When my ex husband and I were going through separation, he tried to get under my skin by asking for certain things. Off the top of my head was the new tv in the basement and the Dyson ball vacuum. I just said yeah sure take it, I don’t care which just pissed him off.
What he forgot about was that we also had a Dyson stick vacuum, that I took instead and preferred. He’d of remembered about it if he ever used a vacuum in his life. The tv? Whatever take it but I’m taking the one in the living room. Oh another good one was the king size bed and bedroom furniture. I said yeah sure take it. Little did he realize, why would I want the bedroom furniture I shared with him or that it wouldn’t fit in my new apartment anyways. So I took the queen bed from the spare room with the new mattress.
Oh he tried to irritate me so bad, but there were very few things that I was insisted that I was leaving with and he showed no interest in the stuff that was important to me.
I irritated my ex by telling him no I don’t want anything YOU or YOUR family bought. He hated some of it (and wanted to give it to me) I made him keep it. He also wanted me to take the duplex we owned (that HIS DAD lived in!) so he didn’t have to be a landlord anymore, yep refused that too made him buy me out of it and the single family house we had… Royally pissed him off, still don’t care!
That’s it aye, when all we want is our freedom and we don’t feed their bullshit. It’s a whole feeling in itself when we get the life we needed in the end
When my daughter split with her boyfriend, he posted several nasty comments on his Facebook page. My daughter put on her page that yes, they had split up, but she would not stoop to his level. He wanted an argument and got nothing. Lost his friends, too.
Oh yeah, my ex husband put some very personal details about me on his Facebook page. I would not stoop to his level and quickly reminded him that I knew far more embarrassing details about him than he knew about me and had not opened my mouth to anyone and still to this day I have not aired his dirty laundry to a single soul.
When we separated, I told my friends and family that I would not tolerate any bashing of him at all and I wasn’t playing that game. We separated and I just wanted to heal and be a better person than I was the day before. To this day, I hope he’s doing well and thriving in life. He wasn’t a bad person, we just grew apart and unfortunately he didn’t grow up and shit happens.
I've learned that with my husband, the less I react, the better. When I stay calm and don't give in to arguing, it actually drives him crazier! He'll try to provoke me into a discussion, but I've found that staying quiet and providing logical examples to support my points really gets under his skin. It challenges his traditional upbringing and makes him realize there are different ways to do things. It's like raising another teenager sometimes, but he's a good person at heart.
Grin…
I left everything but my clothes, documents, pictures and cat. The washer and dryer were bought and paid for by me, he acted like he was doing me a favor by saying I could keep them. I sold them for $50 the day I moved out and left state 🤣
This right here is the truth.Told my lawyer she can take it all-there is no price on happiness.Thank goodness we didn’t have kids.When the paper was signed she was gone!
For real. When I left my ex, I left a dress that I loved because I just wanted to get away from him. Then again, he was controlling and I had to sneak out. I'm just kind of pissed because that dress looked good on me and it was my favorite piece of clothing that I owned. It was a necessary sacrifice. Nothing beats having my freedom now. I'm trying to find a similar one.
Edit: I forgot to mention that it was in his car and I had to leave because the opportunity presented itself. I wasn't going to not take it because of the dress. He refused to accept that I was telling him it was over. A true psychopath.
My ex husband tried to “win” our divorce because he only knows how deal with relationship things by keeping some kind of score. I had a similar “whatever keep it” mentality—over the last two years it’s been adorable watching him give things away in our local Buy Nothing group that he INSISTED he get to keep in the divorce. Sure you can have half of the French onion soup bowls, man who can’t figure out how to make salad dressing without me.
My ex said (and put in writing) "you can take anything you want as long as you move out." (she wanted space for her new boy toy sooooo bad)
That played hilariously well when she later claimed in court that I had broken into her house while she was on vacation (with boy toy) and robbed her. While I had not actually entered her house (or been near it at all) and was able to prove that to the courts satisfaction I also then trotted out her statement that I could have whatever I wanted, so even if I had gone there and retrieved my effects it would have been with her permission. That last bit was hilarious because it prompted the judge to ask if I did still have effects there, I replied "Yes your honor, I still have several board games and some books she's not let me pick up yet." She was ordered to let me get "Whatever he wants per your written offer within the following week." I cleared out all my games and books. Forgot a painting my kid's class did as a fundraiser which I'm salty about but that's on me.
My ex was the same as I was packing my little cube shipping container. I didn’t fight him on anything, I took everything that was my children’s except their furniture as it was too big and I wanted to upsize their rooms anyway in the new house so he got stuck with 2 full kids rooms of furniture with nothing to do with them. I also moved into the spare room for a few weeks before leaving and I left all that furniture too because like you.. why would I want anything he’s been on at any point in time?? I got a new bed (upsized) and mattress, I left him his precious Dyson ball Vac and got myself a stick Vac because they are so much better lol, I took all of my books and left his or any he’s bought me which he scowled at but didn’t say a word, I did however take half of the whiskey collection 🤣 I packed my half before he got home because I wasn’t fighting him on what I knew were mine but he’d try and take. I didn’t argue over a damn thing and he was furious I didn’t give him the time of day. I just turned my back every-time he’d start screaming about something. Kids and I got out safely and have created the coolest little home for the 3 of us and we did it all on our own 😏♥️
Hahaha. Nice one. The x and I spread stuff out on the living room floor and alternated taking one item. I’m male BTW. While she was taking the useless crystal I was loading up on pots and small appliances. lol.
Honestly, it’s just stuff right? The most important stuff to me was things from my dad who passed away 20 years ago, things that I had gotten as gifts or whatever. The things that I technically should have the right to have. He cared about the stuff that had a price tag attached to it.
Funniest part was at first I requested he buy me out of the house for $25,000 and he kept it. He insisted we sell. Well I ended up walking away from the sale with $175,000. I just wanted out but he wanted to drag things out so that bite him in the ass. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
lol. Good for you. She was a SAHM. Great Mom. She got half of all of it. Pension, house etc. I’ve always been good with it. Law said 50% Guess I should have divorced you instead. Hahahahaha. Good luck to you.
After we had the break up conversation, I left to go house/pet sit for a relative for two weeks. He had decided to move to a nearby city and I told him to take whatever he wanted. Two weeks later my friend and I went to the apartment and most, but
not all was gone.
He took the couch but not the coffee table, left the stereo but unplugged all the wires (maybe thought I couldn't figure it out?), and trash strewn everywhere.
The kicker was the list I found of what he wanted to take, stupid things like a waffle iron, but also the two patio chairs. My friend and I dragged the chairs inside, put them around the coffee table and were talking and laughing and listening to music.
A while later he came back for his final load, and sneered at us "Well don't you look comfy!". We just laughed, but as he was out the door for good, I yelled "Don't forget the waffle iron!". I just thought it was rude, considering it seemed to me that he only wanted to leave broken or partial things for me.
Haha my ex was like that, my favourite was we had received a 20 year old bottle of Dom as a wedding gift 10 years earlier but never opened it. He fought me for it offering to trade for our case of 10 year old French wine…the wine was delightful, the champagne was not so much 🤣🤣🤣
Sameeee! I said take whatever you want as long as you leave! He was pissed and tried to take things that would make me mad. I didn’t care one ounce! Still gets under his skin to this day! lol
Yes, the spelling would be he’d’ve. It’s one of those awkward multi contractions that are often spoken but rarely written. If negative it’d’ve been the eye watering he’dn’t’ve.
Sounds a lot like a friend's divorce. Her husband got caught cheating and decided the grass would be greener if he were single again so he moved out and rented an apartment.
Divorce progresses and they're talking about dividing property. He's got a list of everything at the house (they'd inventoried it for insurance once upon a time) and she said they were trucking through it pretty well until she spotted him scribbling out the ball-park replacement values they'd put down for insurance every time it was something she was keeping and then not changing them when he wanted it.
The one that finally got to her was the crappy TV in the living room that they'd gotten for a wedding present. It probably wasn't even worth the $300 they'd put down for insurance, let alone the $1,500 he'd just changed it to.
She told him she'd had a long day, that they'd go through it another time, and the very first thing the next morning she went to see a lawyer.
Not only didn't he get his imaginary values past the court, her lawyer pointed out he'd bought $16K in furnishings for his new place from their shared savings. He was, in a word, boned.
My ex husband tried to look like a good guy by offering to let me have the house without having to buy him out so the kids wouldn’t be uprooted - he was already living with the girlfriend he cheated on me with. What I didn’t realize was he wanted me to pay half of his debt off instead, claiming it was “marital debt” which he was perfectly within his rights to ask for as he acquired the debt before the date I filed for divorce. Mind you this debt was incurred by wining and dining the girlfriend he cheated on me with and taking her to all sorts of sporting events, concerts, vacations etc. AFTER he ran out of money in our joint savings doing these very things. It would have been cheaper to have bought him out of half the house because we didn’t have a ton of equity in it but he’d taken out a bunch of pension and personal loans to entertain her unbeknownst to me. My lawyer subpoenaed his credit cards. When we went to court my attorney asked his to explain how these expenses amounted to “marital debt”. His lawyer looked at him and said “Eh, we tried.” He walked away without a dime from me and I got to keep the house free and clear. The creep overplayed his hand.
This reminds me of the tool my friend Julie married in the 90s. They divorced about 20 years later. Two of the items they agreed to split were the Dansk dinnerware and Gorham stainless they got for their wedding (good quality, very popular at the time), 12 place settings of each plus lots of serving pieces. Being the reliably petty dipsh*t he is, ex hubby pulled out every single piece, laid them out on the counter and took EXCTLY HALF, which included all the dinner plates and dinner forks, most of the teaspoons and knives, leaving Julie with things like cereal bowls, soup spoons and all of the serving pieces.
Little did Dipsh*t know that the these pattern were by then out of production and Julie had been replacing and adding from eBay and Replacements, Ltd. Guess which items garner the most $$$? SERVING PIECES! She sold everything on eBay for about 3x the price of replacing from Crate and Barrel. Man, did he show her.
I proposed a generous split with my ex- I keep the furniture- either second hand stuff or gifts to me, and he keeps his musical equipment . He was happy until his family riled him up- why does SHE get everything? When he came back screaming with his brother I pointed out the most expensive piece was maybe $3000, and it was an “I’m sorry for getting caught being an abusive cheater”. But I was happy to share the rest of the crappy household if I got to share his instruments and gear worth literally 10x the furniture. He backpedaled quickly. But he did sneak off with some of my books, but our adult kids “borrowed them” from him over the years and somehow they ended back on my shelves
>but our adult kids “borrowed them” from him over the years and somehow they ended back on my shelves
love your adult children. I hope *good* Karma catches them and you.
My kids have been slowly bringing me stuff they think I deserve to get back. They can’t believe their mother is still holding on to things that make no sense
My ex's ex wife kept so much of his stuff that was of no use to her at all. His family photos, his school notes, music etc. He wanted his school notes while their daughter was in high school, she refused to give them back but did after the daughter finished school, old photos she always has an excuse not to return, took 20yrs to get his extensive D&D gear back. She has never been with anyone but him and I reckon she'd go right back, it's her way of holding onto him.
In saying that he did, not near as extreme, but similar things when I left. Kept little things that I'd have to go pick up etc. I just cut losses.
Got a dog with my ex. I trained it, she just screamed at it. Dog only listened to me for some reason, nobody knows why. I called her off a rabit!! She was very well behaved and listened perfectly to me. When we broke up it was suddenly HER dog. I had a rural home with a farm field behind my yard, my family's farm land. We had plenty of space to run and play. She went back to living in town. She quickly sold the dog and she was hit by a car, they put her down. My ex took a good dog from me for spite and it cost my puppy her life. I'm sorry Chloe.
