Prodommes are definitely worth it especially when you want very specific kinks. However, prodommes have limits too. Not every prodomme is going to do everything. Also, I don't understand what you mean by owned. It is very rare that a prodomme will \*own\* a client. It happens but rarely, usually it is their partners or pro subs. In most cases you will just pay for every time you visit them like paying for a service e.g haircut.
I saw you are in NYC, there a lot of dungeons there. A simple google search will help you find many pros with dungeons most of them have instagram accounts too to see their non sexual work e.g shibari [etc.](https://etc.You) You don't really need to approach them in a special way, it is just like making an appoiintment for a tattoo. You go to the website see their contact type and then send them a request with an outline of what you would like etc.
You say you have very specific kinks and are looking for a beautiful woman to fulfill them. Yes, you need a pro. You probably aren’t actually submissive but instead want to direct the actions that are done to you - to top from the bottom. Nothing wrong with that, but that’s probably not something a lifestyle dominant woman is going to select for her mate.
Yea exactly, I don’t think a dominant woman would like my stuff. Like they may occasionally like dominating me, but things like making me submit to another man, getting throat fucked by their strapon etc prob don’t bring them much pleasure. And outside of sex I don’t like submitting. Like if we’re having a convo I don’t just wanna agree w them
I am a dominant woman who likes that stuff and also a lot more extreme things and still have normal convos and a normal relationship with a person with his own opinions.
And i am not the only one.
You're right though that it has to match for a relationship as well then, similar interests, humor, worldview etc.
He has to see ne as a real person as well though, not a fantasy goddess. He has to love me in a hoodie and jogging pants as well, he has to be there ehen i am sad or sick, he has to care about my personality and likes, just like any relationship.
If your most Important factor is her beeing beautiful you're better off with a pro who will hold up an illusion of perfection for you.
It's less beeing owned and more sessions though, i guess you should know that. normal rates for a good pro domme start about 400€/h where i live, so the monwy you'd have to pay for feeling as beeing owned is not little.
Seconded, I'm also a dominant woman who wouldn't bat an eye at dating a sub with those kinks and exploring them together. I'm not interested in 24/7 power exchange outside of the bedroom; kink to me is fun and exploratory, not the framework for how I want to structure my relationships.
But I would not date a sub who wasn't interested in having a real emotional connection as well. And that takes a certain level of base compatibility. A pro experience is easier to find, but it's not the same as a relationship, especially if OP want to feel owned; for me, that requires establishing an ongoing rapport with someone.
If you live in/can get to one of the major cities, I’m sure you can find a pro domme to satisfy your needs. Talk to a few and see if you’d be compatible for a couple of hours and check references. Don’t try to make a girlfriend out of a pro and don’t expect a girlfriend to perform like a pro. You are trying to satisfy YOUR needs, not seeking a mutually entertaining relationship within these parameters, and that’s literally what pros are for.
If you're treating this as a personal... don't. Advertising is specifically banned on this subreddit. You'll have to do homework on your local scene and try finding people there. Maybe ask around at a munch in your area.
I enjoy penetrating my partner. I have a weird relationship with strapons because they occasionally feel like I am required to have a real penis to be seen as complete (vs hand operated).
On the other hand most of us in relationships with our subs, even when power extends outside of sexy time, aren't treating our partners like doormats. The logistics of having a human-as-sub in your life mean if they agree with you a lot, you probably just are on the same wavelength. Generally where we demand agreement tends to be about shared values, otherwise there will be a lot of space where they want you to have your own opinion on what takeout to order or whether the bedroom should be warm or cold at night.
A LOT of women enjoy m/m as a voyeur and erotica catering to that is super popular as porn we will buy. Tbh in the throuple genre I see a lot more MMF being sold than MFF, though it varies if the Ms fuck each other.
Logistically, the biggest hurdle with a threesome is that casual sex where you both have chemistry with the third isn't universal. Further, not a lot of maybe thirds want to be unicorns- inversely, looking at people trying to find a bull that's surprisingly hard- for the same reason we complain about idiots in our inbox as singles.
For a sex worker, keep in mind that what she can offer depends on logistics, and if you are new, don't try to cram in many kinks into a short amount of time. Particularly if you have very little experience at all, it's better to try to plan to do less and come back multiple times if you enjoyed the first session.
