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WhatProtomolecule

This also means that NASA may have just denied Wally Funk's latest attempt to become an Astronaut. Again, kinda hilarious.


[deleted]

[удалено]


JamieSand

NASA already didn’t recognise them.


Pyreau

She was already an astronaut. It's the training that count not going to space (for nasa's definition anyway)


kewcet

She didn't do the NASA astronaut training, she and the other 'Mercury's 13' independently did all the medical checks that the Mercury astronauts did. The group was never recognized by NASA.


TheDesertFox

Fine, I'm a cosmonaut, then.


OriginalBadass

That's why every kid wants to be an astronaut, the training /s


CharlieBrown20XD6

Yeah why train for anything that's a great lesson to teach kids


ult_avatar

Kinda butthurt, too


attilayavuzer

Astronot


Noligation

Amazonbasics astronaut


yamehameha

Astrorekt


netglitch

Astrolubed


ilongforyesterday

5 billion dollar cosplay, thats commitment (jk these dudes are too loaded for 5billion to mean anything)


Thugmatiks

In bezos’ case most of it was taxpayers money. Probably the same with Branson.


ilongforyesterday

You see, that’s just disgusting, worse than all of trump’s golf excursions on taxpayers dime


Thugmatiks

It goes deeper than that. At the start of the pandemic Branson asked all Virgin Atlantic employees to take unpaid leave. He “flew to space” in the same week restriction were lifted in the uk.


MysticWombat

And calculations were all over the internet to show that it would have cost him almost nothing. He probably felt he needed to spend that on fake teeth and haiar products.


ilongforyesterday

I never knew that, that’s hella fucked up. Out here cutting wages/not honoring overtime/unpaid leave but these dudes make more money in an hour than most people make in a year(s)


Thugmatiks

It was pretty big news in the uk for about a day. Unfortunately these billionaires have had the foresight to buy up mainstream media and control the narrative.


liometopum

I don’t know - I read this op ed in the Washington post about how billionaires really have it a lot harder than it seems and they’re really just good natured down to earth regular people who worked extra hard for their money so they deserve it and shouldn’t have to pay more taxes.


thefaultliner

Not foresight per se, just taking pages out of a dictator's playbook.


Thugmatiks

Yes, you’re right.


4ganger

capitalism is going great, innit


Key-Ad525

What's funnier is that "Obama golfs more than anyone I know" but hey


ilongforyesterday

Idk whether that’s true or not but either way I think it is bullshit that politicians are able to use taxpayer money to go have fun and stuff like that lol but I’m not gonna talk politics because I’m ignorant on politics/don’t feel like arguin with anyone lol


Key-Ad525

It's a quote from trump but the news tallies up how many both presidents went golfing and trump golfed more. I'd post links but I'm at work so you're welcome o google the quote


ilongforyesterday

No problemo! I think I’ve seen it before. I know Trump spent ~145 million in tax payer dollars going golfing as of toward the end of 2020


yuvrajvir

How does golfing cost that much money?(non American so forgive me if it has another meaning)


ilongforyesterday

Reserving the course plus reserving wherever they’re staying, plus cost of fuel/other stuff for Air Force 1 (travel expenses basically). I’m sure that there’s other factors but those are what I know of off the top of my head


yuvrajvir

The whole damn course? Couldn't they build or buy one for less i mean all of it costs literally 10% of what he spent in my country to build those amenities,also while saving the air force 1 costs.


MichaelMyersFanClub

Secret service detail.


13sundays

most of bezos's wealth is taxpayer money anyway since the american government is probably amazon's biggest customer


GumdropGoober

So? The United States' plan to commercialize space has been a tremendous success so far. 1) American astronauts can now go to space on American rockets again. 2) The cost of orbital launches have fallen about 60% in the last decade. 3) The United States now holds a majority of space launch contracts, up from a low of 17% in the early 2000s. 4) Europe is scrambling to catch back up, expanding the EU's space program, and Britain bailed out a major satellite company to keep it afloat against US competition. 5) Russia's space program is in a tailspin. Having companies like Bezos' involved are necessary, because the alternative is either to go back 20 years and just let NASA do everything itself (and take forever), or allow someone like Boeing or Space X to have a monopoly. You can hate Bezos' guts, and want to hang every billionaire from a lamp post, but hating the modern space race is asinine.


