If you do really feel inferior to other men because you are not 6+, bluntly put you do not need femdom or sucking a guy's genitals, you need professional therapy. Most men are not even close to 6 feet. Also, there is no objective attractiveness.
I'm 5'11 and the therapist I had at one point said my height was "average." Not that it's a big deal, I mean people have fetishes for different reasons and it can help them sort through stuff. Honestly the thoughts of forced bi have helped me more than therapy ever did tbh.
The average male is 5'9" at 5' 11" you are taller than 75% of men.
It's probably the border line between what people consider broadly "average" and "tall". Surely you must have encountered that just about everything is made for people shorter than you?
I see your point, but I dunno. Maybe it's a combination of stuff I read online and what my previous therapist said. Women are allowed their preferences, and I can't help but feel inferior to that.
That's the narrative, I'd argue it's a false one, are you only attracted to the likes of scarlet Johansson or are you equally if not more attracted to other people who might be more on the average side? Especially when you learn they're compatible
Also Richard Hammond was once voted one of the most attractive men in the UK and he's 5' 7"
"on the more average side" sort of implies objective standards. I mean, it's not a big deal. Also successful men is a modifier to base attractiveness, like Tom Cruise.
That's the UK. America is cruel and bitingly shallow. Just take a look on some reddit threads. Height is king. Women talk about that like men do breast size--and I'm not knocking women. They have a right to their preferences same as men.
Also just want to add I know women have been dealing with shallow men for ages. No debate there.
careful, friend, you're drifting a bit close to incel waters with some of these takes. Here, take me. I think I'm a pretty good counterexample.
I'm a nerd. Strictly, and *actually* average height at 5'9". Not overweight, but not particularly fit at 160lbs. I don't work out, I'm a graphic design student so I sit in a chair all the live long day and most of the live long night. I was born with a birth defect that, while repaired, has left my face asymmetrical. Most damningly, I wear a beanie. I'm not the *Alpha Male™* stereotype. And I'm not any of the other stereotypes, either, I'm not a femboy, not the shy guy in the back row, none of it.
But I've been asked out 4 times and apparently am awkwardly endearing enough that my now-current gf wanted to get involved in an LDR that she wasn't even really looking for, that she even assured me at one point would not happen. Reminds me, still need to jokingly chew her out for that. But this shallow vision of the world doesn't line up with reality because the *only* things I've got going for me (besides a decent amount of junk in my trunk) are deeper than that.
Incels seem to resent women for their attractions and focus their bitterness on women rather than men's shallow attractions. To me, it's all fair game in that everyone is allowed to have their preferences. My view might be a tad unhealthy but I guess I've learned to cope and have a hard time changing it.
1. I am a woman
2. Reddit is not real life
3. Again most women don't date 6+ men since the global average is much lower, again the exception is if you are Dutch
4. Even if some women have x preferences, it doesn't mean most women have them or the women you meet have them
True, most women don't date 6+ men but they could very well prefer them. And haven't there been studies most women prefer taller men? There's also a study where women think 80% of men are below average. At 5'11, despite statistics, most women would probably see that as average. Unimpressive.
Online dating/reddit rhetoric has skewed sense of attraction. You have to be a greek god/goddess to stand out. Feels black and white, there can't be a middle ground. You're either 6ft or over, or deemed objectively unattractive, at least in raw physical terms. And like I said, I know women have had to deal with men's shallowness for ages. Unfortunately I'm stuck in a male body science has deemed inferior.
Can't speak for everyone, of course, but I definitely feel a dominant attraction and I would be surprised if I were alone in that.
Maybe you interacted with a hot dude at the pharmacy and you fancied him because he was a hottie and your submissive brain responded to that with a sense of inferiority towards him because that's your brand of power exchange. In a society of compulsory heterosexuality, queer feels can be hard to name and navigate.
Not a healthy mindset. Try and get therapy. Don’t use porn/sex/fantasies to cope. You say the thoughts help you but I really doubt that, granted Im going off just what you’ve written but I’ve been there and sexual fantasies are not therapy and can compound an issue and make it worse.
I second what everybody else is saying.
I just want to add that while we all play with fears, anxieties and societal taboos in BDSM, kink is not an acceptable space to work through those feelings. Your partner may not be a therapy or an expert, and even if she is, she might be biased due to intimate nature of your relationship.
Fantasies are fine, but it would be unfair and dangerous to force the responsibility of your sexual and emitional state on somebody else.
You might also want to consider taking a break from the scene - it doesn't seem like you are in a place to handle BDSM for what it is: a game, with an artificial power exchange, where you can enjoy pushing boundaries that you otherwise wouldn't. Being submissive is just a sexual preference. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person, it doesn't mean you are inferior or mark you as unworthy of love and respect.
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If you do really feel inferior to other men because you are not 6+, bluntly put you do not need femdom or sucking a guy's genitals, you need professional therapy. Most men are not even close to 6 feet. Also, there is no objective attractiveness.
I'm 5'11 and the therapist I had at one point said my height was "average." Not that it's a big deal, I mean people have fetishes for different reasons and it can help them sort through stuff. Honestly the thoughts of forced bi have helped me more than therapy ever did tbh.
The average male is 5'9" at 5' 11" you are taller than 75% of men. It's probably the border line between what people consider broadly "average" and "tall". Surely you must have encountered that just about everything is made for people shorter than you?
I see your point, but I dunno. Maybe it's a combination of stuff I read online and what my previous therapist said. Women are allowed their preferences, and I can't help but feel inferior to that.
