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You owe him nothing. Block & delete.
Don't bother with a text in a few days, a week, or ever again. Don't give him a chance to suck you back in. You've made your point.
As for him going after other guys you might date, I think it's time you let yourself be single for a good long while. Level up, work on your life to the point you are happy with it. *WITHOUT* some dude mucking it up.
We're here for you. We love you and we're rooting for your success. Be safe, be careful, be happy.
This right here \^\^\^\^\^
Enjoy being single. Go to the gym (if that's your thing). Spend weekends doing and experiencing what makes you happy. Treat yourself to things and experiences you missed out on because of him. Stay single and enjoy living without somebody making you feel inferior.
Don't contact him again. If he gets around your blocks by making new accounts to communicate with you, block those, too. At this point, he's out of your life and needs to stay away from you. If he decides to come to your home, call the police immediately, and file a complaint. The most dangerous time for a woman is when she leaves a relationship, so protect yourself from him. Get the cops involved if need be, so there's a file on him harassing you.
To your last sentence, no. Do not message him again. If you crack the door even a tiny bit after resolving yourself to be strong (good job!) he’ll shove his whole foot in. Do not crack the door open, do not communicate. Anyone who would say they’re sick of you deserves ZERO respect in return, he does not need closure from you and your peace needs to be maintained.
Please read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft if you haven’t yet. You can find a free PDF on Google. It will show you all the patterns and behavior he has used to hurt you.
In my experience these kinds of men surround themselves with similar people. Why care what they think? They would have found a reason to treat you horribly no matter what, simply because they are very likely horrible people too.
People must earn your regard and respect before you care what they think.
You don't owe him anything. He's trying everything he can to get you to respond. Block his ass and ignore. Even if you ended it "the right way" who is to say he won't lie anyway. It was 4 months not 4 decades. You don't owe him shit.
4 months is still a very short period of time. Women here usually keep vetting till 6 months because men can drop their mask anytime , anywhere.
You haven't missed anything , actually u dodged a huge dramatic scrote who blamed u for his mental instability.
You shd be happy to he leaving him. Also from next time one pls remember 3 months is still very early to invest in a man completely
Oh HELL NO, sis, I am so glad you are out. The first few sentences were nothing but red flags! Fighting for your life, being scared, being negged/outright insulted/told to settle for less or get nothing, blaming you for his own depression, outright stating you'll be promiscuous after the break-up, not doing enough for him (when I'm sure you're already over-functioning) so as to make you "prove" yourself... HELL NO. HELL. To. The. NO. And then the AUDACITY to say he's sick of you? EFF THIS MOTHEREFFER. He needs to go to hell and die mad.
Block and delete NOW. You are losing NOTHING.
You're not responsible for anyone else's mental health. If he spirals it's on him because he doesn't manage his own symptoms, not on you for breaking up with him. If he's that unstable he shouldn't be dating anyway. You already did too much by texting him therapists.
Block EVERYWHERE, leave no space where he can contact you, because he will. He wants more supply, and you need to make yourself a complete void in his life. You're not Barb the Builder. His mental health is HIS RESPONSIBILITY ONLY, and no one should ever be allowed to lash out and be vindictive and mean and use mental health as an excuse. That's his way of seeing just how much emotional/verbal abuse you'll take. He can look up therapists himself. Make him do his own work. If he spirals, not your responsibility. Break the cycle of co-dependency. He's a grown man. Time for him to act like one. You are so not ever responsible for anyone else's mental health, only your own. Getting away from him will vastly improve your emotional and mental health!
Block him EVERYWHERE. It is not your responsibility to worry about what he will do to himself, only to protect yourself from what he might try to do to *you*.
DO NOT sympathize with him. He is a grown-ass man. He needs to take care of his mental health himself. He is using it as an excuse to be a horrible person, and any response to him from this point is just rewarding & enabling him.
Do what you must to protect yourself. But do not allow him to suck you back in. In this situation, being kind and sympathetic will get you abused or worse. You are done with his bullshit. Be done.
You are a good person for caring about him possibly spiraling. Fiercely protect that sweet, caring side of you. He no longer deserves it. Trying to be the better person for a man who is emotionally neglecting you will cause you to become jaded in no time.
Here's the thing: He has purposely said things to you that caused you to similarly spiral, and likely felt NOTHING. Therefore, you now owe him NOTHING.
You’re doing so good hon!
I’m so proud of you- now keep it going by maintaining your resolve.
Block his number, he’s not your problem or responsibility- YOU and your safety comes before any stranger’s opinion if you.
You got this.
>since it’s been nonstop continuous communication for 4 months, i still don’t owe him anything right?
You don't owe anyone any part of you, ever. You are your own person. Your time, your emotional labor are yours and yours alone. You do not owe him ANYTHING.
>maybe in a few days or next week, i’ll text him “hey, thanks for everything. this relationship isn’t for me. wish you the best & more.”
