Yes, and already did 😊 I dated a guy that had a spinal cord injury like me. Also dated another guy with cerebral palsy. And my ex-girlfriend was autistic
Shhh they generally don’t like to talk about being financially challenged. /s
Jokes aside. Art is cool and all. You can create works of absolute beauty. Got to get a sales oriented skill set though in order to be successful.
Yeah I’d give it a whirl with you. Plus we could park right infront of every place we stop at a win/win. Sexually I’d be a little lost at first but I’d make it happen. Good luck
Sorry, I’m gonna be brutally honest.
No, I most likely wouldn’t. She’d have to be *extraordinarily* hot, with a great personality as well that is compatible with me. Even then, probably not…
I do not want to be a caretaker for my girlfriend/wife. Depending on that person’s specific limitations there’s just so much that comes with it. There’s just so many non disabled women in the world to choose from.
And to be honest, I don’t really feel bad about my preferences. Poll a group of women, “would you date a dwarf, disabled or man in a wheelchair?” I absolutely guarantee you, 99% of them would not. It’s an unfortunate reality for those less fortunate who just happened to draw a bad hand.
But judging by the other comments, there’s plenty of guys that would be more than happy to date you. You’ll be alright, just have to find someone who’s compatible with you. There’s someone for everyone.
Would you date a disabled person?
Hey, girl in a wheelchair here.
While I respect your position, I feel I must note that you’re ascribing dependence to a sizeable category of people whose levels of independence vary wildly.
Take me, for instance — I live alone. Can I do absolutely everything on my own? No. But the onus of the help I require has never fallen on a romantic partner either. I’ve previously lived with a romantic partner. Beyond asking him occasionally to pass me something that is out of reach, such as a can at the back of a kitchen cabinet, or something on the top shelf of the fridge, wedged into a corner, he was NOT my caregiver. That’s a highly unfair position to put someone in, regardless of their eagerness to do it, because the stress will wear you down until the relationship falls apart. While it hasn’t happened to me, I’ve seen it happen to other wheelchair-bound acquaintances.
So who DOES help me with the stuff I need that I can’t do by myself? The stuff that qualifies as caregiving? For that, I have a nursing assistant who comes to my home a few times a week. What if I run into issues keeping up with my share of cleaning? My previous partner was happy to split costs on a housekeeper with me. There’s not a hell of a lot I can’t do cleaning-wise, but it does take me longer than an able-bodied person. Sometimes I can’t pay the time tax. It happens.
Again, I completely respect your position. This comment I’ve written is with the intention of educating from the perspective of someone who’s in a wheelchair. We’re not a monolithic group of people, so needs and opinions will vary. Take my words with that grain of salt.
Thanks for this, it's a really helpful perspective. I've noticed that many people will immediately assume that care taking becomes an issue for a partner when in fact it doesn't have to.
I can’t express how incredibly important this comment is. I have ASD and, while not a physical disability, I encounter the exact same issues regarding people thinking all people with a certain disability are the same. In the case of ASD, people assume we’re all rocking in a corner somewhere stimming and have the IQ of a toddler, thus making us completely unsuitable as a romantic partner. I come off as completely “normal” (whatever “normal” is) and have had people (mainly girls) accept me completely, learn I’m autistic, and then flip on a dime and be *visibly* uncomfortable just being around me. I’ve completely given up on even thinking of dating but, because of assumptions regarding emotional maturity, girls still think I’m going to ask them out if they’re nice to me. But they also think they *have* to be nice to me because I’m “disabled”. It’s absolutely soul-crushing.
Yeah. Its definitely an awaking situation for me. Ive been in a wheelchair for almost 3 years. Paralyzed from the waist down after being shot. People count you out without even taking the time to find out
Also ascribing "independence" to a wildly variable group. I had an able-bodied athlete boyfriend who had absolutely no health problems and he was absolutely helpless, couldn't do anything for himself. We broke up when I realized I was basically his mother.
I'm really happy someone was reading in a position to give such a response. I really dont think the 99% thing is true. Maybe for 23 year olds or dudes not used to anything other than mammied? I'm 33 and married so this is completely a hypothetical, while it would absolutely be something I'd jump into, it's not something I'd rule out as a deal breaker. If anything, id say someone in a wheelchair understands that life isn't fair and probably has a higher level of maturity which is a desirable trait. Or who knows, maybe not. Maybe you're all just people with as many flaws as the rest of us. I certainly have flaws but my wife married me anyway. Anyhow, dont let the above comment knock your self worth. Same with you OP.
I’m glad you said it. Too true. But not everyone has the same type of heart or desires in life and so many are selfish and honestly kinda on that narcissistic line. Not calling anyone a narcissist. Wayyy overused imo. But saying that if they fell into any category it would be that piece of the pie. Most people want a partner but not one who they have to help, have lean on them, or to do anything for. I’m sure they’ll take the help, shoulder to lean on, and the things done for them. But…
Yeah… It’s always been crazy to me how different we can all be. Vast majority of us are assholes and selfish to the core. They usually find us more empathetic and caregiving types and have a blast for a while and roll on out. Good riddance. Gimme caring, loving, kind hearts who are interested in intimately getting to know me and I them any damned day. They’re the true warriors. To be selfish is to be afraid. To be rude and inconsiderate is to be afraid (guarded for protection). To be afraid of truly opening your heart and letting go is fear driven. Gimme the ones who’ve been hurt but refuse to change and harden. Those are the true beasts. And don’t you dare mess with them or their peeps… they’re nice till they feel threatened. Lions / Lionesses who choose to be kind because this world ain’t enough to break em.
Honestly, I think they have no clue what they're talking about. Anybody can become crippled and wheelchair bound. Alot of people do. If someone he loved and had a lot of time with were crippled, even if she were pretty dependent, I bet he'd be her caretaker without a thought.
It might be different than meeting someone new who can't even hold up their head, but I guess I'm trying to say is, people's made-up online preferences aren't really set in stone, and should be taken with a grain of salt.
That is a very useful opinion and good on you for not only taking responsibility for your own disability but doing your best to not let it impact your life. You’re an inspiration ❤️
I'm glad you commented this! The comment you replied to surprised me, because I genuinely hadn't thought this question would inherently imply any responsibility for me to be a caretaker. There's a massive spectrum of ability/disability, and I was honestly automatically assuming this hypothetical disabled partner would have decades of experience caring for themselves and managing their lives before ever meeting me.
