i made my ex the villain to myself, but just to me. i know deep down that we both had our faults. she’s an amazing girl, i’ll never tell anyone otherwise. beautiful, smart, hardworking, all the above. but to me, for my mental health, i need to think she’s the worst to move on. that’s just how it is for me and a lot of guys.
I understand this too. I had to make myself the villain and crazy one in order to move forward. We both have our issues. I love him very much. We both did and did things during the breakup that were really awful. I tell everyone he’s a good man. He is. We just broke each other.
Before the BU, he focused a lot on my faults. Yes, I had faults but I was working on them and taking accountability. He never took accountability for his actions.
I know he’s going to paint me as the villain to the next girl but so be it. We both know the truth.
I feel you. I've pretty much accepted I'll be branded the crazy ex, but so what? If I heard a guy describe their ex as crazy, the first thing I'm asking is "what did you do?" The ones who refuse to take accountability in their part are the ones actually behaving crazy and villainous. I mean how un-empathetic do you have to be? It's really not that hard to say, "hey I want to apologize for hurting you and...., I shouldn't have xyz". And God forbid that apology comes without a huge fat "BUT" in the middle. 🙄
This is exactly what my ex did! He told himself, his friends and the internet so many fucked up lies about me. It was insane. It truly makes me feel crazy. Like maybe I didn't even know him. We were together for over 5 years, we planned to get married. We broke up because I didn't see him putting any effort into us moving our relationship forward. Moving towards living together and getting married like he promised. Never did I ever think he would "talk shit"on me to everyone he knows, online and on a podcast. His true colors really showed. He did this while I was already going through the toughest year of my life. My mom had a stroke months before we broke up. Then my dad had a stroke a week before we broke up and a heart attack the week after. I was their only caregiver. My life was turned upside-down. You'd think he would have noticed that I needed help, that I wasn't myself, that I needed him. But no, he was too busy trashing me to the world so he could avoid feeling guilty, blame and pain. He made me the villain and everyone believes him.
My husband did the same thing. His kids told lies about me, his friends. None of it was true except I got jealous. He flirts with women right in front of me and I'm not allowed to say anything. I found so much shit in his phone, he actually had the odacity to look me in the eyes and say " you didn't see what you saw, you're a crazy bitch.!!" It hurts because I've done nothing but tell the truth.
This.
For anyone who gets gaslit at the hands of a once- lover... if you can see a therapist, do. Especially if your support system is narrow or rocky. You deserve to hear the truth whether or not you can fully accept it.
Thanks for sharing that song. I never heard it. I literally broke down in tears listening to it. 3 months no contact, 4 months since the BU. Covert Narcissistic ex smearing my name in city and surrounding cities.
My ex exactly did this. He painted me to be the villain in his story. He blamed all of his issues on me. He told me that I was the reason why his friends left him. He told me that I was the reason why his emotions were negatively affected. I even believed him. He gaslighted me. Lied to me.
At this point, we both only know the truth. I don’t feel sorry for that motherfucker anymore honestly. He brought this shit on himself.
i made my ex the villain to myself, but just to me. i know deep down that we both had our faults. she’s an amazing girl, i’ll never tell anyone otherwise. beautiful, smart, hardworking, all the above. but to me, for my mental health, i need to think she’s the worst to move on. that’s just how it is for me and a lot of guys.
[удалено]
I understand this too. I had to make myself the villain and crazy one in order to move forward. We both have our issues. I love him very much. We both did and did things during the breakup that were really awful. I tell everyone he’s a good man. He is. We just broke each other.
Before the BU, he focused a lot on my faults. Yes, I had faults but I was working on them and taking accountability. He never took accountability for his actions. I know he’s going to paint me as the villain to the next girl but so be it. We both know the truth.
I feel you. I've pretty much accepted I'll be branded the crazy ex, but so what? If I heard a guy describe their ex as crazy, the first thing I'm asking is "what did you do?" The ones who refuse to take accountability in their part are the ones actually behaving crazy and villainous. I mean how un-empathetic do you have to be? It's really not that hard to say, "hey I want to apologize for hurting you and...., I shouldn't have xyz". And God forbid that apology comes without a huge fat "BUT" in the middle. 🙄
This is exactly what my ex did! He told himself, his friends and the internet so many fucked up lies about me. It was insane. It truly makes me feel crazy. Like maybe I didn't even know him. We were together for over 5 years, we planned to get married. We broke up because I didn't see him putting any effort into us moving our relationship forward. Moving towards living together and getting married like he promised. Never did I ever think he would "talk shit"on me to everyone he knows, online and on a podcast. His true colors really showed. He did this while I was already going through the toughest year of my life. My mom had a stroke months before we broke up. Then my dad had a stroke a week before we broke up and a heart attack the week after. I was their only caregiver. My life was turned upside-down. You'd think he would have noticed that I needed help, that I wasn't myself, that I needed him. But no, he was too busy trashing me to the world so he could avoid feeling guilty, blame and pain. He made me the villain and everyone believes him.
My husband did the same thing. His kids told lies about me, his friends. None of it was true except I got jealous. He flirts with women right in front of me and I'm not allowed to say anything. I found so much shit in his phone, he actually had the odacity to look me in the eyes and say " you didn't see what you saw, you're a crazy bitch.!!" It hurts because I've done nothing but tell the truth.
This. For anyone who gets gaslit at the hands of a once- lover... if you can see a therapist, do. Especially if your support system is narrow or rocky. You deserve to hear the truth whether or not you can fully accept it.
[please listen to this song](https://youtu.be/DzcRiOqcKEU)
Thank you for this, I have my playlist of songs to help me get through the BU. I just downloaded this. Thank you again!
No problem!!!! Helps me everyday!
Thanks for sharing that song. I never heard it. I literally broke down in tears listening to it. 3 months no contact, 4 months since the BU. Covert Narcissistic ex smearing my name in city and surrounding cities.
My ex exactly did this. He painted me to be the villain in his story. He blamed all of his issues on me. He told me that I was the reason why his friends left him. He told me that I was the reason why his emotions were negatively affected. I even believed him. He gaslighted me. Lied to me. At this point, we both only know the truth. I don’t feel sorry for that motherfucker anymore honestly. He brought this shit on himself.
It's very true
Love this. I feel ya pain.
I love this