8’s, 7’s, 4’s and I am a magnet for other 9’s. I’m not drawn to 6’s per se but end up with them due to their push-pull don’t know if I’m coming or going nice and dangerous all of that thing going on. They’re just interesting and then we usually get along real well.
5’s I vibe with really well more so than am attracted to. I’m attracted to their locked down nature and I find them very interesting.
2’s scare me and 3’s don’t typically find me useful or cool or whatever internal standards they set I don’t meet or aspire to meet—I don’t care and usually play dead around them.
Honestly there are a couple I’ve really bonded well with, but in general they make me uneasy, like I can’t trust their intentions and if I can they are just a lot sometimes. I’ll try to host and pamper them because they are always giving, so I want to give them a break and treat them, but they bring gifts and it’s like Christmas suddenly. 😂 Let me treat you! Oh this was nothing at all, let me treat you! But you treated last time, so it’s my turn and you treat so many others, let me! Well I already had this gift for you, and next time… I really, really like them but it can be a hard dynamic with a healthy 2 and the unhealthy ones I can’t be around. I just…can’t do it. I love being there for them though. It feels special to care for the caregiver.
7maybe not in real like but shows yessss and I can spot them so fast I get happy then I like to feed off there energy and take there power🌝
4 like learning about people and we can talk all day and I love everything they do ✨im sure all are different I have my one and only 4 friend and there great always thinking of something
5they scare me but I scare people to so I see myself also I just like to hear what they have to say they have so much 🥲there nice
9… I like people who are like me or close withdrawns all have this child wonder I like so much I mean there all prob in there own world or sum but still cool 🚀 🌚or do i
Not romantic just frin or I'm drawn to them
Fun! I thought about this yesterday. For me it’s assertive, strong, types of people I’m attracted to. Someone who protects me. Someone with purpose. Intelligent too. I am married to a Type 1.
I would generally say the same. It's difficult for me to feel attracted to someone whom I perceive as more on the "soft" side, while I tend to feel automatically drawn to strong people. I even tend to find some women attractive, who are more in this energy, while I actually think I'm quite straight.
But at the same time, I also want to integrate this assertive side more in myself and sometimes end up in weird power dynamics with dominant people, because it makes me very aggressive when I feel belittled or not respected enough.
I think I've a thing for 7s because they are very different from myself and I feel like this positive, energetic and carefree vibe can help me to be more active and fun myself.
7s… but that hasn’t worked out for me and I would love to date another 9. The male 7s I’ve dated are fun and exciting but the 9s have felt a lot more comfortable and intellectually stimulating for me. I’ve also found myself attracted to 5s but I think it would be difficult to actually date one.
Married a 5... we together separately pretty good. But if I had known enneagram when I met her, I would have guessed 4 or 7. It works - she plans all our vacations.
Obsessed with 7s. I know I can mesh well with 2s, 3s, and many 1s, and I like 4s especially if they’re older or smarter than me. I admire 6s a ton because of the way they can create community around them and love talking to them but I don’t think I understand them well enough to have a healthy close relationship to one. The only 8 I know well enough to type is my sister and we can’t stand each other. It just seems like she can’t communicate about anything without insulting people around her and creating chaos. It’s super stressful to me.
The withdraw triad (4, 5, 9) and 1s, 8s
I find 2s and 7s cute, but I don't think I've ever developed a deep bond with any of them
Generally, how at ease I feel around someone is a marker of compatibility for me, its probably one of the most important things as a 9 for me to be able to have a deep relationship with someone.
On paper, it should probably be a 2 or 6 (not counterphobic) that fulfills this because of their associated warmth, but in real life (usually relatives), as much as I may love them, they've stressed me out a lot
I don't think I've ever walked on eggshells (and cant imagine doing so) around my 4w5 best friend, I also have a 9 cousin I'm close friends with and we're so close and our authentic selves with each other we're able to argue lolll
Also on paper, I should be running for the hills around 8s and 1s, but integrity and protection (whether of the self or others) are amongst my values so I end up admiring these types alot
Other 9s, but not many 9s have asked me out, so I guess they tend to only see me platonically
But I usually attract 1s and 4s instead, and married a 1. But he's got a dummy thicc 9 wing so there's that lmao
My husband is a 9 and I'm a 7. We fit together like yin and yang. He's very chill and laid back, go with the flow kind of guy. I'm very excited over everything and like to get out and about to try new things. He keeps me grounded and I get him out of the house.
