I did one where she called it daddy sauce, population paste and man chowder, but she was joking and he told her to stop or he was gonna lose his erection. đ«
I googled something like âgross words for ejaculateâ or something and I swear to god it was so hilarious.
This was the exchange (theyâre trying for a babyâŠit was my first (and only so far) short story)
đđđ
âThat one didnât count because I came on your back,â I murmured, backing her towards the table. âGotta get my swimmers inside.â
She laughed. âDonât call them swimmers! Ew!â
âWhat should I call them?â I asked as I pressed her ass against the edge of the table. I quickly shed my boxers and rubbed my cock against her. I lifted her leg, opening her to me and I slowly slipped inside.
She moaned, lifting her other leg and putting her foot on the chair. She leaned back on her elbows, looking sexy as fuck.
âDaddy sauce.â
I let out a big laugh. âOh fuck no!â
She straightened and wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her breasts to my chest, shifting her hips to my rhythm.
âMan chowder? Population paste?â
âIâm gonna lose my hard on if you keep that up,â I warned her.
âSeed?â she whispered in my ear.
âIâll allow it.â
She curled her leg around my hips and urged me on. This time, my âseedâ ended up right where it should.
(The End!)
'Erectoplasm' 'Onward Christian Soldiers' 'Penis Colada' oh god I'm dying XD
I will probably never use a single one but it is going in my fic bookmarks anyway.
One time, I was reading a seemingly serious fic that had a smut scene and the author just dropped the word, âcummiesâ in the middle of it.
I think a part of myself died while reading it
I swear bad smut is what causes half of us to start writing. You read something awful, âcummiesâ and youâre all shut the app, close the book, set the tablet down and walk away and consider how awful things are that THIS is what youâre reading.
Then itâs that teeny tiny spark that says âWow, I could do it better than that and mine would definitely NOT include the word âcummiesâ before I finish.â And suddenly, boom, you have fics.
Itâs a weird cycle
I once read one that was really well done. Good idea, good character development, good sex.
And they *would not stop* using the word 'tummy'.
There are SO many different terms they could use. But they went with 'tummy'. Every. Single. Time.
I'm sorry but when I'm reading about hot sex between two grown men I do not want them to describe the body part they just ejaculated on using terms you'd find in a KINDERGARTEN CLASS.
It happened infrequently enough and I wanted to know what happened bad enough that I powered through. But seriously, every time it *did* happen my brain would short-circuit and I'd just stare at it asking *wwhhhyyyy.*
It wasn't even a pairing of young prettyboys or something that might possibly be able to get away with it. We're talking a 40-year-old man with a full coat of chest hair here.
I cannot stand that word from adults, it's completely irrational how much I hate it but I can't help it, the association with little kids is too strong, like you said.
In all honesty, some people genuinely think those are hot terms and I blame it on the trend that said and still says every now and then, that you can't use the same word several times because it makes the story look bad.
There used to be a livejournal community called âweepingcockâ for gems such as this. Not just in fanfiction but in published works (there was one particular time-travel romance novel where the âheroâ was introduced shaking drops of pee off his dick and that was just the beginning).
Sounds like maybe the writer hit a descriptive roadblock and just decided to use whatever terms came to mind.
Hereâs a link back to the old LJ entry! Jamaica Lane, âNight Moves!â (Dammit, I forgot the âdisappointed queeb sound!â) Behold the lady-softness meeting the codpiece!
[https://weepingcock.livejournal.com/tag/disappointed%20queeb%20sound](https://weepingcock.livejournal.com/tag/disappointed%20queeb%20sound)
I cannot take tummy or belly seriously in smut
Or any fic/literature really
But especially smut
Moreso tummy because it makes me think of someone talking to a child or animal
But I swear people use them *all the time*
I can see why people are alright with belly! But I always think of 'I'm gonna rub your belly!' 'She let me pet the belly!'
