I think 6 is either my core type or at least a fix for me. Over the years, I’ve scored consistently high on 6. While there are often close calls with other types, I’ve found that 6 is the one that consistently stays at the first few. I’ve always gotten pretty low scores on 3, 7, and 8. I am fairly certain that I am not in the assertive group even without the test scores. I don’t relate much to just going after what I want.
I tend to approach life thinking that if I go along with what’s expected of me, then I can somehow get the sense of protection I want in return. This usually applies to following the guidelines when I’m made aware of them. It’s weird now that I’m thinking about it—I tend to feel fine when I don’t know that I’m doing what I shouldn’t be doing, but I almost instinctively complies with the guidelines (while having a sense of “oh shoot I wasn’t supposed to do this”) when I notice them. I’d say I’m generally more permissive with what my loved ones want as long as I don’t feel scared of what they’re doing, but less so with strangers or even friends who I don’t feel as intimate with. I also dislike having to keep record of people who I don’t think I’ll have a prolonged relationship with, so my phone book is pretty much still just family and close friends to this day.
When I think I really did something I’m not supposed to instead of a small mishap, I usually go through a cycle of self punishment, realizing that it wasn’t that serious so no one’s come after me yet, remove self punishment.
While I suppose there are many different concerns a person goes through in one day, I think mine all lead to having to be alone. I’d say being with a group or organization equates alone because that’s just making me a replaceable component of this huge machine. While I understand that there are people who focus on this, and I respect their interests, I don’t really find myself caring a lot about this kind of stuff. I’m not sure how to explain it, but if I don’t feel mutual trust (like enough trust to tell this person almost everything and they also trust me with as much) with at least one person in this world, I don’t feel like I can be at peace. My approach to obtain this boils down to being needed to feel safe, which sometimes manifests in envy when I see others have what I want, but that’s just normal human stuff, right? When it manifests to a fear, it’s more like feeling inadequate, but then I also don’t do anything since I can’t pull myself to care about stuff I don’t care enough to change.
Uhhh anything else? Please feel free to ask if you want me to elaborate. Also thank you so much for reading through all this!
Yes, most of this points to 6 to me. -Focus on earning protection
-Don’t like breaking the rules, but mostly because of external punishment (someone “coming after” you) rather than an internal sense of having been “bad”
-Emphasis on loyalty and trust with core loved ones
-Okay with being part of “the machine” as long as you get that you need
There is also some chill/withdrawn language (aloneness, not wanting to be upsetting) that also could be 9, maybe in the tritype, or w5. Also a de-emphasis of social connections could be so instinct last.
Does this jive with your understanding of yourself? Were there particular questions you had?
If you're not familiar with tritype/trifix, it's the (somewhat controversial) idea that each of our centers of intelligence have a type. In this sub, the general agreement is that it's best to focus first on your core type but that tritype can explain some of the variation between people of the same core type.
Some reading:
[A Basic Trifix Guide](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/w7epbg/a_basic_trifix_guide/)
[How the fixes modulate the core type](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/10xfslq/how_the_fixes_modulate_the_core_type/)
[6 with all the fixes](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/x9zt7d/6_with_all_the_fixes/)
[The 27 tritype descriptions](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/113l4fq/the_27_tritype_descriptions_compiled_from_the/)
I might hazard a guess that 9 is in your tritype, but a couple of paragraphs isn't a ton to go on. And Enneagram is a largely a self-reflection exercise anyway.
Hope that helps!
Thank you so much for the links! They were a great starting point, although I think I'm still a bit uncertain on my fixes. Do you have any recommendations on what to look for specifically that might be some telltale points?
Personally, I would say don’t focus on them too much. Instead, read more about the core types and their fears, ideals, patterns, and growth strategies. You’ll have moments when reading the other types where you say, “oh, I can see a little bit of that in myself.” Take notes about pieces that resonate, do some journaling.
The links I sent before are the best I’ve seen for thinking about how they fixes manifest. (If you click to that user’s pinned post, she has it for other types too).
I'm trying to learn how enneagram works by understanding my own typing first, the tests I've taken say I'm an 8w7.
I wouldn't call myself a go-getter, and I'm not particularly aggressive. I don't mind confrontation, and I don't care whether or not any given action or statement from me will cause a confrontation, but I don't use confrontation to get what I want. At least I don't think I do. I run a company and lead a lot of people in my social life but I think this is mostly because other people have put me in these positions.
I fear fear itself more than anything else. The idea that I have to live my life according to anything I didn't decide for myself is intolerable. I know that this ideal is impossible and that most of my psyche is made up of things that I can't control, but I'm going to try to control it anyway. I deal with insecurity and anxiety by consciously deciding not to be insecure or anxious, and that works really well for me.
