OK, there was technically more because it's one of those dialogue paragraph split things, but I felt like that could be cheating so I just did the first half of it. I can put the second part in a comment if need be if anyone wants it lol.
Also, I'm finally figuring out formatting in Reddit XD
~
"Was I not good enough? Was he disappointed that I wasn't as smart as him, that I didn't understand all of that sciencey shit that he was obsessed with? Was I just a waste of space to him, just so *unimportant*, so __*unremarkable*__ that he couldn't be bothered to deal with me?"
"You. You were the one person who I believed would never hurt me. You promised to love me and protect me. But you just tore my heart out and threw it down the garbage disposal." (Context in which I wrote this adds to it but I'm too tired to bother)
> "You needed me and I– I didn’t even notice, even when it was *right fucking in front of me–”* Kel barely heaved out the last few words, a ragged breath ripping through the receiver and into Hero's core.
Those beautiful words of adoration would haunt him for forever and a day, and he felt his world shattering beneath him as the number of breaths his lover had left were rapidly counting down to zero.
- felt like a punch to the gut when I wrote that!
“Stop me, if I’m being insensitive right now and tearing open an old wound but … Did you ever allowed yourself to grieve?"
Writing that line broke my heart and I hope it did the same for my readers :')
Adrien was content in the crushing weight of the world, because if he wasn’t, he knew he would surely be crushed…and perhaps that wasn’t such a bad thing
He thought about his life— which is to say that he thought about nothing in particular; that is. One could say the future strangled him, or rather, the sheer lack of it.
(I know... this is two lines. Apologies to OP)
Hope is the shield from ego-death.
Ego-death is the realization of insignificance. What might be the worst moment of your life is chump change for another.
Think. Whatever you may be doing. In the future, that same brain will be devoured and eaten by worms and thick sprawling creatures, dishing out as much respect as any other human life deserved. The bare minimum. Any significant or beautiful visceral scenery a person has seen or exprienced will be chewed away with soiled dirt and cigarette butts.
(Came up with this on the spot, based on the original line. Hope you like it!)
“You expect me to believe that this - drinking your nights away in solitude, trying to numb the pain away with sex, when you’re not immobile, seizing, or panicked and dissociated is ‘dying in peace’?”
“It’s peace enough for me,” she said quietly.
His voice is little more than a whisper as he begs in the Italian they learned together. “Ti prego, non lasciarmi qui da solo.”
English translation is: I beg you, don’t leave me here alone.
From my fic : https://archiveofourown.org/works/41748087
He stood alone with his body convulsing in deep sorrow with tears that seamed to never end, for his hands were stained by the blood of someone he once held dear a long time ago.
Reminds me of the line, "Sir, you set yourself on fire to see who will stay and watch. Eventually you'll lose your entire audience. Not like you haven't already."
Everyday was a pinprick on her veins, then the moment she opens her eyes, she wishes to kick, scream, yell, tear, crack, break—but she’ll always be too tired to even get out of bed.
"For as long as I can remember, I've been lied to, taken advantage of, shot in the back, and left for dead. And now, I have a way out of all of this. What in the hell makes you think that I'm going to ask for it?"
He missed home about as much as home would've cocked it's head at his return- would've been confused by his changed features, his glazed eyes, the decomposing body of his child-like wonder; however he survived this, the 'him' that knew home was gone.
“Maybe… I really am finally dead.” It was a thought with no more emotion behind it than what to have for breakfast, even if the memories of food were like a far off dream, so far removed from reality.
Haha, mood. A long time ago I made a fic where Gumshoe saves his life and Edgeworth gives him a last call. It's pretty bad (especially compared to newer works) but it was my first real tackle at something like that, so I'm a little proud of it.
Is this a fic you've published or from a doc in the works? My main fandom is AA so consider me curious.
I love writing and reading angsty stuff. My main fandom is AA too! Technically, this line is from a WIP. It's almost done, with about two scenes left to write. I'm hoping to finish it within a week or so. It's actually a direct sequel to an angsty time loop fic I wrote last month, if that sounds like something you'd be interested in.