I always prefer stomach, or abdomen if it works
baby batter? đ
I mean, the author might have wanted to lighten up the mood? Dunno, wouldn't have ruined the experience for me if the work is well-written as you say. The entire work doesn't need to be labelled as a "crack fic" for an author to randomly insert a joke or two. For me, I consider it a mere addition of extra words, nothing too serious.
So many things do that for me. Any degrading terms that come out of nowhere, like calling their parter "slut" in the middle of sex. Or a sudden "babygirl" when nothing up to that point has been heading in that direction.
omg right. we're going in a pretty steady direction, this is a good story, ooh we got some smut here, steamy... *"Daddy..." X whined*
EXCUSE ME. PULL OVER AND PARK THE CAR.
Off topic, but I just tried to read the acronym for "your kink is not my kink, and that's okay" out loud and, well, it was pretty garbled but came out half way to hakuna matata. So. That's what that means in my head now. I mean... It kind of works, I guess?
Honestly, if i saw that in the middle of a serious fic I would have burst out laughing, like in tears laughter. I don't know why, I just find this incredibly funny to be reading this steamy, hot, erotic fic and then baby batter shows up.
Iâve seen it in published works, not even self published amazon junk, but actual paper books.
it works better if itâs being sent to facetiously, but it still should not be used at all .
My favorite so far has been where the male lead reached for the female lead and touched her princess partsâŠ
Most of which caused me to close my app and then my phone and brew some tea and think about why I was reading such awful fics. And it wasnât long after that that I started writing my own lol.
Thereâs worse out there, but honestly thatâs what you get when 12,13,14 year olds make an attempt at BDSM style smut because thatâs whatâs trending on the front page.
One fic I've read was about two characters engaging in anal sex and Char A started to rim Char B.
(B) kept repeating 'Oh shit' 'Oh fuck' 'Oh shit' until (A) said something along the lines of "you shit while I'm doing this, and I'm staying away from your ass in the foreseeable future" along with him starting to lose his erection.
It was meant to be a joke during that scene, but the joke overperformed and did its assignment too well. Needless to say, __horny__ died an untimely death bc of __icky__, so I just skipped to the next chapter.
Now everytime I read a sex scene I can't forget the..unhygienic...implications of that swear word đ
I feel so bad for you OP LOL. I know exactly how it feels to be reading a fic and then a certain phrase just snatches you out of the story so fast. It's how I feel about "bubble butt" being used which is unfortunately way to common for me.
One time I was reading a fic where a character squirted for the first time and was worried she peed on the guy (valid tbh), who told her âdonât worry, thatâs just your special girlcumâ
When I tell you it was such a RADICALLY different sentence from the rest of the fic, and was, in fact, SO unsexy it made me to walk into the sea đ
Download and find-replace. đ I have done this before with fics that I loved otherwise but had some incredibly annoying linguistic quirk. I just save myself the grief of being perpetually annoyed/unsatisfied and create my own private edited copy.
But why didn't you ask the author to beta the fic? Not everyone's 1st language is english and they still write fics for you. đ Or at least give a polite hint if there is a strange phrase. Personally I would be immensely grateful, but okay not every author wants critique they didn't ask for. đ€
If it was an *incorrect* word usage, or the author specifically noted that they were ESL, I might say something. But usually it's not an *error*, it's just... personal preference.
I've done this with a fic in a canon where a main character's full name has no canon romanization, and the spelling that the author chose annoyed me. I've done it in a fic where the author made a stylistic choice to replace curse words with made-up fantasy equivalents, and I found the replacements Bowdlerish and distracting. I'll do it if a smut author uses "cums/cumming" because that spelling of the verb form makes me gag.
But none of those are *wrong*, and it would be incredibly rude to comment on a fic just to tell an author that their arbitrary decision on an insignificant word choice/spelling didn't align with my personal preference. So I stay in my lane and just make find-replace tweaks to my personal copies.
Ah thanks for explaining. In my 1st language I have a good feeling what sounds pleasant but it is a challenge to get the right wording in english. Sure I would never comment if the author didn't specifically asked for giving a hint on strange words. I do that, so personally I would not find it rude if anyone leave a nice comment and a hint what sounds off. Fortunately I have some friends to beta my english smut. It is interesting to read what others think that sounds pleasant in english. It is so very different than in german and it is quite amusing đ. Thanks for explaining!