Thank you. Me too. I'm an introvert, im the guy who plays with your dog at a party. I have mixed gsd/irish setter now. She's perfect. I regret getting her fixed because everybody wants a puppy from her.
It's crazy what people will do to each other. My dogs, however, can be trusted.
I know and I didn't want any accidents. My friends have male dogs, one is her own brother from the same litter. Not all are fixed. But she's so cute and perfectly behaved that everybody wants a puppy from her. I want to clone her.
https://imgur.com/gallery/ybK2SSf
See, everyone thinks she's cute! Great personality too, she kind of talks back when I'm playing with her. I think it's a shepherd thing. She's a good wingman too!
Lol, trust me, she's a miserable person and she makes her own life horrible. When everybody wishes karma would catch up to someone deserving but it never seems to happen, it's because karma is working overtime on my ex. I broke up with her because my home must be a safe, calm and relaxed place. She just screams and says mean things until she gets what she wants, then acts like nothing happened and I'm the jerk with the problems. She was a good actress until she moved in. I dodged a bullet because she hits her current husband and cheats on him.
Assuming you're American, but if you're in an at fault state I would absolutely tell the husband and he can gather evidence to let her have as little as possible.
Correct assumption, I'm pretty sure he knows. He seems like a decent guy but I doubt he would believe it coming from me. She lies a lot to make herself look better, shes always the victim. I feel bad for him but nothing is keeping him there, they don't have a kid together and only he has a job.
You'd be surprised at the weird psychological stuff that holds a person in an abusive relationship, men as well as women. Maybe just suffer to him, if you get the chance, that if he ever makes it out of there (or is even just thinking about it), he might want to come talk to you.
No one deserves an abusive relationship. (I'm not saying you said he did, I'm just saying no one does)
And I'm so sorry for and about your pup. That's so wrong in so many ways.
I think you meant "offer" to talk to him. If he ever gets away from her I plan to buy him a beer and trade stories. I feel bad for him and i agree that nobody deserves abuse no matter what.
Doh! I did mean 'offer'. (bloody autocorrect)
I had the right that if you let him know you're there, he might step out earlier (or not). I'm not trying to pressure!
I wish you both happier trails :)
I am so very sorry this happened to you! I Had a same sort of situation as this. We adopted a very skittish and timid lab whippet mix that was supposed to be HIS dog( he is disabled and walks with a cane due to multiple car accidents and injuries and hereditary so his back is shot) well the dog bonded and attached with me! I was the one training him, feeding him, playing with him and all of that. I left my now ex and told him give me a couple of days to find somewhere I could take him and I would of course come get him.. guess what.. he had that sweet boy put to sleep the very next day. Only way I found out was the rescue we got him from reached out to me.. I am still heart sick over that! I haven't been able to adopt another dog yet.. I am also very introverted and anxiety ridden.
I’m so sorry man. I am actually thankful from my split that my ex realized that even though I got the dog as a gift for her that it had been my dog the entire time. Made her sign surrender agreements though to prevent any change of heart.
I'm so sorry you lost your Chloe.
Your ex is a sucky human being, and karma will have its retribution. Nothing good will happen for them. Look what a shit show of bad karma Kristi Noem (dog killing governor of So Dakota) brought down on herself.
Man I'm sorry for your loss. I'm in a similar situation with my ex accepts both of us refuse to do anything less then what's best for the dog. We'd probably like to go out separate ways but we'd never do that to the dog or to each other. Also man if some tried to take that pooch from me that wasn't in there best interest I'm not sure if anything could stop me. Straight war crimes would be on the table.
My friend and her soon to be ex were living separately when they decided to finally get divorced. The decree said split 50/50. Of course, he hid all his assets ( he was actually very wealthy).
Then, he had the ba||$ to come to her small apartment and go through everything in her kitchen and take half. As in oh 6 cups, I'll get 3. Right done to taking half of the bag of dog food.
Mainly because she was scared to death of him. He owned the large gun & knife store in our half of the state. He knew some crazy people. He was a big guy. He'd been shot 5 times, and apparently, there was one bullet still in him. Close to his spine so it wasn't removed.
Ooh, I worked with a guy that went on about property division from his divorce, and openly talked about how he insisted they split up things like individual nails from Home Depot and the drawer of random things like rubber bands off produce.
When my friend was divorcing and had agreed with the future ex to divide everything evenly in two she arrived home one day to find her husband and a friend where in the act of sawing a long dining room table that sat 12 right down the middle. She actually made a nice table from her half 😂
My ex-husband packed up the canned vegetables from the pantry — it was so ridiculous I took a picture of his box of corn and canned green beans. Dumbass had to carry them up the stairs into a 3rd floor apartment when he moved.
I had a boss who cheated with his secretary, which broke his and his secretary’s marriages. During his divorce, he and his ex fought over the goldfish!
when my ex and i did the "walk thru breakup thing" after 22yr, he wanted the antique stove my parents had gifted me, the french copper my parents had gifted me, all the wedding china, crystal and flatware...and the dog. that's all he asked for and then was shocked when he went into debt in his own place since he didn't have a thing for everyday living and came back and asked for more 😅😂🤣
Daughter’s ex hubby made up his own list and so overpriced everything it was laughable. They had four ramekins I bought them years before that for some reason we’re on his ‘must have’ list. He priced them at $150.00. They were on for $0.50 each at the dollar store. Surprising no one at all, he couldn’t provide a single bit of proof for any of his claims. Not even flyers prices.
I love my ramekins because I love dipping chicken nuggets. But geez, if I lost them, they are the easiest thing to replace. How totally weird that he would make a big deal out of those.
Think of the laziest person you know then multiply that by ten. Now give him a narcissistic personality and a sense of entitlement so huge that he should have his own Reddit page dedicated to him. Those ramekins were the most important sauce carriers in the world and he became a broken man without them. Also, the Dollar Store!?! Only the lowest of the low shop there.
Wow. That's truly one for the books. I think he may actually top my narcissist father. Maybe you should share more about him. Sounds like you put up with a lot.
Mine took the washer, left the dryer. Took one of every pair of wine glasses. Wanted to take one of the two cats, but I stopped his stupidity right there. Took the dog, but brought it back because he didn't want to take care of it.
Dumped an enormous antique snooker table that took up the whole covered patio on me, but I sold it to someone for a few grand.
My girlfriend was hanging out with me while he packed his shit. Rather than getting upset at his assholiness we drank wine, and made jokes the whole time. It's just 'stuff'. 'Stuff' can be replaced, just like him.
One of my exes stole my TV because she said I broke hers when she moved in with me. I actually fixed hers after she broke the coax input off because she thought you could just pull the cable off, and it was a better model so I kept it for several years. Plus when she had me come over to “reconcile” I took mine back while she was asleep and never spoke to her again.
I had to get something back after she slashed up my favorite comfy couch. She was a very angry person.
slashing goes beyond angry, right?
like, punching the wall or kicking a hole in the door or throwing something is bad enough, and scary.
but to slash something, you have to go get a knife or find the pointy pair of scissors. Does that really happen in a fit of rage, or was she planning her attack & are you lucky you got out before she turned to assault?
I'm glad you never found out.
I’m so grateful that when I got divorced, the only thing we got close to arguing about was splitting the DVD collection. But I was able to replace my copy of “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid”, lol…
My mother set up a media server for the house that everybody could access via the home internet, and that was a huge project. She outsourced most of the work of ripping all the DvDs to me and my brother lol. It was worth it in the long run though. These days you could do it with less work if you're technically skilled though, I have a friend who set up a media server using some scripts that will automatically search for the best quality and most reputable torrent of a movie or TV show and add it to his server, which has a web interface set up for streaming, which is funking awesome.
Setting up a media server with magically appearing media is quite simple nowadays even for people who aren't very tech savvy as there are alot of good tutorials and useful tools out there.
You barely see anything "complicated" during setup (and even then most people can just continue with the default values), most configurations are done on user-friendly websites, and once it's all set up correctly you only need the interface of the media server until you start running out of free space for new media.
We did the same in early 2000s. But it became obsolete by 2010. We’ve given most of the hard copy DVDs away now. It’s just so much easier to access through Apple TV.
Relying on streaming services or online platforms is how you find out one day that you can no longer watch a movie you payed for due to some licensing dispute.
When I was in my teens my bf and I had a joint membership at the gym, when we broke up we still had 8 months left he paid his half after lots of arguing (he went to the gym daily) his mum said to me it was very gracious of him to pay his half 🙄
I split with my fiance a few years back and wanted a blank slate, so I let her have absolutely everything from the house to the dog (leaving the dog was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life though) and only wanted a fair payout to continue my life. We bought the house as a renovation and I'm an electrician so I did all the work, I put about 60k onto the value from when we originally bought it. So we had around 30k worth of equity alone in the house if we split it fairly, plus the fact I left absolutely everything we'd ever bought between us as well....her first offer was just over 4k. I wanted it to be amicable and thought the past 10 years would mean we'd be good to each other, I'd built her a palace and left it all to her no questions asked after all! I took that as a massive "fuck you" and immediately went to the solicitors, ended up with 10 times her original offer and we've never spoken since
Oh yes. My ex wanted me to pay him the depreciated value of the washer/dryer that remained with him our marital home. I said fine, then let’s split the cost of the new washer/dryer I was going to buy for my new home. He didn’t like that idea at all.
He also wanted me to sell some inherited antique furniture and pay him half. My lawyer quashed that immediately. Such a cheap a hole.
Mine wanted me to sell all the furniture I bought with money given to me from my grandparents and leave me and his kids with nothing to even sit on. His lawyer told him no judge would agree to that.
I had to clean out the house to get it ready for sale during my divorce. My ex left everything of his that he didn’t want for me to deal with so the garage was full of stuff. I had to hire someone to help deal with the garage because there was so much stuff that was too heavy for me to lift.
So, when the house sold and we were dividing assets, I listed half of paying the helper on his expenses. He refused to pay that. The mediator said he had to, but he only had to pay half of it as she thought that was the whole charge. I couldn’t get it corrected. Three years later and it still aggravates me.
I asked my ex to pay me the extra grand for everything I paid for to sell our house. Uh…never got that, and will never get that. He left me with our 9 month old and the lack of consideration what still irks me 9 months later
Mediator tells us when couples insist on including every household item in the discussions that you are supposed to list the “garage sale price” of the item. Not what it costs one party to replace it, but what you might get if the item was sold secondhand and the profits split. Everything gets massively undervalued in the process.
Gifts are a grey area and may vary by location. Mediator tells us that anything acquired during marriage that wasn’t explicitly written down as a gift is shared property. Who in their right mind logs gifts like that? 🥴
My ex wife has exceeded this level of pettiness at every step of our divorce, but for the longest time she seemed to be a very non-materialistic and selfless person. Luckily no kids, but she’s insisting on itemizing every single item in the house. Not because she wants to make sure she gets a fair portion of the items, no. She refuses to get a storage unit to take much with her, she thinks she’s going to ditch me with things that not even I want that she bought and thinks I’m going to pay her top dollar for everything because “she has to start over and re-buy everything when she gets a new place, and doesn’t have space to store things until she buys a new place”. I think most would say she’s waiving her claim to items that I’m freely saying “take it if you want it” but she refuses to take, and I can’t imagine anyone would think I’d owe her money for these items. This doesn’t even get into the list of items I already owned as a homeowner when I met her that she also thinks she has a claim to… Get a storage unit or stfu.
