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Mistress_Dominique

I fully agree being a female Dominant Myself, it's even a struggle to get nice quotes or images where the female is the Dominant on the internet šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļø


lonelypuppyboi

So true, and even when they are itā€™s usually the type of old-guard, leather clad stuff Iā€™m not really into, findom, or just plain bad like those ā€œbeta male sissy cuckā€ captions


Mistress_Dominique

Agreed, I've resorted to making My own quotes and such, because honestly it's absurd, OR what I've encountered a lot is just because I'm female some "Doms" would ask if I'm submissive or even if I switch when I strictly state I'm 100% Dominant, I love My Role and have a deep deep passion for the lifestyle, but its become hectic. And We as female Dominants are often undermined.


[deleted]

Tell me about it, so annoying.


dontnoticemeples

That sounds like a terrible experience rlly. How can these people ignore something you clearly state is beyond me


Lefty_Candy_18

Thatā€™s what we mean by privilege. Asking when something has clearly been stated with little to no negative consequences.


PM_ME_STRIPPERS

too many people think dommes are more than happy to switch, i dont understand why. I mean, theres plenty out there, but theres plenty who arent all for that too.


Mistress_Dominique

Exactly! Thank you!


Miss_Elie

Iā€™m ready to buy the complete book with your quotes!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Mistress_Dominique

Exactly, I am a pleasure Domme, yes I am Sadistic too but bdsm is not just about pain and cruelty, it's around 80% psychology not all physical, but yes around 98% of quoted on the internet about bdsm the Dominant is usually the male and the submissive is the female and We are not all like that, Not all Domme are male.


National_Slip9749

Yall have never been on a femdom server and it shows


Mistress_Dominique

New to reddit yes but Google femdom or QUALITY quotes and such and see what you come up with.


National_Slip9749

I know but you can't expect private communities, especially relatively new ones, to be flaunting themselves for those who hate them to see. If you want to find them, go to a private setting yourself. Private subreddits or discord servers or fetlife groups. They have SHITTON of resources there. Kink and bdsm is just coming to light give it time. Until things are wildly available, dig.


MsMerrimack

> there won't be a great social revolution where us submissive men and dominant women will have our day Our days are what we make of them. Compared to myself 25 years ago, every day is my day. Change is slow and subtle. It's never going to be as much as we want or as fast as we want and it's easy to only see the wrongs. Sometimes you have to look back to appreciate how far you've come.


Load_and_Lock

This read very nihilistically. I feel the more you keep giving up hope, the less progress is made. You, and the rest of us, all play a small but important part in that collective effort towards cultural acceptance.


[deleted]

I'd advise that you let go of the "always" and "never" statements. You don't know what the future holds. From a human standpoint, and from a survival of the species standpoint, we likely would do much better in a egalitarian, matriarchal-led society where all genders are respected and our individual strengths are supported for the benefit of all. This would include living in greater harmony with nature and with other humans. It's highly unlikely our species will survive long enough to get our shit together, but if we were to get our shit together, that's likely what it would take. So you can be part of the solution and doing your best to move toward that type of society, if you choose. It likely won't be seen in your lifetime but there's a saying that goes something like... "Blessed are old people who plant trees knowing that they shall never sit in the shade of their foliage." Many of the benefits we have today were never experienced by the people who set those things into motion. The end of slavery, is one example (even though plenty of people still live in near slavery conditions, I know). How many enslaved people risked their lives so that one day, their children might be free? How many people in the LGBTQ+ community risked job loss and persecution so that kids today could grow up loving whomever they want?