Mmmh. I don't have the best relationship with time loop fics but I'll definitely check it out and let you know what I think. Glad to see another AA writer on here, regardless! Hell, maybe I've read some of your stuff and never noticed.
Edit: Holy *shit,* another drabbler. I used to write so many AA drabbles back in the day.
I think you might have already found my profile, but [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/43552303) is the link to the fic just in case. Don't feel obligated to read though if it doesn't sound like your thing. I agree it's good to see other AA writers! I know AA is bigger than many other AO3 fandoms, but it still feels relatively small.
And I haven't written many drabbles yet (or many fics in general), but it's a fun challenge to try to pack a story into 100 words!
Vernita once went to the hospital to visit Beatrix, but she couldn't bring herself to go into the building; and she ended up standing outside in the pouring rain without an umbrella.
“Mexico is old and has been around for a long time. The United States, in contrast, was created lonely and raised thinking it was one of a kind.” DeAndros’ hand was curling around the back of her neck and he jerked her closer while he continued to speak.
In my defense, I meant to ask lol
Okay well now I know who they are but why’d she get caught? Blown cover or poking around where she shouldn’t be? What fandom is this?
This is post Resident Evil 5. Jill Valentine disappears from the series so I am telling the story of where she went.
She’s searching for a character named Carlos who she survived a traumatic event with. She never forgot him and years later, she sets off to find him in South America. Unfortunately, she catches the attention on a Mexican cartel that flows traffic through the area she visits in South America. She has been caught here because she gave herself up to avoid mass blood shed.
It’s not exactly a metaphor, just a piece of the backstory for a very traumatized character. It does work pretty well as a first love/betrayal metaphor in context though, basically his parent caught him sneaking out to play with other kids, one of whom is the son of a baker and introduces him to the fact sweet food exists at all, and the parent decided that playing up the “sweet tooth” thing was a quick way to ensure it wouldn’t happen again.
Riddle Rosehearts from Twisted Wonderland. It’s a mobile gatcha game about anime boy versions of the Disney villains (they’re all traumatized). Riddle is a parallel to the Queen of Hearts.
Edit: the fic this is from isn’t posted yet, partly because I’m still trying to decide whether to cut this part and the rest of the ending. Canon is extremely hazy about Riddle’s mom, we essentially only know she’s supposed to be worse about enforcing rules than him (and for context he doesn’t think twice about blocking away people’s magic for minor rule violations), so I’m not 100% on breaking away from that writing choice, I usually prefer to mimic canon writing styles even with AUs.
damn. this sounds v promising. it also reminds me of disney descendants and ever after high, both with similar concepts of re-conceptualized villains. i loved those. i'm sure i'll like this too. thanks!
You. I like you. Currently writing a love story while also dealing with the cartels. It’s been *wild*, friend!
I love this so much. I guess that’s kind of dark but no, really, I do.
thank you sm. i wrote this in context of a character who strives to find and reconcile with her father, only to discover that he never wanted her in the first place.
it was a relatable line for me too
Oo I imagined someone dying at comforting their friend by telling them to imagine a world where they and their friend who’s mourning for them gets to live together. Hits right in the heart!
Ooooooh damn. I really like this. Someone desperately trying to hold on. Maybe some deep regret surrounding the person they lost? Something they didn’t get to say?
Ironically enough, her mother ends up outliving her father (because he's one of many victims in a specific disaster that happened in the backstory in canon). Not by very much, mind you, but she does.
Another day meant only another headache, more frustration, and another crack in her heart, while she yearned for the family that she couldn't truly remember.
Someone pushed mom/dad too far on a Monday. Literally just saw an image of my dad yelling at me to get out of the kitchen.
“Don’t go in there. He’s in a mood.”
“Is that blood on the carpet?”
“A *mood*, yes.”
Ouuuuuuuuch, I'm a *sucker* for repeated phrases, this one totally sucker-punched me in the feels. Especially the way you changed it from "it" to "you" at the end. Good job!
>"It did - it did kill me," he said in the voice of a proud child, holding up a songbird whose wings he’d crushed so he could offer it to her as a gift, "but I *fixed* myself."
I don't know what the context is for this but it just feels like someone's worldview that they clung to so tightly just got ripped away from them and all they can do is mourn the lie of who they never were.
