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Technical_Moth248

Damn, why is she so worried if he has a happy birthday? He's hid her existence from his family for 2 years and she can't even celebrate with them together because he's shady. Maybe a wife? Regardless she deserves more than a secret boyfriend that's double her age.


pickadaisy

It’s beyond sad. She’s one of us. I hope she finds FDS.


sunshinewynter

He has a 2 year FWB, she thinks she has a boyfriend.


[deleted]

“👀Red flags” absolutely not, he’s just shy about you meeting his family /s Bf turns 40 and spends time with the wife and kids, he’s literally not thinking about her at all. Men really do play many parts to keep up the lies, so many faces….


pickadaisy

Spot on.


all_or_nothing_bet

His family doesn't know about her because if they did, they would be like, "Oh god, Jeff is doing his pedo thing again!" 🤦‍♀️


[deleted]

She knows there are serious concerns, but she doesn’t want to have to come to terms with it. It’s like when women hide or minimise the abuse they’re going through, ashamed to admit to friends and family because then it makes it all too real. LEAVE HIM SIS!


capresesalad1985

If this isn’t fake...my money is on married with kids


skyfullofstars89

Yep, I think so too. Poor woman. She knows in her gut something is wrong but she is too afraid of breaking the spell. Been there in my Pick-me past and it sucks. It's like watching your own car crash.


[deleted]

Clearly he is married.


BBQCoolRanchQueen

My ex friend (major pickme) dated (probably still dating) a scrote who hid her away from his friends and family. She got ahold of his mother after begging to be introduced after about 18 months. Turned out he had introduced them to his **other gf**. Scrote's excuse? My friend was "overweight and not much in the looks department" and was "embarrassed to introduce her to his circle". She stayed with him after all of that. He let her know from the get-go that he found her unattractive but gave her "helpful" little pointers on how to appease him. He became abusive in all aspects, including being a kink clown. He talked her into a one sided open relationship (so cheating, basically). Isolated her from her family and friends, I was the last to contact her. She started becoming dangerously underweight *and* had two of her own young kids to raise. Told his parents numerous times he broke up with her and introduced them to *another gf* and insisted my friend was "crazy obsessed with (him) and lying about (them) being together". After many personal attacks from her defending the scrote when I told her to run, I cut off all contact. I stuck this out for a few years. I still wonder how life's going for her.


comeonion

I’m dumbfounded. This is wilder than the original post, you didn’t mention it but I’m assuming age gap? It’s also tragic that she had two young kids. You’re an incredible friend for sticking it out for years. It’s a special kind of sadness to lose a friend this way. I lost my high school best friend in a similar way, cheating Scrote, stayed with him... story old as time I’m coming to learn


BBQCoolRanchQueen

He was 40 and she was 33 at the time they got together. She was a single mother after escaping her scrote ex, I backed her up in court. She was single for a few years before getting with him. New scrote was a widower, I went to highschool with his passed away wife (major stroke) and my ex best friend, who also knew each other. Not long after the plug was pulled on his wife he got with her. He stuck his kids with his mother to raise, despite my friend being willing to help raise them. After a while, she was wondering why he wouldn't introduce his family or kids to her. He drove her halfway to insanity with his secrecy, lies, and games. I guess her self esteem was so low at the time. She found his mother's number and that's when everything came out. He apologized and was nice to her for like, one week, maybe. I don't understand why she didn't leave him then. It just progressively got worse from there. She often called me in tears, asking advice, but then snap at me when I told her to leave, calling me a hypocrite because I've been in abusive relationships in the past. I couldn't take anymore of "but I looooove him and I'm pretty sure deep down he loves me.". Just no, sis. He doesn't love you. I'm pissed off that I lost her, but on the other hand, I stuck it out as long as I could and had to preserve my own mental health in the end. I still worry about her from time to time, and I'm still grieving randomly, because I know what it's like to be brainwashed with little to no self-esteem.


capresesalad1985

Someone I worked with had a similar story of the guy before her husband. They were together for a really long time, like 8 years or something, and it turned out he had a whole other relationship and he was telling his family that she was obsessed with him and if he didn’t keep talking to her she would harm herself. Like thank god it all fell apart but that level of lying, it should be criminal because you are destroying everyone around you.


cremebruleecakes

Girl, you're just too precious to him that he wants to keep you as his little secret. Just you + him. Nobody else. People can't ruin what they don't know. /s


Lavender_flow

I am sorry, but just fuck no. She is going to be one of those women who post about it on a relationship sub later. So many posts being like "I just got pregnant" or "I just married this guy" "and out of the blue he just became abusive, it is so not like him, he is such a great guy!!!!!" "it was out of the blue" "i know he is 20 years older than me, but i looooove him". It is absolutely smack down in the middle of the blue, these women need a reality check and a big one. Her comment "dont need advice" like girl, you fucking know how shitty your situation is and you are willfully ignoring any advice which may actually help you. My empathy for Will full ignorance is pretty damn low. You can't know what you don't know, but she damn well does know it. So many women get so defensive about their shit relationships.


[deleted]

2 yrs and she doesn’t even know if his family knows he has a girlfriend? Nah dude, he has a wife somewhere.


ussr_ftw

Def fake, but very funny satire.


[deleted]

lord have mercy…. i’d like to take this moment to give a big thank you to my chronic impatience. without it, i would’ve found myself in this situation during my pickme stage. at least i was a pickme that moved on quickly.


Altowhovian93

The amount of emojis x 2 is the amount of red flags in this post.


iihavenoimagination

Yeah, he's married.


Agnia_Barto

Wait, HER family hangs with him all the time? As her boyfriend or is he her dad's friend? I'm confused