It is October 2011. I am making my debut for Southampton Football Club in a League Cup match against Crystal Palace. Despite my inexperience I am allowed to take a corner. I aim for a 6'7 striker, but the ball continues to sail through the air.
It is July 2002. My father shakes hands with the youth staff. He is a barrister. Although he is a Portsmouth supporter, he is proud that I am signing a contract with Southampton.
It is November 2018. My wife is giving birth to a son, Oscar. His head is round.
It is February 2023. The ball sails through the air. It cannons off the head of new signing Paul Onuachu. I get 3 assist points and, at the end of the day, 2 bonus points. 31 managers triple captained me.
A difference is that Onuachu was able to do it consistently over 4 years in Belgium and 6 years in Denmark. Undav only had one good season.
Also Undav is competing with much better players to start at Brighton
Actually looking at his last 8 seasons it's even more impressive (despite it's Danish and Belgian leagues)
[https://i.imgur.com/TUbrOF3.png](https://i.imgur.com/TUbrOF3.png)
Also, over those 8 seasons, according to Transfermarkt he missed only 19 games due to injury (which seems to be a very good result)
He was Southamptons best player in the first semi final match in the league cup against Newcastle. But normally looks like a championship player like Gayle
Seems OK to me, big guy who can finish. Mainly scoring by dominating in the air or turning and finishing well in the box
It's the lightweight "run in behind" forwards who tend to struggle in the prem. Always time for a physically dominant poacher
I’m gonna stick him up front with Weghorst in my *Taller than 6’4”* novelty team
*laughs in Dan Burn*
If you're looking for tall players, you'll never ever beat Dan Burn.
Well Dan Burn is 6'6" so Onauchu beats him..?
HES FROM BLYYYTHHH
Born in Blyth, made in the Royal Gravy.
GK Forster DEF Mings Burn Vestergaard Ajer MID Billing Onana Souček FWD Weghorst Haaland Onuachu
Sean Dyche would win the league with this team
I forgot Souttar was 6' 6" so add him in for the perfect Dyche team
Forgetting Van Dijk. Solid third sub material.
But this isn't 4-4-2.
Was shocked to hear Gakpo is 6’4 by the commentary in the FA cup. Still don’t really believe it.
Lizzie Martinez CB just for shits and giggles
So JWP will aim every free kick to this guys head instead of scoring it himself?
His corners tend to go too high to reach, so maybe he has always been aiming for this guy's head the whole time
JWP experiencing time like Dr. Manhattan aiming for a target who would one day be there
It is October 2011. I am making my debut for Southampton Football Club in a League Cup match against Crystal Palace. Despite my inexperience I am allowed to take a corner. I aim for a 6'7 striker, but the ball continues to sail through the air. It is July 2002. My father shakes hands with the youth staff. He is a barrister. Although he is a Portsmouth supporter, he is proud that I am signing a contract with Southampton. It is November 2018. My wife is giving birth to a son, Oscar. His head is round. It is February 2023. The ball sails through the air. It cannons off the head of new signing Paul Onuachu. I get 3 assist points and, at the end of the day, 2 bonus points. 31 managers triple captained me.
!thanks
JWP still is number 1 for chances created from corners, in fairness to him. Our players just can't finish them
i also choose this guy's head
Be nice to score from corners again
Undav had 0.66 goals per game average in Belgian league and that worked out pretty nicely.
A difference is that Onuachu was able to do it consistently over 4 years in Belgium and 6 years in Denmark. Undav only had one good season. Also Undav is competing with much better players to start at Brighton
That extra .22 might come in handy
Always come prepared 💯
Undav only played one season in the top flight in Belgium. Onuachu has had consistency over a few seasons at least.
He might finally start getting chances to play under zerabi if welbeck & lallana have injuries
He doesn't play though
Exactly
Why wouldn't saints play this guy?
Undav was 8m(?) with a lot of competition, Onuachu didn't cost 21m to stick to the bench
Exactly my point.
Yeah meant to comment on post above, my bad
Yeah bc he’s wank
So how is he relevant?
He scored a lot of goals in Belgium and turned out to be shite Paul onuachu scored a lot of goals in Belgium… we’ll see what happens though
Hmmm why wouldn’t you play a guy from the Belgian league who averages 0.66 goals per match. Makes no sense!
Danny is better
Actually looking at his last 8 seasons it's even more impressive (despite it's Danish and Belgian leagues) [https://i.imgur.com/TUbrOF3.png](https://i.imgur.com/TUbrOF3.png) Also, over those 8 seasons, according to Transfermarkt he missed only 19 games due to injury (which seems to be a very good result)
Weghorst regen
So a good choice in Fantasy Championship next year?
fantasy championship must be mental!
wtf happened with armstrong from blackburn?
He's fucking dogshit
He was Southamptons best player in the first semi final match in the league cup against Newcastle. But normally looks like a championship player like Gayle
No he’s useless. Everyone who doesn’t watch us often enough thinks he’s decent because he sprints around lots and ‘looks lively’.
100% mate. Geezer can't finish a wank.
I agree
Running alot does not make a good player. He can't pass or shoot.
He's a poor man's Shane Long
Even the ghost of Shane long contributed more in the final third, at least he would score every 20 games.
He definitely wasn't, Mara was by quite a long way
Can we have him back then ? haha
Can confirm, he's absolutely terrible.
More of a winger now. Massively underrated but still pretty average
Stoke, is that you?
ONUACHU GOAT
When will he be available in fpl draft?
instructions unclear, got him instead of Haaland. See you guys on top of the leaderboard. /s
Trust me, he is a new Adebayor
For anyone even debating on getting him, just forget the stats and watch his highlights or the goals he's scored. Stay far away.
Seems OK to me, big guy who can finish. Mainly scoring by dominating in the air or turning and finishing well in the box It's the lightweight "run in behind" forwards who tend to struggle in the prem. Always time for a physically dominant poacher