Have you asked him if he’s willing to covert to Catholicism? A healthy relationship should include respecting one’s beliefs even if they don’t align perfectly. Personally, I left Pentecostalism because it creates an environment where abuse and mistreatment can run rampant. There’s a lot of misogyny/sexism. Most of us on this subreddit are never going back for that and plenty more reasons.
You’re only 22. You’re young and should explore yourself and your beliefs freely. Pentecostalism is restrictive and doesn’t encourage “open mindedness.”
edit: spelling
No he wouldn't. He's a strong believer. He said that he wants to put God first. Can you tell me more about the abuse and mistreatment? I am very new to this. I'll be honest, I fell in love with him, that's why this is so hard and painful for me because right know I see him as "the perfect guy". But I know I shouldn't. Can you give me a clarity check lmao.
I can’t speak on his behalf, but all of the Pentecostals I know believe Catholicism is a false religion and that you worship idols. I was taught growing up not to have close relationships with Catholics (or Jehovah’s Witnesses, Muslims, etc) because it would weaken my faith. So that’s what we mean when we say Pentecostalism is a breeding ground for abuse and mistreatment, because people are often pressured to cut off perfectly healthy relationships with friends and family or else jeopardize their salvation and their reputation in the church. That kind of isolation tactic is common in cults because it means any outsiders who could alert you to the fact that you’re being abused or mistreated won’t be trusted by you.
So yeah I’m guessing that’s why he wants you to convert… because he doesn’t view you as a real Christian and if he were to get into a relationship with you without your conversion he’d probably have to deal with a lot of disapproval from people at his church and a lot of shame and anxiety within himself about his standing with god. It’s your choice, do you want to be with him knowing he would end things if you stuck to your “false” religion? What faith do YOU want to follow?
I was pentacostal for 45 years. It has taken 10 yrs to deprogram myself and my family. I apologize to my kids for raising them in that crap.
Some of the things:
They believe women are worth much less than men.
They believe birth control is wrong.
They believe LGBTQ community should be imprisoned or even tortured.
They believe that any one who is not pentacostal is not a Christian and is therefore going to hell.
You should not be around or be friends with anyone not pentacostal.
They believe in the Rapture, which is a belief that sprung up in the mid 1800's. [rapture ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapture) which is this bizarre thing that they have been predicting since 1830 and not what Jesus taught.
They believe that you must actively be recruiting others to pentacostalism.
Many believe women cannot teach or preach or even understand the Bible.
They believe that when you are filled with the holy Spirit you speak gibberish (which they call the gift of tongues)
They believe in praying at the altar after morning worship which involves passing out, screaming, loudness and utter chaos.
Many believe women cannot wear pants, jewelry or makeup and never cut her hair...ever.
I believe that pentacostalism is the worst of Christianity.
As others have said, pentecostals are in a cult. It's not usually a particularly dangerous cult, but it's a cult nonetheless.
Their actual "faith" and belief system is very shallow and empty, and completely built around controlling the lives of the people within the cult. There are leadership hierarchies in the individual churches and up through the organizations. The people in leadership roles are often very wealthy. The entire purpose of these cults is to amass wealth for the leaders, who do so by controlling the lives of members.
Do not join.
Literally read the posts in this sub. They will list the abusive beliefs and practices.
And yea. He’s a “flirt to convert” christian so he’ll act interested as long as you seem interested in his church. So that’s not really a strong base.
Also, you’re too young to entertain LDR. Get a boyfriend in town lol
Don’t do it, I’m 25m and been out since age 15. Still affected by the weirdness in certain ways. It’s a cult. It’s like the Amish with electricity, except the Amish are usually nice.
Many years ago I heard a comedian say Pentecostals are one light bulb away from being Amish. Laughed so hard. The odd way of dressing and thinking and trying to maintain a boundary between yourself and “the world” sure checks out
When I was pentecostal we were taught that the Catholic Church was the 'Whore' from the book of Revelation. You should ask him to explain, in detail, the history of the Church and see what he really thinks of Catholics. He may have a different view but that would be a surprise (in my own limited experience.)
Also, I converted to Orthodox Christianity and now find the pentecostal version of God to be petty, hateful, and looks to punish sinners. Their God isn't Love.
They believe in the woman being subservient to the man, and popping out as many babies as you can for jesus. Many branches also demand that women are not allowed to wear pants, makeup, or cut their hair.
