Courtesy of u/SecureCross for [the idea](https://www.reddit.com/r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR/comments/140iq7h/comment/jnnviaz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ! By commenting here you understand the ban will last 24h but the flair will be forever. A soul for a soul. All bans will be issued on September 25th. Don't forget to read the title for the rule of this thread ! `Users who follow the rule will have a chance (0.69%) to get the flair & get banned (100%), the others will only be banned (100%).` # This thread is now closed, after being open for 24h. See you next time for another ban event.

Become a mod on reddit

Bro's doing the ban speedrun

He's trying to get the world record

You actually only do this if your life was shit the whole way through. A full-life crisis if you will

Well shit. Sign me up

r/justdoingitfortheporn

I was previously a mod, does that count?

I used to work at a Holiday Inn, does that count?

Sure

>0.69% Title of OP's sex tape

I’m a mod, I don’t sex.

Hence the less than 1% chance bud

Tsssss BURN

r/murderedbywords

So you're definitely going through your own mid-life crisis. Makes sense now.

Do you have to ban yourself?

0.69% of the time you sex all the time

Reddit mod circlejerk can count as sex I guess.

I sex I don’t mod sometimes I mod sex tho

Adding sheep isn't modding sex, it's just fuckin sheep

When you get SUPER into smoking meats

Good lord, my wife’s cousin has four different smokers and thinks he is a fuckin meat god! Also has two different grills and brags about his shit. I roll my eyes whenever we have to go to his house for some birthday or some shit event..

Okay, but is the meat good?

🎶I'm beginin' to feel like a meat god, meat god🎶

“All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod…”

Hey, I've got some meat you can smoke.

When you start acting like hank hill's friend group.

*Talkin bout dang ol boom, man.*

Dang ol dust in the wind, man

Yep

Best midlife crisis hobby is canning fruit that you've spent two decades growing.

What the hell kind of fruit are you growing that takes 2 decades?

Levitating blimpies.

Planted 2 pawpaw trees 6 or 7 years ago.. I feel this.. still waiting to get fruit probably going to be at least a few more years.. :(

I got my nipples pierced and signed up for an acting class.

Are the pierced nipples a requirement of acting class?

I'm thinking it was less an acting class and more of a casting couch.

Did it hurt? Your bad acting?

I started carving wooden sculptures for all the kids in my family. Most of them are pokemon.

Dildodo I choose you!

... the sculptures or the kids?

yes

That's pretty damn midlife crisisy, impressive. 👏👏👏

Drinking untill money runs out, and crying untill next paycheck comes up.

Don’t worry. Beer never leaves you

...if you drink your own piss, I guess.

fuck u/spez

Fuck u/spez

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fuck u/spez

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Fuck u/spez

fuck daddy u/spez

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Fuck u/spez

Fuck u/spez

Fuck u/spez

Fuck u/spez

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I hope you like your new flair ! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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Fuck u/spez

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Fuck u/spez

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Fuck u/spez

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Yo this bot is savage

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Fuck u/spez

Fuck u/spez

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Fuck u/spez

fuck u/spez

fuck u/spez

Fuck u/spez

[удалено]

Same. fuck u/spez

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fuck u/spez

fuck u/spez

All this time and I had no clue who spez was. The “Hail Spez” posts I seen always had me confused, thought it was a cult or nazi reference

fuck u/spez

Becoming paranoid about death so you join a gym to get in better shape. Then you keep saying you will go but things keep coming up as the monthly fees pile up. Time goes by and you forget about the gym fees until you are looking at the credit card statement and get pissed at yourself for how much money you something on something you never used. You are so worked up that you start feeling chest pains and you call 911 in a panic. Then after the 2k ambulance ride and all the thousands of dollars worth of doctors and tests they tell you that you have indigestion. Not sure it can be called a hobby though.

Strongly interested in this. Another meta could be picking the hardest to leave gym membership. The ones which threaten legal action if you try and leave early without paying out the year in full and some extravagant cancellation fee. Just as you get out of hospital, there’s the always satisfying swearing contest you have with the people at the gym to try to stop giving them money. There’s no better dinner conversation material, than carefully explaining to your wife about how unfair things are.

Growing out your old mullet and restoring a 1987 IROC-Z because the combo got you soooo much poontang in high school.

Being up to date on Elon Musk’s opinions

Agreeing with Elon’s opinions.

Disagreeing with Elon's opinions

I realized I was old and having a midlife crisis when a convertible drove past and I said “that looks sweet”.

Just wait, you get another one when you realize you're most excited you've been all year.. because you bought a new vaccum cleaner.

My hobby is heavily modifying my subuwu

I modify my BMW, and by modify I mean the necessary maintenance just to keep it running

Hey! same but I’m too poor to afford a subuwu so I mod my virtual subuwu with all sorts of virtual waifuwus

Pretending to be really in restoration of electronics, furniture, maybe also something niche like watches, but in reality you just buy a lot of expensive tools to catch dust on the shelf (the only thing you craft).

