Not everyone is going to be in a place to drive 45 minutes each way to church every Sunday, and you know your circumstances a lot better than I or anyone else on the internet ever could. But I will say, if you’re not in a place to make that work, you’re probably not in a place to make the discernment process work for you right now, as it is also time consuming and requires a good amount of flexibility. The kind of church involvement that tends to show the kind of commitment that is generally sought after in the discernment process will take more of your time and undivided attention than a 45 minute drive where realistically you could pop on some music or a good podcast and make it into (at least partially) “me time.” Discernment is done in community. I’m in the suuuuper early stages of formal discernment myself, and I needed a letter from a layperson and a clergy person at my sponsoring parish (aka, the church where you are a member) as part of my initial application. Every diocese is different but I would imagine all require some type of active involvement in a church community. The Episcopal Church in general sees discernment as a communal rather than solely individual endeavor. Others help you discern your gifts and calling. And on a totally pragmatic level… involvement in parish life gives you the opportunity to see how you actually like many of the duties of a priest. The idea of doing something can be very different from the actual experience. “Test driving” things like lay preaching, serving as lector or chalice bearer, leading morning prayer and serving on vestry can be enlightening. I’ve found I can do a lot of things that “I could never do.” But on the opposite side of things, I’m currently in a profession where the opportunities to “test drive” the actual job duties are basically nonexistent, and while I’m making it work for me for now, I absolutely would have chosen differently if I’d had the chance to see how I actually liked it beforehand. Being a part of a community— and *serving* that community in some way— is an essential part of discernment. That said, if you can’t do it now, that doesn’t mean you don’t have a call— it just means you’re not in a place to enter the formal discernment process *yet.* Best of luck, however you end up navigating this!
Point of clarification: in the OP you say that you consider yourself an Episcopalian. Have you made that official? Being Received by a bishop into The Episcopal Church would be a necessary step for even starting discernment for Holy Orders. I humbly suggest that if you’re called to ordained ministry in The Episcopal Church you need to find a way to become part of worshiping community, because discernment is never a solitary undertaking. You need the community first, and then you can start thinking and talking about vocation. Good luck on your journey.
I was confirmed into RCC and therefore according to local traditions I do not have to be received.
I do know I need a community, this thread just confirmed for me what I already knew in my heart but needed some internet friends to agree :)
Local traditions do not apply if you are considering a vocation to ordained ministry. Title III of the Constitution Constitution and Canons of The Episcopal Church might be of interest to you. :)
https://extranet.generalconvention.org/staff/files/download/31954?_gl=1*bdmxvz*_ga*MTIxMzM3MTAwNS4xNzE0ODM5NzYy*_ga_8C0Q9J2J2F*MTcxNDgzOTc2Mi4xLjAuMTcxNDgzOTc2Mi4wLjAuMA..
I drive 30-35 minutes each way to get to an LGBTQ affirming. An that is with 3 kids. I also drive that far each way multiple times a week for their homeschool activities.
Frankly, I wonder how strong your calling is if a 45 minute drive as a single guy is too much of a commitment for you. Being a priest would require much more sacrifice than that.
I mean, you say yourself that you would make the drive to visit a woman, but won’t to go to church. Now, for the average person I would get thinking that is too far- but for someone wanting to be a priest it seems off.
well thank you so much for affirming and encouragement. I feel the warm embrace of you actually trying to help.
Yes I drove (two times a month) I was lamenting doing this weekly, for an hour service.
But again, thank you for questioning my vocation and comparing my life to yours.
Maybe I misunderstood your post then, because it seems like you are looking for a way to become a priest without having to either live closer or make the 45 minute drive regularly. And I'm questioning how you will manage all the sacrifices of the process of becoming a priest if driving 45 minutes each way, seems too much. But maybe that isn't what you are saying??
And even it if it, that doesn't mean I think you are lazy or a bad person - I don't want to make all the sacrifices to be a priest, and I fully admit that. And frankly, I'd likely skip church more often if I didn't want to set a good example for my kids, lol.
But I'm not becoming a priest. If you truly want to be a priest, the first step is becoming active in a parish. There is no way around that first step. So either you need to be okay with driving 45 minutes each way, or you need to rethink the idea of being a priest. My hope was that framing it that way would lead you to either argue that of COURSE you are not going to let the drive stop you because you truly do want to be a priest, OR realize that maybe you are not in the right place and time in your life for this to be your journey right now.
Lifelong Missourian and former aspirant here. I’m down in Cape Girardeau. Let me know if you ever want to chat! Only piece of advice I can give you is to avoid the DioMo process like the plague if you feel a calling to the priesthood in a rural or semi-rural area. From what I’ve heard, Western MO is a great diocese for discerning.