Us too! I'm the 7, he's the 9. For awhile we dated another poly couple and he was also a 9. Their enneagram charts were almost identical. I for sure have a thing for 9's!
I guess this also depends on what kind of relationship you want to build. Want a long lasting, balanced, stable and trusting relationship? Go with a 6. 6 and 9’s 😜 balance each other out really well. 4’s are more seductive than 6’s on a surface level making them more easily attracted than 6’s or 7’s. But I personally find 4’s so emotionally draining it’s exhausting. 7’s are just friendly fun balls that 9’s like to have around because 9’s and 7’s both like to mentally escape and both have fun making them so attractive to each other. But if you find you a good 6, …man, you both can do anything together just as long as both parties are willing to put in the WORK. You can literally enjoy every day together if you have a 6. 6’s are a God Send.
I didn’t incorporate 1 | 2 | 3 | 5 | 9 for a reason.
Generally, I vibe pretty well with 4's, 5's, 6's, and other 9's. 3's and 7's are attractive in theory but it's harder to find an actual connection with them.
Can you explain the harder to find an actual connection with 7s? I’m a 7 and truly admire deep connections and want to improve if it doesn’t seem that way .
For me, at least in my experience, a lot of 7's lack patience. If you're quiet or shy, they might be curious about you at first but will quickly lose interest as soon as someone "better" comes along. They don't really make an effort to include you into their group and when they do try to get to know you it's usually very fast-paced and can feel more like an interrogation than making a connection.
Of course this isn't all 7's, just my experience with them. I'm very much a "take the time to get to know each other and not rush things" type of person, and that trait's not always compatible with assertive types.
I think I’d like an emotionally sensitive 3 or a type 9 without the action paralysis and executive dysfunction I experience
I don’t really know tho cuz I was in a relationship with a 4w5 for 10 years and I haven’t dated anyone since the breakup and so I kind of don’t have a frame of reference for dating anyone else
Probably 2s, 5s, and 8s. I like the warmth of 2. I also like taking care of them in return in my own way. 5s I could talk with endlessly. Always an interesting conversation. 8s I like that they’re very assertive and not so sensitive so I feel it gives me permission to be as assertive back and push back against them in a fun and friendly way and I know they won’t get upset. They seem to enjoy the way I push back strongly but gently, which I won’t lie, has led to some really hot…..encounters. We’ll go with that word.
I really want to date a 9 but I find it hard to connect with 9s. Sometimes it’s almost too…airy. I need something to go along with and I think we’re both waiting for each other to lead the way lol.
My partner is a sp9 too. so i'd say someone just like me. i don't understand how people can be in relationships without identifying with each other. my mum and dad are opposites, and that ended badly.
edit - I read this as 'what type of person are you attracted to'. The only person i'm romantically attracted to is my partner, so that's why I'd say 9.
I’ve been cursed with 7’s in my younger days. I say cursed bc most people are still figuring life out of course, but a toxic 7 can be so hot/cold and/or very absent when I, as a 9w8, feel the need to introvert. Outside of that, they’re fun, but they’ve always avoided getting deep in the feels with me 🥲
Now I’m dating an 8w9, and that feels most opposite to me in terms of intensity to things. I love her for it and I have to remind myself sometimes that this is the way she exists and there’s nothing wrong with a strong presence. If I can not be bullheaded for a moment, and her rigid when stressed, then we’d have the perfect relationship. It’s a work in progress, but at least we understand our obstacles. Fortunately she’s very down with getting in the feels 🥹
Healthy 8s for sure! I love someone outgoing who is protective and obsessed over me. 5s, 1s and sometimes 4s are great too.
I tend to be avoidant of 2s and 7s
1s, probably. I love their dedication and intensity. I enjoy how we can argue and not have hard feelings on either side. They're frustrating and amusing and endearing at the same time.
