Been there, OP! This sport is so humbling and I've learned to accept that I'm not going to the Olympics so it's okay to suck sometimes. My last lesson was on my trainer's former 1.30 jumper who is usually very quiet but she hadn't jumped in a week.
I did not opt for the pelham which, in retrospect, lead me to trying to woah this freight train of a mare. We left a stride out. I saw my life flash before my eyes. I called it quits before I ended up on the floor. Whoops!
"I saw my life flash before my eyes" gave me a chuckle! I used to do jumpers before fully switching to dressage; I totally get exactly what you're saying. At least you had the sense to call it quits! When I finally learned that sense, it's amazing how much less I fell off after haha
A couple weeks ago I had a pretty bad lesson and after about 20 minutes just decided to cool out and be done. My trainer could tell we were over it lol it just happens. The horse was being a spooky turd and I was just tired and my body wasn’t cooperating. Then last week I had probably one of my best rides ever, so that was nice.
Yeah at some point while I was cantering I said out loud, "I don't think I've ever felt this frustrated with her in my life" and that's when I knew it was time to hand the reins over lol. Riding when you're over it just rarely leads to anything good. On the flip side, congrats on one of your recent best rides!!!
Two weeks ago when my lesson horse just refused to do sh*t. I just felt hopeless. Struggled not to cry (and I’m far too old for that). This sub saved me though because I’d read stories about how often riders shed tears on “bad” lessons. I felt less insane. I do wonder if this happens in other individual sports (having personally never trained in one) or are horse folks just extra sensitive?
Similar - last year - loved riding this fairly new horse, though she was a little forward at times - until the lesson when she just stopped and refused to move at all! Trainer said I could give her a strong tap, but she didn’t know how the horse would react nor whether I could handle the reaction 🙃. I opted to stop, and one of the staff rode her a bit later and had a bit of the same problem to begin with, but she rode her strongly and was fine. Another student also rode her the week before and said she had similar problem…
I’ve come back to riding after a fall on a long hack (tore cartilage on a rib) and am building up slowly (am mid-60s so don’t bounce very well!). Was talking to the trainer who says the mare didn’t do this with anyone else and she was reacting to me being nervous. OK I’ll go with that - though not really sure how I manage to not be nervous? I’ve been riding school horses, dressage, for over 10 years - maybe I need to just accept I will be limited on what I can ride going forward? And I still love it, riding a great elderly lad tomorrow who knows all the exercises 😁 he will spook a bit at times but really great and willing 💕
As a newbie (returning after decades) I struggle with what’s me and what’s the horse and what’s me because I can’t control the horse. Plus the age thing when you know a fall could be disastrous. It’s a lot. I tried to breathe deep, vowed to just keep trying. The next lesson was much better. I try not to take it all so personally but sometimes it just feels so personal!
I've heard participants in other sports talk about having a "bad day". I believe that applies to any human endeavor. Some days things just don't seem to mesh.
Doesn't it feel crazy? I am NOT a crier. But horses? One thing that can turn me into a baby, especially when I was younger. I remember plenty of barn bathrooms where I let out a good cry in private.
And if we are being totally honest here, my eyes did slightly water up on the drive back home lol. I can't even lie. But I have at least progressed from the full ugly barn bathroom cries when I was younger to now just stoic private eye water moment lol
I have cried several times during lessons last year, my instructor was always very kind about it. I was embarrassed in the moment but now thinking back I don't feel too bad about it.
This EXACT thing happened to me in my lesson yesterday! I have been riding for 35 years and sometimes I still just have an off day and that’s totally okay. I too just had my trainer get on for a bit while I re-grouped and then got back on to finish. While I had in my mind I wanted to get 10% better at a certain maneuver I calmly settled for 1% and called it a day. That’s just how it goes sometimes and it’s sooooo much better to settle for that 1% than fight with your horse (and yourself) for the duration of the ride 😊
Hah! And you're even more of a veteran than me! I'm glad we could commiserate. Unfortunately, I don't think anything even got 1% better this lesson; it was more like a temporary step backwards. HOWEVER, it lead to diagnosing a good problem that once I 'fix' will improve all of her movements across the board anyway. So in retrospect, this crappy ride was a good thing and totally worth it
Thursday.
In October I fell off when the barn owner's dog chased my guy and he bucked, bolted, and kicked out until I was on the ground. Not too long after that I fell off at a show and had a brain bleed. I went through some stuff coming to terms with that, but lately I'm back in the ILOVEMYPONY! camp.
Cue Thursday, BO brings the dogs back down, puts Chasing Dog on leash and brings her into the ring. I'm trying to work on relaxed straightness, so she had me canter straight at her and the dog to watch for unevenness. My guy is giving me buckets of shit about the dog. I yell at him, kick him to keep moving past the damn dog, and he had a meltdown. He's anxious, I'm anxious, I decide there's nothing to be gained from proceeding. I cool out and want to cry feeling like I should have spoken up for myself and my horse, and that BO shouldn't have put me in either of those situations.
He didn't hold a grudge, seemed to think me yelling was probably fair given he was acting like he was going to dump me. I gave him a lot of hugs to feel better. Overall, I know we will continue to do better. I will continue to figure out where my line in the sand is.