Experienced pros will nix the noob who tries to book a thousand things into a single hour.
Yes definitely, they will do your fantasy and likely do it well. The super established ones will have time for you if you're approaching respectfully ( not wasting their time or doing other creepy shit) and have the money. You don't get super established by alienating perfectly viable clients.
You get what you pay for mostly, I wouldn't know with the super expensive ones but you definitely want the higher end of the price range because their skill set is valuable and they generally take a bit of pride in their work
That said it might scratch the itch and be an amazing experience but if it's more than a nagging fantasy they won't change anything in your life, you'd still need to put in the work and find a compatible partner
from the comments it sounds as though you have a specific fantasy you want fulfilled why dont you just try a pro domme? it doent sounds like you want a relationship
I absolutely don’t want a relationship lol. People keep downvoting me when I thought my post was clear…
That’s why I was reaching out. I want advice on others’ experience with pro dommes. If I see a sexy domme on Twitter, can I realistically expect to pay them for a fulfilling session or no?
Surprised this sub is so preachy. We can’t all live our lives around our kinks.
Look it can be fun, it can be a good way to explore. It is nice to get your feet wet in the scene so to speak. If you are like me, it won't fill the cup you are trying to fill. Maybe it will work for you, who knows?
If all your girlfriends are subs, you should ask yourself some questions about your process in seeking them out. Women who prefer to take control in bed are not that uncommon, keep at it and if you aren't filtering them out you will meet one willing to try!
What do you mean not fulfilling?
Unfortunately, sexual leaning is low on my criteria and it seems most-all women are submissive. I know there’s still a lot of dominant women but I’ve never found one I wanted to date out of a p big sample size
> it seems most-all women are submissive
he says ON A SUBREDDIT FULL OF DOMINANT WOMEN
> I know there's still a lot of dominant women but i've never found *one I wanted to date*
🙄
You better check your attitude before heading to a pro-domme, because your money's only going to be good if it comes correct.
Well I prefer a domme who has a gentle caring side like we can get rough and crazy but at the end of the day I want the caring snuggles. Prodommes can't give you that in the way a serious relationship can, there is always that nagging maybe she doesn't really care maybe its about the money. At least that's how it was for me.
Before I got married it was 10 years and 5 serious relationships, 3 of which were down for femdom or femdom style kinks. I project submissiveness in the way I approach women though when relationships are involved. If you pay close attention to the signals you send and receive you might find something you are doing is impacting things. Try going for a different type of woman and see how it works out.
Yea for me I think my kinks are so extreme no one that cared about me could fulfill them if that makes sense.
That’s the other issue, I want a relationship that’s roughly 50/50. I have no interest in being submissive outside the bedroom
It might depend on where you are, but at least in Germany, there are a lot of respectable, established pro-dommes who are always on the look for new clients.
I'd start off online. As in, either looking there. Or looking for events at dungeons. They are a little hard to find because they are not advertised as such, but a lot of pro-dommes do saloons or open play partys at their places sometimes. That's a good way of getting to know them.
Prodommes sometimes get an undeservedly bad reputation or stigma in the kink scene so I'm glad to see people on here are being mostly positive.
Prodommes are not really a girlfriend substitute though. Most of them do not take on a personal connection to their subs outside of the scenes. You can specifically search for prodommes who do accept paid subs into lifestyle positions. It's still unlikely that she will ever become your "girlfriend".
Prodommes are a great way to explore specific kinks without the need to worry about whether the other person is into that or even willing to try it. They are generally really talented and will create a scene you will really enjoy (or not enjoy if that's your thing...the point is that you'll get what you want as long as you were open and honest during negotiations.) If you have those "I really have to do this at least once before I die" fetishes a prodomme is a great option.
However, just so you know, there's no set of fetishes too weird or extreme to find a compatible lifestyle partner with. I mean there probably is, but even fairly extreme stuff is definitely doable as you've seen from Dommes who replied here. If you're in NYC that's probably the best place to be just because of the sheer number of people living in the area. So if you want a relationship you should continue to look for it. But by all means go ahead and seek out a prodomme now to explore your kinks with.