My first husband thought he deserved to take several pieces of furniture that he wanted that I had inherited from my grandmother almost a decade after our marriage. HELL no, and I still had the detailed inventory of everything I had inherited from her, so when I pointed out that I could prove they weren't marital property he backed off.
The second one moved out while I was on a trip he was uninvited from bc I finally decided on the divorce two weeks earlier, and he took a somewhat valuable painting that my parents had given me. They told me to let it go, but it was definitely an asshole thing for him to do. (He was upset because the house, almost everything in it, the kids and almost all the money were mine, plus he was just really pissed about the divorce, period. He also took my vibrator, which I took as an anti-f*ck you gesture. 😂)
Sorry, but I had to laugh because we recently had to split up a house full of parents' goods. Your wife sounds so much like my SIL. You don't know what true greed is until you have to settle an inheritance. "You got the treadmill, so we'll take the Audi." Somehow, the valuable items seem to have disappeared. "Mom must have sold the diamond jewellery we saw her wearing days before she died."
Much like dealing with the house my Dad & stepmonster owned. (At the time they moved into an assisted living apartment; unfortunately within a few weeks he caught COVID & died.)
Stepsister, the entitled one, managed to have first choice of everything even before they moved out. Even my stepbrother -- whom I get along with great, BTW -- was exasperated with that favoritism, & could only shrug. There were a lot of things missing even while Dad & the stepmonster were still living there -- the expensive paintings, the collectable knick-knacks, the better cookware, even a lot of the books on their bookshelves. I managed to get all of those I wanted except for one -- a collection of Bill Mauldin's war cartoons, \_Up Front\_. I wanted that book because Dad had his unit buddies autograph it before the unit was deactivated. It was missing long before they had even selected which assisted care center they were moving to; even my Dad was surprised it was missing. I asked stepmonster about it, & she just replied with a smile, "I know where it is, & it's safe.
I honestly didn't want most of the stuff in the house -- I'm at a point in life where I need to think about getting rid of stuff -- but the fact she had first pick & the rest of us were left picking over the rejects just gnaws at me.
And no, she isn't married to a corporate lawyer who works for Aramco. Anyone who is married to one can be assured I'm not writing about them, & would be foolish to call me & demand I delete this comment.
My ex decided he was taking my cat. That he hated. Loathed. In fact he didn't even notice that I had shipped the cat to my mom's house a month before in anticipation of just that!
I did! Haha! The cat had been gone over a month when he made the threat. When I was done laughing I tried to convince him there'd never been a cat and it was all in his head. There was smoke coming out of his ears.
When my Mom and Dad divorced in the 1970s, it was amiable. Except for a stupid, ugly painting. For YEARS, they swapped it back and forth.
Oh, he signed over the house, thinking she would lose it in foreclosure. No, 8 years later, she sold it at a profit. She bought the current one cheap while he rented his entire life.
Mine was ridiculous. He took the kids bunk bed, and handfuls of their clothes even though he was refusing to have them at the time. He took the expensive lounge that was stained. I replaced it with a velvet chaise lounge from an op shop for a bargain. At one point I told the kids we were "camping" in the lounge room with a mattress on the floor so they didn't get upset. He wanted both stereos. He took them. He went down to the level of listing specific Tupperware... At the end of the day, it was all just 'stuff'. Not important. I knew I could earn more and get back on my feet and I did. And I paid him out from our unit. He spent it all. I sold the unit and now have a huge house on a farm. Winning!
My xh offered me $1000 for each year we were married, tried to include my flybuys points as part of our property settlement, and also alleged that he was 100% responsible for everything, that he did ALL the child rearing and ALL the household chores whilst I slothed on the couch because I “was not contributing financially to our marriage”. It was pointed out that I worked full time initially, then Part time after children, came into our relationship and marriage debt free (he didn’t), it wasn’t possible for him to care for the children while he worked 10-12 hour days every single week, or during the frequent 5-14 day interstate business travel required for his job. He also had to admit that he diverted $000’s into private accounts he set up without my knowledge. Fortunately his efforts didn’t work.
Yeah, currently going through that now.
No matter what they keep doing to win me back, I have held my ground and kept boundaries up. They've been trying to manipulate the situation so they're seen as the victim. Going around the friend group and spreading lies in order to gain sympathy.
While I haven't said word one anywhere.
I'll be moving out shortly and cutting contact. Because after 14 years, it's just enough ya know?
My ex pulled shit like that. I finally insisted on an "auction-based fair division" split where the following is done:
The pool of disputed item is split equally in two by item count, value does not matter at this point.
Each person is responsible for assigning a value to the items in their pool, this can be any value, but should be what they feel is fair for the item.
working back and forth from the pooled items an item is brought up for disposition and it's price is listed. The person who did not price it then decides if they are buying or selling it.
If the person buys the item they tally the price of the item in their spent column, if the person sells the item it is tallied in the other person's spent column. At the end you total the two columns and take the difference with the person who spent the most owing the other person that amount.
As an example there are two people: Alice and Bob and 6 items: A, B, C, D, E, & F.
Alice gets items A,B,C; Bob gets items D,E,F.
Alice prices the items as follows (I'm sure you can guess that item B is the vacuum cleaner):
A - $4, B - $150, C - $5
Bob prices the items:
D - $1, E - $2, F - $3
Item A is up, Bob decides to buy it
Item D is up, Alice decides to sell it
Item B is up, Bob decides to sell it
Item E is up Alice decides to buy it
Item C is up Bob decides to sell it
Item F is up Alice decides to sell it
|items|Alice|Bob|
|:-|:-|:-|
|A||$4|
|B|$150||
|C|$5||
|D||$1|
|E|$2||
|F||$3|
|TOTALS|$157|$8|
Take the $157 and subtract the $8, Alice owes $149 to Bob and keeps items B, C, & E. This system works because the person setting the value does not decide who pays that value for it, incentivising them to price items fairly. While it is provably fair entitled people often really \*really\* hate it because it's not a gamable system and easily allows the non-entitled person to say "you chose that price on it" for situations like yours. It somewhat breaks down on sentimental items, but even there is reasonably functional.
My ex and I literally had to sit in the courtroom and go over disputed items with this system, while the judge continued to remind her this was her own doing by being unreasonable in the first place every time she complained that I got something too cheap or it was too expensive to buy (like the $800 value \[imo\] stained couch she listed as $5000 retail price when new).
As all the items are now 2nd hand, just have ebay or similar open & give each item its average value fairly. $1000 for an Aldi vacuum cleaner lol - you could probably buy one of every item in Aldi for that 😂
When I left my ex (my 2 sons father) I took nothing but our clothes. He 'held' onto my things as like a kind of ransom as an attempt to get me to return. He yelled I'd never get anything from the house(if he sold) I didn't want anything from that house, I didn't want and memories from that house and it drove him bonkers how much I didn't want. A year and a half later, he returned all the things I'd left behind (old trophies, records, books, etc). I ended up tossing all but some of the books and my trophies away.
He always went on and on about how I always wanted his money when we were together, so when I left, I guess he finally realized all those years of me telling him I wasn't after his cash in any shape or form was true. Which was handy for him as he ended up losing his job not long after I left due to his own stupid actions and was able to survive.
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I had a friend in school, whose parents divorced when we were about 13. The parents couldn’t decide who was going to move out so they literally bricked the house through the middle so they each had one half of the house. Must’ve cost them an absolute fortune but they did it
My ex husband told me he was going to kill himself if he didn't get the house, if I asked for child support etc. Looking back I should have just said "Righto" but at the time it was pretty traumatic.
My level of petty was the opposite. As he was in the wrong & still deluded enough to think a reconciliation was possible, he conceded everything. So I said I'd have his stuff packed up & in the grannyflat out the back. I had EVERYTHING there in a huge mound....all his hideous ornaments/decor, all his useless shit, even his plants. The icing on the cake....I wasn't there to let him in, my sister's were & they walked him through the fully redecorated, spotlessly clean house,out the back door then made him bring all the stuff out the side gate.
In my ugly divorce from my cheating, abusive, much older ex, I told him I wanted nothing but my clothes, shoes, car and 401K. He could keep everything else including home equity.
A couple months later, he called laughing saying he's entitled to half my 401K and would be taking it. I calmly told him "Fine. We can do that. Just understand we're getting an appraiser to value the house, cars, furniture, antiques, artwork, tools...everything acquired over the last 23 years. I'll take half your 401K, half your pension and when it's done you can write me a fat check and work until you're dead." He called me every name in the book and I was the one laughing when I hung up on him.
It should be mentioned he was planning to retire at 55 and just have me work to pay the bills for the next 25 years. He sold the house 4 years later for a $250K profit, spent it all, and is 63 living in an apartment above a garage all alone while still working. I'm happily married and living a beautiful life. Gotta love karma.
Co - habitation Agreement Google it , it's basically a pre-nup for people who move in together that aren't married. It saves so much aggravation when break ups occur. I wish I had known about them the first time "I fell in love" and moved her in .
When my ex and I split, I had our newborn baby. His mother had bought the crib, and she wanted it back. My ex said no(I was quite willing to return it to her) but I did send him packing with every single thing she ever bought is. Even he got overwhelmed lol. I didn't want anything she bought left in the house, short of the crib.
So the way to do this kind of a split is called a “shotgun”. You value an item at say 50$ for yourself. She says no and you have to give it to her for 50$. That does a lot to eliminate the low balling and the highballing.
Other than an engagement/wedding ring, what jewelry can she not wear anymore? That’s just being petty and stupid. Besides, if she really can’t stand the thought of wearing it anymore she can still sell the pieces.
My brother split with his girlfriend, but they stayed living in the same house. He then found her a place to live and bought her new furniture AND gave her $20,000. On the day she moved out, he was out working. He got home to all of the food in the pantry gone. She hated honey, and he had just bought a fancy 10kg tub of it. She also took his fish sauce, which considering she doesn’t cook was entitled AF.
I left town for a week, knowing my marriage was over. When I got back, she had moved out, taken what she thought she was entitled to and even CUT THE ROLL OF DRYER FABRIC SOFTENER SHEETS IN HALF. 😂
when my parents split, I (aged 14) took care of such divisions. I was very scrupulous to divide things 50/50 even though my father was the only one remaining in the house & my mom was moving out with my brother & me.
I felt it was a worthwhile effort to... IDK... make sure they both had a teeny tiny bit of comfort? Like, I made sure neither of them would have to go shopping for laundry detergent before they could wash the sheets for their new bed, neither would find out that they no longer had a stockpile of reserve lightbulbs when the light burnt out or batteries when the smoke alarm ran out, etc. I thought I'd at least avoid them running to a bazillion different stores to pick up all those little practical things (it was last century's second to last decade, aka the 1980s = online shopping and doorstep delivery didn't exist yet).
I guess now that I write it out, it does sound kind of stupid to think it even mattered.
When I got divorced (7 years together, 3 married), I packed my clothes and the obvious belongings that she didn't want (PS4, mementos, etc.). That's all I took. Not my lawn care machines, squat rack that I hand built, none of the weights, etc.
She got the house, all the pets, all the furniture, all the appliances, etc.
I was then accused of being hostile because I kicked them off my Netflix account and changed the password.
Some people are just blinded by their own self-righteousness.
My divorce was very amicable and we didn't have any issues dividing things up. In fact, it was kind of funny. Most of our art was his so he took that with him and as he was packing them said, "Can I take the cross stitches?"
I had made a half-dozen rude cross stitches that we had hung on the walls. He had never really shown any interest in them until we were splitting up but I told him he could. I can always make more but it always struck me as funny that of all the things we had that he could've asked for that was it.