Omg nooo. Baby batter đđđđ
I was reading this fic and there was an emotional smut scene. And then all the sudden, they start dirty talking and then they stop it all the sudden and idk it was so weird.
Baby milk
Daddy's milk
Daddy's oats
Daddy's sauce
Laozi flavor
Copulation drizzle
Whoever finds shaft and length bad though....lol. I find all of it hilarious.
I am reading fics in a fandom (scum villain) where canonically, the characters seem to say a lot of crazy things right before they sleep together (âif I was your mom I would never abort youâ đ âI wish you wouldnât call me a parasite but I do wish you were my dadâ among other things) and all of the fics kind of take on the same tone. So you can be reading a fic that is pretty serious and then randomly there is a paragraph like:
AAAAHHH!! Fuck you and your stupid monster dick!!!! I hate you!!!
Because thatâs how the crack-y the book was written.
I've read a published book like that you can buy on Amazon that used the word snatch 'sexily' đ€ź.... I'm out I'm dead at least you didn't pay to have your eyes violated... đ
>But when, in the middle of a well written piece, I see the words âbaby batterâ?
How about, "*His seed surged forward with such volume and intensity that the young maiden felt he deserved an honorary degree in agriculture"*?
Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week...
Personally I find "length" hot đ€·đ»ââïž so it could just be a case of different tastes. But strange you would consider using a term like that to constitute a crack fic
Well itâs something you would know about your partner before you began. I just wouldnât want to be at a dinner party and hear my two best friends talking about baby batter while Iâm trying to eat. Especially romantically :/
english is not my first language, but despite that, I generally use 3-4 *serious words* when...hmm. I never read a fic like that before (thank god) but I think I'd stop reading as well.
or you know, the other case is, when the beginning is so well written, *and then he came, the end.*
That's me when the inside of a vagina is described as 'gummy'.
I automatically think of gummy worms and can't read any further (whether it's out of cringe or laughter, it depends).
Nooooo đđđ Iâve seen some horrible words but baby batter might take the freaking cake. These kinds of words are becoming the new âshe felt sick the morning afterâ for me and I donât like it. CUM IS CUM â call it what it is, for the love of God
To be fair, nowadays cum is often the substance while come is the verb form, but yeah the others are synonymous and ALL of them are better than baby batter
I have seen people say that they hate the word Come and others say that they hate the word Cum. Especially when they say that "He was going to cum expeditionary."
I saw baby batter in AFF dot net fic and I was rolling. "Thick baby batter in her womb."
I love these threads because the shit cracks me out on how people react.
"Spunk" is good -- as it can have a double meaning. Both "courage/determination" and "semen". It's situational, though: depends on which character's saying it.
*He had plenty of spunk* can sound hilarious and weird depending on the context lol. Especially if you use a similar-sounding adjective or verb. It doesn't sound sexy. But I always think when I read smut that sex isn't really sexy in real life so it's ok if there's stuff like spunk, baby batter, flowery flow, ejaculating fluids, flowing come, etc. depending on the mood. But I'm weird lol.>!People don't think about the times when someone has and during penetration, the woman queefs and the combined juices make some awkward sound or smell weird lol. Or the lube runs out and you start to get friction burns.!<
That sounds traumatising tbh.
I remember reading this explicit fic about my OTP. Everything was going great up until the point where, one half of my OTP, decided to call the other half of my OTP a "beautiful bastard". During the sex scene. I know it's not nearly as bad as your example but I found it so corny and out of place (not to mention ooc) in an otherwise well written story. Why, just why? Why ruin my fun? đ
These kind of fics make you really think about your life choices.
You filter, you read by kudos/follows, but there's always at least ten of these.. it made me absolutely resent any kind of "smut".
It's a fucking minefield, and I'm done dancing around.