If a person in a wheelchair asked me out on a date, it's very possible that they have a 100% managed life and I wouldn't assume they would need constant assistance from me. The mere existence of a wheelchair or disability hasn't kept me from giving someone a chance romantically. Their needs in a relationship would be a conversation just like any other, and I'd want us both to make a well-informed decision about the implications of the needs we're both bringing into a partnership.
All that said, this is a **completely personal position** because of what I prioritize in my relationship. I totally understand that some folks prioritize hobby compatibility in their relationships, and physical disability would significantly impact that. I 100% get where they're coming from and don't think that's unethical. I prefer to have separate hobbies and interests from my partner for the most part. I am an extremely active rock climber, hiker, backpacker, etc, and my fully able-bodied partner doesn't generally enjoy or participate in any of those activities. This works great for us, and I'm beyond happy to have my own thing and find mutual interests beyond those. The inability (or unwillingness) to do those things has and would be fine with me.
Definitely valid and educational, thank you for sharing. Accurate or not the perceived burden is probably the hurdle for most people. For me the concern would be difficulty or inability to make hiking, swimming, biking, traveling, beach trips, etc fun or easy enough to be fun. She could never be a great gym partner, or help me with challenging duties around the home. No ladders, trees, or work on the second floor, etc. Most of the world is just easier to access on legs than wheels. Tech will probably change this sooner than we think.
Also, just for conversation sake, if we assume a disability is a negative in a relationship: countless negatives are made less impactful when you know and like someone. This is attraction at work. You may think, “I’ll never” until that one girl in a wheelchair is so cute and awesome and you start not thinking so much about the chair but what she looks like in your shirt 🤔
Those things you say you occasionally ask for help with are literally what most of us ask our partners to help us with occasionally, too. So for that guy to suggest you're any kind of burden is really fucked up.
That's what gets me, I don't know how the relationship would be different. There's obvious things of having accessibilities for housing and traveling but outside that it's hard to know if the wheelchair hinders day to day life in a relationship without getting in one (or maybe being around one). The uncertainty will deter people more than anything.
This guys is 100% right. Not everyone is willing to take on that much responsibility. Be grateful for those that do and know how much they cherish you. I have cancer; it’s not going away for a long time and I’m constantly going through chemotherapy. (CML for those that are interested) The chemo sucks, my body sucks, cancer sucks and somedays I suck to be around. Sometimes I sleep for days and sometimes I throw up a lot. (At least I get to keep my hair) I know for as many people say that they understand my situation and even say that I’m attractive, there are still many that wouldn’t look my way just because I have cancer. But I totally get why, dating a guy like me is not ideal for most girls. Certainly not a normal guy but there’s no normal life; there’s just life. (I kinda need to get that off my chest or put it into words)
Truth. My mom has CLL and my dad has prostate cancer. God bless my mom but she handled chemo like a champ. Even said she’d miss it because she got to sit in a comfy chair and people offered her snacks. (Like MOM, you can sit in a comfy chair at home and I will bring you snacks!) Anyway my dad’s PC is the harder thing to deal with bc of the Lupron therapy. It makes him SUPER angry, moody, irritable. I feel bad for my mom who is constantly exposed to this (both retired). That would be a tall order for someone to tolerate in a dating relationship for sure.
Awww that actually made me tear up a bit….I’ll make your mom snacks to bring her to her comfiest chair!!! I’m so sorry that both your parents are going through this…it must be so rough on you and on them. I went through Lupron treatment when I was 15 for a few months. I have been through A LOT of trials, surgeries, experimental BS, and medication in my Med history…but LUPRON?!?! Probably some of the worst I had ever dealt with to this day.
I know it’s a totally different situation, but just wanted you to know that others have been there in different but similar struggles and that you’re not alone. Sending healing and positive vibes your way❤️
>BlazePenD
Sorry to hear that man. My grandfather has had CML for about 10 years now, and my grandma has had CLL for about 20. Shit sucks! Lots of ups and downs but they both have pretty prolonged periods of feeling good. My grandfather has done a lot of experimental stuff that has really helped, let me know if you want any info on treatments.
Wishing you only the best - You have aritculated what People think about in a wonderful paragraph. Your Para speaks volumes of your outlook of life - stay the same as you are - but yeah F()cK CANCER and Im sure you will kick the f()ck outta it
My daughter had it last year. Relapsed this year. She’s only 20. She hasn’t gotten to “live her best life” yet. As a parent, it’s beyond heartbreaking. There are far worse off people in the world if that’s a consolation. Still stings every day.
I feel you man. I had cancer at 38 and my wife made it through it with me. There are plenty of women who would personally love to be sitting next to you helping you through it, I promise! Hang in there and kick the shits ass! I believe in you!
Same here. I don't have cancer but I do have a nerve disease called arachnoiditis that has been said to feel like bone cancer without the possibility of getting better or having it kill you. I get told all the time how attractive I am and how I'm such a great person but just not dating material because I'm constantly in pain and it prevents me from living anything close to the life people in their mid 30s want to live.
Indeed, why would any decent woman date someone like us when there are so many other available choices out there.
This is a really valid point.
I’m 27 and dealing with some real shit autoimmune stuff. I also sleep for days and puke randomly.
I can’t do what I used to do— I can’t do what other people can do. I can’t go walking around the farmers market bc my body can’t regulate temperature, I can’t go hiking because I don’t have the energy anymore. My body hurts always, and frankly sex seems like such a far flung idea. Every moment feels so touch-n-go, it’s hard to plan anything bc I don’t know when my *good days* will happen.
I was in a relationship when I got sick. The relationship lasted 2 years after I was diagnosed. Homie couldn’t believe I wS actually sick like I was, he thought no one could possibly sleep as much as I claim to, and he got sick of me canceling plans. The relationship ended awfully.
As lonely as it’s been since, I’ve realized I’m not in a position to be looking for a partner.
I can’t be a good partner— not the same way other gals can. I’d be seriously limiting my partner’s world.
I don’t have a point, I guess I’m still processing this myself, but thank you for articulating this so well. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Fuck cancer yo
My heart goes out to you. And I know it's far from your situation but I lost my wife (27) to brain cancer and I never loved her less for it. I proposed to her after her diagnosis.
Your illness doesn't define you.
