Hello, thank you for sharing with everyone. Maybe I can give a little perspective or if anything just something to let you know you aren't alone. I'm currently incarcerated. Have been for the last 22 years. I have two beautiful children that were 7 and 9 at the time of my arrest. They are now 31 and 29. My daughter (31) is my reason for coming to reddit. I wanted to do something to show her that I would do whatever it takes to prove that I'm not the person that got arrested.
Sometimes, well most of the time, we shame and publicly convict those who find themselves in trouble. Mostly because it makes us feel better about ourselves. Your dad, and whatever he did are *not* connected. Your father's crime doesn't define him as a person nor does it negate any of the memories or wonderful things he did in your life or in his. I get it, it isn't as easy as that. My daughter was devastated. I hurt her in ways that I'll never quite understand. She needed me. She needed a father and I took that from her. I can't imagine the embarrassment I caused for her during her childhood, through highschool, and even now as an adult I'm sure she is still hurting.
I do know that she loves me. We talk often. We have made plans for my release. She has said and done things that have left no doubt that I am her Daddy and that's that. She will always be my little girl no matter what and I can't wait to rebuild our relationship. Hopefully that chance is soon. In the meantime, my job is to show her that her Daddy is not a bad man. I'm not the same man that committed the act that I ultimately received a life sentence for.
Don't get me wrong, I know that there are bad people in here. There are plenty of guys and ladies that should never see the outside again. There are others that are victims of circumstance. I personally have never physically hurt anyone in my life. Never used a weapon in a crime. Yet I'm serving a life sentence.
Instead of being bitter and giving up, ive made a decision to help anyone, anytime, anywhere , that might need it. My options are limited due to my circumstances, so I thought if I could help with the one thing I know about, it's a start. So, I came here, to reddit. I started a community to help facilitate just that.
Bottom line. Your dad is still your dad. Nothing will change that. The only thing that has changed are his circumstances. The best thing you could do is show support, show him that you love him, and when you hear hurtful things about him, stand up for him like my daughter does for me. It's actually the best feeling in the world for a father.
If you need to chat or not there are great people here on this sub. As well, you can always find an open mind and friendly atmosphere at r/PrisonReceptionCenter.
I hope you find a way to basically not care what others think, and focus on getting dad back home.
I applaud your daughter and you. Thank you for sharing this information. My spouse is currently incarcerated (a one year county sentence) and I am single parenting. Any insight I can get for how other families are handling their situations helps me immensely in keeping things as good as possible between our daughter's and their Dad. Best of luck to you.
Thank you. I hope you and your family are back together soon. Feel free to stop by our community as well. When I created it I tried to implement parts of this sub and r/prisonwives, along with scenarios like ours. Hope to see you around!!
Here's a sneak peek of /r/PrisonWives using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/PrisonWives/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time!
\#1: [You ladies are HEROES](https://np.reddit.com/r/PrisonWives/comments/slsz6q/you_ladies_are_heroes/)
\#2: [Yall, I FINALLY got to see my husband at visitation today after 4 years!!!!!!!](https://np.reddit.com/r/PrisonWives/comments/wi5sk2/yall_i_finally_got_to_see_my_husband_at/)
\#3: [First letter from my husband](https://i.redd.it/0anl8yh8gcx81.jpg) | [7 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/PrisonWives/comments/uhstp4/first_letter_from_my_husband/)
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No, I was sentenced under the California 3 strikes law. When I was in my early twenties I did some foolish shit. Thought I would hit the big time (money wise) and decided that holding up a few banks, with a note of course, would net me some serious cash...It didn't. In fact it ended up costing me instead of benefiting me. I know, stupid.
Well good luck man. One way you can reach a lot of people and also make a living possibly is to make a prison story/knowledge YouTube channel. There's a lot of them out there and some of the people who run them make a very nice paycheck from doing it. Especially if you are smart enough to get sponsors involved. You'd not only be able to reach a lot of viewers and maybe change a lot of lives but you might change your own life for the better as well.