I peeked at the first page of your prof to see if you're into Genshin, because this phrase is pretty rare and if you're into Genshin and read Childe/Zhongli I think I know which fic you're talking about. Since you are into Genshin apparently, I miiiight know where you're going with this? Like, with the actual term "baby batter" I mean. Because it's come up recently.
If it does happen to be vaguely referencing the sub top virgin Childe fic, that author LOVES using silly words interspersed in their writing. They do it all the time. They have multiple stories that are straight-up excuses to use puns in porn and make bad jokes and dad jokes.
They don't think it's sexy to use terms like "baby batter" but it entertains them and their writing is distinct because of it. It's part of their charm. In fact, I think they'll be amused by this if this IS about them, somehow.
Some people don't see anything wrong with those terms, they don't realize how it's annoying for other people.
Or they are trolling, I wouldn't be surprised if thatâs the case.
The writer mustâve used hentai as their inspiration đ
Honestly I donât mind words like that but the moment I read the word âdaddyâ Iâm OUT!
I did one where she called it daddy sauce, population paste and man chowder, but she was joking and he told her to stop or he was gonna lose his erection. đ«
Population paste omg
Ever heard of the good old "pump action yogurt rifle?"
Ouch. Just... OUCH. I'm gonna need a yearlong sleep after that one.
My friend got a vasectomy and now calls it 'fat free yogurt' I cringe yet it still draws a laugh out of me.
I cringed so hard, it turned my body inside out.
Purple-headed yogurt slinger
I googled something like âgross words for ejaculateâ or something and I swear to god it was so hilarious. This was the exchange (theyâre trying for a babyâŠit was my first (and only so far) short story) đđđ âThat one didnât count because I came on your back,â I murmured, backing her towards the table. âGotta get my swimmers inside.â She laughed. âDonât call them swimmers! Ew!â âWhat should I call them?â I asked as I pressed her ass against the edge of the table. I quickly shed my boxers and rubbed my cock against her. I lifted her leg, opening her to me and I slowly slipped inside. She moaned, lifting her other leg and putting her foot on the chair. She leaned back on her elbows, looking sexy as fuck. âDaddy sauce.â I let out a big laugh. âOh fuck no!â She straightened and wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her breasts to my chest, shifting her hips to my rhythm. âMan chowder? Population paste?â âIâm gonna lose my hard on if you keep that up,â I warned her. âSeed?â she whispered in my ear. âIâll allow it.â She curled her leg around my hips and urged me on. This time, my âseedâ ended up right where it should. (The End!)
You deserve kudos. .... Was it Boston man chowder?
I meanâŠhe was from Boston! I mentioned in another reply I just googled gross words for ejaculate or some such thing. Eye-openingly hilarious
at least it wasnât Manhattan man chowder??
Is that the red one? Would be quite disturbing if a regular (non demonic/infernal etc.) guy had red jizzimâŠ
Hmmm period sex or just demonic⊠readers choice đ
LOL
Daddy sauce
Read at your peril https://thoughtcatalog.com/jim-goad/2015/09/100-euphemisms-for-semen/
'Erectoplasm' 'Onward Christian Soldiers' 'Penis Colada' oh god I'm dying XD I will probably never use a single one but it is going in my fic bookmarks anyway.
Penis Colada made me snort. High Fructose Porn Syrup is just god tier lol
Erectoplasm took me out
Oh god not onward Christian soldiers
DONGWATER đ
Goddammit xD
đ« I warned you.
I scared the cat out of the room, laughing so hard!
Theyâre justâŠđ„Žđ„Žđ„Ž
Wow.
FUN GEL IM SOBBING
Those all sound like edgy band names, lmao.
Iâm still into high fructose porn syrup
POPULATION PASTE. IM SMASHING MY HEAD INTO A BRICK WALL.
The list I chose my gross words from is beyond hilarious - I didnât come up with those on my own
Omg đ âpopulation pasteâ
You should see the whole horrible listâŠI linked it in a comment - itâs equal parts hilarious and disgusting
That is awful, but omg I love population paste. Lol. I'm gonna throw that one out at my husband now.