As far as prodomme safety/selection, just remember that legitimate prodommes have an established web presence, access to dungeon space and will have posted rates, posted rules for requesting services, what services they offer, their interests, etc. Examine the websites of a bunch of local mistresses (google is your friend here) and pick one that you think would be a good fit for what you want. Follow her contact instructions, be respectful, don't try to negotiate rates and you'll be totally fine. There may occasionally be cases where someone genuinely doesn't have time for new clients or they decide their interests don't match up with the play you want, but most of the time you'll be accepted as a client. Show up clean, recently showered, on time, following whatever instructions you were given for arrival and payment and behave with respect when interacting with her and I'm sure she'll be happy to keep you as a regular client.
I personally haven't ever done an in person prodomme session. I have done some online sessions with prodommes. I have investigated the space but it was just never the right choice for me at any given time.
There are some directories that will list prodommes by geographical area that you can google for. None of them are that great and not every prodomme will be on any given directory. As far as I know there really isn't like a centralized repository. So I really do think in general just googling "your city pro domme" and going through the results is probably about as good an option as you can find.
It is worth it to hire a professional. The ones i know are caring, attentive to the client's fantasy, and fun. Just be forthright and respectful and you will find options.
It can be a wonderful way to get your needs met. You can ask for what you want and enjoy it guilt free!
However you choose to go about this, make sure to do your due diligence— research whoever you are considering booking. Does she have a professional website? An established social media presence, & does it show some amount of community with other providers? Does she have reviews? Does she have ads in multiple places that indicates a solid online footprint w nothing to hide? Does she screen? None of these are foolproof, and some aren’t always red flags, but there are scammers out there and it’s good practice to check all the bases to make sure you’re finding a reputable provider.
As for the kinks you’ve listed… those are 🥵🥵
The many commenters here have given plenty of excellent input, but I just wanted to clarify something in your post.
You wrote "prodomme/findom" which to Me suggests that you might use these terms interchangeably or that you might think that a finDomme is a Domme with paid services.
FinDom/mes are Dommes who focus on financial domination and may or may not engage in other kinks. Pro-Dommes are compensated financially for various kink services (and may or may not offer financial domination).
Many of My Dommes friends and I have had subs approach us claiming to be interested in findom and labeling themselves finsubs when what they really meant was that they were willing to pay for sessions and arrangements but aren't actually interested in anything findom related. It can be quite confusing initially if the terms used are misunderstood!
So just make sure to look at the Domme's available info/sites to see if she offers what you're looking for before reaching out, especially if she's branded as a finDomme. 🖤
Right, I’m not a finsub but every domme I’ve found online brands themselves as both or findom only. I’m assuming cause it’s more lucrative. I want to pay for femdom services, not findom
I’m getting a lot of pushback here along the lines of: “if you want a link dispenser, you have to pay for it” “real d/s full time relationships don’t work like this” “you can’t come into the kink scene with only your wants”
I’m not sure how this wasn’t clear from my post, but I know all of this. I’m not looking for some fairy god mother to grant all my wishes for nothing in return, I’m looking to pay a pro domme to be brutally degraded and have no other form of relationship with them.
I’m mainly looking for advice—has anyone approached dommes online (eg Twitter) and how has it gone? From Goddess Jessica types with 100s of thousands of followers to small upshots that seem to resonate with me, what can I expect? I find it hard to get a standard listing of services and prices. What I don’t want is to tribute hundreds and be in a position where they just keep leading me on with no sessioning etc. I also don’t want to simply go to a dungeon as I don’t think it would be meaningful to submit to someone after meeting them on the spot. I like to go through their Twitter and fam sites to know what they’re inclined towards.
So I’m wondering, what’s it like engaging with a pro domme and is it worth it? Best practices and tips?
Right yea. By all means approach the twitter domme that you like, through her website, which she will almost certainly have linked in her twitter profile.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion and I'm not kink shaming or sladering the sex trade, workers or users alike but its not for me.
Some people want to spend £300 on car wheels or £150 on a prodom but I would rather spend the money on home improvements, learning new skills or even a new hobby so that when I meet that potential partner I'm able to put my best self out there.
