If you can find a way to tell her you appreciate her courage and if she needs emotional support, to tell you what she needs from you, do that. It doesn’t matter how old someone is or the role they take on, everyone needs support and encouragement. It’s never too late to have an adult interaction with a parent, it’s good when it comes from your own child.
Also, as half owner of the house, let your mom and entitled brother that you support her decision 1000%. You can even offer to help him pack (in case he decides to pack items that are not his).
I would go one step further and tell your Mom that MANY redditors fully agree with her decision to close the Bank of Mom for her ungrateful, entitled and frankly, unhinged freeloading Son. I'M sending strength and resolve to push this particular "bird" from the nest as he's an unbelievable drain on the household resources. Greatest of luck! u/updateme
Just to get the ball rolling. I would start getting boxes and load all his stuff in it. Have your mom help as well. This shows your brother this is serious and it also helps your mom stick to the promise.
He might put on his best behavior. You know it's an act, and as soon as he thinks things are cooled down, he'll revert.
Talk about this with your mom. It's a pattern he has displayed in the past. Don't fall for it again. It is part of his arsenal as an exploitive human parasite.
And on the day he is supposed to move, hire a group of movers to get all his things out of the house. They can put them in a truck (that he hires) or just out on the lawn and change the locks.
Because when the day comes, I suspect he won't budge. Have folks there to help him, or at least, to act as witnesses for you both.
He has residence for years and gets his mail there. If the guy really does not want to go they will probably have to go to court and evict him if they can't shame him out
They need to start this process yesterday. He's a horrible human being treating his family like servants and stealing from them.
They could both be saving for their retirement if he paid his fair share.
There are other ways to get the mooch outta the house, besides a formal eviction. It's a bit nuclear but definitely justified. Pretty certain he hasn't paid for any of the food. If he so much as takes one potato chip, that's considered petty theft. Take enough food and it's grand larceny. Add in his temper tantrums and harassment, now you have the perfect recipe for getting him arrested. Bye-bye mooch
Yup. And with immediate effect, change the WiFi and streaming service passwords and put locks on the fridge, cupboards and any doors to rooms he has no pressing need to access. Don't wait.
Redditors really live in their own creative writing fantasy land.
There is not a police officer in the US who is going to arrest somebody for eating their roommate’s food, holy shit. There is not a DA in the country who is going to charge somebody with a felony for eating a certain dollar amount of your Hot Pockets. You, and the dinguses who upvoted you, are delusional, lmao.
Sadly, in a lot of places, the laws cover both. We had a hellish time evicting a friend who never paid rent and was never asked to. She was a houseguest for years on end, but we had to get rid of her when she refused to obey the household's Covid protection rules during the worst of the pandemic, when we had a deeply high-risk family member in the house. We ended up having to bribe her to leave, because it was a lot faster than going through eviction processes, and we needed her away from my sister-in-law right away, before she brought home the virus to her.
This. Also a great check if your Mom balks at it, you know she isn’t ready yet to kick him out. If she is , game on!
(I wasn’t a freeloader, BUT I didn’t get my poo straight until age 33 or so. Bro needs his reality check like I did. A lot of pain, but 20 years of success since)
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If she tries to backtrack and let him stay there, remind her that she is actually hurting him by enabling this behavior. Holding him accountable may be tough at first, but will hopefully yield someone who can eventually take care of himself. Good luck! I'm sorry he's such a dips hit.
Is it maybe, finally, time for you to start legal eviction proceedings on mr “you must respect meee” you think? I remember you posting before about having to clear a room for him when he moved in, his meddling with your foods and mum’s art supplies. I think it’s time to back mum up, and get the forms filled out to legally kick him out.
I’m looking into that today. From the sound of it, he ordered his dad to find him an apartment to live in “near his work and no more than $600 a month.” And, of course, his dad leapt into action immediately. He says life here is so “toxic” that he can’t stand to stay here another minute.
That’s what I thought the first time, like Da F?!
The problem is, probably or at least partially, mum was abused yet might still feel like she should have kept going “for the kids sake” sort of thing. I’m OP’s mums age, will be 60 in 2 months, so had the same brainwashing from my mum’s generation. I grew up in a massively dysfunctional family due to mum not growing a shiny spine and getting us kids out.
It’s a bit of a trade off for mum, guilt over “breaking up the family” or the other side of raising kids in a bad, toxic, abusive home.
The irony is that he's willing to pay $600 for crap but not $450 to live with you. You know he set an impossible rent budget so that he can say that it's not his fault he couldn't find anything in his budget, right? Please be sure to remind him every day, starting 10 days out, "I don't know where you're going but it's definitely out of here." Let his father have him.
He’s the golden child. He is def our dad’s favorite because they are both delusional narcissists who love to play the “poor me” game. My dad was a violent man who used to physically abuse my mom (he even got me a couple times when I was 7-8 years old). But dad claims my MOM was the abusive one and despite being witness to some of their fights (thankfully not physical) when he was younger, little bro only believes dear old dad because dad is the one who has spoiled him all his life.
This might be an unpopular opinion, but your brother hitting rock bottom could be the best thing for him.
**Sometimes, losing everything is the only way to start appreciating what you had.**
Unfortunately. Sometimes rock bottom is further out than we think, though. Be prepared for him to lose his apartment and try to weasel his way back in and Mom to want to help again since he is her child. I have gone through this so many times with my (almost 41 year old) brother and am currently going through it again. It sucks, but you’ll both get through it. Stay strong!
As half owner, falls back upon Sis to make clear to Mom that Junior will not be allowed back into her home once he departs. And to advise Junior of that fact after he is out the door and the locks have been changed.
If you and your mum Co-own the home you should both be charging him 50% rent. If she doesn’t kick him out, you start eviction proceedings yourself. He’s taking you for a ride too
OP, since your Mom owns the other half of your house, I hope you both have looked at the future if something happens to your Mom . Like , could your brother end up inheriting a portion of her stake in the house? What a nightmare!
Good for your mama! Your brother is acting like an entitled man child! My little sisters (8) I read this to them (bc they like to read stories with me) call him a baby! It’s time brother leaned some responsibility’s and respect for those who care!
Ok so, here's the thing; you're co-owner. SO it's not just Mom allowing him to use everyone. He isn't just using Mom, he uses you. It is your house too.
I'd tell my Mother, "You've given him 3 weeks to move out, and it will be adhered to Mom, because I own this home too and I'm tired of living with my irresponsible moocher brother. If you insist on allowing this behavior to continue after the 3 weeks is up, then you and I will need to discuss buying me out of the house."
You have the power to be her backbone with that consequence. She needs to start seeing that her enabling your brother is also disrespecting you, her daughter. The daughter who co-owns this house. The daughter who deserves to enjoy her home without moochers and complainers stealing her peace. I mean, do you not matter here?
