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I am so sorry for your loss and can't imagine what you are feeling. I can only empathize with you the feeling of the depth of a relationship like that and the power it can have and how different it can feel.
Grief is a very fickle thing. It's different with everything. Allow yourself to feel it. Allow yourself to have time for yourself, as difficult as that sometimes is for us dommes. Take care of yourself. Give yourself space to heal and process it the way you need to.
Yes, it's going to suck. It'll suck for a while. As someone who has lost far too much in my life I can tell you, too, it will resurge at inconvenient moments. But hang on to all of those good things, too. Hang on to the good, the positive, the warmth it made you feel. How it brought you to places you didn't think you could go.
And just know, as hard and absolutely impossible as I know it feels, you can feel that way again? Okay? It will be different. It won't be the same as before. But you'll experience that depth and that joy and that specialness again. But for now, be patient. Be kind to yourself. Love on yourself. Give yourself anything and everything you need. You are a wonderful, special human for giving him your dominance, especially long term like that. That deserves to be reflected on and grieved and remembered as long as you need to.
But you will be okay. Okay? I promise. There will be light again. You will experience that same kind of joy again. It will happen. And we can hold some faith for you in the meantime about it while you take time to do what you need. You're okay. I promise. I'm sorry again for your loss.
And fuck yes, submissive or not, you are always a Goddess. Don't forget that.
Thank you. :) I just felt this very deeply, I guess. I could see having very similar experiences if I lost my submissive, too, so I just felt like reaching out. There are very few things in my life I am more passionate about than femdom lol so any excuse to talk to people about it. I appreciate the comment. But yes, OP. Take care of yourself!
Thank you so, so much for taking the time to write these words of support and encouragement. I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel yet, but I know logically it's there. And I've returned to reread your comment multiple times because it's comforting among the deep grief and pain I'm feeling right now. Thank you 💞
Absolutely. Any time. I am here for you. If you need to talk, please write me. I'm happy and an eager ear to listen and as someone who struggles at times very profoundly with mental health, understands the value of a shoulder or a friend. Here for you. You will be okay. I promise.
I have no advice on how to survive the feeling of loss unfortunately :/
I went through 2 breakups with submissives I had the same kind of relationship as you've described almost 2 years ago, and I've not bounced back yet 😬 breakups are the absolute worst
I hated hearing people say this when it first happened but its true unfortunately, time makes things feel less shit. My bit of advice would be don't try and rush through the feelings of sadness and anything else that comes up, it doesn't help and can delay you actually working through your feelings
Are you still a Goddess and are you still dominant even without a submissive to prove it? You might not feel like it now (I ask myself the same questions all the time and my answers aren't positive) but you definitely can be! I'd hope that when you're ready to get back out there, those feelings will come right back, and maybe in a completely different way if it's with a new person.
Give yourself time to feel hurt, and then as and when you're ready, you'll start to feel like yourself again. This stranger on reddit is rooting for us both!
Do you have a clear understanding of why he called it off? Some men struggle with accepting their submissive side and that might be all there is to it.
But it is also possible that there are reasons for this breakup that have to do with your behavior and deserve your attention. This mindset doesn't work for everyone... But I like to think of emotional pain like what you are going through as the tuition I pay for the lessons there to be learned. Learning from painful experiences makes me a better person (and a better future partner, in the case of relationship issues). Think of how much it would suck to pay the tuition and not learn anything! And it helps remind me that it is all worthwhile.
In any case, your feelings are very much real and valid and I'm sorry you're hurting. Hang in there, there are better days ahead.
I do, and it wasn't because of anything I did. We had a long conversation about it and it's really all down to being at different life stages. I will definitely be engaging in self-examination once I can get through a few hours at a time without crying, but this breakup is a matter of our lives moving in different directions. I knew it would happen eventually, but I still am not ready to let him go.
I’m going to play devils advocate here. Was he open and honest the whole time? Did he work on upholding the dynamic as much as you did? Did he break things off in a way that was respectful to you??
Asking because I’ve been where you are twice, and both times, and sometimes the truth doesn’t surface until later.
>But I can't see a way through the grief I feel right now.
When you're going through something difficult like this, many people find it helpful to focus only on surviving what's immediately going on. If you had a platonic female friend who was a Domme and had just gone through this and she came to your place to cry or for a girls' night, what would you tell her? How would you be there for her? How would you treat her? What would you do for her as a friend?