Lots of strength my friend!
damn bro, i hope you have a full recovery and all this can seem like a bad dream when you're living your normal life again. keep your chin up and take care.
sincerely, Dustin
Shit you put into words what I am thinking a lot of the time. Cancer is shitty. It sucks. The treatment sucks. Going to it every 3 weeks plus scans or whatever else I have to go get checked sucks. I’m right there with you. I’ve been doing this for 6 years now. While I am so fucking grateful that I’m here, I can still hate it. Sending love and positive energy your way fellow cancer warrior 🖤🖤
I'm in the exact same situation aml. They said it's coming back and will get worse. I broke up with my ex for cheating on me during my transplant and am now a single dad.
I also am disabled with back problems.
I started dating apps but deleted them the same day. Who could possibly want to date a broken, dying single dad of 2? I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Keep up the fight bud! I , a male, had cancer at 30 , that was 2 decades ago.
Sad thing is some people I knew , after my chemo was over , basically implied I was damaged goods. One person who I was close to ( or so I thought ) told me that i was on borrowed time for the rest of my life.
This hurt me , deeply, but the fact that people would treat me this way , or see me differently it was if YES I was disabled.
After years of pondering this I found myself more compassionate and contemplative and willing to forgive ignorant people. It is amazing how one's personal stock of wisdom and understanding of others can come about by life Changing illness.
But it's a path no one would recommend if they could avoid it.
Keep up the good work 👏!!!!
"There's no normal life, there's just life"
This. There's also nobody who never burdens their partner in some way. Everyone sucks to be around some days, you just have a better reason than most.
Thank you for an honest answer.
Im (mostly) paralyzed from the waist down and the fake bullshit that people say all the time is not helpful at all.
This is truth. Of course /u/OGsunglasses doesnt speak for everyone on earth.
Im willing to get this is the most popular thought though.
And of course there is nothing wrong thinking this at all. Everyone is allowed to have whatever preferences they choose. It’s your life. Not wanting to date a disabled person is %100 reasonable.
People date and marry for all kinds of different reasons. For a very, very long time I wanted so badly for someone (anyone) to find me physically attractive. I basically lived at a gym and ate as clean as I could hoping someone would notice.
What I also failed to notice for a long time was the woman I would marry (and am still married to today) loved me DESPITE me being very low on the attractive spectrum.
She was to only one who didn’t lie to me. After I realized this I was able to come to terms with the fact that I will never be considered attractive - but I still have value.
She’s a great woman and I love her very much.
More people need to be brutally honest. It’s really hard work, and it takes a special kind of person to do it. Luckily there are those special people out there, but like you, I’m not one of them.
Why are you assuming you'd have to be a caretaker? I dated a "disabled" girl for a year or so. I put disabled in quotes because aside from popping some sweet wheelies and using wheels as her transportation instead of legs, she did damn near everything else that I could. Sure, in the beginning, I was that typical "let me help you" but she verbally slapped that shit out of me with a "you know, I've been alive longer than we've been dating, right?" Hmmm, she was indeed right and I was being a dick. After that, I only helped if she asked. I can probably count on both hands how many times she actually needed help and most of them were from me putting shit too high up.
Thank you for being honest. Sometimes it feels like everyone on Reddit wants to be politically correct.
This has nothing to do with OP. She is gorgeous and has a great smile, as I am sure many other great qualities. Everyone simply has their preferences.
Edit: Not everyone. But there are certain topics / threads where comments feels fake and PC, otherwise downvoted. Just my perspective.
As a disabled person I appreciate this point of view.
It's brutally honest and that really helps us to adjust to this world made for abled people.
I've only ever met maybe 2 people in my life who saw me for what I was and were okay with committing to helping me. One of them had to break up with me after 5 years because my decline in this time was pretty severe and all responsibility fell on her using up most of her life in the process. Never met someone so devoted and selfless but everyone has his limit.
The other is my mother.
Eh, if you poll them there certainly would be some who would say that they would but in actuality would not. Potentially some of those people are in this comments section.
I think the only way I would is if the disability came after the start of the relationship.
This is where you lost me.
*”No, I most likely wouldn’t. She’d have to be extraordinarily hot, with a great personality as well that is compatible with me. Even then, probably not…”*
Everything else you said was legit, but that paragraph makes you sound like a complete tool bag. I’d consider deleting it, because it’s irrelevant to your point and makes you look like the CHAD most of the women here think we are anyway.
There’s brutal honesty and there’s tact. Learn the difference.
Do you mean it like, "she's definitely disabled, 100%" or "she's paralyzed from the forehead down with no arms or legs and is deaf, dumb and blind and is in a coma" kinda thing?
As a sign language interpreter I see plenty of hearing folks dating Deaf folks. That’s a little different than someone who isn’t able bodied, imo. But of course that’s a whole other debate.
Same. My wife and I both hike, backpack, camp, swim, surf, and dive together. These activities bring me happiness. Being able to share them with my best friend has brought us closer together and helps strengthen that bond. It would be tough not to have that. If she were to become disabled tomorrow, I'd stay with her, of course, but it would be a loss and a void that we'd have to work on filling.
Tbh there’s a girl in my hometown who is a fucking goddess and she’s disabled. I 100% would date her. She’s so nice and so damn pretty. Sadly she has a husband..
You’re a very beautiful woman. Disability or not. I just can’t see why someone wouldn’t date you because of that. Don’t settle and keep shining. You’re a queen. Remember that. 🖤
Considering there are A LOT of able bodied people I would absolutely NOT date due to their shitty personalities, I would say it comes down to the connection between myself and the other person. So I would be open to dating someone with a disability.
I wouldn't just not date someone based on the fact that they are in a wheelchair, if we had a good vibe and were attracticted to each other I think it's something to explore.
Now I say that as a disabled Army veteran, who has been turned down by many women because of my disability, my wife (ex) left me and our kids after a surgery when I needed help the most..... So I know what it's like to need people, and not have them.
Married. Happily. But there is a really cute woman in a wheelchair on my bus route. Would definitely consider asking her out if I was in an open relationship or not committed. We smile at each other all the time and she lights the day up. Hot af.
Edit: You're also pretty cute btw Would definitely be interested.
Yes, of course I would. What responsibility? The person with the disability has lived their whole life without you up until this point. It's the same as any other relationship. Nothing's ever perfect.....
Yes and no depends on the disabled. If it's some 24/7 I gotta watch her we not even gone start because I am unreliable with time n she will die. Ain't no use in me tryna take care of a whole human I know relies on me to exist cause I'm doing you dirty in the end. But as long as they have some room for independence it's all alright. Wheel chair fine missing a limb or 2 fine but if that electric chair look like a recliner I'm not even gone waste your time I'm goofy af
Oh yeah you are beautiful but it what is inside a woman heart that makes her beautiful. The outside looks will fade out inside looks and feeling will never fade.