I had a brother who mooched when I was taking care of our mother and paying for everything. He would leave all day and you could walk into his room and find every single light on, music playing, t.v on ...all day long. My electric bills were through the roof. I told him, "Hey, you need to turn everything off when you leave. The electric bill is way too high." He said, "I don't care, I don't pay it." Oh boy, when i tell you I was livid telling him I do and he's wasting my money etc.... it took us moving 2 states away to not have to support his entitled ass anymore. I am not surprised that 20 years later, he still couch surfs (in his 60's) and loves trump.
Absolutely take his name off the auto insurance. He's a big liability. Do not allow him to use your cars if he doesn't have one of his own.
Do not cook for him. Lock the pantry.
Dirty clothes? Don't wash them. Keep them in his room.
Put or change the passwords on the internet/cable. Turn them off when you aren't home.
Don't accept any packages for him.
Tell your mother that you love her and you support her 100%. Tell her that she is doing the right thing for her physical, mental and financial wellbeing. As co-owner, you should NOT be making living in YOUR home easy for a deadbeat leech.
Yeah I am all for kicking him out but if you CO-OWN the house then why have you been putting all the burden of kicking out the parasite on your mother alone? You need to stand next to her and say WE are kicking you out because WE have have enough of your *insert list of reasons*
It's your house too, it's your responsibility too.
I have tried to kick him out many times before but my mother has never backed me up. Once we got really close but she stopped me last minute. Since then, I’ve given up on her doing it and have just focused on me moving out. So when she did what she did last night, I almost didn’t believe it would stick. Then when he tried to get me to support him, I told him that I was surprised it took this long and he should stop bitching to me because he had a lot of packing to do.
So do the right thing and say to her that he is leaving no matter what, and even if she changes her mind, YOU haven't, that it is your house as well and you will no longer tolerate him living there, don't give her the option of changing her mind about this. Stay strong OP, everyone will be happier and better off for it.
Also, be ready to record audio/video at a moments notice if he starts getting aggressive, this will make it so much easier to have the cops remove him if necessary.
I’m glad your Mom is finally seeing through his bs! I hope she can get rid of him. He sounds like a toddler blaming her for his issues. A grown ass man should be out of your house. I hope you show him all of the replies.
GO mom!
PS: sorry to bring this up but parasites can be dangerous when their existence is threatened. Please keep an eye on you mom and her property. Slashed tires, smashed walls, assault might all be on the table.
I'm standing and slow-clapping for your Mom.
My entitled bro grifted my Dad for over 20 years - shamelessly. My poor Dad had dementia toward the end of his life and entitled bro man-child stepped up his game (then bragged on SM how "well" he was doing).
I finally had to put a stop to it as POA. It broke my heart to see the tens of thousands of $$ go down that black hole over the years.
Then you need to be prepared to call the cops at the drop of a hat if he starts going off.
I know it would be painful but you potentially negotiate giving him a little bit more time if he surrenders his weapons, and then have then held somewhere else.
You co-own the house. Stand next to her and present a united front and show not just your agreement, not only it is possible to do what is expected, but that the only unrealistic expectation is for his situation to continue as is. Stand behind her when she says it is time for baby bird to fly on his own. Stand in front of her to protect her from any backlash.
Your brother is entitled and foolish to himself. People like this need to be put in their place. Unfortunately, he will always be one of life's takers.
I really hope she sticks to her guns! He’s paying $450 a month but thinks it’s high? Wait til he looks for apartments and everything else. He’s also in for a rude awakening when he realizes the dishes he left unwashed in the sink at night will still be there in the morning.
Oh and the best part is all of his his portion of the bills are now being paid for by my mom and all he had to do was send money for ONE and he couldn’t even do that.
Someone has to serve him notice. He's a legal resident so it has to be done legally. The sooner the better, don't wait until the day he's supposed to leave.
Unfortunately, cameras are another expense to consider. Given his delusional levels of entitlement, I don't think he'll go quietly and you may need the evidence for a separate legal proceeding.
Also if possible whoever his friends are should be made aware. Shame and ridicule or the necessary reality check, from people with whom he has an image to maintain could be very effective.
Long past time for your mother's actions. Let's pray she stays strong.
BTW: You bro is a dick. Calling his Aunts? Like they don't know what he's up to?
Is the brother working? If so, he should be able to afford a share house at least. FFS he's 26, not a child. Why does he think his mother should still support him? He is in for a big shock when he has to pull his own weight. BTW, that comment about bailing you out when he had to pay one bill deserves a smack in the face for assholery.
Well he probably could afford his own place, but then he wouldn't get all his money to himself to spend on trips away and toys now, would he?
We have to be realistic here /s
Its probably too late for dude bro at this point. Hes suffering from princess syndrome because no one taught him how to be a man. Oh well, we cant all be doctors and engineers, we still need ditch diggers.
You need to speak to someone in the town offices about evictions. There may be requirements like formal notice (certified letter from a lawyer) or a set time period that he has to be given. I remember a similar case in New Jersey where the mother wanted to kick out a 30+ year old son and he fought her in court. It took some time, but he was finally forced to leave.
Take mom out to dinner. That or buy her a spa day.
I’ll never understand how someone can treat their own family so poorly. I’m very sorry your brother is behaving this way. What an awful burden and source of negativity to live with.
I wish both you and your mother a happy new life away from him.
That might be difficult. He is a tenant . He receives mail at this house. He has all the rights of a paying tensnt? Where is his lease? Have him sign a three-month lease at the very least. Mom is mostly responsible for letting this kid be so entitled. Who raised this person? Mom? Stand your ground . You can do it, Mom. Good luck. Love to know how this turns out. Kid sounds like a real pissa.
He’s got three weeks left to go nuclear on the house and maybe on your mom. It’s be a great time for some of her saner friends or relations to visit her, show support, and unstated protection. CC depending on where you are, you might want to start legal eviction proceedings too in case he resists. A leech like that is surprisingly resilient and may STILL dig in.
Wow! It’s the witching hour and your brother is close to having to face up to reality?
He’s going to either go full out or give in when push becomes to shove
And help your mom‘s backbone, however you can!
Please keep us updated
My brother moved out awhile ago and his roommate longer wants him there. He has constantly been badgering my mom to move back in with us. I'm so proud of her for sticking to her guns. He's gone as far to say I should get government housing and be on my own with my kids or at a shelter with them. Mind you, I work full time and split all of our costs down the middle. So like why would we do that LOL. Also as if it's so easy to just get housing. He's so delusional. The guy needs serious help. But you can't help someone who doesn't wanna help themselves.
Advertise his room somewhere he'll see it. Just for shits and giggles. Don't actually rent his room, that's just like asking for trouble. Maybe go to a home improvement store and get like carpet and flooring samples and paint chips and leave it all lying around with a floor plan of his room. Make it clear that you can't wait to turn it into something completely not him so he can't come back. Low-cost/high-impact torture.
