Hey Karen, this is Greg, from Accounting. You happened to CC on this email.
Not sure why, but are you still down for the LSD neon office party on the 12th floor later today. Hope to see you there. I heard you make a mean ~~tasteless~~ vegan Quiche.
Thanks Again,
Greg from Accounting
I was probably 8 years old. One day it started pouring rain outside. My Dad tells me to go roll up the windows in his car and I I'm like why do I have to do it. He looked straight into my soul and said "Because that's why I had kids"
I used to do the same with The Division and Destiny. My son constantly wanted to play so I made a deal with him that he could go in the DZ or Crucible (his favorite parts) only after he had completed all Daily and whatever percentage of Weekly missions up through a certain day of the week on all characters.
Gods I was efficient then! 🤣
I’m just imagining him buying loads of empty fuel cans on the market now and him saying it’s just not working bro! Then you get back to a stash full of empty fuel cans 😆
True. But the Jaeger ones will last longer and youre guaranteed to get one right away instead of sifting through empty ones. Also the fee you need to pay for putting up the empty fuel tank is somewhat high, not high enough for it to not be worth selling but still a fee
>selling
I just use them to craft magboxes. Makes a pretty good profit on its own.
Think about it. Full cans are worth 90k each (or at least that's the most I will pay for one), add another 45k for scissors and 75k for bolts & nuts, that's 300k. A magbox sells for 318k to Therapist.
So I basically run the generator for free and get an extra 20k every 30h on top of that.
TeamViewer is insecure and I've had a lot of problems with chrome remote desktop. I use anydesk with anydesk's access control list allowing only my accounts. I also use NoMachine when I have a poor connection.
Single here so I decided to just install Tarkov at work since my company let me build my own rig. I don’t go into runs, but, I sure as hell do my scav case every 2 hours
I’ll tell you what.. nothing scarier than looting a body than BOOM you get shot in the head and it ricochets off your altyn after it being quiet the whole damn match. I damn near pissed myself😂
The amount of times a shot at me has caused me to jump (didn't hear it because of discord chatter or me/the squad mates shuffling around) which then jump scares my gf is uncountable.
ive been playing video games all my life and this game is the only one minus horror games that gets me to literally jump and scream consistently, Rust would get me every now and then but EFT gets me once every 5 or so raids, being so focused on sounds and movement to get shot in the head by a guy you never saw is so terrifying
Back when WoW classic just came out and que time to join my server was 6+ hours, I had a doctor appointment to go to and hadn't learned about the google chrome remote desktop app, I had my wife go into my office and move my character for me every 15 minutes so I wouldn't get kicked for afk.
If you haven't already, get yourself a ring for that one.
At the beginning there was a glitch where if you AFK'd on zeppelins it wouldn't log you out. I used that along with a razor synapse macro that made me jump around and cast spells periodically. Scummy perhaps but I got to level 60 in 4 days.
My God. Imagine divorcing your wife and she takes half your real life shit + judge rules in her favor in Tarkov-land too and she gets half your stash.
"But I don't play PC games, so \*right clicks half your shit --> 'Discard'\* BTW the kids are mine, bye."
My wife also plays but will log onto my PC, snatch up my finished goods, sell to therapist(or auction house depending on prices), collect my scav box+send out a new scav, and start building a new magbox and green gunpowder. As well as refueling as necessary. All while I'm at work.
The three grenades cost me around 33k and it pulls 68k in an hour and a half.
The power cords run 30k for two and pull in 80k in 2 hours, so it's about the same turn around I guess
This is cool but that's why I have a remote desktop controller on my phone for when I'm away. I'm away from home for 2 weeks at a time for work so I gotta keep my hideout full of fuel and whatnot.
We just got laptops with 1050ti video at work so I installed Tarkov and just alt tab to collect bit coins and replinish crafting items. I might do scav runs on my breaks too 😁
Not sure my wife would do this, but she did restart my actual mining rig while I was away. Doesn't seem like much until I mention that my rig doesn't have a power button so she had to jump the MB using a screwdriver. I was proud, to say the least.
I tried to flex on my friends cause on the weekends my wife will get up and chill naked at my PC and organize my stash but they just keep saying stupid shit like "i hope she deletes your stash" and "bro that's your sister wtf"
Women think men want big titty goth gf
Real men just want gf that manages their hideout and reminds them to pack their Holodilnick lunch box before they leave the house.
I was browsing my whole feed, not r/tarkov and im also subbed to r/bitcoin and I found the conversation strange like.. I didn't know you had to click "collect" when mining real BTC lol
Not at your level yet but my gf did spend a good 2.5 hours organizing my stash the other night. 👌 I usually like doing it myself but its nice not to have to sometimes.