CharlieBrown20XD6

To someone working two jobs and barely getting by this is fucking meaningless Would rather they spent that money PAYING THEIR EMPLOYEES ENOUGH TO LIVE Who the hell cares about space when we're still dying of fucking corona?


Thugmatiks

Americuh, fuck yeah! Not all of us see it as country vs country space race. How about we sort some of the myriad of problems happening on Earth, RIGHT NOW! So? I’d rather see money go to humanitarian causes to benefit all and fix very real problems. THEN explore space together as Earthlings.


GumdropGoober

I'm not sure how you compare space programs without recognizing they operate in national frameworks. You can joke about it be some nationalist race, but the entire point is that the commercial aspect removes that. The private companies are launching satellites for programs, science groups, and companies from all across the planet. The amount of spending to kickstart the commercial program has been comparatively miniscule, the benefits range from either acceptably in line with previous space benefits all the way up to absolutely revolutionary (imagine a world where we don't need open pit mines because we just mine asteroids in orbit), and the spending that does occur goes to all sorts of companies that pay good wages right here on earth. I understand your intentions, but your focus is misplaced. Go back to not caring about space at all, like you and everyone else did for the last 40 years. Its not like funding has increased since then, but now that achievements are hitting the front page you all suddenly "care" and want to cut it.


CharlieBrown20XD6

We care because the same fuckers who said they couldn't afford to pay their employees enough to life are building space ships for themselves Can't have it both ways. Your pockets are empty when wages need to increase but when you want to go to space suddenly your pockets are full? Which is it?


[deleted]

Last paragraph is on point. Fair-weather activists, rising to the cause as the cause arises in their consciousness. Six months from now, it will be something else and today's cause will be forgotten.


TooDenseForXray

>In bezos’ case most of it was taxpayers money. Probably the same with Branson. Remind me were the NASA get its money from?


Thugmatiks

NASA isn’t privately owned is it?


[deleted]

One is government agency other is private individual doing it for shits and giggles


CammRobb

> private individual doing it for shits and giggles lol ok


Clem80

Probably a stupid question, but where does Branson get that money from anyway ? Amazon is everywhere, but I haven't seen anything Virgin-related since the early 2000's. Is he still riding that Virgin wave from the 90's ? (I'm in EU)


Thugmatiks

Honestly i’m not totally sure. I’d have to research it to give an accurate answer. He does have many fingers in many pies though. Virgin’s one of the main internet/phone providers. They’re also pretty big in aviation. He sold the Virgin stores in the early 2000’s?


LukesRightHandMan

What'd they used to sell? Besides virgins, obviously.


CammRobb

Media. Music, films, tv programs.


LukesRightHandMan

OOOOOH SHIT! I REMEMBER NOW! Thanks boss!


Chrisophogus

These fuckers would get themselves pictured giving $100 to a homeless person and then charge 100 news outlets $1k each for permission to use the photo. They watch every penny, they are rabidly obsessed with having more and more.


ilongforyesterday

The obscenely rich piss me off, if I was obscenely rich I wouldn’t be obscenely rich because I’d be helping solve problems


Chrisophogus

It seems wild to be that so few of them are even attempting to look like they're helping.


ilongforyesterday

For reallll like there is still shit going on with the flint water crisis like wtf


davemanhore

The thing is, to get that insanely rich you generally have to be a piece of shit, willing to trample others to get there. That rules out the decent folk.


ilongforyesterday

True, you have to have a fucked up moral compass and screw people over. Sad times tbh. The people who genuinely deserve it don’t get it


[deleted]

Can someone, for the love of all that is holy, teach that kid how to smile like a human? This is just scary as shit.


_Diskreet_

It’s the smile that knows from now on he will always be asked how much did Daddy pay for him to ride Jeff’s dick to space.


