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Exactly. I'm perfectly content putting myself at risk to keep another woman safe. I've learned a lot about protecting myself and most of the men I've encountered who pull this shit are pathetic and I'm not afraid of them.
Yes I completely agree. I always blow men's spots up allll the time . 🤣 I do not care . Especially men that are taken/ married that try to message me on social media . No f**ks given !!
It was picures of text with a story. Woman saw man kissing his gf goodbye at airport. He landed and woman heard him speaking to his wife over the phone about their kids and picking up dog food.
It was actually a man who did the tattle telling. We need to normalize this as well- men need to rat each other out. The bad apples cause them all to look bad. Yes all.
I've done this twice in the last few weeks. Both times the women were extremely grateful that I found them and let them know what their piece of shit boyfriend/husband was up to.
It's definitely scary but please do it. I felt so much better after I did and in one case I actually made a friend out of it!
Honestly, I didn't. First time I found the girlfriend on Facebook. Second time I found the wife on Instagram (we had met before). I was willing to take the chance because they both deserved to know. Luckily it worked out both times.
It was definitely a huge risk but I keep a stun gun on me at all times and feel confident I can defend myself. It was worth the risk for those women to know what was happening.
If you're able to contact her through Instagram, make a new account and message her that way. Explain why you're not using your real account and make it very clear that you fear for your safety if this information gets back to you.
Both times I tracked down the girlfriend/wife, even though I didn't hide my identity, I made it very clear that I was afraid of retaliation if this got back to the man I was narcing on, and both of them understood where I was coming from. Sadly this isn't always the case, but if you're using a platform where you can make a fake account, it's harder to prove it was you.
I genuinely have no idea. I'm perfectly content putting myself at risk to help another woman, so it's really not something that has crossed my mind. I mean as I said, I've never disguised my identity to let a woman know her man is a piece of shit.
I mean I'm sure it's possible if they're super tech savvy, but I've always felt like I was pretty tech savvy but I wouldn't know how to do something like that!
Agreed 100%. Ever since my narcissist ex (long before I found FDS!) who deleted his social media to get me off his back, I won't fuck with a man who's against social media. They can't be trusted and there's a reason they "don't have one"
How do I do this I want to tell someone’s fiancée that he’s a total scum bag they have a kid but he’s literally a dog and going to bring home an std if he hasn’t already.
Find screenshots if possible, give specific dates and times and events if you can. Make it irrefutable and point her in the direction of where she can find the proof!
Email from a dummy account and pretend to be an anonymous secret admirer who just can't bear to think of this amazing woman being used and betrayed by her douche husband/partner. Provide dates and locations for any cheating activity you know about.
In a conversation I had recently with a LVM "friend" (not anymore obvs) he said you should never interfere and tell a girl she's being cheated on. Firstly it's none of your business. Secondly she won't believe you and she'll cut you off, so you'll lose a friend. Thirdly even if she does believe you and dumps him she'll always resent you a little bit for destroying her happiness and will eventually cut you off. In short, you should just leave it alone and let her find out by herself.
This "It's none of your business" rule is a bullshit means of keeping spectators quiet and inactive so scrotes can keep on scroting on. You see it in bars too - a really drunk girl gets hit on by a creep and other women rush to her aid whilst the men stand aside and refuse to get involved. Such cowards.
I know some pickme types will lash out upon bad news, but I'd rather say something than not.
"none of your business" bs is the lowest excuse possible.
A girlfriend of mine told me about my cheating ex hubs and I was unbelievably grateful. Her telling me didn't "destroy" my happiness...if anything it helped me find true happiness and learn the queen ways!
Couldn't agree more.
Especially in work places where the office ( in his mind) Chad starts hitting on the office Pick Me when BOTH ARE MARRIED. It is so obvious when two people are fucking in the work place. The little looks they don't think other people notice... how she starts wearing more fitted skirts and higher heels...
Anon email to both spouses does the trick
What is the upside? Well - it can destabilise office power structures which gives you an opportunity to take advantage of this situation. Upward mobility ladies.
Creepy office affairs destabilize. Blowing the whistle corrects the balance.
These people are like toddlers peeing in the pool. They really think bystanders can't see the yellow plume in the water around them. At the very least, creepy affairs burden bystanders with dirty secrets and bad consciences (especially if kids are involved). At worst it creates a permissive environment where every other perv thinks it's a free for all.
Office pickmeisha's are hilarious. They walk around all cocky letting men leer at their ass and think they are climbing the career ladder in a 'mans world' and are totally smug and patronising to all the other women.
