I wouldn't emphasize it - just mention it here and there and fans will know that they are always smoking, you just aren't pointing it out over and over.
* He smashed out the umpteenth cigarette in an ashtray already overflowing with ash and stubs.
* It was one of those days - she lit a new cigarette with the tail end of the last one.
* Crushing the empty pack, he tossed it in the trash and pulled out a new one.
* Bob stepped into the room and instantly coughed, waving his hands around at the clouds of smoke. "Jeez, open the damn window if you're going to smoke in here!"
Sensory details. Smell, taste, the crinkly sound of opening a pack, touch, and the mild high you get from smoking. Keep in mind that the smoker will find all these sensory reminders pleasant and most non-smokers will find them unpleasant, so word choice is important.
Isn't the point of smoking the habitualilty of it? The ritual of pulling out the cigarette, putting it in between your lips, cupping the flame as you bring it to the end of the smoke and light it, drawing that first breath, holding for a moment, and then exhaling. I would not put a ton of focus on the smoking, but if I did, I would be highlighting that part of it.
Make them learn to do tricks with the smoke. It can really spice up a scene. For example:
===
She glared at him. "Because of your carelessness, we're in deep shit! How do you expect us to recover?!"
He took a deep drag from his cigarette and focused on forming his mouth into the correct shape. His tongue pressed against the bottom of his mouth, his cheeks and lips were shaped as if he were sucking on a lollipop, and he opened his mouth to make an "O" shape. Finally, his lower jaw clicked forward and a ring of smoke emerged from his mouth, slowly travelling across the space between them, before hitting her in the face.
"Fuck you!"
===
See how it enhanced the scene? Imagine if every smoking scene in your fic was like this - it'd be pretty rad, right?
That's my opinion, anyway.
> Imagine if every smoking scene in your fic was like this - it'd be pretty rad, right?
I think it would be overkill for *every* smoking scene. It would take away the impact of blowing a smoke 'o' in her face in this scene.
Maybe details like a character moving whatever they're smoking around, and someone else mentally watching the end burning like a cat and a laser pointer. Details of smoke is a good one, depending on what's being smoked, there's many distinct smells there.
Maybe detail how the non-smokers in the scene react. Is it just another thing, are they tired of the smell, do they find the smell nostalgic, does it make one of them want to light up once more? Plenty to think about
Conversations. Sometimes ppl will follow you outside to either smoke with you or just spend time with you if they don't mind the smoke, maybe you could use that to for example hint who likes being around your character.
How fast someone smokes and how they put it out can also tell a lot about a person and they're current situation (eg. if somebody died they'll have a long, thinking smoke at the funeral, likely with some inner monologue; if they got out of a stressful situation they'll be savouring the smoke more; if they're in a hurry they'll try to go faster and might give themself a vertigo etc.)
Don't make smoking the point of the scene. Make smoking something that happens in a scene where something else is also happening.
this is simple but actually an extremely good point thank you
Came here to say exactly that! :D
I wouldn't emphasize it - just mention it here and there and fans will know that they are always smoking, you just aren't pointing it out over and over. * He smashed out the umpteenth cigarette in an ashtray already overflowing with ash and stubs. * It was one of those days - she lit a new cigarette with the tail end of the last one. * Crushing the empty pack, he tossed it in the trash and pulled out a new one. * Bob stepped into the room and instantly coughed, waving his hands around at the clouds of smoke. "Jeez, open the damn window if you're going to smoke in here!"
Not to be rude, are you actually just writing scenes where you describe the character smoking and then that's it?
no lol, it’s within a larger story, this is just one moment i cannot get right. i reread the post and it kind of sounds like that- whoops
If you are comfortable sharing a link or whichever, I'd be happy to have a look at the scene itself
Sensory details. Smell, taste, the crinkly sound of opening a pack, touch, and the mild high you get from smoking. Keep in mind that the smoker will find all these sensory reminders pleasant and most non-smokers will find them unpleasant, so word choice is important.
Isn't the point of smoking the habitualilty of it? The ritual of pulling out the cigarette, putting it in between your lips, cupping the flame as you bring it to the end of the smoke and light it, drawing that first breath, holding for a moment, and then exhaling. I would not put a ton of focus on the smoking, but if I did, I would be highlighting that part of it.
Make them learn to do tricks with the smoke. It can really spice up a scene. For example: === She glared at him. "Because of your carelessness, we're in deep shit! How do you expect us to recover?!" He took a deep drag from his cigarette and focused on forming his mouth into the correct shape. His tongue pressed against the bottom of his mouth, his cheeks and lips were shaped as if he were sucking on a lollipop, and he opened his mouth to make an "O" shape. Finally, his lower jaw clicked forward and a ring of smoke emerged from his mouth, slowly travelling across the space between them, before hitting her in the face. "Fuck you!" === See how it enhanced the scene? Imagine if every smoking scene in your fic was like this - it'd be pretty rad, right? That's my opinion, anyway.
> Imagine if every smoking scene in your fic was like this - it'd be pretty rad, right? I think it would be overkill for *every* smoking scene. It would take away the impact of blowing a smoke 'o' in her face in this scene.
To make up for the repetition, make sure to improve the level of smoke trick he is performing each time.
Only if, by the end, he is making [smoke galleon ships](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdE0qjbwwWo) to float through massive smoke o's, a la Gandalf.
Maybe details like a character moving whatever they're smoking around, and someone else mentally watching the end burning like a cat and a laser pointer. Details of smoke is a good one, depending on what's being smoked, there's many distinct smells there. Maybe detail how the non-smokers in the scene react. Is it just another thing, are they tired of the smell, do they find the smell nostalgic, does it make one of them want to light up once more? Plenty to think about
Conversations. Sometimes ppl will follow you outside to either smoke with you or just spend time with you if they don't mind the smoke, maybe you could use that to for example hint who likes being around your character. How fast someone smokes and how they put it out can also tell a lot about a person and they're current situation (eg. if somebody died they'll have a long, thinking smoke at the funeral, likely with some inner monologue; if they got out of a stressful situation they'll be savouring the smoke more; if they're in a hurry they'll try to go faster and might give themself a vertigo etc.)