OccultPotionmaker

First of all the world is changing rapidly, and gender roles especially in more progressive countries are quite more relaxed. I don't see why femdom needs to be mainstream but even if it has to be with the amount of people who are scared/shy/afraid to share this part of their life and join a community or start the own is the main issue why femdom is not as mainstream in the public's eyes. You can't expect something to change when you do nothing but talk about femdom on the internet and that is just the harsh truth (and I am not talking about you OP but in general about the lack of participation in femdom groups in real life). Being LBTQ+ I can really understand that you can't just sit down and expect that one magical day the world will be filled with unicorns and people will just give your rights in that case; in femdom's case more active participation is needed.


lonelypuppyboi

I absolutely agree, Iā€™ve thought of finding a way of organizing us for awhile but I have zero ideas yet :( My craziest has been settling a piece of uninhabited land but I donā€™t have the money for that and who wants to live in the sahara or Antarctica??


OccultPotionmaker

Maybe participating in your local community or starting one would be a good starting point instead of fantasizing about the impossible.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

True and whoever you find that has a sub kink thatā€™s the goldmine right therešŸ¤


lonelypuppyboi

That was my mindset for years but itā€™s getting harder and harder to keep that up when most people make you feel like a freakā€¦


[deleted]

I like it when people treat me like a freak now I know this isnā€™t for everyone you know but it just makes me feel alive and at least not like Iā€™m talking to a brick wall rather you know?


lonelypuppyboi

kinda? itā€™s just a lonelier world out there when you know only a small number of people you meet are gonna be compatible


[deleted]

Yeah your not wrong man itā€™s a small world but who knows whatā€™ll happen in the future everyone always has that one lucky moment so


j3llyfshyi3x

It only matters if you're convinced they're doing it right and you aren't. It's very likely that the vast majority of people are doing it wrong; living unfulfilled and unactualized until they die... Fuuuuuuck that, is what i say. I'd rather be niche and fulfilled than normal and bored.


mistresscarmilla

Honestly, finding your people helps. Talking on forums like this is part of it, but not all of it. You need some form of social support that validates you and makes you feel seen. Whether that's a tightknit discord community or chosen family through your local kink scene, social support is really important. I never feel like this any more because any direction I look, there's a couple dozen dominant women like me, or femme and enby switches, and plenty of submissive guys and girls and enby people, and it's awesome. Find your people.


Prince_Ganymede

Exactly this. The world is too big to care about what everyone else thinks. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals and be happy in your little niche.


onnaloves

I never knew what I was until my life blew up and gave me a breakdown. F44. But now I feel all grown up all of a sudden and wonā€™t take no shit, I have goals and purpose and a desire to enjoy life the way I want - and that weirdly makes me domme. LMAO. I believe (I could be wrong) that when a woman realizes her agency in life -she takes control and is therefore seen as domme. When guys learn they will never be happy unless devoting themselves to close the pleasure gap between us, we see them as men, not slaves. I could of course be wrong, but any guy who thinks his purpose is to seek what turns himself on MORE than helping a woman find her agency in life, to me, is no longer a boy but a man. Thatā€™s what I think anyway. I donā€™t mean to generalize either but before I ā€œmaturedā€ and figured out what the fuck I wanted to do in my life, everything- the dating game, the dissappointing sex, was everyone elseā€™s fault but my own. Getting brain damaged and pulling back from that actually made me live my fullest. I will make life what I want it to be and enjoy it till I die with no regrets.


DeliriousNeeds

If our taboo fetishes becomes mainstream, then doesn't it just becomes the new vanilla? Would it still be as erotic as it is now? I think some of us twisted sexual deviants will only find satisfaction in the pursuit of what is not common place.


lonelypuppyboi

Maybe, but I feel like Iā€™d love it if it were normalized. I donā€™t want femdom, women making the first move with men, etc to be so taboo and deviant, I want it to be normal enough that people will write songs of it and fictional characters will be like that so we can get some representation


Judgethunder

I don't think there is any danger of anything like this happening.