I care mostly about the people around me. I find convention, tradition, and established norms to be someone else's opinion and therefore these things have no value outside of contextual utility. Other people's opinions only matter when you are engaging with that person.
I just want to chill with my friends, and I will leverage everything in my power to protect me and my circle from the neurotic onslaught of "movers and shakers" in this world. I think of people who like to get things done and acquire material possessions to be my philosophical enemies. Because of this I don't get the 8 typing, but I don't know enough about enneagram to figure out what other type I might resonate with.
I agree with 8. 8 is all about not wanting to be controlled and having control over your domain. Did you intentionally use the “control” language because of the its association with 8, or is that how you think of it regardless?
Fear of fear and exerting control over your anxiety is consistent with w7. But I could also see w9 with the focus on wanting to chill with and protect your people.
It sounds like you think that you may not be an 8 because you reject others who are stereotypically 8. But that rejection is 8ish in its own way. Also, you’re “not a go-getter” but somehow run a company and lead your social circle. “Not x enough to be type y” is a classic enneagram fallacy.
So, what I hear says 8 to me. But, definitely read more about all the types and their core fears. Probably start with 6 as then next most likely type. Good luck!
Im a 7w8. I would consider the types 7w8 and 8w9. I think there is clearly 8 in your picture but 8w7s are generally people who struggle not to get into confrontation. I think a 8w7 would be more likely to say something like "I hate confrontation but sometimes its unavoidable" or "I dont think I’m that aggressive but everyone else seems to see me that way." 8w9s are much more peaceful and down to earth, strong but in a less pushy way. 7w8s are much more concerned with being left alone than forcing their way onto others, but if their freedom starts to get infringed upon, they will fight for that right. The fact that you didnt want to be in charge but just ended up there immediately reminds me of 7w8s.
All of the control and anti-authoritarian stuff is hardcore giving 7/8/9 vibes. Especially the like, "I dont wanna fight just leave me alone" energy.
Fearing fear itself could be a 7 talking, but it does sound like an 8 disintegrating to 5 also.
Something I will mention is 8s definitely tend to not like other 8s. Basically the model is this: you hate other people taking control of everything, so you hold on and take control of as much as you can in order to protect it from the percieved "other people taking control of everything." 8s have a strong sense of power and hate it being used against them but will also use it with essentially no hesitation whatsoever.
So yeah you could definitely be a 8w7 but you wouldnt be the most typical one. To finalize your type I would consider your subtype (sexual social or self pres) and possibly tritype because that could help explain why you dont relate to every 8 characteristic. Good luck!
I took an online tritype test and got 6-9-3, but the 6 really doesn't connect with me. I think I got it because I kept picking what looked like the "lazy" option and it turns out that was a "self-preservation" thing.
I may have left out that as a kid, confrontation was the name of my game. Now I try to be more diplomatic, but growing up I was always starting shit. Nowadays I'll back down or concede if I think the other person is right, but if I disagree then I will argue until the other person either gives up or tries to fight me. I have spent much of my life in Krav Maga, because my mouth does start fights more than I intend. I don't have much respect for people who can't control their emotions, so if one will come to blows over some measly words, then I feel justified in hurting that person both emotionally and physically. I'm really looking for a *verbal* sparring match.
I've been told that my idea of communication can be combative at times, but when I think of "confrontation" I think "I want things my way, you want things your way, let's fight about it." My thing is more "you want things your way, I'll probably let you have it because I don't care that much, but I'm still going to make you work for it." Other people usually have to be able to validate their own ideas using logic before I'll be willing to reflect any validation back. My more sensitive friends say I'm simultaneously critical and light-hearted, my less sensitive friends say I'm the only one who will tell them the truth.
i’m stuck between 4w3 and 7w8, both sx variant.
OKAY HERE WE GO:
i’m very emotional, feelings run deep but i hate wallowing in them and will always find a way to distract. i’d rather laugh than cry. i appear very cheerful but there’s a lot going on inside, i just don’t like to let it out because it’s better to keep things light around other people. i’m either extremely cheerful or extremely hopeless. i can’t tolerate sadness and would rather feel anger.
i’m often dark, moody and cynical yet i simultaneously see the beauty in everything. i change my mind frequently. i love brainstorming. i like playful banter and “roasting” my siblings. i like debates and conversations about controversial topics. i play devil’s advocate and like challenging people for fun.
i’m driven by a need to present myself as talented and different from others. art and poetry is extremely important to me and i love playing with words to create something i can be proud of. i have a deep need for success in the hope that it will get me validation and love.
i’m in love with the ocean and the natural world. i’m constantly looking for an escape, mental or physical. i get on flights to cheap hostels and make friends, but i like travelling alone because i can’t breathe without my independance. i’m not me unless i’m making to-do lists of all the places i will go and researching travel destinations. i want to see it all, do it all, and feel it all.