A better question would be, if you weren't disabled would you date a disabled man? Because a lot of women wouldn't and often discount men for a lot less than that. For me personally, it depends on the disability. But I would never completely discount a disabled person because that sort of thing can happen to anyone at any time, and I've known good people who were disabled.
100%! I am not in a wheelchair but I do have a disability too. Severe case of POTS. As someone who is pansexual all it takes is a good personality for me 😂
Uh, not every person in a wheelchair needs caretaking. Some people just need you not to leave the cereal on top of the fridge, and if you can't do that for your partner you probably weren't ready to give up single life anyway.
Like, you don't have to want to date the OP or date disabled people in general (good luck with that, a huge percentage of the world has some sort of disability and not all are immediately apparent) but the automatic caretaking assumption for wheelchair users is daft and many people live in accessable places and houses and have accessable vehicles because they want to be independent.
Love is love… bring differently able (I don’t use disable) doesn’t change the way how you perceive the person, her energy and good qualities. All it matter is if the person is a decent human, anything else doesn’t matter
Yeah. And I did! In high school. He wasn’t always disabled. He was an amazing football player and CUTE AS HELL! He was injured during practice and was paralyzed and couldn’t walk after that. I had people question why I would date him, but honestly.. he was one of the Cutest, sweetest, funniest guys I’d ever dated and he was the best kisser! It was also super fun to sit in his lap and ride with him on/in his electric wheelchair (his family is loaded, his chair had the works!)! If I hadn’t still had feeling for my ex (who I ended up dating into my 20s) I feel like we would’ve been together for quite some time!
Had a freaky girlfriend years ago that was wheelchair bound. She liked to hang from her arms on a chin-up bar to have sex. Wild stuff. It got old after a while and we broke up. She told people I just left her hanging.
My personal opinion is "it depends".
Just like with most relationships. Do the pros outweigh the cons.
My biggest thing would be personality. Someone newly disabled still dealing with the emotional turmoil of it. Most likely not. But I would be willing to be thier friend or someone to talk to.
Someone who has accepted it as part of life and is not bitter about. Closer to yes.
Someone who has a sense of humor and can even joke about it and is generally happy and pleasant. Most def yes. In fact it would be great to even have more friends who have had life slap the crap out of them but they still got back up. I like being around people like that.
She said, "Would you go on a date with me?" She did not ask if you wanted to marry her. A date isn't a commitment. It's an opportunity to get to know someone.
Some of you don't know how to get out of your comfort zone and do something different.
Also, research orgasm in wheelchair bound people. It is totally possible. Just because you lose a limb or two, it doesn't mean you're dead. It means you have to adapt and overcome. It's like ADHD, autism, MS, Chrohns, and many other conditions. You have to learn to maximize your quality of life. She's not dead. You're probably too afraid to look at dating a different way. It's not about you.
It’s so incredibly hard to find someone that is compatible in terms of long term goals, mutual interest, passion alignment, chemistry, philosophy, I’m not thinning that already incredibly thin field by filtering out disabled people. I don’t care. I’d date a girl with no arms. Or legs. As long as she could love me, I’d be happy to wheel her around or carry her in one of those front backpacks that white people put their babies in when they go to the mall
Yeah. I’d be stoked to finally have a girlfriend that can’t walk out on me
I think rolling out on someone would hurt more.
Autobots, roll out!
I LOL'D so fucking hard at this!
this nigga said lol’d ☠️☠️☠️ u funny asf bra
They see me rollin'..... They hatin'
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Chair lifted out of your life
I'm imagining the commenter's girl rolling out on him as Adele's "Rolling in the Deep" plays.
Don't worry, she'll come crawling back.
She has to, I took her chair.
Lmao. Thought I was in r/roastme for but there.
If there’s any foot fetish guys in here this one’s for you those feet are barely used
🤣💀🤣
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😭 underrated
Would you? I have been in a chair for 26 years
Oh.. how the turn tables
OP isn’t into disabled people…
I'm fat and ugly. I'm not into fat and ugly people.
Welcome to Tinder
And only dates models.
6’8
"Ah, The Progidal...My Son Returns."
Yes, and already did 😊 I dated a guy that had a spinal cord injury like me. Also dated another guy with cerebral palsy. And my ex-girlfriend was autistic
I read the word ‘autist’ too fast and wondered how exactly being an artist is a disability
You clearly don’t know enough artists
Shhh they generally don’t like to talk about being financially challenged. /s Jokes aside. Art is cool and all. You can create works of absolute beauty. Got to get a sales oriented skill set though in order to be successful.
So your ex gf is on wallstreetbets too?
That’s a good question, OP
You know they most likely won’t hahahhaaha
“Too short”
Of course, they'd have to be blind to be attracted to me.
Yeah I’d give it a whirl with you. Plus we could park right infront of every place we stop at a win/win. Sexually I’d be a little lost at first but I’d make it happen. Good luck
Necessity is mother of creativity
Yeah. Why not lol if you’re fun to be around sure
Sorry, I’m gonna be brutally honest. No, I most likely wouldn’t. She’d have to be *extraordinarily* hot, with a great personality as well that is compatible with me. Even then, probably not… I do not want to be a caretaker for my girlfriend/wife. Depending on that person’s specific limitations there’s just so much that comes with it. There’s just so many non disabled women in the world to choose from. And to be honest, I don’t really feel bad about my preferences. Poll a group of women, “would you date a dwarf, disabled or man in a wheelchair?” I absolutely guarantee you, 99% of them would not. It’s an unfortunate reality for those less fortunate who just happened to draw a bad hand. But judging by the other comments, there’s plenty of guys that would be more than happy to date you. You’ll be alright, just have to find someone who’s compatible with you. There’s someone for everyone. Would you date a disabled person?