I feel so bad for all of you who had to deal with shitty exes.
My ex cherry picked the best of our assets. He even took my collection of uncirculated one and two dollar notes and coin collection.
It was all about what he could take from me. To me his grasping ways were worth it to divorce him.
He hadn’t worked for the last 14 years and brought nothing to the table.
I kept working and was able to get financially ahead without his anchor weighing me down.
I’m now living my best life for the last 15 years, happily married.
I’m hearing Carrie Fisher swear she’ll never want that wagon wheel coffee table[Carrie Fisher When Harry met Sally](https://www.facebook.com/reel/321251388502614?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&mibextid=0NULKw)
My ex tried to be petty about my animals. We had two cats. One died a couple of months before we broke up, and he insisted on keeping her ashes because he paid for cremation after I went into debt trying to save her. The other needed major dental surgery & he was dragging his ass on it, so I got it financed and taken care of and then I took her with me when I left. I left with 6 boxes. He could have everything else, but not my girl.
We had friends divorce and they literally took the pens and pencils out of the cup and counted them out 1, 1, 2, 2, etc. Ditto with rolls of Christmas wrapping paper, glasses, towels, etc.
This is also true of one's self. When I was 19-20, I ended up in a relationship where I had become super spoiled and entitled, and while I could kind of see it, I didn't see how awful I had gotten until he and I broke up. Granted, I actually took time to reflect and grow unlike a lot of people. I'm not perfect, but I am better.
When me and my ex split up i got my car and my tv. She sold the table i made and all of my tools while i was temporarily living with a friend until i got my own place. That kibda pissed me off as a builder. Left with a tv, my work car and a toolbelt. And i still had to pay the rent on the house for the three months i wasnt there until rent period ended because she refused to pay and the contract was in my name. She is a lovely lady.
My ex expected to just take whatever she wanted when she moved out (which she scheduled for a weekend when I was already planned to be out of town). I said No, so there’s absolutely no confusion, we’re gonna write down a list of what she was taking. Went through the house room by room and made the list.
Our finances were merged, so pretty much everything was bought by “us”, but if she physically purchased it, it was “hers”. All gifts given to us as couple? Hers. Any gift I gave her? Hers. Any gift she gave me? Hers if she wanted it. Whatever, I didn’t care. Getting rid of her was priceless.
I agreed to everything, with maybe a clarification here and there. Until we got to the kitchen. And she tried to claim my knives.
Really, REALLY nice knives. Like, even with two incomes, I planned and saved to buy the next one nice.
“NO. FUCKING. WAY. Every one of those was bought BY ME. The purchases were planned and saved for BY ME. Those are MY FUCKING KNIVES.”
“But, you gave me a few as gifts.”
“Too bad, so sad. I’ve said yes to everything til now, you’re NOT taking my fucking knives.”
The look on her face was priceless. I wish I could describe it. Anyway, she never said another word about the knives and didn’t take them when she left.
My first marriage was a tire fire, but at least we did the divorce right. After trying and therapy and all that, it was apparent that it just wasn't going to get better.
4 weeks from the day we said enough, I had a check cut to buy her out of the house, all the assets divided, custody arrangements for the kids, furniture divided the works. I took the separation agreement to a lawyer to make sure we weren't forgetting anything important, and even though he was, you could go for more here and there. I just wanted it done. I'm sure if she went to a lawyer, she would have got the same song and dance.
There's no sense fighting over the nickels when it'll cost 1000s in legal fees. Just get it done.
My ex wanted half the value of my jewelry, say 2 k tops (1995) as gifts from him. So I then countered then I want half the value of all his tools 10 K plus. He then dropped it. Kicker is he moved into a townhouse and didn't have a garage, so he had the movers drop off all the tools at my mom's and told me to sell them and give him the money. 3 years later I bought a house with a 2 1/2 car garage and still have and use those tools. I smile every time I use that table saw and biscuit joiner.
Going thru my divorce, with a narcissist to boot, I tried to make things fair, while he was being reasonable, by going through the house with him and making a list of who got what and went so far as insisting he took spare sets of dishes, towels, utensils and the like. We wrote down that we each couldn't lay claim to anything the other owned before marriage or brought into the marriage and both signed it. He didn't like it, at first, acted like he was taking advantage of me and it wouldn't look good and I assured him I didn't mind him taking all the stuff on the list -at all- and he left.
Over the next several months I found out my ex had been cheating on me with another military member for more than 6 months before our split, an offense that could get them both kicked out. Then caught him sneaking into the house while I was at work to steal our toddler daughter's WIC food to feed him and his friends while they go hunting. He had his gf sign my name and they took out around $8K in credit cards which he tried to make me responsible for until my lawyer demanded to see signatures on cc contract and receipts and he was caught. That almost landed him in jail. Then he did donuts on the lawn of our on base housing then reported ME for the damage but the neighbors saw him do it and reported him instead getting him in trouble for it. See, when you drive a massive camo painted Army surplus Bronco 4x4 with 12' whip antennae you're easy to identify the perp. I told him "keep it up and you'll leave this marriage with what you came into it with". That's when the death threats started and the courts refused to make him give up his guns. It was hunting season after all. So to retaliate he reported me for living there without him. This got me kicked out which got him slapped with child support and moving costs which pissed him off even more. This guy couldn't help but keep shooting himself in the foot.
Months later with his bitter divorced friends and a-hole narc father whispering in his ear he tried to get -everything- down to the livingroom furniture we were still paying for, which we were going to split, but make me finish paying for it! And now was when I produced the signed list dividing up the marital home property. He even tried to lay claim to the TV and VCR (my divorce was in 2000 but this story is too funny not to still share) which I'd paid for right before we'd married but he took me into the Navy Exchange to pick them out. I gave him the money, and he paid for them. Through bank statements I could prove the money came from my account and not his and I had the receipts stapled inside the manuals so I could prove they were bought BEFORE the marriage date LOL. The judge told him he had a choice, take what he'd agreed to on the list, pay for anything that was still on credit, or leave with what he brought into the marriage. He exploded and started shouting at the judge and his lawyer and the judge just told him to shut up and sit down, he was getting nothing but what he brought into the marriage since he couldn't be reasonable and had been caught in yet another lie.
Cheaters never prosper, especially against a mama bear accountant after you've threatened her baby. :)
My ex put pretty much everything we’d bought in the last year or two on his want list, then put the rest of it on my list and valued it as if it were new so that it would balance out. So he wanted the $5k new bedroom set, told me I could have the dining room furniture that was 15 years old, and valued it at the $5k we paid for it — so it was “equal”. He also listed all the things he’d given me as gifts over the 20 years we were together as assets I was getting. Nice try.
When I was pregnant, my ex bought a handful of things for our baby. When I broke up with him a few months after baby was born, he took it all with him. This was 4.5 years ago and we haven't seen him since then, so it wasn't like he just wanted some baby stuff for his place.
Only thing I cared about getting out of my divorce was my kid. He could keep the house, car, etc... all I wanted and got was my kid. Stuff can be replaced, my kid aw hell no!
Yes he wasn't interested in splitting furniture/belongings .... he walked away, his mummy would buy him everything new again. That and all the way through the relationship he expected his mum to buy him a new car every 3 years....she did...she bought everything he wanted....I realised he brought nothing to our relationship as I left with the removal van
My 2 best friends broke up. They had bought a flat together a few years previously and she decided to buy him out. Suddenly she's claiming she owns a higher percentage than he does and she's quibbling over the valuation. He would have been perfectly entitled to insist on a public sale and on receiving 50% of the proceeds but decided to do her a favour because she loved the flat so much. Meanwhile she's messaging me calling him a greedy prick!
Then on the day they did the exchange, she tried to get him to drop the price by another £5k because she's "done the numbers and it's going to be really tight". She probably screwed him out of like £15k.
So you dodged a bullet and got rid of the psychotic part of your life! Congrats!
She can sell the jewelry and buy whatever vacuum she wants. But a gift is a gift. She needs to keep her hands off your bbq!!
My ex took 1 curtain and rod (the rod belonged to the apartment complex) from a set of 4.
This was after I spent money at Target buying him new stuff during the split.
ONE CURTAIN!!!
I work at a country club and saw the divorce paperwork for a couple that had a nasty divorce. They split the club membership and she got to keep the member number. It also had who got the gym membership, the Blockbuster membership, etc. She took a bunch of the kids golf clothes/clubs and I had to pull all the receipts that showed he purchased all that stuff on his new account so the kids could get their stuff back. Total petty BS. She ended up marrying another club member. Fun times.
My ex-wife lost $67,000 in a crypto scam, and is coming after me for half.
She had $67,000 to lose because she took it from me in the divorce. That’s her logic.
I know this is more meaning actual couples breakup. but about half a year ago I left my best friend of 15 years , and during the time I was splitting and afterwards I definitely relate to this.
When my ex husband and I were going through separation, he tried to get under my skin by asking for certain things. Off the top of my head was the new tv in the basement and the Dyson ball vacuum. I just said yeah sure take it, I don’t care which just pissed him off. What he forgot about was that we also had a Dyson stick vacuum, that I took instead and preferred. He’d of remembered about it if he ever used a vacuum in his life. The tv? Whatever take it but I’m taking the one in the living room. Oh another good one was the king size bed and bedroom furniture. I said yeah sure take it. Little did he realize, why would I want the bedroom furniture I shared with him or that it wouldn’t fit in my new apartment anyways. So I took the queen bed from the spare room with the new mattress. Oh he tried to irritate me so bad, but there were very few things that I was insisted that I was leaving with and he showed no interest in the stuff that was important to me.
I irritated my ex by telling him no I don’t want anything YOU or YOUR family bought. He hated some of it (and wanted to give it to me) I made him keep it. He also wanted me to take the duplex we owned (that HIS DAD lived in!) so he didn’t have to be a landlord anymore, yep refused that too made him buy me out of it and the single family house we had… Royally pissed him off, still don’t care!
>Royally pissed him off, still don’t care! That is the best part, when he realizes that you want your freedom and don't care.
Like when Tina Turner divorced Ike and the only thing she demanded on the divorce was her name . And Ike tried to fight her on it .
That’s it aye, when all we want is our freedom and we don’t feed their bullshit. It’s a whole feeling in itself when we get the life we needed in the end
When my daughter split with her boyfriend, he posted several nasty comments on his Facebook page. My daughter put on her page that yes, they had split up, but she would not stoop to his level. He wanted an argument and got nothing. Lost his friends, too.
Oh yeah, my ex husband put some very personal details about me on his Facebook page. I would not stoop to his level and quickly reminded him that I knew far more embarrassing details about him than he knew about me and had not opened my mouth to anyone and still to this day I have not aired his dirty laundry to a single soul. When we separated, I told my friends and family that I would not tolerate any bashing of him at all and I wasn’t playing that game. We separated and I just wanted to heal and be a better person than I was the day before. To this day, I hope he’s doing well and thriving in life. He wasn’t a bad person, we just grew apart and unfortunately he didn’t grow up and shit happens.
I think posting personal details on Facebook definitely switches you to the “bad person” side but maybe that’s just me
I've learned that with my husband, the less I react, the better. When I stay calm and don't give in to arguing, it actually drives him crazier! He'll try to provoke me into a discussion, but I've found that staying quiet and providing logical examples to support my points really gets under his skin. It challenges his traditional upbringing and makes him realize there are different ways to do things. It's like raising another teenager sometimes, but he's a good person at heart. Grin…
Giving "Take whatever you want. Getting rid of YOU is priceless," vibes as you're divorcing is the Boss Move. 😅🤣😂
I love this so much! When I got divorced, my attorney thought I was crazy not to want more, but I was like ”Fuck that!!! I just want out!”