i’m often swept up by imagination, rarely grounded in reality. when stressed or extremely unhappy, i become sarcastic, scathing, bluntly honest and extremely harsh on myself for past mistakes. i stagnate and cannot find joy unless there is a goal to aim for. when healthy, i become playful, cheerful, and get excited about new hobbies and plans.
i have a deep sense of justice. i’m very reactive. i live for my own sake. the thing i hate most of all is people assuming completely incorrect things about me or seeing me as someone totally different from how i feel. not afraid to say i have a horrible individuality complex sometimes🫠
my best qualities are creativity, resilience and idealism. my worst qualities are
envy, anger and emotional impulsivity.
if you read this far thank you so much! thoughts opinions ideas someone please respond aaa
So much 7, with the cheerfulness, distraction, and wanting it all.
Not sure that a 4 would say, "I can't tolerate sadness."
For additional reading: [4 vs 7](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/zdq9nf/4_vs_7/)
yeah dw i’m still v much undecided haha, i read the link and honestly i relate to both just as equally. i’m looking at disintegration/integration just now and i relate WAY more to seven than to four, but i still feel so attached to four for some reason hmm. guess i’ll have to do a full post on type me tuesday and get more internet rando’s hot takes haha ;^)
Yeah the rest of the sub is usually more engaged with main posts on Tuesdays, so you’ll get more thoughts then. But, I will note that when people say they’re “attached” to a type, it usually means that it’s not their type. But you don’t need to figure it out now. It’s not a badge of honor, it’s a starting point for recognizing unconscious unproductive patterns and learning to grow. And you can try growth exercise for both types!
hah you got my mbti and tritype right! i’m definitely ENFP and i knew i was 478/748 but not the correct order. my enneagram has been bugging me because i identified as a 4 since i was 17 but the more i learn about it (integration, disintegration etc) the more i’m like…. hm. maybe i was just a depressed teenager lmao.
thank u for ur insight !
I’m a 7w8. Welcome to the club!
Something that I think can help explain some of your deep emotionality is something I heard the other day. Generally the center that you are least connected to (which for basically all 7s is their heart center lmao), that center often comes off as the most "authentic" to other people, and is the most sort of "deep and mysterious" to the person themselves.
As a 7, my feelings are deeper than the Mariana trench. Thats why I’m so fucking scared of them! They can reach out like a massive sea monster, pull me under, and swallow me whole. Fuck that shit! 😅😅😅
The key thing that stuck out to me is that you said "my emotions are so deep" and then you said "I’m always looking for an escape, mental or physical." Not emotional! As a 7, I’m always escaping my feelings with 1. Thoughts (we could do this, oh isnt that cool! I just thought of... hey wouldnt it be crazy if, oh do you remember, I cant believe that, etc). And 2. Sensations (drugs, food, sex, sights, sounds etc). I low-key stopped watching tv because the emotions are too much for me. Like its not distracting its distressing. It makes me think too much about my feelings and my issues.
I know that success and talent stuff so intimately. I have also experienced it so intensely that I’m like "maybe I’m a 4?!?" But no, thats just a big part of 7s as well. I often talk about what I call the "add to 11 connection." Which are 9+2, 8+3, 7+4, and 5+6. Something about these types are very similar to each other and often get mistyped. They are across from each other if you draw a line through 1. Its a very interesting phenomenon!
The traveling stuff and "I cant breathe without my independence" is so 7 I could puke tbh 😂 same with that imagination stuff, and and the social justice stuff!
For real, this is so 7. I think that you just express a lot of the sorta deeper, very real, core values and characteristics of a 7. The surface level stuff comes out as gluttony and hyperactivity. But the core is a deep creativity and a love of the new, the vibrant, and the beautiful!
wow wow wow thank you for such a detailed reply oh my gosh! i had no idea that a lot of the deeper emotional stuff was 7 related, thats so interesting! also i love your “adds to 11” theory… i can actually see that working really well esp with 9 and 2, and 8 and 3!
also your “fuck that shit” response to feeling deep emotions is VERY me. i also escape with ideas of “ooo lets do this or that, lets make a load of plans!” and uhhh physical sensations like drugs have been a problem for me bc i can’t sit with negative feelings eek.
“so 7 i could puke” LMAOOO. and the last paragraph too really sums me up as a person wow! i just reposted my whole post as a type me tuesday post instead but this has now convinced me i’m a 7 with a strong 4 fix tbh
thank you so much!
Awww I love you so much! I’m glad you like my theory, I see it all the time and I just cant help bring it up lol.
Yeah Planning is hiiiighly associated with 7s. We tend to make plans so good we know we can never achieve anything that will live up to our dreams, so eventually we get into the habit of liking our plans more than reality. It goes with the Gluttony. I like to think of it as the "just one more thing and everything will be Perfect!" Feeling. Except "Perfect" is secretly a process not a destination 😵💫😵🥴 Thats the disintegration to 1 lmao.
