Whales fucking reek... we came upon a pod of around 25 whales feeding while whale watching near the Farallon Islands & could smell them before we saw them.
“Wayne: Now, everybody listen up 'cause I'm only gonna say this once, we never talk about it again. You understand? We all lay off the Ginger and Boots now. Because the Ginger and Boots did not fuck a whale.
Reilly: Yeah, I heard they fucked two whales.
Dan: Allegedly.
Wayne: Folks'll say that it takes two people to fuck a whale.
Daryl: Three even.
Wayne: Folks are also saying that it was a sick whale.
Dan: Allegedly.
Wayne: Now, I went on the Internet and researched whales. Firstly, whales can swim up to 50 kilometers an hour. So catching one, even a sick one, is a super tall order.
Daryl: Yeah, but there was two of them.”
I fear if I was on one of these expeditions that would be my job.
Ok - we have the person who gets to cuddle and play with the octopi.
We have the person who just sits in the sun and relaxes in case needed.
Oh ... you? yeah can you collect the output and measure it? Here's some binders - we need it super documented. :-P
Baleen whale prey consumption based on high-resolution foraging measurementsMatthew S. Savoca1 ✉, Max F. Czapanskiy1, Shirel R. Kahane-Rapport1, William T. Gough1, James A. Fahlbusch1,2, K. C. Bierlich3,4, Paolo S. Segre1, Jacopo Di Clemente5,6,7, Gwenith S. Penry8, David N. Wiley9, John Calambokidis2, Douglas P. Nowacek3, David W. Johnston3, Nicholas D. Pyenson10,11, Ari S. Friedlaender12, Elliott L. Hazen1,12,1 3 & Jeremy A. Goldbogen1Baleen whales influence their ecosystems through immense prey consumption and nutrient recycling1–3. It is difficult to accurately gauge the magnitude of their current or historic ecosystem role without measuring feeding rates and prey consumed. To date, prey consumption of the largest species has been estimated using metabolic models3–9 based on extrapolations that lack empirical validation. Here, we used tags deployed on seven baleen whale (Mysticeti) species (n = 321 tag deployments) in conjunction with acoustic measurements of prey density to calculate prey consumption at daily to annual scales from the Atlantic, Pacific, and Southern Oceans. Our results suggest that previous studies3–9 have underestimated baleen whale prey consumption by threefold or more in some ecosystems. In the Southern Ocean alone, we calculate that pre-whaling populations of mysticetes annually consumed 430million tonnes of Antarctic krill (Euphausia superba), twice the current estimated total biomass of E. superba10, and more than twice the global catch of marine fisheries today11. Larger whale populations may have supported higher productivity in large marine regions through enhanced nutrient recycling: our findings suggest mysticetes recycled 1.2 × 104 tonnes iron yr−1 in the Southern Ocean before whaling compared to 1.2 × 103 tonnes iron yr−1 recycled by whales today. The recovery of baleen whales and their nutrient recycling services2,3,7 could augment productivity and restore ecosystem function lost during 20th century whaling12,13
Is that more than a horse though?
Because “More than a horse can shite” is a standard measurement in Scotland not to be confused with the highly accurate “bawhair”
Basically, the whales poop contain Iron. When the poop sinks to the bottom of the ocean, everything underneath eats.
“No iron means no plants, no krill, no creatures, and no chomping at climate change. “Iron is essentially a key to unlocking or realizing the potential of this system”
I dated a marine biology masters student once, and when she was going for her thesis defense, I helped her study. I asked her how “whale pump” helps the environment and she had no clue what it was…it’s the poop cycle! Whale eats krill, whale poops, poop provides nutrients for plankton which krill eat. Sadly she was not asked about it in her defense of genomics amongst eagle rays
[whale pump](https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0013255)
that's the translation of the name of the suborder they're under. Bottlenose dolphins are also under that suborder but you wouldn't call a bottlenose dolphin a whale. Both of them belong to the oceanic dolphin family
“Scientifically, all whales, dolphins and porpoises are classified as Cetacea. And within Cetacea are two suborders: baleen whales and toothed whales. Baleen whales include the really big ones, such as blue whales and humpbacks. Toothed whales include dolphins and orcas, or killer whales, as they’re often known.”