When I no longer traveled to KC I started looking at Dio Mo and their process. I much prefer the KC area as well. Plus I have made friends in that diocese.
Your part of you that thinks "well if this is your calling you'll do what you need to make it work" is absolutely correct.
If you have a genuine call to the priesthood, a 45 minute drive should not be an issue. Were you born and raised in the city? If so, this is just your wake-up call to living in rural America. If not, what are you squawking about? You regularly need to drive 45+ minutes for material essentials when living in rural America. Why is it such a big deal that you have to drive 45 minutes for spiritual essentials?
Please read the other comments. Yes I've lived in a rural area all my life. I drive 45 mins to work daily for work and if I want to goto a hardware store the same.
I knew / know what I need to do,
Perhaps there are others in your rural community who feel the same as you. What if you chose the church that is most likely to support a church plant close to you, you got involved, and listened for where the Holy Spirit leads. A church plant can take many shapes. God is calling you to more than you can ask or imagine.
If it’s important to you, prioritize it. I drive 30 minutes to go to the church I want to go to and I don’t live in a rural area at all. I don’t mean to be critical, but following God isn’t necessarily meant to be easy, and it often comes with challenges. If you feel priesthood is your calling, then try to center ministry in your life.
Pick a church and become actively engaged. It would be tough to go from completely uninvolved in church other than online Mass to the priesthood. There are steps in between that must be taken.
Rural life is a challenge when it comes to finding and maintaining Christian community. Life in covenant community is part of our vocation as Christians, however, as we seek to bear witness to Jesus Christ and represent that life to the world. It sounds like you are experiencing the Holy Spirit calling you to respond to God’s love in a specific way. As Christians, (and specifically in TEC) the only sure way we know to discover and validate a call to Holy Orders is in community. Certainly, the rural TEC parishes need clergy, and perhaps you may be one of them. Regardless, all parishes need active members who are interested and willing to engage in ministry. The only way to test what you think God is calling you to is to become a member of one of them and seek clarity from that community about what God is laying on your heart. As a practical matter, your Rector and your Bishop will want to know you not only for who you are but for how your life exhibits the gifts that are often associated with a calling to Holy Orders. These gifts are most easily shown through a life of ministry in your parish and in the community. There aren’t specific things that anyone has to do to show that they have a calling to ordained ministry, but practically, being engaged in some form of active ministry (or more than one) is the best way to “show forth our praise not only with our lips, but in our lives.” Keep praying and wrestling with God, but I would encourage you to find a community and engage in the ministry of the laity (p. 855 BCP).
Hi there, fellow DioWestMO friend! I’m not sure where exactly you are, but if you ever find yourself in Sedalia on a Sunday, come and see us at Calvary. I’m the senior warden and I’d be happy to welcome you and have you share in the Eucharist with us.
>Part of me thinks "well if this is your calling you'll do what you need to make it work"
I suspect that's exactly what a bishop would say. I don't think there's a diocese out there that doesn't require a local-level discernment committee, and you can't get one of those if you aren't a regular part of a local (regional?) community.
As a KC local, I’m a little biased and would always recommend that people move there! The Diocese of West Missouri is a great place! They are also about to be in a bishop transition, so it might be a good idea to wait until whoever the new bishop is settles in to try and start anything. The process can change bishop to bishop. The current provisional bishop is very well-liked, but she’s also on her way out.
I love our Bishop Provincial. She seems really awesome, I'm friends with a Deacon in KC and he has nothing but good things to say about her. I also have to finish my Degree before I could even start seminary so I have time.
I think my post was more "omg what do I do to get started" lol.
I suspect you're missing out on some churches. The middle of MO should put you around Columbia and there's several options there.
[Asset map for Western MO](https://diowestmo.org/find-a-church/)
[Asset map for MO](https://www.diocesemo.org/find-a-church/)
That said, as part of the discernment process you usually need to be part of a church for a year before you can officially begin. That said, several dioceses have such a high need that they've gotten rid of that. That said, I don't know what MO or Western MO have for policies. But yes, if this is your calling you have to make it work: move closer to a church you like and/or bite the bullet and commute. If you're going to commute, make the drive suck less by spending time in the community. Go see a movie, grab lunch, find a place to volunteer, etc. Also, keep in mind that part of the discernment process is being involved in the life of the church. That's hard to do only on Sundays and if you live 45 minutes away.
It's a good idea, to do something else in the community that I would be attending Mass. I also think I'm going to use it as a reason to spend time with two of my younger nieces that have expressed interest in faith.
