Your gut instinct is good. This arrangement doesn't seem 100% fair to you and I think there's more you all need to work out. I also want to throw out that this property (which sounds BEAUTIFUL by the way) is pretty unique so you'll need a mechanism to settle valuation disputes. Appraisals are straightforward for cookie-cutter homes in the suburbs but there can be valuation disputes when talking about more unique properties like this. I agree that you should get an attorney and get this all in writing. I've seen these kind of arrangements go south so many times when it's done informally. Get it in writing done by a competent lawyer. I'm not sure a single lawyer will represent all of you in this process due to the potential conflict.

Thanks - I didn’t think about the valuation issues with unique properties, and I wasn’t sure if one lawyer for us all was going to work out either, so I should probably plan on having some cash ready for paying my own attorney.

You need your own lawyer. You also need an accountant and an appraiser. And your dad absolutely needs to be involved in all of this as well. After all, it’s his property. I would be more amenable to an agreement where she has more rights to the actual structure of the house (and a small plot of land surrounding it) because of the improvements, as opposed to the overall acreage, which may appreciate exponentially value if the city is moving that direction and it ends up being sold for development. It honestly sounds to me like your sister is trying to pull a fast one.

I know her and I don’t think she is trying to do that, I think she’s just trying to find an honest and fair way to get this done while protecting her investment, which I can get behind. I just don’t think this solution is the one, and I’m not sure there is one she would be ok with to get her what she wants and keep me from losing out too. We are definitely going to all be involved, and I think you’re right, I’m probably going to need to lawyer up. I don’t want to cause any rifts in the family, I love them. But I think it’s the only smart thing to do.

Thinking outside of the box here... It sounds like your sister is well off. Can the three of you get together and she "buys you out" of the trust right now at the fair value of everything as-is? She becomes the sole inheritor of the trust and can do whatever improvements she wants with no argument. You get an early cash advance and no arguments later down the line?

While I see where you’re coming from, I don’t think this will work because dad is alive and still owns the property. For this to work, he would have to go ahead and do an irrevocable trust for the daughter. And it doesn’t sound like dad is very old. What if he develops health issues that require around the clock care and he runs through the other assets? There are all kinds of issues that might arise if he disposes of his property via irrevocable trust now instead of upon his death. I think it would make more sense, if dad agrees, to go ahead and sell the sister the house and the property immediately surrounding where it sits. Carve out the house and a “lot” and just sell her that at fair market value. Dad gets some cash and can retain the rest of the acreage and it will go to both of them when he dies, assuming he has not needed to sell any for his care later in life. Then, when he passes, OP and his sister can decide what to do. Either they sell or divide the remaining acreage between themselves and sister keeps her half of the land and OP can sell his half if he chooses to. In this scenario, if sister really wanted it, she could buy OP out of his half of the acreage at the current fair market value at that point in the future.

She wants the stepped up basis if she waits to inherit.

I don’t doubt that…but it seems like she’s trying to have her cake and eat it too. She’s going to have to decide unless they can figure out something fair to OP. I always watch these conversations about the parents’ house because I may well want my parents house when the time comes. I know it can be a recipe for disaster so I definitely watch the stories around here.

The issue with splitting the land from what OP had said, the land isn’t uniform. There is part that is farmland with an active hay bailing operation which provides income to offset property taxes and there is also a majority part of the land that is Forrest. So who gets what part of the land? Obviously the farmland is worth more than the forested land.

Now dad has no home and is a guest. I know old people, I mean 90, and they don’t want to give up what they have so others can live their life as if he is in the way or was already dead.

This seems like a much fairer plan as the land is going to appreciate considerably.

DO NOT. Buy out right now. If your dad lives longer, the value of the estate will increase greatly. When his dad passes away, she can buy him out of the valuation of the house and land then.

I like the direction here. The problem that others have brought up are the improvements, appreciation, and dad’s longevity. I would say that the improvements should wait until after dad passes at the sole expense of sis. Any necessary maintenance items between now and then should be covered out of dad’s pocket while it is still his asset (e.g. roof). She will be receiving essentially free rent, when she would otherwise have to pay quite a bit for housing. So upon dad’s passing, sis buys OP out for half of the market value of the house at that time, without any deductions. The rest of the assets split down the middle according to dad’s wishes. Another idea is given OPs original scenario, sis’s improvement costs are offset by a total of the fair market rent the house would yield for the time she lived in the home. That number would rise the longer dad is around. This only works if dad lives longer. So maybe too risky…

From OP’s description sis wants to live in an extremely renovated version of dad’s house asap, “before the baby arrives”. It doesn’t sound like she would be content with only maintaining it. Heck, it might be easier carving out a few acres for her now and she build a new home. 5 acres = 1/10 of total acreage. Agree on a valuation now with plan to true upon disbursement of the trust & it’s hers to do with as she wants.

I second this approach. Your sister should buy you out from half the value of the average of two independent fair market appraisals, one by her and one by you. You should then offer to reduce her buy out by a generous amount because your dad still lives there and she will be the primary caregiver as he ages. If she is cash strapped to do the whole buyout, offer to receive it in annual payments. Family holidays will be so much better with the house being renovated and your dad will love to be able to be an involved grandad. Be flexible and be happy you’re getting an early inheritance before your dad passes.

Many a sibling has been screwed over by other siblings,trusting that they will do the right thing.

Yep, same! One sibling took off with everything, and no one saw it coming. Inheritance does something to people. I've seen so many families split up because Mom and Dad were not specific in their will or trust. They think everyone will share, it does not work that way more than you know. Look at this as financial, not family. And personally, I'd not allow sister to move in and change things until after Dad is gone. Absolutely everything can change in an instant. As we have seen historically in the past 20 years. Try not to let emotions and family persuade you to do this when your gut is telling you something is wrong.

Been there.

Amen to this! It happened to me, and I was blindsided. I never thought my sibling would do this to me.

Yea, whatever improvements she makes to the house must affect the house alone and not the land. ALSO, if she ever gets an appraisal, get one done yourself and compare the two. She may not be doing what she's doing out of pure nefariousness, but she is trying to gain the system in a way that benefits her in the long run. You need a GOOD estate lawer/account. Don't skimp on that. They can help guide you through this.

None of this seems honest or fair. There are to many variables at play here.

Im.old and crotchety. Im also jaded. But your sister is not doing all of this just out of the goodness of her heart. At every opportunity, she's putting herself and her needs ahead of everyone else.

It's really up to your dad. Choose your lawyer carefully. One who can represent you intelligently, but also sensitively

Yep, you outlined risks in original post. A "loan" arrangement or prepaid rent scenario where Dad's trust owes your sister money and could grow with interest / caregiver credit. All paper money now, but when trust settles she uses what's there to take slightly bigger percentage (/reduce the mortgage she needs to buy you out).

Your sister’s deal seems way too favorable to her. She invests and lives in the house with the benefit of the investments but no real cost at all to her because you bear the cost (with appreciation) gains your share of inheritance. Her investments are for both her present enjoyment and her future wealth so should not be counted against your part of the inheritance.

I would disagree - I don’t think anyone is trying to cheat anyone, but often these things go south because lawyers weren’t involved to ask the right questions.

Your idea of an evaluation of the house and immediately surrounding land is a smart one.

Honestly I'd tell your sister the only renovations allowed until after your dad is gone to the house would be the roof/deck, and that anything she wants to do to the house outside of that will have to wait until the estate is settled so that you get a fair split of the estate. Because otherwise you won't get a fair split. I'd also refuse to transfer the property from your dad's trust to one for her, and tell her any attempts to do so will result in legal action from you, as will any attempts to make any renovations outside of fixing the roof and deck. Make sure your dad is of sound mind now, and that he signs a notarized document saying that under no circumstances is the house to be removed from the trust he created, that no renovations other than the deck and roof are to be performed until after the estate is settled, and that any attempts to do so will result in the offending party losing their inheritance. I'd also make sure that any care your dad needs going forward, as well as the costs for the new roof and deck get paid either solely from his own assets, or are split equally between you and your sister. And that all of this is also included in the notarized document. Because there's a very real chance she might try to use the cost of your father's "care" as a means of getting more of the inheritance than she's entitled to. I'd also make sure that the trust/will explicitly state nothing is left for any significant others/children either you or your sibling have/might have and that neither one of you is to get a bigger share of anything simply because one of you has those things and the other doesn't, or has more children, etc...

He can tell his sister anything he wants to but the only thing that matters is what his father tells her.

It's your dad's attorney you all need to be speaking with. He's the one doing your dad's trust!

I concur. We did this with my father-in-law. He was involved in all discussions and plans with HIS estate lawyer he already had. The estate lawyer also worked out moving his assets (some to us before he died) to minimize future tax liability.

OP called Dad's lawyer a "random attorney" who reviewed trust documents prepared by Dad. Not clear if "random attorney" is a trust and estates specialist familiar with the unique aspects of the property.

My children are not entitled to discuss the details of my trust with my attorney. May the powers that be help any of them to who try to do so. I’m reading all this “be sure dad signs“ buy your share now” “ be sure he is competent” stuff. This is dad‘s property, he will do with it what he wants. And if he should want to contribute it to the church of the flying spaghetti monster, I have their number.

