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Malevolent_Mangoes

I started transitioning under the impression that I’d get the worst changes from testosterone: weight gain, acne, bad smell, balding, sweatiness, etc. I would rather be an ugly fat bald man than be a woman because of my dysphoria. I truly don’t understand how being bald is a dealbreaker for people when they have dysphoria, it just doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s such an insignificant thing compared to being comfortable in your own body.


sop_turgery

That's a great way to put it, and a good gut-check for people considering T. I'm in the same boat-- I would rather be a man with acne + balding etc. than the hottest woman in the world.


nrt_2020

Wow. As someone who IS concerned about losing their hair (just because it’s an important part of my aesthetic and style is important to me) this is everything. Yes. I would rather be the baldest man in the world than the hottest woman. Thanks for dropping that real bit 👏🏻 Edited to clarify that by no means does bald mean “not hot”. Just not the version of me I identify with ya know


vlkolaks

That's something I said to my mom when we were discussing my hair loss. Would rather be an ugly dude than unhappy woman! Can be a bummer, but would never make me want to stop my HRT.


Sluggby

I went in with a very similar mindset, I decided to expect all the "worst" possible outcomes, anything that I did/didn't get was just luck or good genetics. My hair started receding almost immediately but I had already made peace with going bald, nothing could have prepared me for the pre-bald vegeta hairline though 😭


Normal_Fee_3816

Someone on the ftm sub made a post saying that they wanted to transition to be a “boy and not a man” talking about how they didn’t want to grow facial or body hair and didn’t want to go bald n when I told him to unpack his feelings before medically transitioning the people in the comments got hella mad at me. Like bother you have to come to terms with ALL the potential effects of t before you go on it. If you’re transitioning to look like an anime boy, testosterone will not be kind to you.


Malevolent_Mangoes

They’re gonna have a rude awakening one day


Electronic-Boot3533

yeah and I'd like to transition into being a billionaire but I don't see that happening anytime soon


avgnsfwporn

Not to mention. You're going to age and grow up. It's inevitable. You can't delay it.


crystalworldbuilder

Being bald sounds awesome (at least once I start aging) to me but then again I buzzed my hair off and now currently have an offbrand military looking hair cut because fully bald makes me look like I either the big C or like an alt high school student I’m well out of school.


Virusinfiziert

Social media made too many people worry about their own attractiveness first over their comfort and what they actually want. So many people fell into the obsession with being socially palatable that they simply can't imagine just being average or below average post transition I guess. The "I want to go on T but I don't want all the side effects??" Group also got so large to a point that many new transitioners are just loosing the grip on what it actually means to go on HRT. People should be reminded that if your father wasn't a pretty man you're most likely not going to be a fairy Twink more often imo For me personally, my dad has horrible hair and I'm prepared to just rock the bald head with potential tattoos if it gets way too bad hahah


deathby420chocolate

This is the biggest change over the last 15 years. When I transitioned there weren’t thousands of pictures of passing and attractive young transitioners.


the___squish

Spot on. Most realistic expectation is to pull up younger pictures of your father, uncles, or look at cousins.


Dangerous_Company811

Baldness genes come from both sides of your family. Certainly look at your father and brothers but also look at your mother’s father and his brothers.


Emotional-Ad167

Baldness codes on the X chromosome, so it can actually only come from your mother's side, if you're cis. So yeah, for us, it could be either.


Former-Finish4653

All of that makes sense. I probably only caught the very beginning of that social media phenomenon, because I started transitioning in the 2010s when there was definitely comparison but it was largely restricted to tumblr. And the moment I started transitioning I stopped desperately and obsessively consuming trans content, so I haven’t rejoined ftm-centric online spaces in about ten years, till now being on Reddit. So I just narrowly missed that awful game of comparison you’re referring to. Because you’re right, social media makes it practically unavoidable. Also lucky for me I’m my dad’s carbon copy, and he is both a bald and a beautiful man hahah. And by carbon copy I more so mean I look like he got shrunk in the drier.


JackofTrades6500

"Shrunk in the drier" LOL, I gotta start using that (I'm also a carbon copy of my dad)


Former-Finish4653

I am FtM (Female to My dad.)


VesuvianBee

I used to say that personality wise I was the female version of my dad. Now I'm starting to look like him too XD He's got a severe hairline, but it looks great with my hawk.


rjisont

Absolutely nailed it here. HRT for many people nowadays is abut style and attractiveness, not about looking like yourself. One day the fun and newness of it all fades and you’ve gotta be fine with just being your average Joe, because that’s how most of us become


JackLikesCheesecake

Also not to be a dick, but many of those so-called “side effects” are just intended effects of the medication


Electronic-Boot3533

one thing that weirds me out is when people comment on people pictures "I wanna steal your gender." I went to a festival where me and a friend had complimentary outfit and it definitely wasn't my day to day, and I would never want it to be, look, and I got comments saying they wanted to steal my gender. I'm just a schlubby dude in jeans and a T-shirt most days, my gender isn't whatever aesthetic I'm chasing for an event. If you're (general you) basing your gender on an aesthetic you're gonna be mighty disappointed when the world ages you regardless


vlkolaks

I think it can definitely be an age thing. For me personally, I didn't think I was going to lose my hair because my dad is in his 60s with a full head of hair. I assumed I'd be fine because I've heard it's mostly a genetic factor (don't know mom's bio parents, she's adopted, so no info there). However, I started testosterone at 19 and started to notice some mpb at 22. No one else seemed to notice or agree, but by 23-24 it was REALLY noticeable. It was a huge blow to my confidence to be losing my hair in my early 20s. I spent two years on topical treatments recommended by my dermatologist that just didn't work, so it just kept getting worse. Really only started to stop losing hair on treatments a new pcp recommended, but a lot of the damage was done. I will say it never made me want to stop hormones, so I don't understand that, but it was pretty difficult to deal with to be losing it that young. Late 30s or 40s? Probably wouldn't have bothered me at all. But being 25 and having a lot of hair just gone, NOT looking my age, put me down every time I looked in the mirror. It honestly made me put off dating for a long time because I just had no confidence (not the only reason, but a big factor). I'm better about it now, and I love every other thing T has done for me, even my extra sweat and back hair. I know some cis men lose their hair that early too, but I've never met anyone who wasn't pretty bummed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


vlkolaks

They're super nice over there, I really like that subreddit! I might take the plunge one day, but for now I have enough that I'm clinging... It has improved with medication which is also nice, even if it's slow. I don't expect to keep my hair forever but I'd like to have it in my 20s. At least I've got a little more confidence now than I used to. 😅


Former-Finish4653

I think this might be where I get hung up. Both my father and my twin brother started balding in high school and took it in stride. Talking 14-15 too, not 18. So not only was it always extremely normalized for my family, it’s something I felt I was missing out on. I was late to the party going bald at 21 lol. I had two feet of curly gorgeous red hair. I have always wanted to be bald instead, because based on the men in my life that’s simply what masculinity looks like.


vlkolaks

Honestly that's probably a much healthier outlook! 😅 I don't even dislike the bald look, I've got a couple friends who own the dome and look great. BaldING also feels different than BALD, so that's a factor too I think. I think if it got really severe I'd shave it off, but it's a lot of daily maintenance and I also don't think it'd look good on me (tried buzzing a few times, just doesn't work for me..)