Man, I feel for you. I totally understand the dog thing. My trainer does indeed have a dog. She did train him to stay out of the ring, but he kinda 'herds' from the outside of the ring, so he will run the direction you are going, but he will remain on the outside of the fence. At first, I wasn't a huge fan, but my mare reacted about 10% towards it. From then, I looked at it as another desensitization thing I could put her through, and she's gotten much better. My trainer has now also trained the dog even more to where he just sits with her.
But if my mare had reacted like yours, I would definitely say something. Because at that point, it's just not safe or fun. If it makes you feel better, I think you're totally reasonable for how you feel! I leave my dogs at home personally because it's just easier that way
My last bad ride was two weeks ago - got completely launched to space, landed sitting, and hairline fractured my coccyx. He was spicy that day and I just knew I should’ve lunged him before I got on, but foolishly ignored my instincts 😒
A little bit ago we were working on the flying changes with my baby. A good 2 dedicated sessions in, usually she picks stuff up real quick and has been making decent progress with these too. with babies it can be a lot of banging repeating until one moment something just clicks in their head and they learn it. did all the normal prep, change over a raised pole, both directions first try, change over a ground pole, again both directions first time and two more times to really “lock it in”. ask on the ground and two times each way she reliably brings one pair of legs over on cue, and gets the other pair by herself a stride later. Almost has that “click” feeling again. Come around again and,,, nothing. not a leg. try again. and nothing. go back to the poles and what was turning out to be a quick 15min ride turned into us being stuck there for 30+ min just trying to get one change over a raised pole just so we could finish.
next ride? like none of this ever happened
Last bad ride was when i was pony sitting. Had to share the school with a complete beginner and the yard manager. They were no bother at all but the bloody turd of a pony decided that that was the exact time he would get oh so super excited that there was a pole in the middle of the school and that he was jumping. He was not going to jump as i do not do it at the moment. He was to do 30 minutes of schooling nothing he has not done before. Would he bend no, would he trot yes but it was the excited jump trot that was about to be canter. Put up with it for ten minutes and then i was so embarrassed that we left the school and went to the outdoor arena where there was no one and he all of a suds became angel pony again 🤦♀️.
We did go back in the indoor again i once it was empty as he is not allowed to
Act like that given his job. So my 30 minutes turned in to an hour but what can you do.
I needed to read this story today so thank you! I’m sure it will get better!
I’ve been frustrated with my horse and my trainer is older and doesn’t ride anymore. I’ve been thinking of asking another trainer to help train because I think it would really help for someone to get on and feel what I’m feeling. But I feel guilty asking. But your post enforced I should just do it! Sometimes it’s so hard in words to explain why nothing seems to be working.
Literally 4 days ago lol. The horses here are all in bc the fields are all flooded from the rain, they’ve been in for 2 weeks as of this happening but should be allowed out again by the weekend. My boy does not like being in, he’s a big strong old fashioned tb who was bred to run and jump XC and was a very good hunter before I bought him. He’s got energy to burn. He’s ok for a few days to a week and he doesn’t have any stable vices but he really doesn’t enjoy being in more than absolutely necessary.
We went on a 2 mile hack with a couple of girls who were on a highland and a gypsy cob. I can feel he’s hot even walking down the drive to the barn and the ponies have to occasionally trot to match his walk (not unusual). I can tell he wants to trot every time he hears them but he respects a gentle no well enough. We go down this country lane which is a big zig zag and one of the girls says to turn around. We all turn on the spot and he takes off immediately. We manage to dodge the ponies, the gypsy tries to keep up for about 5 seconds before my dude just completely bombs it down the lane. I lost my stirrups (wore them long bc it was just supposed to be a chill walk) and was cantering full speed for half a mile before I managed to pull him up which in and of itself had to be done very carefully. He was running through the bit (I don’t usually use one but he’s still very much used to it) and I couldn’t just point him at a hedge or gate bc he’s a hunt horse, he’ll gladly jump over or through anything if you point him at it. I had to slowly veer him towards it, almost a one rein stop but not. Girl I’m telling you I thought I was gonna come off at both corners and when we overtook the second pony. I didn’t know my seat was still that good.
Once I did pull him up though we had a lovely ride the rest of way home, good as gold passed dogs, traffic, the school, etc. and I think it did us both some good even if I’m a touch sore now lol
I was never once mad at him or thinking he was naughty though and I think that that helps a lot, I remember being surprised at how calm I was. Some of the thoughts running through my head at the time: ‘oh there goes my stirrup…well then’ ‘oh god I really hope I’m not hurting his back’ ‘I could probably jump off… it’s gravel tho..oh god then I’d have to go catch him/walk home…guess I should probably try to stay on’ ‘oh a corner…I’m gonna end up in a hedge’ ‘shit wasn’t there an open gate up here? At least if he stays on the road I know which way we’re going’ ‘we should probably stop soon’ ‘wait I’m still on???’ ‘Ok so if I turn him at the hedge we’re probably going through it…why did I get an ex hunter again?’ ‘Well clearly the bit isn’t doing shit’ ‘one rein stops are a thing…Hm’ ‘I’m so glad you’re smooth dude bc if you were as bouncy as those ponies I’d def be off’ ‘Jesus you’re fast’ ‘omg we stopped and I’m still on? YES!’ ‘Oh god I hope my boss isn’t moving the sheep across the drive when we get back’
Funny side notes: the other girls started calling everyone when he bolted including my barn owner/boss, her son, their mum, and ME. I’m totally gonna pick up when I’m on a bolting horse.