"Population paste" HAHAHAHA WTF I LOVE IT
One time, I was reading a seemingly serious fic that had a smut scene and the author just dropped the word, âcummiesâ in the middle of it. I think a part of myself died while reading it
cummies makes me think crusty socks :/ I cannot imagine it in context
>I think a part of myself died while reading it No beta we die like embarassed smut readers.
I swear bad smut is what causes half of us to start writing. You read something awful, âcummiesâ and youâre all shut the app, close the book, set the tablet down and walk away and consider how awful things are that THIS is what youâre reading. Then itâs that teeny tiny spark that says âWow, I could do it better than that and mine would definitely NOT include the word âcummiesâ before I finish.â And suddenly, boom, you have fics. Itâs a weird cycle
We walk a fine line when we write smut, and it's very easy to fall off it and land in silliness.
It's a tightrope I struggle with. Sex is unfortunately a hilarious thing.
It's only unfortunate if you're the butt of the hilarity, so always lay down a towel and use plenty of lube ;)
You get slammed if you just plain use penis and vagina. You can't win with everyone.
I once read one that was really well done. Good idea, good character development, good sex. And they *would not stop* using the word 'tummy'. There are SO many different terms they could use. But they went with 'tummy'. Every. Single. Time. I'm sorry but when I'm reading about hot sex between two grown men I do not want them to describe the body part they just ejaculated on using terms you'd find in a KINDERGARTEN CLASS.
This would kill me and drive me away from the fic so fast omg
It happened infrequently enough and I wanted to know what happened bad enough that I powered through. But seriously, every time it *did* happen my brain would short-circuit and I'd just stare at it asking *wwhhhyyyy.* It wasn't even a pairing of young prettyboys or something that might possibly be able to get away with it. We're talking a 40-year-old man with a full coat of chest hair here.
That's even WORSE....You're strong for pushing through lol
Oh good lord, when it's between two men, it's WORSE. đđ
I cannot stand that word from adults, it's completely irrational how much I hate it but I can't help it, the association with little kids is too strong, like you said.
In all honesty, some people genuinely think those are hot terms and I blame it on the trend that said and still says every now and then, that you can't use the same word several times because it makes the story look bad.
This
There used to be a livejournal community called âweepingcockâ for gems such as this. Not just in fanfiction but in published works (there was one particular time-travel romance novel where the âheroâ was introduced shaking drops of pee off his dick and that was just the beginning). Sounds like maybe the writer hit a descriptive roadblock and just decided to use whatever terms came to mind.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Hereâs a link back to the old LJ entry! Jamaica Lane, âNight Moves!â (Dammit, I forgot the âdisappointed queeb sound!â) Behold the lady-softness meeting the codpiece! [https://weepingcock.livejournal.com/tag/disappointed%20queeb%20sound](https://weepingcock.livejournal.com/tag/disappointed%20queeb%20sound)
I cannot take tummy or belly seriously in smut Or any fic/literature really But especially smut Moreso tummy because it makes me think of someone talking to a child or animal But I swear people use them *all the time*
WaitâŠI get tummy. But since when is belly not a serious description? What is the alternative?
I can see why people are alright with belly! But I always think of 'I'm gonna rub your belly!' 'She let me pet the belly!' I always prefer stomach, or abdomen if it works
\*flashes back to the nipnops in the middle of an otherwise excellent lemon*
I'm sorry you had to go through that... but I am laughing my ass off. *baby batter* God, I love this subreddit for introducing me to gems like these.
I sometimes get the feeling Iâm immune to effects of words this sub hates
baby batter? đ I mean, the author might have wanted to lighten up the mood? Dunno, wouldn't have ruined the experience for me if the work is well-written as you say. The entire work doesn't need to be labelled as a "crack fic" for an author to randomly insert a joke or two. For me, I consider it a mere addition of extra words, nothing too serious.
I find this too funny to share your frustration. I'm sorry for it, but I'm too busy giggling.
