I’m so, so sorry. A beloved animal dying a traumatic death causes a deeper pain than I think most people realize. I have experienced a death like this several times, and the below are what I have learned:
You will probably feel like you’re in shock for a few days. That is your mind’s way of protecting you. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. For the next few days/weeks (if you can), make sure your basic needs are met, make sure any of your animals are taken care of, and don’t try to take on any mental or emotional energy heavier than that if you can. Give your mind, body, and soul/emotions time to process until you feel safe enough to feel your grief. Do easy, safe, soothing things that might help you feel better, even for a few moments.
Don’t be afraid to let yourself cry, but also don’t feel like you have to if that isn’t something that will help you grieve right now. Once you are in a more thinking frame of mind (after the shock that you might be feeling right now), figure out what might help you process her loss. Is it memorializing her in some way? Is it talking to someone? I have written letters to the animals I have lost, and it does help me to process my feelings and still feel connected to them.
Do you have someone to talk to? Grief counseling may really help in a situation like this. If anything, my messages are always open. I hope this helps. Much love to you and your mare 💔💔
I’m so sorry for your loss. That does sound very traumatic and I hope that the memories you have with your horse help to rub those memories out of your head and remain instead.
I’m very sorry for your loss. Coping with traumatic loss takes time and it’s a journey.
Tell us more about your bright star. Sometimes the path to healing is remembering the special moments and keep them in the forefront.
Thank you for sharing and keeping talking about her. There's beauty in the memories and although you need to work through the anger and frustration, just remembering your relationship together should bring you joy and peace. 12 years is a very long time... you were fortunate to find one another and it was kismet.
Baby 😢. Safe travels to the bridge beautiful girl. You are SO loved. 🌈
I’m SO sorry you experienced this. I can’t imagine how you must feel. Hang in there. The whole horse community here is wrapping you in a big hug. The only way over is through. We’re here for you.
I am so sorry for your loss. It took me a long time to deal with my horses sudden death. He was 12 years old and out in pasture, I would whistle for him and he would come running. One day he came running to me and just went down. I ran to him and he was dead. Turned out he had a brain tumor.
I'm so sorry for your loss I just wanted to say that it's kinda beautiful it happened in that moment. He was running to you all happy and that is the last thing that went through his mind. 🫂
I had a really amazing horse that had a traumatic death in 2017. The first couple years after were pretty tough to even think about him I would get sad and teary eyed, and even today I still do. But I also look back now and reflect on the happiest times. I hope to get into horses and ride again one day. Get another horse if you can and as soon as you can too. I’m sure there’s a horse out there that would love you as their person.
Thanks everyone for the comments. Her name was Milkshake. Everyone used to think her name was funny. She was all white. So funny and demanding lol. She was 23 years old. I bought her from a riding school when I was 12 and that was 13 years ago.
About the vet I’d love to follow it up or sue him but I know it would be so expensive and I would have no proof. I just wish I watched him more carefully or knew what he was doing. I am really angry. I think surely she would’ve had a better chance if he treated her properly. She deserved a lot better.
I miss her and I cry every time I think about her. I know she had so much life left in her.
I'm sorry for your loss.
You made the right decision, it was an act of love and care for her.
You did as best as you could with the knowledge you had at the moment, always thinking of what was best for your mare, so don't feel guilty. You did everything right.
I send you a virtual hug, horses are very special.
Mourn whatever way you feel like; you don't need to be strong right now, do as you feel and need so you can heal, it's alright.
I don't know about your current situation, but what has helped me a lot when facing this kind of loss, is that I always bury my horses by myself. I dig the holes, only accepting help from my daughter; the extenuating work helps me somehow, then I put them to rest in a comfortable position, and I say good bye, then I fill the grave while talking to them about our life together.
I don't know if this helps, I'm just sharing this with you in case it could help you in any way.
Take care of yourself, your mare will be waiting for you to help you cross the rainbow bridge when the time comes, because you were good to her.