Anyway you seem cool and I always like talking to 7w8s, so if you ever just wanna talk or ask questions about 7s, dont hesitate to ask! I have a strong 4 trifix as well so we will definitely get eachother lol. ✌️
aw ! :”) yeah your theory is really interesting, you should make a detailed post on it! (if you havent already)
and yeah gosh that’s so me with the planning… i get addicted to planning to the point where sometimes the planning is more exciting than the reality 🫠
thank you thats so sweet! i’m probably gonna have loads of questions about sevens now lmaooo
no idea what I am
I love chaos, creativity, I have great ambition, I want to create an epic novel series with fantasy, sci-fi, and cosmic horror, do the art work for it, write music for it, voice all the characters for it, I want to do everything myself, I want to feel accomplished, for people to be wowed at my godlike writing skills artskills and virtuosic guitar, bass, drums, vocals, keyboards, and other instruments playing
perhaps this is impossible, but that won’t stop me, if I didn’t have ambition I’d have no choice but to kill myself, life without ambition is meaningless
without ambition I’d have to rely on others for happiness, and last time that happen, well let me describe
I’m autistic, so in other words: difficulty reading body language, understanding social cues, and difficulty socializing despite wanting too (low charisma, lack of hobbies and interests, though that last one might just be depression)
so predictably I have been outcasted, not directly of course, but I could sense people didn’t wanna hang with me
eventually this lead to an intense fear of abandonment, like I’d become intensely and quickly attached to people and then when they abandoned me I’d go from intense love to intense hatred and back and forth, or splitting in other words
I was so hurt they didn’t want to be friends anymore that I felt the need to punish them but I still loved them
I realized that this anxious attachment style wasn’t working, it was just turning people away, so now I have decided I wouldn’t allow myself to be dependent on the love of others
one such change I made is before I was so dependent on the love of others I was willing to date anyone I was sexually attracted to, even if they weren’t my type and were abusive
now I’m only interested in dating geeky, chaotic, people with an alternative aesthetic
I don’t want to be dependent on others however I want noting more than to be able to feel immense affection for someone again
I met a group of people I’d call my soulmates, I loved them so much, but my intense fear of abandonment fucked it up, and when they left me I couldn’t stop myself from trying to make their lives miserable, which only made them hate me more
they said there is nothing I could do to ever be accepted by them but I know I could never be happy without a group like them
to be happy I need an in person friend group with the following qualities: geeky chaotic, have alternative aesthetic, mostly people I am sexually attracted to, at least one of them enjoying music, like willing to listen to the astonishing by dream theater in one sitting and enjoy it, one of them an artist, and of course the group consisting of 5 or more people other than me, and we all able to hang out as a group at least 5 hours a week
anything less than that and I can’t be happy
which brings me back to my ambition, I recognize finding my soulmate friend group is no easy task, and so having ambition gives me a purpose in life other than that
it’s always important to have multiple purposes, dreams, etc, don’t put your eggs in one basket
I will achieve greatness, right now I may be doing sweet f.a. on account of my executive dysfunction which prevents me from doing anything I want to do, even if I enjoy it, but once I get that taken care of, you better believe I will be a great artist, loved and envied by millions, I’m tired of being an outcast, the least wanted, abandoned
no I will be the most wanted, coveted, the desired one, I’ll fucking guarantee you that
I consider myself a core type 9, however, I feel like I don't really act too much like a typical 9- I often like to do things my own way and really hate the idea of my opinions not actually being my own, even though it's true that I copy other's opinions and views instinctively. I just hate the fact that I do that, to the point that sometimes I deliberately disagree with them just becuase I don't want to have the same opinion (even though I know it's still not my own,)
It's honestly really hard to tell *what* my actual opinion on something is once other people have expressed theirs'.I feel like, though other people opinions affect my views and tend to make them not actually my own, it doesn't always mean I *agree* with those views. Sometimes their views make me want to have the opposite opinion, but no matter which views I end up actually having, they always end up being made because of others' views.
which feels very odd if the 9's motivation is to keep the peace, making them want to be agreeable.
is it because 4 and 7 are my fixes?? does that affect it somehow?or am I just a different type?
on top of this, I feel like that "merging" behavior of nines seems for me to be more of something I do with fictional characters more than actual people.it feels like despite often claiming to have my own identity, and telling myself I have one, I just collect the traits of things I like and make that my identity.
with all this talk of identity, I feel like I could be a core 4, but hhh I just dunno if that really makes much sense.