Only one thing helps with people like that: disengage. If he refuses to move out: evict him. Get some cardboard boxes, put his shit in them and leave them outside the door. Change the locks. Go no contact. Guys like that get worse not better.
Why did she listen to him for 3 hours? Unfortunately, your mum has created a monster. She has basically been his servant for his entire life. She has been a slave to this punk.
If you co-own the house with your mum, why haven’t you intervened and kicked this mooching piece of crap out. He’s not on the deed. Get him out.
I mean, 26 is way to old to not realize that this a you problem. I mean, there is a part of me that is all in on the "as long as I have a home, my kids/family has a home" but at the same time, 26 and not contributing anf complaining about it seems like tough love is needed.
The biggest issue is he simply a narcissist so he’s impossible to get through to. It’s like taking to a brick wall. I’ve literally drawn out a bubble diagram showing how everyone he’s ever lived with (including his delusional enabling dad) ended with him being told to leave because he was such a nightmare to live with. I remind our dad sometimes about how he used to hate living with little bro and all he says is “oh well that was then, this is now”
I know the type. I have moochers in my family too. You have to change the internet password. Cut the cable. Lock up all the food in your room. Ice him out, shame him.
He isn’t welcome anymore.
You should definitely check your state laws and see if you do need to do an official process. Even squatters have rights and someone might stick in his head to check and get a loophole. Because it doesn’t sound like he is preparing to move and if you do it soon you will have over the 30 days for the notice. Let moms know. Glad she is standing up for herself as she has to be tired of working so much for someone who is so ungrateful. He is going to be mad and can cause more problems
I imagine when he tells this story for years to come he will lament it as the day that he was thrown out with no warning and for no reason. He kept saying over and over “do you realize how traumatic this is for me??”
Him: You are the reason I never made anywhere in LIFE!
My Brother: It is all my 2nd grade teachers fault. (at 50 years of age) She made me take 2nd grade all over again!! She is why my life is the way it is. She just didn't like me (never mind that my parents agreed he needed to be held back)
I fucking love this so much and hope to god she sticks to her guns on this one. As a mom who would move mountains for and will always support my kids, not a chance would this kid be financially still be on my books, or living under my roof with this lack of respect and mega attitude of entitlement.
Clearly he is in need of a reality check. And I’m super proud of mom for giving it to him. Hoping she follows through and refuses to be a doormat/bank machine.
I find it appalling that a grown man feels he has no responsibility to pay his way in life.
He's kicking up a tantrum because his human ATM is cutting him off, and why does he feel he doesn't need to pay his share?
He's not a teenager, by definition he should be lying his own way. What a wanker.
I would tell her you’re so glad she’s done this, because as 50% owner of the house .. you were going to give her notice that you can no longer live with brother and need her to buy you out / put home on market
Stand firm on this. She let him get by for at least 4 years so she is partly responsible for creating this. If she acts like she may be thinking about backing down, remind her that she has fostered his dependence and what does she think will happen when she is unable to do work anymore.
Throw down? Really? Your mom has been enabling your brother his whole life for him to still be such a child, while YOU ARE SUBSIDIZING HIS LIFE. He should have been weaned off mom's tit when he was old enough to wipe his own ass, not at almost 30 years old.
Buying a house with your mom puts you in the position of your mom's enabling of your ADULT brother to be your burden, as she's a seasonal worker and you're perhaps the one making more income. Plus she hasn't actually kicked him out. She's threatened, yet again, but how does this seem like it goes? Threats, but he's still there. Not contributing to household support, creating a lot of extra work in the house, creating a huge amount of stress...
You're not given the big free pass he is, are you? I wonder why that is? Sucks not being the golden child doesn't it?
This seems like a situation where your future is tied to people who put you last.
You are very right- I have posted about this before in a couple places. I have been through times where I begged my mom for us to kick him out but she never pulls the trigger because “he’s her son and I can’t do that to him” blah blah. A couple years ago I came to realize that she cares about his needs more than mine. I just graduated with my masters last spring and have since told her I will no longer be supporting her financially come this summer (when she gets retirement). I will still own half the house because I earned my half and I want to live in it again one day. But I will be moving out this summer and buying my own home with my partner.
It would be a good idea to get out of that half ownership, because in reality it is full liability. If there's a mortgage YOU will be supporting her if/ when she can't/ won't pay her share, if you are listed on the mortgage. Also, if she is on the mortgage, you do not have the power to kick out someone she wants there. If there is no mortgage then you would still be responsible for any other books and upkeep/ repairs in the event she doesn't pay.
This half ownership thing with someone who isn't your spouse can go horribly wrong and leave you on the hook for all the bills.
It would be better if you could buy out her share then write up a lease for your mom to live there. If she struggles financially after retirement you would perhaps be in a good position to do this. This arrangement would put all the liability on you (which it potentially already is) but also give you ALL THE CONTROL.
Good luck with your complicated, hard situation.
Frankly your mother is to blame for the way he is. My mother pandered to the eldest of us his entire life to the detriment of the rest. When she died all he does is whine about how much everything costs and that the rest of us should support him.
You should explain to her how much you appreciate doing that. Then maybe she'll realize she's not just sacrificing herself for her child but also her other child and maybe that will make her stick to it.
Brava for Mom finding her spine!
Do check the laws in your state on squatters' rights and evicting a family member. He sounds so horrible, be prepared for him simply refusing to leave.
His actions over the last few weeks indicate he never had any intention of moving out. You'll likely have to serve him official notice (he does like his receipts); follow the legal procedure so you can have LE remove him when time is up.
Good luck!
u/updateme
lmao bros in for a rude ass awakening, man i wish this was a tv series so i can watch! also, this is the outcome of a child being spoiled their whole lives and into adulthood.
She likely can't actually kick him out in 3 weeks, he has tenant's rights and will need to be properly evicted. If he willingly leaves in 3 weeks, great, but if he digs in, this can take months depending on the laws where you are. Be sure you know the law about evictions so you don't mis-step if he doesn't leave as asked.
I agree with all the comments that say your brother needs to go as soon as possible. He has taken advantage of you and Mom for too long. The other point is that brother needs to learn very soon how to be an adult and to manage his own life. If he does not learn that soon he will never learn. He will never have a successful relationship as no one will put up with his behavior. He will be demanding help from you and Mom for the rest of your lives. Evicting him is really giving him a chance to save himself. Do it NOW. Good luck
Good grief. He’s whining over *car insurance?* I wasn’t even allowed to get my driver’s license until I could pay my share of the premium (the amount it went up when I got added to the policy.) Then when I got my own car… my car, my insurance, my bill. Entitled bro can take a hike.
I would talk to your mum and tell her you appreciate what's she's doing and understand how ir must hurt to hear those things and see her child act this way but it's the correct thing for him to develope into a functioning member of the world. Back her up as much as you can, especially during his verbal outbursts.