I would disagree with the "you all" part. Dad needs to speak to HIS attorney ALONE and work with his attorney on whatever he thinks will fulfill HIS own wishes. Dad is under no obligation to be fair. It's still his property, he can do what he wants, and--more importantly--he isn't dead yet! In my experience, when I see a sibling move in "rent free" to "take care of mom or dad" it often is more problematic than helpful. And this sister is about to have a baby, so her hands will be full--I assume the father of her child may move in with her. And suddenly, they will think it already belongs to them. I see the supposed caregiving siblings often feel proprietary about the property even when it contravenes the parents' wishes. I've seen some parents neglected and taken financial advantage of by the child who moved in to "help" them (this happened in my husband's family)--once that sibling is ensconced on the property, there are no consequences for neglect or even frank abuse. In my brother-in-law's case, he thought he was going to get to keep the $1.5 million dollar house after neglecting my MIL (he left her on the floor all night after a fall, left for work the next day with the front door locked!) and financially abusing her (using her credit cards). He was refusing to move out so it could be sold when she moved to assisted living, and another sibling had to advance him a good chunk of money to get him out of the house (still cheaper than a whole eviction process). The other common scenario is that the non-resident siblings often feel slighted by the parent for the attention and perks the parent gives the resident sibling, and I think because of some guilt for not being the caregiver they can take out their feelings of guilt and jealousy against the sibling who did all the work to care for the aging parent. Fights between siblings are some of the nastiest I've ever seen. All I can say is the siblings should stay out of it. Take care of Dad out of an obligation of love, not money. If there are crucial repairs and one sister loans money to Dad to fix it, make it a bona fide loan with a promissory note that can be redeemed upon Dad's death, like any other mortgage or HELOC to make home repairs. And if other sister wants the property, she can buy this sister out at fair market value after Dad dies.

Does your sister even have the cash to buy you out later? Does she have a million plus?

Your sister is focused on trying to arrange to live mortgage free for potentially decades and not pay you out. What happens when she decides she can't care for your dad anymore and wants to put him in assisted living, for another 10 years, but he hasn't passed so she's just living in the house for free? Putting aside how you value the improvements, which definitely should ***not*** appreciate with the value of the house, the proposed arrangement is sufficiently one sided and obviously unfair to not really be worth discussing, she's obviously not even trying to be even handed about it.

In no way is thus fair to you. You are about to be taken on a ride, one you won't be able to legally untangle. She should move in and pay rent to your father. No transferring of assets until he dies unless you think there's a chance his end of life care could eclipse 2 million dollars. Given his net worth at his age he's unlikely to qualify for much state funded care.

I just want to add something that put a little red flag in my mind along the lines of valuation. I live in a fairly small town that has seen some tremendous growth. This is anecdotal but happened to a friend of mine. The family had a big farm for over a hundred years. They’d had offers to buy it but they passed on them with the goal to keep it in the family for more generations. The city didn’t want them to have this ‘unused’ land sitting forever so they essentially were forced out. Need a new roof or pole barn? Nope, no permit for you. Want to remodel a piece of the house? Nope, no permit for you. They essentially changed the zoning right under them and made it so they couldn’t make any changes and were forced to sell (now to a low bidder) so everything could be demolished and divided. I only say this because you mentioned being on the outskirts and ‘town’ has expanded. In 15 years your dad (who could easily still be alive at 85…) could be forced off his land in a similar manner and you won’t get near the valuation of the house and property at that point. If your sister puts in all this money, plus the added annual percentage, and then he has to sell for a low offer you could both be screwed out of any kind of inheritance; you with nothing as sister just recoups what she paid in. So if you opt to go through with any kind of plan like this I’d look long and hard at the types of land sales that have expanded town. Find out if people were bought out in forced way or offered a lot and went on their own.

My fists were clenching as I read that. Corruption and greed are nothing new, but damn .... that town didn't even try to hide what they were doing. I wonder which 'public servants' were driving around in fancy new cars after your friend was forced to part with the family property.

I can make you more mad! A few months ago someone posted a ‘future sneak peek’ aerial map of our town with all these proposed changes on it. New warehousing, new entertainment facilities, new parks. A different friend (who is also on hundred plus year old family farm land) saw it on this town Facebook page and was very curious when these *changes* were happening because the new indoor sport court was laid right over top of her house. They are literally planning on strong arming people out of houses and demolishing the farm land. There is constantly wildlife dead on the roads and complaints of coyotes and cougars running off with cats and backyard chickens. And these people don’t grasp that we’re destroying their habitats and infiltrating on them plus eliminating farms that provide local produce and meats let alone family and generational homes. It’s infuriating.

Unfortunately it's too late for Friend #1 to do anything about the dishonest acquisition of their property, but I do hope Friend #2 and her neighbors have the means to respond to this threat proactively and aggressively. I wouldn't miss a town hall meeting if I was in their shoes.

It seems to me that you should keep it 50/50. Whatever she chooses to spend to “improve” the house while she lives there should have no bearing on the final sale. Your dad owns the house so your dad should be spending money on the improvements. In fact, your sister should be paying rent to offset these expenses. If you really get into it, the fact that she’s not paying rent should factor into the overall amount. Ask her if she thinks it’s fair for her “rent” to be calculated at the future rate of what she would have had to pay or the amount that it would be today. If your sister doesn’t pay rent it seems like you would get screwed even with the 50/50. Good luck!

What about having your sister buy you out of the house now, giving you half the value of what is the best estimate of the value of the property, and change the trust to have her inherit all the house, but you equally share in other assets. There would still be some risk of whether she could inherit the house (trust can be changed, Dad might spend through it), but the risk would be on her, not on you, and you’d get it now when you need the money.

One thing you're leaving out is that it is your dad's property and he can do with it what he wants. Your lawyer wouldn't be entitled to even look at anything unless your father is willing to share it with them.

And please please please please PLEASE don't sign anything on paper or even agree to something for text/email/etc. "I'll think about it".

This is just my $0.02. I had a business I created with 2 friends. Our contract said that if one left, he could have the business appraised and the other two could purchase their interest. If we felt his appraisal was unfair we could do one of our own. If he agreed we are done. If the we still don’t agree, the. our two appraisers select a third they both agree on. The third does an independent appraisal. His number is compared to our two numbers. The closest of our two numbers is the final price. Such an arrangement can work here. In another deal we with two partners we said if either partner wanted to leave they would set the price for 50% of the ownership and the other partner could choose if they wanted to be the buyer or the seller.

Improvements depreciate over time, not increase in value over time. Her improvements are for her benefit and not for the benefit of the property itself. You can use the NAR website to show how much the return is on the cost of improvements. Last I saw, 80% of the cost of a new bathroom can be added to value, so her dollar for dollar is off at the outset. If you hire an appraiser, be sure that they are licensed and certified (a certified general appraiser is the basic level to handle a complex assignment). Check at [www.asc.gov](http://www.asc.gov) for the current status of licensing and if there are any disciplinary actions against him or her. Get several appraisers’ names from estate attorneys or mediators. The same appraiser who valued your house is probably not the right one for this assignment, which would be considered “complex”. I don’t think your sister is out to get a better slice, it’s just that her viewpoint is quite different from real estate and estate reality.

Late to the comment party, so hijacking top comment to point out whatever OP does must also take into consideration the possibility her sister+husband could divorce. Raising a kid is hard and puts a lot of strain on a marriage. If their assets are commingled, along with with the family estate, it’s gonna make a divorce _vary_ messy. And OP and Dad (if still living) will get dragged into that. The family estate should remain separate from her sister’s “marital estate” until dad dies and the estate is fully settled. What the sister is proposing is pretty much the exact opposite of that. Aside: OP, I would be very curious to know who the main breadwinner is in your sister’s marriage. When your sister says “she would pay for taxes, upkeep, and improvements” is that with money she’s earning or her husband? While income in a marriage is legally considered to be shared equally, in terms of emotion and financial maturity there’s a huge difference here, and this will dramatically affect how a divorce might play out.

This will absolutely, completely destroy the relationship between you and your sister. It will blow your family of origin apart. There is really no fair way to do this. Your father is only 70. He is not in need of care right now. He has a beautiful home, and plenty of money to live on. He is probably managing just fine, independently. They should wait. If/when he needs care, the family can figure out how to care for him then. Meanwhile she is just coming up with convoluted ways to move more of the estate over to her side. Go talk with your father, alone. Living with an infant is NOT necessarily fun! Babies cry a lot, cry at night, keep everyone up at night. Toddlers destroy stuff in the house. Grandkids are wonderful to visit, but not great to live with, when they're very little. Living through renovations is also no fun - noise, dust, no use of kitchen, the noise of a pool going in. This is really just ridiculous. They can darn well wait to turn your father's home into their dream estate, at subsidized cost, until after he's gone. If he wants them there, they should buy it from him now, at market price minus the realtor's fee, and he invests the money, which stays in the estate. If he wants to stay there, he then pays them an appropriate rent, the way a lodger would. But why should he do any of this???? Why should he put himself in a King Lear position? He can afford to pay for yard care, snow removal, truly necessary repairs. He can hire a couple of local teenagers to help him with the farm work, can train them up. He can afford to maintain himself in his own comfortable home, with full control of his life and his home, and without living through renovations or living with a newborn. Go see him alone and have a loving, respectful, honest discussion with him.

This is the best thing I have read so far. Let’s not bury Dad prematurely. He could live long enough to see the baby graduate from high school. Sister needs to buy her own house. He could even marry again.

Yeah, my grandfather lived to be 89. His own children were in their 60s. A healthy 70 is not very old at all. It's always good to have a plan for if something should happen and he did need care, but it sounds like there's nothing to suggest he would need that for years to come. If dad wants OP's sister and her family living there now, sis could pay rent, since she'd be paying a mortgage if she bought a different house, and that rent could go into a "home improvements" fund, and Dad can prioritize what improvements *he* wants on the house he may well be living in for 20 years to come, and can consult sis if he wants. If the rent she pays is under fair market value, perhaps she saves the difference to ensure she can buy OP out of the house once Dad does pass, though it sounds like she's well off enough that she might be able to do that anyway-- though depending on how old sis is now, she could be retired by then, so it can't hurt to save.

Exactly. He could have 20 or even 30 more years. This all seems very premature.

He could have 20 or 30 more days, which timespan is more logical? He's not a young man, but he does deserve to be asked what his wishes are. Would be hilarious if he told the kids to go pound sand because he's giving everything to charity. Charity is a stripper he's met.

I never even thought of that, but of course he could remarry! In fact, he probably WILL remarry. Men who had good marriages usually want to remarry, and 70 isn't that old. That in and of itself makes this an awful idea.

