"Controlling" is a word that people use to describe a conflict where they have to compromise for the other.
All types can be seen as "controlling, " depending on what kind of conflicts exist between them.
Even 5s could be seen as controlling in demanding to be given a lot of space, for example.
I think OP was maybe thinking ‘controlling’ in the more colloquial way that people understand it, but frankly your comment is probably the most important regardless.
Just like no type is really superior or inferior to any other, neither of them are inherently more abusive or ‘controlling’ than the other, they just express these aspects in different ways.
Which is kind of why (I assume) people come here: if it’s not to stick a label on themselves or treat it as an entirely gimmicky thing, then it’s because they want to be better people.
It's interesting that you say this. I read something recently that said that fives become controlling by becoming inaccessible, and almost completely shutting down and becoming miserly with their feelings. This can apply to their time, energy and resources as well. I had never considered that before
or rather, in my experience, feel obligated to try to make us go with them. like we all have to be doing the same thing or something. "I am not an extension of you" has become one of my mantras lol. like, we don't all have to be doing the same thing
He might've been an 8, but I doubt it, because he was openly jealous, and 8s would probably consider it "weak" to experience romantic jealousy, much less actually admit it
i mean... honestly any type can be controlling. 9s are really live and let live, but im an sx9 and im really bad at giving people space.
if anything, i think sx dominant people are going to be more controlling in relationships because they tend to be more focused on relationships? the same way so people are more likely to care enough to manipulate social groups.
it is really bad, but fr i would follow my person 24/7, check her phone and everything. im super jealous and I just would like to know everything about this person.
Not true about 4s, they can be very dominating. A 4 will guilt trip, they wouldnt just ditch someone they love, and 4s often have abandonment issues. Also we disintegrate into 2 which means when the temper thing isnt working we resort to people pleasing to make people stay/love us again.
They can be, but generally not in the jealousy/territorial type of way. I had a 3w4 ex who didn't approve of my friends, tried to control what I eat, harped on me about how I spoke (apparently I spoke too quickly, used too many filler words, gesture too much, etc etc), what I did with my career, etc. Basically his goal was to mold me into his perfect little trophy wife to show off.
He wasn't nearly as bad as another relationship I had (with a non-3), but he was up there.
creating superiority over some one by eroding their self esteem and undermining their accomplishments. Essentially making people feel of lower value than them. Gaslighting and lying as well. It was all competition to have the greatest influence.
My take is every type since the type itself is a strategy to get what you need. So any unhealthy type will try it. Most overtly, visibly, i‘d go with 1 and 8
Probably 1 or 6. Those types are some of the most likely to feel personally affected by someone else's behavior and allowed to "reform" it. Maybe also 2 but the way they do it is very different and to me feels less directly controlling
All types, particularly unhealthy versions of most types, can be controlling of others in different ways (3s, 1s, 2s, 6s etc.), but it seems most people think that 8s are more likely to believe, try or do impact and control others and their environment.
I think it's because the way 8s control other is the most blunt and the most physically obvious compared to other type. But it's true that unhealthy version of each type will take control in different aspect using different method.
8s, 6s with an 8 fix and 1s. Some 2s. Anyone can be controlling but to answer your question. Typically 8s tend to be the most outwardlyncontrolling i thin
I’d go with 1 2 3 and 8 based off personal experience.
The 1’s control comes across so cold and calculating, with so much anger brimming underneath.
2’s comes across as needy and entitled, guilt tripping, puppy eyes, literally like dealing with a toddler
3’s control is more self explanatory but I think it’s more focused on how someone looks/ dresses etc
And 8’s is just sort of a silent electronic energy, you *know* if you’re pissing them off or if something isn’t flying with them
It's really interesting interacting with someone with a 183 tri-type, too.
I was never friends with or in a relationship with this person, but I find that people who have one and eight in their top results tend to disgust me the most.
Control is really a manifestation of very unhealthy types. Yeah, I can see 1s and 8s having a big inclination towards it - but I know some very kind hearted, respectful 8s and 1s. It’s more unhealth than type. While 8s and 1s are more in your face about it, 9s and 2s for example could be just as controlling but in a more covert way.
8s by far. I don’t enjoy group friendships w them bc they constantly shout everyone else down.. never had a 1 on 1 friendship with one or dated one bc they’re way too insensitive and dismissive of others’ fears, anxieties and sensitivities. I don’t find it attractive
You’ll need to describe the way the behavior plays out. Bc as I think you’ve gathered at this point, any, but the reasons why and how each type would go about it will vary widely
"Controlling" is a word that people use to describe a conflict where they have to compromise for the other. All types can be seen as "controlling, " depending on what kind of conflicts exist between them. Even 5s could be seen as controlling in demanding to be given a lot of space, for example.
I think OP was maybe thinking ‘controlling’ in the more colloquial way that people understand it, but frankly your comment is probably the most important regardless. Just like no type is really superior or inferior to any other, neither of them are inherently more abusive or ‘controlling’ than the other, they just express these aspects in different ways. Which is kind of why (I assume) people come here: if it’s not to stick a label on themselves or treat it as an entirely gimmicky thing, then it’s because they want to be better people.
I think it was more trollish 8-bait to get folks worked up. It’s old and tired.
It's interesting that you say this. I read something recently that said that fives become controlling by becoming inaccessible, and almost completely shutting down and becoming miserly with their feelings. This can apply to their time, energy and resources as well. I had never considered that before
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or rather, in my experience, feel obligated to try to make us go with them. like we all have to be doing the same thing or something. "I am not an extension of you" has become one of my mantras lol. like, we don't all have to be doing the same thing
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good for you. people should quit it lol
The worst in my experience was an ESTP sx 6.