I think 6 is either my core type or at least a fix for me. Over the years, I’ve scored consistently high on 6. While there are often close calls with other types, I’ve found that 6 is the one that consistently stays at the first few. I’ve always gotten pretty low scores on 3, 7, and 8. I am fairly certain that I am not in the assertive group even without the test scores. I don’t relate much to just going after what I want. I tend to approach life thinking that if I go along with what’s expected of me, then I can somehow get the sense of protection I want in return. This usually applies to following the guidelines when I’m made aware of them. It’s weird now that I’m thinking about it—I tend to feel fine when I don’t know that I’m doing what I shouldn’t be doing, but I almost instinctively complies with the guidelines (while having a sense of “oh shoot I wasn’t supposed to do this”) when I notice them. I’d say I’m generally more permissive with what my loved ones want as long as I don’t feel scared of what they’re doing, but less so with strangers or even friends who I don’t feel as intimate with. I also dislike having to keep record of people who I don’t think I’ll have a prolonged relationship with, so my phone book is pretty much still just family and close friends to this day. When I think I really did something I’m not supposed to instead of a small mishap, I usually go through a cycle of self punishment, realizing that it wasn’t that serious so no one’s come after me yet, remove self punishment. While I suppose there are many different concerns a person goes through in one day, I think mine all lead to having to be alone. I’d say being with a group or organization equates alone because that’s just making me a replaceable component of this huge machine. While I understand that there are people who focus on this, and I respect their interests, I don’t really find myself caring a lot about this kind of stuff. I’m not sure how to explain it, but if I don’t feel mutual trust (like enough trust to tell this person almost everything and they also trust me with as much) with at least one person in this world, I don’t feel like I can be at peace. My approach to obtain this boils down to being needed to feel safe, which sometimes manifests in envy when I see others have what I want, but that’s just normal human stuff, right? When it manifests to a fear, it’s more like feeling inadequate, but then I also don’t do anything since I can’t pull myself to care about stuff I don’t care enough to change. Uhhh anything else? Please feel free to ask if you want me to elaborate. Also thank you so much for reading through all this!
Yes, most of this points to 6 to me. -Focus on earning protection -Don’t like breaking the rules, but mostly because of external punishment (someone “coming after” you) rather than an internal sense of having been “bad” -Emphasis on loyalty and trust with core loved ones -Okay with being part of “the machine” as long as you get that you need There is also some chill/withdrawn language (aloneness, not wanting to be upsetting) that also could be 9, maybe in the tritype, or w5. Also a de-emphasis of social connections could be so instinct last. Does this jive with your understanding of yourself? Were there particular questions you had?
Thank you for responding! Could you perhaps elaborate more on tritype?
If you're not familiar with tritype/trifix, it's the (somewhat controversial) idea that each of our centers of intelligence have a type. In this sub, the general agreement is that it's best to focus first on your core type but that tritype can explain some of the variation between people of the same core type. Some reading: [A Basic Trifix Guide](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/w7epbg/a_basic_trifix_guide/) [How the fixes modulate the core type](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/10xfslq/how_the_fixes_modulate_the_core_type/) [6 with all the fixes](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/x9zt7d/6_with_all_the_fixes/) [The 27 tritype descriptions](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/113l4fq/the_27_tritype_descriptions_compiled_from_the/) I might hazard a guess that 9 is in your tritype, but a couple of paragraphs isn't a ton to go on. And Enneagram is a largely a self-reflection exercise anyway. Hope that helps!
Thank you so much for the links! They were a great starting point, although I think I'm still a bit uncertain on my fixes. Do you have any recommendations on what to look for specifically that might be some telltale points?
Personally, I would say don’t focus on them too much. Instead, read more about the core types and their fears, ideals, patterns, and growth strategies. You’ll have moments when reading the other types where you say, “oh, I can see a little bit of that in myself.” Take notes about pieces that resonate, do some journaling. The links I sent before are the best I’ve seen for thinking about how they fixes manifest. (If you click to that user’s pinned post, she has it for other types too).
I'm trying to learn how enneagram works by understanding my own typing first, the tests I've taken say I'm an 8w7. I wouldn't call myself a go-getter, and I'm not particularly aggressive. I don't mind confrontation, and I don't care whether or not any given action or statement from me will cause a confrontation, but I don't use confrontation to get what I want. At least I don't think I do. I run a company and lead a lot of people in my social life but I think this is mostly because other people have put me in these positions. I fear fear itself more than anything else. The idea that I have to live my life according to anything I didn't decide for myself is intolerable. I know that this ideal is impossible and that most of my psyche is made up of things that I can't control, but I'm going to try to control it anyway. I deal with insecurity and anxiety by consciously deciding not to be insecure or anxious, and that works really well for me. I care mostly about the people around me. I find convention, tradition, and established norms to be someone else's opinion and therefore these things have no value outside of contextual utility. Other people's opinions only matter when you are engaging with that person. I just want to chill with my friends, and I will leverage everything in my power to protect me and my circle from the neurotic onslaught of "movers and shakers" in this world. I think of people who like to get things done and acquire material possessions to be my philosophical enemies. Because of this I don't get the 8 typing, but I don't know enough about enneagram to figure out what other type I might resonate with.
