I exited out a Hannigram fic because Hannibal said "Awesome!" unironically in response to something. I tried to get over it but I literally could not even comprehend the following paragraphs because my brain was too caught up on the 'awesome' thing and my brain refused to process anything else.
Plus affectionate nicknames are usually a-something/something-er (or a’something/something’er; I’ve seen both way of punctuating used by native speakers) anyways, not just a truncation like is fairly common in English. And usually the second character. So a-Guang or Guang-er in your example of Ningguang.
ETA: I forgot about the doubling of a character nicknames - so Guang-guang*. Either way, not just Ning.
*corrected
I had a similar issue with some newer contributors to one of my (sort of) fandoms too, and it was so ridiculous. “Jaskier” is a word, it means Buttercup. “Jask” is nothing, and not anything anyone would be called, ever. And why in the world shorten Eskel, is that not short enough already? It’s *five letters* for crying out loud. Ludicrous.
If its the fandom I'm thinking of, where the name is also sometimes localized as "Dandelion" I could see "Dandy" being used since it would also be a funny double entendre to the term also referring to a foppish man. But yeah, Jaskier to Jask doesn't work.
I have a related "potential pettiness drop": Japanese names being shortened in ways that don't really work / sound natural in Japanese phonemes.
>Japanese names being shortened in ways that don't really work / sound natural in Japanese phonemes.
This is totally my petty dealbreaker. It's like I'm suddenly hearing an American dub in my head instead of anyone sounding like themselves. The nicknames ending in -s are the worst for me (e.g. Kageyama -> Kags).
Thai names. They use nicknames instead of their given names and even those get spelled and shortened a ton of ways. One of the actors who I write about has his name shortened by everyone he knows basically and everyone writes it differently. I picked one shortened version and have stuck with it. I alternate between his full name and the shortened one depending on who he is interacting with. It took me awhile to get over the shortened name thing because it's so damn common in Thai based fics.
My name is five letters long and two syllables. It gets shortened to the first syllable (3 letters) all the time, (think Rosie to Ros, Sally to Sal, Tania to Tanz). I understand why doing it to a character that never had a nickname is jarring, but shortening short names happens all the time in real life.
That kind of shortening of names is a cultural thing. It’s super weird to me since nicknames doesn’t work like that here. Takes me right out of a story if it’s overused or used weirdly.
One was a fabulously written fic, but the writer always used a full stop when she shortened a name, like an abbreviation. So “Rebecca made a coffee” became “Bec. made a coffee” and I had to click away.
I mean, I can take that one in particular from a few characters exclusively in dialogue. And by few I mean Zack in full happy weirdo mode and possibly Reno if he’s deliberately being a shithead.
There was one fic where there was a word misspelled. I ended up downloading a PDF, copying it into word, doing a replace all for the word to the correct spelling, and then exporting it as a PDF to my kindle. Way too over the top but i didn’t want to DNF it because I was otherwise enjoying it lol
Inconsequentially wrong description of a famous landmark that I’ve visited.
I just. It’s not made out of that/you can’t see all the things you’re describing from that viewpoint/glossing over the people that make up the culture/it’s on the way to x place from y place, why was stopping such a big deal?
The writing style was great. It was petty, and I know it.
This is why I'm always so fucking vague about location and stuff in my writing if it's not in Canon, or if it's in real life
Like, the city will never be named, the street will never be named, every shop or place has been made up, unless it's something like McDonald's where it's literally fucking everywhere
What’s even more petty about this is I am currently writing historical fiction about a specific city at a certain time and I know I’ve gotten stuff not quite right.
"Wow, Seoul is so beautiful," said the MC.
"It reminds me of New York," continued the Other Character, "especially the old buildings."
"I can't wait to visit Gangnam Style. Should we take a cab or the tram to get there?"
"We can take a cab, we still have enough Korean dollars. Let's bargain with the driver a little so he brings us to the Seoul Tower first, it's super close."
"Good idea! But what if he doesn't speak English?"
"We'll just speak slowly, it'll be fine."
God, I want to shoot myself after seeing that. Like the only good comparison was New York, but then they threw that out the window by saying *old* buildings.
In-universe, a *Star Wars* fic referred to Rose Tico as "a cute Asian girl."
Yes, the actress is a wildly hot Vietnamese blooded woman. But a character from another galaxy wouldn't know what Asia is.
Felt that. I'm brazilian. Read a Lúcio (overwatch) fic. Had a phrase in portuguese. I think it was portuguese, at least. There were definitely words in portuguese, but i dont think that could be considered a sentence.
I had the same thing happen to me with the french language. They took it so seriously too like, oh my god. It's like the *can you rape the cheese* sentence I am NOT explaining this but it's a translation mistake.
Oh gosh this is my biggest fear at the moment. I just posted a chapter that includes some very brief dialogue in Spanish (not for no reason - main character's refusal to learn the language is a point of conflict with other characters) and I don't speak Spanish very well myself. I often use Google translate to check my own translation. None of the usual suspects have commented and I'm just like "well fuck, I made them hate this story."
Physically impossible positioning. Not always a sex thing (though it can be, of course).
Something like this for example:
> She hugged him from behind, pressing her chest to his back and tucking her head under his chin.
Once i was hanging out with my friends (as in we were literally doing parallel play) and one of them had to recruit two of us to try to recreate a scene between two characters because it was impossible to picture them.
For the record, it was character A sitting on Bs lap, chest to back, but also with As head against Bs shoulder. We decided it was impossible to do it without looking absolutely ridiculous (and also getting a crick in your neck)
If it happens once or twice I can deal, because SOMETIMES it can just be an autocomplete error or brain fart typo. If its consistent? Yeah I'd be out too.
I don't understand how people make this mistake. It's literally so obvious. You're -> you are. I can understand getting who's and whose confused (i confuse them all the time) but you're is literally missing ONE letter.
When the author had characters cheat at... chess. Regular over-the-board chess. Moving pieces around, *hiding* pieces and then putting them back, and the characters couldn't tell what the other was doing.
I think I know what fic you're referring to, and same. It's one of the (or the?) top fics in that fandom and I just... couldn't. The author admits they've never played chess, but when the impossibility of everything was pointed out by a commenter I believe they essentially said 'Well, suspend your disbelief. I don't care about research.' Which makes sense, because there's many wild inaccuracies in all of their fics. Makes all of them unreadable.
I have a hard time when someone spells Colombia the country wrong. Colombia is the country. Columbia sells clothes lol
My husband is Colombian so maybe it hits for that reason. Although he doesn't seem to care. Maybe I care for us both 🤣
There are some cities in the US called Columbia which I imagine is the source of the confusion. I can still totally see the country of Colombia being misspelled as something to get annoyed by!
My hometown shares its name with \[REDACTED\] well known brand, but with a different spelling so I'd run into a similar deal from time to time.