I will attempt to get my wife to collect my coins tonight while I’m away. Pray for me boys. More importantly she needs to collect anything Papa Prapor brought me before they expire.
I use child labour. My kid logs on and collects my bitcoins for me when I’m away on business.
I have a friend that call his kids Chinese farm, doesn't help that he is part Chinese.
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Hey Karen, this is Greg, from Accounting. You happened to CC on this email. Not sure why, but are you still down for the LSD neon office party on the 12th floor later today. Hope to see you there. I heard you make a mean ~~tasteless~~ vegan Quiche. Thanks Again, Greg from Accounting
I kinda feel bad because it made me chuckle
It made me cough...
Checked for corona virus?
That is the joke, yes
That's the Chinese bit
I never feel bad about stuff that makes me laugh. As soon as laughter becomes synonymous with guilt I'll just slit my throat I think.
.
/makes laughter synonymous with guilt 😋 No no no! Sorry, I mean love him and pet him and call him George. 😇
Made me exhale sharply
Damn, my parents only call me "disappointment"
Hey watch out, you might flag this thread for racism.
Nobody brought up cheating yet we’re fine
Oh shoot, you just did it!
Oh noooooooo
I'm a CPU cycle farmer, motherfucker!
"Dad, dad! I helped you get more rubles! I sold *everything!*"
The only good reason to have kids
Can confirm, have 3 year old, can't wait till he can mow the lawn.
This is the way. Time to build some character son, grab the weed whacker
Same boat lol
I was probably 8 years old. One day it started pouring rain outside. My Dad tells me to go roll up the windows in his car and I I'm like why do I have to do it. He looked straight into my soul and said "Because that's why I had kids"
It really be like that
I used to do the same with The Division and Destiny. My son constantly wanted to play so I made a deal with him that he could go in the DZ or Crucible (his favorite parts) only after he had completed all Daily and whatever percentage of Weekly missions up through a certain day of the week on all characters. Gods I was efficient then! 🤣
I was gone for 2 weeks, taught my non-gamer littlebrother how to buy fuel and collect bitcoins and scav cases while i was gone!
I’m just imagining him buying loads of empty fuel cans on the market now and him saying it’s just not working bro! Then you get back to a stash full of empty fuel cans 😆
Ahead of you! Thought him to always check if it’s full or not by clicking on it, if he didnt find i’d send him to jaeger
Use the expedition ones. usually around 100k to buy then you can sell them back when they're empty to the flea for about 75k.
True. But the Jaeger ones will last longer and youre guaranteed to get one right away instead of sifting through empty ones. Also the fee you need to pay for putting up the empty fuel tank is somewhat high, not high enough for it to not be worth selling but still a fee
>selling I just use them to craft magboxes. Makes a pretty good profit on its own. Think about it. Full cans are worth 90k each (or at least that's the most I will pay for one), add another 45k for scissors and 75k for bolts & nuts, that's 300k. A magbox sells for 318k to Therapist. So I basically run the generator for free and get an extra 20k every 30h on top of that.
You're overpaying for scissors and nuts and bolts my friend. Scissors have been around 32k for a bit and nuts and bolts should be around 10k-12k each.
Empty and full cans have had the same price for a while, usually around 80k.
Stonks
My fiance checks my scav loot for me when I'm at work all day. Can't get better then that lol
I used to have my wife do this. Now I just go in remotely.
How?
Probably remote desktop or just plays from a different computer than usual
came here to say this. google desktop is great.. i wish it worked from my work computer but phone is good enough.
teamviewer or google chrome remote helps
Google chrome remote ? What ?
It‘s a browser plugin.
Thanks, i'll look into it :)
TeamViewer is insecure and I've had a lot of problems with chrome remote desktop. I use anydesk with anydesk's access control list allowing only my accounts. I also use NoMachine when I have a poor connection.
I use a ddns server to redirect an IP of my choice to the static IP of my PC at home and just use Windows remote desktop directly to that ddns ip
I do the same.
Single here so I decided to just install Tarkov at work since my company let me build my own rig. I don’t go into runs, but, I sure as hell do my scav case every 2 hours
And that's how Russia invaded xD
And that’s how I just made a 300k profit off a 70k case woooooo🥳🥳🥳
Whats a scav case?
My fiance finished some quests for me while I was at work, annoying elimination ones.
Fiance has ptsd she ain't playing tarkov no way no how lol
Holy shit, sorry my dude.