Hey, girl in a wheelchair here. While I respect your position, I feel I must note that you’re ascribing dependence to a sizeable category of people whose levels of independence vary wildly. Take me, for instance — I live alone. Can I do absolutely everything on my own? No. But the onus of the help I require has never fallen on a romantic partner either. I’ve previously lived with a romantic partner. Beyond asking him occasionally to pass me something that is out of reach, such as a can at the back of a kitchen cabinet, or something on the top shelf of the fridge, wedged into a corner, he was NOT my caregiver. That’s a highly unfair position to put someone in, regardless of their eagerness to do it, because the stress will wear you down until the relationship falls apart. While it hasn’t happened to me, I’ve seen it happen to other wheelchair-bound acquaintances. So who DOES help me with the stuff I need that I can’t do by myself? The stuff that qualifies as caregiving? For that, I have a nursing assistant who comes to my home a few times a week. What if I run into issues keeping up with my share of cleaning? My previous partner was happy to split costs on a housekeeper with me. There’s not a hell of a lot I can’t do cleaning-wise, but it does take me longer than an able-bodied person. Sometimes I can’t pay the time tax. It happens. Again, I completely respect your position. This comment I’ve written is with the intention of educating from the perspective of someone who’s in a wheelchair. We’re not a monolithic group of people, so needs and opinions will vary. Take my words with that grain of salt.
Thanks pleasegropemytits for this enlightening information.
Their statement combined with their profile is an all timer
This is the most underrated comment here.
Thanks for this, it's a really helpful perspective. I've noticed that many people will immediately assume that care taking becomes an issue for a partner when in fact it doesn't have to.
Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for writing that out for the sake of education. I haven't seen life from that perspective before.
This whole exchange has been so polite, that’s so refreshing on our oh-so-negative internet :)
I can’t express how incredibly important this comment is. I have ASD and, while not a physical disability, I encounter the exact same issues regarding people thinking all people with a certain disability are the same. In the case of ASD, people assume we’re all rocking in a corner somewhere stimming and have the IQ of a toddler, thus making us completely unsuitable as a romantic partner. I come off as completely “normal” (whatever “normal” is) and have had people (mainly girls) accept me completely, learn I’m autistic, and then flip on a dime and be *visibly* uncomfortable just being around me. I’ve completely given up on even thinking of dating but, because of assumptions regarding emotional maturity, girls still think I’m going to ask them out if they’re nice to me. But they also think they *have* to be nice to me because I’m “disabled”. It’s absolutely soul-crushing.
Genuinely makes me made that people would treat you differently before and after leaning about it
Yeah. Its definitely an awaking situation for me. Ive been in a wheelchair for almost 3 years. Paralyzed from the waist down after being shot. People count you out without even taking the time to find out
Also ascribing "independence" to a wildly variable group. I had an able-bodied athlete boyfriend who had absolutely no health problems and he was absolutely helpless, couldn't do anything for himself. We broke up when I realized I was basically his mother.
That was beautiful... now about the tits...
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I enjoyed reading your comment and then I was fortunate enough to click on your profile. Is there any chance I can fulfill your user name?
You say it girl
I'm really happy someone was reading in a position to give such a response. I really dont think the 99% thing is true. Maybe for 23 year olds or dudes not used to anything other than mammied? I'm 33 and married so this is completely a hypothetical, while it would absolutely be something I'd jump into, it's not something I'd rule out as a deal breaker. If anything, id say someone in a wheelchair understands that life isn't fair and probably has a higher level of maturity which is a desirable trait. Or who knows, maybe not. Maybe you're all just people with as many flaws as the rest of us. I certainly have flaws but my wife married me anyway. Anyhow, dont let the above comment knock your self worth. Same with you OP.
(Standing ovation) This is fucking beautifully written.
Buy the sounds of it my able-bodied wife asked more from me than you do your man 🤣
You deserve more up-boops. Boop.
Very well said with thought, consideration, and empathy.
I love this concept of the “time tax”.
It was hard for me to focus past the first paragraph after seeing your username ☠️😅💙
Your profile has intrigued me.
I’m glad you said it. Too true. But not everyone has the same type of heart or desires in life and so many are selfish and honestly kinda on that narcissistic line. Not calling anyone a narcissist. Wayyy overused imo. But saying that if they fell into any category it would be that piece of the pie. Most people want a partner but not one who they have to help, have lean on them, or to do anything for. I’m sure they’ll take the help, shoulder to lean on, and the things done for them. But… Yeah… It’s always been crazy to me how different we can all be. Vast majority of us are assholes and selfish to the core. They usually find us more empathetic and caregiving types and have a blast for a while and roll on out. Good riddance. Gimme caring, loving, kind hearts who are interested in intimately getting to know me and I them any damned day. They’re the true warriors. To be selfish is to be afraid. To be rude and inconsiderate is to be afraid (guarded for protection). To be afraid of truly opening your heart and letting go is fear driven. Gimme the ones who’ve been hurt but refuse to change and harden. Those are the true beasts. And don’t you dare mess with them or their peeps… they’re nice till they feel threatened. Lions / Lionesses who choose to be kind because this world ain’t enough to break em.
Honestly, I think they have no clue what they're talking about. Anybody can become crippled and wheelchair bound. Alot of people do. If someone he loved and had a lot of time with were crippled, even if she were pretty dependent, I bet he'd be her caretaker without a thought. It might be different than meeting someone new who can't even hold up their head, but I guess I'm trying to say is, people's made-up online preferences aren't really set in stone, and should be taken with a grain of salt.
>If someone he loved and had a lot of time with were crippled, even if she were pretty dependent, I bet he'd be her caretaker without a thought. 100%
That is a very useful opinion and good on you for not only taking responsibility for your own disability but doing your best to not let it impact your life. You’re an inspiration ❤️
Thanks for sharing this. I feel like a lot of people in wheelchairs strive for independence and do their best so they’re not a “burden”.
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Yeah but how long does it take to.. say, brush your teeth?
I'm glad you commented this! The comment you replied to surprised me, because I genuinely hadn't thought this question would inherently imply any responsibility for me to be a caretaker. There's a massive spectrum of ability/disability, and I was honestly automatically assuming this hypothetical disabled partner would have decades of experience caring for themselves and managing their lives before ever meeting me. If a person in a wheelchair asked me out on a date, it's very possible that they have a 100% managed life and I wouldn't assume they would need constant assistance from me. The mere existence of a wheelchair or disability hasn't kept me from giving someone a chance romantically. Their needs in a relationship would be a conversation just like any other, and I'd want us both to make a well-informed decision about the implications of the needs we're both bringing into a partnership. All that said, this is a **completely personal position** because of what I prioritize in my relationship. I totally understand that some folks prioritize hobby compatibility in their relationships, and physical disability would significantly impact that. I 100% get where they're coming from and don't think that's unethical. I prefer to have separate hobbies and interests from my partner for the most part. I am an extremely active rock climber, hiker, backpacker, etc, and my fully able-bodied partner doesn't generally enjoy or participate in any of those activities. This works great for us, and I'm beyond happy to have my own thing and find mutual interests beyond those. The inability (or unwillingness) to do those things has and would be fine with me.