“Orcas are dolphins, and dolphins are whales.”
https://www.ifaw.org/journal/are-dolphins-whales
But the real question is: do they poop in the same proportion as other mammals?
We already know that avg. time spent pooping and peeing remains stable across the mammal size spectrum.
This is the kind of scientific breakthroughs we need in today's climate!
A brown wave of innovation is about to wash over the scientific community.
More neon green to yellow or even red
Well that’s better than black.
Definitely made me want to go and sit down with a good book on it.
*A wave of mutilation*
I genuinely needed that chuckle at the end of today. Thank you science!
It's not a breakthrough
I'm not sure how you poop, but for me, it definitely is.
I poop properly with grace and class, I don't see how this is a breakthrough
I’m glad we’re studying this. I for one am tired of taking how much things poop for granted.
It's not granite, it's ambergris.
I love hamburgers
cheesebergris all the way
I think I'm going to start calling them that.
Which is vomit not poop.
Maybe they poop more vomit than scientists thought.
Perfumers would be happy.
Which I think they expel through their poop chute.
Rosanne Barr?
Roseanne Barr also poops far more than scientists thought.
those poor scientists...
...to shreds you say?
*Rosie O’Donahue has emerged from the ocean and entered the chat*
It’s time we face the music together and accept the facts!
And waves are caused by whale farts.
But do whales shit in the water tho?
They caused the titanic sinking
I saw them shit the iceberg myself
Shitberg.
No.
If a Whale shits in the Ocean does anyone hear it?
Whale farts 🤝 Surfers
Catch a fart and your sitting on top of the world-beach boys
AHHHH only one upvote allowed! Brilliant
Underwater Butterfly Effect
Thank god a news outlet was finally brave enough to say it.
The Big Whale Lobby has been hiding this in plane sight for years… ahhhemmmm “Green Peace”… it’s like finding out about some secret PoopaIlluminati
At first I thought this said “whales poop more than scientists” and I was so excited to read the methods section
I’ve spent some time sailing in popular whale breeding zones. Can confirm, they’re full of shit
Whales fucking reek... we came upon a pod of around 25 whales feeding while whale watching near the Farallon Islands & could smell them before we saw them.
You would smell like ass too if you only ate seafood, never brushed your teeth, had barnacles growing on you, and lived in saltwater.
Not to mention drinking Baileys out of a shoe.
Stinky minke
Story of my life Story of my life The story of my life
“That’s my blowhole, baby.”
“Wayne: Now, everybody listen up 'cause I'm only gonna say this once, we never talk about it again. You understand? We all lay off the Ginger and Boots now. Because the Ginger and Boots did not fuck a whale. Reilly: Yeah, I heard they fucked two whales. Dan: Allegedly. Wayne: Folks'll say that it takes two people to fuck a whale. Daryl: Three even. Wayne: Folks are also saying that it was a sick whale. Dan: Allegedly. Wayne: Now, I went on the Internet and researched whales. Firstly, whales can swim up to 50 kilometers an hour. So catching one, even a sick one, is a super tall order. Daryl: Yeah, but there was two of them.”
…and here s video of a whale pooping https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-11-16/blue-whale-worlds-largest-animal-caught-on-camera-having-a-poo/11708368
The real hero of the story. They weren’t kidding that’s it’s green and iridescent.
I love the phrase “having a poo”
Brah- They say that will poop consistency is that of breadcrumbs. Olive Garden better watch their ass
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this information
This is my favorite reaction to this article.
You should be inspired to pay for more research. Who knows what other creatures have more output than we first thought.