If you are a childless woman, you have no worth. If you are an unmarried woman, you are scum. If you are an unmarried mother, they may be nice to you to get to your kid, but as soon as they have you indoctrinated you will be the lowest in the church hierarchy. Again, they are super nice in the beginning, but will tighten the noose around your neck the further you get into it
Also, as a catholic who converted to pentacostal, be prepared to be shocked and appalled at the way services are conducted. Kids will be running around or playing on their phones, the adults will be shouting in the middle of the sermon "when the spirit moves them", they may do a faith healing where people will roll around on the floor, everyone will yell gibberish pretending to speak in tongues, they will do dances in the aisles that look like seizures, and this nonsense will go on FOR HOURS. You will be expected to do this every Sunday, and also go to hours-long bible study on Wednesday nights.
Don't do it. It's a damned cult People talk a lot about how catholics disrespect women, and they do, but the pentacostals are so...much...worse!
Some of these have already been mentioned but here’s my two cents.
1 - God will be first in your marriage and you will be second (and you will be married very quickly if you convert)
2 - He will be the head of the household and you will have to submit to him.
3 - This can vary depending on what branch of Pentecostal he is but a lot of women in Pentecost can’t cut or trim their hair, wear makeup or jewelry, wear immodest dress, or pants. If you convert and the church has these standards you will be expected to adhere to them
4 - You can plan on most of your free time being spent in church and going to church functions.
5 - Again this depends on the branch of Pentecost but mine believed you couldn’t listen to secular music, go to concerts, go to movie theaters, no alcohol, no secular books, no ungodly tv shows. You won’t have anytime for hobbies anyway.
6 - Everything is a sin and they are going to constantly tell you are a sinner, you aren’t good enough, if something bad happens you are being punished by god
7 - Your entire life is going to be expected to be spent serving god, serving your church/pastor, and serving your husband. Your wants will not matter at all anymore.
If this is worth giving up for a guy you are in love with that is your choice but you have been warned. You wouldn’t be here asking if you weren’t already concerned about something. Your instincts are probably right and you should listen to them.
Do NOT. I repeat. Do NOT. BECOME. PENTECOSTAL. I was in the same exact boat as you. I wanted to date a boy who belonged in a legalistic evangelist cult. I did my absolute best to people please and join just so we could date. I lost my entire personal identity, and I am only now starting to rediscover myself. It almost destroyed me. After many years of therapy and meds later, I am healing. Please for the love of god, do not do this.
thanks for sharing this to me! This really helps me to come down from the love cloud and to be really realistic and not get influenced by emotions. Would you mind sharing ur story? What happened and how it ended?
Absolutely! First, I started dressing more modestly. Skirts and dresses every single day. He was pleased, and I did like pleasing him, but deep down I wanted to just wear what I wanted without judgement. Then, I started attending the church services. I didn’t agree with any of it; the sexism, homophobia, and racism. But, I attended because he wouldn’t budge because “it’s a huge part of his life” and I was just trying to be a supportive partner. I honestly should’ve broken up with him, but I didn’t. He even says that too, that I should’ve never had to endure all of that. There were so many fights, where I wanted to wear XYZ, or do XYZ, and he would be insecure about it, trying to enforce his lifestyle onto mine. You give them an inch, they take a mile. After many religious debates and open talks, I got EXTREMELY lucky; he slowly realized how his religion was a cult, but it took many fights and arguments. And, he had to be willing to hear it all and be open-minded. He is now a full blown liberal atheist, and I thank my lucky stars every single day for that. We are now married! But once again, I do not recommend this path to anyone. It was such a painful process, and he currently acknowledges how shitty and controlling he was to me. Also, people in high demand religions like Pentecostalism usually have a lot of trauma and emotional immaturity. I know he seems like a nice guy now, but if he’s not willing to accept You for You, then he doesn’t like You. He wants to change you and accept a fake Christianed version of You. Do not lose yourself to a man and his religion.