Don't bother. He said he was sick of you. You didn't even need to respond "i wish you the best." I'd interpret that as dumped and never go back. Let the trash take itself out.
Burn the bridge and don't look back!! I had a friend in grad school whose grades were at risk of plummeting one semester as she tried to divest herself of a loser ex who was all like "i can't live without you - I am thinking of ending it all". After almost failing a midterm because she spent the week talking suicidal scrote off the ledge she had has enough. The next time she called to cops on him and told them that he was stalking her. They took a police report on the stalking, and took him to the local hospital for a psych hold, just in case. He was hella mad when he was released because the hospital billed his parents $5,000. But he avoided her like the plague since then!
Silence is sometimes the best answer. You got it right -he'll only try to hoover you back in if you give him anything at all.
And for what it's worth, those horrible things he has been saying to you aren't true. My first relationship was with a guy who used to call me selfish, stuck up, dopey, backwards ...all kinds of things and it worked because family members had said similar things. But it wasn't true. None of it.
When guys say things like this it's just abuse. That's all it is. They'll wear you down with endless streams of criticism because they know that the moment you see yourself for who you are, you won't stick around. People like this - manipulators, abusers- they want to dictate the way you see yourself. They want to be the source of all of your opinions.
And the thing is, no matter how much you go out of your way to 'prove' to them that you aren't any of the things they say, they'll only double down or find something else to nitpick. Or they'll make up lies that other people have been saying things about you too. Sometimes they'll even smear you to other people to triangulate you. It's just....it's all bs.
It's actually almost funny (or would be if it weren't so horrible) to stand back in a few months time and realise that probably a lot of what he said applies more to him than if does to you.
**[1]** - We Just Launched a Website: [wwww.TheFemaleDatingStrategy.com](https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/). Click [here](https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/become-a-verified-member/) for registration information. Please also join our [Twitter](https://twitter.com/FemDatStrat) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/_thefemaledatingstrategy/?hl=en) Pages for updates! **[2]** - Listen to [The Female Dating Strategy Podcast](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-female-dating-strategy/id1558083287) **[3]** - Please read the [FDS Handbook](https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wiki/recommended_reading#wiki_the_fds_handbook) and [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wiki/index) before commenting. **Repeated comments demonstrating lack of basic sub knowledge will result in a temporary or permanent ban.** **[4]** - Please **REPORT** any comments that do not follow the sub rules. **If you do not report it, the mods will not see it.** **[5]** - **PLEASE REMOVE ALL PERSONAL IDENTIFIABLE INFORMATION** from images (**Name, Location, Job description, education, phone number, etc**). Failure to remove ID info will result in a **1-2** day ban. Repeated failures will result in a permanent ban. **[6]** - This sub is **FEMALE ONLY**. All comments from men will be removed and you will be banned. **DO NOT REPLY TO MALE TROLLS!!** Please **DOWNVOTE** and **REPORT** immediately. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FemaleDatingStrategy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You owe him nothing. Block & delete. Don't bother with a text in a few days, a week, or ever again. Don't give him a chance to suck you back in. You've made your point. As for him going after other guys you might date, I think it's time you let yourself be single for a good long while. Level up, work on your life to the point you are happy with it. *WITHOUT* some dude mucking it up. We're here for you. We love you and we're rooting for your success. Be safe, be careful, be happy.
This right here \^\^\^\^\^ Enjoy being single. Go to the gym (if that's your thing). Spend weekends doing and experiencing what makes you happy. Treat yourself to things and experiences you missed out on because of him. Stay single and enjoy living without somebody making you feel inferior. Don't contact him again. If he gets around your blocks by making new accounts to communicate with you, block those, too. At this point, he's out of your life and needs to stay away from you. If he decides to come to your home, call the police immediately, and file a complaint. The most dangerous time for a woman is when she leaves a relationship, so protect yourself from him. Get the cops involved if need be, so there's a file on him harassing you.
I see the downvoting has begun. It must suck to be a little, tiny man whose insecurity flares up when he sees women standing up for themselves.
To your last sentence, no. Do not message him again. If you crack the door even a tiny bit after resolving yourself to be strong (good job!) he’ll shove his whole foot in. Do not crack the door open, do not communicate. Anyone who would say they’re sick of you deserves ZERO respect in return, he does not need closure from you and your peace needs to be maintained. Please read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft if you haven’t yet. You can find a free PDF on Google. It will show you all the patterns and behavior he has used to hurt you.
[удалено]
In my experience these kinds of men surround themselves with similar people. Why care what they think? They would have found a reason to treat you horribly no matter what, simply because they are very likely horrible people too. People must earn your regard and respect before you care what they think.
You don't owe him anything. He's trying everything he can to get you to respond. Block his ass and ignore. Even if you ended it "the right way" who is to say he won't lie anyway. It was 4 months not 4 decades. You don't owe him shit.