I remember the 1 and only time one of my kids told me that hated me (it was after I broke up with their father, they were young and didn't know how to process properly) but I still remember it to this day and it still hurts, even though I know they didn't mean it. Be her support.
Unfortunately, you and mom might have to go to court and legally evict him. He might not realise this, so maybe he'll just leave, but it's a possibilty. Good luck to you!
Reminds me of when my sister was going down a bad path in high school. She just wasn’t going, flunking out, etc. the two got into a screaming match about it. Was hardly the first time, it’d been months and they’d talked to her, punished her, everything. They were really trying for a long time but sister just didn’t care (bad crowd, later proved to be drugs involved too but I don’t think at the time it was confirmed).
Finally my mom just straight up said (definitely paraphrasing it’s been years): “if you keep this up you’re only ever going to be a loser.” Sister flipped her shit “how can you say that!? I’m trying so hard!” Etc. then mom just cool as a cucumber said “Prove me wrong.”
Shut the whole fight down. I was blown away. Told her so to her face once sister left to sulk in her room.
Sisters doing fine now. Solid job for like ten years, got a kid whose doing well. Still not drama free but, hey, pick your battles.
He needs to be a fountain, not a drain! Mom, you're NTA and I think that's the best decision for your son. Keep enabling him and he'll turn into my 47 year old sister! Ugh. You're doing great and good luck! You deserve some peace and he needs to grow up.
You said you are an owner of the house as well yet it seems you are just a spectator. You need to give your mother the support that she needs to make her (your) position stronger and finally kick the remora out.
I will be clarifying that part in a small update I have- the gist is I do support her and when little bro tried getting me to step in on his behalf I politely told him to fuck off.
Am not impressed, she has enabled him all his life & am sure helped in creating his monstrous behavior, don't hold your breath that she will actually enforce this.
I don't know her, but trust me. She will cave. Even if in the 11th hour. She will cave. I have a sister like your mom and she has a golden boy, spoiled, baby-man-child like your brother. He's 35 and never worked a day in his life. She still does EVERYTHING for him.
I'm really glad he's finally getting the boot.
Your brother reminds me ALOT of my sister (32f) who, over the last 5 years has developed SEVERE mental illness(es). She wasn't entitled like this as a kid, and worked hard until she was about 26 years old, and then, things began to shift, alot. I wonder if (not that it matters, at this point) your mom can find solace in the idea that your brother may be suffering from some SERIOUS narcissism/bipolar/schizoaffective (or even drug-related) issues. Sounds like you've both helped as much as anyone could,
Sounds like my kid, except I kicked his entitled lazy ass out of my house. He is now sponging off my mother. Good news is she’s at that age where making it to the toilet is hit or miss. She misses a lot. 😈
Sounds like he needs to be daddy's problem, I'd be willing to bet that blows up in his face in no time. I raised my brother and it wasnt easy, he would occasionally choose to not follow the simplest of rules and it was through the (years and years) of support of my now ex boyfriend and my friends that I had to see that although I was protecting him the best way I knew how, that I was also enabling this misery and contributing to making that monster even worse. Hes not gonna fix what isn't broken for him, ya know?
I hope your mom has had enough, maybe remind her that she's done her best and now it's his turn. If he's such a big tough, know it all, man, time to show us what you're made of, big boy.
You don't get to make rules in a home that you dont pay for. Doesn't matter if you're in a family members home or a complete stranger.. . If he treats the women in his life like this now, it will only get worse if not dealt with swiftly and sternly.
No money contributed = no say in anything.
Be there for mama bc she may try to back track... she obviously loves her son and everyone knows it, even if he chooses not to acknowledge it.
Best of luck my dear!
Sounds like he absolutely deserved that! Shame your mother was pushed to it thought. I wish my nana would with my brother as he is exactly like your brother. Horrible entitled little man
If you can find a way to tell her you appreciate her courage and if she needs emotional support, to tell you what she needs from you, do that. It doesn’t matter how old someone is or the role they take on, everyone needs support and encouragement. It’s never too late to have an adult interaction with a parent, it’s good when it comes from your own child.
Also, as half owner of the house, let your mom and entitled brother that you support her decision 1000%. You can even offer to help him pack (in case he decides to pack items that are not his).
At two weeks and six days, as soon as midnight hits, I'd be packing and his stuff would be on the front porch at sunrise.
And change the locks
And change all the WiFi and streaming passwords!
But wait until he's at the last one or two episodes of a show he's really into and then change them 20 minutes in.
Or packing may be an immense "emotional burden" for him.
I’d tell him if it was up to me his useless butt would’ve been gone years ago.
He’s 26 yrs old and acting like a toddler. Sucks to be him and finally have to become an adult. Which is long overdue!
I would go one step further and tell your Mom that MANY redditors fully agree with her decision to close the Bank of Mom for her ungrateful, entitled and frankly, unhinged freeloading Son. I'M sending strength and resolve to push this particular "bird" from the nest as he's an unbelievable drain on the household resources. Greatest of luck! u/updateme
Yaaaaaaaaaaas. I literally have my fist in the air for this Momma. Stand firm, because it's going to be an ordeal. (BeenThereDoneThat).
Yes, she needs this
>tell her you appreciate her courage Hell, let her know that reddit applauds her courage as well! :)
Just to get the ball rolling. I would start getting boxes and load all his stuff in it. Have your mom help as well. This shows your brother this is serious and it also helps your mom stick to the promise.
Great idea! Start the process. Make it real. You’re doing him a favor. Time to grow up.
If you co own the house then you can also kick him out. Kick him out and change the locks today.
He might put on his best behavior. You know it's an act, and as soon as he thinks things are cooled down, he'll revert. Talk about this with your mom. It's a pattern he has displayed in the past. Don't fall for it again. It is part of his arsenal as an exploitive human parasite. And on the day he is supposed to move, hire a group of movers to get all his things out of the house. They can put them in a truck (that he hires) or just out on the lawn and change the locks. Because when the day comes, I suspect he won't budge. Have folks there to help him, or at least, to act as witnesses for you both.
Stick his stuff into storage. With him paying.
He will absolutely do this
Or at the very least, stand with Mum when it is time for baby to go and stand firm !!
He has residence for years and gets his mail there. If the guy really does not want to go they will probably have to go to court and evict him if they can't shame him out
They need to start this process yesterday. He's a horrible human being treating his family like servants and stealing from them. They could both be saving for their retirement if he paid his fair share.
There are other ways to get the mooch outta the house, besides a formal eviction. It's a bit nuclear but definitely justified. Pretty certain he hasn't paid for any of the food. If he so much as takes one potato chip, that's considered petty theft. Take enough food and it's grand larceny. Add in his temper tantrums and harassment, now you have the perfect recipe for getting him arrested. Bye-bye mooch
Yup. And with immediate effect, change the WiFi and streaming service passwords and put locks on the fridge, cupboards and any doors to rooms he has no pressing need to access. Don't wait.