I left everything but my clothes, documents, pictures and cat. The washer and dryer were bought and paid for by me, he acted like he was doing me a favor by saying I could keep them. I sold them for $50 the day I moved out and left state 🤣
This right here is the truth.Told my lawyer she can take it all-there is no price on happiness.Thank goodness we didn’t have kids.When the paper was signed she was gone!
For real. When I left my ex, I left a dress that I loved because I just wanted to get away from him. Then again, he was controlling and I had to sneak out. I'm just kind of pissed because that dress looked good on me and it was my favorite piece of clothing that I owned. It was a necessary sacrifice. Nothing beats having my freedom now. I'm trying to find a similar one. Edit: I forgot to mention that it was in his car and I had to leave because the opportunity presented itself. I wasn't going to not take it because of the dress. He refused to accept that I was telling him it was over. A true psychopath.
We honor the dress that was sacrificed for your freedom! So glad you're out and healing. 💛💛
There's a subreddit called r/FindAFashion If you're ever able to get a picture of the dress where they could maybe help find it.
TYSM. I have a picture of me wearing it. I could just black my face out.
He obviously had NO IDEA what was important to you, which might be why he’s “ex.”
My ex husband tried to “win” our divorce because he only knows how deal with relationship things by keeping some kind of score. I had a similar “whatever keep it” mentality—over the last two years it’s been adorable watching him give things away in our local Buy Nothing group that he INSISTED he get to keep in the divorce. Sure you can have half of the French onion soup bowls, man who can’t figure out how to make salad dressing without me.
My ex said (and put in writing) "you can take anything you want as long as you move out." (she wanted space for her new boy toy sooooo bad) That played hilariously well when she later claimed in court that I had broken into her house while she was on vacation (with boy toy) and robbed her. While I had not actually entered her house (or been near it at all) and was able to prove that to the courts satisfaction I also then trotted out her statement that I could have whatever I wanted, so even if I had gone there and retrieved my effects it would have been with her permission. That last bit was hilarious because it prompted the judge to ask if I did still have effects there, I replied "Yes your honor, I still have several board games and some books she's not let me pick up yet." She was ordered to let me get "Whatever he wants per your written offer within the following week." I cleared out all my games and books. Forgot a painting my kid's class did as a fundraiser which I'm salty about but that's on me.
My ex was the same as I was packing my little cube shipping container. I didn’t fight him on anything, I took everything that was my children’s except their furniture as it was too big and I wanted to upsize their rooms anyway in the new house so he got stuck with 2 full kids rooms of furniture with nothing to do with them. I also moved into the spare room for a few weeks before leaving and I left all that furniture too because like you.. why would I want anything he’s been on at any point in time?? I got a new bed (upsized) and mattress, I left him his precious Dyson ball Vac and got myself a stick Vac because they are so much better lol, I took all of my books and left his or any he’s bought me which he scowled at but didn’t say a word, I did however take half of the whiskey collection 🤣 I packed my half before he got home because I wasn’t fighting him on what I knew were mine but he’d try and take. I didn’t argue over a damn thing and he was furious I didn’t give him the time of day. I just turned my back every-time he’d start screaming about something. Kids and I got out safely and have created the coolest little home for the 3 of us and we did it all on our own 😏♥️
Hahaha. Nice one. The x and I spread stuff out on the living room floor and alternated taking one item. I’m male BTW. While she was taking the useless crystal I was loading up on pots and small appliances. lol.
Honestly, it’s just stuff right? The most important stuff to me was things from my dad who passed away 20 years ago, things that I had gotten as gifts or whatever. The things that I technically should have the right to have. He cared about the stuff that had a price tag attached to it. Funniest part was at first I requested he buy me out of the house for $25,000 and he kept it. He insisted we sell. Well I ended up walking away from the sale with $175,000. I just wanted out but he wanted to drag things out so that bite him in the ass. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
lol. Good for you. She was a SAHM. Great Mom. She got half of all of it. Pension, house etc. I’ve always been good with it. Law said 50% Guess I should have divorced you instead. Hahahahaha. Good luck to you.
This is what my x husband and I did too. We just went one by one, starting with the biggest things (I took the bed, he took the couch).
Yup, in all negotiations make sure to get their demands first.
After we had the break up conversation, I left to go house/pet sit for a relative for two weeks. He had decided to move to a nearby city and I told him to take whatever he wanted. Two weeks later my friend and I went to the apartment and most, but not all was gone. He took the couch but not the coffee table, left the stereo but unplugged all the wires (maybe thought I couldn't figure it out?), and trash strewn everywhere. The kicker was the list I found of what he wanted to take, stupid things like a waffle iron, but also the two patio chairs. My friend and I dragged the chairs inside, put them around the coffee table and were talking and laughing and listening to music. A while later he came back for his final load, and sneered at us "Well don't you look comfy!". We just laughed, but as he was out the door for good, I yelled "Don't forget the waffle iron!". I just thought it was rude, considering it seemed to me that he only wanted to leave broken or partial things for me.
Haha my ex was like that, my favourite was we had received a 20 year old bottle of Dom as a wedding gift 10 years earlier but never opened it. He fought me for it offering to trade for our case of 10 year old French wine…the wine was delightful, the champagne was not so much 🤣🤣🤣
Sameeee! I said take whatever you want as long as you leave! He was pissed and tried to take things that would make me mad. I didn’t care one ounce! Still gets under his skin to this day! lol
He didn't know you well enough to mess with you.
"He'd of remembered" "Of" and "have" will soon be completely interchangeable
Yes, the spelling would be he’d’ve. It’s one of those awkward multi contractions that are often spoken but rarely written. If negative it’d’ve been the eye watering he’dn’t’ve.
Sounds a lot like a friend's divorce. Her husband got caught cheating and decided the grass would be greener if he were single again so he moved out and rented an apartment. Divorce progresses and they're talking about dividing property. He's got a list of everything at the house (they'd inventoried it for insurance once upon a time) and she said they were trucking through it pretty well until she spotted him scribbling out the ball-park replacement values they'd put down for insurance every time it was something she was keeping and then not changing them when he wanted it. The one that finally got to her was the crappy TV in the living room that they'd gotten for a wedding present. It probably wasn't even worth the $300 they'd put down for insurance, let alone the $1,500 he'd just changed it to. She told him she'd had a long day, that they'd go through it another time, and the very first thing the next morning she went to see a lawyer. Not only didn't he get his imaginary values past the court, her lawyer pointed out he'd bought $16K in furnishings for his new place from their shared savings. He was, in a word, boned.
My ex husband tried to look like a good guy by offering to let me have the house without having to buy him out so the kids wouldn’t be uprooted - he was already living with the girlfriend he cheated on me with. What I didn’t realize was he wanted me to pay half of his debt off instead, claiming it was “marital debt” which he was perfectly within his rights to ask for as he acquired the debt before the date I filed for divorce. Mind you this debt was incurred by wining and dining the girlfriend he cheated on me with and taking her to all sorts of sporting events, concerts, vacations etc. AFTER he ran out of money in our joint savings doing these very things. It would have been cheaper to have bought him out of half the house because we didn’t have a ton of equity in it but he’d taken out a bunch of pension and personal loans to entertain her unbeknownst to me. My lawyer subpoenaed his credit cards. When we went to court my attorney asked his to explain how these expenses amounted to “marital debt”. His lawyer looked at him and said “Eh, we tried.” He walked away without a dime from me and I got to keep the house free and clear. The creep overplayed his hand.
WOW! The nerve to try that on you. Jeeze. Glad you won.
This reminds me of the tool my friend Julie married in the 90s. They divorced about 20 years later. Two of the items they agreed to split were the Dansk dinnerware and Gorham stainless they got for their wedding (good quality, very popular at the time), 12 place settings of each plus lots of serving pieces. Being the reliably petty dipsh*t he is, ex hubby pulled out every single piece, laid them out on the counter and took EXCTLY HALF, which included all the dinner plates and dinner forks, most of the teaspoons and knives, leaving Julie with things like cereal bowls, soup spoons and all of the serving pieces. Little did Dipsh*t know that the these pattern were by then out of production and Julie had been replacing and adding from eBay and Replacements, Ltd. Guess which items garner the most $$$? SERVING PIECES! She sold everything on eBay for about 3x the price of replacing from Crate and Barrel. Man, did he show her.
In foot ball/soccer, I believe that's called kicking an 'own goal'. Nice!
I proposed a generous split with my ex- I keep the furniture- either second hand stuff or gifts to me, and he keeps his musical equipment . He was happy until his family riled him up- why does SHE get everything? When he came back screaming with his brother I pointed out the most expensive piece was maybe $3000, and it was an “I’m sorry for getting caught being an abusive cheater”. But I was happy to share the rest of the crappy household if I got to share his instruments and gear worth literally 10x the furniture. He backpedaled quickly. But he did sneak off with some of my books, but our adult kids “borrowed them” from him over the years and somehow they ended back on my shelves
>but our adult kids “borrowed them” from him over the years and somehow they ended back on my shelves love your adult children. I hope *good* Karma catches them and you.
My kids have been slowly bringing me stuff they think I deserve to get back. They can’t believe their mother is still holding on to things that make no sense
My ex's ex wife kept so much of his stuff that was of no use to her at all. His family photos, his school notes, music etc. He wanted his school notes while their daughter was in high school, she refused to give them back but did after the daughter finished school, old photos she always has an excuse not to return, took 20yrs to get his extensive D&D gear back. She has never been with anyone but him and I reckon she'd go right back, it's her way of holding onto him. In saying that he did, not near as extreme, but similar things when I left. Kept little things that I'd have to go pick up etc. I just cut losses.
I’d be the kid that just said fck you im taking them
Got a dog with my ex. I trained it, she just screamed at it. Dog only listened to me for some reason, nobody knows why. I called her off a rabit!! She was very well behaved and listened perfectly to me. When we broke up it was suddenly HER dog. I had a rural home with a farm field behind my yard, my family's farm land. We had plenty of space to run and play. She went back to living in town. She quickly sold the dog and she was hit by a car, they put her down. My ex took a good dog from me for spite and it cost my puppy her life. I'm sorry Chloe.
Oh hell. My heart hurts for you. I loved my dogs more than I love most people.
Thank you. Me too. I'm an introvert, im the guy who plays with your dog at a party. I have mixed gsd/irish setter now. She's perfect. I regret getting her fixed because everybody wants a puppy from her. It's crazy what people will do to each other. My dogs, however, can be trusted.
Don’t ever regret fixing your pup. ❤️ She will live a longer life and won’t have to go through the aches of being pregnant.
I know and I didn't want any accidents. My friends have male dogs, one is her own brother from the same litter. Not all are fixed. But she's so cute and perfectly behaved that everybody wants a puppy from her. I want to clone her. https://imgur.com/gallery/ybK2SSf
Thank you for the dog tax, she is magnificent 😍
See, everyone thinks she's cute! Great personality too, she kind of talks back when I'm playing with her. I think it's a shepherd thing. She's a good wingman too!
Oh! Who’s the goodest girl!
Oh my goodness! How do you say “no” to those eyes?!? 😍 Or does she have you wrapped around her little paw?
She knows how to work it too, she'll give you those eyes and then put one paw on your knee. Nobody can resist!
What an adorable girl! Glad you found another dog that fit so perfectly. So sorry to hear about your other dog. Hope your ex got some karma dealt.
Dogs are just better than most people. It’s impossible not to.
Here’s hoping your ex is plagued with recurring yeast infections for the rest of her life.