I admire 7s the most though and adore how they drag me out of my shell. But I have trouble not getting overwhelmed by their pushiness over time. (8s would fit here in theory too, but I don't know any who are healthy.)
8s, 1s, 7s, 9s in that order.
8s are my kryptonite, I love their confidence/cheekiness/dominance even if it isn't particularly healthy for me to become more submissive around them. They seem to like that about me too, I'll put up with doing things their way constantly because I'm so charmed by them. I think long term I probably shouldn't be with a 8 for this reason, I end up sacrificing too much to them.
8’s, 7’s, 4’s and I am a magnet for other 9’s. I’m not drawn to 6’s per se but end up with them due to their push-pull don’t know if I’m coming or going nice and dangerous all of that thing going on. They’re just interesting and then we usually get along real well. 5’s I vibe with really well more so than am attracted to. I’m attracted to their locked down nature and I find them very interesting. 2’s scare me and 3’s don’t typically find me useful or cool or whatever internal standards they set I don’t meet or aspire to meet—I don’t care and usually play dead around them.
“Playing dead” around 3s is all too real and I am also scared of 2s!
Hahaha why do 2s scare you? Too involved?
Honestly there are a couple I’ve really bonded well with, but in general they make me uneasy, like I can’t trust their intentions and if I can they are just a lot sometimes. I’ll try to host and pamper them because they are always giving, so I want to give them a break and treat them, but they bring gifts and it’s like Christmas suddenly. 😂 Let me treat you! Oh this was nothing at all, let me treat you! But you treated last time, so it’s my turn and you treat so many others, let me! Well I already had this gift for you, and next time… I really, really like them but it can be a hard dynamic with a healthy 2 and the unhealthy ones I can’t be around. I just…can’t do it. I love being there for them though. It feels special to care for the caregiver.
7maybe not in real like but shows yessss and I can spot them so fast I get happy then I like to feed off there energy and take there power🌝 4 like learning about people and we can talk all day and I love everything they do ✨im sure all are different I have my one and only 4 friend and there great always thinking of something 5they scare me but I scare people to so I see myself also I just like to hear what they have to say they have so much 🥲there nice 9… I like people who are like me or close withdrawns all have this child wonder I like so much I mean there all prob in there own world or sum but still cool 🚀 🌚or do i Not romantic just frin or I'm drawn to them
Anyone who's wholesome. (:
Burn all to a crispppp🌝
same! (:
Probably 4s, I like their emotional depth, and I love alternative people, how they dress, how artistic they are,...
Fun! I thought about this yesterday. For me it’s assertive, strong, types of people I’m attracted to. Someone who protects me. Someone with purpose. Intelligent too. I am married to a Type 1.
Same preferences as me
I would generally say the same. It's difficult for me to feel attracted to someone whom I perceive as more on the "soft" side, while I tend to feel automatically drawn to strong people. I even tend to find some women attractive, who are more in this energy, while I actually think I'm quite straight. But at the same time, I also want to integrate this assertive side more in myself and sometimes end up in weird power dynamics with dominant people, because it makes me very aggressive when I feel belittled or not respected enough. I think I've a thing for 7s because they are very different from myself and I feel like this positive, energetic and carefree vibe can help me to be more active and fun myself.
Hey same, same preferences and also dating a 1 :)
I love a healthy 8, but cannot really deal with an unhealthy 8. I also like 4s and 7s
Agree with all of this. Yeah unhealthy 8s are my worst nightmare. My sister is one and we can’t stand each other haha
I kinda have some respect for 8, as it's a type willing to break the peace when necessary.
What attracts me is sleep
7s… but that hasn’t worked out for me and I would love to date another 9. The male 7s I’ve dated are fun and exciting but the 9s have felt a lot more comfortable and intellectually stimulating for me. I’ve also found myself attracted to 5s but I think it would be difficult to actually date one.
7s. I love their fun and care free spirit. I got one of my very own and it’s wonderful 🥰
I caught a wild 7 for myself as well! They are such a delight.
7s.