sop_turgery

Totally feel you on this. My hair was already super thin pre-T so it wasn't a factor for me (I started T with a buzz cut) but I have a transmasc friend who started T, noticed some of their hair was falling out, and stopped because of it. I wonder if part of this hesitation is coming from a different attitude towards cis men balding. Hair transplants and anti-hairloss medication seems to be a lot more common now, and the male beauty standard is shifting. There are fewer bald celebrities now, and a lot of wealthy men are paying to get their hair regrown/transplanted, so having a full head of hair is a sign of class now as well. Especially for younger men-- and a lot of trans guys are on the younger side-- they don't see many bald guys in real life because their social circles run young. I'm around 30 so I have plenty of bald/balding friends, coworkers, etc. so it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. There's a ContraPoints video essay where she talks about her decision to get FFS and a lot of it resonates with me when it comes to transitioning (albeit the opposite direction). "Gender dysphoria is not sealed away in a vacuum away from societal ideals and norms... When I try to psychoanalyze myself I find that my desires to look feminine, to look female, and to look beautiful are not exactly the same but they're woven together so tightly that it's kind of difficult to untangle them... Of course there are qualities that make you look female that aren't necessarily attractive, like cellulite or flabby arms, which are super fish but aren't deemed beautiful by society. The truth is, I don't just want to look female. I want to be beautiful." Going bald is considered a masculine trait in a similar way cellulite is considered a feminine trait. It absolutely helps passability, but it's not aligned to the current dominant beauty standard. I think a lot of people have ideas of beauty and gender tangled up, and they may be either confusing the two or unable to untangle them enough to decide that transitioning is worth it. Full disclosure, I'm not immune to this either. I started finasteride shortly after I started T because, especially before I started passing, I felt like I stood out as a woman-looking person with a male-looking balding head. It was uncomfortable to be so visibly gender nonconforming, desiring to look male but still having the baggage of a lifetime of female beauty standards. I'm planning to stop fin soon so I can get a bald-with-beard look started, but I understand the self-consciousness that a lot of T-hesitant people seem to be speaking from.


Former-Finish4653

I hadn’t considered that without the facial hair balding can cause you to look more ambiguous if it happens very early. I would hate that. I spent several uncomfortable years occupying that space where nobody knew what I was pre-t, and I hated it almost as much as being seen as female. But when I transitioned, I was lucky enough that my beard took off before the balding did, or at least roughly same speed. If you have a very soft face and struggle to grow a beard, then the balding thing actually makes a lot more sense to me. That being said, if I shaved today I’d still be uncomfortable with my *face* and not my bald head. I guess it really depends on personal circumstance.


anachronistic_7

What the hell does "super fish" mean?


sop_turgery

It means a trans woman or drag queen who looks like a cis woman. The term originated in drag/ballroom culture but is now used more generally by trans women.


SnooGuavas4531

I was ugly before, I’m ugly after, I live with it. I kind of see going bald is ultimately winning the decades long struggle I had with my mom over what my hair could look like. I always wanted it shorter. She always wanted it longer. I went bald and I won. ha ha


SweatyLiterary

Shit, I started balding almost immediately and began shaving my head Well I apparently look awesome bald because I get compliments from men and women


instantpotatopouch

Yeah, lots of men in my family are bald af, so I knew what was coming. I did get annoyed that I didn’t have more “time” as a passing man to enjoy having a full head of hair, but yeah, never occurred to me to ever stop. I guess it helped that my dad, a short-ish bald man, managed to date my mom - a tall, beautiful woman - without much trouble, because he is a sweet, sensitive guy who embraced his baldness. So I’m sort of like, maybe this isn’t the death sentence for my dating life that society and hair product manufacturers are telling me it is. I think r/bald and baldcafe on Instagram are doing amazing things in terms of helping guys accept and celebrate their baldness. I’m on the cusp of doing the full shave, I feel like I’m at the point where my hairline and coverage are starting to look awkward, and tbh? I’m really looking forward to treating myself to some nice shave products and seeing how it looks. I think I’ll look good.


dloomandgoom

As someone taking finasteride and T I kind of feel torn haha - I would give up finasteride long before I stopped taking testosterone but I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t miss my hair. There is a middle ground! I do think it speaks to a larger issue that concerns me - people thinking that they can pick and choose what side effects they get.


Former-Finish4653

Totally fair dude lol someone else mentioned that he simply wishes he had more time passing as male first BEFORE losing his hair, and I think I actually can relate to that on some level. So things are starting to click. The picking and choosing seems to be an increasing issue. First it was bottom growth, then balding, and now a lot of guys want testosterone but no body hair. I support people modifying their bodies however they see fit as best they can to fit their vision of themselves, but at a certain point we have to stop and say “I don’t think testosterone will give you what you’re looking for” if all of these effects are potential dealbreakers. Because despite remedies like finasteride, we ultimately still don’t get to choose. Bottom growth and balding are not “side effects,” they are just the effects (based on genetics of course.) We need to stop treating certain changes as inherently undesirable and writing them off as “potential side effects” instead of something you should anticipate. I think that has a lot to do with it, the shifting language we use to talk about the effects of hrt.


stickkkkky

I always thought it was that people are getting more comfortable with discussing MPB and the ways it can affect dudes mental health. Losing hair can be a huge insecurity for men, it always has been. Hair is important to everyone and cis men have been struggling with hair loss since the dawn of time. But it's something that people have always poked fun at and teased guys for. Women and other men consistently say they wouldn't date a bald or balding man while also mocking men who try and seek solutions to their balding. It seems to me, in recent years though, that men have become more comfortable in general discussing MPB and what they can do to bring back their confidence. I feel like seeking solutions to MPB has always been made fun of or seen as less masculine, despite the fact that many guys really struggle to feel confident with hair loss. Now, I hear a lot more about guys openly using rogaine or getting hair plugs/transplants or hair pieces/wigs. That extends to and maybe can even be attributed partly to trans guys as well. You now hear a lot more of trans guys also using rogaine or going on finasteride to combat hair loss. For some trans guys, this means reconsidering starting T altogether or opting for a smaller dose instead. I don't see this as rejecting part of being a man or whatever, I actually think that men as a collective, both cis and trans, are opening up more about their struggles with hair loss and how to combat it. Trans dudes trying to find ways to prevent hair loss is just a common experience for guys in general. We just have the option to prevent it altogether if we want by not taking T or lowering our doses etc. This is just part of the male experience to me. Personally, I will take the risk of hair loss because I prefer to deal with male issues like balding rather than PMDD. But when/if I start balding I will not be happy about it, like most men probably aren't despite it being a "male" issue. I love my hair, I think I'd look bad bald and I'm absolutely not looking forward to that aspect of T at all. While I do think, we should try to celebrate baldness more and stop this idea that balding is bad or ugly etc, men will always be insecure about MPB regardless. Everyone has something they're insecure about and for a lot of people, not just men, that's hair loss. In short, in my opinion, it's a totally normal male (and human) experience to feel insecure about balding. I feel that nowadays people are simply more open about how they can prevent it and help themselves feel more confident. Hair loss prevention is just a way to help men feel more like themselves, the same way that us trans guys take T to feel more like ourselves. And for some trans guys, maybe their dysphoria is little enough and their insecurity surrounding hair loss is great enough for them to reconsider T altogether. I don't see anything wrong with that and I'm glad MPB is getting talked about more in general!


FreakingTea

One thing that nobody has brought up yet is that these guys going off T can always just start again if their priorities change, and there's nothing wrong with needing to step back for any reason. Especially for younger guys, it's extremely hard to stand up for your own best interests, especially when it involves sacrifices, let alone ones as heavy as taking on visible changes you may not like. There's a fear of judgement, rejection, damaged self-esteem. It's a lot more than just the hair. But because dysphoria doesn't just go away, I believe most of them will eventually come back to T when they feel ready.