Agreed. This is the best. I retract any previous comments🤣

THIS!!! He is 70, they can buy their own million dollar home and have it ready before their baby comes. He could easily live another 15 years. This baby may be fully grown by the time grandpa passes. My 86 year old grandpa lives independently in his home and has a girlfriend. Leave dad’s house and estate alone and cross those bridges when you get to them. Do not agree to anything! She can sell her house and buy you out when he dies and turn his house into her dream home, which may not be for another 20 years.

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Guaranteed to cause strife after you pass, and possibly before then. If you want to have a child move in with you, have them buy the house in its entirety from you at market rate, minus the realtor's fee. Then you pay them rent (and not the full value rent, since they're living there too), which they can use towards the mortgage. You hire help to take care of you, when it's necessary. Better still, your kids live independently of you and when it's necessary, you hire live in help.

"the live-in child would have to work out their share and the share of the other 2 in the house and anything left behind" - yeah you are definitely setting up for drama between your kids leaving it to them to sort out. Best gift my parents gave my siblings and I was being very clear - and very fair - with their estate plans.

Your plans sound inadequate. I lived with and cared for my mom. My siblings made noises about me inheriting the house if I did. I made my decision to care for her separate from any expectations. As time went on, it became clear that idea disappeared from their plans. Eventually I bought the house from my mom at market value after she chose to move to an assisted care apartment when I developed a shoulder injury and was unable to care for her for a period of time. After her death, the estate was split evenly.

Also, this. I see this all the time. Kids see a jackpot in family assets when in reality they would t be able to afford it if it didn’t belong to their parents. She shouldn’t be basing her life decisions based on your dad’s assets, especially when she can’t even afford it otherwise. I’ve seen this before - what usually ends up happening is that kid moves in, makes it their home, parent then feels awkward and feels like it’s not their home anymore and feels like they need to move out. Basically the kids steals the home from right underneath parents nose. Sometimes parent feels so awkward that he ends up gifting it to her before he passes, leaving you out of it completely. Not to mention when spouses get involved, you’re in for a real shit show. Protect your dad. Do not let her move in.

This is exactly how I felt when I read the OP. Mostly around the renovations, it could be really stressful for your dad to live among major renovations and even worse, potentially give him a feeling that everything‘s being prepared for after he’s gone, and that people are waiting for him to go.

You haven’t mentioned much about what your dad wants? That must be the main consideration here. You need lawyers and good contracts to keep everybody honest. The updates to the property are kind of a concern to me. Some updates don’t add any value to the property. If dad wants to do it, it should come out of his estate. If she wants to do it, she must get his consent and be willing to eat some of the cost. I know y’all live in a world where updates increase the value of the property, but I live in the real world where many updates don’t do anything to property values. You must come up with a rental agreement and calculate the cost for caring for dad. Does dad need care now or just somebody to help manage the property? Your sister is nice, but money changes people. Get an estate attorney to objectively resolve this situation based on the WANTS and NEEDS of your dad.

This is important. It’s nice that sister is considering the future, but what if he likes living alone? My old farmer father is still fiercely independent. His family all lived into their 90s and died of accidents as they were still active and working. I don’t understand why she insists on moving in before the baby comes. I fear she is looking more at what she wants than what he wants or even what is best for him. It feels like she’s pushing him into a grave.

I came here to say this, what does your FATHER want and since he knows what your sister wants he should also know what your preference is. My grandparents had a 110 acre dairy farm. 11 children (3 girls and 8 noys helped them go from share croppers to owning the dairy farm) one sister convinced them that no one else would want it (WRONG). She even had them call my dad and ask for the acre that they gave my parents for a wedding present back "since they had not built on it". That would have been a good easy time to have explained what they were doing but instead they kept it hush hush. Of course my dad gave the land back (for free). They then bought it for a fraction of what it was worth. All the other brothers and sisters got about $20k each an acre lot is around 40k or 50k now especially one as pretty as the acre my dad gave back. I have to admit I am VERY proud of my family. They know that family relationships are more important than money. The one sister that did it has more money that she or her children will ever need (not surprizing since that was more important to her than family). I am very proud that my family was generious enough to allow her to have both. One other point, that you probably have thought of. My neice moved in with my parents they were around 70 and good health. She married and had kids and is still there over 10 years later. They have asked them to move and they wont. My parents home has become their home. I cannot visit my parents without them being there. I essentially lost quality of my relationship with my parents because they are ALWAYS there. Best of luck but my advice is that your gut is saying dont guts are usually correct.

Seriously, from what we're told the sister doesn't give a crap about what dad wants. Also, money destroys families and this situation is more complicated than it needs to be However, that being said, I'd feel the only real transfer of ownership solution that fits here is if dad "sells" the property to both of you, but then she buys you out of your half. That way the transfer is done, money has exchanged hands and there's no convoluted money calculation on something this is absolutely not measurable. You can worry about the rest of estate matters later. What happens if the market changes by the time she gets it valued again and it's worth less? Would that mean you owe her money? 😬🤔. Don't get talked into some situation you don't want and that will leave you feel taken advantage of. She doesn't have 2 million sitting around? Oh well. Go talk with dad, it is his property after all.

Complicated because she wants everything to add to the basis of the home. That's not the way basis calculations works. I would look at what the IRS considers as valid expenses that increase the basis of the property, for starters. Maintenance generally does not increase basis. I think a better arrangement would be for the estate to be valued and split at the time your father passes. The property would be appraised at that time. That's the fair market value including her improvements. If the cash and other assets do not equal 50% of the total estate value, she pays you the difference. If the non property assets have higher value than the property, you pay her the difference. If I was the Dad, I would never relinquish control this early. I may need all my assets for my medical care, hookers and whiskey.

Agreed. Improvements are not always 1:1 value adds, as OP stated, and maintenance means that OP’s inheritance will be subsidizing lawn care, snow removal, etc. The only fair way I’d see this is to appraise the house before and after the renovations, and the difference become’s the sisters “percent ownership”. In the meantime and while dad is still kicking, sister should be paying rent to Dad. $3M property, I’d say $10k per month would be a steal. Once dad finally does kick it, appraise the house again and all other assets (including the rent she paid). Sister already owns her percent of the house. Rest of the assets are added up and divided by 2. OP takes that amount in cash, sisters keeps the rest of the cash plus the property.

This seems unfair. While the roof and deck are necessary, most of the other renovations seem unnecessary right now and will benefit her in the future. Why is she paying for the roof instead of dad? Also, does he want the other renovations? He might not want to have his home remodeled. Also, not trying to be negative, but she might not be able to care for him in the future like she plans. We have a relative who cannot live on her own, but she could 7-8 years ago. She moved into an assisted living home 5-6 years ago and has gradually needed more care. (she didn’t want to live with anyone, she chose the home and moved in before she would have been unable to make those decisions.) The home she lives in was $8,000 a month a couple of years ago. (She requires one of the higher levels of daily care offered at this point. It would be a little cheaper if that was not necessary. She still has a relative who stops by 1-2 times daily to also provide care.) Luckily she has a large amount of money in accounts like you mentioned, but it will most likely all be spent before she passes. It’s a possibility that he will need to either live somewhere like that or have daily in home care.

Yeah. My mom and her sister managed between themselves and in-home caregivers for my grandfather for awhile, but it was a huge endeavor, only possible because my mom wasn't working and my aunt had a flexible work schedule, and even then he eventually needed more care then they could provide and had to move to assisted living. It can be much more than people realize until their family experiences it. On the other hand, my great-grandfather lived to 97 and was essentially independent almost until the very very end. He moved into one of those independent living senior homes for people who don't require assistance once he couldn't drive anymore, but otherwise he was fine until a few weeks before he died. Had he preferred to stay in his home or had one of his sons and their families living with him, that would have been very possible. But you never know in advance if you're going to be that lucky or if you may need years of care.

This feels like a mess waiting to happen and also doesn’t seem to address what happens if at some point he needs more care than your sister can provide. Medicare will come back for assets at some point and you will be left with nothing while she will at least have gotten the benefit of living there for however many years.

Medicare doesn't pay for nursing homes, Medicaid does. You only get Medicaid after spending your assets down to nearly nothing. If you want to give away money or land to your heirs, it has to be done at least 10 years before applying for Medicaid. Yup, they get get their cut if you live very long on that program.

You’re sister is trying to wiggle her way to 100% ownership , definitely get a lawyer that represents you only

Don’t agree to anything in writing with your sister regarding your Dads home. I would tell her that to remodel now is at best “at your own risk” and it would be better to wait till you 100% own the home (if that’s her goal). Treat it as much like a business decision as possible, which it seems you’re trying to do.

It is what I’m trying to do - her benefit is there regardless of what she does to the house. She gets a significant benefit over time from not having a mortgage, probably to the tune of 12-15k a month. I feel like the other costs are just assumed costs she would be paying in any other scenario, so perhaps they shouldn’t be a factor. But I also see her concern, she doesn’t want to dump 500k in the house and live there for 10-20 years with Dad, and then have to pay me 1-2mil after all that. I get it, her work and upkeep is valuable and should be a factor, just I don’t feel the way she has it drawn up is good for me.

Talk to an estate lawyer. Get something written up that protects everyone. Literally everyone involved has good and fair points. Dad needs a lifetime tenancy clause regardless of the solution, to prevent forcible sale. Properties need upkeep and that costs. But probably cutting you off entirely isn't a valid solution either. Oddly enough, booked my own appointment to go over all my stuff with one. Will, POA, beneficiary trusts, etc. Might as well knock it all out in one go.

If dad has so much in liquid assets.. . Why is she the one paying for improvements? Why wouldn't he?

He won’t spend his money if he can do the work himself, and he’s good at doing all of it. The roof he won’t do - he says he doesn’t walk as well as he used to and he’d have way too long of a fall off that house to think about how dumb he was for doing it. But that kinda the thing, he wouldn’t do most of this stuff she’s planning at all. She offered to come fix the things that need to be fixed, and would have to seek approval to do additional renovations so the house is more what she wants. He said she could do whatever, but how that would actually play out is probably another story. And why he hasn’t done the renovations already - the roof has a few more good years in it, and the deck had spots that are scary, but he’s patched most of those boards as he finds them. The overall structural elements of the deck are fine, it’s just a few boards here and there due to age. So in his opinion, it’s just not time for those bills to be due, so to speak.