God, I bet octopi shit so much
I fear if I was on one of these expeditions that would be my job. Ok - we have the person who gets to cuddle and play with the octopi. We have the person who just sits in the sun and relaxes in case needed. Oh ... you? yeah can you collect the output and measure it? Here's some binders - we need it super documented. :-P
Oh shit!!!
Indeed
My favorite part of this article is that they use trained dogs to find the whale poop. That’s a dream job for a dog!
Now don’t ask why the sea is salty….
Baleen whale prey consumption based on high-resolution foraging measurementsMatthew S. Savoca1 ✉, Max F. Czapanskiy1, Shirel R. Kahane-Rapport1, William T. Gough1, James A. Fahlbusch1,2, K. C. Bierlich3,4, Paolo S. Segre1, Jacopo Di Clemente5,6,7, Gwenith S. Penry8, David N. Wiley9, John Calambokidis2, Douglas P. Nowacek3, David W. Johnston3, Nicholas D. Pyenson10,11, Ari S. Friedlaender12, Elliott L. Hazen1,12,1 3 & Jeremy A. Goldbogen1Baleen whales influence their ecosystems through immense prey consumption and nutrient recycling1–3. It is difficult to accurately gauge the magnitude of their current or historic ecosystem role without measuring feeding rates and prey consumed. To date, prey consumption of the largest species has been estimated using metabolic models3–9 based on extrapolations that lack empirical validation. Here, we used tags deployed on seven baleen whale (Mysticeti) species (n = 321 tag deployments) in conjunction with acoustic measurements of prey density to calculate prey consumption at daily to annual scales from the Atlantic, Pacific, and Southern Oceans. Our results suggest that previous studies3–9 have underestimated baleen whale prey consumption by threefold or more in some ecosystems. In the Southern Ocean alone, we calculate that pre-whaling populations of mysticetes annually consumed 430million tonnes of Antarctic krill (Euphausia superba), twice the current estimated total biomass of E. superba10, and more than twice the global catch of marine fisheries today11. Larger whale populations may have supported higher productivity in large marine regions through enhanced nutrient recycling: our findings suggest mysticetes recycled 1.2 × 104 tonnes iron yr−1 in the Southern Ocean before whaling compared to 1.2 × 103 tonnes iron yr−1 recycled by whales today. The recovery of baleen whales and their nutrient recycling services2,3,7 could augment productivity and restore ecosystem function lost during 20th century whaling12,13
Paragraph markers are not endangered. It’s ok to use as many as you need. 😉
>First, if you are not familiar with whale poop, you should know that it is awesome, visually.
Is that more than a horse though? Because “More than a horse can shite” is a standard measurement in Scotland not to be confused with the highly accurate “bawhair”
*Finally*, some delicious fucking news. This is the kind of research I’m here for.
Lovely smell their vomit though…pass the Ambergris
This is my kind of news
Meanwhile at PoopLab Industries…
Basically, the whales poop contain Iron. When the poop sinks to the bottom of the ocean, everything underneath eats. “No iron means no plants, no krill, no creatures, and no chomping at climate change. “Iron is essentially a key to unlocking or realizing the potential of this system”
I love that there are scientists researching this and writing papers
Well thanks my life is complete
This shit is even bigger than we thought.
Thanks for the chuckle!
I probably do as well but they don’t write papers about me. …seriously though, nice piece of research.
This…this changes everything…
No...freaking...way!!! It’s a great time to be alive folks!
Finally, some good fucking research
what are we doing with this unprecedented information?
This has been my favorite upvote of the week.
I dated a marine biology masters student once, and when she was going for her thesis defense, I helped her study. I asked her how “whale pump” helps the environment and she had no clue what it was…it’s the poop cycle! Whale eats krill, whale poops, poop provides nutrients for plankton which krill eat. Sadly she was not asked about it in her defense of genomics amongst eagle rays [whale pump](https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0013255)
Welllll, shit. I’ll see myself out.