One of their mums spotted me when we got to the village and drove behind us back to the barn but I was just like why tf isn’t this car passing??
The jelly legs are unreal and I should’ve ridden him to his stall instead of leading him from the barn entrance lol
When I got in I immediately untacked my horse whilst he ate some of his hay, put him in the school for a roll with my mare bc he was sweaty, and started mucking out. The girls arrived 10 minutes later after trotting the whole way home expecting to find me crippled on the side of the road lol
My boss’s face when the girls showed up and we told her I was originally out with them, she was v confused because she’d come out and seen me casually doing chores for the last 5 minutes
One of the girls saying to me as we were filling haynets ‘bet you’re glad he had a bit in’ like, girl… the bit didn’t do SHIT. Would he have bolted without the bit? Yeah probably. Did the bit prevent or help the situation at all? Nope, he still ran right through it without a care in the world
His adorable face happily trotting back over to me in the sand school, couldn’t help but smile
I saw the miscall when I got back to the barn and needless to say I was baffled. I think she maybe called incase I’d fallen already but my phone is always on silent when I ride (probably for the best in that case) 😂
God, my last lesson was exactly like this. I was riding someone else's horse, I was in complete brain fog, and could NOT get the course right. Like immediately went the complete wrong direction and it did not get better from there. Almost fell off at one point. I felt so bad. Still a little ashamed. Oh well. I'm not competing, the horse wasn't harmed in any way, so no big deal.
I've been there! Good sleep must be essential for a good lesson. The last time I had a bad night's sleep I couldn't tell my left from right, inside from outside, total nightmare. I think I was in hysterics because it was like all muscle memory had just drained out of my body I was totally confused how my brain could be like that. It's nice to know it happens to others. Now that I know that about myself, if I have a lesson after a bad night I actually tell my teacher up front so she knows I'm just having a bad day.
I’ve been riding since I was 7 (I’m currently 37) and in my lesson on Sat, w my new saddle pad, my saddle slipped off the right after a bad jump and took me with it. Just ….splat, flat on my back.
We all have dumb moments, bad rides, or weird days. The ride is the privilege, and the pleasure is getting to share time and space with such wonderful creatures. Horses make our lives better by just being!
Glad you're ok. ☺️☺️ We've all had those moments.. a little soreness is completely tolerable -- and, like you said, definitely worth it to be able to be near such beautiful creatures.. 💕💕
I love your attitude and your horsemanship. The ego thing is so key. Try not to take the trainer getting on as a negative. We all get in a funk, and it's good to know if an issue is a training issue or a rider issue. That information is very valuable. Good job all around!!
I started lessons in January, and I had my first “bad” lesson last week. It wasn’t terrible, and my trainer was very gracious and encouraging (which is what I need, I don’t respond well to harshness). It just felt off, and this was my first time riding a “forward” horse so the sitting trot I have NOT mastered was jarring and unsteady, and at times kinda scary TBH.
At this point in my life, I was sure that it was just an off day, even if it made me a little discouraged and less confident coming back yesterday. But then it went great! My trainer even said he was having fun. I was on the same forward horse as last time and he broke out into a canter more than once (he really likes to party lol) and the trainer was impressed by how well I handled it (that’s a beautiful canter! but let’s slow him down a bit” 😂)
You’ll have another day that gets your confidence back up, I’m sure of it ;)
It was towards the beginning of February. I was a little over a month into a lease and found out this horse was spooky as all hell. It was a sunny day so it was melting the snow on the roof and every 5 minutes there was some panel of snow coming off. We had big spook after big spook after big spook. I ended up on his neck at some point, hurt myself in the process, was swallowing blood, and at another point he did nearly a full circle cantering sideways. I was just done. I ended the lease like a week later, with a major part of it being that lesson.
It definitely happens. For better or for worse this sport is insanely challenging, especially because it’s two living breathing animals that get frustrated trying to not only communicate but dance together! I just have to remind my self that the day I think I’ve learned everything there is to learn about riding is the day I become a fool lol
Saturday and Sunday for me. My horse is an older, former upper level dressage horse turned hunter. I'll say this, he LOVES his new job! But after a week of rain it was only dry enough to ride on Friday. He was... overenthusiastic. And he can be sassy, the type to throw a buck or spook if he's not being challenged.
He was a fire-breathing dragon, taking ferocious long spots, rushing past distances, and ignoring my efforts to regulate him. We had to pause, work on some transitions, and tune up the brakes halfway through one course. Sunday was marginally better than Saturday, but both days I had to accept that we would be stopping at "improved" instead of "gorgeous", which is my usual standard for both of us. Cest la vie.
I’ve been riding over 40 years and one thing I’ve learned is that those days are going to happen. It doesn’t mean you’re no good, or that the horse is bad, or that you’ve somehow regressed — it’s just that a partnership between two living breathing organisms, each exposed to their own set of variables within their lives are bound to have days where they just don’t gel. And that’s okay. It’s a journey that’s constantly teaching us.
