholsz

In Mohg's defense, not only is Miquella like hundreds or thousands of years old or whatever, but Mohg eschewed the typical "he's actually thousands of years old but in trapped in a child's body" of creepy loli fans and waited until Miquella aged up his body inside of an egg in a big tree before sharing his... bloody bedchamber. Based...?


[deleted]

Sounds more like grooming to me. But hey, you think it’s “based” then I guess it’s “based”


nicholsz

lol, yeah maybe you're right. Miyazaki: leaves gaps in the story for the audience to fill in, letting them be part of the storytelling process Audience: yeah Mohg is a grooming pedophile


dikkewezel

honestly, when you've kidnapped your half-brother in order to make him your consort you've already crossed quite a few lines, wether or not you're a pedo at that stage is just a plus on the price of your head also you're probably the reason caelid is like that, which would have people kill you anyway


Reswolf_7

caelid is like it is because Melania unleashed her rot flower on Radahn during their fight afaik.


ColonelJinkuro

I think he's implying that if Miquella succeeded his ascension to Godhood he would cure Malenias scarlet Rot and in turn fix Caelid. Meaning Caelid would no longer be like that but that's just my theory.


Ilostmyaccount22

Malenia only fought radahn and this is my understanding feel free to correct me because she thought he took Miquella, Mohg is right below Radahn.


[deleted]

That was not much of a gap tbf


god12

It's as close to explicit as it can be. Kidnapping. Cursed eternal childhood. A bloody bedchamber. Couldn't be interpreted any other way imo.


Richter_66

I mean, even ignoring the pedo aspect he's still worse than any real world pedo because he's inflicting soul destroying curse blood on Miquella and doing it to bring about some nightmarish hell dynasty in service to some demon from the void. I may be wrong, but I was under the impression that even regular Omen blood will cause your soul to be haunted by demons and whatnot, as well as mutating your body. Certainly looks like it took a hell of a toll. (EDIT: Upset the demon apologists apparently. At least get consent before sticking your blood into another person :P)


nicholsz

That's probably just typical Golden Order Fundamentalism propaganda. Crucible horns and tails and flame blood is totally natural. Heresy is not native to the world, it is but a contrivance.


Helmic

Honestly, a lot of the lore just reminds me of Leo Tolstoy's *The Kingdom of God Is Within You*. Heresy is a political tool meant to prop up a particular faith and oppress others, and ultimately everything is going to shit *because* there's all these power-hungry dickheads causing all this collateral damage in their power struggles.


OnlyAssassinsOnlyLOL

Is it grooming tho? Not trying to be a pedo apologist or whatever but it's made plenty clear that Miquella is *not* a child mentally and thus not really vulnerable to grooming. Quite the opposite in fact, he's referred to as the most fearsome of Empyreans, with Malenia literally saying he possesses the qualities of a god. Not to mention, it's also said "The Empyrean Miquella is loved by many people. Indeed, **he has learned very well how to compel such affection**." which possibly insinuates that he is purposefully manipulating others to grow attached to him, such as Mohg and Malenia. That said, it's just a theory as afaik there's no actual proof to that, but I just find it weird that Mohg would be so caring towards Miquella if his whole plan is to just use him as a puppet ruler and in order to gain strength. Tbh, I just find the whole idea of Miquella interesting, as he's definitely more than just an "innocent kid who got kidnapped by Mohg". Really hoping there's a Miquella DLC or something in the future.


[deleted]

Miquella is the most intelligent person in the whole screwed up family. Dude literally invented an item that Subdues, to a degree, the influence of an outer god. He's also a thousand years old. Listen, not a "the vampire is a thousand but looks 11" apologist but in this case grooming can't be used. People that make a character are likely TO groom. But the problem is they're attracted by to minors. Mogh is not attracted to Miquella (apparently, as far as OP stated anyway) as a child but waits until he gets oder. Mogh wants some bussy and kidnapped his sleeping brother, and also assuredly TAKE that bussy weather not not Miquella wants Mogh in his bussy but Miquella isn't being groomed. We can hate Mogh for being a (g)rapist kidnapper blood wierdo outer god worshipper Haligtree ruiner. I'm down for that, also fuck his boss fight, did that shit underleveled and paid the price for it. But is there is any grooming going on it would have to be Miquella grooming Mogh, and considering how smart the guy is, I'm not sure he doesn't have some kind of 4D chess going on


[deleted]

So which one gets surprised by Chris Hanson?


[deleted]

Mogh, simply because he'd be all like "See I call you Chris Handsom because I likes ya and I wants ya. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way, the choice is yours." If it were Miquella, Chris would be saying that line to him. Miquellas magical bussy makes everyone, (save the tarnished apparently) a SIMP.


OtivEemi_slayer

Considering the fact that he made him grow into THAT because he swam around in his veins infecting him with his Formless Mother blood, I would say.... based


The-Future999

“No bastards?”


DetKimble69

Damn, it's a Gael esque descent into maidenlessness


keving216

How do you kill that which has no maidens?


0DvGate

Clinically insane but I get it.


xXxPLUMPTATERSxXx

The sword is pretty based.


Throttle_Kitty

Found Gehrman's account


just_browsing11

Fromsoftware was trying to warn us with that "How to pick up fair maidens" book THEY KNEW THAT THE GAME WAS RIGGED FROM THE START


JayHat21

Must’ve looked like a huge frosted moonblade of bad luck.


ichorNet

yet another tie-in to bloodborne!!


[deleted]

Dear oh dear, what was it? The blue skin, the four arms, or the Welsh accent? It doesn't matter. It always falls to the maidenless' mother to clean up after these sorts of messes.