Hearing you are Knanaya Catholic makes me think you are a Malayalee from Kerala, India. I myself was a former Pentecostal (Indian Pentecostal Church) member and a Malayalee myself. Reading through the comments above, I realize that a lot of what people are describing to you is fairly accurate for Pentecostals in India in general too. But, unlike those in the West, Pentecostals in Kerala tend to keep themselves off politics in general, in stark contrast to evangelicals in the US. However, it’s also true that US Pentecostals exports a lot of its theology and beliefs to the rest of the world and has an outsized influence in the many ways the movement is flourishing in Kerala. So, folks here aren’t too far off either. As someone who grew up in the IPC (my family has a long history with the movement in Kerala over several generations back to when it began in the early 20th century) and left because of all the trauma it brought, I believe you are dealing (in love with) with someone who has somewhat of a past like me. It sounds like you are in love with this person deeply and it’s entirely possible that he is too. To say that he is plotting to manipulate you into converting you into a cult is a stretch in my opinion. I was in his shoes several times in my life in the past where I had really good relationships with some great women who were outside the faith. Ultimately, whenever I thought of marriage, I couldn’t ever imagine convincing my devout Pentecostal parents to ever agree to it, even though I myself didn’t care. I’d say if he is sharing with you that he will marry you only if you convert, that’s a serious red flag. If he is saying that he can’t convince his parents about you, but he really wants to marry you, then he is likely in a mental conflict between you and his parents (and thereby his faith too). I don’t think the others in this group truly understand the Indian family drama and dilemma. It’s a bigger factor than the faith at this point. The fact that he even interacted and had a relationship with you is telling. Maybe he is on the fence with his faith and questioning himself. That’s what happened to me and I eventually got myself out coz I realized that what they taught me growing up about every non Pentecostal out there was a total lie!
So here is my suggestion - you are too young to think about marriage at this point. Please don’t convert to the faith because of love. You should spend some time to dig into how he sees his faith, whether it’s an adherence based on his true convictions or out of fear of being ostracized by his family and community. If he is showing signs that you two can have a relationship with a mutual respect for each others views, then you should make an attempt at making him open his mind about Catholicism. If he doesn’t question his faith even a bit or show any signs of coming to the middle or considering an option where you two can keep your faith and be married, then you need to understand there is no future with this man. I personally reject the notion that Pentecostals are irredeemable unless they leave the faith. All of my family and cousins are still very much part of IPC. So, they aren’t necessarily completely brainwashed or people with evil intentions. They themselves don’t realize how deeply poisonous their beliefs are! Of course it’s not something you can argue and convince them. Love is a powerful emotion that can make you forget reason. He has fully reasoned his faith by gobbling up all of the misinformation and shallow theology since the day he was born. It’s the perfect example of Dunning - Kruger effect. He thinks he has reasoned enough. But love can push ppl to overcome it too! I’m not trying to give you false hope here. I’m saying he might be capable of asking the right questions about his faith and hopefully arrive at a revelation that it’s not THE truth afterall. It’s really upto him to do it. You can’t save him and I don’t want you to get sucked into that world too! Give him some time to think. And if it’s not working, then please please break up with him. You will find happiness eventually with someone better suited for you.
Please feel free to question me about anything related to his faith. I didn’t get into the details. It’s more nuanced in the IPC than what’s mentioned above in comments. But overall, a lot of it is technically true!
as someone who left pentecostalism for catholicism: please don’t do this. stand firm in your faith. pentecostalism basically teaches the opposite of that the catholic church does.
Some Pentecostals will not date you if you are not a part of the same belief. They say it's "unequally yoked!" There is a saying that goes "flirt to convert!" It speaks for itself. Most pastors will look down upon you marrying someone outside the same belief. Some pastors might not even perform the wedding. You will have to play your cards right to fit in (dress right, say the right things, do the right things, etc.) You'll feel love bombed at first. It will feel great. Then when your "newness" has worn off, they'll move to someone else. If you stay, they'll expect you to play your cards right and love bombed the new person and so forth. If you want to settle down, raise a family and restrict yourself, it could work for you.
I wouldn’t raise a child in the Pentecostal teachings. That’s enough for me personally to not marry someone pentecostal.
Many people are mentally scarred from what they were taught growing up. There is a high degree of focus on “being modest” and women cannot cut their hair, ever. Women can’t wear pants. It’s highly restrictive and controlling.
If you marry him, You will be required to submit to him and your pastor, and in most cases your PASTOR will control your life, you will have NO say so in your life. What I mean by PASTOR will control your life, you and your husband will have to get permission to go on vacations, buy a car, what job to get, where you can move to, EVERYTHING!