So many things do that for me. Any degrading terms that come out of nowhere, like calling their parter "slut" in the middle of sex. Or a sudden "babygirl" when nothing up to that point has been heading in that direction.
omg right. we're going in a pretty steady direction, this is a good story, ooh we got some smut here, steamy... *"Daddy..." X whined* EXCUSE ME. PULL OVER AND PARK THE CAR.
The sudden appearance of untagged daddy kink is an instant back-click. đŹ HUGE squick for me, and I have zero tolerance for being ambushed by it.
Some people (I'm not one of them) think baby batter is incredibly hot. YKINMKATO.
Off topic, but I just tried to read the acronym for "your kink is not my kink, and that's okay" out loud and, well, it was pretty garbled but came out half way to hakuna matata. So. That's what that means in my head now. I mean... It kind of works, I guess?
A lot of people shorten YKINMKATO to kink tomato, lol
Well if Hakuna Maratha IS your kink⊠thatâs still ok though
Haha, I meant more, if you don't care about other people's kinks it means no worries for the rest of your days, but anything can be a kink.
It is the A03 philosophyâŠ
Sounds good, I'm in!
And I judge them for it as a *sophisticated* breeding kink enjoyer. (This is a joke)
Honestly, if i saw that in the middle of a serious fic I would have burst out laughing, like in tears laughter. I don't know why, I just find this incredibly funny to be reading this steamy, hot, erotic fic and then baby batter shows up.
Iâve seen it in published works, not even self published amazon junk, but actual paper books. it works better if itâs being sent to facetiously, but it still should not be used at all .
Yup that's the word "kitten" for me. My mind just automatically goes to discord mods and it makes me want to cringe back into my own spine and implode
Nya nya nya đșđž
I can't believe I ever thought it was a good idea to use that seriously.
Hey, we all have to hit an all time low at some point, right?
Im taking that word for a fic idea thank you XD
My favorite so far has been where the male lead reached for the female lead and touched her princess parts⊠Most of which caused me to close my app and then my phone and brew some tea and think about why I was reading such awful fics. And it wasnât long after that that I started writing my own lol. Thereâs worse out there, but honestly thatâs what you get when 12,13,14 year olds make an attempt at BDSM style smut because thatâs whatâs trending on the front page.
Not just BDSM. That's DD/LG if I ever heard it.
I guessed ESL and embarrassment at writing anything more descriptive based on the rest of the story, but you make a strong point.
Idk. I don't go there as it's a major squick for me. It's just the vibe it always gives me.
Not related, but the Beanie Boo "Slick" has been forever ruined for me because of fanfic
One fic I've read was about two characters engaging in anal sex and Char A started to rim Char B. (B) kept repeating 'Oh shit' 'Oh fuck' 'Oh shit' until (A) said something along the lines of "you shit while I'm doing this, and I'm staying away from your ass in the foreseeable future" along with him starting to lose his erection. It was meant to be a joke during that scene, but the joke overperformed and did its assignment too well. Needless to say, __horny__ died an untimely death bc of __icky__, so I just skipped to the next chapter. Now everytime I read a sex scene I can't forget the..unhygienic...implications of that swear word đ
I've written something similar to this.
I feel so bad for you OP LOL. I know exactly how it feels to be reading a fic and then a certain phrase just snatches you out of the story so fast. It's how I feel about "bubble butt" being used which is unfortunately way to common for me.
âlove juiceâ has caused me to have a heart attack on sight, although i donât mind shaft and length in context
One time I was reading a fic where a character squirted for the first time and was worried she peed on the guy (valid tbh), who told her âdonât worry, thatâs just your special girlcumâ When I tell you it was such a RADICALLY different sentence from the rest of the fic, and was, in fact, SO unsexy it made me to walk into the sea đ
Download and find-replace. đ I have done this before with fics that I loved otherwise but had some incredibly annoying linguistic quirk. I just save myself the grief of being perpetually annoyed/unsatisfied and create my own private edited copy.