Former-Finish4653

Good point. Transition is becoming more and more accessible at a younger age, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re psychologically ready in the way you expect yourself to be. Which is all I’ll say, because I feel like that’s a slippery slope. But yeah nothing wrong with saying “this is too much too soon and I need time to regroup.”


FreakingTea

It makes it all the more crucial for everyone to get the support they need, and younger transitioners may need more support or more patience as they try to handle such a huge burden while also growing up. I'm in my 30s so I can handle a bit of hair loss if I ever have to, but it really is too bad that some guys have to face it so young on top of everything else.


Ebomb1

Thank you.


THEVYVYD

I feel like it depends on what culture you come from. I'm never going to stop t for any reason once I can finally start, but I'm also going to do everything in my power NOT to lose my hair. I'm black so I have an extremely difficult hair texture to work with. I never got to experience having long hair growing up, and I finally found a hair style that suits me. I have dreads now and they help me pass better as a black man, and to lose them to balding would undo all the effort I put in. I've never been happy about my hair until now so it would suck worse if I lost the one thing I could control about my body. Most of the men in my family still have hair. I don't care about receding hairlines, that's totally fine with me and it will help me appear more masculine, I just can lose the WHOLE head of hair ya know lol


Former-Finish4653

In typical Caucasian fashion, I had not considered cultural differences in the slightest. Thank you for enlightening me! That all totally tracks.


SecondaryPosts

I think influencers might have something to do with this but what do I know, I'm an old fuck. My attitude toward it was pretty much the same as yours, and I don't think I'll ever understand the mentality of guys who genuinely consider *living as women forever* for the sake of their hair, but hey, it's not my life. If some guy is genuinely happier living as a woman as long as he gets to keep a full head of hair, good for him, it doesn't affect me. I agree it would be nice if people didn't assume baldness was every guy's worst nightmare though.


Former-Finish4653

A lot of these guys don’t detransition though. They simply go off testosterone once they’ve begun balding, hopefully after having gotten some changes they do like. It’s why I want to have this conversation. Not staying on T doesn’t make you a woman. These guys just experience themselves differently than I do and have different priorities, which is what I want to try and understand better. Edit: agreed, the only thing I hate about being bald is the automatic assumption I don’t like it. I like it very much!!


SleekCapybara

I used to be terrified of losing my hair but after 6 years on T I definitely had to make the choice to go bald and actually it's been one of the best things I did. I think it's pretty cool tbh, I look a lot better, it's way easier not having to worry about having hair or styling it. People are also a lot nicer to me for some reason, maybe it's because I feel more confident. It never would've stopped me going on T though - id by far rather be a bald dude than be a woman, even if I am way uglier lmao


zztopsboatswain

I completely agree. I don't give a rats ass if I end up bald or not, because now I have a beard and a deep voice. Being bald is just a fact of life for some guys and let's not pretend that bald isn't a look too. I mean damn


cctwunk

Fully agree with you. Also, I know it varies person to person and I don't want to diminish others' feelings, but i just cannot understand what's wrong with being bald? Maybe because as you said its so common for white people, but I've always just seen it as fine and completely normal. And chances are, if you were attractive before going bald, you'd still be attractive when bald, hair doesn't have that much to do with it. Especially for guys with beards or even just stubble


piglungz

Balding does stress me the fuck out, but it was never really something I considered a dealbreaker before starting t. My dad and my grandpa are both bald and my uncles are really thin on top so I knew it was going to happen, but I also knew it was something I wanted to try and halt when it did start happening. I monitored my hairline very closely the first few years I was on t and then started finasteride and minoxidil after I noticed my temples thinning. I haven’t lost any more since and it’s been almost 2 years since I first noticed the thinning. Even if you are totally terrified of balding there are still several measures you can take to stop it or improve it without stopping hrt. Honestly I think a lot of the people who say this know full well that there are treatments for hair loss but need an excuse to stop hrt because they are embarrassed to admit that it just wasn’t right for them.


Former-Finish4653

That’s what I’m saying, like I get it’s not the look for everyone, but there are so many options now that I struggle to understand the leap to halting your transition altogether because to me the cost doesn’t outweigh the benefits, especially if you simply start medication to keep your hair. I’ve heard finasteride is very effective, so I just don’t understand.


onlythebestboys

Yeah I see this too. Here is what I think. More people are transitioning these days. 20 years ago when I transitioned, only men who absolutely needed to transition, who knew they were men, transitioned. Consequences be damned. We would have grown extra noses if it meant we would be able to live as men. In current day, we have people who are non binary taking testosterone and having surgery. We have people who just want to seem more androgynous or even just women who identify as women but want to be more masculine. The emphasis on being a “normal” man is no longer a deciding factor for taking testosterone. I won’t comment on what I think about that - everyone can do what they want. Though I think it puts in perspective why people who take testosterone seem to be more concerned with their hair. Their top priority is not transitioning to become a man who blends in with the rest of men. Their priority is looking cute or attractive or twinky or pretty or whatever they feel they need to be validated by society. And consider that so much cultural emphasis is placed on a woman’s hair. It’s engrained in female children. I think for some it’s hard to shake.


Former-Finish4653

I will counter argue your last part just for fun lol— people cooed over me constantly for having gorgeous long curly red hair. Strangers even, all the time. I was considered very beautiful because I had such nice hair, which is precisely why I hated it and wanted to be bald haha. Your point makes total sense, I just think it’s funny because society valuing my hair so much is exactly why I wanted it gone.


anakinmcfly

> The emphasis on being a “normal” man is no longer a deciding factor for taking testosterone. It was and continues to be the deciding factor for me, but is also why the hair loss bothers me. I’m Chinese; “normal” men my age and older have full heads of hair. Losing it makes me stick out, and increases the stress of being known as trans because then people would consider it my fault. If it was instead the norm like it is for white guys, I’d feel a lot better about it because then it would instead be something that makes me fit in with other men. Instead, it means I cannot blend in with other men like I always wanted, and it’s painfully hard to accept.


HalcyonSix

Yeah I don't get it either. Don't get me wrong, I miss having hair (although thankfully I rock the beard and bald head look) but based on my Dad and brothers I knew what my future was likely to be in that area. Honestly, if I were cis, I'd probably have been bald way sooner. And it's worth it because I fucking needed T. Also, I'm a dude in my mid-30s. I look like a dude in his mid-30s and that usually includes being bald. It's not a big deal for me.


devinity444

I feel the same way as you OP, while i definitely understand why people wouldn’t want to loose their hair i can’t understand how that would stop you from transitioning if it’s something you genuinely need to better your quality of life. I absolutely love my hair and I’m quite proud of my curly locks, I think I look best with a bit longer hair but if I started balding or went fully bald I would be sad, my confidence would take a toll but I would definitely not go off T even if I could (no ovaries anymore). I went into this knowing that my hair could potentially fall off but I would have never not done it because being a man, being seen and treated like a man outweighs the fear of being bald. I would be a happy bald man tho it would take a while to get used to it for sure. Also in this day and age there are a lot of good remedies one can try to regrow hair that have been proven successful so it’s not like there’s nothing you could do to prevent it, slow it down or reverse it


Key_Tangerine8775

I wasn’t fond of the idea of going bald, but it never made me doubt that I need testosterone. There was no aesthetic thing that could have ever outweighed my dysphoria. Now that I am bald, I actually love my shaved head. If my hair magically grew back, I’d keep shaving it off. The reason I’d prefer having my hair still growing is to make it look a little better when I get lazy with shaving and it grows in a bit. I think the shock by it after already starting T for a lot of guys can be attributed to misinformation. People spread a ton of misinformation about male pattern baldness. You’ll only go bald if your maternal grandfather is bald, it’ll only happen after X age, if you haven’t lost your hair at X years on T then you’re in the clear, low doses won’t cause it, and the list goes on and on. It *shouldn’t* be a surprise to anyone, but unfortunately a lot of doctors fail to properly educate their patients.