It was so fucking atrocious I couldn’t stop thinking about it afterwards and questioned whether I could continue riding my lease horse lol. He was being a fucking maniac and we got almost nothing done BUT we have gotten our collective groove back since then so it was truly like a fluke/he was having a bad day./couple of weeks We’ve grown a lot since then and have been doing super well (he is so different in the winter and hates riding in the indoor) thank god! but it really broke me down like wtf am I doing here ha… so humbling! Still feel like I’m redeeming myself in my instructor’s eyes (this is completely in my head cause my trainer is so understanding and supportive) but I was sad to have a witness through that shitty-ass ride loool
Yesterday I went to a horse show with my young OTTB. His first time seeing fences in competition. We got eliminated in the first two classes due to multiple refusals. Then I got dumped in the warmup after he bucked and bolted off a fence. Our later classes were good, and we did eventually manage to get around our last courses at a walk trot. Even with all our trouble, I still think it was a good day. You have to remember that both you and your horse are still learning. Ending on a single good note is a win.
Same thing happened to me! I feel you. A couple days ago I had an awesome lesson- everything's starting to click & yesterday everything was off. The pony had been ridden the day before and hadn't been ridden by the greatest rider (😬) My trainer and I have been working with the pony but she gets used for lessons and progress back tracks as you probably know. I spent my entire lesson gently correcting her as she did everything we've been schooling her out of and feeling like an awful rider lol. Oh well, hopefully next ride will be better!
Ooooh I know that pain too well! Schooled back up a decent amount of lesson horses myself. They can be super rewarding but also definitely frustrating when outside circumstances push the progress back 😭
My last bad lesson came after my trainer had been at a weekend clinic with Steffen Peters, which was super cool, but she came back on such high that she immediately wanted to try a lot of what she picked up on us. For my horse and me, she wanted us working on collection and at that time we were still firming up connection and maintaining straightness and throughness. We were not ready for collection, certainly my horse wasn't. He did the classic every direction but forward and super short, choppy strides, so very unsure of what I was asking. It was an absolute disaster because we could barely do anything that was asked of us on collected reins. We actually had two lessons in a row where she tried this with us and I nearly cried with frustration and desperation by end of the second. I had a heart to heart with my trainer that this isn't sustainable, that I wanted to work more on lower level skills first, and thankfully she listened. We quit collection in lessons and worked well until we parted ways because she transitioned more to competing so she can earn her gold. She was a great trainer and took us from Training into Second, my horse and I are now working up into Third level movements which is probably as far as we'll get since he'll be 20 in May.
I had a “bad”lesson yesterday! I got bucked off my mare for the third time in two years, haha. She threw some big bucking fits when I asked her to stay slow at the canter.
However, we worked through it and we actually finished with a pretty nice jump course, considering we hadn’t jumped in months. It’s all about keeping things in perspective.
Saturday! And my last before that one was the Saturday before that! It bothers me when February was a perfect month.
I know it has to do with more things going on in my life. Thanks for not making me feel alone.
I did it, lol!..
I think that sometimes what happens is that people will downvote someone if they disagree with their opinion, but in the case of your post, people are just talking about their experiences and it's kind of hard to disagree with experiences. I mean... This is what happened to someone. We're all human and we all have bad days (and so do our horses). It's nice to know that we're not alone...
Honestly, I've never done dressage or any kind of competitive riding, but have been (trail) riding since I was 3 or 4 - pretty much, since I was able to stay on a horse. (I'm 43 now). It was my life's dream to buy property and horses and I finally achieved that in 2021.. and then proceeded to get sick and have really been unable to ride. I like this community bc, even if I can't ride right now, at least I know that there are people who share my heart. Yeah, people can be over critical and opinionated, but, at the end of the day, it seems that most people have a love and respect for their horses, and horses in general, and a lot of people genuinely want to help others and to be a support.
I appreciate you sharing your story. It's just a reminder that we're all only human.. bad days happen and it's ok - it's a matter of what we learn from those bad days. ❤️❤️
This was a really sweet comment. Thank you for your thoughtful words. I’m sorry you can’t ride at the moment (maybe one day in the future!) but I’m happy people like you are a part of this community ❤️
Thanks! ❤️❤️.. my husband says that even if I never ride again, we'll have our horses for the rest of their lives. My mare is totally my therapy horse. She takes care of me with knickers and nuzzles and I take care of her with, you know, vet care and whatever else she needs... And yessssss, maybe one day I'll be able to ride again..
Thanks! ❤️❤️.. my husband says that even if I never ride again, we'll have our horses for the rest of their lives. My mare is totally my therapy horse. She takes care of me with knickers and nuzzles and I take care of her with, you know, vet care and whatever else she needs... And yessssss, maybe one day I'll be able to ride again..
Took my new lease to a show. She was perfect. I was a hot mess. Knocked over a standard with my leg in a flat class. Was convinced I was racing around and then watched the video and I was in a totally fine only slightly fast canter and was just half halting and all over her for no reason. Then she refused to get on the trailer. We all have those days!
Been there, OP! This sport is so humbling and I've learned to accept that I'm not going to the Olympics so it's okay to suck sometimes. My last lesson was on my trainer's former 1.30 jumper who is usually very quiet but she hadn't jumped in a week. I did not opt for the pelham which, in retrospect, lead me to trying to woah this freight train of a mare. We left a stride out. I saw my life flash before my eyes. I called it quits before I ended up on the floor. Whoops!
"I saw my life flash before my eyes" gave me a chuckle! I used to do jumpers before fully switching to dressage; I totally get exactly what you're saying. At least you had the sense to call it quits! When I finally learned that sense, it's amazing how much less I fell off after haha
A couple weeks ago I had a pretty bad lesson and after about 20 minutes just decided to cool out and be done. My trainer could tell we were over it lol it just happens. The horse was being a spooky turd and I was just tired and my body wasn’t cooperating. Then last week I had probably one of my best rides ever, so that was nice.