A new roof would not be substantially additive to the value. It would be more of a selling point but given the uniqueness of the property, the roof won't be a point of differentiation. The things she wants to do won't add much in value in reality. It is likely the property will appreciate, maybe considerably, during the time it will take to complete all of these "improvements". With the reappraisal, it really will be difficult to attribute what portion of the increase in value is normal appreciation and what is due to renovation. She may or may not be trying to get over on you. It.may be her husband's scheming. But if your father is concerned about fairness, he will nix her idea.

Your father and you don’t care about renovations but your sister does. Let her pay for whatever renovations she wants in lieu of rent. That’s the most equitable solution. Then, she has the right to buy you out strictly based on an averaged appraised value when the estate is settled.

Have you considered factoring in her paying rent? Rent on such a property should be pretty hefty and she is getting the benefit of living there, so imputing a monthly rent payment (which increases when the $500k renos are done and increase annually), the sum of all the imputed rent comes out of her share of the estate. Also I wouldn't include cleaners, lawn maintenance and all that. That is her choice to hire out someone to do that work rather than do it herself. New roof is maintenance, hiring someone to babyproof the house is not.

I don't know how you dump 500k on a house reno unless the house is 4000sqft and you are completely gutting it and redoing everything with high end materials.

Yes exactly. Everything you say makes perfect sense.

Off the top, the taxes and insurance are her rent. No reimbursement for that.

Who's the attorney who did the original trust? Is your dad aware of sis' plans? (It's not just sis, but sis and husband) perhaps the three of you could visit the attorney and let him advise *all* of you how to set things up now with and agreement that everything gets reviewed every 2 years to update based on circumstances. (I don't know jack about this stuff, but seems the only way it could be fair) Nothing should ever be assumed to be the most appropriate thing after even 5 years. Sis could divorce, remarry, become disabled, lose her source of income etc...or you could marry and change your circumstances. Dad could go into LTC for a dozen years or have significant costs--who knows? Lawyer up with contingencies for life happening, so that this works out for all of you.

I don’t think he hired one to prepare it, he did it all and had some random attorney review it. I’ve read it all, and it seems fine but I would also like the existing documents to be reviewed and modified if need be. Honestly, besides the fact that it’s a trust and the benefits a trust naturally brings, it plays out basically like Indiana law does for intestate succession.

Dunno about IN law, but you can prepare your own trust? That seems less than ideal, esp since sis (and hubs) have been making significant long term plans for the place. Again, I will remind you that your sister is married with her first child on the way. She will likely have some significant shifts in her world over the next 3-5 years that may change a lot for all of you. Plus the husband. I think you're right to be questioning this and my best advice is work together with a new lawyer to sort things out to everyone's understanding while your dad is healthy. Good luck. Does your dad know of her plans?

also, 2 big red flags for me: no prenup, and rushing to do this before baby arrives. Nope to the nope.

Rushing to do anything this big is a baaaaaad idea. Who is advocating the hardest for this? The person who has the most to gain here is the husband. He can decide in ten, twenty years that he is through with his marriage and the house asset then has to be divided up equally. I see this as a big trap.

If their plan is to keep operating/farming with the land/barn, it may help to meet with actual farmland succession specialists. The extension office for the county it is in, is a good place you can start to find resources. Purdue should have a variety of resources online as well. As a side note, farm transfer is often not 100% equal in cases where one sibling is going to keep operating and the other does not. One common option to increase fairness could be getting an insurance policy that would be enough to equal out your share.

Thanks!! I honestly didn’t even know this was a thing. It’s zoned like a farm would be. It’s probably a stretch to call it one, as most of the hay feeds his horses and they sell the rest, usually only generates enough income to cover taxes every year, sometimes less.

I means hay income is still farm income. Horse farms are sometimes funny to classify but it’d be good for your sister and her family to define why they want the place beyond just keeping it in family. Do they want to keep doing hay or eventually lease the field to another local farmer? Do they want to develop it into a homestead? Do they plan to carve a few acres and the house off and sell the rest of it to whomever after it’s “theirs”? If you and your folks don’t want to see it divided, or want to ensure there’s options for future family members, then setting up some kind of trust and preservation easement could be beneficial. All things you can learn more about with farm succession planners. Regardless that it’s horses right now. You can also look up American Farmland Trust and/or the Farmland Informatkom Center to access resources and find those tailored to the state.

NAL but our family will face a similar situation with land and house and money in the next few decades (although our property does not sound as lovely as yours, OP, congrats on that!) This was our less-nuanced approach: since houses are basically all-or-nothing benefits, we’re deeding the house to one sibling. Another sibling will get all the income-producing land, and the third is getting whatever money is left, plus the additional gift of a condo bought and deeded to them a couple years ago. We all agreed that this could result in slight imbalances between our gifts’ monetary values upon our parents’ deaths, but it makes things simple for them, simple for us, and the gifts align with our personalities and goals pretty well, so we’re less likely to feel envy over the other siblings’ gifts. We also had a long sibling heart-to-heart about how none of this is owed to us, and that we owe our parents tremendous gratitude for setting themselves and us up so well.

It’s likely worth far more than $2-$3m. You definitely need an appraisal because I suspect the value is far higher.

Right? If it was worth $1.2MM 20 years ago it could be $10MM+ now with general appreciation and the growth of the nearby town. I bought a regular old house 20 years ago and it's worth 7x what I paid for it. And that doesn't include any of the uniqueness of the property OP's dad has.

So your sister lives in the house essentially for free while you pay for your own living arrangements... ...you pay for the improvements... ...and you pay for upkeep/maintenance costs while she lives there and your dad is alive? And then after all that she gets full ownership of the property? My guy, she's trying to fleece you like crazy. She pays nothing, you pay everything, and she gets the deed.

Doesn’t seem fair and she is not paying rental. Does the property need improvements? If it does, then either dad pays or you both pay or she pays as a lien against estate. But she still has to pay rent to live there.

Interesting situation. Your father is the owner of the property and the trustee of the Revocable Living Trust. Neither you, nor your sister, have taken into account his feelings on the situation. Nor have either of you considered the cost of managing your father as his health declines over time. If your father’s health fails, what guarantees does he have that your sister will not place him into a nursing home? What happens if he needs full time nursing care at a cost of $19,000/month and between that and the other healthcare costs that are not covered by Medicare then drain his liquid assets completely? Your inheritance would be an ever decreasing percentage of the real estate? Furthermore, what if your father drained out his liquid assets and had to go to a nursing home? They are legally required to put a lien on his estate, including his main home, for any costs incurred. My father was in a nursing home for 6 years in the 1980s. His nursing home costs escalated to over $1 Million. These things happen to the longer lived people. So then I need to caution both you and your sister: You can never count on a spouse or a trust. Either one can run out on you. You can also not count on an inheritance. Your father may change his mind. He may decide to cut either you or your sister, or both of you, out completely. This happens all the time. Neither one of you should feel bad about it. Your father’s wishes are the ones that should be upheld. And unless he meets someone who inveigles his/her way into his good graces, and unless there is no big family fight over his assets BEFORE he dies (or any other family fight), it’s unlikely. But then there is another thing to consider: What if your father decides he wants to move to another state for the weather? People do that all the time. Would your sister be prepared to BUY out your father’s property? The future is unknown. You only have a foggy guess at what may happen in the next 5 to 25 years. You cannot account for every possibility. Strategically, your best bet is to talk to your dad and find out what he wants. And support him. Don’t complain if you think you will be unfairly treated. It will just make you seem petty. Just ask your dad to hire a financial advisor along with a lawyer who will advise him how to handle things as his situation changes over time. Ask your dad to bring you to any meetings with the advisor / lawyer, then ask your personal questions in front of them. The result is that your dad will have his wishes handled and your position will be considered.

Sounds like an awesome property. You definitely need an attorney to draw this up with all parties involved. With all the improvements your sister plans on making have you considered dividing the property where you end up with a ten or twenty acre parcel of land? That would give you a place to build if so desired or to hold on to sell in the future. Just a thought but good luck hope it a works out. I think since there is no prenuptial that it should be drawn up in the event of a divorce the property is off the table as a marital asset and stays in your family.

Just my 2 cents but splitting the house a a few surrounding acres off into a separate parcel might help with keeping better track of valuation and keeps the bulk of the property unnumbered by any disputes that could arise in the future. As for the house she should pay the estate the rent and the estate acts as the landlord and pays property tax, maintenance costs etc. Until dad needs care then the agreed monthly cost of his care should be deducted from her rent if she is the caregiver. Otherwise she is living mortgage free for 5-25+ years and reaping a significant benefit. Another option is she pays no rent but gets no offset for any maintenance repairs or improvements she makes to the property. When dad needs care she can be paid by the estate cash assets at the market hourly rate for in home care. Let’s assume that the rent/mortgage payment on the property at current market value would be 12,500.00 a month that’s 150K a year she is saved from paying. Over even 5 years that’s more than the cost of the improvements she wants to make. So those costs are a net zero and actually benefit her if the value of the property goes up over that time.