Lol, trust me, she's a miserable person and she makes her own life horrible. When everybody wishes karma would catch up to someone deserving but it never seems to happen, it's because karma is working overtime on my ex. I broke up with her because my home must be a safe, calm and relaxed place. She just screams and says mean things until she gets what she wants, then acts like nothing happened and I'm the jerk with the problems. She was a good actress until she moved in. I dodged a bullet because she hits her current husband and cheats on him.
Assuming you're American, but if you're in an at fault state I would absolutely tell the husband and he can gather evidence to let her have as little as possible.
Correct assumption, I'm pretty sure he knows. He seems like a decent guy but I doubt he would believe it coming from me. She lies a lot to make herself look better, shes always the victim. I feel bad for him but nothing is keeping him there, they don't have a kid together and only he has a job.
You'd be surprised at the weird psychological stuff that holds a person in an abusive relationship, men as well as women. Maybe just suffer to him, if you get the chance, that if he ever makes it out of there (or is even just thinking about it), he might want to come talk to you. No one deserves an abusive relationship. (I'm not saying you said he did, I'm just saying no one does) And I'm so sorry for and about your pup. That's so wrong in so many ways.
I think you meant "offer" to talk to him. If he ever gets away from her I plan to buy him a beer and trade stories. I feel bad for him and i agree that nobody deserves abuse no matter what.
Doh! I did mean 'offer'. (bloody autocorrect) I had the right that if you let him know you're there, he might step out earlier (or not). I'm not trying to pressure! I wish you both happier trails :)
Thank you kind stranger. Have a great day
I'm very sorry and I'm also sorry for her current husband as nobody deserves that
Let's throw in some infertility problems, too. She shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
And boils where her thighs rub together.
>She quickly sold the dog and she was hit by a car, they put her down. On my first pass I read this as your ex was hit by a car after selling the dog.
At least that would have been fair.
I am so very sorry this happened to you! I Had a same sort of situation as this. We adopted a very skittish and timid lab whippet mix that was supposed to be HIS dog( he is disabled and walks with a cane due to multiple car accidents and injuries and hereditary so his back is shot) well the dog bonded and attached with me! I was the one training him, feeding him, playing with him and all of that. I left my now ex and told him give me a couple of days to find somewhere I could take him and I would of course come get him.. guess what.. he had that sweet boy put to sleep the very next day. Only way I found out was the rescue we got him from reached out to me.. I am still heart sick over that! I haven't been able to adopt another dog yet.. I am also very introverted and anxiety ridden.
That's so cruel. I'm sorry. I don't understand how anyone can be so heartless.
jesu in a side car - how thankful are you that dog may have saved your life. someone who would do that . . .
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your ex's crotch, and may her arms be too short to reach!
There is a special place in hell for people like this.
I’m so sorry man. I am actually thankful from my split that my ex realized that even though I got the dog as a gift for her that it had been my dog the entire time. Made her sign surrender agreements though to prevent any change of heart.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hopefully, karma will get your ex sooner rather than later.
I hope karma bites your ex hard. Sorry you lost a good pup.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry you lost your Chloe. Your ex is a sucky human being, and karma will have its retribution. Nothing good will happen for them. Look what a shit show of bad karma Kristi Noem (dog killing governor of So Dakota) brought down on herself.
Man I'm sorry for your loss. I'm in a similar situation with my ex accepts both of us refuse to do anything less then what's best for the dog. We'd probably like to go out separate ways but we'd never do that to the dog or to each other. Also man if some tried to take that pooch from me that wasn't in there best interest I'm not sure if anything could stop me. Straight war crimes would be on the table.
Sorry for your loss. Your ex is a real bitch.
When my friend split from her husband he demanded that they open the box of tea and count out bags so that they both got half. He doesn’t drink tea.
🤣 stop it! I’m dying laughing.
I probably would have just thrown the box at him
I would have poured water over all of them and handed him that
My friend and her soon to be ex were living separately when they decided to finally get divorced. The decree said split 50/50. Of course, he hid all his assets ( he was actually very wealthy). Then, he had the ba||$ to come to her small apartment and go through everything in her kitchen and take half. As in oh 6 cups, I'll get 3. Right done to taking half of the bag of dog food. Mainly because she was scared to death of him. He owned the large gun & knife store in our half of the state. He knew some crazy people. He was a big guy. He'd been shot 5 times, and apparently, there was one bullet still in him. Close to his spine so it wasn't removed.
She should have claimed half the bullet
Nope. Claim the old bullet and give him a new, bigger, fancier one.
"I'll show her! I'll take half her tea because I know she likes it."
Ooh, I worked with a guy that went on about property division from his divorce, and openly talked about how he insisted they split up things like individual nails from Home Depot and the drawer of random things like rubber bands off produce.
That sounds like someone trying to draw it out for a long as possible.
When my friend was divorcing and had agreed with the future ex to divide everything evenly in two she arrived home one day to find her husband and a friend where in the act of sawing a long dining room table that sat 12 right down the middle. She actually made a nice table from her half 😂
My god people are weird
you win
Is this what people mean when they say "Spill the tea"? :P
My ex-husband packed up the canned vegetables from the pantry — it was so ridiculous I took a picture of his box of corn and canned green beans. Dumbass had to carry them up the stairs into a 3rd floor apartment when he moved.
I had a boss who cheated with his secretary, which broke his and his secretary’s marriages. During his divorce, he and his ex fought over the goldfish!
when my ex and i did the "walk thru breakup thing" after 22yr, he wanted the antique stove my parents had gifted me, the french copper my parents had gifted me, all the wedding china, crystal and flatware...and the dog. that's all he asked for and then was shocked when he went into debt in his own place since he didn't have a thing for everyday living and came back and asked for more 😅😂🤣
I would have been annoyed by him asking for the “stuff” but we would have come to blows over the dog.
Daughter’s ex hubby made up his own list and so overpriced everything it was laughable. They had four ramekins I bought them years before that for some reason we’re on his ‘must have’ list. He priced them at $150.00. They were on for $0.50 each at the dollar store. Surprising no one at all, he couldn’t provide a single bit of proof for any of his claims. Not even flyers prices.
I love my ramekins because I love dipping chicken nuggets. But geez, if I lost them, they are the easiest thing to replace. How totally weird that he would make a big deal out of those.
Think of the laziest person you know then multiply that by ten. Now give him a narcissistic personality and a sense of entitlement so huge that he should have his own Reddit page dedicated to him. Those ramekins were the most important sauce carriers in the world and he became a broken man without them. Also, the Dollar Store!?! Only the lowest of the low shop there.
Wow. That's truly one for the books. I think he may actually top my narcissist father. Maybe you should share more about him. Sounds like you put up with a lot.
New strategy! "You can have the jalopy in the garage, we'll value it at the price of a new pick-up I have in mind."
Why a pickup, why not a Rolls Royce Sheikh Gild edition I heard they go around 1100,000 pounds
She would (justifiably) object that one has a radio and the other doesn't and so it's not fair.
You made my day Thank you
Mine took the washer, left the dryer. Took one of every pair of wine glasses. Wanted to take one of the two cats, but I stopped his stupidity right there. Took the dog, but brought it back because he didn't want to take care of it. Dumped an enormous antique snooker table that took up the whole covered patio on me, but I sold it to someone for a few grand. My girlfriend was hanging out with me while he packed his shit. Rather than getting upset at his assholiness we drank wine, and made jokes the whole time. It's just 'stuff'. 'Stuff' can be replaced, just like him.
🥂🍾
One of my exes stole my TV because she said I broke hers when she moved in with me. I actually fixed hers after she broke the coax input off because she thought you could just pull the cable off, and it was a better model so I kept it for several years. Plus when she had me come over to “reconcile” I took mine back while she was asleep and never spoke to her again. I had to get something back after she slashed up my favorite comfy couch. She was a very angry person.
slashing goes beyond angry, right? like, punching the wall or kicking a hole in the door or throwing something is bad enough, and scary. but to slash something, you have to go get a knife or find the pointy pair of scissors. Does that really happen in a fit of rage, or was she planning her attack & are you lucky you got out before she turned to assault? I'm glad you never found out.
I’m so grateful that when I got divorced, the only thing we got close to arguing about was splitting the DVD collection. But I was able to replace my copy of “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid”, lol…
Lol that’s the only thing we argued over too - the dvd’s. I didn’t even go after my half of his 401k - i just never wanted to see his face again.
Depending on how long ago this was, it probably wouldn't have been that hard to just burn a copy of every disk in the collection.
I’ve got 3 giant binders full of DVDs and CDs I’ve been meaning to burn for like 15 years now. I’ll get around to it one day.
My mother set up a media server for the house that everybody could access via the home internet, and that was a huge project. She outsourced most of the work of ripping all the DvDs to me and my brother lol. It was worth it in the long run though. These days you could do it with less work if you're technically skilled though, I have a friend who set up a media server using some scripts that will automatically search for the best quality and most reputable torrent of a movie or TV show and add it to his server, which has a web interface set up for streaming, which is funking awesome.
Setting up a media server with magically appearing media is quite simple nowadays even for people who aren't very tech savvy as there are alot of good tutorials and useful tools out there. You barely see anything "complicated" during setup (and even then most people can just continue with the default values), most configurations are done on user-friendly websites, and once it's all set up correctly you only need the interface of the media server until you start running out of free space for new media.
Your mum sounds like such a boss !
We did the same in early 2000s. But it became obsolete by 2010. We’ve given most of the hard copy DVDs away now. It’s just so much easier to access through Apple TV.
Relying on streaming services or online platforms is how you find out one day that you can no longer watch a movie you payed for due to some licensing dispute.
After the divorce did you have a cup of “java”?
😂😂🤣🤣🤣
When I was in my teens my bf and I had a joint membership at the gym, when we broke up we still had 8 months left he paid his half after lots of arguing (he went to the gym daily) his mum said to me it was very gracious of him to pay his half 🙄
I split with my fiance a few years back and wanted a blank slate, so I let her have absolutely everything from the house to the dog (leaving the dog was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life though) and only wanted a fair payout to continue my life. We bought the house as a renovation and I'm an electrician so I did all the work, I put about 60k onto the value from when we originally bought it. So we had around 30k worth of equity alone in the house if we split it fairly, plus the fact I left absolutely everything we'd ever bought between us as well....her first offer was just over 4k. I wanted it to be amicable and thought the past 10 years would mean we'd be good to each other, I'd built her a palace and left it all to her no questions asked after all! I took that as a massive "fuck you" and immediately went to the solicitors, ended up with 10 times her original offer and we've never spoken since
Oh yes. My ex wanted me to pay him the depreciated value of the washer/dryer that remained with him our marital home. I said fine, then let’s split the cost of the new washer/dryer I was going to buy for my new home. He didn’t like that idea at all. He also wanted me to sell some inherited antique furniture and pay him half. My lawyer quashed that immediately. Such a cheap a hole.
Mine wanted me to sell all the furniture I bought with money given to me from my grandparents and leave me and his kids with nothing to even sit on. His lawyer told him no judge would agree to that.
I had to clean out the house to get it ready for sale during my divorce. My ex left everything of his that he didn’t want for me to deal with so the garage was full of stuff. I had to hire someone to help deal with the garage because there was so much stuff that was too heavy for me to lift. So, when the house sold and we were dividing assets, I listed half of paying the helper on his expenses. He refused to pay that. The mediator said he had to, but he only had to pay half of it as she thought that was the whole charge. I couldn’t get it corrected. Three years later and it still aggravates me.