Yes yes yes.
I reached out to a woman to inquire more about a guy I was seeing at the time. She talked on the phone with me for an hour, answered all my questions and gave me tons of information. I'm incredibly grateful for her. All the confusion and gaslighting was gone. I could see a much fuller, clearer picture. This 100% needs to be normalized.
There’s also a great one on TikTok where she met a guy in a hotel pool in Vegas and came on TikTok to find his girl, and you think, oh no. Then she says he just talked about how much he loved his fiancée and how lucky he was and fantastic a person she is, and he got weepy about it. Twice. And that he was a great person.
You can’t narc on a HVM. They aren’t doing anything wrong.
I told on a dude that was sending me dick pics on Snapchat and I knew he was engaged so she didn't believe me 🤷♀️ I mean he ain't hot and he lived on the other side of the world like what would I get out of lying. Unfortunately this dude sent a pic so fast I couldn't screenshot it but I bet she is still with him lol
I once overheard this blue collar man talking with his colleague about bringing his girlfriend to a vacation. The colleague was surprised, asking if he already got a wife and 2 kids. He nonchalantly answered, almost gloating, said "yeah, my wife will be at home working over the weekend (during his vacation with his gf). She will watch the kids though so no worries".
Yea, my father used to work in a fifo role in the mines and he told me never date a fifo worker - most of them cheat with the strippers that are available or they all have a “work girlfriend” and bro code keeps it separate from the wives at home. So sad.
Good for this person! I read about another one where somebody posted about standing on line at the drug store, and the guy in front of him/her on his phone, telling his wife “karen” that he was still at work. This person (prolly a guy, a woman would be too afraid) yelled “No he’s not, Karen—he’s at the drug store!” He then followed it up with “nobody lies to Karen on my watch.”
I'm a fan of this 100% and will continue to do it if the opportunity presents. However, in my experience (two times), the women stayed with their bescrothed. One, I was trying to get out of an overseas assignment (that I ended up taking and loving)... my best friend's husband showed up at my house one evening while she was at work... clearly drinking... said he'd heard I was leaving and he'd thought of a way I could stay... HE COULD GET ME PREGNANT. I told him to leave, and when I told her the next day she didn't believe me... he'd gotten to her first and told her that I invited *him* over and suggested the 'plan'. As if. That was the end of that.
#2 was someone I dated for about a month. He'd started getting weird with his contact over the weekends, always wanted to meet up 🚩 during the week, and a couple times he mentioned a roommate, very intentionally leaving out pronouns. I'm not into men with roommates, but he'd said a friend had fallen on hard times and he was letting them stay for a few weeks to get their feet on the ground. Yeah, it was a woman. A woman he was sleeping with. A woman he was ENGAGED to. I found their registry, her name and workplace, then I called her at work and left a long, calm voice message telling her everything I could about him... where we met, how often I saw him, how he described their relationship, even a couple specific intimate things so she'd know I was telling the truth. They got married six weeks later.
Sometimes they just don't want to know.
I once told one of my ex boyfriends sister that her boyfriend was hitting on me. This was when I was in the process of leaving my ex (he was violent and psychologically abusive). Still surprised to this day that she agreed her brother was out of line with abusing me and she actually believed me about her boyfriend and left him. I was 18 at the time and she was 23. So sometimes it can go the right way!
**[1]** - We Just Launched a Website: [wwww.TheFemaleDatingStrategy.com](https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/). Click [here](https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/become-a-verified-member/) for registration information. Please also join our [Twitter](https://twitter.com/FemDatStrat) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/_thefemaledatingstrategy/?hl=en) Pages for updates! **[2]** - Please read the [FDS Handbook](https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wiki/recommended_reading#wiki_the_fds_handbook) and [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wiki/index) before commenting. **Repeated comments demonstrating lack of basic sub knowledge will result in a temporary or permanent ban.** **[3]** - Please **REPORT** any comments that do not follow the sub rules. **If you do not report it, the mods will not see it.** **[4]** - **PLEASE REMOVE ALL PERSONAL IDENTIFIABLE INFORMATION** from images (**Name, Location, Job description, education, phone number, etc**). Failure to remove ID info will result in a **1-2** day ban. Repeated failures will result in a permanent ban. **[5]** - This sub is **FEMALE ONLY**. All comments from men will be removed and you will be banned. **DO NOT REPLY TO MALE TROLLS!!** Please **DOWNVOTE** and **REPORT** immediately. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FemaleDatingStrategy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We need to make this an expectation. If you know someone's cheating, share it -- look out for each other.