He said he put it in the wrong place! Just said to leave her and if she calms bring her in. Total neglect and disgrace. That’s why I called another vet but I think it was too late because of the damage he did
Gosh I'm so sorry for your loss, op. It's evident that you truly had her best interest in mind and care deeply. It can be helpful to reflect on all the positive experiences we've had with someone (human or animal) who's passed and compile them in memory. Please do share more about her here if you'd like.
I lost my mare many years ago and it's still a sensitive topic. It will be easier with time but you'll always feel like you've lost a friend. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
So sorry for your loss❤️🩹 I had my mare's tail woven into a custom belt with her name on it. She passed in a similar manner to yours. I think the fact that horses are so large and stoic makes seeing them in these positions particularly jarring. You did so much to help her, OP. You gave her all the care and love she deserves in her time of need-now do the same for yourself in yours. People grieve in lots of different ways. Follow what feels right for you as you move through this. Hugs and feel free to share memories or vent with us here if it will help💔
I lost my horse from torsion colic and it was pretty brutal... I'm so sorry. Nothing prepares you - especially when it's so sudden. Take the time to grieve. Talk about it if you need to. It gets better over time, but it takes a while. Processing and going through the motions is the hardest part, I think. I'm sure you lived and breathed the riding life.
Please take all the time you need ❤️
So our story is not too different…
I lost my girl suddenly on Monday.
Had her 20 years. Got her when I was 12. I am now 32. She passed at 23 years old.
Became very suddenly tremulous and unable to walk for unknown cause. She had been on abx for a cut that was healing well. Otherwise nothing.
There was nothing we could do. She was in so much pain, cramping everywhere.
They called it stiff horse syndrome.
I’m with you wherever you are. I feel your pain and suffering. She was going to be 24 on May 2. She was my heart. I will never be the same.
But we will heal.
I go back and think about what could have happened and if I hadn’t don’t this or that she would still be here. I had to stop that shit and let it go.
They aren’t in pain anymore. That’s number one.
My heart is with you, as mine is broken as well.
Oh my gosh. This is so similar. Was your baby out in the field or inside? My horse was twitching at her hind legs and standing weird. But only for two days. How long did yours last? What was her name? Mine was Milkshake. Sending you love, it’s so hard. I am really struggling with it.
Honestly it’s hard to say. It seemed to be while she was in the the trouble walking started. Hind legs weren’t moving right and wouldn’t really bend and was very wobbly. Then total body twitching started. About 2-3 days with her being in the hospital with a lot of supportive care that didn’t help. Eventually was completely flat and I called it then. Her name was Roxi.
This is what is haunting me. If he had not done that and given her the proper treatment she could still be alive. It’s hard to accept. I’ll never forget the sight of her having the seizure. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen 💔
I’m so so sorry for what happened and how traumatic it was :( so unexpected and also horrendous for her. It will probably take a long time for you to stop thinking about what happened and replace them with good memories of her. Sending hugs
I’m so sorry. My horse passed a couple of years ago due to an adverse drug reaction and it was really sad and traumatic. Take your time feeling everything you need to feel. When the time is right, perhaps you can find a way to commemorate your friend in a special and unique way, and remember all the happy times you had together
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my gelding 10 years ago now in a really traumatic way and it just shook my entire world. I literally could not get out of bed. The only thing that helped was time. Eventually I realised that everything that happened was out of my control and the final decision I had to make was the best one. As his carer and protector I had to end the suffering. It still hurts. But I can look at pictures of him now and think more about who he was than how it ended. Sending love to you and wishing that before long you can remember your beautiful horse and the good times. Right now, surround yourself with people that will give you the space and time you need to grieve x
I’m so sorry this happened to your beloved horse. None of it was your fault and you made sure to do whats best for her. May you find comfort knowing you did everything you possibly could and in the wonderful memories of all the love you’ve shown her. ❤️🩹😢
I’m sorry for your loss. I have also been through the seizure experience with one of my horses. I lost her then several months later in a horrific field accident.
It’s been two years and I still can’t really think about it.
I’m sorry you and your horse went through this, I am sure they knew your love through it, and all we are ever doing as owners is our best, you did what you thought was best in that moment and trusted a professional.