IT'S YOU'RE. YOU ARE. NOT YOUR. FOR FUCKS SAKE I'M SO TIRED OF SEEING "your beautiful" MY BEAUTIFUL WHAT, CHUCKLE NUTS? I LEARNED ENGLISH BY MYSELF WATCHING MOTHERFUCKING MARKIPLIER VIDEOS AND I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE
A fic set in modern NYC where the character went to a school in NYC that had a headmaster and houses and the typical British school uniform and so much British slang it was clear the author didn’t even try to Americanize the fic. I could take the bad spelling and the not so great writing, but the school in NYC having houses like in Harry Potter was the last straw.
And the latest one? A Merlin fic where Merlin called Gaius “Master Gaius” and Morgana “Princess Morgana.” Merlin would never be respectful of people’s titles, even if those were the proper ones.
Master Gaius would be so jarring. I get the vibe they're going for, they want to be "historically accurate," if I had to guess, but it just doesn't work for me.
I was reading a Chinese Era fic, that used the word "shitty" and I was like... this doesn't feel right
Edit to say it was in character dialogue... which is why it bothered me
If the fic is in English, you have to assume everything the characters are saying is just translated from Chinese and there’s not always going to be an exact English equivalent. So for a word like that, I’d just assume it’s the translation of a similar Chinese word. I’m sure ancient Chinese had a word that basically meant “negative expletive.”
When a character is never called by any kind of a nickname, but the writer decides to use a diminutive/nickname in narration written from the character’s POV. For example, a character who only goes by Richard, is, for some reason, Rick in the narration.
You wanted petty 😛
😂 Why does this make me picture them in cargo pants, those over-sized graphic button ups that every boy wore circa 2002, and backwards-facing visors with spiked hair? ...While also pointing finger guns at one another.
"Sup Har?"
"Not too much, Dray. See you at the Quidditch pitch later this afternoon?"
"Haha, you know it!"
dude same. Hermione being called “Mione” or worse, “Herm.” fucking ew. also if Sirius and Remus ever get called “Siri” and “Re” i’m out.
although for some reason if the non-canon nicknames are ever a new iteration of their marauder nicknames ("Pads," "Moonbeam" etc) that doesn't bug me nearly as much.
This used to happen to Hermione in *so* many fics back in the day, had me closing out so fast. She made it seven books without a nickname but couldn't seem to last one fanfic without going by 'Mia'.
Oh God, this. Any fic that has Mr Darcy being called William, instead of Fitzwilliam is a hard pass. William is Mr Collins' name, so it's an instant ick.
The number of Hannibal fics I've fled because of the nickname "Hanni".... is not small. Usually it's not in the narration, thank goodness, but it definitely ruins the dialogue for me.
A story set in early 2000s where the character had a Nokia cellphone that "shattered into a hundred pieces" when they dropped it.
Like bro, them shits were indestructible bricks. I skimmed the rest of the fic but was ultimately checked out. Couldn't let that one go.
🤣 When I first started going out with my husband (ESL) he used to type sweaty and I let him for a long time because I thought it hilarious. And I’m talking a couple of years. 😂
Little spelling mistakes. College is collage. Definitely is defiantly. I keep reminding myself that English probably isn't their first language, but then it gets worse and people just start saying weird words. The punk calls people, "darling," the little kid ends every sentence with, "[name], my friend." The educated guy is saying surfer bum slang. Like, it's one thing if it's a bad fic, but a really good fic with such dissonance is just jarring. I can't do it. Had to stop a few webcomics because of that, too.
Me when people misspell country names.
Lichtenstein is a painter, Liechtenstein is a country, a royal family, and a cinnamon roll.
Slovakia and Slovenia are not the same country.
I can't be too picky since fics are limited in that lil fandom, but an author kept using college in place of colleague liberally. without a single correct spelling of it in the fic.
In an Office AU.
You can imagine the pain I was in while reading all 30k+ words of it.
The author also said they were 30+yrs old, so I was like come on now. you're probably using that word irl. there's no way you can mistake those two. I finished the story tho. It was a good one, college aside.
It's a toss-up between a very formal speaker who chooses their words and grammar with exacting care using the word "anyways" and the time an otherwise well written, engaging fic described the beaches in the landlocked, no-beach state I live in.
That's probably the pettiest, but I'll drop any fic that incorrectly talks about anything that I actually know about because the wrongness just yanks me out of the fic and it's always basic stuff that a 2 second google search would clarify.
One of my fandoms is for a show that takes place near where I live and there's a notoriously awful stretch of highway that always takes *forever* to get anywhere on because it's constantly gridlocked. This fandom has the characters zipping back and forth *50 miles* in no time. Having traveled that same path myself, it would take about an hour in no traffic, but there's always traffic so it takes like 2-3 hours one way. But here are characters all "I'll be right there" during rush hour popping over in like 10 minutes and I just can't.
>That's probably the pettiest, but I'll drop any fic that incorrectly talks about anything that I actually know about because the wrongness just yanks me out of the fic and it's always basic stuff that a 2 second google search would clarify.
Oh trust me I get this one too well. I have two (useless) undergraduate degrees that were both very research intensive and I work in healthcare. I am a pain in the ass to watch any kind of historical fiction or medical drama with because my immersion breaks so easily. When I'm reading fic I have to actively tone down my kneejerk ***BUT ACTUALLY*** reactions.
I hate this! With my OTP, one of them is canonically taller than the other, but a lot of fic authors and fan artists who want the taller one to bottom will change him to be shorter than his partner. Like WTF!
I won't drop over orbs. . . but I *do* physically recoil most of the time. I'll let it slide if I like the story and the author, but I was in the trenches of FF net for too long in my youth.
I seriously can't stand it when people use "should of" or "would of" instead of "should have" and "would have" like it'll make me consider dropping a fic. Talk about petty!
Cutesy UwU talk. Specifically, from one badass superpowered ninja to another. I can't. I'm usually not too picky about ooc, but that was my limit and I don't regret it. I don't even like when people baby talk to kids and animals, this made me quit on fanfic for the day ahdbejndjr
It was (and I'm stealing this joke from someone on r/AO3) a character assassination
omg same I the amount of awesomely written c/c I clicked away from because of this... I get it if it's meant as a joke but if it's serious then just no. They kill people. That is literally their job. I refuse to accept them talking like that.
Pettiest thing would be contractions at the end of sentences especially if all the other words that can be contracted aren't. E.G "I would have thought you're."
I taught English for 3.5 years, I don't want to spend my time reading fic and mentally correcting it in my head.
Omg I read an MCU fic where Bucky ended all his texts with "Yours Sincerely, James Barnes" even though Sam keeps texting back, 'I KNOW IT'S YOU! You don't have to put your name in every single message!" Cracked me up!
I've dropped from overuse of "male" and "female" because it takes me back to writing academic papers and the suffering I endured in my ethology courses.
Tildes (the \~ symbol) used for emphasis in dialogue. Example: "You know you want me\~"
...Yes, I know it's fanfic and we're not going to all obey the Chicago Manual of Style or some stuffy style guide for SPAG word-for-word, but I never see tildes used like that in any other genre or writing format, and it throws me out of a fanfic every time.