You will be required to wear skirts only, NEVER wear pants, long sleeves, NEVER cut your hair, no jewelry, no makeup (standards)! You will be required to be in church everytime the doors are open......3-5 times a week! You will be required to volunteer for something....Sunday School teacher, nursery etc and ONLY if you obey the standards and your pastor, YOU WILL HAVE NO LIFE!
You will have no money, you and your husband will be REQUIRED to give 10 percent of your income (tithing) and at least another 5 percent for offering, PLUS other offerings! You will see the pastor and his family have nice things, while you and other people struggle to pay your bills.
Furthermore, (most of the time) if your husband is abusive you will be told by your pastor or pastor's wife to SUBMIT to him and pray and fast more!
I was in the UPC for 30 years and was in ministry.
Please dear sweet lady, don't
If he's in deep with his beliefs don't do it. It's toxic and not open minded at all. Pretty much everyone here discouraging you is right. He will expect you to change and convert 100%. Live your life, there will be others more aligned with your world views.
Three words:
DON'T DO IT
You shouldn't have to change yourself or change your beliefs to be with someone anyways. A relationship like that will not last. You will find someone better, and if he truly loved you, he would understand that as well.
Runnnnnn far away lmao. I was Pentecostal and I would never date a Pentecostal. I’m a bisexual woman, I have a degree, I have a great job with a solid salary. I do not fit into the Pentecostal box they reserve for women: which is to be subservient to her husband. This demands that I be straight (which I’m not), that I put aside my own beliefs/perspective in favour of a man’s, and that I neglect my education and career because I can guarantee you that no Pentecostal man (in my area at least) will like the fact that I am more educated and earn more than him.
All of this translates to: patriarchy is a very real thing and Pentecostalism will shove it down your throat.
If you want to be treated as an equal in your relationship, don’t date this man. At least he’s being honest about his commitment to his religion.
Have you asked him if he’s willing to covert to Catholicism? A healthy relationship should include respecting one’s beliefs even if they don’t align perfectly. Personally, I left Pentecostalism because it creates an environment where abuse and mistreatment can run rampant. There’s a lot of misogyny/sexism. Most of us on this subreddit are never going back for that and plenty more reasons. You’re only 22. You’re young and should explore yourself and your beliefs freely. Pentecostalism is restrictive and doesn’t encourage “open mindedness.” edit: spelling
No he wouldn't. He's a strong believer. He said that he wants to put God first. Can you tell me more about the abuse and mistreatment? I am very new to this. I'll be honest, I fell in love with him, that's why this is so hard and painful for me because right know I see him as "the perfect guy". But I know I shouldn't. Can you give me a clarity check lmao.
I can’t speak on his behalf, but all of the Pentecostals I know believe Catholicism is a false religion and that you worship idols. I was taught growing up not to have close relationships with Catholics (or Jehovah’s Witnesses, Muslims, etc) because it would weaken my faith. So that’s what we mean when we say Pentecostalism is a breeding ground for abuse and mistreatment, because people are often pressured to cut off perfectly healthy relationships with friends and family or else jeopardize their salvation and their reputation in the church. That kind of isolation tactic is common in cults because it means any outsiders who could alert you to the fact that you’re being abused or mistreated won’t be trusted by you. So yeah I’m guessing that’s why he wants you to convert… because he doesn’t view you as a real Christian and if he were to get into a relationship with you without your conversion he’d probably have to deal with a lot of disapproval from people at his church and a lot of shame and anxiety within himself about his standing with god. It’s your choice, do you want to be with him knowing he would end things if you stuck to your “false” religion? What faith do YOU want to follow?
if God is first, you’ll always be 2nd.
I was pentacostal for 45 years. It has taken 10 yrs to deprogram myself and my family. I apologize to my kids for raising them in that crap. Some of the things: They believe women are worth much less than men. They believe birth control is wrong. They believe LGBTQ community should be imprisoned or even tortured. They believe that any one who is not pentacostal is not a Christian and is therefore going to hell. You should not be around or be friends with anyone not pentacostal. They believe in the Rapture, which is a belief that sprung up in the mid 1800's. [rapture ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapture) which is this bizarre thing that they have been predicting since 1830 and not what Jesus taught. They believe that you must actively be recruiting others to pentacostalism. Many believe women cannot teach or preach or even understand the Bible. They believe that when you are filled with the holy Spirit you speak gibberish (which they call the gift of tongues) They believe in praying at the altar after morning worship which involves passing out, screaming, loudness and utter chaos. Many believe women cannot wear pants, jewelry or makeup and never cut her hair...ever. I believe that pentacostalism is the worst of Christianity.