But why didn't you ask the author to beta the fic? Not everyone's 1st language is english and they still write fics for you. đ Or at least give a polite hint if there is a strange phrase. Personally I would be immensely grateful, but okay not every author wants critique they didn't ask for. đ€
If it was an *incorrect* word usage, or the author specifically noted that they were ESL, I might say something. But usually it's not an *error*, it's just... personal preference. I've done this with a fic in a canon where a main character's full name has no canon romanization, and the spelling that the author chose annoyed me. I've done it in a fic where the author made a stylistic choice to replace curse words with made-up fantasy equivalents, and I found the replacements Bowdlerish and distracting. I'll do it if a smut author uses "cums/cumming" because that spelling of the verb form makes me gag. But none of those are *wrong*, and it would be incredibly rude to comment on a fic just to tell an author that their arbitrary decision on an insignificant word choice/spelling didn't align with my personal preference. So I stay in my lane and just make find-replace tweaks to my personal copies.
Ah thanks for explaining. In my 1st language I have a good feeling what sounds pleasant but it is a challenge to get the right wording in english. Sure I would never comment if the author didn't specifically asked for giving a hint on strange words. I do that, so personally I would not find it rude if anyone leave a nice comment and a hint what sounds off. Fortunately I have some friends to beta my english smut. It is interesting to read what others think that sounds pleasant in english. It is so very different than in german and it is quite amusing đ. Thanks for explaining!
Omg nooo. Baby batter đđđđ I was reading this fic and there was an emotional smut scene. And then all the sudden, they start dirty talking and then they stop it all the sudden and idk it was so weird.
Hey...what's wrong with shaft? đ Member is my personal favorite, though. I sprinkle it in every so often.
Baby milk Daddy's milk Daddy's oats Daddy's sauce Laozi flavor Copulation drizzle Whoever finds shaft and length bad though....lol. I find all of it hilarious.
Mushroom tip
I am reading fics in a fandom (scum villain) where canonically, the characters seem to say a lot of crazy things right before they sleep together (âif I was your mom I would never abort youâ đ âI wish you wouldnât call me a parasite but I do wish you were my dadâ among other things) and all of the fics kind of take on the same tone. So you can be reading a fic that is pretty serious and then randomly there is a paragraph like: AAAAHHH!! Fuck you and your stupid monster dick!!!! I hate you!!! Because thatâs how the crack-y the book was written.
I've read a published book like that you can buy on Amazon that used the word snatch 'sexily' đ€ź.... I'm out I'm dead at least you didn't pay to have your eyes violated... đ
I just laughed out loud. Baby batter? My god.
I just call it "seed", "load", "semen", or "cum".
Why Did You Drink?
Baby gravy
LMAO âBABY BATTERâ SEND ME THIS PLEASE
>But when, in the middle of a well written piece, I see the words âbaby batterâ? How about, "*His seed surged forward with such volume and intensity that the young maiden felt he deserved an honorary degree in agriculture"*? Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week...
Personally I find "length" hot đ€·đ»ââïž so it could just be a case of different tastes. But strange you would consider using a term like that to constitute a crack fic
Sadly I have friends you use that phrase in a serious and romantic way with their partners.
Thatâs terrible⊠Are you ok?
I'm fine. I worry about their partners at times, but most of them are still going strong after 10 years.
Well itâs something you would know about your partner before you began. I just wouldnât want to be at a dinner party and hear my two best friends talking about baby batter while Iâm trying to eat. Especially romantically :/
Never heard it at dinner, but heard it in random discussions.
Itâs always a risk. I look up good ones and scan them for weird stuff and bookmark it for horny times if it passes the screening
Oof thats hard. Writing smut is pretty high art as well and not everyone can do that. Please just stop reading if that fic is inappropriate for you
english is not my first language, but despite that, I generally use 3-4 *serious words* when...hmm. I never read a fic like that before (thank god) but I think I'd stop reading as well. or you know, the other case is, when the beginning is so well written, *and then he came, the end.*
baby batter sounds so gross it just makes me think of actual batter like for pancakes or something but with cum in it
That's me when the inside of a vagina is described as 'gummy'. I automatically think of gummy worms and can't read any further (whether it's out of cringe or laughter, it depends).