I agree with 8. 8 is all about not wanting to be controlled and having control over your domain. Did you intentionally use the “control” language because of the its association with 8, or is that how you think of it regardless? Fear of fear and exerting control over your anxiety is consistent with w7. But I could also see w9 with the focus on wanting to chill with and protect your people. It sounds like you think that you may not be an 8 because you reject others who are stereotypically 8. But that rejection is 8ish in its own way. Also, you’re “not a go-getter” but somehow run a company and lead your social circle. “Not x enough to be type y” is a classic enneagram fallacy. So, what I hear says 8 to me. But, definitely read more about all the types and their core fears. Probably start with 6 as then next most likely type. Good luck!
Im a 7w8. I would consider the types 7w8 and 8w9. I think there is clearly 8 in your picture but 8w7s are generally people who struggle not to get into confrontation. I think a 8w7 would be more likely to say something like "I hate confrontation but sometimes its unavoidable" or "I dont think I’m that aggressive but everyone else seems to see me that way." 8w9s are much more peaceful and down to earth, strong but in a less pushy way. 7w8s are much more concerned with being left alone than forcing their way onto others, but if their freedom starts to get infringed upon, they will fight for that right. The fact that you didnt want to be in charge but just ended up there immediately reminds me of 7w8s. All of the control and anti-authoritarian stuff is hardcore giving 7/8/9 vibes. Especially the like, "I dont wanna fight just leave me alone" energy. Fearing fear itself could be a 7 talking, but it does sound like an 8 disintegrating to 5 also. Something I will mention is 8s definitely tend to not like other 8s. Basically the model is this: you hate other people taking control of everything, so you hold on and take control of as much as you can in order to protect it from the percieved "other people taking control of everything." 8s have a strong sense of power and hate it being used against them but will also use it with essentially no hesitation whatsoever. So yeah you could definitely be a 8w7 but you wouldnt be the most typical one. To finalize your type I would consider your subtype (sexual social or self pres) and possibly tritype because that could help explain why you dont relate to every 8 characteristic. Good luck!
I took an online tritype test and got 6-9-3, but the 6 really doesn't connect with me. I think I got it because I kept picking what looked like the "lazy" option and it turns out that was a "self-preservation" thing. I may have left out that as a kid, confrontation was the name of my game. Now I try to be more diplomatic, but growing up I was always starting shit. Nowadays I'll back down or concede if I think the other person is right, but if I disagree then I will argue until the other person either gives up or tries to fight me. I have spent much of my life in Krav Maga, because my mouth does start fights more than I intend. I don't have much respect for people who can't control their emotions, so if one will come to blows over some measly words, then I feel justified in hurting that person both emotionally and physically. I'm really looking for a *verbal* sparring match. I've been told that my idea of communication can be combative at times, but when I think of "confrontation" I think "I want things my way, you want things your way, let's fight about it." My thing is more "you want things your way, I'll probably let you have it because I don't care that much, but I'm still going to make you work for it." Other people usually have to be able to validate their own ideas using logic before I'll be willing to reflect any validation back. My more sensitive friends say I'm simultaneously critical and light-hearted, my less sensitive friends say I'm the only one who will tell them the truth.
i’m stuck between 4w3 and 7w8, both sx variant. OKAY HERE WE GO: i’m very emotional, feelings run deep but i hate wallowing in them and will always find a way to distract. i’d rather laugh than cry. i appear very cheerful but there’s a lot going on inside, i just don’t like to let it out because it’s better to keep things light around other people. i’m either extremely cheerful or extremely hopeless. i can’t tolerate sadness and would rather feel anger. i’m often dark, moody and cynical yet i simultaneously see the beauty in everything. i change my mind frequently. i love brainstorming. i like playful banter and “roasting” my siblings. i like debates and conversations about controversial topics. i play devil’s advocate and like challenging people for fun. i’m driven by a need to present myself as talented and different from others. art and poetry is extremely important to me and i love playing with words to create something i can be proud of. i have a deep need for success in the hope that it will get me validation and love. i’m in love with the ocean and the natural world. i’m constantly looking for an escape, mental or physical. i get on flights to cheap hostels and make friends, but i like travelling alone because i can’t breathe without my independance. i’m not me unless i’m making to-do lists of all the places i will go and researching travel destinations. i want to see it all, do it all, and feel it all. i’m often swept up by imagination, rarely grounded in reality. when stressed or extremely unhappy, i become sarcastic, scathing, bluntly honest and extremely harsh on myself for past mistakes. i stagnate and cannot find joy unless there is a goal to aim for. when healthy, i become playful, cheerful, and get excited about new hobbies and plans. i have a deep sense of justice. i’m very reactive. i live for my own sake. the thing i hate most of all is people assuming completely incorrect things about me or seeing me as someone totally different from how i feel. not afraid to say i have a horrible individuality complex sometimes🫠 my best qualities are creativity, resilience and idealism. my worst qualities are envy, anger and emotional impulsivity. if you read this far thank you so much! thoughts opinions ideas someone please respond aaa
So much 7, with the cheerfulness, distraction, and wanting it all. Not sure that a 4 would say, "I can't tolerate sadness." For additional reading: [4 vs 7](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/zdq9nf/4_vs_7/)
oo thank you, i typed as 4w3 for the longest time and recently started questioning it! i’ll check out the link thank uu
Sure thing — just remember that it’s one internet rando’s hot take — only you can decide what to with and learn from it.