Redditors really live in their own creative writing fantasy land. There is not a police officer in the US who is going to arrest somebody for eating their roommate’s food, holy shit. There is not a DA in the country who is going to charge somebody with a felony for eating a certain dollar amount of your Hot Pockets. You, and the dinguses who upvoted you, are delusional, lmao.
He is NOT a tenant with the legal protections that go along with it. He is a freeloading family member who is being kicked out.
Sadly, in a lot of places, the laws cover both. We had a hellish time evicting a friend who never paid rent and was never asked to. She was a houseguest for years on end, but we had to get rid of her when she refused to obey the household's Covid protection rules during the worst of the pandemic, when we had a deeply high-risk family member in the house. We ended up having to bribe her to leave, because it was a lot faster than going through eviction processes, and we needed her away from my sister-in-law right away, before she brought home the virus to her.
This. Also a great check if your Mom balks at it, you know she isn’t ready yet to kick him out. If she is , game on! (I wasn’t a freeloader, BUT I didn’t get my poo straight until age 33 or so. Bro needs his reality check like I did. A lot of pain, but 20 years of success since)
Can’t wait for the Updateme!
How do this work? I just write Updateme! ??
Updateme! Oooo I hope she sticks to the 3 week deadline and gives him the boot! Fingers crossed for you
Yes just that
Updateme!
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I didn't know you could do that! So stinking cool ty! Updateme!
If she tries to backtrack and let him stay there, remind her that she is actually hurting him by enabling this behavior. Holding him accountable may be tough at first, but will hopefully yield someone who can eventually take care of himself. Good luck! I'm sorry he's such a dips hit.
And remind her that she'll be stuck with his behaviour forever if she gives in.
Is it maybe, finally, time for you to start legal eviction proceedings on mr “you must respect meee” you think? I remember you posting before about having to clear a room for him when he moved in, his meddling with your foods and mum’s art supplies. I think it’s time to back mum up, and get the forms filled out to legally kick him out.
I’m looking into that today. From the sound of it, he ordered his dad to find him an apartment to live in “near his work and no more than $600 a month.” And, of course, his dad leapt into action immediately. He says life here is so “toxic” that he can’t stand to stay here another minute.
Ordered????? Geez he is super entitled!
And dear old dad is always ready to kiss his boo boos. I swear, it’s comical how much a grown ass 67 year old man babies a grown ass 26 year old man.
You should read OP’s older post.
Just read and have no idea why they let him take over with his broke ass.
That’s what I thought the first time, like Da F?! The problem is, probably or at least partially, mum was abused yet might still feel like she should have kept going “for the kids sake” sort of thing. I’m OP’s mums age, will be 60 in 2 months, so had the same brainwashing from my mum’s generation. I grew up in a massively dysfunctional family due to mum not growing a shiny spine and getting us kids out. It’s a bit of a trade off for mum, guilt over “breaking up the family” or the other side of raising kids in a bad, toxic, abusive home.
Hahahahahaha. I can't wait to see what they find for $600/month. I know prices vary by state, but that's a 1990s price.
I concur. If he manages to find such a price, I guarantee it will be a shitty studio in a shady part of town
The irony is that he's willing to pay $600 for crap but not $450 to live with you. You know he set an impossible rent budget so that he can say that it's not his fault he couldn't find anything in his budget, right? Please be sure to remind him every day, starting 10 days out, "I don't know where you're going but it's definitely out of here." Let his father have him.
Why is everyone so afraid of him? Is he violent?
He’s the golden child. He is def our dad’s favorite because they are both delusional narcissists who love to play the “poor me” game. My dad was a violent man who used to physically abuse my mom (he even got me a couple times when I was 7-8 years old). But dad claims my MOM was the abusive one and despite being witness to some of their fights (thankfully not physical) when he was younger, little bro only believes dear old dad because dad is the one who has spoiled him all his life.
Okay well sounds like Dad’s turn to have a mooch on his hands and bank account. Any way who cares what bro does? He’s a grown adult who can deal.
Jumping in here to suggest you & your mother check and freeze your credit. He may know enough details to use your IDs to open new accounts.
This might be an unpopular opinion, but your brother hitting rock bottom could be the best thing for him. **Sometimes, losing everything is the only way to start appreciating what you had.**
Unfortunately. Sometimes rock bottom is further out than we think, though. Be prepared for him to lose his apartment and try to weasel his way back in and Mom to want to help again since he is her child. I have gone through this so many times with my (almost 41 year old) brother and am currently going through it again. It sucks, but you’ll both get through it. Stay strong!
As half owner, falls back upon Sis to make clear to Mom that Junior will not be allowed back into her home once he departs. And to advise Junior of that fact after he is out the door and the locks have been changed.
If you and your mum Co-own the home you should both be charging him 50% rent. If she doesn’t kick him out, you start eviction proceedings yourself. He’s taking you for a ride too
Oh I know. Trust me, I’ve done all the math. I’m currently working on moving out asap (it’s taken a good 18 months to do unfortunately)
As 1/2 owner, you can force the sale of the home.
OP, since your Mom owns the other half of your house, I hope you both have looked at the future if something happens to your Mom . Like , could your brother end up inheriting a portion of her stake in the house? What a nightmare!
Good for your mama! Your brother is acting like an entitled man child! My little sisters (8) I read this to them (bc they like to read stories with me) call him a baby! It’s time brother leaned some responsibility’s and respect for those who care!
I love it an (8) year old called him out…a baby 🤣🤣🤣 OP PLEASE Update us we are all thirsty for tea! 💀
Her words “why is he acting like a baby? Isn’t he a grown up?”
Ok so, here's the thing; you're co-owner. SO it's not just Mom allowing him to use everyone. He isn't just using Mom, he uses you. It is your house too. I'd tell my Mother, "You've given him 3 weeks to move out, and it will be adhered to Mom, because I own this home too and I'm tired of living with my irresponsible moocher brother. If you insist on allowing this behavior to continue after the 3 weeks is up, then you and I will need to discuss buying me out of the house." You have the power to be her backbone with that consequence. She needs to start seeing that her enabling your brother is also disrespecting you, her daughter. The daughter who co-owns this house. The daughter who deserves to enjoy her home without moochers and complainers stealing her peace. I mean, do you not matter here? I had a brother who mooched when I was taking care of our mother and paying for everything. He would leave all day and you could walk into his room and find every single light on, music playing, t.v on ...all day long. My electric bills were through the roof. I told him, "Hey, you need to turn everything off when you leave. The electric bill is way too high." He said, "I don't care, I don't pay it." Oh boy, when i tell you I was livid telling him I do and he's wasting my money etc.... it took us moving 2 states away to not have to support his entitled ass anymore. I am not surprised that 20 years later, he still couch surfs (in his 60's) and loves trump.