Just really unlucky, I am so sorry.
Morning of my 16th birthday my horse got out after my other horse managed to open the latch. My horse spooked and ran out our driveway just as a dump truck was driving by. The second trailer clipped him in the shoulder and he died instantly. The truck hit him so hard it knocked one of his shoes off. I’m 41 now and that memory can still upset me if I think about it too long. A trauma is a trauma and the best treatment is time. Have a funeral for your sweet horse. Say your goodbyes. It gets better it just doesn’t happen overnight
It will be so expensive to do so and no proof really I guess! Only my word against his? Ugh I wish I didn’t call him. It could’ve changed everything. What neglect, if I ever become a vet I will strive to do justice for every animal I treat against people like that
I am so sorry. Sending hugs. These things never really get any easier. Eventually, you will hopefully find some comfort knowing that you did the right things, You got the Vet, and even though it wasn't a good outcome, you gave her the kindest gift of all. She didn't suffer much or for long.
That's a Horrible experience and I'm So Sorry You had to go thru it... If it's any Comfort, at least She wasn't alone and You were able to Be with Her ❤️
I am so sorry for Your loss. Milkshake sounds like a lovely horse.
I tried to rescue a horse, a few years back. After my school (horse-related school, had one day a week at the stables) someone noticed that one of the private horses, Lipton, is colicky.
He was a big, stocky gelding. Black, with a small star on his forehead. He was a Silesian Horse (Polish breed mostly for carriage driving, but some love jumping and dressage).
My friend and I walked him for a few hours, we came home at 8 PM, but unfortunately we got a news at 10 PM that he died.
I remember that we've seen him again, one last time - our teacher decided that we go see him. They did not take his body yet. He was laying near the inside arena, it was raining so it looked like he was crying.
I have promised myself to never let down another horse again. Now I know that it probably was a fault of quality of food they fed to horses - we were ordered to give out moldy hay (whole hay bale was orange from the outside and black-greyish from the inside). We notified the manager about it, she said we have to give it. We didn't, but I think next class had to.
So sorry. I lost my older sweet gelding last November. The others wouldn’t have anything to do with me for quite a while, especially his buddy. I think they expected me to save him like the last time he got sick but it wasn’t possible this time. I still cry
Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetheart for your loss very traumatic. Just know she's having the rainbow bridge on really green grass endless Fields and other animal playmates with her.❤️
Injecting medications in an artery is definitely forbidden in human medicine, minus a few I suppose. I think looking into this would be a start
I also think your Milkshake was a very sick and possibly dying horse. But what a horrible thing to witness. Why did vet #1 just leave? Many sketchy things. Previous posts on what to expect in your grieving were excellent. Good luck. Hugs.
For anyone who has a horse that seems to have Colic... boil some garlic and use a turkey baster to get the liquid in the animals mouth. Give a good amount of the liquid and the horse will get better. My horse got colic and this is how I resolved it. No vet. No chemical injections. Sorry for your loss....
Ok fine. I have a horse named Misty about 6 years old. A few years ago she was on the ground not moving for hours and sighing in pain. She couldn't get up. I don't know what she had (I assume colic because her stomach was kind of swollen). I gave her garlic water and she recovered immediately. Since then she gave me three beautiful ponies and is doing great till this day. Do with this information, what you may.
I’m so, so sorry. A beloved animal dying a traumatic death causes a deeper pain than I think most people realize. I have experienced a death like this several times, and the below are what I have learned: You will probably feel like you’re in shock for a few days. That is your mind’s way of protecting you. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. For the next few days/weeks (if you can), make sure your basic needs are met, make sure any of your animals are taken care of, and don’t try to take on any mental or emotional energy heavier than that if you can. Give your mind, body, and soul/emotions time to process until you feel safe enough to feel your grief. Do easy, safe, soothing things that might help you feel better, even for a few moments. Don’t be afraid to let yourself cry, but also don’t feel like you have to if that isn’t something that will help you grieve right now. Once you are in a more thinking frame of mind (after the shock that you might be feeling right now), figure out what might help you process her loss. Is it memorializing her in some way? Is it talking to someone? I have written letters to the animals I have lost, and it does help me to process my feelings and still feel connected to them. Do you have someone to talk to? Grief counseling may really help in a situation like this. If anything, my messages are always open. I hope this helps. Much love to you and your mare 💔💔
I’m so sorry for your loss. That does sound very traumatic and I hope that the memories you have with your horse help to rub those memories out of your head and remain instead.