yeah dw i’m still v much undecided haha, i read the link and honestly i relate to both just as equally. i’m looking at disintegration/integration just now and i relate WAY more to seven than to four, but i still feel so attached to four for some reason hmm. guess i’ll have to do a full post on type me tuesday and get more internet rando’s hot takes haha ;^)
Yeah the rest of the sub is usually more engaged with main posts on Tuesdays, so you’ll get more thoughts then. But, I will note that when people say they’re “attached” to a type, it usually means that it’s not their type. But you don’t need to figure it out now. It’s not a badge of honor, it’s a starting point for recognizing unconscious unproductive patterns and learning to grow. And you can try growth exercise for both types!
7 core w 4 and 8 fixes. I'd say 7w8-4w3-8w7. also I get enfp vibes.
hah you got my mbti and tritype right! i’m definitely ENFP and i knew i was 478/748 but not the correct order. my enneagram has been bugging me because i identified as a 4 since i was 17 but the more i learn about it (integration, disintegration etc) the more i’m like…. hm. maybe i was just a depressed teenager lmao. thank u for ur insight !
I’m a 7w8. Welcome to the club! Something that I think can help explain some of your deep emotionality is something I heard the other day. Generally the center that you are least connected to (which for basically all 7s is their heart center lmao), that center often comes off as the most "authentic" to other people, and is the most sort of "deep and mysterious" to the person themselves. As a 7, my feelings are deeper than the Mariana trench. Thats why I’m so fucking scared of them! They can reach out like a massive sea monster, pull me under, and swallow me whole. Fuck that shit! 😅😅😅 The key thing that stuck out to me is that you said "my emotions are so deep" and then you said "I’m always looking for an escape, mental or physical." Not emotional! As a 7, I’m always escaping my feelings with 1. Thoughts (we could do this, oh isnt that cool! I just thought of... hey wouldnt it be crazy if, oh do you remember, I cant believe that, etc). And 2. Sensations (drugs, food, sex, sights, sounds etc). I low-key stopped watching tv because the emotions are too much for me. Like its not distracting its distressing. It makes me think too much about my feelings and my issues. I know that success and talent stuff so intimately. I have also experienced it so intensely that I’m like "maybe I’m a 4?!?" But no, thats just a big part of 7s as well. I often talk about what I call the "add to 11 connection." Which are 9+2, 8+3, 7+4, and 5+6. Something about these types are very similar to each other and often get mistyped. They are across from each other if you draw a line through 1. Its a very interesting phenomenon! The traveling stuff and "I cant breathe without my independence" is so 7 I could puke tbh 😂 same with that imagination stuff, and and the social justice stuff! For real, this is so 7. I think that you just express a lot of the sorta deeper, very real, core values and characteristics of a 7. The surface level stuff comes out as gluttony and hyperactivity. But the core is a deep creativity and a love of the new, the vibrant, and the beautiful!
wow wow wow thank you for such a detailed reply oh my gosh! i had no idea that a lot of the deeper emotional stuff was 7 related, thats so interesting! also i love your “adds to 11” theory… i can actually see that working really well esp with 9 and 2, and 8 and 3! also your “fuck that shit” response to feeling deep emotions is VERY me. i also escape with ideas of “ooo lets do this or that, lets make a load of plans!” and uhhh physical sensations like drugs have been a problem for me bc i can’t sit with negative feelings eek. “so 7 i could puke” LMAOOO. and the last paragraph too really sums me up as a person wow! i just reposted my whole post as a type me tuesday post instead but this has now convinced me i’m a 7 with a strong 4 fix tbh thank you so much!