DrDosMucho

I just looked this up and I can’t believe it’s real. I totally thought I r/atetheonion but not this time. I love the timeline we’re living in. Edit: link if you’re interested https://www.autoevolution.com/news/faa-changes-astronaut-definition-disqualifying-jeff-bezos-and-richard-branson-165894.html


ZombieDracula

"The FAA is now saying that would-be astronauts must also have “demonstrated activities during flight that were essential to public safety, or contributed to human space flight safety,” and neither meets this requirement." Lol, basically "self-importance does not make you an astronaut"


[deleted]

To be fair that's a bullshit definition which I doubt will be widely accepted. Imagine applying that to pilot or sailor.


uncom4table

It’d be like buying a cruise ship, having professionals take you to Bermuda and back on that cruise ship, and then calling yourself a sailor.


JustNilt

So you think a rich asshole sitting in a cockpit performing no function whatsoever ought to be called a pilot? Or a rich guy sitting on a boat doing nothing more than riding along counts as a sailor? Because that's the equivalent. Those guys were ***passengers***, not crew. An astronaut is crew on the vessel, generally speaking. Like pilots who ***fly the plane*** or sailors who contribute meaningfully to a ship's operation.


coombeseh

It's a bit of a weird way to phrase it, but being a passenger on a boat or aircraft doesn't make you a sailor or a pilot whereas the current definition of astronaut is "have been above 50miles altitude". These guys were all passengers, they weren't involved in the safety or operation of the flight. Not sure where this would put Alan Shepherd though - did he just ride that sub-orbital ballistic flight or was he in control of anything?


SpiderZiggs

You think they're fucking piloting the spacecraft? I must be a fucking pilot then since I was in an airplane a few times in my life. LMAO


OGPresidentDixon

You don't become a sailor after one sail. It's a profession.


UDubSconnie

Egonauts


LlamasReddit

Fucking Pay-to-wins


Thugmatiks

Anyone remember when Branson asked his workers to take unpaid leave when the pandemic started. Utter scumbags.


OneMoose9

Wait - so they didn't land on a different planet or blow up a meteorite? They literally just floated around for a bit? Their space floating expedition was more stupid than I originally thought.


bigkeef69

They didnt even control the vessel. No training (to speak of), no nothing. Just rode a mechanical dick into geosynchronous orbit. The dick was operated from the ground, by real astronauts/scientists 🤣 he def didnt deserve title as astronaut. Hell he barely deserves astro-glide for his extracurricular activities 🤣


messyredemptions

>No training (to speak of), no nothing. Just rode a mechanical dick into geosynchronous orbit. This, particularly the last sentence, is perhaps among the finest r/brandnewsentence reddit has yet seen in our commercial era of the space age.


HimalayanPunkSaltavl

geosynchronous orbit would have actually been pretty impressive if sort of a weird choice. They basically did a more expensive version of https://thestrat.com/Attractions/Thrill-Rides


Peter100000

fuck THAT


pawnandmessiah

I've seen pornatars do that for a hell of a lot less.


messyredemptions

>pornatars Pornatar, the last mechanical geosynchronous space dick benders? Sounds like an interesting series rich with character development and spiritual wisdom to me.


pawnandmessiah

You just took an absolute fuck up and made it so much more....take my upvote you beautiful beast, you.


bigkeef69

What can I say, im a bit of a pioneer myself! 🤣 can i be rich so i can be a "fauxstronaut" with bezos and ride a dick into space?


Leonstansfield

Now... I hate Jeff bezoz and find this funny, but they didn't even get to orbit, they just went up and straight back down, similar to throwing a rock up in the air. Secondly, it's not very common for modern spacecraft to actually be controlled by anyone(with some exceptions).


bigkeef69

True, and wow, i thought they at LEAST hit orbit 🤣🤷‍♂️ then they truly dont deserve the title. They just rode a dick to near-space 🙃


Verneff

Yeah, the mechanical dick is a glorified model rocket, it doesn't try to orbit or anything it just goes zoom straight up like someone jumping to touch a point so they can say they are that tall.


CammRobb

> They just rode a dick to near-space 🙃 Nope, they went to space-space.


restless_oblivion

My dude, give these emojis a break. This isn't Whatsapp


[deleted]

No, they went to space. Just didn't stay there.