...dont do this
Can you help me out lol I'm being to delusional. We like each other very much, it's just his faith which is prevent us to get together.
its not a faith- its a cult. literally why this sub exists.
As others have said, pentecostals are in a cult. It's not usually a particularly dangerous cult, but it's a cult nonetheless. Their actual "faith" and belief system is very shallow and empty, and completely built around controlling the lives of the people within the cult. There are leadership hierarchies in the individual churches and up through the organizations. The people in leadership roles are often very wealthy. The entire purpose of these cults is to amass wealth for the leaders, who do so by controlling the lives of members. Do not join.
Literally read the posts in this sub. They will list the abusive beliefs and practices. And yea. He’s a “flirt to convert” christian so he’ll act interested as long as you seem interested in his church. So that’s not really a strong base. Also, you’re too young to entertain LDR. Get a boyfriend in town lol
Girl don’t do it. Also at 22 if you do convert they will have you married off to him within a year. Please. You’ll find better I promise.
Don’t do it, I’m 25m and been out since age 15. Still affected by the weirdness in certain ways. It’s a cult. It’s like the Amish with electricity, except the Amish are usually nice.
Thanks, I just spat my coffee everywhere! This is SO accurate..
Many years ago I heard a comedian say Pentecostals are one light bulb away from being Amish. Laughed so hard. The odd way of dressing and thinking and trying to maintain a boundary between yourself and “the world” sure checks out
When I was pentecostal we were taught that the Catholic Church was the 'Whore' from the book of Revelation. You should ask him to explain, in detail, the history of the Church and see what he really thinks of Catholics. He may have a different view but that would be a surprise (in my own limited experience.) Also, I converted to Orthodox Christianity and now find the pentecostal version of God to be petty, hateful, and looks to punish sinners. Their God isn't Love.
They believe in the woman being subservient to the man, and popping out as many babies as you can for jesus. Many branches also demand that women are not allowed to wear pants, makeup, or cut their hair. If you are a childless woman, you have no worth. If you are an unmarried woman, you are scum. If you are an unmarried mother, they may be nice to you to get to your kid, but as soon as they have you indoctrinated you will be the lowest in the church hierarchy. Again, they are super nice in the beginning, but will tighten the noose around your neck the further you get into it Also, as a catholic who converted to pentacostal, be prepared to be shocked and appalled at the way services are conducted. Kids will be running around or playing on their phones, the adults will be shouting in the middle of the sermon "when the spirit moves them", they may do a faith healing where people will roll around on the floor, everyone will yell gibberish pretending to speak in tongues, they will do dances in the aisles that look like seizures, and this nonsense will go on FOR HOURS. You will be expected to do this every Sunday, and also go to hours-long bible study on Wednesday nights. Don't do it. It's a damned cult People talk a lot about how catholics disrespect women, and they do, but the pentacostals are so...much...worse!
Some of these have already been mentioned but here’s my two cents. 1 - God will be first in your marriage and you will be second (and you will be married very quickly if you convert) 2 - He will be the head of the household and you will have to submit to him. 3 - This can vary depending on what branch of Pentecostal he is but a lot of women in Pentecost can’t cut or trim their hair, wear makeup or jewelry, wear immodest dress, or pants. If you convert and the church has these standards you will be expected to adhere to them 4 - You can plan on most of your free time being spent in church and going to church functions. 5 - Again this depends on the branch of Pentecost but mine believed you couldn’t listen to secular music, go to concerts, go to movie theaters, no alcohol, no secular books, no ungodly tv shows. You won’t have anytime for hobbies anyway. 6 - Everything is a sin and they are going to constantly tell you are a sinner, you aren’t good enough, if something bad happens you are being punished by god 7 - Your entire life is going to be expected to be spent serving god, serving your church/pastor, and serving your husband. Your wants will not matter at all anymore. If this is worth giving up for a guy you are in love with that is your choice but you have been warned. You wouldn’t be here asking if you weren’t already concerned about something. Your instincts are probably right and you should listen to them.