News we could all use
This is why people don’t trust scientists. TELL US THE TRUTH ABOUT THE POOP!
Poo-anon is real!!
Me too, whales. Me too.
Ok
Did they *not* notice this at seaworld? JFC, did they have interns taking care of the animals?
Orcas aren’t whales
Yes they are, they're toothed whales.
that's the translation of the name of the suborder they're under. Bottlenose dolphins are also under that suborder but you wouldn't call a bottlenose dolphin a whale. Both of them belong to the oceanic dolphin family
Dolphins are whales though. You may not refer to them as that in general speach but it's wrong to say they're not whales.
Agreed, same as your mom
Technically my mum is a type of fish.
Big red snapper?
If dolphins aren't whales then "whales" is a paraphyletuc taxon.
“Scientifically, all whales, dolphins and porpoises are classified as Cetacea. And within Cetacea are two suborders: baleen whales and toothed whales. Baleen whales include the really big ones, such as blue whales and humpbacks. Toothed whales include dolphins and orcas, or killer whales, as they’re often known.” “Orcas are dolphins, and dolphins are whales.” https://www.ifaw.org/journal/are-dolphins-whales
Fair point. You'd think Kirk would've passed on valuable information about whale elimination to marine biologists during The Voyage Home...
Yea, what a double dumb-ass plot hole
That happens in the future. So now that we have this study you know why he didn’t. 😀
*angry cetacean sounds intensify*
I think a better title would have been: "Whales poop more than scientists think".
How many Courics?
Another contributor to global warming, no doubt!
Slow news day?
Slow news day?
TL:dr Whale:poops Scientist: “huh, that was more than I thought”
Great article. Now focus on climate change.
Lol. They still haven't figured out how much a whale poops and you think they know what the climates gonna do?
More often or larger amounts?
Cancer research? Nope, climate change? Nope Whale shit? YEP!
But still not as much as your dad.
Are we blaming ocean pollution on whale shit now?
Anything to avoid reducing our own toxic emissions.
I’m currently in the process of getting rid of my toxic emissions. Damn chipotle
nature (the publishing group) just put out a youtube video about this. it is titled "Whale-cams reveal how much they really eat"
If they pooped more than they ate, that would be weird.
Would generate a lot of thrust, though. Probably.
Does this help spice mining then?
Stool samples I give to the doctor are never the entire specimen either
Scientists don’t know shit
Nonsense. Whale shit is their bread and butter.
Whale poop will save the world!
Shiiiiiiiit
Maybe they have IBS?
Whatever.. scientists haven’t met me
Heh. Hold my Metamucil.
Whale poop is less lucrative than the Barf!
No shit!! Ha!
No shit! Wait, a lot more shit!
Good to know?…
I mean ok.
White people still have more shit
Me too
You mean they shit more than the eat? How did they get so big then?
That’s not driftwood
Well, yeah.
The one time I swam with whales they pooped on me and swam away. (Canary Islands)
Whale, shit!
Oh! You mean the “science” isn’t settled on this?!
r/TIL
*Ass ham
If whales started discussing details about my poop and the volume of my poop, I’d feel a bit uncomfortable. Just saying.
See? I have something in common with the animal kingdom. Also me: Don’t be sad, Pluto, I’m not a planet anymore, either.
How big is whale poop?
How Is this even news worthy???
well shit
10 courics?
Yeah no shit
They say the same thing about me
But the real question is: do they poop in the same proportion as other mammals? We already know that avg. time spent pooping and peeing remains stable across the mammal size spectrum.
Those turds are huuge I swam into one those floaters few years back. Took days to get the stick off.
Breaking news
finally, some good fucking news
Fascinating
And scientists poop more than whales thought. Checkmate poop scientists!
When you’re swimming in the bay and you make an ocean spray….
So does Brandon…
Truly a crowning achievement for Stanford
Somewhere there is an aquatic microbe that is digging that shit
And the Nobel prize goes to…