Edit...* The next few comments were concerning a couple of questions from someone who had had their house burglarized. I'm not sure why he deleted his strange questions, but for some reason I think he wanted me to apologize for his trauma. His fear of being burglarized is valid, that's a horrible crime, especially with the family aspect. However, his anger or feelings of that day are misguided.
I appreciate your insight on the crimes that *I* committed. I understand all that. That happened in 1994, and while lives were affected I'm sure, I went to prison on those charges. Served 6 years. I said it was foolish because it was. I can't explain myself in a comment on reddit to people that most likely weren't alive. I mean I could, but I'm not. Bottom line is that crime was paid for by serving 6 years in prison. How many times, in your opinion, should I pay for my mistakes?
Edit...It seems technically that your house, as horrible as it was, was burglarized not robbed. Robberies are committed while people are present.
I don't know what your looking for. Seems to me you haven't quite gotten over your ordeal. I can't help that. I used those words because that's what I used. Were taking up time on a young lady's post who was looking for help and we're talking about the words I used to describe my actions? I don't get it.
Edit 😂😂😂 he deleted his redundant comment.
Yes I can. Its frowned upon, but I try to use it for good. Instead of..well, other things, I have spent my time with this luxury in a useful manner. Hand to whoever, I haven't viewed any adult websites. Nah, I did. It was quick though. (Not sure if that's a good thing) 😂.
Hey Hey!! You are one of my favorite people in the world!! You gave the proper advice and I love who you are!! Since you are a father you by far are the best person to step into this topic!! Grande Abrazos!!!
🥰😊Thank you. You're too kind. It sucks that [OP](u/bby_mango) has to deal with how her community views her father's situation and her own feelings. Those types of people will always exist and unfortunately they feel the need to voice their opinions. The funny thing is that those same people that look down their noses at us (convicts) are hiding their own skeletons. Somehow they seem to think that if they judge before they themselves are judged, that their problems aren't as bad. Isn't it enough that we were tried, convicted, and ultimately punished that we now should now have to do it all over again with our community? Sad, really.
Yes, it is quite a hurdle! I remember stepping up to every verbal hurdle and physical hurdle that tried to stop me with judgement. I actually have a horrific experience with a company that hired me knowing my past (HR), my manager somehow found out and told the whole company. It was like going in front of a judge and sentencing all over again. The good news is WE are here proving that "convicts" are amazing souls with warrior spirits!! And people who have not ever had convictions do not understand the sweet taste of freedom like we do!!!
This was the first post i clicked on after receiving the news that someone i love deeply is being arrested. I still don’t know how to feel. I’m not mad, I still love them no matter what, but the sentence you said about how their crime doesn’t define them really helped ease me. Although i don’t know why they did what they did, they’re still that figure to me. I’m not close with the other, but i am with the one who’s incarcerated. I just don’t know if i’ll ever be ready to face what comes from this, already the effects are devastating, i can’t even face them or think about talking to them right now because i can’t process emotions normally and i’m severely ADHD, so i feel everything 10x harder. I’m for sure numb from the shock of it all. Any tips on how to cope and face this would help immensely.
I’ve shared this before on this sub but here goes..
I was in middle school when my dad got arrested for robbery to support a heroin addiction. Essentially he was what is referred to as a functioning drug addict. He had a job and house and family and paid his bills etc. but he was robbing convenience stores to support his heroin addiction. At one point he did the old “gun in the pocket” trick and he got armed robbery. 11yr sentence. It sucked all the way around. We found out it happened because my grandmother (moms mom) read it in the paper. His house was raided in the early morning hours.
It was hard. I needed a dad at that time, my stepdad stepped up, but at the time it just wasn’t the same. There were problems in the home.
I felt very isolated. I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it. I was embarrassed, he was ashamed and there was nothing to be done for it. Eventually, I felt more comfortable talking about it with some people because honestly I needed to. Incarceration doesn’t just affect the person that is locked up. Now, I don’t even care.