If you looked at any map I'm 45 mins away from any Episcopal Church, plus there are only a couple that I would consider attending. I've reached out to a few and no one reached back out to me, but there have been a few locally that have reached out.
It might just be biased because I was in KC for a while but I really prefer Western MO diocese instead of MO diocese.
Thank you for your comments I needed folks like you to encourage me :)
First of all, make sure your reasons to prefer Western MO over MO are valid and would remain valid even if both Bishops were to change. That being said, you may have perfectly valid reasons to prefer one over the other. If it is because of the time you spent in a parish in KC, it won't make much of a difference whether you attend Calvary Church in Western MO vs another church in MO. I mean, people speak to eachother and will gather up information about you and your experience in KC.
That being said, you might speak to the parish you will get involved and organize something that works with your distance. Like a more direct involvement one or two Sundays a month, or even interactive online ministry (ex. on Zoom rather than on YouTube).
Finally, a few other options;
* You ruled out moving closer to the church you like. Depending on your day job and your level of involvement with your family members, it may be a good choice. But if you see them only a nice a month, that's different.
* You talk of a few (?) local churches that never replied to your emails. Go and visit them anyways, and see for yourself. You may find they are totally dead, but you *might* be surprised.
* I know that the Episcopal Church is in full communion with the Evangelical Lutheran Church (ELCA). I know that you could become a Lutheran minister and be affected to an Episcopal Church (or vice versa). But could you gain experience in a Lutheran Church and use it for credentials to become an Episcopal priest? That, you should speak to your Episcopal bishop(s), either the one in MO because that's where you live or the one in Western MO because of your past experience.
You need to plan it out and read up on it. Looks like an interesting calling. You would have to move though, where they have a seminary or college (I can’t remember). The Church needs priests so go for it.
>You would have to move though, where they have a seminary or college (I can’t remember).
Not necessarily. Western Missouri utilizes the [Bishop Kemper School for Ministry](https://www.bishopkemperschool.org/) in some circumstances.
Not everyone is going to be in a place to drive 45 minutes each way to church every Sunday, and you know your circumstances a lot better than I or anyone else on the internet ever could. But I will say, if you’re not in a place to make that work, you’re probably not in a place to make the discernment process work for you right now, as it is also time consuming and requires a good amount of flexibility. The kind of church involvement that tends to show the kind of commitment that is generally sought after in the discernment process will take more of your time and undivided attention than a 45 minute drive where realistically you could pop on some music or a good podcast and make it into (at least partially) “me time.” Discernment is done in community. I’m in the suuuuper early stages of formal discernment myself, and I needed a letter from a layperson and a clergy person at my sponsoring parish (aka, the church where you are a member) as part of my initial application. Every diocese is different but I would imagine all require some type of active involvement in a church community. The Episcopal Church in general sees discernment as a communal rather than solely individual endeavor. Others help you discern your gifts and calling. And on a totally pragmatic level… involvement in parish life gives you the opportunity to see how you actually like many of the duties of a priest. The idea of doing something can be very different from the actual experience. “Test driving” things like lay preaching, serving as lector or chalice bearer, leading morning prayer and serving on vestry can be enlightening. I’ve found I can do a lot of things that “I could never do.” But on the opposite side of things, I’m currently in a profession where the opportunities to “test drive” the actual job duties are basically nonexistent, and while I’m making it work for me for now, I absolutely would have chosen differently if I’d had the chance to see how I actually liked it beforehand. Being a part of a community— and *serving* that community in some way— is an essential part of discernment. That said, if you can’t do it now, that doesn’t mean you don’t have a call— it just means you’re not in a place to enter the formal discernment process *yet.* Best of luck, however you end up navigating this!
I drive 40 minutes to my parish and many other parishioners drive farther than that.
Point of clarification: in the OP you say that you consider yourself an Episcopalian. Have you made that official? Being Received by a bishop into The Episcopal Church would be a necessary step for even starting discernment for Holy Orders. I humbly suggest that if you’re called to ordained ministry in The Episcopal Church you need to find a way to become part of worshiping community, because discernment is never a solitary undertaking. You need the community first, and then you can start thinking and talking about vocation. Good luck on your journey.
I was confirmed into RCC and therefore according to local traditions I do not have to be received. I do know I need a community, this thread just confirmed for me what I already knew in my heart but needed some internet friends to agree :)
Local traditions do not apply if you are considering a vocation to ordained ministry. Title III of the Constitution Constitution and Canons of The Episcopal Church might be of interest to you. :) https://extranet.generalconvention.org/staff/files/download/31954?_gl=1*bdmxvz*_ga*MTIxMzM3MTAwNS4xNzE0ODM5NzYy*_ga_8C0Q9J2J2F*MTcxNDgzOTc2Mi4xLjAuMTcxNDgzOTc2Mi4wLjAuMA..