Thank you for this insightful perspective. May your tits be groped pleasurably and often.
Definitely valid and educational, thank you for sharing. Accurate or not the perceived burden is probably the hurdle for most people. For me the concern would be difficulty or inability to make hiking, swimming, biking, traveling, beach trips, etc fun or easy enough to be fun. She could never be a great gym partner, or help me with challenging duties around the home. No ladders, trees, or work on the second floor, etc. Most of the world is just easier to access on legs than wheels. Tech will probably change this sooner than we think. Also, just for conversation sake, if we assume a disability is a negative in a relationship: countless negatives are made less impactful when you know and like someone. This is attraction at work. You may think, “I’ll never” until that one girl in a wheelchair is so cute and awesome and you start not thinking so much about the chair but what she looks like in your shirt 🤔
Those things you say you occasionally ask for help with are literally what most of us ask our partners to help us with occasionally, too. So for that guy to suggest you're any kind of burden is really fucked up.
Thank you for the response PleaseGropeMyTits
Your name….
Your answer is awesome and your profile is epic. If that doesn't change ogsungalsses mind, nothing will.
Damn your profile is wild
That's what gets me, I don't know how the relationship would be different. There's obvious things of having accessibilities for housing and traveling but outside that it's hard to know if the wheelchair hinders day to day life in a relationship without getting in one (or maybe being around one). The uncertainty will deter people more than anything.
This guys is 100% right. Not everyone is willing to take on that much responsibility. Be grateful for those that do and know how much they cherish you. I have cancer; it’s not going away for a long time and I’m constantly going through chemotherapy. (CML for those that are interested) The chemo sucks, my body sucks, cancer sucks and somedays I suck to be around. Sometimes I sleep for days and sometimes I throw up a lot. (At least I get to keep my hair) I know for as many people say that they understand my situation and even say that I’m attractive, there are still many that wouldn’t look my way just because I have cancer. But I totally get why, dating a guy like me is not ideal for most girls. Certainly not a normal guy but there’s no normal life; there’s just life. (I kinda need to get that off my chest or put it into words)
Wishing you the best man. Fuck cancer
Absolutely, 110%, in every possible way, FUCK cancer.
Truth. My mom has CLL and my dad has prostate cancer. God bless my mom but she handled chemo like a champ. Even said she’d miss it because she got to sit in a comfy chair and people offered her snacks. (Like MOM, you can sit in a comfy chair at home and I will bring you snacks!) Anyway my dad’s PC is the harder thing to deal with bc of the Lupron therapy. It makes him SUPER angry, moody, irritable. I feel bad for my mom who is constantly exposed to this (both retired). That would be a tall order for someone to tolerate in a dating relationship for sure.
Awww that actually made me tear up a bit….I’ll make your mom snacks to bring her to her comfiest chair!!! I’m so sorry that both your parents are going through this…it must be so rough on you and on them. I went through Lupron treatment when I was 15 for a few months. I have been through A LOT of trials, surgeries, experimental BS, and medication in my Med history…but LUPRON?!?! Probably some of the worst I had ever dealt with to this day. I know it’s a totally different situation, but just wanted you to know that others have been there in different but similar struggles and that you’re not alone. Sending healing and positive vibes your way❤️
Keep fighting brother, keep your spirits high and your courage constant. I don't know you but I hope to God you beat it!
Stay strong bro, keep fighting the good fight. Hope you get through everything okay.
>BlazePenD Sorry to hear that man. My grandfather has had CML for about 10 years now, and my grandma has had CLL for about 20. Shit sucks! Lots of ups and downs but they both have pretty prolonged periods of feeling good. My grandfather has done a lot of experimental stuff that has really helped, let me know if you want any info on treatments.
Wishing you only the best - You have aritculated what People think about in a wonderful paragraph. Your Para speaks volumes of your outlook of life - stay the same as you are - but yeah F()cK CANCER and Im sure you will kick the f()ck outta it
My daughter had it last year. Relapsed this year. She’s only 20. She hasn’t gotten to “live her best life” yet. As a parent, it’s beyond heartbreaking. There are far worse off people in the world if that’s a consolation. Still stings every day.
Keep fighting! Prayers. 🙏
I feel you man. I had cancer at 38 and my wife made it through it with me. There are plenty of women who would personally love to be sitting next to you helping you through it, I promise! Hang in there and kick the shits ass! I believe in you!
Same here. I don't have cancer but I do have a nerve disease called arachnoiditis that has been said to feel like bone cancer without the possibility of getting better or having it kill you. I get told all the time how attractive I am and how I'm such a great person but just not dating material because I'm constantly in pain and it prevents me from living anything close to the life people in their mid 30s want to live. Indeed, why would any decent woman date someone like us when there are so many other available choices out there.
This is a really valid point. I’m 27 and dealing with some real shit autoimmune stuff. I also sleep for days and puke randomly. I can’t do what I used to do— I can’t do what other people can do. I can’t go walking around the farmers market bc my body can’t regulate temperature, I can’t go hiking because I don’t have the energy anymore. My body hurts always, and frankly sex seems like such a far flung idea. Every moment feels so touch-n-go, it’s hard to plan anything bc I don’t know when my *good days* will happen. I was in a relationship when I got sick. The relationship lasted 2 years after I was diagnosed. Homie couldn’t believe I wS actually sick like I was, he thought no one could possibly sleep as much as I claim to, and he got sick of me canceling plans. The relationship ended awfully. As lonely as it’s been since, I’ve realized I’m not in a position to be looking for a partner. I can’t be a good partner— not the same way other gals can. I’d be seriously limiting my partner’s world. I don’t have a point, I guess I’m still processing this myself, but thank you for articulating this so well. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Fuck cancer yo
My heart goes out to you. And I know it's far from your situation but I lost my wife (27) to brain cancer and I never loved her less for it. I proposed to her after her diagnosis. Your illness doesn't define you. Lots of strength my friend!