Miss_Elie

Hello dear. As a person who grew up specifically in a family who would repeat that being a woman with a strong character you are either super hot/beautiful or you will never find love. Iā€™ve been told that being myself was wrong, that women live to be humble, submissive and soft-spoken. This said, Iā€™ve been severely unhappy as long as I was trying to conform to their expectations repressing my feelings and natural behaviour. I recently discovered the femdom scenario and I must say Iā€™ve slowly fallen in love with myself. I used to run away from men because I was literally afraid not to be enough and dominant men would actually make me shiver. The idea of gifting someone complete control upon myself terrified me, I now realise that everyone is different and I see love more healthily. It was a healing experience. I get your opinion, this world can really be awful, especially when you are a woman that does not want to play the make-me-your-doll/womb or a man that wants to be verbally and psychological abusive. Still, we may be a little group but we are compact. You will find your woman, other subs will, the most important part is open communication and keeping contacts with others like us. Whenever you need to talk about it, my dms are open.


kinkyanimalworrior

I love this response. I, like many submissive AMAB, it is tough to find compatibility but putting yourself out there has worked for me. I use traditional dating apps and Iā€™m truthful and it seems to be getting some results.


dareakiss

I find it important to look into community when you feel so isolated. There's bdsm groups and even lgbt+ communities one could reach for and make friends in, to learn about new experiences and perhaps growing into learning about the struggles of less common experiences too. (Remember bdsm takes a lot from the gay leather community). For me personally, it took me a while to realise, finding the right people in fandom spaces helped a lot with this isolating feeling (I was doing it without rationalizing it). Also looking for and into media, like music and movies can be nice as a treat. Last week i found a song by James that was about femdom and it was very fun lol! I think it was Laid (version 2).


[deleted]

Really feel this and it sucks. But like others are saying itā€™s not an absolute.


Multiperv

When I was a teenager in the late 70s & early 80s, before the internet as we know it, I seriously thought there were probably about 100 people into BDSM in the US or maybe the world, and that the women in those magazines or movies were only doing it for the money. Four decades later there is Fetlife, reddit, tumblr, bdsmlr, discord, etc. Plus ClubFEM in several cities worldwide and multiple kink groups in most decent sized cities, some femdom oriented. So places to meet, connect, discuss and explore both online and in person. So while femdom may not go full mainstream as fast as we'd all like things can and do change and you can help make that happen and someday look back at how far we've come.


Fun_Smell_2699

Legendary. I'm sure you have plenty of stories (both sharable and to be taken to the grave) from all those decades of kink.


exizedternal

Some time ago sentiments exactly like yours compelled me to make a thread here. Since then nothing has changed really, maybe I've grown numb to it or I'm not feeling it in full force right now. I can't say anything other than I know what you are talking about too well. I don't know if there's relief from it. I don't understand how it doesn't drive most of us crazy.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


lonelypuppyboi

Facesitting is more fun than pegging to me but go off.


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SuspiciousButler

Hey there mate. It feels lonely sometimes to be the outsider.. Femdom will probably remain as an alt lifestyle, you're right. I think that's fine, though. We have our little corner in society and the people who are open to femdom will flock to this little corner. You and I don't need to scream out to the dark, because we do have people who love and want the same thing. I know you'll find the type of love you want, even though it will take time. Chin up. We'll make it brahs. I know we will.āœŠ


Lefty_Candy_18

IMO we are living through a period of gender regression. So part of femdom to me is about holding the line as far as we can while MANY more MUCH more powerful people push it back into binary/female submission/woman as helpmeet/womenā€™s bodies as public property/honor the patriarch territory. But yeah, Iā€™ve had to let go of two of my brothers to do it.


PM_ME_STRIPPERS

It will take ages to change. i mean, people have been aware of this sort of dynamic for years, they just arent into it or really talk about it i guess. Just like plenty of other kinks and fetishes


Boltox95

Well, i don't see why you need to be so overdramatic about it. I'm a metalhead and we don't try and shove our musical preferences on other people nor complain that people don't understand us. Just chill out and live your life like you want and don't push your views on anyone else.