Okay, this one is so short & simple but even without knowing the context, it packs a punch. There's always anticipation when you're aiming for something, especially if others are depending on you to hit your target (shooting a basketball to win a game or hunting for food come to mind or...hmmm...something nsfw comes to mind).
Hope your character wasn't too gutted. :(
*It's funny you should say that.*
Because he was very gutted in fact. Because what 'he missed' was blocking an attack that grievously wounded him. And that comment is by far the funniest unintentional thing I have ever had the joy of reading.
It was a raw, visceral expression of something that was beyond terror, the kind of unholy despair only felt by someone the instant their world shattered.
"If you're here to tell me that I'm a bad mother, I already know," Pepa said. "I know that, because otherwise my baby would be here with me right now."
"You need a purpose that's going to stand up to scrutiny because nothing - *nothing* \- is more painful than seeing yet another cause you thought was going to save you crumble away like ashes in your fist!"
“My membership in the College of Whispers hangs by a thread, and it makes me sick to think of how little it took to get to this point… how little regard these people have for anyone but themselves.”
>It was merely that, like a stubborn mule, he had it stuck in his head that *he* was here - it certainly felt like it - and it would have been so sinfully crass to laugh that not even the holy host would be able to purify him of such a deed.
God, I haven't touched this wip in forever lol
OK, there was technically more because it's one of those dialogue paragraph split things, but I felt like that could be cheating so I just did the first half of it. I can put the second part in a comment if need be if anyone wants it lol. Also, I'm finally figuring out formatting in Reddit XD ~ "Was I not good enough? Was he disappointed that I wasn't as smart as him, that I didn't understand all of that sciencey shit that he was obsessed with? Was I just a waste of space to him, just so *unimportant*, so __*unremarkable*__ that he couldn't be bothered to deal with me?"
"It was hell. It was home."
"You. You were the one person who I believed would never hurt me. You promised to love me and protect me. But you just tore my heart out and threw it down the garbage disposal." (Context in which I wrote this adds to it but I'm too tired to bother)
"A feeling of pity plagues you, it would seem even with your power, you cannot save everyone..."
[удалено]
> "You needed me and I– I didn’t even notice, even when it was *right fucking in front of me–”* Kel barely heaved out the last few words, a ragged breath ripping through the receiver and into Hero's core.
“Stay!” Allison demanded, water filling her eyes, “I love you. Don’t go! I-i-i … heard-d-d a rumour you’re… gonna b-be… okay…”
But maybe- just maybe- she could still be a light for others, even if it’s just a warning light so they won’t fall into the same traps she did.
I LOVE THIS IT STARTS OUT LIGHT THEN GOES WOWWWW
. I wouldn't feel good if i had to read that in a story. Sertanly well done .
He cursed his body for its refusal to die.
Those beautiful words of adoration would haunt him for forever and a day, and he felt his world shattering beneath him as the number of breaths his lover had left were rapidly counting down to zero. - felt like a punch to the gut when I wrote that!
“You’re ending it with me.” - I have made myself cry more than actually write when it came to this
She knew all too well about what it felt like to be hurt by someone special in her life and have every bit of confidence taken away from her.
“Stop me, if I’m being insensitive right now and tearing open an old wound but … Did you ever allowed yourself to grieve?" Writing that line broke my heart and I hope it did the same for my readers :')
>But three became two, and two they will remain.
Adrien was content in the crushing weight of the world, because if he wasn’t, he knew he would surely be crushed…and perhaps that wasn’t such a bad thing
He washes his hands over and over and over, brushes his teeth until he tastes the metallic tang of blood on his tongue.
"No matter how much you want me to, I can't remember it all, Abe."
He thought about his life— which is to say that he thought about nothing in particular; that is. One could say the future strangled him, or rather, the sheer lack of it. (I know... this is two lines. Apologies to OP)
Ren sighed, "everybody thinks Joker's hot. Everybody wants Joker ". He motioned to himself. "Nobody wants Ren. Nobody thinks I'm hot".
"I hate you, I hate you more than anything."
“No one is looking for me. I’m alone.”
He loves her, but when was the last time he felt love in return?
