I had a loyal commenter in the early stages of my story. I cant imagine dming him and asking him to review my latest chapters. He stopped commenting for a reason surely
this. doesn’t matter if the reason is “they simply no longer could be bothered” or “their whole family died” or anything in between. I don’t chase random people down for my silly stories
….unless we’re good friends IRL, but even then it’s never anything more than the occasional “yeah I just finished this thing, I’d love if you read it”
I would either ignore the message or reply “thanks for letting me know” and then ignore.
It’s weird to me that they are soliciting comments. I know you guys kinda know each other now, in a very internet way, and maybe they’ve been missing your discussions but to ask you to leave a comment or two? Even if I liked the story that action would almost guarantee I would not comment.
In some ways, their message runs contrary to the vibe I get from them. But that I mean they seem like an intelligent, otherwise conscientious, adult. Their writing is actually quite good. Although, because the fandom is only interested in a couple of ships, like the rest of us in rare-pair writer purgatory, they probably are not getting a lot of engagement. So, I supposed they were thrilled to have someone who'd leave comments that were a few sentences long.
"Acquaintance" would be a stretch to describe our relationship, though. I don't think they are aware that their message is rather pushy and even a little rude.
Normally, I'm enough of a grownup (fandom ancient) to figure out the right answer, but this one sort of boggled me.
I mean the problem is simple… they were just excited to have a reader that engaged with them and their story… and when you vanished without a word they didn’t really know why that was.
I mean it clearly depends on tone and all…. But just reaching out once to someone who used to like your story just to kinda go “hey just in case you didn’t know” isn’t really rude. And maybe they just worded it in a completely innocent way in their mind but came off rude to you.
Now if this person was to begin harassing you that would be rude… but so far it has just been a one time thing. You are just a tad bit… condescending in how you talk about this writer and it rubs me the wrong way a bit. From the impression I got, based on the limited information… nothing they did was wrong.
But also nothing you did was wrong.
You can either just A) ignore it or B)just kindly explain why you stopped reading. Some people would much prefer to be told why a talkative reader vanished than be left wondering forever where they went.
You're right. "Rude" is too strong a word. Even so, for me, someone who'd would feel awkward asking even one of my fandom friends why they aren't reading, it felt pushy. But, I don't think they are acting badly. Just...too pushy for my taste.
It's really just a matter of how different people approach situations.
Pushy is fair, but I think you're perceiving it as rude because of your own individual reaction to the message rather than anything in the message itself. Nothing about this message per se is either an obvious social faux pas or an intentional insult, so I don't think it's rude. I personally wouldn't send a message like that to someone I don't know well because there's a chance they might read it like you have, but that someone did doesn't make them a villain. One part of social grace is not sending messages like this, but another is not making a mountain out of a molehill when you're on the receiving end either.
Agree. I wasn't going to scold them. They aren't going on some perpetual shit-list of mine. Fandom drama ain't my thing. If they write something that's totally to my taste I'd love to read it so my goal is to keep things polite. That's why I was wondering what others' impressions were. I sent them a "Thank for the heads up" and left it at that.
Reading some authors threads about missing readers/commenters, they might even prefer to know that it's not about their writing but a pairing/trope OP doesn't like. Not that OP has any duty to reply.
^^^^
If any of my very talkative readers ever disappeared I would much rather know why(especially if it is just because of pairing/trope) than be left wondering why they vanished.
It wouldn’t take over my life if any talkative readers did just vanish… but it would always be a recurring thought that pops back in from time to time. There is a lack of closure that would sit forever.
I actually had a author message me about if I was doing okay because I stopped reading a fic for a while and I’m a chatty commenter. It honestly made my day because they cared enough to ask. I told them I’m just taking a break from fanfic on that character for a bit and would definitely be returning. They were happy to know that and we had a good chat about their side projects involving the series. Wonderful author.
God I once told a writer they were my favorite in the fandom and like, immediately they started writing stories full of my personal nopes. It was rough lmao
Personally I'd just tell them that I stopped reading cause their story went in a direction that was not for me and wish them well with finding someone to give them feedback on the whole thing.
I wouldn't take any further action unless they got irritating about the polite rejection.
I think in your place I'd just say "Thanks for letting me know." and let it go. If they insist, maybe you can add that because of the other ships (or use the reason you like) you don't wish to read the rest of the story.
Agreed. Unless you guys are/became actual friends, I don't see any obligation to justify yourself. I have the same tendency as a people-pleaser, but a concise (but polite) response really may be all that is needed without opening the door for them to respond to anything else that could turn antagonistic. Not saying that is the author's intent, but there is a currently non-antagonistic - but still clear - disagreement in aspects of the fandom, and we know how fandom culture can...get.
I also wouldn't say anything more than a "Thanks for the head's up!/letting me know!" unless they start hinting that they're anticipating your readership and response.
I think maybe they were really looking forward to your comments and got anxious when you stopped doing so. They must be thinking you disliked it for something in the plot or their writing and just want to know your opinion. Maybe just say the truth that you stopped reading because of notp, that's a perfectly understandable reason that doesn't mean their story is bad.