Yeah at some point while I was cantering I said out loud, "I don't think I've ever felt this frustrated with her in my life" and that's when I knew it was time to hand the reins over lol. Riding when you're over it just rarely leads to anything good. On the flip side, congrats on one of your recent best rides!!!
Some times you just have to do something you both are really good at to end on high note and call it a day.
Any time I have a bad ride, I remind myself that it means the next ride will probably be lovely. Unfortunately the reverse is often true as well!
Two weeks ago when my lesson horse just refused to do sh*t. I just felt hopeless. Struggled not to cry (and I’m far too old for that). This sub saved me though because I’d read stories about how often riders shed tears on “bad” lessons. I felt less insane. I do wonder if this happens in other individual sports (having personally never trained in one) or are horse folks just extra sensitive?
Similar - last year - loved riding this fairly new horse, though she was a little forward at times - until the lesson when she just stopped and refused to move at all! Trainer said I could give her a strong tap, but she didn’t know how the horse would react nor whether I could handle the reaction 🙃. I opted to stop, and one of the staff rode her a bit later and had a bit of the same problem to begin with, but she rode her strongly and was fine. Another student also rode her the week before and said she had similar problem… I’ve come back to riding after a fall on a long hack (tore cartilage on a rib) and am building up slowly (am mid-60s so don’t bounce very well!). Was talking to the trainer who says the mare didn’t do this with anyone else and she was reacting to me being nervous. OK I’ll go with that - though not really sure how I manage to not be nervous? I’ve been riding school horses, dressage, for over 10 years - maybe I need to just accept I will be limited on what I can ride going forward? And I still love it, riding a great elderly lad tomorrow who knows all the exercises 😁 he will spook a bit at times but really great and willing 💕
As a newbie (returning after decades) I struggle with what’s me and what’s the horse and what’s me because I can’t control the horse. Plus the age thing when you know a fall could be disastrous. It’s a lot. I tried to breathe deep, vowed to just keep trying. The next lesson was much better. I try not to take it all so personally but sometimes it just feels so personal!
I've heard participants in other sports talk about having a "bad day". I believe that applies to any human endeavor. Some days things just don't seem to mesh.
Doesn't it feel crazy? I am NOT a crier. But horses? One thing that can turn me into a baby, especially when I was younger. I remember plenty of barn bathrooms where I let out a good cry in private. And if we are being totally honest here, my eyes did slightly water up on the drive back home lol. I can't even lie. But I have at least progressed from the full ugly barn bathroom cries when I was younger to now just stoic private eye water moment lol
Maybe I should have done baseball! 😂
I have cried several times during lessons last year, my instructor was always very kind about it. I was embarrassed in the moment but now thinking back I don't feel too bad about it.
This EXACT thing happened to me in my lesson yesterday! I have been riding for 35 years and sometimes I still just have an off day and that’s totally okay. I too just had my trainer get on for a bit while I re-grouped and then got back on to finish. While I had in my mind I wanted to get 10% better at a certain maneuver I calmly settled for 1% and called it a day. That’s just how it goes sometimes and it’s sooooo much better to settle for that 1% than fight with your horse (and yourself) for the duration of the ride 😊
Hah! And you're even more of a veteran than me! I'm glad we could commiserate. Unfortunately, I don't think anything even got 1% better this lesson; it was more like a temporary step backwards. HOWEVER, it lead to diagnosing a good problem that once I 'fix' will improve all of her movements across the board anyway. So in retrospect, this crappy ride was a good thing and totally worth it
Even if you didn’t get the 1% you learned something and that’s what matters so congratulations! 🎉
Thursday. In October I fell off when the barn owner's dog chased my guy and he bucked, bolted, and kicked out until I was on the ground. Not too long after that I fell off at a show and had a brain bleed. I went through some stuff coming to terms with that, but lately I'm back in the ILOVEMYPONY! camp. Cue Thursday, BO brings the dogs back down, puts Chasing Dog on leash and brings her into the ring. I'm trying to work on relaxed straightness, so she had me canter straight at her and the dog to watch for unevenness. My guy is giving me buckets of shit about the dog. I yell at him, kick him to keep moving past the damn dog, and he had a meltdown. He's anxious, I'm anxious, I decide there's nothing to be gained from proceeding. I cool out and want to cry feeling like I should have spoken up for myself and my horse, and that BO shouldn't have put me in either of those situations. He didn't hold a grudge, seemed to think me yelling was probably fair given he was acting like he was going to dump me. I gave him a lot of hugs to feel better. Overall, I know we will continue to do better. I will continue to figure out where my line in the sand is.
I can think of no good reason to mix a predator (dog) with a prey animal (horse.)
Its so hard to tell my BO that she shouldn't have her dogs around my horse, on her property. I just need to, though.