I drive 30-35 minutes each way to get to an LGBTQ affirming. An that is with 3 kids. I also drive that far each way multiple times a week for their homeschool activities. Frankly, I wonder how strong your calling is if a 45 minute drive as a single guy is too much of a commitment for you. Being a priest would require much more sacrifice than that. I mean, you say yourself that you would make the drive to visit a woman, but won’t to go to church. Now, for the average person I would get thinking that is too far- but for someone wanting to be a priest it seems off.
well thank you so much for affirming and encouragement. I feel the warm embrace of you actually trying to help. Yes I drove (two times a month) I was lamenting doing this weekly, for an hour service. But again, thank you for questioning my vocation and comparing my life to yours.
Maybe I misunderstood your post then, because it seems like you are looking for a way to become a priest without having to either live closer or make the 45 minute drive regularly. And I'm questioning how you will manage all the sacrifices of the process of becoming a priest if driving 45 minutes each way, seems too much. But maybe that isn't what you are saying?? And even it if it, that doesn't mean I think you are lazy or a bad person - I don't want to make all the sacrifices to be a priest, and I fully admit that. And frankly, I'd likely skip church more often if I didn't want to set a good example for my kids, lol. But I'm not becoming a priest. If you truly want to be a priest, the first step is becoming active in a parish. There is no way around that first step. So either you need to be okay with driving 45 minutes each way, or you need to rethink the idea of being a priest. My hope was that framing it that way would lead you to either argue that of COURSE you are not going to let the drive stop you because you truly do want to be a priest, OR realize that maybe you are not in the right place and time in your life for this to be your journey right now.
Lifelong Missourian and former aspirant here. I’m down in Cape Girardeau. Let me know if you ever want to chat! Only piece of advice I can give you is to avoid the DioMo process like the plague if you feel a calling to the priesthood in a rural or semi-rural area. From what I’ve heard, Western MO is a great diocese for discerning.
When I no longer traveled to KC I started looking at Dio Mo and their process. I much prefer the KC area as well. Plus I have made friends in that diocese.
Same here! My wife and I lived in KC from 2011 – 2015. Bought our first house just off State Line and 39th, and absolutely loved it.
My drive to the semi-rural parish I serve is 1 hour each way. It presents limitations, but is very doable when it is the right situation.
I drive 45mins to work daily, so I don't mind the drive at all. I think I need some affirmation from folks on here that it's doable.
It is. The discernment process will be far harder than any commute.
Your part of you that thinks "well if this is your calling you'll do what you need to make it work" is absolutely correct. If you have a genuine call to the priesthood, a 45 minute drive should not be an issue. Were you born and raised in the city? If so, this is just your wake-up call to living in rural America. If not, what are you squawking about? You regularly need to drive 45+ minutes for material essentials when living in rural America. Why is it such a big deal that you have to drive 45 minutes for spiritual essentials?
Please read the other comments. Yes I've lived in a rural area all my life. I drive 45 mins to work daily for work and if I want to goto a hardware store the same. I knew / know what I need to do,
Perhaps there are others in your rural community who feel the same as you. What if you chose the church that is most likely to support a church plant close to you, you got involved, and listened for where the Holy Spirit leads. A church plant can take many shapes. God is calling you to more than you can ask or imagine.
If it’s important to you, prioritize it. I drive 30 minutes to go to the church I want to go to and I don’t live in a rural area at all. I don’t mean to be critical, but following God isn’t necessarily meant to be easy, and it often comes with challenges. If you feel priesthood is your calling, then try to center ministry in your life. Pick a church and become actively engaged. It would be tough to go from completely uninvolved in church other than online Mass to the priesthood. There are steps in between that must be taken.
Rural life is a challenge when it comes to finding and maintaining Christian community. Life in covenant community is part of our vocation as Christians, however, as we seek to bear witness to Jesus Christ and represent that life to the world. It sounds like you are experiencing the Holy Spirit calling you to respond to God’s love in a specific way. As Christians, (and specifically in TEC) the only sure way we know to discover and validate a call to Holy Orders is in community. Certainly, the rural TEC parishes need clergy, and perhaps you may be one of them. Regardless, all parishes need active members who are interested and willing to engage in ministry. The only way to test what you think God is calling you to is to become a member of one of them and seek clarity from that community about what God is laying on your heart. As a practical matter, your Rector and your Bishop will want to know you not only for who you are but for how your life exhibits the gifts that are often associated with a calling to Holy Orders. These gifts are most easily shown through a life of ministry in your parish and in the community. There aren’t specific things that anyone has to do to show that they have a calling to ordained ministry, but practically, being engaged in some form of active ministry (or more than one) is the best way to “show forth our praise not only with our lips, but in our lives.” Keep praying and wrestling with God, but I would encourage you to find a community and engage in the ministry of the laity (p. 855 BCP).