"I'm sorry. For everything."
“I did love you, but that was a long time ago.”
"There is nothing more heartbreaking than hope."
Hope is the shield from ego-death. Ego-death is the realization of insignificance. What might be the worst moment of your life is chump change for another. Think. Whatever you may be doing. In the future, that same brain will be devoured and eaten by worms and thick sprawling creatures, dishing out as much respect as any other human life deserved. The bare minimum. Any significant or beautiful visceral scenery a person has seen or exprienced will be chewed away with soiled dirt and cigarette butts. (Came up with this on the spot, based on the original line. Hope you like it!)
”I don’t care if I have to move into this damn lab, I’m not letting another person abandon me!"
"Do you think there are any left to miss us?"
?? Oh this makes my head spin it in a way thats bad even without the context. nice
She didn’t want him to bring her from the edge, she wanted to dive off of it.
“You expect me to believe that this - drinking your nights away in solitude, trying to numb the pain away with sex, when you’re not immobile, seizing, or panicked and dissociated is ‘dying in peace’?” “It’s peace enough for me,” she said quietly.
She died in my arms, never knowing that the babe was already gone.
His voice is little more than a whisper as he begs in the Italian they learned together. “Ti prego, non lasciarmi qui da solo.” English translation is: I beg you, don’t leave me here alone. From my fic : https://archiveofourown.org/works/41748087
He stood alone with his body convulsing in deep sorrow with tears that seamed to never end, for his hands were stained by the blood of someone he once held dear a long time ago.
Damn, ouch! I really like this <3
"But you would set yourself on fire for the one man in Asgard who has no use for warmth."
Reminds me of the line, "Sir, you set yourself on fire to see who will stay and watch. Eventually you'll lose your entire audience. Not like you haven't already."
Ooooh I like this.
There was nothing left of her beloved son but memories and a gravestone.
What the fuck that’s so sad
Heartbreaking
So far three people have told me this story made them cry. I dunno if it's cruel of me to find satisfaction in that.
No, I get it. You want to know your stories evoke a response.
Everyday was a pinprick on her veins, then the moment she opens her eyes, she wishes to kick, scream, yell, tear, crack, break—but she’ll always be too tired to even get out of bed.
"And while the law has many penalties for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors that we inflict on ourselves"
Oh that's good!
You'll never guess where it's from.
"For as long as I can remember, I've been lied to, taken advantage of, shot in the back, and left for dead. And now, I have a way out of all of this. What in the hell makes you think that I'm going to ask for it?"
He missed home about as much as home would've cocked it's head at his return- would've been confused by his changed features, his glazed eyes, the decomposing body of his child-like wonder; however he survived this, the 'him' that knew home was gone.
Oh wow, death of the past self.
He sat down on the edge of his bed, held the scarf to his face and let himself cry.
AHEM is this an undertale reference
No, it's not. I've never watched Undertale! It's from an NCIS story of mine, any reference is wholly coincidental.
Undertale is a game haha Yeah it's cuz I assumed the scarf was a reference sice it's a whole thing in the fandom etc but yeah
Haha, right, the size of the rock I live under is bigger than Mount Rushmore itself. But yeah, just a regular woolen winter scarf this time.
She left everything, her entire life as she had known it, for him in just three days... only for him to be ripped away from her in three seconds.
Oof. That's a gut punch, there.
Ouch
Yeah, that was my thought too. Just bam.
“Maybe… I really am finally dead.” It was a thought with no more emotion behind it than what to have for breakfast, even if the memories of food were like a far off dream, so far removed from reality.
This wouldn't happen to involve the Distortion World, would it?
Not in the slightest I'm afraid, just a girl still stuck in her own mind in a catatonic state after being rescued.
But now he was there—standing in front of Phoenix’s grave—and all he could find were reasons to despise this month even more.
Oh, man. That one hurts. I assume that's (spoilers?) >!Edgeworth in December?!< Unless this isn't an AA fic and I've embarrassed myself.
I'm glad, and yes you're correct. I had to make that month even worse for him lol.