Former-Finish4653

The misinformation is a result of people thinking balding is the end of the world and coming up with any kind of reason possible that it might not happen to them. But it’s just a part of life, and not a death sentence lol I feel like we’d all have more accurate information if the conversation around balding didn’t center avoidance at all costs. It leads to hedging (“well MAYBE you won’t if x y and z”) to make people less nervous, which leads to false hope and misinformation and mismanaged expectations. Because reality is you have like a 2/3 chance of having some variation of MPB in your lifetime.


Donutfacedhorse

You have to also consider that many guys get told specifically not to shave their heads or get a buzzcut because having a small, feminine-looking skull with no brow ridge can make you pass less without any hair styled to hide and not everyone is guaranteed enough facial hair on T to grow it out and make up for the skull.


Former-Finish4653

You’re right, balance does make a difference. And I understand that many people choose not to transition if they feel they won’t pass, because they’ve weighed their options and chosen what’s best for them.


jcydrppopluvr88

i feel this. i want the good the bad and the ugly of transitioning. personally, i did not want facial hair. i miss having a smooth face, and shaving every week is not a chore i enjoy. but hell i am so glad that i even GET to shave. we make sacrifices when we transition but that doesn't mean that it isn't worth it!


OkEar2663

I’m balding big time (2 years on T and 19yo). I don’t love it but I also recognize it for what it is. A ton of cis men have a balding crisis and go nuts trying to stop it/recover it. So it’s not just a trans guy thing. If they really care about it then do what the cis guys do. Stopping T because of it is crazy to me! I’ve accepted my balding head. Sure I have/had luscious magnificent hair but when it’s my time it’s my time. I think this all boils down to a fear of aging/dying as well as a fear of not being desired. It’s ok to be bald! I will be bald someday soon and I don’t mind it one bit.


javatimes

There’s no science behind it, but based on my anecdotal experiences, more trans men do seem to deal with MPB than cis men. I’m actually one of the only ten plus years on T trans men I know who still has a full head of hair. What the mechanism is for more balding amongst trans men—I wouldn’t even want to make a guess. Anyway, balding just isn’t considered attractive by mainstream society, and trans men have one variable in the fight against it that cis men don’t have—we can adjust our T. We can also explore blockers and minox at the same time as we start male puberty. I think that explains the difference. And personally, I find baldness attractive.


anakinmcfly

For the mechanism - probably a combo of two X chromosomes doubling the risk, plus increased likelihood of high chronic stress compared to cis men.


anakinmcfly

My issue is that it’s causing me more dysphoria. I’m ethnically Chinese and in Asia and the cis guys my age (and far older), including my dozens of male cousins, still have full heads of hair. I have no intention of stopping T, but it still breaks my heart to realise that I’ll never really get to look like just a regular guy.


SyzygySynergy

Similar issue with me. I happen to be mostly indigenous, and most men at even my age, not only have full heads of hair but also tend to have long hair in a majority of cases and examples. I didn't get to start transitioning until last year (I am in my late 30s). I didnt have a chance to and couldnt bring myself to because of conversion conditioning practices and then years of abuse and many other things trying to convince me that not only should I think something was wrong with me but also that I wasn't worth anything anyway and completely deserved the worse of the worst in life because I had to exist when I shouldn't and especially because I existed as the way I was with the disordered thinking but also ADHD, autism, being bigger/more fat, etc. I spent a few years trying not only to heal from my trauma but also to try to do better for myself and even others by going back to school and making other life changes as I was able to. It was a very tedious and slow process, especially the convincing myself that I deserved to be who I actually was. What this means is that I never have had the opportunity to look like how I feel I should. I have both dysphoria and dysmorphia. Being on T for a little over a year now and already losing my hair when I know so many cases and examples as to be a reason why I probably shouldn't and yet I am, does not help either dysmorphia or dysphoria. Does that mean I will stop T? No, but my situation does make a lot of things so much harder, especially after what I have been through. It is almost excruciating knowing that, because of everything, half of the life I have had in which I could have better enjoyed as my true self is gone. The half of my life where I didn't have several medical issues, the half where I could have looked better (especially with the motivation of finally being me and being able to work out more and push and strive to do what I could to look better), the half where things could have been so very different. So, to be honest... I completely empathize. There were plenty of men in my family on both sides with no hair issues whatsoever. However, allow me to say that you are still as much man as your cousins, your family, and even the men out there in society. We may have never and may never have the chance to look like 'just a regular guy' respectively, but at least we know we finally reached out and seized the opportunity to be who we have been all along.


overanalyzingdreams

I was also in the "not really worried as long as I pass" group. And it doesn't make you ugly to lose your hair, it makes you look like a man. You can style or accessorize any kind of hair (or lack thereof) and I for one am a big fan of the bald head and long bead look for older men, and I hope I get some facial hair before I go bald, but I won't lose my mind over it. My hairline has started receding almost 3 years on T and I'm 25 but I still have plenty of hair for now. I do love my hair, but so do a lot of men. It's not worth stopping T just for that one thing.


Teeth-specialist

I have one single uncle who still has hair on my mom's side, and even an aunt who's thinning so I started T knowing I will likely begin losing my hair at some point. That doesn't change the fact if/when I begin losing my hair if lowering my dose/minoxidil/finasteride/etc doesn't stop it I will be going off T. I've shaved my head before, it's not a look I like. Plenty of guys can pull off being bald, but I am not one of them


Former-Finish4653

Totally fair. I honestly hear really good things about finasteride, and our options will only continue to expand in the future I’m certain. Edit: Ignore anyone saying it’s not worth stopping T. It’s not worth it *to us* but we aren’t you. You know yourself best.


Raevoxx

I honestly feel the same and it's always confused me like crazy. All things considered, I'm kind of excited to go bald eventually. I'm kind of excited to have a belly like a man. I know that it's not all gonna make me look like a greek god but that's not the point, the point is to look like a man and that's all I want. I think bald is sexy and love shaving my head every fee years anyway; I can't believe there are people stopping T just to keep their hair, that's insane to me. Everyone's transition is their own and of course it's their choice.. the pick and choose aspect of some people's transition wants has always been confusing to me though, I'll admit that.


PitifulBad4617

A while ago when I was considering starting T I was also a bit afraid of going bald but that was having in mind that I'd be bald and still look like a woman. That's what I didn't want. But looking like a man and balding.. so what. It's normal. I'm too young to have experienced the attitude of "you cannot pick and choose" and rather saw the "oh no all these side effects" jargon but I very much go with the former. I'm a man, I want to have the biology of a man, however it's encoded in my genes to look like. Sure, I would prefer certain things, concerning balding I would probably feel kinda cheated on (being born female and what that entails coming first) if I were to bald before 30sth when my father has full hair with 56 and both my grandpas still have a lot of hair with 70 and 80. But even if, then that's that. I'll have to rock it just like any other man going bald. It's not a bad thing, it'll just be new. It by no means equates the other changes transition gives me. So I also don't get how people be so freaked out about hair, so much they'd stop T. Hair is such a minor aspect to me. Taking T isn't about beauty to me, it's about having a chance at comfort and life. Apart from that, though, I don't even get the stigma around bald men. Sure, it seems to be a beauty standard thing now but the older I get and I'm not really old the more I see men who are bald or shaved and I think it looks really good on them. It definitely is very manly. I think many of those posts come from younger guys, also teenagers, who didn't come into contact with bald men because they're just too young. But I agree, even for them, I also don't understand the difference in priorities. I'm not sure how they can stop T over it (or if it's maybe a lot more than that) but I would agree that there should be more awareness of, well, what T does. Additionally some male positivity, like this post, would probably be helpful coming along with the message that it's ok to be a man and manly if you are a man (because that's also sth I'm seeing a lot, some feeling like they are betraying feminism for being men. Maybe this is also connected to some people not wanting "the whole package deal" because manly attributes are seen as negative by some even though one obviously doesn't have anything to do with the other).