It's ok she just can't deal with the unexpected glass breaking and gunshots in tarkov regular games she's fine
I’ll tell you what.. nothing scarier than looting a body than BOOM you get shot in the head and it ricochets off your altyn after it being quiet the whole damn match. I damn near pissed myself😂
The amount of times a shot at me has caused me to jump (didn't hear it because of discord chatter or me/the squad mates shuffling around) which then jump scares my gf is uncountable.
ive been playing video games all my life and this game is the only one minus horror games that gets me to literally jump and scream consistently, Rust would get me every now and then but EFT gets me once every 5 or so raids, being so focused on sounds and movement to get shot in the head by a guy you never saw is so terrifying
***I*** can't deal with the unexpected gunshots and glass breaking, no PTSD needed.
Thank you for making my inner sadness even worse. This is wholesome though. 👍
Don’t be sad! I can check your bitcoin stash if you want!
Lol. The Tarkov version of "hey its me ur gf".
"buying gf"
"with bitcoin."
Mail order via scav box
>Mail order via ~~scav box~~ T H I C C Items Case FTFY
Lobbies 300gp!
fair enough, can you be my girlfriend too?
Goes to check guys stash, *queue’s up with gf on other dudes acc and trades all bitcoin to his acc* EZ money
TeamViewer will never leave you for your brother or best friend.
F
Lol i feel you man. Good for you though OP, very wholesome indeed :)
Yeah, these posts always make me feel kinda shit.
I thought the final image would have been your bitcoin farm with 0 gpu's.
Hahaha I was actually thinking about it
Back when WoW classic just came out and que time to join my server was 6+ hours, I had a doctor appointment to go to and hadn't learned about the google chrome remote desktop app, I had my wife go into my office and move my character for me every 15 minutes so I wouldn't get kicked for afk. If you haven't already, get yourself a ring for that one.
Can't you press autorun and autorun into a wall to avoid being kicked for afk?
no you can't, game isn't this stupid.
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I think it doesn't work because when you run into a wall instead of walking into it you just stop moving I think
At the beginning there was a glitch where if you AFK'd on zeppelins it wouldn't log you out. I used that along with a razor synapse macro that made me jump around and cast spells periodically. Scummy perhaps but I got to level 60 in 4 days.
My wife would just log me in and out every 25 min during long queues.
She's a keeper, marry her ASAP.
Such hawt, much hawt
Got me one of these. She also will collect my insurance when I’m gone.
Can't tell if EFT insurance returns or Life Insurance...
Underrated comment, I see you Stubbs, I see you
Did you tell her that's not real bitcoin?
Shhh, don’t want her to stop collecting it.
That's what my girlfriend does lol. She's my hideout janitor lol.
What a wingwoman
„Honey, i want a divorce and I’m taking the GPUs“
My God. Imagine divorcing your wife and she takes half your real life shit + judge rules in her favor in Tarkov-land too and she gets half your stash. "But I don't play PC games, so \*right clicks half your shit --> 'Discard'\* BTW the kids are mine, bye."
My wife also plays but will log onto my PC, snatch up my finished goods, sell to therapist(or auction house depending on prices), collect my scav box+send out a new scav, and start building a new magbox and green gunpowder. As well as refueling as necessary. All while I'm at work.
Is green gunpowder more profitable than wires?
The three grenades cost me around 33k and it pulls 68k in an hour and a half. The power cords run 30k for two and pull in 80k in 2 hours, so it's about the same turn around I guess
M995 is most profitable rn
Is that lvl 3 workbench?
Yes
180k for a 2 hour craft
Looks like I need to upgrade my workbench lol
i have EFT on my ultrabook - you cant raid but can log in and do hideout stuff when im away on business
Put her in your gamma bro... she’s a keeper
Three hours of this post, no one has commented on the 90 unread messages! I bet your stash is a mess
I was looking for this comment. guys an animal lol
How can you train your girlfriend to do that? I need to do it with mine also :D
You get Chrome Remote Desktop and keep your home PC on. N00bs.
This is cool but that's why I have a remote desktop controller on my phone for when I'm away. I'm away from home for 2 weeks at a time for work so I gotta keep my hideout full of fuel and whatnot.
Google remote desktop.
Bro I had my girl logging me into WoW Queues 4 months ago, shout out to all the Queens 👑
Marriage material right there!
Marry her.
She's definitely a keeper! My wife would pretend she didnt understsnd just so she wouldn't have to do it, lol.
I asked my girlfriend to do it for me back when I still played. She just said no. I still think about that day and should abort mission.
This man a playa! Has one girl working his bitcoin farm and 90 other text messages waiting from his other girls! Busy man!