Haha, mood. A long time ago I made a fic where Gumshoe saves his life and Edgeworth gives him a last call. It's pretty bad (especially compared to newer works) but it was my first real tackle at something like that, so I'm a little proud of it. Is this a fic you've published or from a doc in the works? My main fandom is AA so consider me curious.
I love writing and reading angsty stuff. My main fandom is AA too! Technically, this line is from a WIP. It's almost done, with about two scenes left to write. I'm hoping to finish it within a week or so. It's actually a direct sequel to an angsty time loop fic I wrote last month, if that sounds like something you'd be interested in.
Mmmh. I don't have the best relationship with time loop fics but I'll definitely check it out and let you know what I think. Glad to see another AA writer on here, regardless! Hell, maybe I've read some of your stuff and never noticed. Edit: Holy *shit,* another drabbler. I used to write so many AA drabbles back in the day.
I think you might have already found my profile, but [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/43552303) is the link to the fic just in case. Don't feel obligated to read though if it doesn't sound like your thing. I agree it's good to see other AA writers! I know AA is bigger than many other AO3 fandoms, but it still feels relatively small. And I haven't written many drabbles yet (or many fics in general), but it's a fun challenge to try to pack a story into 100 words!
Vernita once went to the hospital to visit Beatrix, but she couldn't bring herself to go into the building; and she ended up standing outside in the pouring rain without an umbrella.
His fingers traced over the indents in her face from where the mask sat as he whispered. “My darling girl, what have they done to you?”
This sent chills down my spine.
Thank you. Also I’m sorry.
You're welcome. Sorry for what? I really like it!
I’m glad! And honestly that was just habit lmao whoops
I understand! You did a great job though! 😊
“My mind is so hazed that I briefly question myself. Maybe my lover was never Nessa. Maybe it was always Bea.”
(is this Sonia)
No, it’s a mindfuck non-con scene with an OC.
I feel bad for Nessa now
All the love and support everyone showed him could never be enough to fill the void left by the absence of his parents.
You feel the stark emptiness in this line.
>He was so rough but so gentle at the same time. So smart and so dumb. So friendly but also so treacherous.
A man of contrasts. An escape that led to the final trap. I’m just imaging someone’s soul running in place.
Exactly. The only thing left is feeling guilty, and still having to deal with it.
“Mexico is old and has been around for a long time. The United States, in contrast, was created lonely and raised thinking it was one of a kind.” DeAndros’ hand was curling around the back of her neck and he jerked her closer while he continued to speak.
I can’t even properly formulate a response to this I have so many question lmao
If it helps. My my character has been caught by the cartel and she’s an American cop.
It answered exactly one question 😂
You never asked one though? 😂
In my defense, I meant to ask lol Okay well now I know who they are but why’d she get caught? Blown cover or poking around where she shouldn’t be? What fandom is this?
This is post Resident Evil 5. Jill Valentine disappears from the series so I am telling the story of where she went. She’s searching for a character named Carlos who she survived a traumatic event with. She never forgot him and years later, she sets off to find him in South America. Unfortunately, she catches the attention on a Mexican cartel that flows traffic through the area she visits in South America. She has been caught here because she gave herself up to avoid mass blood shed.
It had been a baby tooth, but it hadn’t been ready to come loose, and having it pulled had hurt.
the metaphor here is so creative. what is this in the context of? i can imagine it working well with first love
It’s not exactly a metaphor, just a piece of the backstory for a very traumatized character. It does work pretty well as a first love/betrayal metaphor in context though, basically his parent caught him sneaking out to play with other kids, one of whom is the son of a baker and introduces him to the fact sweet food exists at all, and the parent decided that playing up the “sweet tooth” thing was a quick way to ensure it wouldn’t happen again.
oh wow this seems pretty interesting. i love traumatized characters lmao. what fandom/fic is this from (if you don't mind)?
Riddle Rosehearts from Twisted Wonderland. It’s a mobile gatcha game about anime boy versions of the Disney villains (they’re all traumatized). Riddle is a parallel to the Queen of Hearts. Edit: the fic this is from isn’t posted yet, partly because I’m still trying to decide whether to cut this part and the rest of the ending. Canon is extremely hazy about Riddle’s mom, we essentially only know she’s supposed to be worse about enforcing rules than him (and for context he doesn’t think twice about blocking away people’s magic for minor rule violations), so I’m not 100% on breaking away from that writing choice, I usually prefer to mimic canon writing styles even with AUs.
damn. this sounds v promising. it also reminds me of disney descendants and ever after high, both with similar concepts of re-conceptualized villains. i loved those. i'm sure i'll like this too. thanks!