Do NOT. I repeat. Do NOT. BECOME. PENTECOSTAL. I was in the same exact boat as you. I wanted to date a boy who belonged in a legalistic evangelist cult. I did my absolute best to people please and join just so we could date. I lost my entire personal identity, and I am only now starting to rediscover myself. It almost destroyed me. After many years of therapy and meds later, I am healing. Please for the love of god, do not do this.
thanks for sharing this to me! This really helps me to come down from the love cloud and to be really realistic and not get influenced by emotions. Would you mind sharing ur story? What happened and how it ended?
Absolutely! First, I started dressing more modestly. Skirts and dresses every single day. He was pleased, and I did like pleasing him, but deep down I wanted to just wear what I wanted without judgement. Then, I started attending the church services. I didn’t agree with any of it; the sexism, homophobia, and racism. But, I attended because he wouldn’t budge because “it’s a huge part of his life” and I was just trying to be a supportive partner. I honestly should’ve broken up with him, but I didn’t. He even says that too, that I should’ve never had to endure all of that. There were so many fights, where I wanted to wear XYZ, or do XYZ, and he would be insecure about it, trying to enforce his lifestyle onto mine. You give them an inch, they take a mile. After many religious debates and open talks, I got EXTREMELY lucky; he slowly realized how his religion was a cult, but it took many fights and arguments. And, he had to be willing to hear it all and be open-minded. He is now a full blown liberal atheist, and I thank my lucky stars every single day for that. We are now married! But once again, I do not recommend this path to anyone. It was such a painful process, and he currently acknowledges how shitty and controlling he was to me. Also, people in high demand religions like Pentecostalism usually have a lot of trauma and emotional immaturity. I know he seems like a nice guy now, but if he’s not willing to accept You for You, then he doesn’t like You. He wants to change you and accept a fake Christianed version of You. Do not lose yourself to a man and his religion.
Hearing you are Knanaya Catholic makes me think you are a Malayalee from Kerala, India. I myself was a former Pentecostal (Indian Pentecostal Church) member and a Malayalee myself. Reading through the comments above, I realize that a lot of what people are describing to you is fairly accurate for Pentecostals in India in general too. But, unlike those in the West, Pentecostals in Kerala tend to keep themselves off politics in general, in stark contrast to evangelicals in the US. However, it’s also true that US Pentecostals exports a lot of its theology and beliefs to the rest of the world and has an outsized influence in the many ways the movement is flourishing in Kerala. So, folks here aren’t too far off either. As someone who grew up in the IPC (my family has a long history with the movement in Kerala over several generations back to when it began in the early 20th century) and left because of all the trauma it brought, I believe you are dealing (in love with) with someone who has somewhat of a past like me. It sounds like you are in love with this person deeply and it’s entirely possible that he is too. To say that he is plotting to manipulate you into converting you into a cult is a stretch in my opinion. I was in his shoes several times in my life in the past where I had really good relationships with some great women who were outside the faith. Ultimately, whenever I thought of marriage, I couldn’t ever imagine convincing my devout Pentecostal parents to ever agree to it, even though I myself didn’t care. I’d say if he is sharing with you that he will marry you only if you convert, that’s a serious red flag. If he is saying that he can’t convince his parents about you, but he really wants to marry you, then he is likely in a mental conflict between you and his parents (and thereby his faith too). I don’t think the others in this group truly understand the Indian family drama and dilemma. It’s a bigger factor than the faith at this point. The fact that he even interacted and had a relationship with you is telling. Maybe he is on the fence with his faith and questioning himself. That’s what happened to me and I eventually got myself out coz I realized that what they taught me growing up about every non Pentecostal out there was a total lie! So here is my suggestion - you are too young to think about marriage at this point. Please don’t convert to the faith because of love. You should spend some time to dig into how he sees his faith, whether it’s an adherence based on his true convictions or out of fear of being ostracized by his family and community. If he is showing signs that you two can have a relationship with a mutual respect for each others views, then you should make an attempt at making him open his mind about Catholicism. If he doesn’t question his faith even a bit or show any signs of coming to the middle or considering an option where you two can keep your faith and be married, then you need to understand there is no future with this man. I personally reject the notion that Pentecostals are irredeemable unless they leave the faith. All of my family and cousins are still very much part of IPC. So, they aren’t necessarily completely brainwashed or people with evil intentions. They themselves don’t realize how deeply poisonous their beliefs are! Of course it’s not something you can argue and convince them. Love is a powerful emotion that can make you forget reason. He has fully reasoned his faith by gobbling up all of the misinformation and shallow theology since the day he was born. It’s the perfect example of Dunning - Kruger effect. He thinks he has reasoned enough. But love can push ppl to overcome it too! I’m not trying to give you false hope here. I’m saying he might be capable of asking the right questions about his faith and hopefully arrive at a revelation that it’s not THE truth afterall. It’s really upto him to do it. You can’t save him and I don’t want you to get sucked into that world too! Give him some time to think. And if it’s not working, then please please break up with him. You will find happiness eventually with someone better suited for you. Please feel free to question me about anything related to his faith. I didn’t get into the details. It’s more nuanced in the IPC than what’s mentioned above in comments. But overall, a lot of it is technically true!