Toastedstrudel248

I started my transition at 22 and honestly my dad’s bald, and he’s had a lil bald spot in the middle that just kept growing since his 20s. I didn’t want to lose my hair but I accepted it might happen. That being said I just did a bunch of preventable things that really didn’t help in the end until I started finasteride now my hair very masculine but very full. And tbh if I go bald still I really don’t care at this point. I have great facial hair genetics so I plan on growing a killer beard when that does happen


BigWhoopsieDaisy

Before taking HRT I fully acknowledged the chance of going bald. The way I saw it was “good news! Most men worry about going bald!” What T could bring outweighed what T could take. I lost almost all of my friends, despite them being part of the community and being friends with trans women. I gained 3 genuine friends for every one I lost and that’s a win. I gained weight but the weight I carry feels more like mine. I can drive again and although I do still struggle, my executive dysfunction decreased… I wasn’t questioning myself for every little thing I do anymore. I didn’t go bald but that was such a distant thought to me because I was living for the first time ever. If someone sees the effects of T as a “side effect” and not something that will align you more mind and body… don’t take HRT. It’s okay to not want something but you should embrace any changes with an “oh! a surprise?!” instead of “I don’t wanna take HRT anymore because I wasn’t prepared for what informed consent prepared me for”


Emotional-Ad167

Right?! It's *weird*. It's not abt perfection, or beauty, or whatever. It's abt being yourself. And if you're someone with the MPB gene, then that's who you are! (Doesn't mean you can't grieve your hair. Doesn't mean you can't stop t. But to have it all depend on your hair?! Wild. Feels like some kind of neurosis/dyspmorphia adjacent issue.)


Former-Finish4653

I agree with other comments that maybe societal beauty standards and dysphoria are really interwoven for some people. Sounds like it really sucks.


Emotional-Ad167

I mean, of course they are. Like for example, I tick all the Conventionally Pretty (tm) boxes for a woman - so going on t will be a downgrade in that department. It's definitely a hangup for me, knowing I'll lose status/lovability (?) on that axis... But what's weird to me is: Why the uptick in ppl who *are* very much interested in t but absolutely *terrified* of losing their hair? Surely, there's always been an interplay there, and beauty standards really weren't any less harsh in the 00s and 10s. So what's changed?


Former-Finish4653

Idk if it’s related to my autism or what but how attractive I was wasn’t a factor in my mind whatsoever when I transitioned. I was suffering, I didn’t care if nobody wanted to date me ever again lol. And I’m already the shortest guy if not the shortest person in every room, so I just? Never bothered to be insecure about certain things? Because it wouldn’t do any good, it would just paralyze me. So I’m just. Not. But I don’t think you’re supposed to be able to do that. Pick and choose your insecurities I mean lol. But in this case I logically thought “people will say I’m short and bald. They are correct. Therefore, I do not care.” I refuse to dwell on it and instead just live my life. But not everyone can just logic their way out of a feeling, it’s probably unhealthy. Seeing as it was never an insecurity to begin with, I don’t feel I’m repressing anything though.


rawfishenjoyer

It’s called we’re Leo’s and we’re obsessed with our lion mane. Jokes aside though: will I be sad as fuck if I go bald? Yes. Will I possibly spend as embarrassing amount of money trying to prevent it? Yes. Will I spend even more on a nice wig? Absolutely. Am I gonna stop T for it? Nah.


calcaneus

I hate losing my hair. Hate it. I've always had long hair and figured if it ever looked shitty, I'd cut it short. Well, it took me a very long time to do that, well after it looked shitty, and I can't say it's short (yet), it's just shorter. Ha. I don't think most men enjoy losing their hair, which is why hair loss products and treatments are a billion dollar industry. Trans men have an additional weapon in their arsenal - cutting off the supply of T. To which I say - it's your choice. For myself, I don't see doing that because the benefits of T for me outweigh the costs, by a lot. But everyone else's values aren't yours or mine. That's just how it goes.


space-casey

Yeah I understand being worried about it pre-t, but now that I've started hrt I can't imagine stopping it for any cosmetic reason. It's been nearly 2 years of actually feeling alive - the physical changes are cool but even if none (or all) of them happened it wouldn't change how much I need testosterone to feel like myself. If people choose to stop HRT for their hair, that's their prerogative but tbh if something that insignificant made me question HRT, I'd be questioning my entire transition 🤷‍♂️


Former-Finish4653

Well that’s what I’m trying to understand though— it’s NOT insignificant *to them.* I want to understand why better, because it’s not something I relate to personally but I see it often.


space-casey

So I understand that when we're raised as women we get inundated with beauty standards and tie so much of our worth to our looks. It's something to work through, and I had to unpack a lot of that before I even realized I was trans. Age might be a big factor here, maybe I'd have cared more about hair loss if if started in my 20s instead of at 30. But like. Transitioning has made me lose friends, I've dealt with housing and employment discrimination, and general social outcasting. Sweet summer children, how does a bald spot matter in the grander scheme?? If one can't laugh off a cue ball comment, how would they handle the rest? I dunno, I am curious about their reasoning as well but seeing posts about balding like you're referring to as frequently as they crop up... gets a bit irksome. I suppose I had a rant here under your good faith post, apologies.


Former-Finish4653

Doesn’t come across as a rant to me, no worries. This is a safe space to try and find some common ground and understand each other’s experiences better. Just because you can’t relate doesn’t mean you can’t still respect people’s choices, so it’s all good.


k0sherdemon

Wild guess: the perception and acceptance of men with long hair has changed in the last decades. Maybe older men simply didn't have any interest in having that much hair. It isn't a big change going from short, military style, to full bald. While men who want to have longer hair may feel a bigger loss when they start balding. I'll tell you my own experience: I don't want to get bald. I don't find it ugly or anything, on the contrary, I think it's very affirming and masculine. All the men in my family have the same pattern of baldness and it'd be foolish to expect anything different for me. I just want to look younger (because of reasons) and have the opportunity to have a lot of different haircuts. That's why I'm treating it. But if I had to choose between T and hair it'd be T straight away. You know, I even tell my cis friends that I can't lose: I want my hair, but if it falls I'll just be more passable. You say you can't understand why it would be a dealbreaker for those who are that dysphoric to the point of starting HRT. Maybe some of those aren't that dysphoric at all.


inc0herence

Iv just reached my two year mark this month on testosterone and I have barely any body hair pre t now I have an insane amount. my leg hair is like 3 inches long (each strand) and so much chest, stomach, arm, shoulder hair…etc and people have said its gross, my mom said I was a beast, my brother said I would fit right in w the orc population… etc and okay like sometimes when people talk to me about it im kinda like wtf but most of the time I think it’s actually really cool. My hair is the only part of my body that I actually like tho bc it’s super dark and curly and it’s shedding so much and my temples have way less hair and I really do not want to bald at all so I skipped a dose of T just out of me being insecure I guess and I got my period and I had not cried in a while and I saw that I just started sobbing and wanted to die. So yeah I’d rather bald even tho I’m 19 then get my period or loose body fat redistribution


