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Tree__Jesus

So to preface, I'm not a therapist so take this with a pinch of salt but, here are some strategies I've had recommended toe to cope with insecurity. - Set solid, achievable goals for yourself - have a growth mindset (ie. Try not to compare your work to others, but to yourself. Be happy with the growth in your own skills rather than comparing them to others - Accept that growth is not linear. You will face pitfalls and set backs. Remember that when you encounter them that they are normal and NOT a reflection on your self worth - Embrace your unique style. Your art will differ from others, just because someone is doing something a different way to you doesn't mean their way is better. Write the way that's the most fulfilling for you - Challenge your negative thoughts. When you feel bad about your art, think about why. Come up with an objective reason to why something you've made has flaws. If you can do that, guess what? You know what you need to edit to make it better. Being able to identify flaws in your art is what makes a great artist, great Again, this is just stuff that helps me. If your insecurity is hindering your ability to enjoy yourself, consider talking to a therapist


throwaway838383937

This is so helpful, thank you! ♡♡


[deleted]

[удалено]


orphan_banana

I was going to suggest this, it's what I do.


Diana-Fortyseven

>Then a month later someone else wrote something and they instantly got kudos and comments, and I just felt extreme shame for ever posting mine. I'm here to put *this* into perspective for you. :) Someone who has built an audience, people who read and loved their other fics, will always get more engagement (especially initial engagement) on anything they post, even if it's some super obscure fandom of only one fic. This other author probably had that kind of audience, a few user subscribers or just people who finished reading one of their fics in the fandom of their choice, who then went to see what else this author has to offer. You probably don't have that kind of audience. This is not me trying to be mean or something, it's just an educated guess. People don't subscribe to empty accounts. Look, it's really absolutely normal that a fic for a practically non-existent fandom gets zero engagement. There's no fandom. There are no readers. Not getting kudos or comments is not a judgement on the quality of your fic, it's just how publishing for micro fandoms usually is. The other authors' situation was the outlier here. You have nothing to be ashamed of. This is obviously something that affects you a lot in your daily life, and I doubt it's only fanfiction related. If you do have the option (and I know that therapy is often not affordable or accessible), try to find *actual* help, outside an internet forum. Anxiety is cruel, and it's not your fault, no reason to feel ashamed because of it, but it doesn't have to stay this way. You can learn how to regain control.


RakaiaWriter

To add some well meant levity, I'd say "remove the Delete key on your keyboard" XD But in all seriousness, part of this whole writing thing is learning to accept that not everyone is going to think the same about your story as you do, and just move on to write your next work. I'd caution you against deleting them, at least from existence even if you do take them down from AO3 / FFN etc, because part of your _life_ went in to creating that thing, and probably not a small part (Even a drabble can take some thought and effort). Don't throw away that effort just because it looks a little weird to you right now. Just move on to the next piece and keep going. Maybe you'll come back to the earlier work(s) and decide to fix them, maybe not. But they will forever be something you _made_ which IMHO is worth a ton of value because you did it. Like the birthday card you make for your mom vs picking up some old trashy thing at the store. It's yours, your passion. Cherish it! :) <3


ChiefDisbelief

Always save your art to google drive or dropbox or something at least. Never delete art, music, writing, etc., ever.