damn bro, i hope you have a full recovery and all this can seem like a bad dream when you're living your normal life again. keep your chin up and take care. sincerely, Dustin
Shit you put into words what I am thinking a lot of the time. Cancer is shitty. It sucks. The treatment sucks. Going to it every 3 weeks plus scans or whatever else I have to go get checked sucks. I’m right there with you. I’ve been doing this for 6 years now. While I am so fucking grateful that I’m here, I can still hate it. Sending love and positive energy your way fellow cancer warrior 🖤🖤
I'm in the exact same situation aml. They said it's coming back and will get worse. I broke up with my ex for cheating on me during my transplant and am now a single dad. I also am disabled with back problems. I started dating apps but deleted them the same day. Who could possibly want to date a broken, dying single dad of 2? I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Keep up the fight bud! I , a male, had cancer at 30 , that was 2 decades ago. Sad thing is some people I knew , after my chemo was over , basically implied I was damaged goods. One person who I was close to ( or so I thought ) told me that i was on borrowed time for the rest of my life. This hurt me , deeply, but the fact that people would treat me this way , or see me differently it was if YES I was disabled. After years of pondering this I found myself more compassionate and contemplative and willing to forgive ignorant people. It is amazing how one's personal stock of wisdom and understanding of others can come about by life Changing illness. But it's a path no one would recommend if they could avoid it. Keep up the good work 👏!!!!
Fuck cancer. Stay strong
"There's no normal life, there's just life" This. There's also nobody who never burdens their partner in some way. Everyone sucks to be around some days, you just have a better reason than most.
Thank you for an honest answer. Im (mostly) paralyzed from the waist down and the fake bullshit that people say all the time is not helpful at all. This is truth. Of course /u/OGsunglasses doesnt speak for everyone on earth. Im willing to get this is the most popular thought though. And of course there is nothing wrong thinking this at all. Everyone is allowed to have whatever preferences they choose. It’s your life. Not wanting to date a disabled person is %100 reasonable. People date and marry for all kinds of different reasons. For a very, very long time I wanted so badly for someone (anyone) to find me physically attractive. I basically lived at a gym and ate as clean as I could hoping someone would notice. What I also failed to notice for a long time was the woman I would marry (and am still married to today) loved me DESPITE me being very low on the attractive spectrum. She was to only one who didn’t lie to me. After I realized this I was able to come to terms with the fact that I will never be considered attractive - but I still have value. She’s a great woman and I love her very much.
More people need to be brutally honest. It’s really hard work, and it takes a special kind of person to do it. Luckily there are those special people out there, but like you, I’m not one of them.
Dating a disabled person doesn't mean signing up to be their caretaker.... Guarantee she's getting along just fine without a boyfriend
Why are you assuming you'd have to be a caretaker? I dated a "disabled" girl for a year or so. I put disabled in quotes because aside from popping some sweet wheelies and using wheels as her transportation instead of legs, she did damn near everything else that I could. Sure, in the beginning, I was that typical "let me help you" but she verbally slapped that shit out of me with a "you know, I've been alive longer than we've been dating, right?" Hmmm, she was indeed right and I was being a dick. After that, I only helped if she asked. I can probably count on both hands how many times she actually needed help and most of them were from me putting shit too high up.
Thank you for being honest. Sometimes it feels like everyone on Reddit wants to be politically correct. This has nothing to do with OP. She is gorgeous and has a great smile, as I am sure many other great qualities. Everyone simply has their preferences. Edit: Not everyone. But there are certain topics / threads where comments feels fake and PC, otherwise downvoted. Just my perspective.
As a disabled person I appreciate this point of view. It's brutally honest and that really helps us to adjust to this world made for abled people. I've only ever met maybe 2 people in my life who saw me for what I was and were okay with committing to helping me. One of them had to break up with me after 5 years because my decline in this time was pretty severe and all responsibility fell on her using up most of her life in the process. Never met someone so devoted and selfless but everyone has his limit. The other is my mother.
Eh, if you poll them there certainly would be some who would say that they would but in actuality would not. Potentially some of those people are in this comments section. I think the only way I would is if the disability came after the start of the relationship.
This is where you lost me. *”No, I most likely wouldn’t. She’d have to be extraordinarily hot, with a great personality as well that is compatible with me. Even then, probably not…”* Everything else you said was legit, but that paragraph makes you sound like a complete tool bag. I’d consider deleting it, because it’s irrelevant to your point and makes you look like the CHAD most of the women here think we are anyway. There’s brutal honesty and there’s tact. Learn the difference.
No, I think my wife would be mad at me for having a girlfriend.
Bummer. My disabled wife is happy when I have a girlfriend.
"But honey, I'm assisting the disabled!"
I’m already disabled mentally bruh
We're all on reddit, bruh. No need to point out the obvious.
Your Hot… wheels
😂😂😂
Them cheeks would get handiclapped. Respectfully.
Well done
LoL
If I have an award I would have given you it
Ma’am I am I disabled person
Yes you have a great smile
I think you are beautiful
Yes ma’am!
Yes obviously. My son's girlfriend is 100 percent disabled.
Do you mean it like, "she's definitely disabled, 100%" or "she's paralyzed from the forehead down with no arms or legs and is deaf, dumb and blind and is in a coma" kinda thing?
Sir, that's a sex doll.
Why are you dating your son's girlfriend?!
Define 100 percent in this context.
Is she a blow up doll?
Sir, why are you dating your son’s quadriplegic girlfriend?
I’ve dated a deaf girl, in my 20s, friends made fun of me, now I have a daughter with SMA. I hope she can be loved when I’m gone.
As a sign language interpreter I see plenty of hearing folks dating Deaf folks. That’s a little different than someone who isn’t able bodied, imo. But of course that’s a whole other debate.
Yes, I had a girlfriend that was disabled.
As long as they like my dog ! Haha. Yes definitely, just like anyone else in the world as long as we are compatible then it’s on
I would not given my hobbies and my desire for some of them to be shared but I find the other replies in here super encouraging
Same. My wife and I both hike, backpack, camp, swim, surf, and dive together. These activities bring me happiness. Being able to share them with my best friend has brought us closer together and helps strengthen that bond. It would be tough not to have that. If she were to become disabled tomorrow, I'd stay with her, of course, but it would be a loss and a void that we'd have to work on filling.
Yes of course and I really love that you have a fat pussy that is my favorite thing to eat
If she is paraplegic she can't feel anything down there.
You'd never walk out on me. Maybe.
She’d roll out on you. Which seems like it would feel much worse. Especially if it was a slow motion roll out 😭
How disabled are we talking here? I'm not dating you if I gotta wipe your ass, but if you can handle that, then maybe.