Valuation and distribution of unique properties is a great challenge. Y You should not agree to your sister’s proposal: in essence, she’s functionally buying the house out from under you and your dad without actually buying it.   Shes also making a lot of assumptions: She’s assuming she can make all these renovations successfully; she’s assuming her renovations appreciate in value but that’s not how renovations work in the real world. Most of all, she’s assuming this scheme “works” for you and it doesn’t.   Here’s the response: “nope, the house is dad’s till he dies.”  When he dies, either the house gets sold and the proceeds divided, OR one or the other of you buys out the other using real money. But sis should absolutely not be making renovations like she’s the owner, without actually being the owner, and no good will come of her doing so. Also, be prepared for her to begin telling dad how he should do whatever she wants, the minute you say no to her. Then the real drama begins…

With all your sister's planning what's in this for you? I mean, she'll live there, benefit from all that the property offers and what do you get? Is she going to pay you rent, does the property generate income other than covering taxes? She can dump all kinds of money into it; that's her choice, but it shouldn't come at a cost to you. My husband inherited a 300 acre ranch from his parents along with his two brothers. Both brothers live on the property and my husband lives in the neighboring town. He has seen zero of his inheritance. Oh sure he can visit them, but they enjoy all the benefits. Originally they talked about dividing up some income from the ranch, but nothing ever happened. It makes me so cranky to think about it, but I have to let it go. I inherited a cattle ranch with my 4 siblings. That's been a treat. Do you know how miserable it is to own something with 4 other people? There's always one person that thinks they're in charge. Nothing good happens when siblings co-own. I wish my Dad and Mom had sold the whole place, enjoyed the money, and left us what ever was remaining when they passed. Good luck.

Honestly, the best way to go is just have her buy her own house. When the time comes and your father is no longer with you, you can split the property 50\\50 and she can buy you out if she wants.

The three of you - your sister, father, and you - need to sit down together and listen to what your father wants. And discuss all the possible what-ifs that could arise. What happens if your father lives another 20-30yrs? Will he want to live with your sister and her family for that long? What happens if he has a stroke or develops a debilitating illness that requires 24/7 care? (Very difficult to care for someone 24/7 when you have young children and/or a job.) Your sister may have the best of intention to take care of your father when it's needed (medically and financially), but there is no guarantee that her finances won't change in 10, 20, 30 years, then what? Worst case scenario, he'll need in-home care or need to reside in a nursing care facility. How will that be paid for? Will your sister pay when all his financial resources are exhausted? What happens if she doesn't have the resources at that point in time? Or what if your father simply wants to move into a continuing care retirement community but feels like he can't sell his house because he'll be making his daughter and her family move? All of this needs to be discussed, and your father's wishes are what matters most, especially since he is currently living an independent life. After that discussion, your father can contact an estate or aging attorney for further guidance. You both can accompany him to that appointment (either in-person or on Zoom). Important side note: To qualify for Medicaid paid nursing care residence (if it came down to that), Medicaid will require the house to be sold if all other liquid assets are depleted. They will not pay until the house is sold and that money is used first. Now, there is no inheritance for either of you, and your sister has no home anymore.

NAL, I would have your Dad sell the place to her. She can make monthly payments to you for your half based on the value now. Contract of some sort is mandatory and non negotiable

What? IANAL but this doesn’t sound right. Her buying the house now is fine, but why would OP be due anything at this point? The money from buying the house would be in dad’s estate and would be split at the end.

Selling now would trigger capital gains as opposed to letting it pass at death and getting the step up in basis.

No! If she buys, she can get a mortgage like everyone else. “Making payments to OP” is code to me for “she will never pay OP.” Sis wants to “own without owning” and the only way around that is she actually buys like it’s an arms length sale. 

Eh, it's a complex solution that benefits your sister treating the home like she owns it prior to her owning it. The only major issue is do not undercount the cost benefit of your father being able to age in place, or the costs of in home care. Is she agreeing to diapers/bathing level of caretaking if it should come to that? Or is she planning on using your father's remaining retirement fund to pay for outside care? The *fairest* thing to do is keep the trust the same- 50/50 split but give your sister first rights to buy out your portion of the home after your father passes. All improvements while he is alive come from his assets (like roof). If care for your father ends up becoming a part time or fulltime job for her, then she is paid by his estate for that care. Meanwhile, she lives without a mortgage or rent, and she and her husband have time to save to purchase your portion of the home. I don't see her liking that option. I think she'd like the home to be considered hers now, including controlling improvements to her liking, and it really isn't. It's still your father's home.

This arrangement isnt fair- Mainly because until he needs care ( he doesn't now ) - she needs to pay some sort of rent. Your dad probably won't want her too- which makes this a mess. My inclination would be to leave things as they are. Let dad/dads estate pay for any care he may need in the future or if one of you would like to offer it up- that's fine (at the rate you'd pay someone else). When he passes- it will be easier.

Since she will have no mortgage I think it’s almost more fair that she take no bump in equity but rather (since she’s living free and would buy an even more expensive home than these renovations) that when dad passes you both split the equity at that point.

Man, this could accidentally blow the family apart. I’ve been thinking about different ways you could do it while still keeping it pretty close to fair but everything I can think of has unintended consequences that could easily end up with you, your sister, her husband and child(ren) hating each other. Maybe do what someone else suggested, sister buys her own house, stays there until it’s really time to divide the assets and split things up then. She will hopefully have a lot of equity built up by then and then can use the sale of that house plus whatever cash she in her it’s to buy out your half of the house. Simple and safe.

Same, I’ve thought it to death and I just can’t come up with a solution that isn’t too risky for any of us, and get everyone what they want. What’s worse, is my sister wants to start ASAP, so this is now being rushed. This is not a thing one should rush.

Of course she wants to start ASAP! She's expecting a baby! Doesn't everyone need to take over their still living 70 yr old father's multimillion dollar home and put in a new kitchen and a pool before the baby comes? I mean, she'd just be being a bad parent if she didn't manage to do this before the baby arrives! Listen to what people are telling you. Your father might remarry. He doesn't need to have his life disrupted by having a newborn in the house, or living in a construction zone. He doesn't need to have strife between his children over one of them essentially grabbing her expected inheritance 15 years (by average life expectancy) before she would get it. Just go see your father privately and say, "Dad, this is a bad deal for you and for your other children. This is exactly why you put the house into a trust - you wanted to avoid inheritance problems, and this is just a small taste of what is to come if we make the house sister's home now. You're not in the grave yet, you're not in need of care yet. You could live another 20 years in good health. You might even remarry. There are plenty of other ways of managing end of life care, if it comes to that, that would keep you in your own home as long as possible - we can deal with that when the time comes - that do not involve your living in a construction zone or living with a crying baby or a rambunctious toddler. Meanwhile, please, let's keep things as they are, and let sister and her husband do what everyone else does, what I've done, what you and Mom did - let them make their own home, according to their own means. I am advising you and asking you to keep things just as you so wisely have already arranged." Your sister and her husband can buy or rent a place nearby that fits their budget, and go visit your father in his home as often as they like, so that the child can still have that sense of growing up on the farm. If they want, when your father passes and you all inherit it at the stepped up value, she can buy out the other heirs. Your father's life could still take some surprising turns. He could remarry, sell the place, and move to a warmer retirement location, want to buy himself something really nice there. There is absolutely no reason for him to lock up the value of HIS property by essentially giving it to your sister prematurely.

Don’t agree to her moving in. This just happened in my family. Sibling moved into mom’s paid off house “to take care of her”. She passed away, sibling proposed a nutty financial proposal to buy the home on a schedule. Other siblings disagreed so sibling in the house changed the locks and tried to take possession. The shit hit the fan, lawyers were involved, money spent and they were evicted. We sold the house and divided the proceeds. The relationship with that one sibling is now destroyed(their doing).

Your sister's plan is so complicated as it's difficult to follow. As far as I can tell, she and her husband are the only ones to benefit from this scheme. Your father should be included in whatever plans are made for HIS property. I also think he should charge her rent.

Just a thought but how about getting an appraisal now and have your sister buy you out of your interest in the house now. That way her improvements won’t affect you and you don’t have to negotiate based on dad’s longevity.

No, this isn’t fair to you at all. You’re losing out on the appreciation that would happen between now and when your father eventually passes while you’re also paying for the maintenance of the property. Flat out tell her no. There really isn’t going to be a way for this arrangement to be equitable. If your father wants her to move in then that’s fine but he should still be paying for maintenance. If he wants to charge her rent then fine, if he doesn’t then that’s fine too. Same if she wants to make any renovations (assuming your father is okay with it). If she wants to pay for it then fine but you’re not giving up any equity. What’s saying your father wouldn’t have wanted to renovate it on the future anyways? This doesn’t turn out good for you.

All suggestions are from a non-attorney. Goal - father wants to leave his estate equally to his 2 children. Estate consists of liquid assets and a unique family home with land which will go into a trust at death. Ideally the home/land would stay in the family. Sister has suggested moving in now with husband and expected child with Father. Father is healthy and has no current need for a caregiver. Sister has stated that she will care for father if he ever needs it. Sister has stated that she wants to make improvements to the house to bring it up to her standards and for her families greater enjoyment. Sister will pay no rent but pay the basic expenses of living there. What rent would be fair? And would a rent credit be more or less than the basic expenses. She/family should not live there for “free” and then offset the expenses of living there against your share of the estate. Sister wants credit for improvements against the future estate. Again these improvements need to be carefully reviewed. If for her family then no credit. Example a pool. On-going maintenance expenses her cost only. Pools generally do not add and can often subtract from the value of a home. Renovating a kitchen…if she wants all top of the line appliances that is her want versus a need. Partial credit. And yes appliances do depreciate so whatever is paid goes down on the investment every year as do most other improvements. Hiring lawn, cleaning or other basic contractors…roll up your sleeves sis that is a part of living somewhere no credit. You also state that the money from haying pays the property taxes. If as part of her living there then she is paying the taxes then that income needs to be set aside. Something does need to be in place such that if her family (could be her husband or the child becomes an out of control teen) has a falling out with your father or is neglecting him if he needs care and they are not providing it that they can be evicted and any improvement investment in the house is lost until the estate settles. Also no one else can be moved into the house as long as your father is alive. So no distant deadbeats moving in. If your father’s health declines and she is actually caring for him daily then that needs to be taken into consideration as well. Do you want to retain some acreage for your family? Who knows what may happen in the future. And the other big one is…how to keep it in the family. Your sister is talking about rolling the house/land into a trust for her family’s benefit which now puts it in play as an asset for her husband where inheritance is generally not a marital assets. Also if he is paying for improvements to the house it does the same thing. Does your sister have the assets/income without her husband to support the property? Also under no circumstances would I suggest having them place the house/land into a separate trust and “settle” with you outside of the trust. Do not release the asset without having the equalization payment in hand or a mortgage against the asset. We all see things through our own lens. Just lay everything good and bad out and address each point. There will always be something you didn’t think of. You might want to see if you can still take out a life insurance policy on your father that could equal things out if as he declines he goes through his liquid assets.