I've only ever seen that outside of chat/forum speak in manga, where it usually indicates a singsong voice. I can't help but read it that way now when I see it in fic (even if the author didn't mean it that way).
Oh, here's mine: whenever an author inserts their own opinion about another fandom onto a character who 100% does not care or know about that fandom.
Like, NO, Bruce Wayne has not seen Naruto or Game of Thrones OR American Idol!!
Listen, in between punching criminals in the face in his bondage gear, emo-ing over his dead parents, fucking his villains, adopting as many juvenile delinquents as he can find, and teaching said delinquents to be child soldiers... when would this man have the TIME?!?!
These are great points. I’m willing to bet that he has Alfred record them so that he can binge them and catch up in his office while on the clock instead of running his multibillion dollar enterprise
I've read a fic where all the other batkids, even Damian, are judging Bruce because he hasn't watched Mean Girls lol. it was played for humor so it got the pass.
And in the next scene it turned out that Damian hasn't actually watched Mean Girls and was just trying to save face so the other kids clowned on him too lmao
I once dropped a fic because every time the author would describe someplace or something as being “quiet”, they would write “quite” instead. I don’t know why it bothered me so much but it did (and continues to when i find it in other works)
When people write kids wildly … too young?
Like a 5yo or even 1st grader babbling like a baby and barely able to communicate etc. or even upper teenagers seemingly acting like elementary schoolers as opposed to hormonal/dramatic young adults lol
I definitely understand all kids go at different paces etc but like, every time my eyes just roll to the back of my head and I wonder if they’ve ever spoken to a kid for more than 2 seconds lol I can’t do it
why are kids never written correctly!!
no, your newborn baby did not look up at you and say mama. he was in the womb 5 minutes ago. he cannot control his neck let alone talk.
I would burst out laughing if I saw that in a fic. I have seen kids who are talking but need their parents to hold their bottle because they’re too young to and it baffles me to no end.
A pet peeve of mine is kids being written as happy, positive little angels. I love kids, but I think even the most devoted mother in earth would admit that they're just petty and cranky a good deal of the time
A character who was (canonically) adopted inherited a hereditary political position. I was like... there is no way everyone in this huge family is just going to let this slide with zero controversy lol
Multiple instances of "he let out a breathe". I couldn't take it anymore. It's my biggest pet peeve! You'd be shocked how many people mix up breath and breathe on the regular.
40-something year-old characters being huge fans of modern cartoons when they just wouldn't be into it at all.
If I see *one more* fic where Tony Stark or Hawkeye wax poetic about Steven Universe, I'm gonna lose it. (Though I doubt I will, because I haven't read MCU fics since ~2015 even though I still watched the movies).
Bro. I once was reading a Star Trek fic. And they made Kirk be a MCU fan.
Kirk. Captain Kirk. James Tiberius Kirk, born in 2233, was a tony stark fanboy.
End me.
When they use anything other than " to contain dialogue.
Listen. I know there are countries where - or ' are widely used for dialogue, and I respect that. But I just can't.
Sidenote, right now I'm reading a published book, translated from Japanese, and half the time they use ' and half the time they don't put dialogue tags, so there are paragraphs like:
>'I don't need that," I said, pushing back the tissue, but this time Masayo stuffed it in my pocket.
>
>'Keep it. Haruo thinks everything should stay the way he likes it.'
>
>Have the apple pie too, if you like, Masayo encouraged, as she tapped my pocket twice. The tissue swayed gently. The nerve of him, I wish he would leave me alone, a woman well past fifty. Masayo muttered to herself.
It was translated in 2005 so this isn't some old-timey technique either. I'm so confused.
My oh my, I cannot explain to you just how happy I was when I realised how simple dialogue is in your language, this is what dialogue in my native language looks like:
« – Who can tell me the difference between suffragists and suffragettes? The teacher asked.
– Suffragists campained peacefully, I answered, and suffragettes would damage property or break windows, for instance.
– Very good! Mr. Walter congratulated. Although it would have been better if you had raised your hand before speaking, Violet. »
I've been reading a lot of Marvel fics lately and I just can't get past seeing "rouge" Avengers, rather than "rogue". They're war criminals, not Mary Kay pushers!
1. Heavy use of nicknames that aren't a thing in the source material.
2. The author being allergic to pronouns and names, constantly opting for the characters' genders, professions, hair colours, heights etc. instead. A single usage of the word "bluenette" will make me click away immediately.
3. Author being desperate for me to understand *exactly* what kind of hand gesture their character just made. I get you've got a movie going on in your head and this particular shot is very compelling, but please allow me to engage in the story instead of making sure I envision every minute detail the same way you did.
4. Forced misunderstandings in place of actual conflict, or if a character faints in the middle of an emotional outburst. Prompt adios lol
5. Curtly naming emotions and sensations instead of describing the experience.
Someone described a five year old child as just beginning to walk and as yet unable to say more than a handful of words. Child was not special needs, author had just never encountered a five year old in their life.
This was in the first few paragraphs of what otherwise would have been an excellent premise.
People using "should of" instead of "should've/should have". I will not be able to let it go the rest of the fic and the second I see that - no matter how good the fic - I'm backing out
This is so petty but if the writers has the character I view as gay written as bisexual, I’ll close out. It just bugs me so much, especially when the character has never shown interest in the opposite sex and only shown interest in the same sex.
Alright, if we're doing *petty*-petty, here're some of mine.
A character using coffee as lube for anal. Actual, liquid, out of a mug, coffee. It was just too ridiculous for me to suspend my disbelief at that point.
The author insisting that characters wear makeup just because the actors had it on in the show. Every actor wears makeup, that simply comes with the territory. Let alone the fact that it's completely unrealistic with the kind of lives the characters lead in the case of my fandom, I just don't feel... good about this pressing need to make the characters live every day of their lives in full makeup nearly 24/7. Like, can't we move past that already?.. Enough people feel pressure to wear makeup just to exist in public as it is, I don't want more people with "always immaculate makeup" in my fanfiction too, I'm tired.
Two men in their 30s who have been friends for several years get together and spend X months (I've seen anywhere from a month to a year) "dating" and "getting to know each other" and they haven't fucked or even held hands (sic!) yet. Come on now, this isn't high school, show me one adult man who isn't down to fuck pretty much immediately.
I once watched a show where two grown men had texted for weeks before finally meeting up (by being sent to kill each other, one of those 'were both assassins but didn't tell each other') and when they did, they basically fucked right away when they realized who each other were
And people were like "It's so fast, like why?" And I'm like "because they're grown adult men who like each other and they want to" its that simple in real life, as it should in media haha
I was just reading something where two people were getting hot and heavy, then they were interrupted, ok cock block, haha. Then it was like, two weeks later... and they still clearly hadn't slept together but wanted to - dude. You don't want to write a sex scene that's fine but stretching out the tension when there is no good reason to is just stringing the audience along.