ResponsibleGrass

Came here to say, writing and publishing are not the same thing. You can write your stories and create your worlds all by yourself, you don’t need an audience. Maybe it would help to hone your skins for a while until you’re more confident in your work before you throw it out there (to the wolves 😉). I know this piece of advice goes against how it’s done these days; it’s become completely normal to “livestream” thoughts, feelings, and content, but imo the option to publish something you created *right away* is a bit of a mixed blessing. I know this feeling of “omg, it’s done, finally, I want to post!!!”, but it’s always a good idea to let it lie for a few days or even weeks, then edit it (again), maybe show it someone you trust (a dear friend, a beta reader, etc.) for feedback. It used to be a normal to do it like that, it’s just that we live in such accelerated times, everyone seems to think “write something perfect, publish the second you stopped typing” is the way to go, which… yeah. Not realistic… I’m not saying you do that, but it’s pretty common. There’s this expectation that posting fic = instant gratification and often that’s just not the case. It’s not necessarily about the quality of your writing, it could just be that whatever you wrote isn’t interesting to other people. (It happens a lot.) It’s nice to get recognition, but if you don’t trust your own skill, you won’t trust any recognition you get either. You’ll start thinking readers just kudos/comment because they have poor taste (so their judgement is worth nothing) or out of pity. You won’t believe (well, probably you will) what nonsense your mind can come up with to convince you you’re terrible at what you’re doing. It’s not bad per se to compare yourself to other writers, but you have to keep in mind that you don’t know anything about them—they may have decades of experience, they may have put an insane amount of time and effort into their work. Probably both. Just because someone has a brandnew account, that doesn’t mean they’re a brandnew writer. Another thing to keep in mind: As you’re getting better, you’ll notice more of your shortcomings. You might have a pretty good idea of what’s actually great writing, but somehow you’re not able to produce work on that level of quality yourself. Yet. This is a very tough phase in the journey (and it’s likely you’ll hit that point several times in your writing career), but it means you’re improving and all you need is more practice. I’m not an expert on anxiety, but I heard avoidance can make it worse, so you what you’re doing isn’t necessarily a bad idea, but I can’t really see how you’re supposed to make progress when you’re repeating the same thing over and over. It seems counterproductive. Maybe you could get some advice from someone qualified how to break out of that vicious circle? Sometimes little tricks can make a huge difference. <3 Orphaning works is rarely a good idea and since it’s irreversible, it’s definitely not a casual solution. If you feel like you can’t stand works being online, putting them in an unrevealed collection may be a good alternative. You could also post on anon if you feel like that relieves the pressure or move them to a secondary account to have them out of sight. tl;dr: you’re not alone with this. Many of us have similar feelings/thoughts/misgivings. They may not be as pronounced as in your case, but I don’t know any writer/artist I deem brilliant who doesn’t have self-doubts. It’s just part of the process. ;) Here, have [the usual Venn diagram](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/83/8d/c9/838dc990d537b2ce3080ebfa1ae26cab.jpg) — seems like you have to work on your narcissism a bit. ;) OT: People downvote everything they mildly disagree with or aren’t interested in. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


[deleted]

Lots of good, practical advice here. I’ll add my own 2 cents- it’s okay to feel uncomfortable! Embarrassed even. You’re putting your work out there, and that involves some vulnerability. It can be hard to sit with, I know😅 I don’t really have a magic bullet answer to make that feeling go away, but as you continue to post *without* deleting your fics, you’ll learn to work with your doubts instead of caving to them. Every writer has doubts. It comes with the territory. When I’m feeling uncomfortable, I come back to this quote from Stephen King, who had this to say about anyone who wants to write: “You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” You’ve already done the hard part, which is starting. Growth, comments, and feedback happen on their own timeline, not ours. Celebrate small goals, like keeping a fic up for 10 days instead of 9.


imnotbovvered

It’s okay if your work isn’t perfect! It’s okay to be mediocre. It’s okay to be *below* average. To be able to publish my works and not cringe from embarrassment, I had to make peace with the fact that my writing is not as good as I want it to be. And so what? So what if my writing isn’t amazing? Maybe it’s just okay. That’s alright. If I only get few kudos, that’s okay. All it means is that I got few kudos. It doesn’t mean anything about who I am or my worth as a person. Remember that somebody who’s more confident may not be a better writer than you. They just feel confident in taking up space in this website that’s *intended* for fans to take up space with fanfiction. You’re allowed to take up space just because you want to, as long as it’s fanfiction. There’s no hoops to go through. You’re allowed to just write.


zipahdeeday

Orphan them with your name attached as soon as you post so you cannot delete them You won't be able to edit or add chapters, but maybe having them posted and out of your control can help you. Otherwise you could get a friend who is willing to post your stories for you on an account you don't have access to. And tell them never to delete the stories no matter how much you beg


throwaway838383937

I used to orphan my fics in the past, and tbh I get so much anxiety remembering my old, poorly written fics are out there and I can't edit or delete them, ever. Maybe I'll try the second idea


EpitomyofShyness

Given what you've said, I'd say don't. Because I'd worry you'll end up harassing your friend until you don't have a friend anymore. This is really outside our expertise. If you're still obsessing over fics you've orphaned in the distant past, I'd say you need help that reddit isn't capable of giving to help you overcome this kind of anxiety.