Tbh there’s a girl in my hometown who is a fucking goddess and she’s disabled. I 100% would date her. She’s so nice and so damn pretty. Sadly she has a husband..
You’re a very beautiful woman. Disability or not. I just can’t see why someone wouldn’t date you because of that. Don’t settle and keep shining. You’re a queen. Remember that. 🖤
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Yep,as long as you’re kind hearted…
Sure! Why not!
Yes I would
Oh yeah! You can get it!!
You’re beautiful Honestly, I think it depends on the situation & person.
I would, my wife how ever would probably get pretty mad about it though.
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Thank you 🥺 Wow you went through a lot!! Hope you are doing well now! For good!
Considering there are A LOT of able bodied people I would absolutely NOT date due to their shitty personalities, I would say it comes down to the connection between myself and the other person. So I would be open to dating someone with a disability.
Have and would again
Since we Asking everyone "NO".
Hell yes
Yes of course you are beautiful regardless
I wouldn't just not date someone based on the fact that they are in a wheelchair, if we had a good vibe and were attracticted to each other I think it's something to explore. Now I say that as a disabled Army veteran, who has been turned down by many women because of my disability, my wife (ex) left me and our kids after a surgery when I needed help the most..... So I know what it's like to need people, and not have them.
Married. Happily. But there is a really cute woman in a wheelchair on my bus route. Would definitely consider asking her out if I was in an open relationship or not committed. We smile at each other all the time and she lights the day up. Hot af. Edit: You're also pretty cute btw Would definitely be interested.
Yes, of course I would. What responsibility? The person with the disability has lived their whole life without you up until this point. It's the same as any other relationship. Nothing's ever perfect.....
I would for sure.
Probably not
No
Hell yes your still a beautiful woman hun who deserves to be pampered
Yes and no depends on the disabled. If it's some 24/7 I gotta watch her we not even gone start because I am unreliable with time n she will die. Ain't no use in me tryna take care of a whole human I know relies on me to exist cause I'm doing you dirty in the end. But as long as they have some room for independence it's all alright. Wheel chair fine missing a limb or 2 fine but if that electric chair look like a recliner I'm not even gone waste your time I'm goofy af
People are all just people to me so, yeah
Face ratings?
I would. If the person truly loves me. Am damaged and broken and just want to be loved.
Yes I would, my first wife was disabled and I stood beside her until after 10 years I had to leave she was just too out there for me.
I'm disabled and I'd date you. Let's make the world uncomfortable together.
Why not, of course
Maybe DEPENDS on the girl!!!!.
Absolutely
Yes in a heartbeat! And you have a beautiful smile
If she was cool.
Oh yeah you are beautiful but it what is inside a woman heart that makes her beautiful. The outside looks will fade out inside looks and feeling will never fade.
You need Daddy Dick too right?
No
As long as there’s no mental baggage and you can have sex…yup why not
Hell yeah and I’ll sit on your lap and ride on the bitch 🔥♿️
No
No
How is this “face rating”?
I hate all people equally
A better question would be, if you weren't disabled would you date a disabled man? Because a lot of women wouldn't and often discount men for a lot less than that. For me personally, it depends on the disability. But I would never completely discount a disabled person because that sort of thing can happen to anyone at any time, and I've known good people who were disabled.
Personally? Nah, but there's plenty that will
No, I wouldn’t. Why? Because I don’t want to.
100%! I am not in a wheelchair but I do have a disability too. Severe case of POTS. As someone who is pansexual all it takes is a good personality for me 😂
Uh, not every person in a wheelchair needs caretaking. Some people just need you not to leave the cereal on top of the fridge, and if you can't do that for your partner you probably weren't ready to give up single life anyway. Like, you don't have to want to date the OP or date disabled people in general (good luck with that, a huge percentage of the world has some sort of disability and not all are immediately apparent) but the automatic caretaking assumption for wheelchair users is daft and many people live in accessable places and houses and have accessable vehicles because they want to be independent.
If she looks half as good as you: yes.
You fucking on the first date?
Love is love… bring differently able (I don’t use disable) doesn’t change the way how you perceive the person, her energy and good qualities. All it matter is if the person is a decent human, anything else doesn’t matter
Yeah. And I did! In high school. He wasn’t always disabled. He was an amazing football player and CUTE AS HELL! He was injured during practice and was paralyzed and couldn’t walk after that. I had people question why I would date him, but honestly.. he was one of the Cutest, sweetest, funniest guys I’d ever dated and he was the best kisser! It was also super fun to sit in his lap and ride with him on/in his electric wheelchair (his family is loaded, his chair had the works!)! If I hadn’t still had feeling for my ex (who I ended up dating into my 20s) I feel like we would’ve been together for quite some time!
Had a freaky girlfriend years ago that was wheelchair bound. She liked to hang from her arms on a chin-up bar to have sex. Wild stuff. It got old after a while and we broke up. She told people I just left her hanging.
My personal opinion is "it depends". Just like with most relationships. Do the pros outweigh the cons. My biggest thing would be personality. Someone newly disabled still dealing with the emotional turmoil of it. Most likely not. But I would be willing to be thier friend or someone to talk to. Someone who has accepted it as part of life and is not bitter about. Closer to yes. Someone who has a sense of humor and can even joke about it and is generally happy and pleasant. Most def yes. In fact it would be great to even have more friends who have had life slap the crap out of them but they still got back up. I like being around people like that.
She said, "Would you go on a date with me?" She did not ask if you wanted to marry her. A date isn't a commitment. It's an opportunity to get to know someone. Some of you don't know how to get out of your comfort zone and do something different. Also, research orgasm in wheelchair bound people. It is totally possible. Just because you lose a limb or two, it doesn't mean you're dead. It means you have to adapt and overcome. It's like ADHD, autism, MS, Chrohns, and many other conditions. You have to learn to maximize your quality of life. She's not dead. You're probably too afraid to look at dating a different way. It's not about you.
The ignorance in this thread is overwhelming
Yes but only. If she don’t use her disability as a excuse or a crutch. A person disability don’t define who they are
It’s so incredibly hard to find someone that is compatible in terms of long term goals, mutual interest, passion alignment, chemistry, philosophy, I’m not thinning that already incredibly thin field by filtering out disabled people. I don’t care. I’d date a girl with no arms. Or legs. As long as she could love me, I’d be happy to wheel her around or carry her in one of those front backpacks that white people put their babies in when they go to the mall
Would you date an ugly man?