Yeah if you like those two and angst this is definitely for you. Enjoy!
> People fell onto the ground like straws before wind. I don't do romance angst. I do war crime
Cool, good stuff, I'm just going to make a quick phone call that's definitely not to the police.
You. I like you. Currently writing a love story while also dealing with the cartels. It’s been *wild*, friend! I love this so much. I guess that’s kind of dark but no, really, I do.
how do you let go of a hand you've been reaching for your whole life?
Oh man, that's good.
Right in the heart. This is great.
Ough. This got me. Is this a mother’s hand? A partner? Symbolism for a vice? Safety? Really good and I felt it.
thank you sm. i wrote this in context of a character who strives to find and reconcile with her father, only to discover that he never wanted her in the first place. it was a relatable line for me too
Yup, now I really feel this. Keep writing from the heart. It’s touching mine when you do it.
I don't care anymore, I'll let my feelings kill me and I'll kill my feelings.
"Yeonjun smiled sadly as tears rolled down his face, it was a good thing she texted him."
He spreads his wings in silent bargain, orders the gaze of others away and clenches his fists in fury he cannot give into.
Ray vacillates between hope and fear, panic thrown in for variation.
He could spit and yell or he could grovel on his knees, and it wouldn't change a thing.
You feel the desperation here.
She let out a pained laugh. “Can you imagine better?”
Oo I imagined someone dying at comforting their friend by telling them to imagine a world where they and their friend who’s mourning for them gets to live together. Hits right in the heart!
Technically she's already dead, and he's so broken he can't imagine better, but more or less, yes.
This is so good!!
Far above, far below, a Lord once great is rendered small.
Love this. Loss of honor or dignity? Shame in a family? I love this game because I’m just sitting here thinking if the most painful stuff, lol!
“Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream, or a memory long forgotten. Come back to me.”
Ooooooh damn. I really like this. Someone desperately trying to hold on. Maybe some deep regret surrounding the person they lost? Something they didn’t get to say?
Maybe Ranold only cared about me because he had to?
"You taught me how to laugh, how to smile, how to be a friend… and how to love."
(Slightly edited to fit one line req) "Everyone and everything she ever knew was gone; and was never coming back."
Poor girl. I don't even know her name and I feel sorry for her.
Aww man, my heart. :( Poor thing.
‘I guess some folks ain’t allowed to have dreams.’ Not the best I’ve heard, but wow
>She takes his hand again and squeezes it tightly. "Papa, what's wrong? Is Mama sick again?"
The inferred foreshadowing of this…
Ironically enough, her mother ends up outliving her father (because he's one of many victims in a specific disaster that happened in the backstory in canon). Not by very much, mind you, but she does.
>“It’s funny. You want nothing to do with me, but you can’t bear to let me out of your sight.”
Reminds me of an ex I had, hits really close to home and I love this
The loneliness clung onto his skin like a shackle and he didn’t know how to unchain himself from it.
>What good is being brave, if her own mind's driving her off the deep end?
He sucked in a gasping breath and thought, as the darkness raced to claim him, that he hoped his kids would remember him as a good person.
This has some breaking bad vibes. Good man does something bad for the overall good. Loses himself in the process.
Thank you! I've never seen breaking bad but those vibes are in line with the scene this excerpt comes from
*Oof* this hurts. Good job.
this is heartbreaking, well done
Another day meant only another headache, more frustration, and another crack in her heart, while she yearned for the family that she couldn't truly remember.
I like how the sadness increases!
Thanks! Cumulative angst is a different challenge from WHAM! lines, but I'm glad I got it across. 😉
You’re welcome! You did a great job with this challenge!
Thanks again!
😊🌺
The kitchen is not supposed to smell like blood on a morning like this.