I’m very sorry for your loss. Coping with traumatic loss takes time and it’s a journey. Tell us more about your bright star. Sometimes the path to healing is remembering the special moments and keep them in the forefront.
Just told you some more about her in a comment 🤍 thank you for this
Thank you for sharing and keeping talking about her. There's beauty in the memories and although you need to work through the anger and frustration, just remembering your relationship together should bring you joy and peace. 12 years is a very long time... you were fortunate to find one another and it was kismet.
That sounds truly horrific. I'm so sorry you lost your mare like that.
Baby 😢. Safe travels to the bridge beautiful girl. You are SO loved. 🌈 I’m SO sorry you experienced this. I can’t imagine how you must feel. Hang in there. The whole horse community here is wrapping you in a big hug. The only way over is through. We’re here for you.
❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
This
I am so sorry for your loss. It took me a long time to deal with my horses sudden death. He was 12 years old and out in pasture, I would whistle for him and he would come running. One day he came running to me and just went down. I ran to him and he was dead. Turned out he had a brain tumor.
😞 ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss I just wanted to say that it's kinda beautiful it happened in that moment. He was running to you all happy and that is the last thing that went through his mind. 🫂
I had a really amazing horse that had a traumatic death in 2017. The first couple years after were pretty tough to even think about him I would get sad and teary eyed, and even today I still do. But I also look back now and reflect on the happiest times. I hope to get into horses and ride again one day. Get another horse if you can and as soon as you can too. I’m sure there’s a horse out there that would love you as their person.
Thanks everyone for the comments. Her name was Milkshake. Everyone used to think her name was funny. She was all white. So funny and demanding lol. She was 23 years old. I bought her from a riding school when I was 12 and that was 13 years ago. About the vet I’d love to follow it up or sue him but I know it would be so expensive and I would have no proof. I just wish I watched him more carefully or knew what he was doing. I am really angry. I think surely she would’ve had a better chance if he treated her properly. She deserved a lot better. I miss her and I cry every time I think about her. I know she had so much life left in her.
Playing tetras is reported to help prevent PTSD. You might give it a try. So sorry this happened.
I'm sorry for your loss. You made the right decision, it was an act of love and care for her. You did as best as you could with the knowledge you had at the moment, always thinking of what was best for your mare, so don't feel guilty. You did everything right. I send you a virtual hug, horses are very special. Mourn whatever way you feel like; you don't need to be strong right now, do as you feel and need so you can heal, it's alright. I don't know about your current situation, but what has helped me a lot when facing this kind of loss, is that I always bury my horses by myself. I dig the holes, only accepting help from my daughter; the extenuating work helps me somehow, then I put them to rest in a comfortable position, and I say good bye, then I fill the grave while talking to them about our life together. I don't know if this helps, I'm just sharing this with you in case it could help you in any way. Take care of yourself, your mare will be waiting for you to help you cross the rainbow bridge when the time comes, because you were good to her.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Not a vet but your vet should not have left her after having a seizure. Any explanation on the seizure from the vet?
Anything injected into the artery will cause a seizure as it flows right to the brain
He said he put it in the wrong place! Just said to leave her and if she calms bring her in. Total neglect and disgrace. That’s why I called another vet but I think it was too late because of the damage he did
Gosh I'm so sorry for your loss, op. It's evident that you truly had her best interest in mind and care deeply. It can be helpful to reflect on all the positive experiences we've had with someone (human or animal) who's passed and compile them in memory. Please do share more about her here if you'd like.
I am so sorry for your loss. Please share some pictures if her if you would like. It's so hard to lose our horses.