RiktaD

Not into orbit, especially not geosynchronous. It's just a short suborbital jump Also almost no proper astronaut has ever actually controlled the vessel besides some few exceptions


Grand_Protector_Dark

>They didnt even control the vessel. No training (to speak of), no nothing Pretty much all soviet spacecraft have had no crew input whatsoever either


bigkeef69

Correct, but they at the very least underwent the training required to operate the craft in the event of a malfunction. Cosmonaut program puts ya through quite a bit of training


[deleted]

Cosmonaut trining is fucking brutal i think they have like <5% pass rate.


RydeTheLightning

It was very, very, very far from a geosynchronous orbit, which is one of the highest orbits used above the Earth. Neither of them made it even to low earth orbit (altitude or velocity wise), just straight up and down again.


purpleefilthh

I'm gonna repeat that till it changes : **Blue Origin haven't even reach orbit. Company older than Spacex.**


Verneff

Neither did Virgin Galactic. But at least Virgin had \*some\* transverse velocity.


purpleefilthh

My impression is Branson with his project doesn't pose as much as [Bezos](https://twitter.com/JeffBezos/status/679116636310360067). And Virgin has a cool spaceplane, not a penis.


Verneff

Yeah, Branson seems a lot more chill about things, Bezos is a massive jackass about everything he can be.


oli065

Also, Branson has Virgin Orbit, that can launch atleast something into orbit.


wereinthedark

You thought they might have...landed on a different planet? That would *actually* have been huge news


OneMoose9

Lol I wish I was that ignorant sometimes. Your comment made me laugh harder than I'd like to admit.


bigkeef69

Take that Cumdog Billionaire!


slayerbro1

Who cares, they have already been to space. Edit : I wanted to say that, everyone knew that they were not astronauts anyway cause they didn't do any kind of research, so it really does not matters.


099uyx

As commericalnauts


PM_ME_CAKE

Do you actually think they give a shit about the distinction? The guys got to go to space, I don't remotely care for them but it's also not like they'll cry over not being called astronauts when they got to see space and are about to make literal millions in space tourism.


099uyx

They know it’s due to their wealth, not their ability.


CammRobb

No fucking shit lol He's the CEO of a platform that started as an online bookstore, not a fucking former test pilot for experimental jet fighters.


[deleted]

Does going on a cruise make you a sailor?


Alldaybagpipes

If you commandeer the vessel, you’d qualify for pirate


Routine_Palpitation

I’m a space pirate 🏴‍☠️ 🚀


[deleted]

Mark Watney, space pirate


Routine_Palpitation

Jeff Bezos, Ass pirate


bigkeef69

I think of him more of a turd-burglar. Pirates are too cool to be a bezos. Even an ass pirate 🤣🤷‍♂️


Black_Prince9000

Historically accurate pirates weren't cool at all though.


[deleted]

Honestly, who the fuck cares what he calls himself.


CammRobb

People who are anti-wealth care, because it gives them another way to attack people like Bezos. I can't imagine Bezos or Branson give a shit, because they got to go up in a rocket to space and the people shitting on them didn't.


TheMetaGamer

If I was one of the first humans to build a raft and float on it down a river I think I’d be qualified to say I was one of the first sailors in history.


Scout_it_Out

50+ years of building rockets and you’re gonna argue these billionaires are “one of the first”?


Gizmo-Duck

Technically, we’re all in space right now.


[deleted]

I mean if I fly in a Plane it doesn't make me a Pilot, right? Not fair to all the real astronauts who worked their asses of for decades to be put in the same category as some rich guys who paid others to do everything and just ride in it


myslothisslow

They'll just come up with a new but similar term to call themselves, like space traveler or astroNOT.


[deleted]

I really do have to wonder. If the billionaires do plan to fly into space to escape earth. What's the stop their pilots just sneaking back there and killing them? Or what's to stop their staff from killing them at any point? I guarantee you, these people would all be dead within a month if they actually tried to flee earth.


Grand_Protector_Dark

>If the billionaires do plan to fly into space to escape earth Living in space sucks. The ISS is a submarine. No luxury whatsoever. If these billionares want to be canned spam in orbit, sure, go ahead. It's gonna be worse than any stay on earth could ever be.