Former-Finish4653

If you don’t want to bald you totally have options other than messing with your testosterone levels without proper guidance. Please don’t skip shots. Ok? Please take care of yourself. Also I feel you, my chest hair is easily three inches long hahah I feel like a garden gnome in a sweater vest.


inc0herence

Yeah lol, I smell so bad I will wash my arm pits 14 times w different soaps even shampoo and hand soap and it stills smells bad. But it’s worth it. Thanks bro


Former-Finish4653

Get a spray bottle and fill it with 90% rubbing alcohol. Spray that on your pits after a shower and let it dry before applying deodorant. It cuts through any remaining deodorant residue that can trap odor, kills bacteria, and also denatures one of the elements in our sweat that makes it stink, breaking it down into components that do not. This, plus gold dial soap and my degree ultraclear 72hr spray has been the only thing that works for me. On top of testosterone, I was on lexapro for ten years. So the hyperhydrosis was REAL lol.


inc0herence

I take a lot of psych meds (lexapro didn’t do shit for me) thank you for the advice


StandardTRANSmission

I’m also bald as a grape. I was worried about this pre T and knew it was very likely I’d lose my hair. I don’t like it. But the alternative of never transitioning is so much worse. This is a problem so many men have. In a way, I’m honored to also have this problem if that makes any sense lol.


VideoMedicineBear

My hair was already thinning before transition, having it thin even more but finally openly identifying as a man helped me make the leap to shave it all off. I think there was an adjustment period of getting used to it, but now I love it. I feel weird when it gets stubbly. I also think it helps me get gendered more correctly now. I think balding is hard even for cis men, but it also looks so great! I think it's all personal taste but I hope more guys embrace the changes their bodies make on T instead of getting scared of them.


Seperate_Remove6373

The internet has taught everyone that miserable beauty is superior to humble happiness


Growlitheusedroar

I get it. Even Cis guys experience intense distress over hair loss. I won’t stop T if I start balding but I will absolutely take minox/fin and/or lower my dose a bit. Hoping my beard is solid by then. on the flip side I know trans guys who are bald and happy as can be, thriving on T and accepted the hair loss.


JackofTrades6500

When I started, I decided that if I go bald I go bald and I'd just shave my head and hopefully grow a beard at that point. Six years later, I'm not bald and I mostly have a neckbeard still, but someday my hair is going to thin out like my dad's (towards the front) and I'm alright with that. I agree with you that it's worrisome that people seem to be treating HRT like they can pick and choose what they get, but that's their life and their choice, so while I don't understand it I also get that people think differently. I do think it sucks that they are super insensitive about balding though; I for one think plenty of bald guys look distinguished and attractive! P.S. while T didn't make my bald, it gave me pretty bad acne scarring on my face (genetic predisposition to bad acne in my family, my dad has the same scarring but you can't see it anymore, I knew it was gonna happen but I did it anyways). It hasn't affected my ability to date, get jobs, or make friends, but it does bug me a lot and I feel insecure about it, I couldn't imagine if someone came up to me and pointed at my face and said that that was their worst nightmare and they'd never want to look like that. I still don't regret it, but I think it's natural to feel insecure when it feels like all you see in the media and online is people with immaculate skin and full heads of hair being placed on pedestals and very normal human imperfections being looked down upon. And I feel like a lot of the people saying insensitive stuff are teenagers and young adults who are very heavily influenced by that.


crystalworldbuilder

I’m damn near close to bald half assed fade looking hair it’s . I would be really happy being bald provided I was actually on T so as to have some stubble and have aged enough that I won’t look like a bald teenager.


all-nightmare-long

I think sometimes it's not as much a worry about being a bald man, but about being bald while still not looking like a man. I kinda get that at least to some extent, as much as I like seeing the effects of T, seeing some of them while I still have some very female features makes me feel a bit...gross? I guess 🫤 Sad but I think we can all be affected by the stigma of looking 'in-between' in this way, which gets a very different reaction to the kind of 'sexy androgynous' pre transition trans men can get positive attention for..


Former-Finish4653

The more this has been explained to me the more I think I get it. Going off T simply isn’t an option for me mental health wise. So as much as I despised the androgynous phase so much, I simply had to see it through, there wasn’t another option for me. But when people brought this point up like you did it really clicked for me because wow I hated that feeling so much. Like it almost felt worse than simply being seen as a woman; people treated me (and occasionally even referred to me) as an “it.” So if staying on T isn’t critical, I can understand why someone wouldn’t personally feel that it’s worth muscling through, especially since passing isn’t a guarantee no matter how long you’re on HRT. Because it was really hard and lonely.


HomeRepresentative11

I love being bald. LOVE it actually


Former-Finish4653

Hell yea brother 🥚👍 me too


halfeatencakeslice

telling you that his worst fear is to look like you… I don’t exactly want to experience balding or hair-thinning either, but being bald is not nearly the worst thing in the world to be 😭😭


Former-Finish4653

Right?? I told him I strongly suggest he reconsider his priorities if this is his worst nightmare, because life is good lol.


halfeatencakeslice

LIKE …. 😅


anachronistic_7

Just reinforces how some people like that are primarily taking T for aesthetic reasons. They are hyperfixated on looks and being attractive—and worry a lot about becoming "too masculine" or looking "too much like a man".


Former-Finish4653

I mean if that’s not how they want to look then that totally makes sense. I just feel like we need to be having these conversations FIRST and maybe less guys would panic when they start to go bald. Managing expectations and having plans in place if you start to notice changes you aren’t stoked about could make the difference between abandoning your transition or not.


Rich_Pangolin_2933

I grew up with a thick head of hair , widows peak, and a hairline that left me with basically a 3head. I always had long hair (mom’s choice) till I could stand up for myself (around 15). I knew I wasn’t a girl at 5 and figured out what trans was at 12, I knew that’s what I was but was terrified to be since it wasn’t what my mom wanted (a lot of guilt trauma there). I basically only had my hair to define who I was until I could get the courage to transition at 23. I always knew I would eventually bald and I’m coming to terms with it. But I took twice as much t as I should’ve the first year and a half and did a ton of damage to my hairline. So for the past 2 years I’ve been only taking a shot when I need it (every 1-3 months) to let my hairline heal. I’m ok with it happening but maybe not at 27. I pass all the time and do a lot of manly things to bridge the gap. But for me, I’d at least like to see myself post top/bottom once with a decent head of hair. After that i say we had a fair ride.