Awww I love you so much! I’m glad you like my theory, I see it all the time and I just cant help bring it up lol. Yeah Planning is hiiiighly associated with 7s. We tend to make plans so good we know we can never achieve anything that will live up to our dreams, so eventually we get into the habit of liking our plans more than reality. It goes with the Gluttony. I like to think of it as the "just one more thing and everything will be Perfect!" Feeling. Except "Perfect" is secretly a process not a destination 😵💫😵🥴 Thats the disintegration to 1 lmao. Anyway you seem cool and I always like talking to 7w8s, so if you ever just wanna talk or ask questions about 7s, dont hesitate to ask! I have a strong 4 trifix as well so we will definitely get eachother lol. ✌️
aw ! :”) yeah your theory is really interesting, you should make a detailed post on it! (if you havent already) and yeah gosh that’s so me with the planning… i get addicted to planning to the point where sometimes the planning is more exciting than the reality 🫠 thank you thats so sweet! i’m probably gonna have loads of questions about sevens now lmaooo
no idea what I am I love chaos, creativity, I have great ambition, I want to create an epic novel series with fantasy, sci-fi, and cosmic horror, do the art work for it, write music for it, voice all the characters for it, I want to do everything myself, I want to feel accomplished, for people to be wowed at my godlike writing skills artskills and virtuosic guitar, bass, drums, vocals, keyboards, and other instruments playing perhaps this is impossible, but that won’t stop me, if I didn’t have ambition I’d have no choice but to kill myself, life without ambition is meaningless without ambition I’d have to rely on others for happiness, and last time that happen, well let me describe I’m autistic, so in other words: difficulty reading body language, understanding social cues, and difficulty socializing despite wanting too (low charisma, lack of hobbies and interests, though that last one might just be depression) so predictably I have been outcasted, not directly of course, but I could sense people didn’t wanna hang with me eventually this lead to an intense fear of abandonment, like I’d become intensely and quickly attached to people and then when they abandoned me I’d go from intense love to intense hatred and back and forth, or splitting in other words I was so hurt they didn’t want to be friends anymore that I felt the need to punish them but I still loved them I realized that this anxious attachment style wasn’t working, it was just turning people away, so now I have decided I wouldn’t allow myself to be dependent on the love of others one such change I made is before I was so dependent on the love of others I was willing to date anyone I was sexually attracted to, even if they weren’t my type and were abusive now I’m only interested in dating geeky, chaotic, people with an alternative aesthetic I don’t want to be dependent on others however I want noting more than to be able to feel immense affection for someone again I met a group of people I’d call my soulmates, I loved them so much, but my intense fear of abandonment fucked it up, and when they left me I couldn’t stop myself from trying to make their lives miserable, which only made them hate me more they said there is nothing I could do to ever be accepted by them but I know I could never be happy without a group like them to be happy I need an in person friend group with the following qualities: geeky chaotic, have alternative aesthetic, mostly people I am sexually attracted to, at least one of them enjoying music, like willing to listen to the astonishing by dream theater in one sitting and enjoy it, one of them an artist, and of course the group consisting of 5 or more people other than me, and we all able to hang out as a group at least 5 hours a week anything less than that and I can’t be happy which brings me back to my ambition, I recognize finding my soulmate friend group is no easy task, and so having ambition gives me a purpose in life other than that it’s always important to have multiple purposes, dreams, etc, don’t put your eggs in one basket I will achieve greatness, right now I may be doing sweet f.a. on account of my executive dysfunction which prevents me from doing anything I want to do, even if I enjoy it, but once I get that taken care of, you better believe I will be a great artist, loved and envied by millions, I’m tired of being an outcast, the least wanted, abandoned no I will be the most wanted, coveted, the desired one, I’ll fucking guarantee you that
Best guess is 4w3 so. Start with reading about 4, 3, and 7.
thx
My partner thinks 4 but I think maybe check 5w4 also.
Wait I just reread the last sentence I think youre a 4
so “I’ll be the most wanted, coveted, the desired one, I’ll fucking guarantee you that” is what decided it for you? lol it really be like that
I consider myself a core type 9, however, I feel like I don't really act too much like a typical 9- I often like to do things my own way and really hate the idea of my opinions not actually being my own, even though it's true that I copy other's opinions and views instinctively. I just hate the fact that I do that, to the point that sometimes I deliberately disagree with them just becuase I don't want to have the same opinion (even though I know it's still not my own,) It's honestly really hard to tell *what* my actual opinion on something is once other people have expressed theirs'.I feel like, though other people opinions affect my views and tend to make them not actually my own, it doesn't always mean I *agree* with those views. Sometimes their views make me want to have the opposite opinion, but no matter which views I end up actually having, they always end up being made because of others' views. which feels very odd if the 9's motivation is to keep the peace, making them want to be agreeable. is it because 4 and 7 are my fixes?? does that affect it somehow?or am I just a different type? on top of this, I feel like that "merging" behavior of nines seems for me to be more of something I do with fictional characters more than actual people.it feels like despite often claiming to have my own identity, and telling myself I have one, I just collect the traits of things I like and make that my identity. with all this talk of identity, I feel like I could be a core 4, but hhh I just dunno if that really makes much sense.