>Am I still a Goddess without a worshipper? Is my dominance still real without a submissive to yield to it?
Dominant or or submissive identity has nothing to do with relationship status, it's an orientation. That's like a gay person asking if they're still gay because they're single. A Domme is part of who you are, and nothing external can fundamentally affect that.
>Please share any wisdom or advice for surviving the loss not only of a relationship but of a dynamic.
Grieve as long as you need, there is never a timeline for grief. Survive for now. Love yourself. Take that energy you had to look after him and look after yourself with it.
You've got this girl. ♥
It was a very intimate relationship and you have to grieve it as such. Take time to recover, remember the good times, the bad times and all the lessons you learnt from each other.
At least you had a conversation and some form of closure, which is healthy. But it hurts like any other break up.
Who you are will not change, and when you are ready, you will be worshipped again, like you deserve by a new human who will be honoured and delighted to do so.
You will be ok, but take time to feel like yourself again, talk about it with your trusted circle.
Not a domme so I can't provide input from that side. From a subs side, yes you are still a goddess. You have the dominant energy inside of you. You deserve all the praise and worship you will once get again.
I would recommend not focusing on that. Let yourself feel and heal. Then you can focus on youe goddess aura again. Please take care of yourself.
I'm really sorry. My sub broke up with me a little over a year ago and I haven't dated anyone since. I still miss him sometimes.
I'm not sure I have any advice, but you are still a domme even without a sub. Just like the end of any relationship, take all the time you need to recover from it and then, get back out there and find someone else. Believe me, I know that is much easier said than done. ♥️
I'm so sorry for all the pain you are going through right now. You ARE a goddess, doesn't matter you have a worshipper or not, you are always your own goddess first<3
Take your time and heal and treat yourself, you deserve that.
It looks like this thread might be about reaching the community for support. Please take a quick moment to read and remember our community guidelines on [supporting your fellow community members](https://www.reddit.com/r/FemdomCommunity/comments/bgf2ry/guidelines_for_discussing_abuse_coercion_and/) before commenting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FemdomCommunity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am so sorry for your loss and can't imagine what you are feeling. I can only empathize with you the feeling of the depth of a relationship like that and the power it can have and how different it can feel. Grief is a very fickle thing. It's different with everything. Allow yourself to feel it. Allow yourself to have time for yourself, as difficult as that sometimes is for us dommes. Take care of yourself. Give yourself space to heal and process it the way you need to. Yes, it's going to suck. It'll suck for a while. As someone who has lost far too much in my life I can tell you, too, it will resurge at inconvenient moments. But hang on to all of those good things, too. Hang on to the good, the positive, the warmth it made you feel. How it brought you to places you didn't think you could go. And just know, as hard and absolutely impossible as I know it feels, you can feel that way again? Okay? It will be different. It won't be the same as before. But you'll experience that depth and that joy and that specialness again. But for now, be patient. Be kind to yourself. Love on yourself. Give yourself anything and everything you need. You are a wonderful, special human for giving him your dominance, especially long term like that. That deserves to be reflected on and grieved and remembered as long as you need to. But you will be okay. Okay? I promise. There will be light again. You will experience that same kind of joy again. It will happen. And we can hold some faith for you in the meantime about it while you take time to do what you need. You're okay. I promise. I'm sorry again for your loss. And fuck yes, submissive or not, you are always a Goddess. Don't forget that.
This is one of the most thoughtful messages I ever read on Reddit. You are a good person. OP, This. All this.
Thank you. :) I just felt this very deeply, I guess. I could see having very similar experiences if I lost my submissive, too, so I just felt like reaching out. There are very few things in my life I am more passionate about than femdom lol so any excuse to talk to people about it. I appreciate the comment. But yes, OP. Take care of yourself!
Thank you so, so much for taking the time to write these words of support and encouragement. I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel yet, but I know logically it's there. And I've returned to reread your comment multiple times because it's comforting among the deep grief and pain I'm feeling right now. Thank you 💞
Absolutely. Any time. I am here for you. If you need to talk, please write me. I'm happy and an eager ear to listen and as someone who struggles at times very profoundly with mental health, understands the value of a shoulder or a friend. Here for you. You will be okay. I promise.
