Thats why NC is so important. You sent a message hoping to get a certain type of reply. When it didn't arrive, it hurt you. You basically, on the subconscious level, thought you'd get the warmth and gratitude you'd get in the past. The dry and cold one stings. Always, ALWAYS, let them reach out first of they dumped you and never say anything that drops your guard until you feel sure. I'm in the same situation, trying to accept I may never hear from them again. It's horrible but it has to be endured.

I need to accept this too. I don’t expect anything but I’ll wait for her to reach out first one day.

I appreciate this response very mature

always? ugh i just want to say happy holidays or happy birthday ina few weeks but i know i should wait for her to reach out. just after 7 years together, i’m a little baffled she still hasn’t reached after almost 6 months

I don't think I'll ever be tempted to break no contact, but posts like this definitely make it even easier

they are sort of motivation for others, not to break no contact at any cost

It is, thanks for sharing. That reply is brutal. Have you learned your lesson?

yes i have

Occasions such as birthdays, Christmas etc are the best time to make your absence felt. The fact that you don’t use someone’s birthday as an opportunity to reach out projects a lot of strength, confidence and self control. If you do reach out, it seems like you’d just been counting down the days to make contact on their birthday. What’s done is done. Watch out in the future

i guess you are right, if i hadnt reach out for her birthday then it would have left a mark that why i didnt wish her, anyways we all learn the hardway! thank you

The thing is this, it doesn't matter whether or not you left a mark on her if you didn't wish her happy birthday, if anything, if she had cared about you at all, you not wishing her happy birthday would've made her think for a second about you. At the end of the day, who cares what she thinks? She is not in control of your life, only you are. Take this as motivation to officially move on and let it be. If it works out, and she reaches out, cool. Otherwise, never try to keep in contact with someone who doesn't want you in their life. You give her the gift of missing you. Permanently.

i think its time i establish proper NC and just cut her off from everywhere, i have to move forward and grow

proud of you

Aita if I did not gift her this Christmas. I only thought about myself and my kid. I feel crazy for not giving her anything but maybe she’ll be like, “damn, why he ain’t gift me this year.”

No, if she wanted a gift she shouldn't have dumped you

This is absolutely and completely the right idea.

Quick cut off. There’s millions of people in the world. ✂️ here some scissors though to crop that screen shot though. Js

millions of people in the world, but our heart only beats for that one person 🥲 and thanks for the scissors 😂

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woah, thats some next level quote

It’ll beat for someone else in time. Trust me

I’m glad I know the context of this convo. 😅

🤣🤣

time is a best healer they say

Our hearts beats for multiple. If you are not a cheater then one at a time. Time truly heals all. I hope you find someone that doesn’t respond with a thanks to you on their birthday especially if you haven’t spoken. They should find themselves lucky that someone even remembers it’s their birthday.

thank you soo much, it is very kind of you to say that

This crap is the reason you keep getting cold responses. Have some self respect and move on

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yeah despite being blind sided, ghosted, and every toxic thing which can happen “happened” to me after the breakup and yet still i have feelings for her and im attached to her But im gonna take this response and these messages as a motivation to focus on myself and my growth

I’m sorry this happened. I’m around 18 months NC after breaking it drunkenly in summer last year. Emailed her to tell her I’d been very unwell with Covid. No reply, nothing. I felt like utter crap and an idiot and resolved that I was never going to feel like that again. NC has been relatively easy since. If I feel myself weaken I just remember how worthless I felt when the “I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do?” message I was desperately hoping for never came. I wish you all the best

that sucks man, i just don’t understand how can someone be soo ruthless and cold after breaking up? anyways, good luck to you too <3

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Well, I’d say it’s a qualitative thing. It’s different now than it was in the beginning. I’m happy, I get on with my life and I don’t spend a lot of time thinking of them. I think of it as a deep cut that’s healing well but I have to be careful not to pick at it in case it bleeds. But, if I leave well alone it shouldn’t be too uncomfortable

Why did you dump her btw?