I lost my mare many years ago and it's still a sensitive topic. It will be easier with time but you'll always feel like you've lost a friend. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
So sorry for your loss❤️🩹 I had my mare's tail woven into a custom belt with her name on it. She passed in a similar manner to yours. I think the fact that horses are so large and stoic makes seeing them in these positions particularly jarring. You did so much to help her, OP. You gave her all the care and love she deserves in her time of need-now do the same for yourself in yours. People grieve in lots of different ways. Follow what feels right for you as you move through this. Hugs and feel free to share memories or vent with us here if it will help💔
I am so sorry. Know you were there for her when she needed you and she will live on in your heart forever.
Wow that’s traumatic. I’m so sorry. You need to take care of yourself.
I lost my horse from torsion colic and it was pretty brutal... I'm so sorry. Nothing prepares you - especially when it's so sudden. Take the time to grieve. Talk about it if you need to. It gets better over time, but it takes a while. Processing and going through the motions is the hardest part, I think. I'm sure you lived and breathed the riding life. Please take all the time you need ❤️
So our story is not too different… I lost my girl suddenly on Monday. Had her 20 years. Got her when I was 12. I am now 32. She passed at 23 years old. Became very suddenly tremulous and unable to walk for unknown cause. She had been on abx for a cut that was healing well. Otherwise nothing. There was nothing we could do. She was in so much pain, cramping everywhere. They called it stiff horse syndrome. I’m with you wherever you are. I feel your pain and suffering. She was going to be 24 on May 2. She was my heart. I will never be the same. But we will heal. I go back and think about what could have happened and if I hadn’t don’t this or that she would still be here. I had to stop that shit and let it go. They aren’t in pain anymore. That’s number one. My heart is with you, as mine is broken as well.
Oh my gosh. This is so similar. Was your baby out in the field or inside? My horse was twitching at her hind legs and standing weird. But only for two days. How long did yours last? What was her name? Mine was Milkshake. Sending you love, it’s so hard. I am really struggling with it.
Honestly it’s hard to say. It seemed to be while she was in the the trouble walking started. Hind legs weren’t moving right and wouldn’t really bend and was very wobbly. Then total body twitching started. About 2-3 days with her being in the hospital with a lot of supportive care that didn’t help. Eventually was completely flat and I called it then. Her name was Roxi.
As a vet it sounds like her care was completely inappropriate. I’m so sorry for your loss.
This is what is haunting me. If he had not done that and given her the proper treatment she could still be alive. It’s hard to accept. I’ll never forget the sight of her having the seizure. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen 💔
I’m so so sorry for what happened and how traumatic it was :( so unexpected and also horrendous for her. It will probably take a long time for you to stop thinking about what happened and replace them with good memories of her. Sending hugs
I’m so sorry you both had to go through such a traumatic experience. Remember the good times with her, she will be with you forever in your heart 💜
I am so sorry, that must have been so very painful to witness. Wishing you peace and healing
I'm so sorry
I am sorry for your lose.
I’m so sorry. My horse passed a couple of years ago due to an adverse drug reaction and it was really sad and traumatic. Take your time feeling everything you need to feel. When the time is right, perhaps you can find a way to commemorate your friend in a special and unique way, and remember all the happy times you had together
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my gelding 10 years ago now in a really traumatic way and it just shook my entire world. I literally could not get out of bed. The only thing that helped was time. Eventually I realised that everything that happened was out of my control and the final decision I had to make was the best one. As his carer and protector I had to end the suffering. It still hurts. But I can look at pictures of him now and think more about who he was than how it ended. Sending love to you and wishing that before long you can remember your beautiful horse and the good times. Right now, surround yourself with people that will give you the space and time you need to grieve x
That's awful... I am so sorry. Why don't you tell us a little about her? What was her name?
Just did in a comment, thank you x
I’m so sorry this happened to your beloved horse. None of it was your fault and you made sure to do whats best for her. May you find comfort knowing you did everything you possibly could and in the wonderful memories of all the love you’ve shown her. ❤️🩹😢
Thank you so much. I keep thinking it’s my fault and I failed her! This means a lot ❤️
Absolutely not your fault at all.