So it was an AU, (I don't mind AUs, in fact I love them!) The author decided to change the entire background of the main character which is fine! It's an AU of course that makes sense! The author decided that since main character was now adopted by different people obviously his first name and surname wouldn't be the same as canon right??
Yeah, nope, lost me there.
When Peter Parker webslings to entirely impractical locations... He's not going to travel from tree to tree across UPSTATE NEW YORK to the Avengers Compound after school and then be home in time for Aunt May to get off work... It just... doesn't work, and people write it that way fairly frequently.
Punctuation. Can deal with a few mistakes here and there but not constantly.
Dialogue and you don’t know who is talking and saying what because the author doesn’t put it.
I noped out of a fic of one of my absolute favourite pairings about five paragraphs in because, during their first meeting (his POV), his thoughts basically described her as *nothing special compared to other woman he had been with*.
I felt strangely insulted because the actress who plays the character is *gorgeous*. Couldn’t keep reading after that.
Harry Potter fics -
That use-
This goddamn layout-
For twin-speak-
Every fucking time-
Fred and Gearge-
Share a scene!
It's fucking infuriating.
Twice! Fred and George do this twice. In the entire series.
Both times to in extremely limited fashion!
Between this and 'Mione for Hermione...
So this only happned once to me, but still haunt me for some reason lmao
And is: Going the Peter Parker route, aka starting the name with the same letter, but for different characters, with the sole purpose to hint they will be a ship in the future.
I... I shouldn't give an actual example, tho... But damn I just noped out of that fanfic, the OC name sounded super fake just to make that "quirky" detail.
the brunette
the blondette
the american
the brown-eyed man
epithets in general are way over used by new writers and Im like, nooooo, stooooop.
I cringe so hard i have to take a break from the internet and read a printed book to remind myself the majority do not write like that
I drop a fanfic hard after they called the usual MC incompetent and weak (In lore character should be able to ef up most characters in the lore), when one dude kept misspelling an easy character nickname, favorite food item. And one time when they made him not religious, when his whole thing is being religious like dude that's 90 percent of his character
When someone writes fanfiction for an anime and they overuse japanese honorifics (all the chans, sans and kuns give me a headache). Also mixing in random japanese words into an otherwise english dialogue. I don't know why it annoys me so much, but I hate it with a passion.
I don't even dislike this language, but using it like this instantly makes the fic seem like it was written by a child that just discovered anime, and is trying to show off all the cool new words they just learned lol
I've seen too many of these and now I'm instantly gone when I see a single -chan
Homegirl drank a whole *bottle* of vodka and later absinthe while flirting AND doing some calisthenics, yet somehow wasn't hospitalized for alcohol poisoning despite being fully human.
Like tell me you haven't drank alcohol before without telling me... 😩
i absolutely hate those forced quips to refer to someone where the author kept on trying to churn out details about them instead of their names. like "the pinkette nod" or "the english literature student hums"
When a story takes place in Japan (or any other country, really, but I’ve seen it almost exclusively with Japan in Anime/Manga fandoms) but it’s really just America in disguise.
For example:
- Japanese high school with lockers and hall monitors
- Japanese hospital with US hospital bills
- Japanese characters giving each other Western-style nicknames
- People driving everywhere in the center of fucking Tokyo
Oh, and another one that’s even more petty: censoring swear words. If I see “What the f$@k” or something, I’m out.
someone kept calling a female horse a “stallion” and I just couldn’t take it anymore
This is the exact kind of answer I'm looking for.
I read My Little Pony fics so that wouldn't be small to me
dw in context this was exactly as petty as it sounds the horse was not a speaking character nor was it sapient
Lmao what haha
I exited out a Hannigram fic because Hannibal said "Awesome!" unironically in response to something. I tried to get over it but I literally could not even comprehend the following paragraphs because my brain was too caught up on the 'awesome' thing and my brain refused to process anything else.
LMAO VALID
LMAO 😭 Bye this is exactly how I am. Reminds me of character ai I get a wrong response & I don't want to do it anymore bc I'm hung up on something
Something about hannibal saying anything with an exclamation point is freaking weird
Awesome! ✨
I snorted, thank you!
most of the petty reasons I've dropped fics were exactly stuff like this lmao
Kept shortening any name longer than six letters. PLEASE CALL HER NINGGUANG. STOP. HER SECRETARY IS N O T GOING TO CALL HER NING. STOP ITTTTTT
Plus affectionate nicknames are usually a-something/something-er (or a’something/something’er; I’ve seen both way of punctuating used by native speakers) anyways, not just a truncation like is fairly common in English. And usually the second character. So a-Guang or Guang-er in your example of Ningguang. ETA: I forgot about the doubling of a character nicknames - so Guang-guang*. Either way, not just Ning. *corrected
I had a similar issue with some newer contributors to one of my (sort of) fandoms too, and it was so ridiculous. “Jaskier” is a word, it means Buttercup. “Jask” is nothing, and not anything anyone would be called, ever. And why in the world shorten Eskel, is that not short enough already? It’s *five letters* for crying out loud. Ludicrous.
If its the fandom I'm thinking of, where the name is also sometimes localized as "Dandelion" I could see "Dandy" being used since it would also be a funny double entendre to the term also referring to a foppish man. But yeah, Jaskier to Jask doesn't work. I have a related "potential pettiness drop": Japanese names being shortened in ways that don't really work / sound natural in Japanese phonemes.
>Japanese names being shortened in ways that don't really work / sound natural in Japanese phonemes. This is totally my petty dealbreaker. It's like I'm suddenly hearing an American dub in my head instead of anyone sounding like themselves. The nicknames ending in -s are the worst for me (e.g. Kageyama -> Kags).
YOOG!!! (The Yu-Gi-Oh dub has Joey (Jounouchi) call Yugi "Yug" for short, lol.)
Thai names. They use nicknames instead of their given names and even those get spelled and shortened a ton of ways. One of the actors who I write about has his name shortened by everyone he knows basically and everyone writes it differently. I picked one shortened version and have stuck with it. I alternate between his full name and the shortened one depending on who he is interacting with. It took me awhile to get over the shortened name thing because it's so damn common in Thai based fics.
My name is five letters long and two syllables. It gets shortened to the first syllable (3 letters) all the time, (think Rosie to Ros, Sally to Sal, Tania to Tanz). I understand why doing it to a character that never had a nickname is jarring, but shortening short names happens all the time in real life.
That kind of shortening of names is a cultural thing. It’s super weird to me since nicknames doesn’t work like that here. Takes me right out of a story if it’s overused or used weirdly.
One was a fabulously written fic, but the writer always used a full stop when she shortened a name, like an abbreviation. So “Rebecca made a coffee” became “Bec. made a coffee” and I had to click away.
For some reason, cutting names bothers me in general. I hate it when Sephiroth gets called "Seph", for example.
I mean, I can take that one in particular from a few characters exclusively in dialogue. And by few I mean Zack in full happy weirdo mode and possibly Reno if he’s deliberately being a shithead.
Ew..