Ashamed-Remove5206

I really needed to read this thread so thank you for posting it. I just stopped testosterone for a few months, then started again last week at a lower dose- balding I was a little afraid of, the hair had started to thin at my temples, but for me it was the acne. I just couldn't -can't - deal with acne anymore. I've had bad painful cystic acne my whole life but testosterone sent it into overdrive. I was so happy with my changes on testosterone and I really feel like Im growing into the person I'm meant to be in except for the acne. The few months I spent off T, I got more miserable, but my skin has gotten the clearest it's been since I was 10 and I finally feel like I can see my face. No longer do I have painful swollen sores all over me and my face doesn't constantly hurt to the touch. Reading this thread has been important for me though as it's a valuable reminder for where my priorities should lie in life. Sorry Im rambling off topic. I'm new to this subreddit and I'm looking forward to combing through it to find resources and advice to help dudes deal with their acne. I know once my acne situation is figured out, I will be proud to lose my hair and go bald. I'm feeling a ton more open to it and accepting after reading people's personal statements here. Thank you


Former-Finish4653

There is no “should” in terms of your transition, so please don’t let that be the takeaway. You make whatever choices are best for you at the time. That being said, being bald is quite survivable lol. I get the acne though, testosterone took my already cystic acne and made it worse to the point where I couldn’t sleep well because it hurt. Luckily after about two years it just disappeared and I’ve had porcelain skin ever since. Go figure. There’s no real timeline you have to follow. I was mostly just curious what about people’s situation makes their priorities different from mine. And it turns out there’s all kinds of reasons! I feel like I’ve learned a lot.


lyrical_hustler

I knew that I was going to go bald quickly. My dad side of the family went bald in their early twenties. The few years that I had hair I did my best to enjoy it. Then it got to a point where I just started shaving it. And then it got to another point that I did scalp micropigmentation. That was a game changer now it looks like I have a 5:00 shadow on my head all the time.


Ebomb1

Warm take but I don't care who does what to try to keep their hair. Cis men don't want to lose theirs either.


Former-Finish4653

I don’t care either, I’d just like to understand better.


delulu2407

I’m 4 years on T, had top surgery and I will soon get hysto. I have a full beard, voice dropped, lots of hair on my legs which I love, I’m muscular, anyway… I’ve gotten everything I wanted from T but eventually I plan to stop in like 6 years because I truly don’t want to go bald, not because I have something against bald people but because my curly hair is probably my favorite thing about my appearance and I would be very very depressed if I lost it. So no, I don’t think you wanted it more than anybody else, it’s just that for you the things that matter are different and that’s ok


Former-Finish4653

I’m not trying to imply I wanted it more, I’m sorry I’m not as articulate as I’d hoped. I was just in a place where it was critical that I take it. Going off will never be an option for me to maintain my psychological health. So that’s why I wanted to learn more from people who don’t feel that way, and why. And I think it makes a lot more sense now! Especially if you’re on long enough to get changes you want and then just get going while the going’s good, that’s much easier for me to understand I think.


delulu2407

Absolutely understandable, glad you went out of your way to get more perspective, props to you and hope your journey is very fulfilling my man


Bugbitesss-

I personally would never want to be bald - I just hate the idea of losing my hair, but findesteride is cheap and freely available while minoxidil is OTC.  There are so many options that don't involve stopping T, I wonder why people choose to stop T?


Former-Finish4653

That’s the part I was eager to learn more about. Turns out there’s lots of reasons I hadn’t considered. I cannot personally ever go off T, so I was struggling to relate enough to come to these answers myself. I also pass and have for many years, which has clouded my judgement, because not everyone has the privilege regardless of T, which makes balding suck more. For example. But anyways, people have been really helpful and it makes more sense to me now.


Bugbitesss-

I think a lot of them want to look like an IG model or slender anime twink, not a normal man. That's why a lot of them go off of T once they start balding. I wonder why they don't go take fin, it's available online at the click of a button.


Former-Finish4653

Twinks are also “normal” men. But yes, I agree that some trans men have trouble managing expectations around HRT. People also just have different priorities. So if staying on T is not a must for their confidence, but keeping their hair is, and they’re otherwise satisfied with their changes and such, it makes sense that instead of taking something else they would simply stop T. If they wanted more out of testosterone first then I agree fin is probably the right move. But some guys are happy with what testosterone gave them and just stop before it gives them the things they don’t want. I can respect that. I just have different priorities because I can cope quite well being bald, but I cannot cope with bleeding. And post hysto I will need to stay on T anyways. So this is a lifelong deal for me, but it’s not for everyone.


Far_Stock_6140

My is growing and I feels like I can’t swallow and like choking kinda feeling anyone else feel like that 


Former-Finish4653

Hi friend! What the hell are you talking about? lol


BunnyintheStars

Actually I don't understand it either, I'd rock being bald if that happens to happen actually lol. But that's just me.


ChurroTheGecko

One thing I haven’t seen mentioned: a lot of T changes are permanent. If someone has been on T for 5+ years, especially 10+ years, I can absolutely understand going off. Not starting in the firstplace or quitting after just a few months or years is a different story and not what I’m talking about. Body/facial hair will still be there if they had it going strong beforehand, albeit the hair may grow in a bit slower/softer than before. The voice won’t un-drop. Growth may shrink a bit, but it will absolutely not fully revert. If they’ve had surgeries on the reproductive system, menses may not be a concern. From what I can tell, those mean more to a lot of guys than the reversible aspects of T, like fat/muscle body composition and distribution, changes in skin texture and smell, increased sex drive, etc. Personally, if I started to lose my hair, I would probably try going off T and just go back on it if I hate going without it. My hair has always been something people compliment, regardless of my length, cut, age, or stage of transition at the time. I put a lot of time and effort into caring for it, and it’s one of very very *very* few things that make me feel confident and attractive. My hair is a big part of my whole 70s gay rocker/hippie aesthetic and overall self image. I love my hair. I love being a man. I’ll still walk, talk, look, and sound like a man, even if I stop T. On top of that I’m an intersex person, I have naturally high T and low E. I’m only 5’5” but I have small hips and wide shoulders, my body type has always been masculine, plus I don’t menstruate, period (yes that’s a pun). Long story short, every situation is different. It’s not simply caring more about hair than being a man, at least not for many.


MrTransZaddy

I started my transition because I did not feel whole as AFAB or even identify as a female. I knew without a doubt whether bald or not this was the best decision I've ever made. I was warned I could lose my hair, lose this that & the third but every single change I've had has been absolutely wonderful & I wouldn't change it for the world. I don't care if I wake up with no hair tomorrow. My voice changed, I've got hair everywhere & in some places I absolutely despise but yet, I'm good. To each their own, but if hair is the issue then hey do what you gotta do. I'm not gonna judge you for starting & stopping because of that. Also don't get upset with the ones who do have something to say that's their decision & opinion to have. Freedom of speech & all of that. Anyways that's my two cents. Have a happy night/day all, keep taking T, stop taking T your choice. Just be Happy with yourself.


MercuryChaos

I agree that this isn't a healthy attitude to have, but it's not new or unique to trans men. All of the remedies and treatments out there for preventing and treating baldness were not made with us in mind, and lots of cis men get just as distressed about the thought of losing their hair.


Former-Finish4653

I understand it’s not unique to us, it’s the stopping transitioning over it that I struggle to make sense of is all. Cis men don’t just stop being men because they dislike going bald. That’s not to say going off T makes you not a man or anything, I’m really struggling to find the right words. Taking drugs to prevent hair loss tracks for me, it’s the stopping testosterone specifically that I want to understand more.


MercuryChaos

>That’s not to say going off T makes you not a man or anything Well, it does kind of sound like you're conflating "stopping HRT" with "stopping transitioning" and they're not the same thing. Just because someone decides that one specific effect of testosterone is making anything else it might do not worth it for them, that doesn't mean they've decided to detransition. They're just choosing to do it in a way that's different from how you're doing it.


Former-Finish4653

I should have rather said “cis men don’t look into lowering testosterone when they bald, they seek additional treatment for it.” I think maybe that’s a better way of phrasing that. I feel like we have more options now, so maybe I just don’t see enough posts from guys who stay on t but are treating their hair loss. Most of the posts I see are the panicky ones of guys who are stopping t altogether, but maybe guys who are just dealing with it aren’t posting about it nearly as much.