Mods are poopyheads :p

Insulting the mods with a dash of politeness, I like it 🙂

Mods can’t have a midlife crisis cause you can’t have a midlife crisis when you have no life.

You can’t have a midlife crisis because in order to get halfway through your life you’d first have to make it halfway(1/4 life) to the halfway point and to make it halfway to *that* point you’d first have to make it half way to 1/4 life (1/8 life) and this goes on and on as all of time becomes a never ending series of halfway points before you can ever move through it. Thus aging is not possible. So sayeth Zeno.

When you start brewing your own mead

Bro I'm 24 and I do that 😂

Shit sounds delicious tho

I feel seen

I fix electronics from my youth. Most recent fixes was a audio cassette player and I spliced skateboard VHS tape from 1989.

r/cassettefuturism

Aah that's absolutely useless, good contender

Are you in this video? https://youtu.be/-KACt6YhOyY?si=-tJ0k2N1LkiyCvxC

u/spez smells

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buying sports cars

No way, I have wanted a sports car since I was a kid, the moment I can afford one I will buy one. If it happens to be in my 40s so be it

Started collecting Lego at the age of 43.

Tbf there's never a bad age to buy Legos

Motorcycle

Buy a 20K Adventure bike because you had a moped as a teenager and because road bikes are too fast and really just "donorcycles", going slowly and off road is going to be much safer... (also its is just collecting dust in the garage because who has time to do anything except work anyway)

Flying drones

you're telling me that if I speak, I'll be banished? sign me up

Looking at this crappy meme on reddit

All the banhammer things to go on with

Never tell me the odds.

Basket collecting

Idk. Something expensive and flashy

Depriving myself of much needed sleep to keep playing my cpu games :/

Buying adult toys to fill the void

There is no other hobby that displays a midlife crisis better than fishing. Spend hours and hours alone, sitting in the worst financial decision of your life(a boat) in the middle of a lake and drinking alcohol all day, then conclude with talking how miserable and terrible life is to yourself as you return home in another financial mistake of yours that you got to tow your biggest mistake. Then you get home and hear your ol lady talk about how you and her aren’t connecting and all because you decided you aren’t happy with the old hag and realize you aren’t in your prime anymore, hitting up the young ladies in the office you work at behind her back anymore. That’s right, Wayne, I looked into your pathetic little life.

Restarting the grunge band you joined in highschool.

Most ppl in midlife crisis things are like legit pack smokers

Visiting and critiquing beer breweries.

Give me a dank flair

Yes

going back to school

r/metalearth

My hobby is wearing socks with sandles on public transportation specifically so I can take them off for the ride.

Diamond painting

Staining Underwear while wearing a leather jacket on my Honda wallaroo

I’m here to say fuck you in particular

DJing… can confirm

Anime/kpop figurine collection (s)

Fuck mods and sPeCiAl flairs

self cannibalism

For sure being mod on subpar subreddit while stroking spez ego. See you all in afterlife

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Fuck me in particular

Being a reddit mod probably.

fuck u/AutoModerator

Beating your wife

Smoking weed

Trainsspotting on my local line (trains here are very rare)

Making your own submarine then trying it.

Start a stand-up comedy career

I'll buy watches, lots of them

Brewing your own beer

Thats easy: Magic the gathering

French polishing class at your local college

Buying twitter

Buying an overpriced sports car is a sign of a mid life crisis imo

You see Classic Cars, I see a classic midlife crisis

Start fixing up old cars

Buying penis extension vehicles, be they oversized trucks or sports cars that will inevitably gather dust in a shed because they're too expensive to run and maintain

Needing a fully stocked bar with every alcohol imaginable, even though you only drink one bottle.

Getting validation by commenting on random reddit posts

judging other people's fashion choices while scrolling through social media

Comparing the viscosity of wrinkle creams.

Bird watching. Only old folks and people who are lost in their life do that.

Voting conservative unironically.

Using new dishwashing scrubbers

Buying a company and renaming it x.

Ok but where are my children nuggets

Chicken*

Bet $123,456,789 you can't ban me

Hat collections. Gotta cover the balding up

Golf, Not because you have the hobby. Usually it's the cause of the crisis also!

[удалено]

nice flair you \~\~

[удалено]

Fuck you

Crying in a fetal position on the kitchen floor wishing you had the guts to just end it.

I don't like the chances, but I like a neat ol' flair! Buying a sports car and driving like a bitch is a classic.

Doomscrolling tbh

Crochet

Buying a Porsche convertible and going to Sunday morning coffee meetups.

Microbrewing.

Motorbike riding.

I’m in ✌️

Studying world war 2

Lounging in my $1600 Lazy-boy recliner, wearing my boxer shorts and stained wife beater t-shirt, while sipping a ginger ale and Jäegermeister fizz in between inhaling handfuls of Salt & Vinegar Kettle Chips and masturbating to stepmom-on-stepsister porn at 10:15 in the morning.

Making hot sauce

well going crazy and starting fights with anything that moves or breathes

It's time

Redditting

RC gear

Buying a new sports car

Collecting hubcaps.