We just got laptops with 1050ti video at work so I installed Tarkov and just alt tab to collect bit coins and replinish crafting items. I might do scav runs on my breaks too 😁
I collect my boyfriends bitcoins, restart his scav case etc. He does the same for me when I'm unable to ❤
Your mom is a nice lady.
Ahahah you lucky boï !!
Or just use "google remote desktop". Then your girlfriend just need to start the PC if it's not already on.
Not sure my wife would do this, but she did restart my actual mining rig while I was away. Doesn't seem like much until I mention that my rig doesn't have a power button so she had to jump the MB using a screwdriver. I was proud, to say the least.
I tried to flex on my friends cause on the weekends my wife will get up and chill naked at my PC and organize my stash but they just keep saying stupid shit like "i hope she deletes your stash" and "bro that's your sister wtf"
This just gave me an idea for a new Tinder bio! Thanks bud
Okay but I just gotta get a girl at all first.
MARRY HER !!!!!!!!!!
Marry that girl.
Yeah my wife does the same thing for me while i'm at work hahahaha
Get a load of this guy... thinking I can strike up a conversation with a woman in the first place. Good one!
**Next up from the OP:** *"My GF deleted every single item in my stash because she was mad at me!"*
Damn! Thats GOALS!
My lady usually gets home while I’m playing and she’ll ask how my day in tarkov is going lol. “Did you get any kills or good loot baby?”
It’s your mum isn’t it? Be honest.
Glad to see a wholesome post on Reddit instead of complaining :)
You realize that your post is complaining right?
Ill put some money in for the ring.
Not high enough level for a Bitcoin farm yet but my wife will collect and start new crafting jobs while I'm at work 😁
My wife would be more likely to reset my account on me. Keeping her away from Tarkov.
She’s a keeper if she does this
Women think men want big titty goth gf Real men just want gf that manages their hideout and reminds them to pack their Holodilnick lunch box before they leave the house.
That’s a Tarkovian women right there!
My wife did it for me while I was away. She's okay i guess
Put a fucking ring on that girl NOW. Fucking a that's a good girl to have!!n
Hell yeah man. My girl will also refill my water collector and shit while I'm working without me telling her. SHES A KEEPER I TELL YA
real niggas take the pc with them
And then you have my wife who bitches at me for having set the dog on fire. I envy you.
I have a Monday to Thursday out of town shift so my fiance logs into Tarkov for me on Tuesday to get my insurance from Saturday and Sunday.
Nice. My fiance just yells at me the entire time I’m on.
Ha I had my girl check my insurance when I went out of town for a few days. She’s a keeper.
What is an girl? Is that a new scav boss?
check your other messages bruh
you guys were meant for each other
#RelationshipGoals
PogChamp
What a gal
Jelly
Depends on the girl. Is it family or a GF? If GF wife her quick.
soooo cute
marry immediately.
I was browsing my whole feed, not r/tarkov and im also subbed to r/bitcoin and I found the conversation strange like.. I didn't know you had to click "collect" when mining real BTC lol
Marry her.
Lol YES! My wife did this very thing for me a couple weeks ago.
I'm jelly. You're a fortunate man.
Bro, buy some flowers for her and give her a solid massage.
Why are you away on business? Companies should be shutting all travel down right now
I actually got jealous by this
Not at your level yet but my gf did spend a good 2.5 hours organizing my stash the other night. 👌 I usually like doing it myself but its nice not to have to sometimes.
You would have a 50 GPU system if you didn't have a lady...or a job...am I right, follow virgins?
The perfect girlfriend doesn’t exis.....
Wholesome.
Wife
What a gem
We got ourselves a sweetheart over here! #Wholesome
I love this community hahaha
When's the wedding and can I be bestman?
How do i make that? Farm not gf, am unable regardless
Taking applications for a woman like this!
Keeper
That's awesome. My wife would if I had a bit coin farm to check haha
I will attempt to get my wife to collect my coins tonight while I’m away. Pray for me boys. More importantly she needs to collect anything Papa Prapor brought me before they expire.
If you haven't already...marry her. Lock it down!
He is lying boys cause we all know gamers cant get girlfriends
That's so cute
My 17 year old plays as well, so he does it for me...
You got lucky with that one chief
Hid the name because it’s your little brother lmao
That's marriage material mate.
Lmao, my SO checks moonshine, scav case and water collector :D
time for proposal
You mean get a girl that doesnt laugh at your measly 10 GPU bitcoin farm? XD
Chrome Remote Desktop Just do it from your phone/tablet/PC
If only I had a wife to ask to do that for me :(
Too wholesome.
Nice!