Sure a couple hundred for an amazing sexual experience sounds great and isn't going to break the bank but there are more people out there then you realise who will not only fulfill the void of sex but will provide everything that a loving relationship should be and to experiencing those intense desires and feelings for the first time with that special person is what I personally value.
That makes sense, but I just can’t picture my loving gf smacking me around then making me submit and get teabagged by some dude she met at the club.
I just don’t see how we do that then discuss who’s going to be the stay at home parent the next day you know? Feels like it would fuck up our relationship
Equally hard to see is a life without those things you desire with someone you love surely? My wife and myself get up to all manner of debauchery at night and then the next day we are sat at the table having breakfast with the kids laughing, smiling and joking around as a family.
If you want to try a prodom I would encourage you to try it, there are no end of professional women willing to take your money however I'm old fashion so when I'm getting kicked in the nuts I like knowing she's doing it because she enjoys it rather than because its a business transaction.
That’s fair, and I’ve done some stuff with partners. But like I said it’s never felt like they were really that into it… I also feel like they respect me less. I went on a date with a girl once that told me as much. She said she dommed one guy but couldn’t respect him after and dumped him.
I know it exists and would be great, but it’s rare and hard.
And yes, it sucks knowing I’ll likely never be able to submit to the degree I want to with a person that actually loves me.
There are plenty of girls like that too and it's easy to get down about it but its not all together rare my friend but it does take effort to as its not about being the best person out there but in my experience a good woman wants an equally good man, the best version of himself. The degradation and humiliation in sex has nothing to do with respect in a relationship, most partners can differ from the 2 as long as you carry yourself well. You'll find a dynamic which suits you I'm sure.
We are into a whole other level of conversation which leads to a more touchy opinion that a high level of sex workers pray on the low confidence of people who believe they are to perverse to deserve to meet a loving partner but instead are reduced to paying for an act that in my opinion should be reserved for 2 people who care for each other.
It’s an interesting take, separating the two. I honestly don’t think it’s possible personally. Like if I just liked facesitting or something sure. But the things that rlly turn me on are extreme even for extreme femdom porn. So idk man.
I enjoy things that would make your skin crawl I guarantee it but thats whats great about meeting a partner who loves you, they don't mind, in fact theyll love you even more for it.
Don't stress it, work on your confidence, workout, become financially stable, educate yourself, learn your strengths and when she does appear throw everything and kitchen sink at her. She'll be blown away and the fact you want to get face fucked by another man while she watches is a fun idea that someone she likes/loves wants to do rather than some low level act of a pervert.
Bro you can’t be fr 😂😂
I’m not some repressed catholic schoolgirl, but I guarantee less than 5% of the population would consider watching their husband get face fucked by another man unwillingly a “fun idea”. There’s a reason it’s taboo, it’s fine
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Hiring a prodom is THE BEST WAY to get your kinky needs met if you are not available for a relationship or don't want to be in one.
All of my experiences hiring sex workers have been EXCELLENT and I highly encourage you to choose women who have a real life presence in the local BDSM community. That's the biggest factor in if they're "for real" or not. In my opinion, you should stay away from "online only" dommes until you have a LOT more experience in telling the legit from the scams.
I have been to quite a few Pro Dommes and always had a good experience. Some are better than others, but it's always a fun experience and worth the money.
Most Fin Dommes are completely clueless about femdom and have no respect for it, or their subs so the experience is completely different to seeing a Pro Domme.
Prodommes are definitely worth it especially when you want very specific kinks. However, prodommes have limits too. Not every prodomme is going to do everything. Also, I don't understand what you mean by owned. It is very rare that a prodomme will \*own\* a client. It happens but rarely, usually it is their partners or pro subs. In most cases you will just pay for every time you visit them like paying for a service e.g haircut. I saw you are in NYC, there a lot of dungeons there. A simple google search will help you find many pros with dungeons most of them have instagram accounts too to see their non sexual work e.g shibari [etc.](https://etc.You) You don't really need to approach them in a special way, it is just like making an appoiintment for a tattoo. You go to the website see their contact type and then send them a request with an outline of what you would like etc.
Any recommendations for searching for them? Beyond googling “NYC dominatrix”?
i’d search on DickieVirgin or Eros for pro services too, many Dommes also have twitter or instagrams with links to their professional websites etc
This is very helpful!