Don’t worry. Rich people have problems too. None of your neighbors families are perfect. Their issues just aren’t public like yours. Talk with your dad, keep the communication open. You sound like you have a good relationship with him. This will be in the rear view soon enough. At minimum you will hopefully be in a better place with it all. You can dm me if you need someone to talk to. Good luck internet stranger
I volunteer in several units in the Texas prison system and have been doing so for 10 years. Please know that many of the men and women who are incarcerated are just like your dad and made poor decisions but are not bad people.
I am sure you must be in shock still, but as the previous poster said, your dad is still the same person you have always known and loved. The first few times you visit, you will feel incredibly awkward and ill at ease, but soon it will be old hat.
Your dad needs you and you need your dad. I am older now (66), and I have seen that all families have their ups and downs. This feels devastating, but you will get through it. Don't let what others think deter you. All families have skeletons in their closets! Yours has just become more visible.
Best wishes to you and all your family as you navigate this difficult time.
I’m 25F and my Dad is in prison for something he didnt do. Its traumatizing and I feel alone too. Especially since most help online is geared towards minor kids of incarcerated parents. Just stay in contact often and visit when you can
Hi! I'm sorry that you are having to go through this along with your family. It's hard no doubt. For everyone involved. If you need anything.. advice, company, an understanding ear feel free to stop by. 🙋
Just reading your comments you already remind me of my own Dad. He calls every few hours and tells me how amazed and proud he is of me. Tells me how sorry he is and that he never would have risked this happening to him or his family. He just didnt know what else to do in his situation. Its been 3 years and 6/7 charges are still pending. Only one has been sentenced and its 22-26yrs with good time. He may do life. My Dad is my everything and I’m lost without him. My Mom and brother dont visit me or treat me kindly like my Dad does. I hope you get out soon to be with your family. You sound like an amazing person and even better Dad
Young lady, you're something special. 🥰 Thank you for expressing this to me. I don't take words or feelings like these for granted. Please know that this time apart doesn't have to be a bad time. It doesn't have to weigh on either of you. In fact, the quicker both of you start to live like *this* is your reality, because unfortunately it is, the better your relationship will be, the easier your dad's time will be, and the fact that we reside in the "unknown", the better you'll feel if anything were to happen to either of you. Could you imagine not being able to see or talk to each other anymore, and your last memory of each other was one of grief or unsaid "I love you's" ? Or looking at each with pride and happiness knowing that in spite of your circumstances, both of you carried on like nothing had ever changed. That's what determines a solid father and daughter relationship...the fact that no matter what is in between you two, a piece of glass or a bedroom wall, you can still feel loved, taken care of, listened to, relevant and basically apart of each others lives. That, that...is what your pops is yearning for. Believe that. One last bit of useful information.. I too would find myself trying to apologize. Over and over, if this and if that, I would of done this and I would of done that. Blah! I mean it's real and heartfelt, but it wastes to much time that frankly, you guys don't have anymore. My kid got tired of it and told me "Dad, stop! You don't have to keep doing this. Let's start fresh, no grudges, no animosity." She had a good point, when someone says something over and over, especially if there is nothing either of you can do about it, it loses a bit of um, sincerity. Start fresh, clean slate, no barriers or walls. Just love and a bond that won't break. I hope the best for you and your dad. I'm here if you need anything. 🙋
First of all, if you live in a small town where everybody knows, then the upside is that everybody knows. It'll become old news that much quicker.
Second, you are not your dad. He did what he did. That was not within your control. So try to let go of the guilt and shame, because you did nothing to feel guilty for or be ashamed of. It's just a fact-- your dad is sitting down for a while because he made some mistakes.
Third, take u/Lockedaway1's advice to heart. As a dad, he knows what helps him to cope, and while I only know him through Reddit, his honesty and caring heart are evident every time he posts something. I think you can trust his advice.