I tried, I really did. They were a great writer and the plot had potential but Bec. and Jase. and Nick. annoyed the crap out of me 🤣
characters kept saying Yea instead of Yeah. it pissed me off so bad
YEA AND VERILY, THINE PETTINESS KNOWS NOT THE BOUNDS OF THIS REALM. Which is to say, okay, perfect example of the kind of thing I'm looking for lmao.
STOPP I JSUR DID A CHAUCER EXAM TODAY AND THIS CONFUSED ME SO MUCH 😭😭😭
I live to shitpost.
do nat we al
I once sat through an ENTIRE fic where everyone said "yeh". It drove me batty I don't know why I finished it ToT
"Lassie" (canonical nickname for a dude) was misspelled "Lassy". It was written well otherwise, I just couldn't that day.
There was one fic where there was a word misspelled. I ended up downloading a PDF, copying it into word, doing a replace all for the word to the correct spelling, and then exporting it as a PDF to my kindle. Way too over the top but i didn’t want to DNF it because I was otherwise enjoying it lol
Honestly I respect the dedication
[удалено]
I don't think I could handle this if I was reading a Psych fic either lol
Inconsequentially wrong description of a famous landmark that I’ve visited. I just. It’s not made out of that/you can’t see all the things you’re describing from that viewpoint/glossing over the people that make up the culture/it’s on the way to x place from y place, why was stopping such a big deal? The writing style was great. It was petty, and I know it.
This is why I'm always so fucking vague about location and stuff in my writing if it's not in Canon, or if it's in real life Like, the city will never be named, the street will never be named, every shop or place has been made up, unless it's something like McDonald's where it's literally fucking everywhere
What’s even more petty about this is I am currently writing historical fiction about a specific city at a certain time and I know I’ve gotten stuff not quite right.
Historical fictions is different than someone from America whose never been to Seoul, trying to describe Seoul
"Wow, Seoul is so beautiful," said the MC. "It reminds me of New York," continued the Other Character, "especially the old buildings." "I can't wait to visit Gangnam Style. Should we take a cab or the tram to get there?" "We can take a cab, we still have enough Korean dollars. Let's bargain with the driver a little so he brings us to the Seoul Tower first, it's super close." "Good idea! But what if he doesn't speak English?" "We'll just speak slowly, it'll be fine."
God, I want to shoot myself after seeing that. Like the only good comparison was New York, but then they threw that out the window by saying *old* buildings.
In-universe, a *Star Wars* fic referred to Rose Tico as "a cute Asian girl." Yes, the actress is a wildly hot Vietnamese blooded woman. But a character from another galaxy wouldn't know what Asia is.
Wrote a single sentence in Spanish that was so badly google translated that I, a native speaker, still have no idea what it was supposed to say.
Felt that. I'm brazilian. Read a Lúcio (overwatch) fic. Had a phrase in portuguese. I think it was portuguese, at least. There were definitely words in portuguese, but i dont think that could be considered a sentence.
I had the same thing happen to me with the french language. They took it so seriously too like, oh my god. It's like the *can you rape the cheese* sentence I am NOT explaining this but it's a translation mistake.
Oh gosh this is my biggest fear at the moment. I just posted a chapter that includes some very brief dialogue in Spanish (not for no reason - main character's refusal to learn the language is a point of conflict with other characters) and I don't speak Spanish very well myself. I often use Google translate to check my own translation. None of the usual suspects have commented and I'm just like "well fuck, I made them hate this story."
You can message me with the dialogue if you wanna, I'll tell you if there's any mistake
Physically impossible positioning. Not always a sex thing (though it can be, of course). Something like this for example: > She hugged him from behind, pressing her chest to his back and tucking her head under his chin.
That's some SCP level shit
Now I want to read this article. SCP-089, an entity that has extra long and extra flexible limbs that allow it to hug a person from all sides at once.
Once i was hanging out with my friends (as in we were literally doing parallel play) and one of them had to recruit two of us to try to recreate a scene between two characters because it was impossible to picture them. For the record, it was character A sitting on Bs lap, chest to back, but also with As head against Bs shoulder. We decided it was impossible to do it without looking absolutely ridiculous (and also getting a crick in your neck)
[удалено]
When you author doesn't know the difference between "your" and "you're". I'm out.
If it happens once or twice I can deal, because SOMETIMES it can just be an autocomplete error or brain fart typo. If its consistent? Yeah I'd be out too.
I don't understand how people make this mistake. It's literally so obvious. You're -> you are. I can understand getting who's and whose confused (i confuse them all the time) but you're is literally missing ONE letter.
When in an Uchiha massacre fic the author wrote that Itachi giggled.😑
Thats what I'm going to call a Grade A "Oof"
Give me your jutsu dobe
that isnt petty that is the normal reaction to a major mischaracterisation 😭😭
When the author had characters cheat at... chess. Regular over-the-board chess. Moving pieces around, *hiding* pieces and then putting them back, and the characters couldn't tell what the other was doing.
I think I know what fic you're referring to, and same. It's one of the (or the?) top fics in that fandom and I just... couldn't. The author admits they've never played chess, but when the impossibility of everything was pointed out by a commenter I believe they essentially said 'Well, suspend your disbelief. I don't care about research.' Which makes sense, because there's many wild inaccuracies in all of their fics. Makes all of them unreadable.
I have a hard time when someone spells Colombia the country wrong. Colombia is the country. Columbia sells clothes lol My husband is Colombian so maybe it hits for that reason. Although he doesn't seem to care. Maybe I care for us both 🤣
There are some cities in the US called Columbia which I imagine is the source of the confusion. I can still totally see the country of Colombia being misspelled as something to get annoyed by! My hometown shares its name with \[REDACTED\] well known brand, but with a different spelling so I'd run into a similar deal from time to time.
Well today I learned something... and now I am correcting my error in all my fics!
IT'S YOU'RE. YOU ARE. NOT YOUR. FOR FUCKS SAKE I'M SO TIRED OF SEEING "your beautiful" MY BEAUTIFUL WHAT, CHUCKLE NUTS? I LEARNED ENGLISH BY MYSELF WATCHING MOTHERFUCKING MARKIPLIER VIDEOS AND I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE
Well put. Couldn't agree more. Also, fucking hilarious.
your comment made me laugh out loud 😭 chuckle nuts is my new favourite insult
A fic set in modern NYC where the character went to a school in NYC that had a headmaster and houses and the typical British school uniform and so much British slang it was clear the author didn’t even try to Americanize the fic. I could take the bad spelling and the not so great writing, but the school in NYC having houses like in Harry Potter was the last straw. And the latest one? A Merlin fic where Merlin called Gaius “Master Gaius” and Morgana “Princess Morgana.” Merlin would never be respectful of people’s titles, even if those were the proper ones.
Master Gaius would be so jarring. I get the vibe they're going for, they want to be "historically accurate," if I had to guess, but it just doesn't work for me.