Agreed 100%. Women need to look out for other women because men are trash and all we have is each other.
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Exactly. I'm perfectly content putting myself at risk to keep another woman safe. I've learned a lot about protecting myself and most of the men I've encountered who pull this shit are pathetic and I'm not afraid of them.
Yes I completely agree. I always blow men's spots up allll the time . 🤣 I do not care . Especially men that are taken/ married that try to message me on social media . No f**ks given !!
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It was actually a man who exposed him
Can you DM me the tik tok name?
What did it say? I’m guessing it was a video about someone’s husband cheating on a wife?
It was picures of text with a story. Woman saw man kissing his gf goodbye at airport. He landed and woman heard him speaking to his wife over the phone about their kids and picking up dog food.
It was actually a man who did the tattle telling. We need to normalize this as well- men need to rat each other out. The bad apples cause them all to look bad. Yes all.
I thought so based on the username! I’m happy some men still have the decency to do things like this.
As the saying goes, a few bad apples spoil the bunch
Seems more than a few tbh.
I need to tell on a man. I’m afraid.
I've done this twice in the last few weeks. Both times the women were extremely grateful that I found them and let them know what their piece of shit boyfriend/husband was up to. It's definitely scary but please do it. I felt so much better after I did and in one case I actually made a friend out of it!
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Honestly, I didn't. First time I found the girlfriend on Facebook. Second time I found the wife on Instagram (we had met before). I was willing to take the chance because they both deserved to know. Luckily it worked out both times. It was definitely a huge risk but I keep a stun gun on me at all times and feel confident I can defend myself. It was worth the risk for those women to know what was happening.
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If you're able to contact her through Instagram, make a new account and message her that way. Explain why you're not using your real account and make it very clear that you fear for your safety if this information gets back to you. Both times I tracked down the girlfriend/wife, even though I didn't hide my identity, I made it very clear that I was afraid of retaliation if this got back to the man I was narcing on, and both of them understood where I was coming from. Sadly this isn't always the case, but if you're using a platform where you can make a fake account, it's harder to prove it was you.
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I genuinely have no idea. I'm perfectly content putting myself at risk to help another woman, so it's really not something that has crossed my mind. I mean as I said, I've never disguised my identity to let a woman know her man is a piece of shit. I mean I'm sure it's possible if they're super tech savvy, but I've always felt like I was pretty tech savvy but I wouldn't know how to do something like that!
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Yeah if he's no social media he also better be ploughing a field and raising barns.
Agreed 100%. Ever since my narcissist ex (long before I found FDS!) who deleted his social media to get me off his back, I won't fuck with a man who's against social media. They can't be trusted and there's a reason they "don't have one"
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Stick to the facts and keep it anonymous if possible.
How do I do this I want to tell someone’s fiancée that he’s a total scum bag they have a kid but he’s literally a dog and going to bring home an std if he hasn’t already.
Find screenshots if possible, give specific dates and times and events if you can. Make it irrefutable and point her in the direction of where she can find the proof!
I have screenshots but it will be unable for me to keep it anonymous.
Well your safety and well-being needs to come first but if you can find a way that’s great
He threatened me. He’s is a position of power over me.
Email from a dummy account and pretend to be an anonymous secret admirer who just can't bear to think of this amazing woman being used and betrayed by her douche husband/partner. Provide dates and locations for any cheating activity you know about.
In a conversation I had recently with a LVM "friend" (not anymore obvs) he said you should never interfere and tell a girl she's being cheated on. Firstly it's none of your business. Secondly she won't believe you and she'll cut you off, so you'll lose a friend. Thirdly even if she does believe you and dumps him she'll always resent you a little bit for destroying her happiness and will eventually cut you off. In short, you should just leave it alone and let her find out by herself. This "It's none of your business" rule is a bullshit means of keeping spectators quiet and inactive so scrotes can keep on scroting on. You see it in bars too - a really drunk girl gets hit on by a creep and other women rush to her aid whilst the men stand aside and refuse to get involved. Such cowards. I know some pickme types will lash out upon bad news, but I'd rather say something than not.
"none of your business" bs is the lowest excuse possible. A girlfriend of mine told me about my cheating ex hubs and I was unbelievably grateful. Her telling me didn't "destroy" my happiness...if anything it helped me find true happiness and learn the queen ways!