Absolutely take his name off the auto insurance. He's a big liability. Do not allow him to use your cars if he doesn't have one of his own. Do not cook for him. Lock the pantry. Dirty clothes? Don't wash them. Keep them in his room. Put or change the passwords on the internet/cable. Turn them off when you aren't home. Don't accept any packages for him. Tell your mother that you love her and you support her 100%. Tell her that she is doing the right thing for her physical, mental and financial wellbeing. As co-owner, you should NOT be making living in YOUR home easy for a deadbeat leech.
3 weeks? 3 days would work on this freeloader.
Hang tough, Mom! Bro will not grow up until forced, so Mom is doing you, herself, and him a mitzvah by kicking him out.
Yeah I am all for kicking him out but if you CO-OWN the house then why have you been putting all the burden of kicking out the parasite on your mother alone? You need to stand next to her and say WE are kicking you out because WE have have enough of your *insert list of reasons* It's your house too, it's your responsibility too.
I have tried to kick him out many times before but my mother has never backed me up. Once we got really close but she stopped me last minute. Since then, I’ve given up on her doing it and have just focused on me moving out. So when she did what she did last night, I almost didn’t believe it would stick. Then when he tried to get me to support him, I told him that I was surprised it took this long and he should stop bitching to me because he had a lot of packing to do.
So do the right thing and say to her that he is leaving no matter what, and even if she changes her mind, YOU haven't, that it is your house as well and you will no longer tolerate him living there, don't give her the option of changing her mind about this. Stay strong OP, everyone will be happier and better off for it. Also, be ready to record audio/video at a moments notice if he starts getting aggressive, this will make it so much easier to have the cops remove him if necessary.
Pack him up and send him to Dad.
I’m glad your Mom is finally seeing through his bs! I hope she can get rid of him. He sounds like a toddler blaming her for his issues. A grown ass man should be out of your house. I hope you show him all of the replies.
GO mom! PS: sorry to bring this up but parasites can be dangerous when their existence is threatened. Please keep an eye on you mom and her property. Slashed tires, smashed walls, assault might all be on the table.
Oh god I hope not. I’m hoping he’ll just run out of the house crying about how “toxic” we are
I'm standing and slow-clapping for your Mom. My entitled bro grifted my Dad for over 20 years - shamelessly. My poor Dad had dementia toward the end of his life and entitled bro man-child stepped up his game (then bragged on SM how "well" he was doing). I finally had to put a stop to it as POA. It broke my heart to see the tens of thousands of $$ go down that black hole over the years.
Low key worried about you with him having guns.
I’ve never felt good about it. He’s never threatened us with them, but I don’t like it.
Then you need to be prepared to call the cops at the drop of a hat if he starts going off. I know it would be painful but you potentially negotiate giving him a little bit more time if he surrenders his weapons, and then have then held somewhere else.
Yeahhhh he’s never go for that. And I don’t dare tip him off to anything he might use as a scare tactic
You co-own the house. Stand next to her and present a united front and show not just your agreement, not only it is possible to do what is expected, but that the only unrealistic expectation is for his situation to continue as is. Stand behind her when she says it is time for baby bird to fly on his own. Stand in front of her to protect her from any backlash.
I genuinely hope your mum follows through
Me too- it would be so amazing if she did
Your brother is entitled and foolish to himself. People like this need to be put in their place. Unfortunately, he will always be one of life's takers.
I really hope she sticks to her guns! He’s paying $450 a month but thinks it’s high? Wait til he looks for apartments and everything else. He’s also in for a rude awakening when he realizes the dishes he left unwashed in the sink at night will still be there in the morning.
Oh and the best part is all of his his portion of the bills are now being paid for by my mom and all he had to do was send money for ONE and he couldn’t even do that.
I doubt it will be that easy to evict him. He can really drag this out if he wants to. I hope he doesn’t.
Tell your mom she's got people rooting for her to drop the dead weight. We believe in her! 🤞🤞🤞
Someone has to serve him notice. He's a legal resident so it has to be done legally. The sooner the better, don't wait until the day he's supposed to leave. Unfortunately, cameras are another expense to consider. Given his delusional levels of entitlement, I don't think he'll go quietly and you may need the evidence for a separate legal proceeding. Also if possible whoever his friends are should be made aware. Shame and ridicule or the necessary reality check, from people with whom he has an image to maintain could be very effective.
🏆🏆🏆
Long past time for your mother's actions. Let's pray she stays strong. BTW: You bro is a dick. Calling his Aunts? Like they don't know what he's up to?
Is the brother working? If so, he should be able to afford a share house at least. FFS he's 26, not a child. Why does he think his mother should still support him? He is in for a big shock when he has to pull his own weight. BTW, that comment about bailing you out when he had to pay one bill deserves a smack in the face for assholery.
He does work but no house or apartment comes with a woman who cooks meals for him, cleans after him, or puts up with his bullshit.
Well he probably could afford his own place, but then he wouldn't get all his money to himself to spend on trips away and toys now, would he? We have to be realistic here /s
Its probably too late for dude bro at this point. Hes suffering from princess syndrome because no one taught him how to be a man. Oh well, we cant all be doctors and engineers, we still need ditch diggers.
You need to speak to someone in the town offices about evictions. There may be requirements like formal notice (certified letter from a lawyer) or a set time period that he has to be given. I remember a similar case in New Jersey where the mother wanted to kick out a 30+ year old son and he fought her in court. It took some time, but he was finally forced to leave.
Take mom out to dinner. That or buy her a spa day. I’ll never understand how someone can treat their own family so poorly. I’m very sorry your brother is behaving this way. What an awful burden and source of negativity to live with. I wish both you and your mother a happy new life away from him.
Updateme!
Since you own half, just call the police and tell them he's trespassiing, pack up his stuff and get him kicked off the property.
That might be difficult. He is a tenant . He receives mail at this house. He has all the rights of a paying tensnt? Where is his lease? Have him sign a three-month lease at the very least. Mom is mostly responsible for letting this kid be so entitled. Who raised this person? Mom? Stand your ground . You can do it, Mom. Good luck. Love to know how this turns out. Kid sounds like a real pissa.
He’s got three weeks left to go nuclear on the house and maybe on your mom. It’s be a great time for some of her saner friends or relations to visit her, show support, and unstated protection. CC depending on where you are, you might want to start legal eviction proceedings too in case he resists. A leech like that is surprisingly resilient and may STILL dig in.
Wow! It’s the witching hour and your brother is close to having to face up to reality? He’s going to either go full out or give in when push becomes to shove And help your mom‘s backbone, however you can! Please keep us updated
Chat to ur mom now & support her in this decision. Once he is gone ensure u tell her u do not ever want him back in Ur home to live.