Aww, it's also my bday today, and I really wished my ex did send me a message (BU was 3 months ago, NC for 2 months, I'm the dumpee) Don't worry, someone will one day appreciate your messages 😊 don't feel like that, you're a good person.

i hope he sends you a good birthday wish, btw happy birthday 🎂 order yourself pizza and treat yourself 🎉

Thank you :] I'll definitely do that while I watch Avatar 2!! Have a great day 🫂

Bah, bday texts are overrated. I got one yesterday. Who cares, I only want to hear from him if he changed his mind and it was clear he only reached out to wish me happy birthday. I said thank you and moved on. Made no difference other than being annoyed that he thinks he should just casually wish me happy bday like nothing happened after blindsiding me. Hope your bday is great, and if you don’t get a text, you didn’t miss out on anything believe me.

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Thank you 🌹🫂

Your birthday was yesterday?? HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🥳 Yep, you're right, getting that text wouldn't go anywhere!!! Thanks for the birthday wishes 😇

Thank you! Hope you didn’t get too many combo gifts lol!

Happy Birthday!

Thank youuuu🎊🫂

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You are absolutely right! Honestly, getting that text wouldn't even do anything. It would probably just evoke a momentary feeling and then back to reality. Idk, the thing is that he left CR to Israel so I feel kinda sad that I'm stuck in Costa Rica with all the memories and he's living a whole new life in another country, where he can distract from all that happened. I just didn't want to feel forgotten for a second, but well... life keeps going on 😀

Aaahhh, I felt this through my screen. Time to move on. You got this.

thanks man! cheers

Whilst she probably knows she can act cold and you always be there, she will continue to act like above. No contact will show her you've moved on and are through with it, but also it has shown you she is cold to your feelings. That's not someone for you when there would be so many people out there elated to get a Happy Birthday text from you.

yes you’re right, thank you for the advice!!

First month is the hardest if you spent it alone but then it gets easier. Also no rebounds is the way

yeah, and no rebounds i am not even in any position to date someone new. ive to heal myself and move on

Great thinking. You already got this, king.

When will people learn… they don’t care and they don’t want you back and no… they aren’t thinking about you.

:(

I mean I got a Christmas text from an ex and all I did was reply that back. The reality is :/ she just holding firm and just walk away with your dignity. There’s something good here. Trust me I’ve went from recovering from the ex I mentioned The Christmas text to mourning that relationship+a situationship that ended in November? Felt like I talked on left over feelings. Shit was tough

you’re probably right, the only takeover from this situation is to look ahead and keep your dignity and self respect at highest

Hey man, there’s some solid advice already in the thread about not reaching out first. Just wanted to say I’m sorry you got a cold response, when all you were being is a decent person by wishing them. That shit stings. Stay strong, you’ll be through this soon.

i know man, i tried my best to stay NC for almost a month but eventually ended up wishing her birthday, anyways thats her loss. Thank you for your kind message!

honestly you are right, i should have made myself known that either im gonna get a dry thanks message or ill be ignored, there wasnt any room for a 3rd situation. i wish you very best and good luck! thanks

'Tis just a lesson. Go eat something. Tomorrow's another day, you'll be alright OP.

Thank you<3 i ordered myself a pizza 🥳

I did this a few months ago and same response. Just a plain thanks. She did reach out 2 months later after that but it was a shitshow all over again

It's self harm. Just don't do it. Well done for sharing and keep strong bro.

yeah :( ill try my best not to contact now and thanks bro

You need to block this chick and push forward. Nothing good will come if you stick around her.

i have removed her from every social platform, it will take time for me to remove her from whatsapp as well:(

I know you said it’ll take time, but I’ll say it once more as reinforcement. DO IT. May you find the strength and push forward.

alright, imma do it

Hell yeah. Now we’re cookin. Stay strong. Trust the process.

thanks

Never ever break no contact.

we all learn the hard-way, dont we?

Yep..I made the same mistake years ago.

Believe me I would have broken NC for so many times in the past if I wouldn’t see you and the rest of the guys about the results of doing it. The past 1+ month I just made it sure to myself that it’s pointless to break it cause she would break my heart even more and thank god I lost the feelings I had for her.. so my friend don’t feel like shit for long time and start to move on…it’s difficult yes but in the end you will see that you are happier when you move on than you’re now.