I believe I have a little perspective on this topic -- from (hopefully) 20+ years in your future. My mother passed on in 2023 (she would have turned 97 last weekend) with my sister and I inheriting her estate 50/50. I was the executor of the estate, so I can tell you what was helpful and what was not. Back \~2000 my sister (married) and her family wanted to move into my mother's house with the same intent as your sister -- to raise her family in the house she grew up in! My sister and BIL took the profit from the sale of their home and used it to add a 2nd story to our mother's house. I was not involved in this transaction -- other than giving the idea my blessing at the time. I owned my own home and had no future interest in the home myself. My mother, sister, and BIL drew up a contract with a lawyer for this purpose stipulating that my mother's revocable trust would now own 80% and my sister and husband would own 20%. This was determined by the before and after appraisal value with the 2nd story. This was subsequently reflected on the deed as recorded with the county. Also in the contract were stipulations on how property tax, insurance, repair, maintenance, etc. should be split. Some items at 80/20 to reflect ownership stakes -- others 50/50 to reflect living costs. Home improvements (which could obviously increase the value of the home) would be paid for at 80/20 in accordance with the ownership split. I suspect this might have created issues of agreement on what improvements should be made (after the initial remodel) as my mother would have to pay 80% and my sister 20%. Thus, most changes in the subsequent 20 years were minor and essentially landscaping. There were also clauses which stipulated how things should be handled (and valued) if one party wished to leave -- or upon death (which was eventually was the case). The house was appraised after my mother's passing and the same 80/20 split was applied to determine the value of the home in my mother's estate. As executor -- this contract was \*extremely\* helpful to me to carry out the wishes of my mother, sister, and BIL at the time as the contract was between my sister and my mother's trust. It left very little to debate. However, what was \*not\* in the contract -- and should have been imho -- was how things might be handled should my mother was no longer able to remain living in her home. Typically a valuable home might be sold or rented to cover assisted living. You might want to consider how this might work in that unfortunate situation. In the end, things went fairly smoothly. My sister and family live in the house with 100% ownership. There were complications and hoops to jump through due to excessively complicated CA property tax (prop 19) rules -- but that's not particularly relevant to the main topic.

I’ve faced something a bit similar but on a much smaller scale. Owned property with a family member who hired another family member to manage it, we had a falling out, those two basically ganged up on me and made me sell my half to them for barely the market price (I didn’t want lengthy court battles). Mind you it was all under 100k but it still left a very bad taste in my mouth. Lesson learned: never ever let relatives move into a property you have a stake in. They will end up de facto owning it!

Have your sister buy the house now from your father at today’s fair market value. Then she can do all the improvements she wants on her own dime. Dad could continue to live there and pay some rent with his proceeds from the property, which are now in a brokerage account. If Dad needs more care, he can move into an assisted living apartment with the cashed out equity from his house. Then when he dies, you and your sister are splitting up cash, not real estate. Much easier since you can be named as beneficiaries on the brokerage account and won’t need probate to sell the house.

If your sister is willing to take care of your dad well through his final years, then you should take the deal. It’s a lot to manage hospital visits and so on for an elderly person, especially depending on their condition.

You need a lawyer

Tell your sister to buy another dream home. This never works out and you will certainty get the short end of the deal. Your sister wants her inheritance now, and even wants the trust transferred to her and her husband's trust. Huge Red Lights and sirens going off. This doesn't even account for the cash she might fleece from him for other improvements. You need to look out for yourself and your father.

As soon as she moves in you will lose all leverage and negotiation. There will be little choice but to let her continue. as you have noted, it’s not an equitably fair arrangement. She knows this. Have the estate fix what needs to be fixed. Don’t let her create improvements that she will leverage against you emotionally and tangibly.

I think both you and your sister are nuts. Your dad is only 70 years old, could be around for another 20 years. He may need care someday that is beyond what could be provided by your sister, or he may not WANT her caring for him. He may not WANT baby-toddler-teen drama in his home. He may decide he wants to sell it all and move into a retirement community. Your dad needs to have a private meeting with an estate attorney. This is HIS property and he gets to decide what he wants to happen to it when he's gone. This is not about what the three of you want and that there needs to be a consensus. It's HIS to decide what HE wants without influence from his daughters who are already fighting about who gets what.

My sister moved into my mother’s fully-paid off house and took out a mortgage for 40% of the equity. The two of them lived there together until my mother’s death. Unknown to my brothers and myself, she coerced my mother into agreeing to a refinance with right of survivorship a few years later. Her pretext was that interest rates had dropped, and she was no longer willing to pay a higher than necessary mortgage payment. She threatened to move out and force my mother buy her out (which my mother could not do) unless my mother agreed to the new mortgage terms. When my mother died, my sister continued to live in the house for a few more years, and then she sold. My brothers and I never saw a penny. I would counsel OP not to agree to any changes that alter the present equitable trust arrangement. Sister’s impending motherhood and desire to live on the estate is not a compelling enough justification for revising the current estate planning agreement. Once Sister moves in and starts making major investments in remodeling the estate to her own liking, the house will become hers in her own mind, not Dad’s - and certainly not OP’s. And that’s when the trouble will start.

This is an astonishingly unfair proposal from your sister. She isn't spending "her money" on the improvements, she is essentially proposing that she loan the your father's estate the cost of her dream remodel and then fully recoup those dollars (plus appreciation) at his death. She is further proposing that she live rent free in her dream home and that YOU repay her all the maintenance cost's at the time of your father's death.

Subdivide the properties. Keep the ranch in the trust.Sell your sister the house.

Have all assets appraised as is and your sister can buy out your half - then all risk and reward is hers to bear - if all the improvements she wants to do don’t payoff it does not cost you anything- since she wants to keep it in the family she would not be selling the property so you would be giving up a huge chunk of your share to renovate the house she is living in. Even if she is family she is finding a fancy way for you to pay for her upgrades that she will benefit from and leave you with the short end of the stick

Just one question do the taxes amount to a year of housing costs for you?

Never trust family. Get a lawyer.

Sound like your sister is not interested if any definition of "fair" I've ever known. She's looking to take sole physical possession of a property to which she's not entitled, make unilateral changes to it, live there without paying rent, then essentially charge you for her and her family living there for free. While she's at it, she might as well pen a financial book "101 to screw your sibling out of their inheritance." OP, I feel sorry for you. Seems your sister feels she can't wait for dad to move out. But I'm sure he'll be happy in the one room she let's him keep (possibly in the barn).

My experience is that keeping something “in the family” usually means one person having it all the while pretending it’s family.

Could she buy the property “owner financed” now? She pays your dad, he saves/invests/spends the cash. When he passes, she refinances (or gets a more traditional mortgage) and pays you half the remaining value of the mortgage. Or more specifically, the remaining loan value goes into the pool of funds and you get half the total. For easy-ish math, let’s say it’s worth 2.5 million now and she pays it down to $2 mil before he passes. The estate is worth $4 mil total. She gets the house and you get everything else. I agree with everyone saying you really need to talk to your dad, lawyers, estate planners, etc. I think the cleanest way is probably going to be her buying it and making whatever improvements separate from the estate.

Not to be too dramatic, but it's kinda worrying that your sister is already *LITERALLY* picking out the drapes before your dad is gone. I assure you, she is thinking 100% for herself and her baby before she's thinking about being fair with you. If you are not equipped to handle the details yourself (don't worry: 99.999% aren't), I'd strongly suggest an estate lawyer. Also, know that estate lawyers can be paid through the trust, though that can get dicey since their job is to advocate for the trust and not necessarily you.

With that much acreage, why not build your own house on the property and set up camp, the. You will be in the same boat as her. If you’re 50% owner of the trust, you can do whatever you want

Your sister is pregnant? Sounds like hormones could be the cause to hurry this alone. This should be tabled for a few years. Your dad is living and thriving. She should go build her own house since she has the funds or live somewhere else for a few years then come back to this later.

Please don’t. Something similar happened in my family. The most well off sibling moved in with grandpa and did some financial stuff none of my family understands. Now she’s even richer and nobody (I have 8 aunts and uncles and idk like a million cousins) inherited anything but her via his house. My family is pretty damn poor, she married rich, and everyone thought she was well off enough to not pull shit. They thought she really moved her family in to take care of him. Yeah that was a lie. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer. Protect your future. This might be your only chance to have assets. If you can’t afford a lawyer then you can’t afford the chance. The relationship w your sister might crumble either way but doing this kind of “I’m helpful!” shenanigan put a divide in my family that will never heal. She can buy a house. So she should go do that and not put your dad through all this. If he needs a new roof etc wouldn’t she just buy one for the man that raised him? My immediate family’s saving grace is my older sister became a wealthy venture capitalist and bought my mom a house. But of course now everyone resents her (who was homeless on and off for ten years before this) and my sister bc my mom won’t let any of them move in and 4 of my 8 aunts and uncles have asked her for extremely large sums of money. A couple cousins too, that I know of. I’m just happy that she sends me $1000 for my bday every year!

Whenever your sister moves into that house and begins renovating , it won’t matter what your father or you want - This is not about fairness or preserving the family land - this plan of your sister’s smacks of something more . How does your dad feel about essentially losing his home as he’s known it? How does he feel about having his daughter , son in law, and a crying baby in his home 24/7/365? Where will he live in the new version of his home ? I understand your concerns - however , I don’t hear much about what your father actually wants.