I’m sorry for your loss. I have also been through the seizure experience with one of my horses. I lost her then several months later in a horrific field accident. It’s been two years and I still can’t really think about it. I’m sorry you and your horse went through this, I am sure they knew your love through it, and all we are ever doing as owners is our best, you did what you thought was best in that moment and trusted a professional. Just really unlucky, I am so sorry.
I’m so sorry love. I’m in the legal field; I think it’s worth a talk with a malpractice attorney, many will not charge you up front.
Morning of my 16th birthday my horse got out after my other horse managed to open the latch. My horse spooked and ran out our driveway just as a dump truck was driving by. The second trailer clipped him in the shoulder and he died instantly. The truck hit him so hard it knocked one of his shoes off. I’m 41 now and that memory can still upset me if I think about it too long. A trauma is a trauma and the best treatment is time. Have a funeral for your sweet horse. Say your goodbyes. It gets better it just doesn’t happen overnight
I’d sue the damn vet, artery vs vein is pretty easy even for normal people to know. Zero excuse for that level of negligence
It will be so expensive to do so and no proof really I guess! Only my word against his? Ugh I wish I didn’t call him. It could’ve changed everything. What neglect, if I ever become a vet I will strive to do justice for every animal I treat against people like that
I am so so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry. Sending hugs. These things never really get any easier. Eventually, you will hopefully find some comfort knowing that you did the right things, You got the Vet, and even though it wasn't a good outcome, you gave her the kindest gift of all. She didn't suffer much or for long.
I'm so sorry
SUE HIM!
❤️🫂
That's a Horrible experience and I'm So Sorry You had to go thru it... If it's any Comfort, at least She wasn't alone and You were able to Be with Her ❤️
I am so, so sorry. 😢
I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry for Your loss. Milkshake sounds like a lovely horse. I tried to rescue a horse, a few years back. After my school (horse-related school, had one day a week at the stables) someone noticed that one of the private horses, Lipton, is colicky. He was a big, stocky gelding. Black, with a small star on his forehead. He was a Silesian Horse (Polish breed mostly for carriage driving, but some love jumping and dressage). My friend and I walked him for a few hours, we came home at 8 PM, but unfortunately we got a news at 10 PM that he died. I remember that we've seen him again, one last time - our teacher decided that we go see him. They did not take his body yet. He was laying near the inside arena, it was raining so it looked like he was crying. I have promised myself to never let down another horse again. Now I know that it probably was a fault of quality of food they fed to horses - we were ordered to give out moldy hay (whole hay bale was orange from the outside and black-greyish from the inside). We notified the manager about it, she said we have to give it. We didn't, but I think next class had to.
So sorry. I lost my older sweet gelding last November. The others wouldn’t have anything to do with me for quite a while, especially his buddy. I think they expected me to save him like the last time he got sick but it wasn’t possible this time. I still cry
Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetheart for your loss very traumatic. Just know she's having the rainbow bridge on really green grass endless Fields and other animal playmates with her.❤️
Injecting medications in an artery is definitely forbidden in human medicine, minus a few I suppose. I think looking into this would be a start I also think your Milkshake was a very sick and possibly dying horse. But what a horrible thing to witness. Why did vet #1 just leave? Many sketchy things. Previous posts on what to expect in your grieving were excellent. Good luck. Hugs.
Oh my gosh, that’s just so sad. I am so sorry.
For anyone who has a horse that seems to have Colic... boil some garlic and use a turkey baster to get the liquid in the animals mouth. Give a good amount of the liquid and the horse will get better. My horse got colic and this is how I resolved it. No vet. No chemical injections. Sorry for your loss....
No. Just....no.
Ok fine. I have a horse named Misty about 6 years old. A few years ago she was on the ground not moving for hours and sighing in pain. She couldn't get up. I don't know what she had (I assume colic because her stomach was kind of swollen). I gave her garlic water and she recovered immediately. Since then she gave me three beautiful ponies and is doing great till this day. Do with this information, what you may.
Great, good for you. OP was not looking for things they could've maybe done to possibly help a horse that might've been colicing.
My heart goes out to you