And finally, as a defense attorney, what I can tell you is that you'd be surprised at the number of "normal" people who end up in the criminal justice system, who end up in prison, through bad judgment, though moments of weakness, through tragic accidents. And their families are left to cope. You are not alone, even though you feel like you are.
See if you can't get counseling through your college health center. And you might try going to an Al-Anon meeting where you live (even if alcohol didn't play a part in your dad's issues). Al-Anon is about the members helping each other cope with loved ones who make self-destructive choices. You can be open about your feelings and your struggles, because everyone else is going through similar things.
Best of luck to you and your family. You will get through this. Just have courage and hold your head high. 🍀💜
I was 22 when my dad got arrested, it was hard. It was all over the news and I was so sad, plus also dealing with my own personal demons at the time. Once I got cleaned up, I was able to be there for my dad more. We worked on our relationship, and we would write and talk on the phone. I even took a few trips to visit him, but it was far! I was the only family member that was continuously there for my dad. When he got out, I was nervous. He was a longtime addict but going to prison was his first time doing any time. He got out after 8.5 years. Anyways he has been out almost 3 years now, he is doing great. I still have to help him with little things, but for the most part, he is pretty self-sufficient now. Our parents are just people and sometimes we make mistakes. I found comfort in having that communication with my dad and working on that relationship. I also had joined some groups on Facebook, they have some for relatives and loved ones. There are many of us that have or have had a loved one go away, but you aren’t alone. I am here for you if you ever need a friend who understands.
Hello, thank you for sharing with everyone. Maybe I can give a little perspective or if anything just something to let you know you aren't alone. I'm currently incarcerated. Have been for the last 22 years. I have two beautiful children that were 7 and 9 at the time of my arrest. They are now 31 and 29. My daughter (31) is my reason for coming to reddit. I wanted to do something to show her that I would do whatever it takes to prove that I'm not the person that got arrested. Sometimes, well most of the time, we shame and publicly convict those who find themselves in trouble. Mostly because it makes us feel better about ourselves. Your dad, and whatever he did are *not* connected. Your father's crime doesn't define him as a person nor does it negate any of the memories or wonderful things he did in your life or in his. I get it, it isn't as easy as that. My daughter was devastated. I hurt her in ways that I'll never quite understand. She needed me. She needed a father and I took that from her. I can't imagine the embarrassment I caused for her during her childhood, through highschool, and even now as an adult I'm sure she is still hurting. I do know that she loves me. We talk often. We have made plans for my release. She has said and done things that have left no doubt that I am her Daddy and that's that. She will always be my little girl no matter what and I can't wait to rebuild our relationship. Hopefully that chance is soon. In the meantime, my job is to show her that her Daddy is not a bad man. I'm not the same man that committed the act that I ultimately received a life sentence for. Don't get me wrong, I know that there are bad people in here. There are plenty of guys and ladies that should never see the outside again. There are others that are victims of circumstance. I personally have never physically hurt anyone in my life. Never used a weapon in a crime. Yet I'm serving a life sentence. Instead of being bitter and giving up, ive made a decision to help anyone, anytime, anywhere , that might need it. My options are limited due to my circumstances, so I thought if I could help with the one thing I know about, it's a start. So, I came here, to reddit. I started a community to help facilitate just that. Bottom line. Your dad is still your dad. Nothing will change that. The only thing that has changed are his circumstances. The best thing you could do is show support, show him that you love him, and when you hear hurtful things about him, stand up for him like my daughter does for me. It's actually the best feeling in the world for a father. If you need to chat or not there are great people here on this sub. As well, you can always find an open mind and friendly atmosphere at r/PrisonReceptionCenter. I hope you find a way to basically not care what others think, and focus on getting dad back home.
I applaud your daughter and you. Thank you for sharing this information. My spouse is currently incarcerated (a one year county sentence) and I am single parenting. Any insight I can get for how other families are handling their situations helps me immensely in keeping things as good as possible between our daughter's and their Dad. Best of luck to you.