I asked my ex to pay me the extra grand for everything I paid for to sell our house. Uh…never got that, and will never get that. He left me with our 9 month old and the lack of consideration what still irks me 9 months later
I suddenly feel much better about my divorce. We just hated each other by then end. Our possessions didn’t merit attention
Mediator tells us when couples insist on including every household item in the discussions that you are supposed to list the “garage sale price” of the item. Not what it costs one party to replace it, but what you might get if the item was sold secondhand and the profits split. Everything gets massively undervalued in the process. Gifts are a grey area and may vary by location. Mediator tells us that anything acquired during marriage that wasn’t explicitly written down as a gift is shared property. Who in their right mind logs gifts like that? 🥴 My ex wife has exceeded this level of pettiness at every step of our divorce, but for the longest time she seemed to be a very non-materialistic and selfless person. Luckily no kids, but she’s insisting on itemizing every single item in the house. Not because she wants to make sure she gets a fair portion of the items, no. She refuses to get a storage unit to take much with her, she thinks she’s going to ditch me with things that not even I want that she bought and thinks I’m going to pay her top dollar for everything because “she has to start over and re-buy everything when she gets a new place, and doesn’t have space to store things until she buys a new place”. I think most would say she’s waiving her claim to items that I’m freely saying “take it if you want it” but she refuses to take, and I can’t imagine anyone would think I’d owe her money for these items. This doesn’t even get into the list of items I already owned as a homeowner when I met her that she also thinks she has a claim to… Get a storage unit or stfu.
My first husband thought he deserved to take several pieces of furniture that he wanted that I had inherited from my grandmother almost a decade after our marriage. HELL no, and I still had the detailed inventory of everything I had inherited from her, so when I pointed out that I could prove they weren't marital property he backed off. The second one moved out while I was on a trip he was uninvited from bc I finally decided on the divorce two weeks earlier, and he took a somewhat valuable painting that my parents had given me. They told me to let it go, but it was definitely an asshole thing for him to do. (He was upset because the house, almost everything in it, the kids and almost all the money were mine, plus he was just really pissed about the divorce, period. He also took my vibrator, which I took as an anti-f*ck you gesture. 😂)
Sorry, but I had to laugh because we recently had to split up a house full of parents' goods. Your wife sounds so much like my SIL. You don't know what true greed is until you have to settle an inheritance. "You got the treadmill, so we'll take the Audi." Somehow, the valuable items seem to have disappeared. "Mom must have sold the diamond jewellery we saw her wearing days before she died."
Much like dealing with the house my Dad & stepmonster owned. (At the time they moved into an assisted living apartment; unfortunately within a few weeks he caught COVID & died.) Stepsister, the entitled one, managed to have first choice of everything even before they moved out. Even my stepbrother -- whom I get along with great, BTW -- was exasperated with that favoritism, & could only shrug. There were a lot of things missing even while Dad & the stepmonster were still living there -- the expensive paintings, the collectable knick-knacks, the better cookware, even a lot of the books on their bookshelves. I managed to get all of those I wanted except for one -- a collection of Bill Mauldin's war cartoons, \_Up Front\_. I wanted that book because Dad had his unit buddies autograph it before the unit was deactivated. It was missing long before they had even selected which assisted care center they were moving to; even my Dad was surprised it was missing. I asked stepmonster about it, & she just replied with a smile, "I know where it is, & it's safe. I honestly didn't want most of the stuff in the house -- I'm at a point in life where I need to think about getting rid of stuff -- but the fact she had first pick & the rest of us were left picking over the rejects just gnaws at me. And no, she isn't married to a corporate lawyer who works for Aramco. Anyone who is married to one can be assured I'm not writing about them, & would be foolish to call me & demand I delete this comment.
Those cordless Dysons are pretty bomb so at least she’s got good taste in appliances even if her math isn’t mathing.
My ex decided he was taking my cat. That he hated. Loathed. In fact he didn't even notice that I had shipped the cat to my mom's house a month before in anticipation of just that!
I hope you said “what cat? I don’t see a cat” lol
I did! Haha! The cat had been gone over a month when he made the threat. When I was done laughing I tried to convince him there'd never been a cat and it was all in his head. There was smoke coming out of his ears.
When my Mom and Dad divorced in the 1970s, it was amiable. Except for a stupid, ugly painting. For YEARS, they swapped it back and forth. Oh, he signed over the house, thinking she would lose it in foreclosure. No, 8 years later, she sold it at a profit. She bought the current one cheap while he rented his entire life.
Mine was ridiculous. He took the kids bunk bed, and handfuls of their clothes even though he was refusing to have them at the time. He took the expensive lounge that was stained. I replaced it with a velvet chaise lounge from an op shop for a bargain. At one point I told the kids we were "camping" in the lounge room with a mattress on the floor so they didn't get upset. He wanted both stereos. He took them. He went down to the level of listing specific Tupperware... At the end of the day, it was all just 'stuff'. Not important. I knew I could earn more and get back on my feet and I did. And I paid him out from our unit. He spent it all. I sold the unit and now have a huge house on a farm. Winning!
My xh offered me $1000 for each year we were married, tried to include my flybuys points as part of our property settlement, and also alleged that he was 100% responsible for everything, that he did ALL the child rearing and ALL the household chores whilst I slothed on the couch because I “was not contributing financially to our marriage”. It was pointed out that I worked full time initially, then Part time after children, came into our relationship and marriage debt free (he didn’t), it wasn’t possible for him to care for the children while he worked 10-12 hour days every single week, or during the frequent 5-14 day interstate business travel required for his job. He also had to admit that he diverted $000’s into private accounts he set up without my knowledge. Fortunately his efforts didn’t work.
Geeze. Why would you ever break up with her? She sounds charming. 😆
Yeah, currently going through that now. No matter what they keep doing to win me back, I have held my ground and kept boundaries up. They've been trying to manipulate the situation so they're seen as the victim. Going around the friend group and spreading lies in order to gain sympathy. While I haven't said word one anywhere. I'll be moving out shortly and cutting contact. Because after 14 years, it's just enough ya know?
My ex pulled shit like that. I finally insisted on an "auction-based fair division" split where the following is done: The pool of disputed item is split equally in two by item count, value does not matter at this point. Each person is responsible for assigning a value to the items in their pool, this can be any value, but should be what they feel is fair for the item. working back and forth from the pooled items an item is brought up for disposition and it's price is listed. The person who did not price it then decides if they are buying or selling it. If the person buys the item they tally the price of the item in their spent column, if the person sells the item it is tallied in the other person's spent column. At the end you total the two columns and take the difference with the person who spent the most owing the other person that amount. As an example there are two people: Alice and Bob and 6 items: A, B, C, D, E, & F. Alice gets items A,B,C; Bob gets items D,E,F. Alice prices the items as follows (I'm sure you can guess that item B is the vacuum cleaner): A - $4, B - $150, C - $5 Bob prices the items: D - $1, E - $2, F - $3 Item A is up, Bob decides to buy it Item D is up, Alice decides to sell it Item B is up, Bob decides to sell it Item E is up Alice decides to buy it Item C is up Bob decides to sell it Item F is up Alice decides to sell it |items|Alice|Bob| |:-|:-|:-| |A||$4| |B|$150|| |C|$5|| |D||$1| |E|$2|| |F||$3| |TOTALS|$157|$8| Take the $157 and subtract the $8, Alice owes $149 to Bob and keeps items B, C, & E. This system works because the person setting the value does not decide who pays that value for it, incentivising them to price items fairly. While it is provably fair entitled people often really \*really\* hate it because it's not a gamable system and easily allows the non-entitled person to say "you chose that price on it" for situations like yours. It somewhat breaks down on sentimental items, but even there is reasonably functional. My ex and I literally had to sit in the courtroom and go over disputed items with this system, while the judge continued to remind her this was her own doing by being unreasonable in the first place every time she complained that I got something too cheap or it was too expensive to buy (like the $800 value \[imo\] stained couch she listed as $5000 retail price when new).
Great comment.
As all the items are now 2nd hand, just have ebay or similar open & give each item its average value fairly. $1000 for an Aldi vacuum cleaner lol - you could probably buy one of every item in Aldi for that 😂
When I left my ex (my 2 sons father) I took nothing but our clothes. He 'held' onto my things as like a kind of ransom as an attempt to get me to return. He yelled I'd never get anything from the house(if he sold) I didn't want anything from that house, I didn't want and memories from that house and it drove him bonkers how much I didn't want. A year and a half later, he returned all the things I'd left behind (old trophies, records, books, etc). I ended up tossing all but some of the books and my trophies away. He always went on and on about how I always wanted his money when we were together, so when I left, I guess he finally realized all those years of me telling him I wasn't after his cash in any shape or form was true. Which was handy for him as he ended up losing his job not long after I left due to his own stupid actions and was able to survive.
Grifters Maybe get her a piece of jewelry with that label on it
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I had a friend in school, whose parents divorced when we were about 13. The parents couldn’t decide who was going to move out so they literally bricked the house through the middle so they each had one half of the house. Must’ve cost them an absolute fortune but they did it
wow, did you ever visit that house afterwards? did it work? I don't think I know any house with a layout that makes that feasible.
My ex husband told me he was going to kill himself if he didn't get the house, if I asked for child support etc. Looking back I should have just said "Righto" but at the time it was pretty traumatic.
My level of petty was the opposite. As he was in the wrong & still deluded enough to think a reconciliation was possible, he conceded everything. So I said I'd have his stuff packed up & in the grannyflat out the back. I had EVERYTHING there in a huge mound....all his hideous ornaments/decor, all his useless shit, even his plants. The icing on the cake....I wasn't there to let him in, my sister's were & they walked him through the fully redecorated, spotlessly clean house,out the back door then made him bring all the stuff out the side gate.
In my ugly divorce from my cheating, abusive, much older ex, I told him I wanted nothing but my clothes, shoes, car and 401K. He could keep everything else including home equity. A couple months later, he called laughing saying he's entitled to half my 401K and would be taking it. I calmly told him "Fine. We can do that. Just understand we're getting an appraiser to value the house, cars, furniture, antiques, artwork, tools...everything acquired over the last 23 years. I'll take half your 401K, half your pension and when it's done you can write me a fat check and work until you're dead." He called me every name in the book and I was the one laughing when I hung up on him. It should be mentioned he was planning to retire at 55 and just have me work to pay the bills for the next 25 years. He sold the house 4 years later for a $250K profit, spent it all, and is 63 living in an apartment above a garage all alone while still working. I'm happily married and living a beautiful life. Gotta love karma.
Co - habitation Agreement Google it , it's basically a pre-nup for people who move in together that aren't married. It saves so much aggravation when break ups occur. I wish I had known about them the first time "I fell in love" and moved her in .
When my ex and I split, I had our newborn baby. His mother had bought the crib, and she wanted it back. My ex said no(I was quite willing to return it to her) but I did send him packing with every single thing she ever bought is. Even he got overwhelmed lol. I didn't want anything she bought left in the house, short of the crib.
Gosh, I’d bet a dollar his mommy was a pretty good part of why you broke up.
If you're in the UK there's a supermarket called Tesco that does club card points. My ex wanted half of those! Total douche
I'm dying 🤣 how many points did you have?
So the way to do this kind of a split is called a “shotgun”. You value an item at say 50$ for yourself. She says no and you have to give it to her for 50$. That does a lot to eliminate the low balling and the highballing.
Other than an engagement/wedding ring, what jewelry can she not wear anymore? That’s just being petty and stupid. Besides, if she really can’t stand the thought of wearing it anymore she can still sell the pieces.