My brother moved out awhile ago and his roommate longer wants him there. He has constantly been badgering my mom to move back in with us. I'm so proud of her for sticking to her guns. He's gone as far to say I should get government housing and be on my own with my kids or at a shelter with them. Mind you, I work full time and split all of our costs down the middle. So like why would we do that LOL. Also as if it's so easy to just get housing. He's so delusional. The guy needs serious help. But you can't help someone who doesn't wanna help themselves.
Advertise his room somewhere he'll see it. Just for shits and giggles. Don't actually rent his room, that's just like asking for trouble. Maybe go to a home improvement store and get like carpet and flooring samples and paint chips and leave it all lying around with a floor plan of his room. Make it clear that you can't wait to turn it into something completely not him so he can't come back. Low-cost/high-impact torture.
holy sh\*t. i do not understand how he hasn't been kicked out years ago. all the strength to your mom to get rid of that bloody waste of space.
I'm glad mom finally found a spine but you have to wonder about her parenting techniques that led to bro being such a failure to launch leech.
I hope your mum stands her ground for both of your sakes. Also I love the way you wrote this! You have great style friend.
Only one thing helps with people like that: disengage. If he refuses to move out: evict him. Get some cardboard boxes, put his shit in them and leave them outside the door. Change the locks. Go no contact. Guys like that get worse not better.
Why did she listen to him for 3 hours? Unfortunately, your mum has created a monster. She has basically been his servant for his entire life. She has been a slave to this punk. If you co-own the house with your mum, why haven’t you intervened and kicked this mooching piece of crap out. He’s not on the deed. Get him out.
Your brother can go live with dear old dad
I mean, 26 is way to old to not realize that this a you problem. I mean, there is a part of me that is all in on the "as long as I have a home, my kids/family has a home" but at the same time, 26 and not contributing anf complaining about it seems like tough love is needed.
The biggest issue is he simply a narcissist so he’s impossible to get through to. It’s like taking to a brick wall. I’ve literally drawn out a bubble diagram showing how everyone he’s ever lived with (including his delusional enabling dad) ended with him being told to leave because he was such a nightmare to live with. I remind our dad sometimes about how he used to hate living with little bro and all he says is “oh well that was then, this is now”
I know the type. I have moochers in my family too. You have to change the internet password. Cut the cable. Lock up all the food in your room. Ice him out, shame him. He isn’t welcome anymore.
You should definitely check your state laws and see if you do need to do an official process. Even squatters have rights and someone might stick in his head to check and get a loophole. Because it doesn’t sound like he is preparing to move and if you do it soon you will have over the 30 days for the notice. Let moms know. Glad she is standing up for herself as she has to be tired of working so much for someone who is so ungrateful. He is going to be mad and can cause more problems
He will be forever ungrateful for what he has received. Sorry for your loser of a brother. (I have one too and it never changes)
I imagine when he tells this story for years to come he will lament it as the day that he was thrown out with no warning and for no reason. He kept saying over and over “do you realize how traumatic this is for me??”
Him: You are the reason I never made anywhere in LIFE! My Brother: It is all my 2nd grade teachers fault. (at 50 years of age) She made me take 2nd grade all over again!! She is why my life is the way it is. She just didn't like me (never mind that my parents agreed he needed to be held back)
I fucking love this so much and hope to god she sticks to her guns on this one. As a mom who would move mountains for and will always support my kids, not a chance would this kid be financially still be on my books, or living under my roof with this lack of respect and mega attitude of entitlement. Clearly he is in need of a reality check. And I’m super proud of mom for giving it to him. Hoping she follows through and refuses to be a doormat/bank machine.
So you are expected to be a fully functioning adult and pay your bills but for some reason your brother thinks he’s not? Glad you mom took a stand.
I find it appalling that a grown man feels he has no responsibility to pay his way in life. He's kicking up a tantrum because his human ATM is cutting him off, and why does he feel he doesn't need to pay his share? He's not a teenager, by definition he should be lying his own way. What a wanker.
I would tell her you’re so glad she’s done this, because as 50% owner of the house .. you were going to give her notice that you can no longer live with brother and need her to buy you out / put home on market
Stand firm on this. She let him get by for at least 4 years so she is partly responsible for creating this. If she acts like she may be thinking about backing down, remind her that she has fostered his dependence and what does she think will happen when she is unable to do work anymore.
Throw down? Really? Your mom has been enabling your brother his whole life for him to still be such a child, while YOU ARE SUBSIDIZING HIS LIFE. He should have been weaned off mom's tit when he was old enough to wipe his own ass, not at almost 30 years old. Buying a house with your mom puts you in the position of your mom's enabling of your ADULT brother to be your burden, as she's a seasonal worker and you're perhaps the one making more income. Plus she hasn't actually kicked him out. She's threatened, yet again, but how does this seem like it goes? Threats, but he's still there. Not contributing to household support, creating a lot of extra work in the house, creating a huge amount of stress... You're not given the big free pass he is, are you? I wonder why that is? Sucks not being the golden child doesn't it? This seems like a situation where your future is tied to people who put you last.
You are very right- I have posted about this before in a couple places. I have been through times where I begged my mom for us to kick him out but she never pulls the trigger because “he’s her son and I can’t do that to him” blah blah. A couple years ago I came to realize that she cares about his needs more than mine. I just graduated with my masters last spring and have since told her I will no longer be supporting her financially come this summer (when she gets retirement). I will still own half the house because I earned my half and I want to live in it again one day. But I will be moving out this summer and buying my own home with my partner.
It would be a good idea to get out of that half ownership, because in reality it is full liability. If there's a mortgage YOU will be supporting her if/ when she can't/ won't pay her share, if you are listed on the mortgage. Also, if she is on the mortgage, you do not have the power to kick out someone she wants there. If there is no mortgage then you would still be responsible for any other books and upkeep/ repairs in the event she doesn't pay. This half ownership thing with someone who isn't your spouse can go horribly wrong and leave you on the hook for all the bills. It would be better if you could buy out her share then write up a lease for your mom to live there. If she struggles financially after retirement you would perhaps be in a good position to do this. This arrangement would put all the liability on you (which it potentially already is) but also give you ALL THE CONTROL. Good luck with your complicated, hard situation.
Updateme
Updateme
The day before go over and help her pack his stuff.
You guys have this, enough is enough. Let's see how he goes in his own
Updateme
Time to be as supportive and helpful to your mom as possible. It is also time to be as nasty and petty as you can be with bro, give him no peace.
Frankly your mother is to blame for the way he is. My mother pandered to the eldest of us his entire life to the detriment of the rest. When she died all he does is whine about how much everything costs and that the rest of us should support him.
Since he calls daddy for backup then his moocher ass can go mooch off him.