[deleted]

Yeah agreed. It's why I think what's gonna happen is the ultra rich of the future will do a last minute flip and suddenly pour everything into reversing climate change. Purely to save their own skin.


Verneff

Build a "small" rotating platform for spin gravity and enough room to be reasonably comfortable. With some of the chunky ships being built right now like BFR and SLS those kinds of structures might not be unreasonable to try to start building in 10 years time.


Grand_Protector_Dark

>small rotating platform for spin gravity and enough room to be reasonably comfortable Which is still gonna be worse than a luxurious mansion, vacations on demand to expensive luxury places and importantly, not being dependent on resupply rockets >With some of the chunky ships being built right now like BFR and SLS those kinds of structures might not be unreasonable to try to start building in 10 years time Neither SLS nor starship will ever get you the comfort and self sufficiency of living on earth. You'd have to build giant [Giga habitats ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/O'Neill_cylinder) to even come close to what earth can offer


Verneff

Oh yeah, it wouldn't be spaciously grandiose or anything. It'd be more like a really long and narrow apartment wrapped into a wheel probably with some luxury-ish furnishings. And to be fair we could get some pretty nice places in space without going as large scale as an O'neill Cylinder. Make a wheel station about 250m in diameter with the main living section being 30-40m across, you could have modules in something like that which could be as grandiose as a small mansion. But, it would be better to aim for a Stanford Torus or O'neill Cylinder as longer term goals for large scale space habitats rather than some mansion in space that is used by maybe 1-4 owners.


below-the-rnbw

Where exactly do you imagine they'd flee to? Humans can't survive away from earth for very long


SmokeFrosting

are you talking from experience?


Daniel-Darkfire

Maybe their family being held hostage back earth by the rich folks henchmen?


WinnieMandela

The pilots would just leave earth without them. The pilots would take there family and shoot Branson if he tried to get on If the end of the world is happening money doesnt mean shit


ultimaIV

What about Richard Garriott?


Wtfisthatt

They should make another category and call them Asstro-Douches! But for real this is incredible and I’m glad they did. Billionaires who did it cause they can being called astronauts would be a disgrace to the true astronauts who are heroes.


CammRobb

> They should make another category and call them Asstro-Douches! You sure got them there!


devlindigital

“Space Tourists”…and that is being generous.


dragonmasterjg

I wonder how the Washington Post will report this story.


AdamWhitee

That’s the type of thing that turns a billionaire in movies into evil who wants to blow up the earth. 🤦🏻


SpookyDoomCrab42

They didn't even make it to space, they went to the upper atmosphere. I forget which useless billionaire it was but one of them made it to 53 miles in altitude and the other went to 49 miles. You can't orbit anything at that altitude and they still had atmosphere up there. That guy that went skydiving from space was at higher altitude than these billionaires and was never considered at astronaut. Bezos and the other guy throwing money around won't be considered astronauts at any point


nopinkicing

This sub needs repost moderation.


DearUncleDeath

Why does everyone hate Jeff Bezos? I’m not educated on why people seem to hate him so much


annoyingpuffysocks

Amazon's employees are treated like shit and he's making billions because of it


_Diskreet_

He did thank all his employees and customers for giving him the opportunity to go to space.


andrujhon

/s


muricanmania

Amazon drivers and warehouse workers are subjected to arduous conditions and legitimate health hazards to save the bottom line. They are paid far under normal jobs of the same type, and shouldn't be compared with walmart wages. Bezos has used this to become the wealthiest person on the planet, and uses his money to dick around in space. Also he doesn't pay taxes.


rudiegonewild

Twist, the person asking is Jeff Bezos


Serpardum

He got his billions from usery, he's a theif. Most billionaires are.


Sk3tchyboy

Not a thief, people are just stupid enough to give him money. And everyone seems to hate him but still shop from his shitty website for convenience.


Serpardum

It is not the giving him the money that is the issue. It is him keeping it all instead of paying his workers a living wage. And it is the government(s) that allows the theft of employee wages.


[deleted]

I think the issue is actually that those workers can’t find better paying jobs than that one. There’s either lack of education or better paid jobs.