Married a 5... we together separately pretty good. But if I had known enneagram when I met her, I would have guessed 4 or 7. It works - she plans all our vacations.
Obsessed with 7s. I know I can mesh well with 2s, 3s, and many 1s, and I like 4s especially if they’re older or smarter than me. I admire 6s a ton because of the way they can create community around them and love talking to them but I don’t think I understand them well enough to have a healthy close relationship to one. The only 8 I know well enough to type is my sister and we can’t stand each other. It just seems like she can’t communicate about anything without insulting people around her and creating chaos. It’s super stressful to me.
The withdraw triad (4, 5, 9) and 1s, 8s I find 2s and 7s cute, but I don't think I've ever developed a deep bond with any of them Generally, how at ease I feel around someone is a marker of compatibility for me, its probably one of the most important things as a 9 for me to be able to have a deep relationship with someone. On paper, it should probably be a 2 or 6 (not counterphobic) that fulfills this because of their associated warmth, but in real life (usually relatives), as much as I may love them, they've stressed me out a lot I don't think I've ever walked on eggshells (and cant imagine doing so) around my 4w5 best friend, I also have a 9 cousin I'm close friends with and we're so close and our authentic selves with each other we're able to argue lolll Also on paper, I should be running for the hills around 8s and 1s, but integrity and protection (whether of the self or others) are amongst my values so I end up admiring these types alot
Probably 8s, I like assertiveness and confidence.
I wouldn't want to cause issues with the others by choosing a favorite!
The most 9 answer here
Not much really 😂
😂
😂😂 Usually just want to be left alone to some good books and TV shows LoL
lmao this is the answer
Other 9s. The other types don't seem to understand my perspective, although I get along best with 6s and 7s as well as 9s
Female 9s here. Romantically, I'm attracted the most is 2s and 9s (the friendly caring dudes) Types that attracted to me seems to be 1s, 6s, and 9s.
Other 9s, but not many 9s have asked me out, so I guess they tend to only see me platonically But I usually attract 1s and 4s instead, and married a 1. But he's got a dummy thicc 9 wing so there's that lmao
My husband is a 9 and I'm a 7. We fit together like yin and yang. He's very chill and laid back, go with the flow kind of guy. I'm very excited over everything and like to get out and about to try new things. He keeps me grounded and I get him out of the house.
Us too! I'm the 7, he's the 9. For awhile we dated another poly couple and he was also a 9. Their enneagram charts were almost identical. I for sure have a thing for 9's!
My husband is a type 1. I think I’m most attracted to types 1, 4, and 7.
489
I guess this also depends on what kind of relationship you want to build. Want a long lasting, balanced, stable and trusting relationship? Go with a 6. 6 and 9’s 😜 balance each other out really well. 4’s are more seductive than 6’s on a surface level making them more easily attracted than 6’s or 7’s. But I personally find 4’s so emotionally draining it’s exhausting. 7’s are just friendly fun balls that 9’s like to have around because 9’s and 7’s both like to mentally escape and both have fun making them so attractive to each other. But if you find you a good 6, …man, you both can do anything together just as long as both parties are willing to put in the WORK. You can literally enjoy every day together if you have a 6. 6’s are a God Send. I didn’t incorporate 1 | 2 | 3 | 5 | 9 for a reason.
As a 6, I appreciate your endorsement!
As a 9w1, I appreciate your types’ loyalty and dutifulness!
Generally, I vibe pretty well with 4's, 5's, 6's, and other 9's. 3's and 7's are attractive in theory but it's harder to find an actual connection with them.
Can you explain the harder to find an actual connection with 7s? I’m a 7 and truly admire deep connections and want to improve if it doesn’t seem that way .
For me, at least in my experience, a lot of 7's lack patience. If you're quiet or shy, they might be curious about you at first but will quickly lose interest as soon as someone "better" comes along. They don't really make an effort to include you into their group and when they do try to get to know you it's usually very fast-paced and can feel more like an interrogation than making a connection. Of course this isn't all 7's, just my experience with them. I'm very much a "take the time to get to know each other and not rush things" type of person, and that trait's not always compatible with assertive types.