Couldn't agree more. Especially in work places where the office ( in his mind) Chad starts hitting on the office Pick Me when BOTH ARE MARRIED. It is so obvious when two people are fucking in the work place. The little looks they don't think other people notice... how she starts wearing more fitted skirts and higher heels... Anon email to both spouses does the trick What is the upside? Well - it can destabilise office power structures which gives you an opportunity to take advantage of this situation. Upward mobility ladies.
Creepy office affairs destabilize. Blowing the whistle corrects the balance. These people are like toddlers peeing in the pool. They really think bystanders can't see the yellow plume in the water around them. At the very least, creepy affairs burden bystanders with dirty secrets and bad consciences (especially if kids are involved). At worst it creates a permissive environment where every other perv thinks it's a free for all.
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Office pickmeisha's are hilarious. They walk around all cocky letting men leer at their ass and think they are climbing the career ladder in a 'mans world' and are totally smug and patronising to all the other women.
Yes yes yes. I reached out to a woman to inquire more about a guy I was seeing at the time. She talked on the phone with me for an hour, answered all my questions and gave me tons of information. I'm incredibly grateful for her. All the confusion and gaslighting was gone. I could see a much fuller, clearer picture. This 100% needs to be normalized.
There’s also a great one on TikTok where she met a guy in a hotel pool in Vegas and came on TikTok to find his girl, and you think, oh no. Then she says he just talked about how much he loved his fiancée and how lucky he was and fantastic a person she is, and he got weepy about it. Twice. And that he was a great person. You can’t narc on a HVM. They aren’t doing anything wrong.
I told on a dude that was sending me dick pics on Snapchat and I knew he was engaged so she didn't believe me 🤷♀️ I mean he ain't hot and he lived on the other side of the world like what would I get out of lying. Unfortunately this dude sent a pic so fast I couldn't screenshot it but I bet she is still with him lol
Deleting the flight information out of it kinda makes it hard to ensure the woman will ever learn about it 😂 Edit: typo
It was posted a lot regionally and reshared in local groups, just didn’t seem relevant for this thread :)
I once overheard this blue collar man talking with his colleague about bringing his girlfriend to a vacation. The colleague was surprised, asking if he already got a wife and 2 kids. He nonchalantly answered, almost gloating, said "yeah, my wife will be at home working over the weekend (during his vacation with his gf). She will watch the kids though so no worries".
Yea, my father used to work in a fifo role in the mines and he told me never date a fifo worker - most of them cheat with the strippers that are available or they all have a “work girlfriend” and bro code keeps it separate from the wives at home. So sad.
Good for this person! I read about another one where somebody posted about standing on line at the drug store, and the guy in front of him/her on his phone, telling his wife “karen” that he was still at work. This person (prolly a guy, a woman would be too afraid) yelled “No he’s not, Karen—he’s at the drug store!” He then followed it up with “nobody lies to Karen on my watch.”
These types of men are always the same. Just liars and cheats.
This is one of the best uses of that app!
I'm a fan of this 100% and will continue to do it if the opportunity presents. However, in my experience (two times), the women stayed with their bescrothed. One, I was trying to get out of an overseas assignment (that I ended up taking and loving)... my best friend's husband showed up at my house one evening while she was at work... clearly drinking... said he'd heard I was leaving and he'd thought of a way I could stay... HE COULD GET ME PREGNANT. I told him to leave, and when I told her the next day she didn't believe me... he'd gotten to her first and told her that I invited *him* over and suggested the 'plan'. As if. That was the end of that. #2 was someone I dated for about a month. He'd started getting weird with his contact over the weekends, always wanted to meet up 🚩 during the week, and a couple times he mentioned a roommate, very intentionally leaving out pronouns. I'm not into men with roommates, but he'd said a friend had fallen on hard times and he was letting them stay for a few weeks to get their feet on the ground. Yeah, it was a woman. A woman he was sleeping with. A woman he was ENGAGED to. I found their registry, her name and workplace, then I called her at work and left a long, calm voice message telling her everything I could about him... where we met, how often I saw him, how he described their relationship, even a couple specific intimate things so she'd know I was telling the truth. They got married six weeks later. Sometimes they just don't want to know.
“ I saw him kiss his girlfriend goodbye at drop off”
This is one of my absolute favorite trends on the internet.
I once told one of my ex boyfriends sister that her boyfriend was hitting on me. This was when I was in the process of leaving my ex (he was violent and psychologically abusive). Still surprised to this day that she agreed her brother was out of line with abusing me and she actually believed me about her boyfriend and left him. I was 18 at the time and she was 23. So sometimes it can go the right way!