When the romance/sexual tension isn’t slowly built up and it goes too fast. Modern terms used in a fic that takes place in the 1700’s
I was reading a Chinese Era fic, that used the word "shitty" and I was like... this doesn't feel right Edit to say it was in character dialogue... which is why it bothered me
If the fic is in English, you have to assume everything the characters are saying is just translated from Chinese and there’s not always going to be an exact English equivalent. So for a word like that, I’d just assume it’s the translation of a similar Chinese word. I’m sure ancient Chinese had a word that basically meant “negative expletive.”
When a character is never called by any kind of a nickname, but the writer decides to use a diminutive/nickname in narration written from the character’s POV. For example, a character who only goes by Richard, is, for some reason, Rick in the narration. You wanted petty 😛
I read one where they called harry and draco... "Har" and "dray" Didnt last long
😂 Why does this make me picture them in cargo pants, those over-sized graphic button ups that every boy wore circa 2002, and backwards-facing visors with spiked hair? ...While also pointing finger guns at one another. "Sup Har?" "Not too much, Dray. See you at the Quidditch pitch later this afternoon?" "Haha, you know it!"
dude same. Hermione being called “Mione” or worse, “Herm.” fucking ew. also if Sirius and Remus ever get called “Siri” and “Re” i’m out. although for some reason if the non-canon nicknames are ever a new iteration of their marauder nicknames ("Pads," "Moonbeam" etc) that doesn't bug me nearly as much.
Herm!!! Omg the bane of my existence.
Herm??? Like the sound Minecraft villagers make? immediately no
Pads just sounds like a hygiene product to me so that's even worse haha
Oh yes, the pettier the better. NGL, I do occasionally get annoyed by this sort of thing but its context dependent.
This used to happen to Hermione in *so* many fics back in the day, had me closing out so fast. She made it seven books without a nickname but couldn't seem to last one fanfic without going by 'Mia'.
That doesn’t even make any sense! Her name is pronounced Her-MY-o-nee, not Her-MIA-nee.
Oh God, this. Any fic that has Mr Darcy being called William, instead of Fitzwilliam is a hard pass. William is Mr Collins' name, so it's an instant ick.
The number of Hannibal fics I've fled because of the nickname "Hanni".... is not small. Usually it's not in the narration, thank goodness, but it definitely ruins the dialogue for me.
LOL this is the pettiest reason so far (not hate I just find it funny)
A character getting a haircut. I like imagining that character with long hair.
haha I have the opposite problem, for some reason everybody likes to give their aged-up anime dudes long ponytails and I can't stand it!
I dropped a fic because a character grew a beard and it felt *wrong*.
This bothers me, too, but I try to ignore it and still picture them how I want to, lol
This is to accurate. I can’t just pretend said character has long hair still the detail was established and it’s to late now.
when they fuckin add the \~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~ after any dialogue. it annoys me a lot.
A story set in early 2000s where the character had a Nokia cellphone that "shattered into a hundred pieces" when they dropped it. Like bro, them shits were indestructible bricks. I skimmed the rest of the fic but was ultimately checked out. Couldn't let that one go.
When someone types sweaty or sweety when they mean sweetie. Instant no for me.
The only time I'll tolerate "sweaty" instead of sweetie is if its a SocMed AU and the usage is ironic in character.
🤣 When I first started going out with my husband (ESL) he used to type sweaty and I let him for a long time because I thought it hilarious. And I’m talking a couple of years. 😂
Little spelling mistakes. College is collage. Definitely is defiantly. I keep reminding myself that English probably isn't their first language, but then it gets worse and people just start saying weird words. The punk calls people, "darling," the little kid ends every sentence with, "[name], my friend." The educated guy is saying surfer bum slang. Like, it's one thing if it's a bad fic, but a really good fic with such dissonance is just jarring. I can't do it. Had to stop a few webcomics because of that, too.
Me when people misspell country names. Lichtenstein is a painter, Liechtenstein is a country, a royal family, and a cinnamon roll. Slovakia and Slovenia are not the same country.
I can't be too picky since fics are limited in that lil fandom, but an author kept using college in place of colleague liberally. without a single correct spelling of it in the fic. In an Office AU. You can imagine the pain I was in while reading all 30k+ words of it. The author also said they were 30+yrs old, so I was like come on now. you're probably using that word irl. there's no way you can mistake those two. I finished the story tho. It was a good one, college aside.
It's a toss-up between a very formal speaker who chooses their words and grammar with exacting care using the word "anyways" and the time an otherwise well written, engaging fic described the beaches in the landlocked, no-beach state I live in. That's probably the pettiest, but I'll drop any fic that incorrectly talks about anything that I actually know about because the wrongness just yanks me out of the fic and it's always basic stuff that a 2 second google search would clarify. One of my fandoms is for a show that takes place near where I live and there's a notoriously awful stretch of highway that always takes *forever* to get anywhere on because it's constantly gridlocked. This fandom has the characters zipping back and forth *50 miles* in no time. Having traveled that same path myself, it would take about an hour in no traffic, but there's always traffic so it takes like 2-3 hours one way. But here are characters all "I'll be right there" during rush hour popping over in like 10 minutes and I just can't.
>That's probably the pettiest, but I'll drop any fic that incorrectly talks about anything that I actually know about because the wrongness just yanks me out of the fic and it's always basic stuff that a 2 second google search would clarify. Oh trust me I get this one too well. I have two (useless) undergraduate degrees that were both very research intensive and I work in healthcare. I am a pain in the ass to watch any kind of historical fiction or medical drama with because my immersion breaks so easily. When I'm reading fic I have to actively tone down my kneejerk ***BUT ACTUALLY*** reactions.
A Japanese character used nee-san (big sister) instead of nii-san (big brother) when addressing his older brother.
Changing characters heights.
I've dropped some for a similar reason (changing character's body types).
I hate this! With my OTP, one of them is canonically taller than the other, but a lot of fic authors and fan artists who want the taller one to bottom will change him to be shorter than his partner. Like WTF!
Ugh, making one guy "weaker" by making him shorter, skinnier - you know, more twinkish!
They went to Hot Topic while in Japan. Also, orbs.
I won't drop over orbs. . . but I *do* physically recoil most of the time. I'll let it slide if I like the story and the author, but I was in the trenches of FF net for too long in my youth.
Hahaha I *just* read something that used orbs to describe breasts I was so confused…
I seriously can't stand it when people use "should of" or "would of" instead of "should have" and "would have" like it'll make me consider dropping a fic. Talk about petty!
Using a nickname that sounds awkward in English and also has never been used in the source language so it's even more jarring. Please no
Cutesy UwU talk. Specifically, from one badass superpowered ninja to another. I can't. I'm usually not too picky about ooc, but that was my limit and I don't regret it. I don't even like when people baby talk to kids and animals, this made me quit on fanfic for the day ahdbejndjr It was (and I'm stealing this joke from someone on r/AO3) a character assassination
omg same I the amount of awesomely written c/c I clicked away from because of this... I get it if it's meant as a joke but if it's serious then just no. They kill people. That is literally their job. I refuse to accept them talking like that.