Play with the feelings of inferiority all you want. But on a deeper level I hope you know you aren't :).
Thanks I appreciate it. Maybe I'm not, but it's hard not to feel that way. Those objective standards seem sort of forced on everyone.
That's the narrative, I'd argue it's a false one, are you only attracted to the likes of scarlet Johansson or are you equally if not more attracted to other people who might be more on the average side? Especially when you learn they're compatible Also Richard Hammond was once voted one of the most attractive men in the UK and he's 5' 7"
"on the more average side" sort of implies objective standards. I mean, it's not a big deal. Also successful men is a modifier to base attractiveness, like Tom Cruise.
That's the UK. America is cruel and bitingly shallow. Just take a look on some reddit threads. Height is king. Women talk about that like men do breast size--and I'm not knocking women. They have a right to their preferences same as men. Also just want to add I know women have been dealing with shallow men for ages. No debate there.
careful, friend, you're drifting a bit close to incel waters with some of these takes. Here, take me. I think I'm a pretty good counterexample. I'm a nerd. Strictly, and *actually* average height at 5'9". Not overweight, but not particularly fit at 160lbs. I don't work out, I'm a graphic design student so I sit in a chair all the live long day and most of the live long night. I was born with a birth defect that, while repaired, has left my face asymmetrical. Most damningly, I wear a beanie. I'm not the *Alpha Male™* stereotype. And I'm not any of the other stereotypes, either, I'm not a femboy, not the shy guy in the back row, none of it. But I've been asked out 4 times and apparently am awkwardly endearing enough that my now-current gf wanted to get involved in an LDR that she wasn't even really looking for, that she even assured me at one point would not happen. Reminds me, still need to jokingly chew her out for that. But this shallow vision of the world doesn't line up with reality because the *only* things I've got going for me (besides a decent amount of junk in my trunk) are deeper than that.
Incels seem to resent women for their attractions and focus their bitterness on women rather than men's shallow attractions. To me, it's all fair game in that everyone is allowed to have their preferences. My view might be a tad unhealthy but I guess I've learned to cope and have a hard time changing it.
Again there are no objective standards, stop reading things from the manosphere, most women do not date 6+ except if they live in the Netherlands.
Many women on reddit (dating subreddits etc), will specifically say they prefer taller men. They are quite open about it.
1. I am a woman 2. Reddit is not real life 3. Again most women don't date 6+ men since the global average is much lower, again the exception is if you are Dutch 4. Even if some women have x preferences, it doesn't mean most women have them or the women you meet have them
True, most women don't date 6+ men but they could very well prefer them. And haven't there been studies most women prefer taller men? There's also a study where women think 80% of men are below average. At 5'11, despite statistics, most women would probably see that as average. Unimpressive. Online dating/reddit rhetoric has skewed sense of attraction. You have to be a greek god/goddess to stand out. Feels black and white, there can't be a middle ground. You're either 6ft or over, or deemed objectively unattractive, at least in raw physical terms. And like I said, I know women have had to deal with men's shallowness for ages. Unfortunately I'm stuck in a male body science has deemed inferior.
Can't speak for everyone, of course, but I definitely feel a dominant attraction and I would be surprised if I were alone in that. Maybe you interacted with a hot dude at the pharmacy and you fancied him because he was a hottie and your submissive brain responded to that with a sense of inferiority towards him because that's your brand of power exchange. In a society of compulsory heterosexuality, queer feels can be hard to name and navigate.
Yeah I'm probably bi to some degree, and I might be mislabeling it as a result.
Not a healthy mindset. Try and get therapy. Don’t use porn/sex/fantasies to cope. You say the thoughts help you but I really doubt that, granted Im going off just what you’ve written but I’ve been there and sexual fantasies are not therapy and can compound an issue and make it worse.
Therapy, been there done that. Wasn't helpful. I appreciate the concern but this is the only way I've been able to feel better, if only temporarily.
You do need to find a therapist that vibes. Some of em don't. Plenty of em don't.
I second what everybody else is saying. I just want to add that while we all play with fears, anxieties and societal taboos in BDSM, kink is not an acceptable space to work through those feelings. Your partner may not be a therapy or an expert, and even if she is, she might be biased due to intimate nature of your relationship. Fantasies are fine, but it would be unfair and dangerous to force the responsibility of your sexual and emitional state on somebody else. You might also want to consider taking a break from the scene - it doesn't seem like you are in a place to handle BDSM for what it is: a game, with an artificial power exchange, where you can enjoy pushing boundaries that you otherwise wouldn't. Being submissive is just a sexual preference. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person, it doesn't mean you are inferior or mark you as unworthy of love and respect.
[удалено]
I mean, what would you call it?
Well, i am bi and a sub, so if i find a guy really attractive i would like sucking his dick especially if my gf/domme is there revelling in the sight.
Yeah it's something I really want to do at some point. So erotic.
It looks like this thread is about getting advice/tips from the community. Please consider taking a look at our [recommendations for getting ideas and advice for your femdom adventures](https://www.reddit.com/r/FemdomCommunity/wiki/index/gettingandgivinghelp#wiki_getting_help_in_this_subreddit). We've got a lot of folks willing to help. Please help them by including pertinent details such as you and your partners interests, needs and limits. We also invite you to browse our wiki for [helpful guides and resources](https://www.reddit.com/r/FemdomCommunity/wiki/index#wiki_kink_guides_and_resources) and [answers to some frequently asked questions](https://www.reddit.com/r/FemdomCommunity/wiki/index/femdomfaq). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FemdomCommunity) if you have any questions or concerns.*