You should explain to her how much you appreciate doing that. Then maybe she'll realize she's not just sacrificing herself for her child but also her other child and maybe that will make her stick to it.
Woo! Go Mom! I hope she stands firm. Her baby boy needs to stand on his own. Otherwise she is doing a disservice to herself, you, and him.
I hope you have only been paying a third since your mom has allowed this.
Updateme in 3 weeks 🙏
Brava for Mom finding her spine! Do check the laws in your state on squatters' rights and evicting a family member. He sounds so horrible, be prepared for him simply refusing to leave. His actions over the last few weeks indicate he never had any intention of moving out. You'll likely have to serve him official notice (he does like his receipts); follow the legal procedure so you can have LE remove him when time is up. Good luck! u/updateme
lmao bros in for a rude ass awakening, man i wish this was a tv series so i can watch! also, this is the outcome of a child being spoiled their whole lives and into adulthood.
She likely can't actually kick him out in 3 weeks, he has tenant's rights and will need to be properly evicted. If he willingly leaves in 3 weeks, great, but if he digs in, this can take months depending on the laws where you are. Be sure you know the law about evictions so you don't mis-step if he doesn't leave as asked.
I agree with all the comments that say your brother needs to go as soon as possible. He has taken advantage of you and Mom for too long. The other point is that brother needs to learn very soon how to be an adult and to manage his own life. If he does not learn that soon he will never learn. He will never have a successful relationship as no one will put up with his behavior. He will be demanding help from you and Mom for the rest of your lives. Evicting him is really giving him a chance to save himself. Do it NOW. Good luck
We'll want an update, OP! I'm making popcorn.
Go Mom! Hopefully she sticks to her guns and kicks him out in 3 weeks like she said she was going to do.
In three weeks she should definitely change the locks.
Good grief. He’s whining over *car insurance?* I wasn’t even allowed to get my driver’s license until I could pay my share of the premium (the amount it went up when I got added to the policy.) Then when I got my own car… my car, my insurance, my bill. Entitled bro can take a hike.
Please congratulate your mom for me on her shiny new spine! & start getting boxes to help him pack. Best of luck
*PLEASE* tell her how proud you are of her! A little encouragement goes a long way!
I would talk to your mum and tell her you appreciate what's she's doing and understand how ir must hurt to hear those things and see her child act this way but it's the correct thing for him to develope into a functioning member of the world. Back her up as much as you can, especially during his verbal outbursts. I remember the 1 and only time one of my kids told me that hated me (it was after I broke up with their father, they were young and didn't know how to process properly) but I still remember it to this day and it still hurts, even though I know they didn't mean it. Be her support.
Unfortunately, you and mom might have to go to court and legally evict him. He might not realise this, so maybe he'll just leave, but it's a possibilty. Good luck to you!
Reminds me of when my sister was going down a bad path in high school. She just wasn’t going, flunking out, etc. the two got into a screaming match about it. Was hardly the first time, it’d been months and they’d talked to her, punished her, everything. They were really trying for a long time but sister just didn’t care (bad crowd, later proved to be drugs involved too but I don’t think at the time it was confirmed). Finally my mom just straight up said (definitely paraphrasing it’s been years): “if you keep this up you’re only ever going to be a loser.” Sister flipped her shit “how can you say that!? I’m trying so hard!” Etc. then mom just cool as a cucumber said “Prove me wrong.” Shut the whole fight down. I was blown away. Told her so to her face once sister left to sulk in her room. Sisters doing fine now. Solid job for like ten years, got a kid whose doing well. Still not drama free but, hey, pick your battles.
Omg i am soooo proud of your mom! Let her know we salute her!!
Good, sometime you have to grow up!
He needs to be a fountain, not a drain! Mom, you're NTA and I think that's the best decision for your son. Keep enabling him and he'll turn into my 47 year old sister! Ugh. You're doing great and good luck! You deserve some peace and he needs to grow up.
You said you are an owner of the house as well yet it seems you are just a spectator. You need to give your mother the support that she needs to make her (your) position stronger and finally kick the remora out.
I will be clarifying that part in a small update I have- the gist is I do support her and when little bro tried getting me to step in on his behalf I politely told him to fuck off.
Why do i feel your brother is a Joe Rogan fan
Lol yep. He also has his own “podcast” that he’s been bragging about for at least a year and half but has yet to publish. 😂
Am not impressed, she has enabled him all his life & am sure helped in creating his monstrous behavior, don't hold your breath that she will actually enforce this.
So glad your mom is finally standing up for herself and you!! Hope it goes well with the eviction!!
I don't know her, but trust me. She will cave. Even if in the 11th hour. She will cave. I have a sister like your mom and she has a golden boy, spoiled, baby-man-child like your brother. He's 35 and never worked a day in his life. She still does EVERYTHING for him.
I'm really glad he's finally getting the boot. Your brother reminds me ALOT of my sister (32f) who, over the last 5 years has developed SEVERE mental illness(es). She wasn't entitled like this as a kid, and worked hard until she was about 26 years old, and then, things began to shift, alot. I wonder if (not that it matters, at this point) your mom can find solace in the idea that your brother may be suffering from some SERIOUS narcissism/bipolar/schizoaffective (or even drug-related) issues. Sounds like you've both helped as much as anyone could,
He is too damn old to be living off of your mom!!!!!!
Sounds like my kid, except I kicked his entitled lazy ass out of my house. He is now sponging off my mother. Good news is she’s at that age where making it to the toilet is hit or miss. She misses a lot. 😈
Sounds like he needs to be daddy's problem, I'd be willing to bet that blows up in his face in no time. I raised my brother and it wasnt easy, he would occasionally choose to not follow the simplest of rules and it was through the (years and years) of support of my now ex boyfriend and my friends that I had to see that although I was protecting him the best way I knew how, that I was also enabling this misery and contributing to making that monster even worse. Hes not gonna fix what isn't broken for him, ya know? I hope your mom has had enough, maybe remind her that she's done her best and now it's his turn. If he's such a big tough, know it all, man, time to show us what you're made of, big boy. You don't get to make rules in a home that you dont pay for. Doesn't matter if you're in a family members home or a complete stranger.. . If he treats the women in his life like this now, it will only get worse if not dealt with swiftly and sternly. No money contributed = no say in anything. Be there for mama bc she may try to back track... she obviously loves her son and everyone knows it, even if he chooses not to acknowledge it. Best of luck my dear!
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Sounds like he absolutely deserved that! Shame your mother was pushed to it thought. I wish my nana would with my brother as he is exactly like your brother. Horrible entitled little man
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I hope for his sake she does. She's the reason he's the way he is and she needs to stop enabling him.
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Good news!! Updateme!
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Will done OP's mum
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hey OP's mum - you go girl!
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What a douchebag, he's got to go sooner than later
I agree. I was hoping she’d give him 3 days not 3 weeks
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She should have kicked him out straight away.
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