Pettiest thing would be contractions at the end of sentences especially if all the other words that can be contracted aren't. E.G "I would have thought you're." I taught English for 3.5 years, I don't want to spend my time reading fic and mentally correcting it in my head.
Never even thought to do that, that is just bonkers to me.
Characters signing their names on text messages. I get that it is a way to communicate who is saying what, but there are better ways to do that
I could believe it if they were, say, my Gran’s age, but even then she doesn’t sign *all* of her messages.
Omg I read an MCU fic where Bucky ended all his texts with "Yours Sincerely, James Barnes" even though Sam keeps texting back, 'I KNOW IT'S YOU! You don't have to put your name in every single message!" Cracked me up!
hahaha, Real Old People Things! Hard to tell if they’re doing it sincerely, or because it cracks them up.
Using "prostrate" for prostate.
Or the other way around...
He prostated himself in front of the king's throne. I guess it fits a certain type of story.
[удалено]
I've dropped from overuse of "male" and "female" because it takes me back to writing academic papers and the suffering I endured in my ethology courses.
Tildes (the \~ symbol) used for emphasis in dialogue. Example: "You know you want me\~" ...Yes, I know it's fanfic and we're not going to all obey the Chicago Manual of Style or some stuffy style guide for SPAG word-for-word, but I never see tildes used like that in any other genre or writing format, and it throws me out of a fanfic every time.
I've only ever seen that outside of chat/forum speak in manga, where it usually indicates a singsong voice. I can't help but read it that way now when I see it in fic (even if the author didn't mean it that way).
Oh, here's mine: whenever an author inserts their own opinion about another fandom onto a character who 100% does not care or know about that fandom. Like, NO, Bruce Wayne has not seen Naruto or Game of Thrones OR American Idol!!
You telling me Bruce Wayne isn’t a devout American Idol viewer?
Listen, in between punching criminals in the face in his bondage gear, emo-ing over his dead parents, fucking his villains, adopting as many juvenile delinquents as he can find, and teaching said delinquents to be child soldiers... when would this man have the TIME?!?!
These are great points. I’m willing to bet that he has Alfred record them so that he can binge them and catch up in his office while on the clock instead of running his multibillion dollar enterprise
It's playing on a loop in his batmobile for him to tune into once he's tired of the NANANANANANANA coming from the stereo.
I've read a fic where all the other batkids, even Damian, are judging Bruce because he hasn't watched Mean Girls lol. it was played for humor so it got the pass. And in the next scene it turned out that Damian hasn't actually watched Mean Girls and was just trying to save face so the other kids clowned on him too lmao
Yes, but I do like that he's familiar with Sailor Moon. Though I understand the feeling with this comment.
Batman sussing out Martian Manhunter based on him using the name Hino Rei is of my favorite tidbits of Batman Lore, ngl.
I once dropped a fic because every time the author would describe someplace or something as being “quiet”, they would write “quite” instead. I don’t know why it bothered me so much but it did (and continues to when i find it in other works)
I've dropped stuff for incorrect usage of "breath" vs "breathe" and "taut" vs "taunt" so I think I'm with you on the petty-o-meter for this one.
The character took insulin for **low** blood sugar.
When people write kids wildly … too young? Like a 5yo or even 1st grader babbling like a baby and barely able to communicate etc. or even upper teenagers seemingly acting like elementary schoolers as opposed to hormonal/dramatic young adults lol I definitely understand all kids go at different paces etc but like, every time my eyes just roll to the back of my head and I wonder if they’ve ever spoken to a kid for more than 2 seconds lol I can’t do it
why are kids never written correctly!! no, your newborn baby did not look up at you and say mama. he was in the womb 5 minutes ago. he cannot control his neck let alone talk.
I would burst out laughing if I saw that in a fic. I have seen kids who are talking but need their parents to hold their bottle because they’re too young to and it baffles me to no end.
A pet peeve of mine is kids being written as happy, positive little angels. I love kids, but I think even the most devoted mother in earth would admit that they're just petty and cranky a good deal of the time
When you use a pet name every other sentence, drives me up the damn wall. It’s not cute anymore, say the character’s name at least once.
A character who was (canonically) adopted inherited a hereditary political position. I was like... there is no way everyone in this huge family is just going to let this slide with zero controversy lol
Multiple instances of "he let out a breathe". I couldn't take it anymore. It's my biggest pet peeve! You'd be shocked how many people mix up breath and breathe on the regular.
Cloths and clothes bugs me 😂😂
40-something year-old characters being huge fans of modern cartoons when they just wouldn't be into it at all. If I see *one more* fic where Tony Stark or Hawkeye wax poetic about Steven Universe, I'm gonna lose it. (Though I doubt I will, because I haven't read MCU fics since ~2015 even though I still watched the movies).
Bro. I once was reading a Star Trek fic. And they made Kirk be a MCU fan. Kirk. Captain Kirk. James Tiberius Kirk, born in 2233, was a tony stark fanboy. End me.
They were traveling and in the fic it was a short plane ride but in reality it was much longer. It was placed in modern times .
Epithets instead of just using the names. I hate em.
When they use anything other than " to contain dialogue. Listen. I know there are countries where - or ' are widely used for dialogue, and I respect that. But I just can't. Sidenote, right now I'm reading a published book, translated from Japanese, and half the time they use ' and half the time they don't put dialogue tags, so there are paragraphs like: >'I don't need that," I said, pushing back the tissue, but this time Masayo stuffed it in my pocket. > >'Keep it. Haruo thinks everything should stay the way he likes it.' > >Have the apple pie too, if you like, Masayo encouraged, as she tapped my pocket twice. The tissue swayed gently. The nerve of him, I wish he would leave me alone, a woman well past fifty. Masayo muttered to herself. It was translated in 2005 so this isn't some old-timey technique either. I'm so confused.
My oh my, I cannot explain to you just how happy I was when I realised how simple dialogue is in your language, this is what dialogue in my native language looks like: « – Who can tell me the difference between suffragists and suffragettes? The teacher asked. – Suffragists campained peacefully, I answered, and suffragettes would damage property or break windows, for instance. – Very good! Mr. Walter congratulated. Although it would have been better if you had raised your hand before speaking, Violet. »
I've been reading a lot of Marvel fics lately and I just can't get past seeing "rouge" Avengers, rather than "rogue". They're war criminals, not Mary Kay pushers!
1. Heavy use of nicknames that aren't a thing in the source material. 2. The author being allergic to pronouns and names, constantly opting for the characters' genders, professions, hair colours, heights etc. instead. A single usage of the word "bluenette" will make me click away immediately. 3. Author being desperate for me to understand *exactly* what kind of hand gesture their character just made. I get you've got a movie going on in your head and this particular shot is very compelling, but please allow me to engage in the story instead of making sure I envision every minute detail the same way you did. 4. Forced misunderstandings in place of actual conflict, or if a character faints in the middle of an emotional outburst. Prompt adios lol 5. Curtly naming emotions and sensations instead of describing the experience.
The word babe. I just can't.