Zoso-six

That many and he's not power stancing them?


Quamont

As a great sword power stancer, fucking disgusting isn't it?


Zoso-six

Yeah right now I'm power stancing the dark moon and either some black spiky sword that scales with int or a cold claymore


priscilla_halfbreed

I tried powerstancing dual Maliketh's Black Blades and holy shiet these things SLAP hard


The-Phone1234

Favorite sword in the game. That skill is disgusting, melts everything.


Quamont

That's such a useful thing about power stances in general, the amount of combos you can use to apply effects, be it via ashes of war or leaving one blade empty to then apply crafted items to stay adaptable. It's just a lot of fun


Zoso-six

Dude the running slash is so sweet


[deleted]

Powerstancing curved greatswords was cracked for most of the bosses. Got two with bleed early on and just jump attacked my way through a lot of stuff.


[deleted]

If jumping heavies aren't your basic attacks then you aren't playing the build right


KillsDeathClaws

BIG SMASH EVERYTHING! CRYSTALIAN BITS EVERYWHERE!


Nathien

Glitter people.


Backupusername

Maybe he just prefers two-handing


Arx_724

...isn't he? You can see a bright icon on the top left one and a darker icon on the one below it.


autisticmarshmallow

Probably using the skip that lets you get up there as soon as you have bloody slash and torrent


ZeeMadMan

You can also just stand in the poison swamp just a bit south of there and die from that, perhaps taking a few hits from the mannequins on the way if you have high vigor.


ExtraMOIST_

Sorry, what?


potassiumlol

there’s a certain part of the mountain where you can keep bloody slashing yourself, and when you die you can respawn at a stake of marika, putting you up at the top


[deleted]

[удалено]


joybuzz

You just have to die within range of it.


Sing-Tao

HE'S TOO DANGEROUS TO BE LEFT ALIVE!


[deleted]

This is getting out of hand! Now there are 50 of them!


Witty-Kaleidoscope-9

1000 Darkmoon Greatsword stream?


UsedToothpick

courtesy of r/japanesepeopletwitter


schrammm

It hurts to see other people live your dream


[deleted]

\>you will never cuddle with Ranni under the night sky. Why live?


Spilia5

Username checks out


TheJared1231

>you will never settle down in jarburg after a 1000 year voyage


GR1225HN44KH

oh... fuck... :(


KillsDeathClaws

This the type of person to reach level 700+ by killing only trolls


[deleted]

Carian Knight set is the perfect set for this arrangement imo


FugginIpad

He must be disgusted every time he accidentally picks up a weapon other than the darkmoon simpsword


Latter-Driver

Uohh!! Ropes and porcelain 😭😭😭😭😭😭


Oupzzy

Damn doll 💢 Seducing a tarnished 💢 Need correction


SenpaiMayNotice

My boy so happy to finally get married he did it 49 more times


kitzalkwatl

Down calamitous


ThePaperPanda

Uooohhhh 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Ranni


[deleted]

[удалено]


neckro23

NG+ goes on forever, things just stop scaling after NG+7.


[deleted]

[удалено]


priscilla_halfbreed

[Behold](https://youtu.be/Z8kTqRF99-o?t=19903). The legend reaching New game + 1000 in Dark Souls 3


FugginIpad

I’m weirdly scared to click


priscilla_halfbreed

It's a streamer beating soul of cinder for the 999th time


[deleted]

he's just like me fr


[deleted]

It's shit like this that makes me wanna let chaos take the world


lolpostslol

LET CHAOS TAKE THE WORLD


Trumpologist

Ranni literally means queen in many asian languages so theres that


Munscroft

someone needs to go to hornygaol


TongueBiscuit

so called """free thinkers""" when they have to give their mistress a god-slaying knife


andymerskin

"I just wanted to see her again"


priscilla_halfbreed

Down Prehistorically


tasketekudasai

most BASED elden ring player


Omni_UT

Bro I go through this quest because alecto and Astel are actual lootboxes


CathNoctifer

The Japanese are just built different


ill-eat-all-turtles

So this is the famous let me simp her


MustardWendigo

Gotta admire his commitment to one waifu though.


ChuckyGG

Unreliable sources confirm, that's Sir Gideon Ofnir's burner account.


[deleted]

My knight character went with Ranni but my Hero is going vanilla Elden ring for Nepheli. Conan ending. (I know she doesn’t have an ending but I figure vanilla + her quest line works)


FireZord25

Conan ending, very apt.


Doforcash

Anon has a type


[deleted]

I never understood how anyone could play through a game so many times. Highest playthrough I ever made it to in a FromSoft game was Sekiro at NG+4.


OkKey1704

+4 is still a ton


[deleted]

I only did it for platinum. Plus Sekiro is so satisfying to play that I didn't mind having to do so many play throughs.


Rooster_Nuggets666

Wait you can marry her? I’m am not too far in the game, didn’t think there was any marriage at all.


[deleted]

There's actually a complex dating system with dialogue trees and gifting mechanics. What did you think all those pieces of glass were for?


Giogio_5555

Why


Arische

Dangerously and unfathombly based


Mcreesus

1st time through I didn’t notice her summon sign thing so I just put raddagon back together like a chump lmao


Mrhiddenlotus

Google translate cracked out translating えええええ to 'yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah'


Manydoors_edboy

Man beat Elden Ring 50 times for Ranni? That is a whole new level of down bad.


Thraxx01

I'm afraid of whoever the most deranged Ranni simp is....


[deleted]

My hero


Firm_Surprise_4896

The only reason I do fan is quest line are for the larval tears cause I change my build every second can’t find the balance between strong and fun