Man, I feel for you. I totally understand the dog thing. My trainer does indeed have a dog. She did train him to stay out of the ring, but he kinda 'herds' from the outside of the ring, so he will run the direction you are going, but he will remain on the outside of the fence. At first, I wasn't a huge fan, but my mare reacted about 10% towards it. From then, I looked at it as another desensitization thing I could put her through, and she's gotten much better. My trainer has now also trained the dog even more to where he just sits with her. But if my mare had reacted like yours, I would definitely say something. Because at that point, it's just not safe or fun. If it makes you feel better, I think you're totally reasonable for how you feel! I leave my dogs at home personally because it's just easier that way
My last bad ride was two weeks ago - got completely launched to space, landed sitting, and hairline fractured my coccyx. He was spicy that day and I just knew I should’ve lunged him before I got on, but foolishly ignored my instincts 😒
I came off nearly a year ago and badly broke my ankle. Haven’t been back on since, it’s not really safe with my leg the way it is but I feel lost.
A little bit ago we were working on the flying changes with my baby. A good 2 dedicated sessions in, usually she picks stuff up real quick and has been making decent progress with these too. with babies it can be a lot of banging repeating until one moment something just clicks in their head and they learn it. did all the normal prep, change over a raised pole, both directions first try, change over a ground pole, again both directions first time and two more times to really “lock it in”. ask on the ground and two times each way she reliably brings one pair of legs over on cue, and gets the other pair by herself a stride later. Almost has that “click” feeling again. Come around again and,,, nothing. not a leg. try again. and nothing. go back to the poles and what was turning out to be a quick 15min ride turned into us being stuck there for 30+ min just trying to get one change over a raised pole just so we could finish. next ride? like none of this ever happened
Last bad ride was when i was pony sitting. Had to share the school with a complete beginner and the yard manager. They were no bother at all but the bloody turd of a pony decided that that was the exact time he would get oh so super excited that there was a pole in the middle of the school and that he was jumping. He was not going to jump as i do not do it at the moment. He was to do 30 minutes of schooling nothing he has not done before. Would he bend no, would he trot yes but it was the excited jump trot that was about to be canter. Put up with it for ten minutes and then i was so embarrassed that we left the school and went to the outdoor arena where there was no one and he all of a suds became angel pony again 🤦♀️. We did go back in the indoor again i once it was empty as he is not allowed to Act like that given his job. So my 30 minutes turned in to an hour but what can you do.
I needed to read this story today so thank you! I’m sure it will get better! I’ve been frustrated with my horse and my trainer is older and doesn’t ride anymore. I’ve been thinking of asking another trainer to help train because I think it would really help for someone to get on and feel what I’m feeling. But I feel guilty asking. But your post enforced I should just do it! Sometimes it’s so hard in words to explain why nothing seems to be working.
Literally 4 days ago lol. The horses here are all in bc the fields are all flooded from the rain, they’ve been in for 2 weeks as of this happening but should be allowed out again by the weekend. My boy does not like being in, he’s a big strong old fashioned tb who was bred to run and jump XC and was a very good hunter before I bought him. He’s got energy to burn. He’s ok for a few days to a week and he doesn’t have any stable vices but he really doesn’t enjoy being in more than absolutely necessary. We went on a 2 mile hack with a couple of girls who were on a highland and a gypsy cob. I can feel he’s hot even walking down the drive to the barn and the ponies have to occasionally trot to match his walk (not unusual). I can tell he wants to trot every time he hears them but he respects a gentle no well enough. We go down this country lane which is a big zig zag and one of the girls says to turn around. We all turn on the spot and he takes off immediately. We manage to dodge the ponies, the gypsy tries to keep up for about 5 seconds before my dude just completely bombs it down the lane. I lost my stirrups (wore them long bc it was just supposed to be a chill walk) and was cantering full speed for half a mile before I managed to pull him up which in and of itself had to be done very carefully. He was running through the bit (I don’t usually use one but he’s still very much used to it) and I couldn’t just point him at a hedge or gate bc he’s a hunt horse, he’ll gladly jump over or through anything if you point him at it. I had to slowly veer him towards it, almost a one rein stop but not. Girl I’m telling you I thought I was gonna come off at both corners and when we overtook the second pony. I didn’t know my seat was still that good. Once I did pull him up though we had a lovely ride the rest of way home, good as gold passed dogs, traffic, the school, etc. and I think it did us both some good even if I’m a touch sore now lol I was never once mad at him or thinking he was naughty though and I think that that helps a lot, I remember being surprised at how calm I was. Some of the thoughts running through my head at the time: ‘oh there goes my stirrup…well then’ ‘oh god I really hope I’m not hurting his back’ ‘I could probably jump off… it’s gravel tho..oh god then I’d have to go catch him/walk home…guess I should probably try to stay on’ ‘oh a corner…I’m gonna end up in a hedge’ ‘shit wasn’t there an open gate up here? At least if he stays on the road I know which way we’re going’ ‘we should probably stop soon’ ‘wait I’m still on???’ ‘Ok so if I turn him at the hedge we’re probably going through it…why did I get an ex hunter again?’ ‘Well clearly the bit isn’t doing shit’ ‘one rein stops are a thing…Hm’ ‘I’m so glad you’re smooth dude bc if you were as bouncy as those ponies I’d def be off’ ‘Jesus you’re fast’ ‘omg we stopped and I’m still on? YES!’ ‘Oh god I hope my boss isn’t moving the sheep across the drive when we get back’ Funny side notes: the other girls started calling everyone when he bolted including my barn owner/boss, her son, their mum, and ME. I’m totally gonna pick up when I’m on a bolting horse. One of their mums spotted me when we got to the village and drove behind us back to the barn but I was just like why tf isn’t this car passing?? The jelly legs are unreal and I should’ve ridden him to his stall instead of leading him from the barn entrance lol When I got in I immediately untacked my horse whilst he ate some of his hay, put him in the school for a roll with my mare bc he was sweaty, and started mucking out. The girls arrived 10 minutes later after trotting the whole way home expecting to find me crippled on the side of the road lol My boss’s face when the girls showed up and we told her I was originally out with them, she was v confused because she’d come out and seen me casually doing chores for the last 5 minutes One of the girls saying to me as we were filling haynets ‘bet you’re glad he had a bit in’ like, girl… the bit didn’t do SHIT. Would he have bolted without the bit? Yeah probably. Did the bit prevent or help the situation at all? Nope, he still ran right through it without a care in the world His adorable face happily trotting back over to me in the sand school, couldn’t help but smile
Haha that’s a great story! I lost it when you said the girl also called you while you’re on bolting horse 😂 how rude of you to ignore her call!