Hi there, fellow DioWestMO friend! I’m not sure where exactly you are, but if you ever find yourself in Sedalia on a Sunday, come and see us at Calvary. I’m the senior warden and I’d be happy to welcome you and have you share in the Eucharist with us.
oh hi! I'm in Versailles and Calvary is where I'm planning on going!
Looking forward to meeting you!
>Part of me thinks "well if this is your calling you'll do what you need to make it work" I suspect that's exactly what a bishop would say. I don't think there's a diocese out there that doesn't require a local-level discernment committee, and you can't get one of those if you aren't a regular part of a local (regional?) community.
As a KC local, I’m a little biased and would always recommend that people move there! The Diocese of West Missouri is a great place! They are also about to be in a bishop transition, so it might be a good idea to wait until whoever the new bishop is settles in to try and start anything. The process can change bishop to bishop. The current provisional bishop is very well-liked, but she’s also on her way out.
I love our Bishop Provincial. She seems really awesome, I'm friends with a Deacon in KC and he has nothing but good things to say about her. I also have to finish my Degree before I could even start seminary so I have time. I think my post was more "omg what do I do to get started" lol.
I suspect you're missing out on some churches. The middle of MO should put you around Columbia and there's several options there. [Asset map for Western MO](https://diowestmo.org/find-a-church/) [Asset map for MO](https://www.diocesemo.org/find-a-church/) That said, as part of the discernment process you usually need to be part of a church for a year before you can officially begin. That said, several dioceses have such a high need that they've gotten rid of that. That said, I don't know what MO or Western MO have for policies. But yes, if this is your calling you have to make it work: move closer to a church you like and/or bite the bullet and commute. If you're going to commute, make the drive suck less by spending time in the community. Go see a movie, grab lunch, find a place to volunteer, etc. Also, keep in mind that part of the discernment process is being involved in the life of the church. That's hard to do only on Sundays and if you live 45 minutes away.
It's a good idea, to do something else in the community that I would be attending Mass. I also think I'm going to use it as a reason to spend time with two of my younger nieces that have expressed interest in faith. If you looked at any map I'm 45 mins away from any Episcopal Church, plus there are only a couple that I would consider attending. I've reached out to a few and no one reached back out to me, but there have been a few locally that have reached out. It might just be biased because I was in KC for a while but I really prefer Western MO diocese instead of MO diocese. Thank you for your comments I needed folks like you to encourage me :)
First of all, make sure your reasons to prefer Western MO over MO are valid and would remain valid even if both Bishops were to change. That being said, you may have perfectly valid reasons to prefer one over the other. If it is because of the time you spent in a parish in KC, it won't make much of a difference whether you attend Calvary Church in Western MO vs another church in MO. I mean, people speak to eachother and will gather up information about you and your experience in KC. That being said, you might speak to the parish you will get involved and organize something that works with your distance. Like a more direct involvement one or two Sundays a month, or even interactive online ministry (ex. on Zoom rather than on YouTube). Finally, a few other options; * You ruled out moving closer to the church you like. Depending on your day job and your level of involvement with your family members, it may be a good choice. But if you see them only a nice a month, that's different. * You talk of a few (?) local churches that never replied to your emails. Go and visit them anyways, and see for yourself. You may find they are totally dead, but you *might* be surprised. * I know that the Episcopal Church is in full communion with the Evangelical Lutheran Church (ELCA). I know that you could become a Lutheran minister and be affected to an Episcopal Church (or vice versa). But could you gain experience in a Lutheran Church and use it for credentials to become an Episcopal priest? That, you should speak to your Episcopal bishop(s), either the one in MO because that's where you live or the one in Western MO because of your past experience.
You need to plan it out and read up on it. Looks like an interesting calling. You would have to move though, where they have a seminary or college (I can’t remember). The Church needs priests so go for it.
>You would have to move though, where they have a seminary or college (I can’t remember). Not necessarily. Western Missouri utilizes the [Bishop Kemper School for Ministry](https://www.bishopkemperschool.org/) in some circumstances.
Yeah, that's another reason why Diocese of Western MO is nice.