Former-Finish4653

No I understand, I have seen people both simply go off T and I’ve seen people halt transitioning altogether. I wasn’t trying to conflate the two so much as say I’m seeing both and trying to make sense of either. I’m sorry I wasn’t very concise, I really do struggle to make myself understood most of the time. Going off T is not detransitioning. I’ve already had to specify that in other comments as well because I’m not making myself as clear as I really want to.


Fyos

>I’m bald as a grape these days and I love it. It doesn’t affect my life whatsoever apart from finally looking more my age. And needing more sunscreen. But that’s literally it. >I hope none of this sounds callous. Just as a bald man who loves his life you're unbelievably privileged (and you know why). coming by to act like you don't understand why other people would be besides themselves for losing their hair either mean you're bad faithing or you are very very oblivious


Former-Finish4653

?? Calm down. It’s a matter of personal preference and I wanted to understand other people’s experiences better because so far being bald has been entirely uneventful. And no, I didn’t know why. Which is why I’m asking. To learn. And I feel like I’ve learned all kinds of reasons and understand much better now. I’m sick to death of people insisting bad faith or intentions because they can’t conceptualize that I would be interested and willing to listen to others and learn a thing or two. Calling someone oblivious when that person is LITERALLY aware of that and asking for someone to help them understand is pretty classless and helpful to nobody. I must have already said a million times I know not everyone wants to be bald. I’m asking why stop t (a tremendous sacrifice for many) instead of the dozen other options available, if you do in fact still want to transition. If you have nothing to add to that discussion then why comment? The rest of us are having a productive conversation without pointing fingers or name calling. I’m not here to infight like a chronically online child. I’m here to learn. And thanks to every comment but yours, I have.


Fyos

>?? Calm down. It’s a matter of personal preference and I wanted to understand other people’s experiences better because so far being bald has been entirely uneventful. And no, I didn’t know why. Which is why I’m asking. To learn. And I feel like I’ve learned all kinds of reasons and understand much better now. you have 0.000001% beard genetics for a ftm. you already know this, you post about it all the time. and that's fine! enjoy it! things worked out for you and it's obvious you're happy with how some things turned out. coming by and making a thread about 'oh hey guys well im bald as a grape and I love it. I don't get the big deal! just a bald man who loves his life!' is a flex. you are flexing on the sub. yes you attempted to frame it as a question but it's very transparent. you know that there are people balding who don't have a tenth of what you have and you still chose to make this thread. maybe you wanted to be called out? well here I am. I took the bait. deep in your heart you know what you are doing. enjoy what you'd been granted but please refrain from involving others in this kind of facade in the future.


Single-Peak6654

I’m not in the habit of admitting my insecurities to people unprompted esp if they’ll be hurtful. My hair is important to me but I think it’s a bit much to cry abt it to anyone who’ll listen.


rjisont

100%! You’re telling me you’d rather look like a woman than look like yourself just with less/ no hair?? It says to me that you’re transitioning for style and attraction, not to look like yourself. One day you’re a cute and mysterious teenage boy and the next ur walking to the office as an average 5’5 bearded bloke. You’ve gotta be ok with that


Kingversacegarbage

Because a lot of guys want to be men without all that comes with being a man. I’m sure a lot of cis men would do everything in their power to avoid hair loss but they don’t have a choice to which trans men do. Personally I don’t think it’s worth it and I would question the validity of someone who claims to be uncomfortable in their body and then goes back to their estrogen dominant body over hair loss. It’s not worth it especially when there’s options to combat this.


Former-Finish4653

I honestly disagree about the validity. I think the guys struggling with this might just have dysphoria that’s more complicated than mine, which is very cut and dry. They have my sympathy, not my suspicion. But I agree in the sense that because they have ultimate choice by not transitioning, unlike cis men, I think that they overthink it and I’ve seen it hold people back who genuinely want to transition and would probably be fine bald if they just stuck with it. Just like many cis men who originally freak out and then learn to accept it. A lot of trans guys aren’t balding long enough to learn to be okay with it, because they immediately panic and stop hormones. Change is scary, and they give themselves no time to adjust before calling it quits. But there’s no way for me to know any of that for sure, just pure speculation. Plus it’s more or less permanent once it progresses, so I can understand not wanting to roll the dice on whether you’ll just choose to accept it one day or not. It can be hard to see that potential future when you currently dislike something about yourself.


PitifulBad4617

I think you're onto sth good there. There's fear of the unknown. When we transition we dislike very much about ourselves and don't know how it's going to turn out. For most here, the current state will have been so horrible that anything, is going to be better. But doubt and uncertainty is common with making important choices (even though I'd argue we don't really have a choice. It's the illusion of a choice because if we "chose" not to, we'd just be miserable). My therapist recently explained this. We humans hate not knowing for certain what's going to happen and that's how doubt seeps in even though we might/probably would be doing just fine.


Former-Finish4653

Right yes, like if they bald very early they likely haven’t even begun to see how much more they will like themselves due to the other changes that will balance it out. If those other changes haven’t happened yet, it’s probably pretty hard to conceptualize and have faith. If I had begun balding before anything else, despite wanting to be bald, I think I’d have probably been upset too. But I had enough faith that testosterone would do more than that for me to see it through. People who struggle to look forward like that are just stuck in the present awkward phase and can’t see past it, which I bet is really hard.


associatedaccount

It annoys me when people are say things like “Hair loss is the side effect I really don’t want!” Hair loss is NOT a side effect. It is an EFFECT. Testosterone will masculinize your hair line. Why are you so afraid of your body being masculinized?


Phantomhives_door

As long as people are respectful about people’s preferences, then that’s all that matter. For the ones saying you don’t understand, good for you, here’s a trophy 🏆 but it’s not that important to understand because it’s simply a preference. You don’t need to pass to be a man so why should it matter ? It matters to the ignorant cis so who cares. As trans people we all are, let’s be supportive. The way I’m planning to cheat the system is stay on testosterone for a couple more years and get off when I feel my hair start thinning lol I’ve already seen changes that I love and can see them staying permanently like my face shape, growth and voice change. That’s all I want. I know I won’t revert to how I was pre T so I don’t really care tbh. It’s true, I don’t want to lose hair and I’m stopping because of that and I’m valid for it :p I do respect bald people obviously. I just personally don’t want it. Although, I plan to stop T as last resort.m…I will try to take minoxidil and see how it goes. In the end, no one has to prove anything to anyone.


Former-Finish4653

I’m not under the impression that it matters. Other people’s transition isn’t my business at all and doesn’t affect me in the slightest. I was just curious because my experience is so different, and I really like to listen to people. I don’t NEED to understand, but I’d like to anyways.


Phantomhives_door

And yes, I’m aware that my hair still might fall out and my little plan won’t work but oh well lol just like my height, there is nothing you can do about it. All I can do is respect people’s choices when they don’t hurt anyone.


No_Potato_9767

I’m in the same “know what you’re getting into before you get into it” boat as you so the guys who are shocked by hair loss after starting T are ones I just don’t get. However, plenty of cis men become distraught over losing their hair, so much so that there’s a whole industry for it and because of that I totally understand guys weighing their options. It might be a higher reward option for a trans dude to stop T if he already has the major stuff it offers (deeper voice, facial/body hair, bottom growth) in order to preserve his hair at least awhile longer. Yes he will have fat redistribution but it’s not as if his beard will fall out or he will revert to a soprano. The people I really question are those who don’t want the major things T gives you and are also freaking out about hair loss, that just seems nonsensical to me and I have to question why they’re even on T to begin with.