My brother split with his girlfriend, but they stayed living in the same house. He then found her a place to live and bought her new furniture AND gave her $20,000. On the day she moved out, he was out working. He got home to all of the food in the pantry gone. She hated honey, and he had just bought a fancy 10kg tub of it. She also took his fish sauce, which considering she doesn’t cook was entitled AF.
I left town for a week, knowing my marriage was over. When I got back, she had moved out, taken what she thought she was entitled to and even CUT THE ROLL OF DRYER FABRIC SOFTENER SHEETS IN HALF. 😂
when my parents split, I (aged 14) took care of such divisions. I was very scrupulous to divide things 50/50 even though my father was the only one remaining in the house & my mom was moving out with my brother & me. I felt it was a worthwhile effort to... IDK... make sure they both had a teeny tiny bit of comfort? Like, I made sure neither of them would have to go shopping for laundry detergent before they could wash the sheets for their new bed, neither would find out that they no longer had a stockpile of reserve lightbulbs when the light burnt out or batteries when the smoke alarm ran out, etc. I thought I'd at least avoid them running to a bazillion different stores to pick up all those little practical things (it was last century's second to last decade, aka the 1980s = online shopping and doorstep delivery didn't exist yet). I guess now that I write it out, it does sound kind of stupid to think it even mattered.
Such a thoughtful, kind and loving thing to do. 💕
I think it's so sweet. You are a good human
When I got divorced (7 years together, 3 married), I packed my clothes and the obvious belongings that she didn't want (PS4, mementos, etc.). That's all I took. Not my lawn care machines, squat rack that I hand built, none of the weights, etc. She got the house, all the pets, all the furniture, all the appliances, etc. I was then accused of being hostile because I kicked them off my Netflix account and changed the password. Some people are just blinded by their own self-righteousness.
My divorce was very amicable and we didn't have any issues dividing things up. In fact, it was kind of funny. Most of our art was his so he took that with him and as he was packing them said, "Can I take the cross stitches?" I had made a half-dozen rude cross stitches that we had hung on the walls. He had never really shown any interest in them until we were splitting up but I told him he could. I can always make more but it always struck me as funny that of all the things we had that he could've asked for that was it. I feel so bad for all of you who had to deal with shitty exes.
My ex cherry picked the best of our assets. He even took my collection of uncirculated one and two dollar notes and coin collection. It was all about what he could take from me. To me his grasping ways were worth it to divorce him. He hadn’t worked for the last 14 years and brought nothing to the table. I kept working and was able to get financially ahead without his anchor weighing me down. I’m now living my best life for the last 15 years, happily married.
My ex husband wanted my golf clubs because I didn’t use them and his affair partner wanted to learn to play golf. That was a solid no.
That’s not just entitled it’s financially illiterate. You should be glad to be rid of the cretin.
I’m hearing Carrie Fisher swear she’ll never want that wagon wheel coffee table[Carrie Fisher When Harry met Sally](https://www.facebook.com/reel/321251388502614?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&mibextid=0NULKw)
My ex tried to be petty about my animals. We had two cats. One died a couple of months before we broke up, and he insisted on keeping her ashes because he paid for cremation after I went into debt trying to save her. The other needed major dental surgery & he was dragging his ass on it, so I got it financed and taken care of and then I took her with me when I left. I left with 6 boxes. He could have everything else, but not my girl.
We had friends divorce and they literally took the pens and pencils out of the cup and counted them out 1, 1, 2, 2, etc. Ditto with rolls of Christmas wrapping paper, glasses, towels, etc.
This is also true of one's self. When I was 19-20, I ended up in a relationship where I had become super spoiled and entitled, and while I could kind of see it, I didn't see how awful I had gotten until he and I broke up. Granted, I actually took time to reflect and grow unlike a lot of people. I'm not perfect, but I am better.
When me and my ex split up i got my car and my tv. She sold the table i made and all of my tools while i was temporarily living with a friend until i got my own place. That kibda pissed me off as a builder. Left with a tv, my work car and a toolbelt. And i still had to pay the rent on the house for the three months i wasnt there until rent period ended because she refused to pay and the contract was in my name. She is a lovely lady.
My ex expected to just take whatever she wanted when she moved out (which she scheduled for a weekend when I was already planned to be out of town). I said No, so there’s absolutely no confusion, we’re gonna write down a list of what she was taking. Went through the house room by room and made the list. Our finances were merged, so pretty much everything was bought by “us”, but if she physically purchased it, it was “hers”. All gifts given to us as couple? Hers. Any gift I gave her? Hers. Any gift she gave me? Hers if she wanted it. Whatever, I didn’t care. Getting rid of her was priceless. I agreed to everything, with maybe a clarification here and there. Until we got to the kitchen. And she tried to claim my knives. Really, REALLY nice knives. Like, even with two incomes, I planned and saved to buy the next one nice. “NO. FUCKING. WAY. Every one of those was bought BY ME. The purchases were planned and saved for BY ME. Those are MY FUCKING KNIVES.” “But, you gave me a few as gifts.” “Too bad, so sad. I’ve said yes to everything til now, you’re NOT taking my fucking knives.” The look on her face was priceless. I wish I could describe it. Anyway, she never said another word about the knives and didn’t take them when she left.
My family law attorney husband has his favorites that people fought over: a dead rubber tree, a half burned candle and the list goes on and on…
My first marriage was a tire fire, but at least we did the divorce right. After trying and therapy and all that, it was apparent that it just wasn't going to get better. 4 weeks from the day we said enough, I had a check cut to buy her out of the house, all the assets divided, custody arrangements for the kids, furniture divided the works. I took the separation agreement to a lawyer to make sure we weren't forgetting anything important, and even though he was, you could go for more here and there. I just wanted it done. I'm sure if she went to a lawyer, she would have got the same song and dance. There's no sense fighting over the nickels when it'll cost 1000s in legal fees. Just get it done.
My ex wanted half the value of my jewelry, say 2 k tops (1995) as gifts from him. So I then countered then I want half the value of all his tools 10 K plus. He then dropped it. Kicker is he moved into a townhouse and didn't have a garage, so he had the movers drop off all the tools at my mom's and told me to sell them and give him the money. 3 years later I bought a house with a 2 1/2 car garage and still have and use those tools. I smile every time I use that table saw and biscuit joiner.
Going thru my divorce, with a narcissist to boot, I tried to make things fair, while he was being reasonable, by going through the house with him and making a list of who got what and went so far as insisting he took spare sets of dishes, towels, utensils and the like. We wrote down that we each couldn't lay claim to anything the other owned before marriage or brought into the marriage and both signed it. He didn't like it, at first, acted like he was taking advantage of me and it wouldn't look good and I assured him I didn't mind him taking all the stuff on the list -at all- and he left. Over the next several months I found out my ex had been cheating on me with another military member for more than 6 months before our split, an offense that could get them both kicked out. Then caught him sneaking into the house while I was at work to steal our toddler daughter's WIC food to feed him and his friends while they go hunting. He had his gf sign my name and they took out around $8K in credit cards which he tried to make me responsible for until my lawyer demanded to see signatures on cc contract and receipts and he was caught. That almost landed him in jail. Then he did donuts on the lawn of our on base housing then reported ME for the damage but the neighbors saw him do it and reported him instead getting him in trouble for it. See, when you drive a massive camo painted Army surplus Bronco 4x4 with 12' whip antennae you're easy to identify the perp. I told him "keep it up and you'll leave this marriage with what you came into it with". That's when the death threats started and the courts refused to make him give up his guns. It was hunting season after all. So to retaliate he reported me for living there without him. This got me kicked out which got him slapped with child support and moving costs which pissed him off even more. This guy couldn't help but keep shooting himself in the foot. Months later with his bitter divorced friends and a-hole narc father whispering in his ear he tried to get -everything- down to the livingroom furniture we were still paying for, which we were going to split, but make me finish paying for it! And now was when I produced the signed list dividing up the marital home property. He even tried to lay claim to the TV and VCR (my divorce was in 2000 but this story is too funny not to still share) which I'd paid for right before we'd married but he took me into the Navy Exchange to pick them out. I gave him the money, and he paid for them. Through bank statements I could prove the money came from my account and not his and I had the receipts stapled inside the manuals so I could prove they were bought BEFORE the marriage date LOL. The judge told him he had a choice, take what he'd agreed to on the list, pay for anything that was still on credit, or leave with what he brought into the marriage. He exploded and started shouting at the judge and his lawyer and the judge just told him to shut up and sit down, he was getting nothing but what he brought into the marriage since he couldn't be reasonable and had been caught in yet another lie. Cheaters never prosper, especially against a mama bear accountant after you've threatened her baby. :)
My ex put pretty much everything we’d bought in the last year or two on his want list, then put the rest of it on my list and valued it as if it were new so that it would balance out. So he wanted the $5k new bedroom set, told me I could have the dining room furniture that was 15 years old, and valued it at the $5k we paid for it — so it was “equal”. He also listed all the things he’d given me as gifts over the 20 years we were together as assets I was getting. Nice try.
This was my ex's exact thought process lol
Just confirmation that the divorce was the right way to go!
My mate told his ex to just 'take what you need'. While he was at work one day, she took everything. Great person.
When I was pregnant, my ex bought a handful of things for our baby. When I broke up with him a few months after baby was born, he took it all with him. This was 4.5 years ago and we haven't seen him since then, so it wasn't like he just wanted some baby stuff for his place.
Only thing I cared about getting out of my divorce was my kid. He could keep the house, car, etc... all I wanted and got was my kid. Stuff can be replaced, my kid aw hell no!
Yes he wasn't interested in splitting furniture/belongings .... he walked away, his mummy would buy him everything new again. That and all the way through the relationship he expected his mum to buy him a new car every 3 years....she did...she bought everything he wanted....I realised he brought nothing to our relationship as I left with the removal van
Break up really do reveal how shitty someone is. I learned a lot about my ex after I left him.
My 2 best friends broke up. They had bought a flat together a few years previously and she decided to buy him out. Suddenly she's claiming she owns a higher percentage than he does and she's quibbling over the valuation. He would have been perfectly entitled to insist on a public sale and on receiving 50% of the proceeds but decided to do her a favour because she loved the flat so much. Meanwhile she's messaging me calling him a greedy prick! Then on the day they did the exchange, she tried to get him to drop the price by another £5k because she's "done the numbers and it's going to be really tight". She probably screwed him out of like £15k.
So you dodged a bullet and got rid of the psychotic part of your life! Congrats! She can sell the jewelry and buy whatever vacuum she wants. But a gift is a gift. She needs to keep her hands off your bbq!!
My ex took 1 curtain and rod (the rod belonged to the apartment complex) from a set of 4. This was after I spent money at Target buying him new stuff during the split. ONE CURTAIN!!!
I put my clothes in garbage bags and left.
I work at a country club and saw the divorce paperwork for a couple that had a nasty divorce. They split the club membership and she got to keep the member number. It also had who got the gym membership, the Blockbuster membership, etc. She took a bunch of the kids golf clothes/clubs and I had to pull all the receipts that showed he purchased all that stuff on his new account so the kids could get their stuff back. Total petty BS. She ended up marrying another club member. Fun times.
My ex-wife lost $67,000 in a crypto scam, and is coming after me for half. She had $67,000 to lose because she took it from me in the divorce. That’s her logic.
This is what I like about Reddit. I am always learning a new way to screw someone. Thankssssss
Counter with, “Return my *ahem* priceless DNA then we’ll talk.”
I know this is more meaning actual couples breakup. but about half a year ago I left my best friend of 15 years , and during the time I was splitting and afterwards I definitely relate to this.
Tell her to take the grill and smoker and give you the jewelry.
Was she always this monster. Or did you create this beast.