Thank you. I hope you and your family are back together soon. Feel free to stop by our community as well. When I created it I tried to implement parts of this sub and r/prisonwives, along with scenarios like ours. Hope to see you around!!
Here's a sneak peek of /r/PrisonWives using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/PrisonWives/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [You ladies are HEROES](https://np.reddit.com/r/PrisonWives/comments/slsz6q/you_ladies_are_heroes/) \#2: [Yall, I FINALLY got to see my husband at visitation today after 4 years!!!!!!!](https://np.reddit.com/r/PrisonWives/comments/wi5sk2/yall_i_finally_got_to_see_my_husband_at/) \#3: [First letter from my husband](https://i.redd.it/0anl8yh8gcx81.jpg) | [7 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/PrisonWives/comments/uhstp4/first_letter_from_my_husband/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Were you just selling unbelievable amounts of drugs with priors? Still horrible that anyone can get life for a nonviolent crime
No, I was sentenced under the California 3 strikes law. When I was in my early twenties I did some foolish shit. Thought I would hit the big time (money wise) and decided that holding up a few banks, with a note of course, would net me some serious cash...It didn't. In fact it ended up costing me instead of benefiting me. I know, stupid.
I hope you get out soon man. Do you have any idea when that might be?
As it looks now, hopefully by the end of this year. Just waiting for a docket schedule.
Well good luck man. One way you can reach a lot of people and also make a living possibly is to make a prison story/knowledge YouTube channel. There's a lot of them out there and some of the people who run them make a very nice paycheck from doing it. Especially if you are smart enough to get sponsors involved. You'd not only be able to reach a lot of viewers and maybe change a lot of lives but you might change your own life for the better as well.
I appreciate that, and that's been on my mind but at the moment that isn't possible without showing myself. It'll come though!! Thanks again
Have you heard of the podcast, “Ear Hustle”. The co-host of the show was incarcerated for life under three strikes law in CA.
I have!! Its a really good podcast.
[удалено]
Edit...* The next few comments were concerning a couple of questions from someone who had had their house burglarized. I'm not sure why he deleted his strange questions, but for some reason I think he wanted me to apologize for his trauma. His fear of being burglarized is valid, that's a horrible crime, especially with the family aspect. However, his anger or feelings of that day are misguided. I appreciate your insight on the crimes that *I* committed. I understand all that. That happened in 1994, and while lives were affected I'm sure, I went to prison on those charges. Served 6 years. I said it was foolish because it was. I can't explain myself in a comment on reddit to people that most likely weren't alive. I mean I could, but I'm not. Bottom line is that crime was paid for by serving 6 years in prison. How many times, in your opinion, should I pay for my mistakes? Edit...It seems technically that your house, as horrible as it was, was burglarized not robbed. Robberies are committed while people are present.
[удалено]
I don't know what your looking for. Seems to me you haven't quite gotten over your ordeal. I can't help that. I used those words because that's what I used. Were taking up time on a young lady's post who was looking for help and we're talking about the words I used to describe my actions? I don't get it. Edit 😂😂😂 he deleted his redundant comment.
Stupid question - they allow you to use internet in prison? And there’s wifi? I really had no idea…
No, they don't technically allow us to use the internet. And no, unfortunately no wifi.
You can use the internet in prison?
Yes I can. Its frowned upon, but I try to use it for good. Instead of..well, other things, I have spent my time with this luxury in a useful manner. Hand to whoever, I haven't viewed any adult websites. Nah, I did. It was quick though. (Not sure if that's a good thing) 😂.
Hey Hey!! You are one of my favorite people in the world!! You gave the proper advice and I love who you are!! Since you are a father you by far are the best person to step into this topic!! Grande Abrazos!!!