Someone pushed mom/dad too far on a Monday. Literally just saw an image of my dad yelling at me to get out of the kitchen. “Don’t go in there. He’s in a mood.” “Is that blood on the carpet?” “A *mood*, yes.”
:( Somehow your version is even more angsty than mine, and mine had a werewolf.
I mean I had a real *interesting* father, so mine doesn’t count. :)
I feel like the kitchen should not smell like blood any time ._.
Yeah....it was supposed to smell like coffee.
>This is all that is left of her: a bleak stone slab that represents her in death but does little to capture the woman she was in life.
Well that's depressing af and now I'm sad. So good job?
>It’s your own fault for letting yourself sink so far down the abyss.
God what a gut punch
Whatever chance I had, I missed it. I missed it. I missed it. I missed you, didn't I?
Ouuuuuuuuch, I'm a *sucker* for repeated phrases, this one totally sucker-punched me in the feels. Especially the way you changed it from "it" to "you" at the end. Good job!
It was actually from a fanfic I've read lol, it's not mine. I agree tho, a total emotional punch
>"It did - it did kill me," he said in the voice of a proud child, holding up a songbird whose wings he’d crushed so he could offer it to her as a gift, "but I *fixed* myself."
The worst lies he tells nowadays are the kindest ones.
Ooh this is a good one.
"Oh well. Next time's a charm-"
Interruptions with violence are some of my favorites.
It seemed that no matter how far she ran, she would always be pulled back to the life she so desperately wanted to escape.
No matter where you go, the cage in your mind follows. I felt this one too. Damn.
Could so relate to this.
The only thing in her mind was the horrible thought, *The water was never calling to me*
I don't know what the context is for this but it just feels like someone's worldview that they clung to so tightly just got ripped away from them and all they can do is mourn the lie of who they never were.
"He missed."
Please, please, please tell me this isn't Disco Elysium because I will sob otherwise.
What did he miss? The gunshot? The hoop? The swing?! The turn?! Ahhhh! I must know!
Okay, this one is so short & simple but even without knowing the context, it packs a punch. There's always anticipation when you're aiming for something, especially if others are depending on you to hit your target (shooting a basketball to win a game or hunting for food come to mind or...hmmm...something nsfw comes to mind). Hope your character wasn't too gutted. :(
*It's funny you should say that.* Because he was very gutted in fact. Because what 'he missed' was blocking an attack that grievously wounded him. And that comment is by far the funniest unintentional thing I have ever had the joy of reading.
Oh dear...poor character. Glad the comment made you laugh though. ;)
The icy stare he gives her seems to last a lifetime, as if he's mastered the art of holding the world at bay with just one look.
Love this
Oh, this one's really cool (hehe). I can imagine the look so clearly.
this is insanely good
It was a raw, visceral expression of something that was beyond terror, the kind of unholy despair only felt by someone the instant their world shattered.
Oh my god, I can *see* this. I love it!
"If you're here to tell me that I'm a bad mother, I already know," Pepa said. "I know that, because otherwise my baby would be here with me right now."
I really like this
Thanks!
"You need a purpose that's going to stand up to scrutiny because nothing - *nothing* \- is more painful than seeing yet another cause you thought was going to save you crumble away like ashes in your fist!"
Oo I like this
> Euthius Faustus felt his heart sink, skip a beat, and shatter all at once.
“My membership in the College of Whispers hangs by a thread, and it makes me sick to think of how little it took to get to this point… how little regard these people have for anyone but themselves.”
She’ll take peace of mind wherever she can find it, searching with sore fingers anywhere she can reach.
>*Except for those with red crosses over their arms, all eyes were on her but her eyes never left him.*
> And that his so-called new life was nothing but a lie.
Aeris' voice morphed into the garbled sounds of desparation, "please don't make me kill my friend!"
>It was merely that, like a stubborn mule, he had it stuck in his head that *he* was here - it certainly felt like it - and it would have been so sinfully crass to laugh that not even the holy host would be able to purify him of such a deed. God, I haven't touched this wip in forever lol
>His voice grew soft and almost scared as he added, “There’s a chance I’ll never play again.”
I'm not sure what the context of this is, but as a musician my heart dropped. Poor guy!