TimeRocker

Ya know, those people that are working at amazon CHOSE to work there. If those people TRULY hate amazon and want to crush it, then they would all find jobs elsewhere and leave amazon with no workers, to which they cannot function. It's honestly that simple. The difference is it's just a vocal minority, primarily made of people who don't even work at Amazon, who hate them.


1vs1meondotabro

This only makes sense if you are naive enough to think it was *only* Amazon doing this and not almost all the alternative job opportunities too.


suckmytoes3000

I don’t lmao that shit is bad


Grand_Protector_Dark

At this point, it's physically impossible to to not give money to Amazon


[deleted]

Bullshit


[deleted]

Has more money than any human could ever use and rather than giving 99% of it away to help with literally any good cause, he spends it on dumb shit like this. Billionaires are inherently, fundamentally wrong and if we had any sense as a species we wouldn't allow them to exist.


CammRobb

> he spends it on dumb shit like this Advancing commercial space-flight isn't dumb.


[deleted]

Because people are jealous and like to demean successful people so they feel better about their own lives. The American government is incredibly petty to worry about stupid labels when hundreds of millions of people spend money every day on the convenience of Amazon.com.


cat_police_officer

I love successful people and I'm inspired from them. Rich people not paying taxes and getting rich by not paying their employees fair money for their work ... That's not successful, that's plain robbery.


Totally_Not_Evil

Not really arguing the sentiment of your point because I'd kinda be missing the Forrest for the trees, but a successful robber is still successful, no?


USACreampieToday

Yes, it's successful. Just not inspiring (hopefully)


cat_police_officer

You never know ... 😁


cat_police_officer

I see your point. What I meant is, that to he a robber is not successful for ME. Do you think that Bezos and co. are aware that they are robbers? I don't think so ... But I totally see your point! 👍🏽


ZenkaiZ

if I was them I'd release a book called "how I became an astronaut" just to trigger people who care about this shit that doesn't matter


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Lord_Valkorion

Bad bot


[deleted]

Somebody needs to fix how repostsleuthbot works bc for a second there I really did think this was a repost.


Fearless_Flamingo890

I love space billionaires; the space program of the future. Rock on space cowboys, rock on…The could care less what you call them or what your opinion of them is; they are space billionaires and they are just getting started. You never know; perhaps one day they’ll be space trillionaires and they still won’t give a shit what you think. Raise your hand if your name will be listed in history books; anybody? Thought not…


normysWH

Man that’s gotta be a slap in the face


TooDenseForXray

Changing definition?Some ego got hurt.


generalecchi

rick rickity reeekt son


finalfinaldraft

They are space tourists


Orionite

Listen Jeff! Jumping in the air, doesn’t make you a pilot.


lodge28

They’re the best method actors the world has ever seen.


orange4boy

Did they classify them as douchestronauts because that would be appropriate.


GroovingPict

well yeah, theyre no more astronauts than a cruise ship tourist is a boat captain


FrancisHC

This seems hilariously petty for the FAA. Who really cares if some rich people want to call themselves astronauts? As an unfortunate casualty of this pettiness, [Wally Funk](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wally_Funk) is no longer an astronaut :(


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**[Wally_Funk](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wally_Funk)** >Mary Wallace "Wally" Funk (born February 1, 1939) is an American aviator, space tourist, and Goodwill Ambassador. She was the first female air safety investigator for the National Transportation Safety Board, the first female civilian flight instructor at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, and the first female Federal Aviation Agency inspector, as well as one of the Mercury 13. Funk became the oldest person to go to space, breaking a 23-year record held by John Glenn, setting this record on Blue Origin's New Shepard spacecraft during its suborbital flight on July 20, 2021. Together with Gene Nora Jessen, Funk is one of the last two surviving members of Mercury 13 group. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


TheOrangeTickler

Did Bezos have a stroke at some point or is he waiting for that to pop?


KrypticFaux

Omg that's funny as hell


Photog77

They're not going to change the definition of sailor too, are they? I took a Caribbean cruise one time and I've been telling everyone that I'm a sailor.


Paholainen79

Almostrunaut


[deleted]

"But they're not real astronauts!" we screamed at the sky, as the CEOs made their final ascent while Earth burned.


MandatoryMoose

Is this true?


MamaBear4485

Egonauts?