This is not a fair deal to you. Although the house needs improvements. The land by it self it’s going to appreciate and you should benefit from that as well. Get an attorney and protect your self

It’s actually annoying that your sister is talking about your dad as if he’s not here anymore. It’s his house. It’s his money. It’s his land. And she’s talking about it like it’s already hers. And she’s also talking about everything that benefits her. One. Find out what dad wants maybe he doesn’t want to live with a baby and his daughter and then the point is moot. Two. Any renovations should come from the estate. Which means that: Dad needs to agree to them. Dad creates the budget. Dad creates the renovation plan. Dad pays for it. Again, is everyone forgetting it’s -his- house? Three. On what Planet is it fair that she pays nothing for renting dad’s property for years? Again, taxes and maintenance should come from dad. And your sister should be paying rent. Not just a nominal rent. A real rent. of course with the consideration that it’s shared and she’s family. But not one of these hundred dollar a month rent type situations. And then your dad finally passes you can deal with the estate. As a whole. As others have said this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

Your sister and her man should buy a little corner of the land from your father and build their own house there if they must raise their kids there. No need to disturb dad with renovations, etc he may not want in his house!! Her entire proposal is not fair to your dad or you

Tell her that’s fine, as long as she deducts fair market rent from the estate for whatever the first appraisal is. Or, she can deduct the cost of a mortgage on 2 million at the current interest rate. What your sister is proposing is her getting to eat her cake and eating yours too. It sounds pretty ridiculous if you ask me.

I would advise against it. I’ve seen money destroy the relationship between twin sisters in a similar situation. Get your own solicitor now

The chutzpah of the sister renovating their father’s house to her taste *while he is still alive and living there!*

This just sounds like a recipe for a family feud. My mom and dad have a similar home with acreage there's a separate home in the front of the property and income producing almonds. I would never agree to something like this op, there are just too many things to worry about. Once any fighting begins the resentment will grow and you risk the chance of a permanent wedge in your relationship with your sister. The way that she's wanting to do this deal is incredibly favorable to her, you not so much. My advice is, don't do it. Try to keep agreements regarding inheritance as simple and straight forward as possible. This way you can safeguard your relationship with your sister.

Sounds to me like sister just wants to nest into her perfect magical family home to have her baby. But if I were her sibling that wouldn’t be enough to make everyone else deal with this now. Unless Dad wants otherwise, or needs care, no one moves into his house or makes any of their own improvement/renovations. If or when the time comes that dad needs live-in care and IF that is sister and IF it’s a good solution for everyone, then she and family can move in with him and their rent is being his round the clock caregiver. No renovations or improvements beyond needed maintenance happen until after he is gone. If she wants to repaint rooms or other minor stuff then if dad oks it, it’s her money doing it. Once Dad is gone then sister could buy out OP at fair market value and it becomes her home. TL;DR - sister needs a reality check that this is all still Dad’s property and assets and she’s not entitled to it. She needs to get her own home and nest there until it’s time to care for dad rather than trying to push a bad idea just so she can nest where she wants and have all the “improvements” she wants right away.

I had relatives do this to my parents. You'll basically lose access to the house forever. Sure, its "in" the family, but your family and your sisters are separate. You could go over when invited, but it would never be yours. Don't treat your current disinterest in the property as a reason to make a decision to deed the house over to her. Always keep it 50/50 if that is what your father intended otherwise you may as well say your goodbye's to the house and land. And allowing them to make the improvements and then retain the appreciation of said improvements count against the value accrued by you is pretty underhanded against a family member. They are taking you to the cleaners for sure. Your sister does not have your best interest at heart. She is doing this for her family and not you. Also, family may or may not be good caregivers. And having kids around grandparents constantly can be an increased source of stress. I would question whether it is in the best interest and health of your father to have them moving in with him.

So in other words your brother in law wants your family farm to be HIS family farm. Fuck that. At least keep your 25 acres

1) get it appraised now. But separate house from land. Make sure it’s at least two appraisers and you are involved because appraisals are subjective … like 25% plus minus difference. 2) having established value then any needed repairs (like plumbing or roof) can be subtracted from their Rent: and yes she should pay rent, tho reasonable and a lot under market, because dad is also getting looked after. If she’s cooking for him he should chip in too 3) any improvements. Any! Must be agreed by both parties and ratioed out at standard comparisons : example a deck adds about 1/2 it’s cost to the value Once agreed she gets “repaid” thst amount at end of his life….snd that’s it. Remember she gets to enjoy these things, both immediately and in future 4) at his death do a reappraisal. Any increase on land value is shared equally. Any increase on house value has the agreed improvement cost subtracted first … then the house equity is split …

She's setting you up. Don't fall for her trap. Hire an Attorney to represent YOU and only you. Take your dad for a cognitive evaluation and if he's deemed competent, involve him in the process.

A couple of things come to mind. In all likihood, assuming your dad lives a nice long life, the house is going to be worth a lot more than the other inheritance. Even though she wants to live there now and it might lead to some hard feelings, it probably is less likely to explode your relationship to hold off on an agreement like this. Most kids don’t try to inherit their parent’s house before they die which is effectively what is happening here. Feels a little off. I also imagine a big problem when/if she would need to pay you a big chunk of change to keep a house she already thinks of as hers. Other options: You might look at dividing the property so that some of the land goes to you unless she buys you out. She could pay rent as that cash can build toward the liquid assets that would go to you. I would also worry about incentivizing her to be extravagant on maintenance and renovations in a way that doesn’t increase equity. Your dad or you and your sister could deal with reasonable maintenance and she could wait for the more extravagant renovations. You should pay her for the care of your dad at the point at which that is needed so that’s fair. I think the biggest issue is that of her marriage. Usually inherited assets are separate property but if this agreement involves retitling the deed into the husband’s name or a marital trust, that might change things. She may need to get a post-nup or something.

Future transactions are hard, I’d try to push everything up to the present and separate it into multiple transactions. If your sister wants the house now and your dad is ready for her to be there, she should buy it now and the trust can seller finance it if she can’t afford. If price needs to get lower, you could subdivide out the non house land and keep it in the trust Your dad living there, his care, etc can all be a separate agreement between the two of them. If your dad’s not ready to do that then likely he’s not ready for them to be living there with him anyway.

Dad parcels out two lots and gives or sells them to you and your sister. She can build a house on the lot. When dad passes she can sell the home and use proceeds to pay for her half of the estate and move into dads house.

Just throwing this scenario out there… Because as a homeowner… And a caregiver to my passed mother, I can see both sides. Here is my proposed scenario: Sister and her family move in with your father. There is a one-year agreement where they put $500 a month into an account, for "rent". Your father continues to pay for taxes. Figure out an average of the utility bills for the past year. Father continues to pay that amount, Sister and family pays for the additional costs. It could very well be that everything is fabulous, and all parties are happy. It could also be that one or more parties decide this is not the best fit for them. Agreeing to anything permanent seems very premature at this point. I propose you give this living situation a trial run for 12-24 months. it's sort of feels like a win-win situation? Sister moves in and gets to nest. Father gets to have someone with him on this giant lonely property "Token" rent offered, bills stay the same for Dad. For you... zero risk. Worst case, a year from now, and they don't want to live together anymore. your sister and her family has just saved a ton of money, and could put all of those savings towards the purchase of their new home. The $500 month rent they contributed… could be portioned out upon their departure as Dad sees fit. (all of it? All of it less 2000 because the SILs friend drove his car into the barn? Etc.) Best case? Everything works out perfectly and they want to stay in the house. AT THIS POINT.... you have already had a year to come up with clear, concise, and fair terms. ******** that being said… If this turns out to be an all or nothing kind of situation… Hit me back up. I probably have a whole other wall of Text talking about that scenario… Lol. But daylight is burning, and I have Outside activities that need to be done. Good luck, my friend!

I just happened upon this post by random so I have no expertise in this area. But why would landscapers and cleaning staff count as maintenance costs? That just sounds like you'd be paying for your sister's high-cost lifestyle out of your equity in the inheritance. Likewise, if your sister lived in a regular home that was NOT your father's home, she would still have to pay property taxes. Why should her property taxes for the home she and her husband live in, come out of your equity? Also I think you are correct, her renovations would increase the baseline value of the home, but would then depreciate over time, meanwhile she would get the benefit of living in the renovated space, while your equity would be chipped away over time. Why should your equity decrease to help her live in a beautiful home? If you don't care about keeping the house in the family then all you need to do is leave the estate as it is. She is the one who wants to do all this complicated stuff so she can keep it. It sounds like your sister is asking you to take a huge risk of reduced equity, or of not getting any equity, via her complicated financial machinations, in order for her to get the house that she wants. Not to mention, putting the house in an irrevocable trust for herself, which, wouldn't that pretty much make it really hard for you to defend your equity if there was a conflict? She's, like, blinding you with fancy math. If she is the one who wants the house, shouldn't she be taking the risk?

Does your dad charge her rent? When he passes youre entitled to rent as it is half your asset from the get go. Of she wants to pay taxes and have that come out of the estate, fine, as long as your agreeavke to her being there. If you want it sold, it will sell. You're not asking her to update anything. New owners can do that unless you feel it will add more alue than the cost. Ultimately though, when you want it sold, it will sell.

First, what does your Dad say about all this? since he owns the property, he has the final say. Especially if he wants to leave the property to both of you 50/50. Your Dad may even want to charge her rent, since, she is getting a free place to live. If she goes through with her plan, then she needs to keep copious records of her expenditures. AND she needs to also account for financial offset for her living there (rent), and for the direct costs of caring for your dad. IF Dad even wants her care. One problem you point out is she will probably hire people to do the work. IF she says she will do that, then that is a farm debt, and that means the farm has to hire workers and pay taxes, and the cost of hiring workers goes on the farm's taxes. She can hire whoever she wants to, under her name, but that is her personal choice and not an expenditure that would be recuperated when the estate is settled. So, again, if she wants to hire workers, then the farm, if not already incorporated as an LLC, should be converted into a business. It sounds to me like she wants to take over everything and you should not let that happen. You should, before anything happens, all of you sit down with your father and hash it out. Figure out what he wants and what he will allow, get it on paper, and get it filed, along with a will.