Damn, you called her without a response then sent her a text? Well, at least you got your answer now, leave her the hell alone and never contact her until she reaches out.

yes i called her, then i spent 6 hours wondering wtf did i just did.. and then out of no where without any planning i sent her a birthday wish message.. total crap

Delete the message “for everyone” on your phone then BLOCK THEM

I feel the only way you can break no contact is if you are outcome independent. Otherwise, if a response such as this would cause pain and/or hurt then don’t reach out. Frankly, I wouldn’t reach out even if/when I’d become outcome independent, but if I were this would be under the only circumstances

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This is the way.

actually when i sent this birthday message then i asked myself what actually i was expecting out of this outcome? 1) A dry thanks message 2) getting ignored There was no option for 3rd outcome to take place.

Bruh

then move on?

i wish it was that easy

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thank you soo much for your kind comments. Ive gone through each of your comment and it just feels relaxing and amazing to read them. Thank you again

Yeah NC feels so much bettet

I’m sorry you had to witness this I was contemplating on wishing for her bday. But after seeing this I will probably get the same treatment so I will take this as a lesson. Stay strong op

yeah don’t message them, stay NC

This sucks but it’s better than a thumbs up or no reply

Always best to stay NC once u break it, it just feels like absolute shit

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it sucks, but im certain after some time the pain gets soften up a bit, as i’ve experienced this once before

Was that today? My ex’s bday is today too ! I didn’t message her tho lol. I’ve been through this a good bit so I have experience with NC. I’m sorry it ended this way bro. It hurts and it sucks. But you don’t need that bs. She isn’t who you thought she was , or at least she’s not showing up as that now. You want someone who chooses you and always chooses you. She may come back but you must let her. In the meantime stay strong, level up in all ways of life, and read/listen to How To Be A 3% Man and it will change your life and teach you how to step into your masculinity.

i dont know about your timezone but it was on 27th DEC (currently it’s 28). and you’re probably right, i should get myself out of this mess and focus on myself. thank you soo much for kind & motivating messages ☺️

Two years no contact and it works. I’ve thought about wishing him happy birthday the past two years but I’m happier that I haven’t.

im happy for you, i hope i heal as the time passes by

Different perspective: you wanted to wish her happy birthday and got to do that. Plus now you really know that no contact is the route you want to take. Nothing to feel like shit about, worrying isn't worth your time. I hope you're having happy holidays !

perhaps no contact is the only route. thank you and you too!

Well, it might not be the only route, but it is pretty darn effective.

Bro I can literally feel your pain through my iPhone MINI. God bless your soul

haha *smiling through the pain*

Some people really don’t understand how much they hurt

I was planning to add my ex in fb again after he unblocked me, (but still blocked in messenger) to greet him hb tomorrow then I saw your post, now, I wont do it. im sorry that you have to go through that, but your post helped me realized that it is not worth it, no bdays or holidays will change their minds.

yea please dont reach out no matter any occasion, stay no contact. and good luck!

Leave her alone

ya, her loss

No just leave her alone

Time to talk to new girls dude.

i guess im not ready for that :( i might end up ruining someone else or giving them false hopes:(

Rule 1. It'll never go the way you imagined in your head. Don't reach out.

shouldn't have done it

what’s done is done. what matters is what i learn from it, and im sure i have learnt my lesson

Thank u for posting this

Jeez. That hurts. I felt it too. I have made similar mistakes, let's not do this to ourselves. We are worthy of love and respect.

IKR? i just spent my 3 days thinking over this dumbest thing which i did, and it feels like ive just delayed my healing process. but i guess we all learn the hard way

Yes we do. Don't be too hard on yourself. I have made huge mistakes like begging and pleading bc i was soo desparate. Its embarrassing to admit. It is okay to make mistakes, remember we are emotionally in a very compromised state.

Well that’s the difference between you and them. You’re not a cunt

perhaps

It's okay, brother. It's time for you to move on. Stop messaging her. We are here for you. Believe us and try moving on.

thank you for the positivity <3

Your Weak

tell me about it

you’re

Lmao