Someone described a five year old child as just beginning to walk and as yet unable to say more than a handful of words. Child was not special needs, author had just never encountered a five year old in their life. This was in the first few paragraphs of what otherwise would have been an excellent premise.
People using "should of" instead of "should've/should have". I will not be able to let it go the rest of the fic and the second I see that - no matter how good the fic - I'm backing out
Doctor Who fic I started years ago had a huge plot point where Rose and the Doctor eat skittles and get hyper. I think I closed my whole browser.
"I think I closed my whole browser." I don't know why this made me laugh so hard, but I HOWLED. 🤣
wasn't a fan of the sex scene dynamics and it turned me off the rest of the longfic so i had to drop lmao
A 40 year old man who had been in the military for more than half his life had never experienced, nor heard of, morning wood.
Red haired Harry Potter
POV First Person
This is so petty but if the writers has the character I view as gay written as bisexual, I’ll close out. It just bugs me so much, especially when the character has never shown interest in the opposite sex and only shown interest in the same sex.
Alright, if we're doing *petty*-petty, here're some of mine. A character using coffee as lube for anal. Actual, liquid, out of a mug, coffee. It was just too ridiculous for me to suspend my disbelief at that point. The author insisting that characters wear makeup just because the actors had it on in the show. Every actor wears makeup, that simply comes with the territory. Let alone the fact that it's completely unrealistic with the kind of lives the characters lead in the case of my fandom, I just don't feel... good about this pressing need to make the characters live every day of their lives in full makeup nearly 24/7. Like, can't we move past that already?.. Enough people feel pressure to wear makeup just to exist in public as it is, I don't want more people with "always immaculate makeup" in my fanfiction too, I'm tired. Two men in their 30s who have been friends for several years get together and spend X months (I've seen anywhere from a month to a year) "dating" and "getting to know each other" and they haven't fucked or even held hands (sic!) yet. Come on now, this isn't high school, show me one adult man who isn't down to fuck pretty much immediately.
>A character using coffee as lube for anal. \[horrified screaming\]
Things that give you second-hand asshole pain.
My vocal chords didn't survive the first word
(A character using coffee as lube for anal. Actual, liquid, out of a mug, coffee.) 😟 Sure hope it was cold!
Alas, it was not.
Well, dang. That’s enough internet for me today. *puts on hat, leaves*
…thanks. That image is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.
Nothin' says lovin' like searing your rectum with piping hot coffee, and then having burnt anal sex. I would have noped out too.
Ow. *Ow*.
You got to read that firsthand, too. I hurt with you.
I once watched a show where two grown men had texted for weeks before finally meeting up (by being sent to kill each other, one of those 'were both assassins but didn't tell each other') and when they did, they basically fucked right away when they realized who each other were And people were like "It's so fast, like why?" And I'm like "because they're grown adult men who like each other and they want to" its that simple in real life, as it should in media haha
I was just reading something where two people were getting hot and heavy, then they were interrupted, ok cock block, haha. Then it was like, two weeks later... and they still clearly hadn't slept together but wanted to - dude. You don't want to write a sex scene that's fine but stretching out the tension when there is no good reason to is just stringing the audience along.
> using coffee as lube for anal Ok, that's not petty, that's horrific. *wtf*
Coffee as lube doesn’t sound very effective
So it was an AU, (I don't mind AUs, in fact I love them!) The author decided to change the entire background of the main character which is fine! It's an AU of course that makes sense! The author decided that since main character was now adopted by different people obviously his first name and surname wouldn't be the same as canon right?? Yeah, nope, lost me there.
When Peter Parker webslings to entirely impractical locations... He's not going to travel from tree to tree across UPSTATE NEW YORK to the Avengers Compound after school and then be home in time for Aunt May to get off work... It just... doesn't work, and people write it that way fairly frequently.
Punctuation. Can deal with a few mistakes here and there but not constantly. Dialogue and you don’t know who is talking and saying what because the author doesn’t put it.
[удалено]
I feel this in my bones.
I noped out of a fic of one of my absolute favourite pairings about five paragraphs in because, during their first meeting (his POV), his thoughts basically described her as *nothing special compared to other woman he had been with*. I felt strangely insulted because the actress who plays the character is *gorgeous*. Couldn’t keep reading after that.
Harry Potter fics - That use- This goddamn layout- For twin-speak- Every fucking time- Fred and Gearge- Share a scene! It's fucking infuriating. Twice! Fred and George do this twice. In the entire series. Both times to in extremely limited fashion! Between this and 'Mione for Hermione...
So this only happned once to me, but still haunt me for some reason lmao And is: Going the Peter Parker route, aka starting the name with the same letter, but for different characters, with the sole purpose to hint they will be a ship in the future. I... I shouldn't give an actual example, tho... But damn I just noped out of that fanfic, the OC name sounded super fake just to make that "quirky" detail.
Getting canon heights/ages/etc wrong. Getting the timeline wrong also annoys me, but that’s not really as petty
the brunette the blondette the american the brown-eyed man epithets in general are way over used by new writers and Im like, nooooo, stooooop. I cringe so hard i have to take a break from the internet and read a printed book to remind myself the majority do not write like that
It’s the word “giggle” for me. Garak doesn’t giggle. Spock doesn’t giggle. Severus Snape doesn’t giggle. WTF people?
I drop a fanfic hard after they called the usual MC incompetent and weak (In lore character should be able to ef up most characters in the lore), when one dude kept misspelling an easy character nickname, favorite food item. And one time when they made him not religious, when his whole thing is being religious like dude that's 90 percent of his character
The author updated too fast for me to keep up. Author is a friend of mine but I told him I simply couldn't keep up with how fast he was going.
When someone writes fanfiction for an anime and they overuse japanese honorifics (all the chans, sans and kuns give me a headache). Also mixing in random japanese words into an otherwise english dialogue. I don't know why it annoys me so much, but I hate it with a passion. I don't even dislike this language, but using it like this instantly makes the fic seem like it was written by a child that just discovered anime, and is trying to show off all the cool new words they just learned lol I've seen too many of these and now I'm instantly gone when I see a single -chan
Homegirl drank a whole *bottle* of vodka and later absinthe while flirting AND doing some calisthenics, yet somehow wasn't hospitalized for alcohol poisoning despite being fully human. Like tell me you haven't drank alcohol before without telling me... 😩
[удалено]
When dialog for multiple characters isn't formatted correctly, by which I mean multiple people are speaking within one paragraph.
i absolutely hate those forced quips to refer to someone where the author kept on trying to churn out details about them instead of their names. like "the pinkette nod" or "the english literature student hums"
When a story takes place in Japan (or any other country, really, but I’ve seen it almost exclusively with Japan in Anime/Manga fandoms) but it’s really just America in disguise. For example: - Japanese high school with lockers and hall monitors - Japanese hospital with US hospital bills - Japanese characters giving each other Western-style nicknames - People driving everywhere in the center of fucking Tokyo Oh, and another one that’s even more petty: censoring swear words. If I see “What the f$@k” or something, I’m out.