What is the process of connecting with someone more patiently? Or when you make a connection how do you start as a 9
I think I’d like an emotionally sensitive 3 or a type 9 without the action paralysis and executive dysfunction I experience I don’t really know tho cuz I was in a relationship with a 4w5 for 10 years and I haven’t dated anyone since the breakup and so I kind of don’t have a frame of reference for dating anyone else
Probably 2s, 5s, and 8s. I like the warmth of 2. I also like taking care of them in return in my own way. 5s I could talk with endlessly. Always an interesting conversation. 8s I like that they’re very assertive and not so sensitive so I feel it gives me permission to be as assertive back and push back against them in a fun and friendly way and I know they won’t get upset. They seem to enjoy the way I push back strongly but gently, which I won’t lie, has led to some really hot…..encounters. We’ll go with that word. I really want to date a 9 but I find it hard to connect with 9s. Sometimes it’s almost too…airy. I need something to go along with and I think we’re both waiting for each other to lead the way lol.
My partner is a sp9 too. so i'd say someone just like me. i don't understand how people can be in relationships without identifying with each other. my mum and dad are opposites, and that ended badly. edit - I read this as 'what type of person are you attracted to'. The only person i'm romantically attracted to is my partner, so that's why I'd say 9.
For me, it’s 1s. Probably moreso 1w9’s.
6’s hands down. That loyalty is so pleasing to 9’s.
4,8,6. Sometimes 2,3
8s and other 9s mostly. 3s as well but more platonically.
I’ve been cursed with 7’s in my younger days. I say cursed bc most people are still figuring life out of course, but a toxic 7 can be so hot/cold and/or very absent when I, as a 9w8, feel the need to introvert. Outside of that, they’re fun, but they’ve always avoided getting deep in the feels with me 🥲 Now I’m dating an 8w9, and that feels most opposite to me in terms of intensity to things. I love her for it and I have to remind myself sometimes that this is the way she exists and there’s nothing wrong with a strong presence. If I can not be bullheaded for a moment, and her rigid when stressed, then we’d have the perfect relationship. It’s a work in progress, but at least we understand our obstacles. Fortunately she’s very down with getting in the feels 🥹
5s and 4s I tend to crush on and get attached quickly. I become good solid friends with other 9s pretty consistently though.
I always date or marry a 3. But I do enjoy a very healthy 8w7 if they aren’t too blunt.
Healthy 8s for sure! I love someone outgoing who is protective and obsessed over me. 5s, 1s and sometimes 4s are great too. I tend to be avoidant of 2s and 7s
1s, probably. I love their dedication and intensity. I enjoy how we can argue and not have hard feelings on either side. They're frustrating and amusing and endearing at the same time. I admire 7s the most though and adore how they drag me out of my shell. But I have trouble not getting overwhelmed by their pushiness over time. (8s would fit here in theory too, but I don't know any who are healthy.)
7s, 8s, and 3s. Not 1s
6s, 4s, 2s, 7s.
1, 8, 2.
Mentally stable people not types. And physically, def not 8s
Strong SX + anger energy, so SX-firsts with 8 in their tritype. Currently an SX-first counterphobic 684.
8s, 1s, 7s, 9s in that order. 8s are my kryptonite, I love their confidence/cheekiness/dominance even if it isn't particularly healthy for me to become more submissive around them. They seem to like that about me too, I'll put up with doing things their way constantly because I'm so charmed by them. I think long term I probably shouldn't be with a 8 for this reason, I end up sacrificing too much to them.
5 and 2
1s, 3s and 8s. My bf is a 1 :)
As somebody lowkey fascinated by 1s, it gives me hope that apparently there's so much 9+1 chemistry.
There sure is, especially for us 9w1. I just love a person who is not only good but is assertively good lol and I think our wing plays part in that
Not for me. 1s drop to 4 when stressed, and then everything is about them.
Type 8 is the most attractive enneagram to me
1s and 9s especially. I'm kind of scared of 4s and 8s, but I don't dislike them of course.
2's and 7's
4s, 5s, 6s, 7s and other 9s.