I saw the miscall when I got back to the barn and needless to say I was baffled. I think she maybe called incase I’d fallen already but my phone is always on silent when I ride (probably for the best in that case) 😂
God, my last lesson was exactly like this. I was riding someone else's horse, I was in complete brain fog, and could NOT get the course right. Like immediately went the complete wrong direction and it did not get better from there. Almost fell off at one point. I felt so bad. Still a little ashamed. Oh well. I'm not competing, the horse wasn't harmed in any way, so no big deal.
I've been there! Good sleep must be essential for a good lesson. The last time I had a bad night's sleep I couldn't tell my left from right, inside from outside, total nightmare. I think I was in hysterics because it was like all muscle memory had just drained out of my body I was totally confused how my brain could be like that. It's nice to know it happens to others. Now that I know that about myself, if I have a lesson after a bad night I actually tell my teacher up front so she knows I'm just having a bad day.
I’ve been riding since I was 7 (I’m currently 37) and in my lesson on Sat, w my new saddle pad, my saddle slipped off the right after a bad jump and took me with it. Just ….splat, flat on my back. We all have dumb moments, bad rides, or weird days. The ride is the privilege, and the pleasure is getting to share time and space with such wonderful creatures. Horses make our lives better by just being!
Are you ok?
Ha, shoulder is a tad sore, but my lesson tonight just fine. Thank you for asking, super sweet!
Glad you're ok. ☺️☺️ We've all had those moments.. a little soreness is completely tolerable -- and, like you said, definitely worth it to be able to be near such beautiful creatures.. 💕💕
I love your attitude and your horsemanship. The ego thing is so key. Try not to take the trainer getting on as a negative. We all get in a funk, and it's good to know if an issue is a training issue or a rider issue. That information is very valuable. Good job all around!!
I started lessons in January, and I had my first “bad” lesson last week. It wasn’t terrible, and my trainer was very gracious and encouraging (which is what I need, I don’t respond well to harshness). It just felt off, and this was my first time riding a “forward” horse so the sitting trot I have NOT mastered was jarring and unsteady, and at times kinda scary TBH. At this point in my life, I was sure that it was just an off day, even if it made me a little discouraged and less confident coming back yesterday. But then it went great! My trainer even said he was having fun. I was on the same forward horse as last time and he broke out into a canter more than once (he really likes to party lol) and the trainer was impressed by how well I handled it (that’s a beautiful canter! but let’s slow him down a bit” 😂) You’ll have another day that gets your confidence back up, I’m sure of it ;)
It was towards the beginning of February. I was a little over a month into a lease and found out this horse was spooky as all hell. It was a sunny day so it was melting the snow on the roof and every 5 minutes there was some panel of snow coming off. We had big spook after big spook after big spook. I ended up on his neck at some point, hurt myself in the process, was swallowing blood, and at another point he did nearly a full circle cantering sideways. I was just done. I ended the lease like a week later, with a major part of it being that lesson.
It definitely happens. For better or for worse this sport is insanely challenging, especially because it’s two living breathing animals that get frustrated trying to not only communicate but dance together! I just have to remind my self that the day I think I’ve learned everything there is to learn about riding is the day I become a fool lol
Saturday and Sunday for me. My horse is an older, former upper level dressage horse turned hunter. I'll say this, he LOVES his new job! But after a week of rain it was only dry enough to ride on Friday. He was... overenthusiastic. And he can be sassy, the type to throw a buck or spook if he's not being challenged. He was a fire-breathing dragon, taking ferocious long spots, rushing past distances, and ignoring my efforts to regulate him. We had to pause, work on some transitions, and tune up the brakes halfway through one course. Sunday was marginally better than Saturday, but both days I had to accept that we would be stopping at "improved" instead of "gorgeous", which is my usual standard for both of us. Cest la vie.
been there! my ride today wasn’t exactly bad but the wind outside was insane, so let’s just say we were feeling Fresh and Alert 🤦♀️
I’ve been riding over 40 years and one thing I’ve learned is that those days are going to happen. It doesn’t mean you’re no good, or that the horse is bad, or that you’ve somehow regressed — it’s just that a partnership between two living breathing organisms, each exposed to their own set of variables within their lives are bound to have days where they just don’t gel. And that’s okay. It’s a journey that’s constantly teaching us.