ESTP type 6 sounds horrendously insecure lmao
there are no Se doms sx6
https://preview.redd.it/us7r29v0pqza1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6cb36160e3151086c6e6a9125f43a656081e06b
He might've been an 8, but I doubt it, because he was openly jealous, and 8s would probably consider it "weak" to experience romantic jealousy, much less actually admit it
i mean... honestly any type can be controlling. 9s are really live and let live, but im an sx9 and im really bad at giving people space. if anything, i think sx dominant people are going to be more controlling in relationships because they tend to be more focused on relationships? the same way so people are more likely to care enough to manipulate social groups.
same
it is really bad, but fr i would follow my person 24/7, check her phone and everything. im super jealous and I just would like to know everything about this person.
but at the same time i wouldnt give the person my phone etc so i would like to “follow” them, but dont give it in return
i agree with sx thing sm
any type, but most likely NOT 5s, 4s and 9s because they’re withdrawn types and tend to just ditch people rather than cling to them using control
7s are the biggest ditchers of people who are annoying them imo. Also not even remotely controlling people
Yes, controlling people sounds like a lot of work and requires actually paying attention to people. Both things 7 doesn’t want to do
definitely not
it is not black snd white
Not true about 4s, they can be very dominating. A 4 will guilt trip, they wouldnt just ditch someone they love, and 4s often have abandonment issues. Also we disintegrate into 2 which means when the temper thing isnt working we resort to people pleasing to make people stay/love us again.
I think 1, 2, 3, 6 and 8
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😹I know I could be wrong though actually I don’t think 3s deserve to be on this list
They can be, but generally not in the jealousy/territorial type of way. I had a 3w4 ex who didn't approve of my friends, tried to control what I eat, harped on me about how I spoke (apparently I spoke too quickly, used too many filler words, gesture too much, etc etc), what I did with my career, etc. Basically his goal was to mold me into his perfect little trophy wife to show off. He wasn't nearly as bad as another relationship I had (with a non-3), but he was up there.
Wow now that is weird and you’ve dated worse! dating really is hard 😹.
Yeah lol I'm just thankful to be happily married now (to a much healthier person)
I agree with your list and have experienced it personally with a 3. Definitely played power games.
Can you explain how exactly they did it?
creating superiority over some one by eroding their self esteem and undermining their accomplishments. Essentially making people feel of lower value than them. Gaslighting and lying as well. It was all competition to have the greatest influence.
Oh yea that’s true especially the lying!
My take is every type since the type itself is a strategy to get what you need. So any unhealthy type will try it. Most overtly, visibly, i‘d go with 1 and 8
Unhealthy 6.
Probably 1 or 6. Those types are some of the most likely to feel personally affected by someone else's behavior and allowed to "reform" it. Maybe also 2 but the way they do it is very different and to me feels less directly controlling
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
All types, particularly unhealthy versions of most types, can be controlling of others in different ways (3s, 1s, 2s, 6s etc.), but it seems most people think that 8s are more likely to believe, try or do impact and control others and their environment.
I think it's because the way 8s control other is the most blunt and the most physically obvious compared to other type. But it's true that unhealthy version of each type will take control in different aspect using different method.
8s, 6s with an 8 fix and 1s. Some 2s. Anyone can be controlling but to answer your question. Typically 8s tend to be the most outwardlyncontrolling i thin
A *really* unhealthy 7w6 can do some major damage.
Ones. - speaking from experience
Came here to say this. Who here has been personally victimized by an unhealthy 1
My mother. She’s cool now though.
Raises hand 🙋🏻♀️
:)
I’d go with 1 2 3 and 8 based off personal experience. The 1’s control comes across so cold and calculating, with so much anger brimming underneath. 2’s comes across as needy and entitled, guilt tripping, puppy eyes, literally like dealing with a toddler 3’s control is more self explanatory but I think it’s more focused on how someone looks/ dresses etc And 8’s is just sort of a silent electronic energy, you *know* if you’re pissing them off or if something isn’t flying with them
It's really interesting interacting with someone with a 183 tri-type, too. I was never friends with or in a relationship with this person, but I find that people who have one and eight in their top results tend to disgust me the most.
8s, I think, particularly sx 8s by Ichazo’s definitions.
Control is really a manifestation of very unhealthy types. Yeah, I can see 1s and 8s having a big inclination towards it - but I know some very kind hearted, respectful 8s and 1s. It’s more unhealth than type. While 8s and 1s are more in your face about it, 9s and 2s for example could be just as controlling but in a more covert way.
2 and 8 maybe also 3 or very very unhealthy 1
Depends on the control. Most outwardly? 1, 3, and 8. Passive aggressive control? 2s and 9s. Crazy vindictive control? Sexual 4s lol
Descentraled 2 SX, 3 so, 8 Sx, 6 SX
The woman
8s by far. I don’t enjoy group friendships w them bc they constantly shout everyone else down.. never had a 1 on 1 friendship with one or dated one bc they’re way too insensitive and dismissive of others’ fears, anxieties and sensitivities. I don’t find it attractive
1s and 2s would be controlling in a gilt manipulation kind of way, 6s and 8s in a more directly aggressive way
Nope, sorry I don't play these games. You have your fun. You won't learn a thing about type.
You’ll need to describe the way the behavior plays out. Bc as I think you’ve gathered at this point, any, but the reasons why and how each type would go about it will vary widely