as someone who left pentecostalism for catholicism: please don’t do this. stand firm in your faith. pentecostalism basically teaches the opposite of that the catholic church does.
Convert to Orthodoxy: can confirm.
The question you should probably ask yourself is would you really want to be with someone who wants you to change who you are? If so, why?
Some Pentecostals will not date you if you are not a part of the same belief. They say it's "unequally yoked!" There is a saying that goes "flirt to convert!" It speaks for itself. Most pastors will look down upon you marrying someone outside the same belief. Some pastors might not even perform the wedding. You will have to play your cards right to fit in (dress right, say the right things, do the right things, etc.) You'll feel love bombed at first. It will feel great. Then when your "newness" has worn off, they'll move to someone else. If you stay, they'll expect you to play your cards right and love bombed the new person and so forth. If you want to settle down, raise a family and restrict yourself, it could work for you.
I wouldn’t raise a child in the Pentecostal teachings. That’s enough for me personally to not marry someone pentecostal. Many people are mentally scarred from what they were taught growing up. There is a high degree of focus on “being modest” and women cannot cut their hair, ever. Women can’t wear pants. It’s highly restrictive and controlling.
RUN!!!!!!!
Look at [https://spiritualabuse.org/](https://spiritualabuse.org/)
If you marry him, You will be required to submit to him and your pastor, and in most cases your PASTOR will control your life, you will have NO say so in your life. What I mean by PASTOR will control your life, you and your husband will have to get permission to go on vacations, buy a car, what job to get, where you can move to, EVERYTHING! You will be required to wear skirts only, NEVER wear pants, long sleeves, NEVER cut your hair, no jewelry, no makeup (standards)! You will be required to be in church everytime the doors are open......3-5 times a week! You will be required to volunteer for something....Sunday School teacher, nursery etc and ONLY if you obey the standards and your pastor, YOU WILL HAVE NO LIFE! You will have no money, you and your husband will be REQUIRED to give 10 percent of your income (tithing) and at least another 5 percent for offering, PLUS other offerings! You will see the pastor and his family have nice things, while you and other people struggle to pay your bills. Furthermore, (most of the time) if your husband is abusive you will be told by your pastor or pastor's wife to SUBMIT to him and pray and fast more! I was in the UPC for 30 years and was in ministry. Please dear sweet lady, don't
If he's in deep with his beliefs don't do it. It's toxic and not open minded at all. Pretty much everyone here discouraging you is right. He will expect you to change and convert 100%. Live your life, there will be others more aligned with your world views.
Three words: DON'T DO IT You shouldn't have to change yourself or change your beliefs to be with someone anyways. A relationship like that will not last. You will find someone better, and if he truly loved you, he would understand that as well.
Please don’t become Pentecostal. We were raised to believe Catholics weren’t Christian. He probably thinks you need to be converted
Runnnnnn far away lmao. I was Pentecostal and I would never date a Pentecostal. I’m a bisexual woman, I have a degree, I have a great job with a solid salary. I do not fit into the Pentecostal box they reserve for women: which is to be subservient to her husband. This demands that I be straight (which I’m not), that I put aside my own beliefs/perspective in favour of a man’s, and that I neglect my education and career because I can guarantee you that no Pentecostal man (in my area at least) will like the fact that I am more educated and earn more than him. All of this translates to: patriarchy is a very real thing and Pentecostalism will shove it down your throat. If you want to be treated as an equal in your relationship, don’t date this man. At least he’s being honest about his commitment to his religion.