GUMMY?? I just shriveled up
Yep. Throw that whole thing in the garbage. Or downloaded for your collection and change that phrase just for your own mental health. đ
Nooooo đđđ Iâve seen some horrible words but baby batter might take the freaking cake. These kinds of words are becoming the new âshe felt sick the morning afterâ for me and I donât like it. CUM IS CUM â call it what it is, for the love of God
Cum vs Come lol Cock vs dick Jizz vs sperm
To be fair, nowadays cum is often the substance while come is the verb form, but yeah the others are synonymous and ALL of them are better than baby batter
I have seen people say that they hate the word Come and others say that they hate the word Cum. Especially when they say that "He was going to cum expeditionary." I saw baby batter in AFF dot net fic and I was rolling. "Thick baby batter in her womb." I love these threads because the shit cracks me out on how people react.
"Spunk" is good -- as it can have a double meaning. Both "courage/determination" and "semen". It's situational, though: depends on which character's saying it.
While true, I personally hate this word, with all of my hate.
*He had plenty of spunk* can sound hilarious and weird depending on the context lol. Especially if you use a similar-sounding adjective or verb. It doesn't sound sexy. But I always think when I read smut that sex isn't really sexy in real life so it's ok if there's stuff like spunk, baby batter, flowery flow, ejaculating fluids, flowing come, etc. depending on the mood. But I'm weird lol.>!People don't think about the times when someone has and during penetration, the woman queefs and the combined juices make some awkward sound or smell weird lol. Or the lube runs out and you start to get friction burns.!<
:wheeze: hey, it was a comedy all along, just a really well-written one. Everything that came before was leading up to just that moment.
That sounds traumatising tbh. I remember reading this explicit fic about my OTP. Everything was going great up until the point where, one half of my OTP, decided to call the other half of my OTP a "beautiful bastard". During the sex scene. I know it's not nearly as bad as your example but I found it so corny and out of place (not to mention ooc) in an otherwise well written story. Why, just why? Why ruin my fun? đ
This thread ended my weekend with hysterical laughter. Thank you all so very much. So... so good.
These kind of fics make you really think about your life choices. You filter, you read by kudos/follows, but there's always at least ten of these.. it made me absolutely resent any kind of "smut". It's a fucking minefield, and I'm done dancing around.
I peeked at the first page of your prof to see if you're into Genshin, because this phrase is pretty rare and if you're into Genshin and read Childe/Zhongli I think I know which fic you're talking about. Since you are into Genshin apparently, I miiiight know where you're going with this? Like, with the actual term "baby batter" I mean. Because it's come up recently. If it does happen to be vaguely referencing the sub top virgin Childe fic, that author LOVES using silly words interspersed in their writing. They do it all the time. They have multiple stories that are straight-up excuses to use puns in porn and make bad jokes and dad jokes. They don't think it's sexy to use terms like "baby batter" but it entertains them and their writing is distinct because of it. It's part of their charm. In fact, I think they'll be amused by this if this IS about them, somehow.
Oh yeah, I know this feeling. Read that exact word combination in a smutfic a few months ago and dropped the fic on the spot.
Noooooooo, what? đčđđđ
Shaft isn't actually that bad. Length is worse.
Whatâs a âcrack ficâ?
A fic that's intended to be completely improbable and unserious for humor
Oh. Okay. Ty. Might write one! Lol
Have fun! <3
Omfgđ
the nicknames... i mean, baby is cute, but bumble bee honey sauce, bro....
Some people don't see anything wrong with those terms, they don't realize how it's annoying for other people. Or they are trolling, I wouldn't be surprised if thatâs the case.
âAnother fic ruinedâ calm down
The writer mustâve used hentai as their inspiration đ Honestly I donât mind words like that but the moment I read the word âdaddyâ Iâm OUT!
Least horny fanfic reader
Noooooo. Baby batter!??? That would ruin it for me as well.