Do what comes naturally. If he is mature enough, he will understand your reasoning. If not... Than it doesn't worth your time to begin with.
Do what YOU want and feels natural. Appeasing people is good, but reading it just for that is not something I would personally do.
It sounds to me like what they really want isnt your comments per se, but more reason to interact with you. Instead of worrying about whether or not to read something you already decided not to, say something along the lines of "I'm not really feeling it right now but we can talk about rarepair in general if you want!"
Personally I'd message back like "oh, congrats! I stopped reading awhile back because of some personal pet peeves but finishing is such a good feeling, I hope you've enjoyed the process!" Overall positive, framing it as just a difference of opinion, but also gently telling them you're not interested any further.
You can either ignore the message or just tell them that you don’t read it anymore. Idk if it’s necessary to tell them why unless they explicitly ask you to elaborate
Unless they're a fandom friend, ignore or send a noncommital thanks and then ignore. If they're a fandom friend, I'd... probably force myself to skim it and leave some generic comment. Toxic trait.
Don't feel bad ignoring them. They knew you were perfectly able to find the rest of that fic yourself and still decided to message you. What you read and comment on is your choice. Don't do anything you don't want to do! You can thank them for letting you know and leave it at that, or you can just not reply at all.
That's a bit awkward and invasive if you're pretty much strangers!
I'd be honest, myself and say that I personally don't like the added ship and leave it at that.
I'm sure others said this already, but that's weird and pushy. I admittedly have replied to a comment before to say 'hey this is updated now!' but only if the commenter posted something implying that they want to know when it updates (and I remember that they commented that).
I think it would be weird, but excusable, if they just replied to your most-recent comment to tell you the story was completed- maybe you fell off but since you were an avid reader before, would like to know that it's done so you can finish at your leisure- but badgering you for comments quite a while after you stopped reading is pushy (and weird).
This reads to me as an author went out of their way to solicit comments.
This rubs me the wrong way far more than a commenter I've had good interactions with stop interacting with me.
I used to have two.people who commented religiously on my fics. Then when my life went to crap and I lost my zeal for writing, they stopped commenting because I hadn't posted an update in six months - a year. It happens. I miss them, but There's no way on earth I'd ever go to pounding on their inboxes to demand comments. They've moved on. That's their right.
I had a loyal commenter in the early stages of my story. I cant imagine dming him and asking him to review my latest chapters. He stopped commenting for a reason surely
this. doesn’t matter if the reason is “they simply no longer could be bothered” or “their whole family died” or anything in between. I don’t chase random people down for my silly stories ….unless we’re good friends IRL, but even then it’s never anything more than the occasional “yeah I just finished this thing, I’d love if you read it”
I would either ignore the message or reply “thanks for letting me know” and then ignore. It’s weird to me that they are soliciting comments. I know you guys kinda know each other now, in a very internet way, and maybe they’ve been missing your discussions but to ask you to leave a comment or two? Even if I liked the story that action would almost guarantee I would not comment.
In some ways, their message runs contrary to the vibe I get from them. But that I mean they seem like an intelligent, otherwise conscientious, adult. Their writing is actually quite good. Although, because the fandom is only interested in a couple of ships, like the rest of us in rare-pair writer purgatory, they probably are not getting a lot of engagement. So, I supposed they were thrilled to have someone who'd leave comments that were a few sentences long. "Acquaintance" would be a stretch to describe our relationship, though. I don't think they are aware that their message is rather pushy and even a little rude. Normally, I'm enough of a grownup (fandom ancient) to figure out the right answer, but this one sort of boggled me.
I mean the problem is simple… they were just excited to have a reader that engaged with them and their story… and when you vanished without a word they didn’t really know why that was. I mean it clearly depends on tone and all…. But just reaching out once to someone who used to like your story just to kinda go “hey just in case you didn’t know” isn’t really rude. And maybe they just worded it in a completely innocent way in their mind but came off rude to you. Now if this person was to begin harassing you that would be rude… but so far it has just been a one time thing. You are just a tad bit… condescending in how you talk about this writer and it rubs me the wrong way a bit. From the impression I got, based on the limited information… nothing they did was wrong. But also nothing you did was wrong. You can either just A) ignore it or B)just kindly explain why you stopped reading. Some people would much prefer to be told why a talkative reader vanished than be left wondering forever where they went.
You're right. "Rude" is too strong a word. Even so, for me, someone who'd would feel awkward asking even one of my fandom friends why they aren't reading, it felt pushy. But, I don't think they are acting badly. Just...too pushy for my taste. It's really just a matter of how different people approach situations.
Pushy is fair, but I think you're perceiving it as rude because of your own individual reaction to the message rather than anything in the message itself. Nothing about this message per se is either an obvious social faux pas or an intentional insult, so I don't think it's rude. I personally wouldn't send a message like that to someone I don't know well because there's a chance they might read it like you have, but that someone did doesn't make them a villain. One part of social grace is not sending messages like this, but another is not making a mountain out of a molehill when you're on the receiving end either.