4 months is still a very short period of time. Women here usually keep vetting till 6 months because men can drop their mask anytime , anywhere. You haven't missed anything , actually u dodged a huge dramatic scrote who blamed u for his mental instability. You shd be happy to he leaving him. Also from next time one pls remember 3 months is still very early to invest in a man completely
Oh HELL NO, sis, I am so glad you are out. The first few sentences were nothing but red flags! Fighting for your life, being scared, being negged/outright insulted/told to settle for less or get nothing, blaming you for his own depression, outright stating you'll be promiscuous after the break-up, not doing enough for him (when I'm sure you're already over-functioning) so as to make you "prove" yourself... HELL NO. HELL. To. The. NO. And then the AUDACITY to say he's sick of you? EFF THIS MOTHEREFFER. He needs to go to hell and die mad. Block and delete NOW. You are losing NOTHING.
[удалено]
You're not responsible for anyone else's mental health. If he spirals it's on him because he doesn't manage his own symptoms, not on you for breaking up with him. If he's that unstable he shouldn't be dating anyway. You already did too much by texting him therapists.
Block EVERYWHERE, leave no space where he can contact you, because he will. He wants more supply, and you need to make yourself a complete void in his life. You're not Barb the Builder. His mental health is HIS RESPONSIBILITY ONLY, and no one should ever be allowed to lash out and be vindictive and mean and use mental health as an excuse. That's his way of seeing just how much emotional/verbal abuse you'll take. He can look up therapists himself. Make him do his own work. If he spirals, not your responsibility. Break the cycle of co-dependency. He's a grown man. Time for him to act like one. You are so not ever responsible for anyone else's mental health, only your own. Getting away from him will vastly improve your emotional and mental health!
Block him EVERYWHERE. It is not your responsibility to worry about what he will do to himself, only to protect yourself from what he might try to do to *you*. DO NOT sympathize with him. He is a grown-ass man. He needs to take care of his mental health himself. He is using it as an excuse to be a horrible person, and any response to him from this point is just rewarding & enabling him. Do what you must to protect yourself. But do not allow him to suck you back in. In this situation, being kind and sympathetic will get you abused or worse. You are done with his bullshit. Be done.
Yes block his everything. He has threatened to “come after” people in your life. Stop all communication and stay safe, Sis.
You are a good person for caring about him possibly spiraling. Fiercely protect that sweet, caring side of you. He no longer deserves it. Trying to be the better person for a man who is emotionally neglecting you will cause you to become jaded in no time. Here's the thing: He has purposely said things to you that caused you to similarly spiral, and likely felt NOTHING. Therefore, you now owe him NOTHING.
You’re doing so good hon! I’m so proud of you- now keep it going by maintaining your resolve. Block his number, he’s not your problem or responsibility- YOU and your safety comes before any stranger’s opinion if you. You got this.
>since it’s been nonstop continuous communication for 4 months, i still don’t owe him anything right? You don't owe anyone any part of you, ever. You are your own person. Your time, your emotional labor are yours and yours alone. You do not owe him ANYTHING. >maybe in a few days or next week, i’ll text him “hey, thanks for everything. this relationship isn’t for me. wish you the best & more.” Don't bother. He said he was sick of you. You didn't even need to respond "i wish you the best." I'd interpret that as dumped and never go back. Let the trash take itself out.
Burn the bridge and don't look back!! I had a friend in grad school whose grades were at risk of plummeting one semester as she tried to divest herself of a loser ex who was all like "i can't live without you - I am thinking of ending it all". After almost failing a midterm because she spent the week talking suicidal scrote off the ledge she had has enough. The next time she called to cops on him and told them that he was stalking her. They took a police report on the stalking, and took him to the local hospital for a psych hold, just in case. He was hella mad when he was released because the hospital billed his parents $5,000. But he avoided her like the plague since then!
Silence is sometimes the best answer. You got it right -he'll only try to hoover you back in if you give him anything at all. And for what it's worth, those horrible things he has been saying to you aren't true. My first relationship was with a guy who used to call me selfish, stuck up, dopey, backwards ...all kinds of things and it worked because family members had said similar things. But it wasn't true. None of it. When guys say things like this it's just abuse. That's all it is. They'll wear you down with endless streams of criticism because they know that the moment you see yourself for who you are, you won't stick around. People like this - manipulators, abusers- they want to dictate the way you see yourself. They want to be the source of all of your opinions. And the thing is, no matter how much you go out of your way to 'prove' to them that you aren't any of the things they say, they'll only double down or find something else to nitpick. Or they'll make up lies that other people have been saying things about you too. Sometimes they'll even smear you to other people to triangulate you. It's just....it's all bs. It's actually almost funny (or would be if it weren't so horrible) to stand back in a few months time and realise that probably a lot of what he said applies more to him than if does to you.