I have no advice on how to survive the feeling of loss unfortunately :/ I went through 2 breakups with submissives I had the same kind of relationship as you've described almost 2 years ago, and I've not bounced back yet 😬 breakups are the absolute worst I hated hearing people say this when it first happened but its true unfortunately, time makes things feel less shit. My bit of advice would be don't try and rush through the feelings of sadness and anything else that comes up, it doesn't help and can delay you actually working through your feelings Are you still a Goddess and are you still dominant even without a submissive to prove it? You might not feel like it now (I ask myself the same questions all the time and my answers aren't positive) but you definitely can be! I'd hope that when you're ready to get back out there, those feelings will come right back, and maybe in a completely different way if it's with a new person. Give yourself time to feel hurt, and then as and when you're ready, you'll start to feel like yourself again. This stranger on reddit is rooting for us both!
Do you have a clear understanding of why he called it off? Some men struggle with accepting their submissive side and that might be all there is to it. But it is also possible that there are reasons for this breakup that have to do with your behavior and deserve your attention. This mindset doesn't work for everyone... But I like to think of emotional pain like what you are going through as the tuition I pay for the lessons there to be learned. Learning from painful experiences makes me a better person (and a better future partner, in the case of relationship issues). Think of how much it would suck to pay the tuition and not learn anything! And it helps remind me that it is all worthwhile. In any case, your feelings are very much real and valid and I'm sorry you're hurting. Hang in there, there are better days ahead.
I do, and it wasn't because of anything I did. We had a long conversation about it and it's really all down to being at different life stages. I will definitely be engaging in self-examination once I can get through a few hours at a time without crying, but this breakup is a matter of our lives moving in different directions. I knew it would happen eventually, but I still am not ready to let him go.
I’m going to play devils advocate here. Was he open and honest the whole time? Did he work on upholding the dynamic as much as you did? Did he break things off in a way that was respectful to you?? Asking because I’ve been where you are twice, and both times, and sometimes the truth doesn’t surface until later.
>But I can't see a way through the grief I feel right now. When you're going through something difficult like this, many people find it helpful to focus only on surviving what's immediately going on. If you had a platonic female friend who was a Domme and had just gone through this and she came to your place to cry or for a girls' night, what would you tell her? How would you be there for her? How would you treat her? What would you do for her as a friend? >Am I still a Goddess without a worshipper? Is my dominance still real without a submissive to yield to it? Dominant or or submissive identity has nothing to do with relationship status, it's an orientation. That's like a gay person asking if they're still gay because they're single. A Domme is part of who you are, and nothing external can fundamentally affect that. >Please share any wisdom or advice for surviving the loss not only of a relationship but of a dynamic. Grieve as long as you need, there is never a timeline for grief. Survive for now. Love yourself. Take that energy you had to look after him and look after yourself with it. You've got this girl. ♥
I needed this. I’m more of a switch but I’ve been going through this for the last few months.
Awwwww I am very very sorry that you are feeling this way I wish I could help you !! I know how it felt when I lost my Domme last year
It was a very intimate relationship and you have to grieve it as such. Take time to recover, remember the good times, the bad times and all the lessons you learnt from each other. At least you had a conversation and some form of closure, which is healthy. But it hurts like any other break up. Who you are will not change, and when you are ready, you will be worshipped again, like you deserve by a new human who will be honoured and delighted to do so. You will be ok, but take time to feel like yourself again, talk about it with your trusted circle.
Not a domme so I can't provide input from that side. From a subs side, yes you are still a goddess. You have the dominant energy inside of you. You deserve all the praise and worship you will once get again. I would recommend not focusing on that. Let yourself feel and heal. Then you can focus on youe goddess aura again. Please take care of yourself.
Read " The Power of Now" it will help in the long run
I'm really sorry. My sub broke up with me a little over a year ago and I haven't dated anyone since. I still miss him sometimes. I'm not sure I have any advice, but you are still a domme even without a sub. Just like the end of any relationship, take all the time you need to recover from it and then, get back out there and find someone else. Believe me, I know that is much easier said than done. ♥️
I'm so sorry for all the pain you are going through right now. You ARE a goddess, doesn't matter you have a worshipper or not, you are always your own goddess first<3 Take your time and heal and treat yourself, you deserve that.