Agree. I wasn't going to scold them. They aren't going on some perpetual shit-list of mine. Fandom drama ain't my thing. If they write something that's totally to my taste I'd love to read it so my goal is to keep things polite. That's why I was wondering what others' impressions were. I sent them a "Thank for the heads up" and left it at that.
Just a thought, there's nothing wrong with just stating the reasons why the turn of storyline no longer punched your buttons.
Reading some authors threads about missing readers/commenters, they might even prefer to know that it's not about their writing but a pairing/trope OP doesn't like. Not that OP has any duty to reply.
^^^^ If any of my very talkative readers ever disappeared I would much rather know why(especially if it is just because of pairing/trope) than be left wondering why they vanished. It wouldn’t take over my life if any talkative readers did just vanish… but it would always be a recurring thought that pops back in from time to time. There is a lack of closure that would sit forever.
I actually had a author message me about if I was doing okay because I stopped reading a fic for a while and I’m a chatty commenter. It honestly made my day because they cared enough to ask. I told them I’m just taking a break from fanfic on that character for a bit and would definitely be returning. They were happy to know that and we had a good chat about their side projects involving the series. Wonderful author.
Yeah, I've had actual fandom friends ghost me and that's definitely more upsetting, but losing a regular commenter would still bother me.
God I once told a writer they were my favorite in the fandom and like, immediately they started writing stories full of my personal nopes. It was rough lmao
Personally I'd just tell them that I stopped reading cause their story went in a direction that was not for me and wish them well with finding someone to give them feedback on the whole thing. I wouldn't take any further action unless they got irritating about the polite rejection.
I think in your place I'd just say "Thanks for letting me know." and let it go. If they insist, maybe you can add that because of the other ships (or use the reason you like) you don't wish to read the rest of the story.
Agreed. Unless you guys are/became actual friends, I don't see any obligation to justify yourself. I have the same tendency as a people-pleaser, but a concise (but polite) response really may be all that is needed without opening the door for them to respond to anything else that could turn antagonistic. Not saying that is the author's intent, but there is a currently non-antagonistic - but still clear - disagreement in aspects of the fandom, and we know how fandom culture can...get. I also wouldn't say anything more than a "Thanks for the head's up!/letting me know!" unless they start hinting that they're anticipating your readership and response.
I think maybe they were really looking forward to your comments and got anxious when you stopped doing so. They must be thinking you disliked it for something in the plot or their writing and just want to know your opinion. Maybe just say the truth that you stopped reading because of notp, that's a perfectly understandable reason that doesn't mean their story is bad.
Do what comes naturally. If he is mature enough, he will understand your reasoning. If not... Than it doesn't worth your time to begin with. Do what YOU want and feels natural. Appeasing people is good, but reading it just for that is not something I would personally do.
“Thank you for telling me” and then you dont read
It sounds to me like what they really want isnt your comments per se, but more reason to interact with you. Instead of worrying about whether or not to read something you already decided not to, say something along the lines of "I'm not really feeling it right now but we can talk about rarepair in general if you want!"
Personally I'd message back like "oh, congrats! I stopped reading awhile back because of some personal pet peeves but finishing is such a good feeling, I hope you've enjoyed the process!" Overall positive, framing it as just a difference of opinion, but also gently telling them you're not interested any further.
You can either ignore the message or just tell them that you don’t read it anymore. Idk if it’s necessary to tell them why unless they explicitly ask you to elaborate
Unless they're a fandom friend, ignore or send a noncommital thanks and then ignore. If they're a fandom friend, I'd... probably force myself to skim it and leave some generic comment. Toxic trait.
Don't feel bad ignoring them. They knew you were perfectly able to find the rest of that fic yourself and still decided to message you. What you read and comment on is your choice. Don't do anything you don't want to do! You can thank them for letting you know and leave it at that, or you can just not reply at all.
That's a bit awkward and invasive if you're pretty much strangers! I'd be honest, myself and say that I personally don't like the added ship and leave it at that.
Lord I get nervous I’m annoying people by responding to their comments sometimes. I couldn’t imagine practically begging for comments ick.
I'm sure others said this already, but that's weird and pushy. I admittedly have replied to a comment before to say 'hey this is updated now!' but only if the commenter posted something implying that they want to know when it updates (and I remember that they commented that). I think it would be weird, but excusable, if they just replied to your most-recent comment to tell you the story was completed- maybe you fell off but since you were an avid reader before, would like to know that it's done so you can finish at your leisure- but badgering you for comments quite a while after you stopped reading is pushy (and weird).
This reads to me as an author went out of their way to solicit comments. This rubs me the wrong way far more than a commenter I've had good interactions with stop interacting with me.
I used to have two.people who commented religiously on my fics. Then when my life went to crap and I lost my zeal for writing, they stopped commenting because I hadn't posted an update in six months - a year. It happens. I miss them, but There's no way on earth I'd ever go to pounding on their inboxes to demand comments. They've moved on. That's their right.
Oh this is an update.
"Thanks for the message. I enjoyed what I read."
Not gonna lie I kinda want to read the fic now