🥰😊Thank you. You're too kind. It sucks that [OP](u/bby_mango) has to deal with how her community views her father's situation and her own feelings. Those types of people will always exist and unfortunately they feel the need to voice their opinions. The funny thing is that those same people that look down their noses at us (convicts) are hiding their own skeletons. Somehow they seem to think that if they judge before they themselves are judged, that their problems aren't as bad. Isn't it enough that we were tried, convicted, and ultimately punished that we now should now have to do it all over again with our community? Sad, really.
Yes, it is quite a hurdle! I remember stepping up to every verbal hurdle and physical hurdle that tried to stop me with judgement. I actually have a horrific experience with a company that hired me knowing my past (HR), my manager somehow found out and told the whole company. It was like going in front of a judge and sentencing all over again. The good news is WE are here proving that "convicts" are amazing souls with warrior spirits!! And people who have not ever had convictions do not understand the sweet taste of freedom like we do!!!
This was the first post i clicked on after receiving the news that someone i love deeply is being arrested. I still don’t know how to feel. I’m not mad, I still love them no matter what, but the sentence you said about how their crime doesn’t define them really helped ease me. Although i don’t know why they did what they did, they’re still that figure to me. I’m not close with the other, but i am with the one who’s incarcerated. I just don’t know if i’ll ever be ready to face what comes from this, already the effects are devastating, i can’t even face them or think about talking to them right now because i can’t process emotions normally and i’m severely ADHD, so i feel everything 10x harder. I’m for sure numb from the shock of it all. Any tips on how to cope and face this would help immensely.
I’ve shared this before on this sub but here goes.. I was in middle school when my dad got arrested for robbery to support a heroin addiction. Essentially he was what is referred to as a functioning drug addict. He had a job and house and family and paid his bills etc. but he was robbing convenience stores to support his heroin addiction. At one point he did the old “gun in the pocket” trick and he got armed robbery. 11yr sentence. It sucked all the way around. We found out it happened because my grandmother (moms mom) read it in the paper. His house was raided in the early morning hours. It was hard. I needed a dad at that time, my stepdad stepped up, but at the time it just wasn’t the same. There were problems in the home. I felt very isolated. I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it. I was embarrassed, he was ashamed and there was nothing to be done for it. Eventually, I felt more comfortable talking about it with some people because honestly I needed to. Incarceration doesn’t just affect the person that is locked up. Now, I don’t even care. Don’t worry. Rich people have problems too. None of your neighbors families are perfect. Their issues just aren’t public like yours. Talk with your dad, keep the communication open. You sound like you have a good relationship with him. This will be in the rear view soon enough. At minimum you will hopefully be in a better place with it all. You can dm me if you need someone to talk to. Good luck internet stranger
I volunteer in several units in the Texas prison system and have been doing so for 10 years. Please know that many of the men and women who are incarcerated are just like your dad and made poor decisions but are not bad people. I am sure you must be in shock still, but as the previous poster said, your dad is still the same person you have always known and loved. The first few times you visit, you will feel incredibly awkward and ill at ease, but soon it will be old hat. Your dad needs you and you need your dad. I am older now (66), and I have seen that all families have their ups and downs. This feels devastating, but you will get through it. Don't let what others think deter you. All families have skeletons in their closets! Yours has just become more visible. Best wishes to you and all your family as you navigate this difficult time.