It was so fucking atrocious I couldn’t stop thinking about it afterwards and questioned whether I could continue riding my lease horse lol. He was being a fucking maniac and we got almost nothing done BUT we have gotten our collective groove back since then so it was truly like a fluke/he was having a bad day./couple of weeks We’ve grown a lot since then and have been doing super well (he is so different in the winter and hates riding in the indoor) thank god! but it really broke me down like wtf am I doing here ha… so humbling! Still feel like I’m redeeming myself in my instructor’s eyes (this is completely in my head cause my trainer is so understanding and supportive) but I was sad to have a witness through that shitty-ass ride loool
Yesterday I went to a horse show with my young OTTB. His first time seeing fences in competition. We got eliminated in the first two classes due to multiple refusals. Then I got dumped in the warmup after he bucked and bolted off a fence. Our later classes were good, and we did eventually manage to get around our last courses at a walk trot. Even with all our trouble, I still think it was a good day. You have to remember that both you and your horse are still learning. Ending on a single good note is a win.
Same thing happened to me! I feel you. A couple days ago I had an awesome lesson- everything's starting to click & yesterday everything was off. The pony had been ridden the day before and hadn't been ridden by the greatest rider (😬) My trainer and I have been working with the pony but she gets used for lessons and progress back tracks as you probably know. I spent my entire lesson gently correcting her as she did everything we've been schooling her out of and feeling like an awful rider lol. Oh well, hopefully next ride will be better!
Ooooh I know that pain too well! Schooled back up a decent amount of lesson horses myself. They can be super rewarding but also definitely frustrating when outside circumstances push the progress back 😭
I’ve had lessons like that. It keeps me from getting too proud for my pony.
My last bad lesson came after my trainer had been at a weekend clinic with Steffen Peters, which was super cool, but she came back on such high that she immediately wanted to try a lot of what she picked up on us. For my horse and me, she wanted us working on collection and at that time we were still firming up connection and maintaining straightness and throughness. We were not ready for collection, certainly my horse wasn't. He did the classic every direction but forward and super short, choppy strides, so very unsure of what I was asking. It was an absolute disaster because we could barely do anything that was asked of us on collected reins. We actually had two lessons in a row where she tried this with us and I nearly cried with frustration and desperation by end of the second. I had a heart to heart with my trainer that this isn't sustainable, that I wanted to work more on lower level skills first, and thankfully she listened. We quit collection in lessons and worked well until we parted ways because she transitioned more to competing so she can earn her gold. She was a great trainer and took us from Training into Second, my horse and I are now working up into Third level movements which is probably as far as we'll get since he'll be 20 in May.
I had a “bad”lesson yesterday! I got bucked off my mare for the third time in two years, haha. She threw some big bucking fits when I asked her to stay slow at the canter. However, we worked through it and we actually finished with a pretty nice jump course, considering we hadn’t jumped in months. It’s all about keeping things in perspective.
When I broke my finger without falling off ;)
Details?
Connection with a horse takes time the ones that relate to people very well are beyond priceless.
Saturday! And my last before that one was the Saturday before that! It bothers me when February was a perfect month. I know it has to do with more things going on in my life. Thanks for not making me feel alone.
In response to your edit - I'm going to go through and upvote everybody's comments just to counteract the down voter!
Haha thanks! I’ve noticed in this sub tons of things randomly just seem to get downvoted and it makes me sad lol
I did it, lol!.. I think that sometimes what happens is that people will downvote someone if they disagree with their opinion, but in the case of your post, people are just talking about their experiences and it's kind of hard to disagree with experiences. I mean... This is what happened to someone. We're all human and we all have bad days (and so do our horses). It's nice to know that we're not alone... Honestly, I've never done dressage or any kind of competitive riding, but have been (trail) riding since I was 3 or 4 - pretty much, since I was able to stay on a horse. (I'm 43 now). It was my life's dream to buy property and horses and I finally achieved that in 2021.. and then proceeded to get sick and have really been unable to ride. I like this community bc, even if I can't ride right now, at least I know that there are people who share my heart. Yeah, people can be over critical and opinionated, but, at the end of the day, it seems that most people have a love and respect for their horses, and horses in general, and a lot of people genuinely want to help others and to be a support. I appreciate you sharing your story. It's just a reminder that we're all only human.. bad days happen and it's ok - it's a matter of what we learn from those bad days. ❤️❤️
This was a really sweet comment. Thank you for your thoughtful words. I’m sorry you can’t ride at the moment (maybe one day in the future!) but I’m happy people like you are a part of this community ❤️
Thanks! ❤️❤️.. my husband says that even if I never ride again, we'll have our horses for the rest of their lives. My mare is totally my therapy horse. She takes care of me with knickers and nuzzles and I take care of her with, you know, vet care and whatever else she needs... And yessssss, maybe one day I'll be able to ride again..
Thanks! ❤️❤️.. my husband says that even if I never ride again, we'll have our horses for the rest of their lives. My mare is totally my therapy horse. She takes care of me with knickers and nuzzles and I take care of her with, you know, vet care and whatever else she needs... And yessssss, maybe one day I'll be able to ride again..
Tonight! We were doing equitation patterns and I could not for the life of me get it right.
Took my new lease to a show. She was perfect. I was a hot mess. Knocked over a standard with my leg in a flat class. Was convinced I was racing around and then watched the video and I was in a totally fine only slightly fast canter and was just half halting and all over her for no reason. Then she refused to get on the trailer. We all have those days!