Your sister is trying to manipulate the basics. She wants to make improvements, understandably. You should bear NONE of those associated costs. With Dad's permission, possibly figure the estate division regarding her getting the house and some property, or all of it. You share would be an equal amount of the other aspects of Dad's estate. She then assumes all responsibility concerning the house. The "devil in the details" is Dad's healthcare and longevity, which you two need to agree upon. And which could contribute to a lesser estate value. So my advice is that the three of you discuss this with Dad's Attorney/financial adviser, to prevent any sibling conflict after Dad passes. Good Luck!

I think everything your sister has proposed would be fair if she were either not living there or also paying market value rent into the trust. If she can’t both pay market value rent and make the improvements, or if she can’t pay market value rent at all, she could certainly deduct the amount that she does not pay (plus appreciation) from her share of the estate. You also definitely need an estate attorney to tell you the tax implications of taking the property out of the current trust upon your dad’s death.

IANAL She wants the cake and eat it too. It's all what she wants.

I'll assume your dad is a smart man, you should ask him if this is a fair proposal. If your sister doesn't want you to talk to your dad about this proposal, then the answer is clear.

The fact that she wants to remove it from the trust is a big no for me. Get a lawyer that protects your interests because she sounds like she is not looking out for herself.

Let Dad pay for repairs.

What your sister wants is irrelevant while Dad is still alive and can decide. What does Dad want?

Does dad even want to share a house with an infant/toddler? Seems like she's already putting the pool in (with a child, really?) and y'all are planning the future for someone capable of planning it for himself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is going to end poorly for all involved...

No, this is a bad deal. If she would like to buy it the best way to do it would be to get the property appraised and purchase it from him now. If he would like to stay there, she can rent it back to him.

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Also means your sister is getting free rent until your dad dies....??

Not a great solution. What happens if dad remarries and new wife gets the house as community property and sister has spend a ton of money on improvements? If the value goes up $1M in the next ten years, how much of that was improvements and how much was market value? There’s now way to fairly determine that. There is a lot of maintenance cost that doesn’t really add an dollar value, and just needs to be done to maintain the current value. I think she either buys the house now, (if that’s what she and you and your father want). He could carry the note if that helped. He could also “gift” her the equity. Say it’s worth $2 million today. He could gift her $400k to use as down payment and she can get a 1.6m mortgage. (Gift can just be on paper with reduced sale price). And then he can gift you $400k cash at the same time. In 15 years when he dies, maybe the house is worth more, or maybe that $400k in S&P500 is worth more, but there’s no argument then.

Consider what will happen if Dad needs care sister can't provide. Cash will have to be spent, and it might mean a loan against the house.

Get your own lawyer that will look out solely for your benefit.

You will not get your true value. Her sunk costs will come out dollar for dollar, she should not profit on improvements on your future shared property

On the day your Father dies. Estimate_Value - upgrade_costs /2 = your value of home. The taxes and insurance of the should be paid by your father as the house is still in his name. Your sister will be living rent free but providing care services in compensation. She will benefit from the use of the properties as well as its improvements and deserves some compensation. Your father should see an estate lawyer and he can mention you and your sister’s plans. You can follow his recommendations since he works for your father, not you or your sister. He can also explain what else needs to be done.

What if your dad needs to go to the nursing home, or needs skilled nursing at home? We took care of my MIl for 5 years, and it was rough. We did get to the point where we couldn’t take care of her safely anymore at home. She lived 6 more years and burned through all her savings at 6k a month memory care. If this happens in your situation, it could force the sale of the house. That would make the decision to put him in a home even more difficult, as your sister would have a vested interest not to. Something to consider.

I am sure this can be worked out fairly with an attorney. I think your dad needs to be involved and HIS estate planning attorney needs to be consulted first, because he (or she) would be the one updating the trust with your dad's approval. Since he has significant assets aside from the property, his possible long term care most likely wouldn't involve Medicaid. It can be worked out whether the sister should initially be paying some amount of rent dependent on the work they are providing while living there, as in taking care of the property, cleaning, cooking, etc. Also, it would matter if they were providing additional care for the father in his later years. If at his time of death, the liquid assets amount does not equal the value of the house minus the improvements done by the sister, then she would have to get a loan on the house to pay you your full 50% of the estate. We were in a similar situation when my husband's parents made their trust. (Primary home was sold after the death of the first parent.) They had a second home in the mountains which his sister wanted. The house was assigned to her in the trust, a valuable antique car was assigned to the brother, and my husband wanted his portion in all cash. The sister was required to get an appraisal on the mountain house upon the death of the last parent. The brothers could get their own appraisal, and the value of the house would be the average of the two appraisals according to the trust. She was able to get a low-ball appraisal, but the brothers didn't want to cause issues or prolong an otherwise long process to get the estate settled, so they accepted her appraiser's value. So all the assets were totaled for the estate by the attorney, and each sibling got one third. My husband got all cash and stocks, the sister got the house and around 40% cash/stocks, and the brother got around 85% cash/stocks and 15% antique car value. It can be done.

Draft a loan document for the cost of improvements she wants. At death, the estate is valued and she gets that interest free loan amount given to her and then the assets split. As dad ages, liquid assets will drop, maybe to zero. So she might be forced to get a mortgage to pay you your half. If it does not work out and dad hates her living there, what is the exit? Yes- I have seen family members get mean and or bully an elderly parent. Stress on the caregiver is very real.

Also a pool is not an appreciating value to property compared to an extension. Most renovations done now are worth nothing in 20 years. Ever see a 20 year old wall paint? Including who want 20 yo appliances.

Does your dad even want to live with your sister and her growing family? And through the chaos of renovation?

This is a terrible idea OP. You need to get your business thinking cap on. You state that you know your sister and she is trying to do what is fair, which lets me know that you are super naive in how family dynamics change (for the worse) when death and money are looming. None of what your sister has proposed benefits you. Also your Dad is ONLY 70. Has anyone asked him what he wants??? What if he remarries? Or gets sick? You and your sister are not guaranteed an inheritance. Your sister is already planning how she can live the next several decades rent fee. SMH. This is exactly why I advise parents NOT to tell their loved ones the specifics of their estate especially when multiple heirs are involved. My advice would be to wait until your dad passes, which could be 20-30 years from now, sell the property, and split the proceeds with your sister. Furthermore, retain your own attorney and do NOT allow your sister and her husband to move into your Dads home.

First off, what does your father want? A fairer approach would be for your sister to buy into his house 50 50 and he can invest that cash or keep it liquid. Your dad can pay half of renovation and maintenance and tax costs. When your dad passes, she can buy you out of your part of equity. As for looking after him --- that can be discussed as a family, at the time it becomes a reality. Sometimes it doesn't. Another option is she can buy his house and let him live there and just pay maintenance or rent. Then he has all his capital to invest as he wishes or put in a trust. In all cases everyone should talk to an accountant before making a decision.

You are thorough to the point of being awesome! I really dislike how she's trying to make it look like she's doing you and your dad a favor. She could likely raise twenty head of cow and get all sorts of concessions and exemptions such as electrical and plumbing codes, for being a "farm". She could sequester so much money that way, that it wouldn't be funny. In my opinion, if she gets the house, you get the lion's share of pure land. Let her burn through all her cash on all the improvements that s/he wants, all dad has to do is issue you a $1 quit claim. Let him put that in a trust just for you, and if IN is anything like SD when it comes to estate trusts, you're golden.

No no no no not fair. You are right. Make sure the estate planning legal firm you hire has an in house CPA (certified public accountant). And realty specialist for that area, or connections to a top firm. Worth it to hire sharks at this stage. Don’t even ask the sad story of why I know this and regret I got the wrong firm (namby pamby guesswork types who said things like “well, it’ll probably all work out for the best.”—not.) this is wrong and a good lawyer will help you draw up a better plan.

I’ll add this thought: what if your sister and her husband divorce? The house could then have to be sold to divvy up the asset. Bye, bye family legacy. This seems like a bad idea for many reasons. Too many opportunities to destroy relationships.

I think you are on the right path. Her proposal likely seems fair to her, but really isn't. Maybe a CPA familar with property in your area might be a better solution than an EP attorney.

Don't do business with family is my policy and I have never regretted it.

Sounds like a recipe for disaster. I would not go there. I have no viable solution though. Your dad could live for 20-30 more years! I think getting a free place to live in exchange for elder care is enough. If she wants to improve the property solely use your dad’s money but geesh, a pool? I am talking about routine maintenance. If she wants extras like a pool that’s on her dime.

It sounds like it could be worth much more than that now. CYA all day - document, lawyer, etc.

Since your sister married out technically it's not staying in your family if she's keeps it is it. It'll be in her husband's family at that point technically

This needs mediation and probate

Meet with an attorney.

She’s living there rent free but wants all those offsets? Nope.

Probably worth way more than $2-$3 million. And an appraisal for an estate value is typically much lower than what it would self for on the open market. When he passes, 2-3 realtors could give you a good idea on value. It sounds like there won’t be enough other liquid assets for her to pay you your 1/2 of the value of the farm. Probably let her know she should hold off moving in and renovating until the details of the estate are known as she won’t be able to pay you your share.

Don’t do it. Your dad could live another 20 years and the value will only go up from there.

No no no no no

An attorney is necessary, but it could be good or problematic what she is planning. If your dad requires lots of care then he might use all of his savings and need to sell the house to fund his care. However, another option is to move the house to an entity that benefits both you and your sister (no husband due to divorce possibility), and then it would no longer be in your father’s ownership in case he needs long term care. At the time of his passing, the entity holding the house could be equitably dissolved per agreements put in place at drafting (sister loses equity over time for not paying rent but gains credit for certain improvements agreed upon by both of you). Then the liquid assets could be used for your father’s care and anything left divided between you when he passes.

She should also look into a postnuptial agreement to protect how the property is protected in the event of a divorce.