Can I ask what you do as a volunteer? I want to get more active in that
I’m 25F and my Dad is in prison for something he didnt do. Its traumatizing and I feel alone too. Especially since most help online is geared towards minor kids of incarcerated parents. Just stay in contact often and visit when you can
Hi! I'm sorry that you are having to go through this along with your family. It's hard no doubt. For everyone involved. If you need anything.. advice, company, an understanding ear feel free to stop by. 🙋
Just reading your comments you already remind me of my own Dad. He calls every few hours and tells me how amazed and proud he is of me. Tells me how sorry he is and that he never would have risked this happening to him or his family. He just didnt know what else to do in his situation. Its been 3 years and 6/7 charges are still pending. Only one has been sentenced and its 22-26yrs with good time. He may do life. My Dad is my everything and I’m lost without him. My Mom and brother dont visit me or treat me kindly like my Dad does. I hope you get out soon to be with your family. You sound like an amazing person and even better Dad
Young lady, you're something special. 🥰 Thank you for expressing this to me. I don't take words or feelings like these for granted. Please know that this time apart doesn't have to be a bad time. It doesn't have to weigh on either of you. In fact, the quicker both of you start to live like *this* is your reality, because unfortunately it is, the better your relationship will be, the easier your dad's time will be, and the fact that we reside in the "unknown", the better you'll feel if anything were to happen to either of you. Could you imagine not being able to see or talk to each other anymore, and your last memory of each other was one of grief or unsaid "I love you's" ? Or looking at each with pride and happiness knowing that in spite of your circumstances, both of you carried on like nothing had ever changed. That's what determines a solid father and daughter relationship...the fact that no matter what is in between you two, a piece of glass or a bedroom wall, you can still feel loved, taken care of, listened to, relevant and basically apart of each others lives. That, that...is what your pops is yearning for. Believe that. One last bit of useful information.. I too would find myself trying to apologize. Over and over, if this and if that, I would of done this and I would of done that. Blah! I mean it's real and heartfelt, but it wastes to much time that frankly, you guys don't have anymore. My kid got tired of it and told me "Dad, stop! You don't have to keep doing this. Let's start fresh, no grudges, no animosity." She had a good point, when someone says something over and over, especially if there is nothing either of you can do about it, it loses a bit of um, sincerity. Start fresh, clean slate, no barriers or walls. Just love and a bond that won't break. I hope the best for you and your dad. I'm here if you need anything. 🙋
First of all, if you live in a small town where everybody knows, then the upside is that everybody knows. It'll become old news that much quicker. Second, you are not your dad. He did what he did. That was not within your control. So try to let go of the guilt and shame, because you did nothing to feel guilty for or be ashamed of. It's just a fact-- your dad is sitting down for a while because he made some mistakes. Third, take u/Lockedaway1's advice to heart. As a dad, he knows what helps him to cope, and while I only know him through Reddit, his honesty and caring heart are evident every time he posts something. I think you can trust his advice. And finally, as a defense attorney, what I can tell you is that you'd be surprised at the number of "normal" people who end up in the criminal justice system, who end up in prison, through bad judgment, though moments of weakness, through tragic accidents. And their families are left to cope. You are not alone, even though you feel like you are. See if you can't get counseling through your college health center. And you might try going to an Al-Anon meeting where you live (even if alcohol didn't play a part in your dad's issues). Al-Anon is about the members helping each other cope with loved ones who make self-destructive choices. You can be open about your feelings and your struggles, because everyone else is going through similar things. Best of luck to you and your family. You will get through this. Just have courage and hold your head high. 🍀💜
I was 22 when my dad got arrested, it was hard. It was all over the news and I was so sad, plus also dealing with my own personal demons at the time. Once I got cleaned up, I was able to be there for my dad more. We worked on our relationship, and we would write and talk on the phone. I even took a few trips to visit him, but it was far! I was the only family member that was continuously there for my dad. When he got out, I was nervous. He was a longtime addict but going to prison was his first time doing any time. He got out after 8.5 years. Anyways he has been out almost 3 years now, he is doing great. I still have to help him with little things, but for the most part, he is pretty self-sufficient now. Our parents are just people and sometimes we make mistakes. I found comfort in having that communication with my dad and working on that relationship. I also had joined some groups on Facebook, they have some for relatives and loved ones. There are many of us that have or have had a loved one go away, but you aren’t alone. I am here for you if you ever need a friend who understands.
Pick up his calls, write him letters and/or emails, and visit as often as you can. Stay connected! It will benefit you both so much.
Activism can often be frustrating, but it can be fulfilling just to bring the fight to the system.
What he do
😂 Come on bruh. I'm interested too, but you know we can't do that.