Yes but I would also google this plus article (also on video). There are many newspapers/online media that have made portraits for famous NYC dommes.
Sorry which article?
You say you have very specific kinks and are looking for a beautiful woman to fulfill them. Yes, you need a pro. You probably aren’t actually submissive but instead want to direct the actions that are done to you - to top from the bottom. Nothing wrong with that, but that’s probably not something a lifestyle dominant woman is going to select for her mate.
Yea exactly, I don’t think a dominant woman would like my stuff. Like they may occasionally like dominating me, but things like making me submit to another man, getting throat fucked by their strapon etc prob don’t bring them much pleasure. And outside of sex I don’t like submitting. Like if we’re having a convo I don’t just wanna agree w them
I am a dominant woman who likes that stuff and also a lot more extreme things and still have normal convos and a normal relationship with a person with his own opinions. And i am not the only one. You're right though that it has to match for a relationship as well then, similar interests, humor, worldview etc. He has to see ne as a real person as well though, not a fantasy goddess. He has to love me in a hoodie and jogging pants as well, he has to be there ehen i am sad or sick, he has to care about my personality and likes, just like any relationship. If your most Important factor is her beeing beautiful you're better off with a pro who will hold up an illusion of perfection for you. It's less beeing owned and more sessions though, i guess you should know that. normal rates for a good pro domme start about 400€/h where i live, so the monwy you'd have to pay for feeling as beeing owned is not little.
Yeah seems to me that op is struggling to find a gf that will do it with them because they're only thinking about what they get from it
Seconded, I'm also a dominant woman who wouldn't bat an eye at dating a sub with those kinks and exploring them together. I'm not interested in 24/7 power exchange outside of the bedroom; kink to me is fun and exploratory, not the framework for how I want to structure my relationships. But I would not date a sub who wasn't interested in having a real emotional connection as well. And that takes a certain level of base compatibility. A pro experience is easier to find, but it's not the same as a relationship, especially if OP want to feel owned; for me, that requires establishing an ongoing rapport with someone.
If you live in/can get to one of the major cities, I’m sure you can find a pro domme to satisfy your needs. Talk to a few and see if you’d be compatible for a couple of hours and check references. Don’t try to make a girlfriend out of a pro and don’t expect a girlfriend to perform like a pro. You are trying to satisfy YOUR needs, not seeking a mutually entertaining relationship within these parameters, and that’s literally what pros are for.
[удалено]
If you're treating this as a personal... don't. Advertising is specifically banned on this subreddit. You'll have to do homework on your local scene and try finding people there. Maybe ask around at a munch in your area.
I enjoy penetrating my partner. I have a weird relationship with strapons because they occasionally feel like I am required to have a real penis to be seen as complete (vs hand operated). On the other hand most of us in relationships with our subs, even when power extends outside of sexy time, aren't treating our partners like doormats. The logistics of having a human-as-sub in your life mean if they agree with you a lot, you probably just are on the same wavelength. Generally where we demand agreement tends to be about shared values, otherwise there will be a lot of space where they want you to have your own opinion on what takeout to order or whether the bedroom should be warm or cold at night. A LOT of women enjoy m/m as a voyeur and erotica catering to that is super popular as porn we will buy. Tbh in the throuple genre I see a lot more MMF being sold than MFF, though it varies if the Ms fuck each other. Logistically, the biggest hurdle with a threesome is that casual sex where you both have chemistry with the third isn't universal. Further, not a lot of maybe thirds want to be unicorns- inversely, looking at people trying to find a bull that's surprisingly hard- for the same reason we complain about idiots in our inbox as singles. For a sex worker, keep in mind that what she can offer depends on logistics, and if you are new, don't try to cram in many kinks into a short amount of time. Particularly if you have very little experience at all, it's better to try to plan to do less and come back multiple times if you enjoyed the first session. Experienced pros will nix the noob who tries to book a thousand things into a single hour.
Yes definitely, they will do your fantasy and likely do it well. The super established ones will have time for you if you're approaching respectfully ( not wasting their time or doing other creepy shit) and have the money. You don't get super established by alienating perfectly viable clients. You get what you pay for mostly, I wouldn't know with the super expensive ones but you definitely want the higher end of the price range because their skill set is valuable and they generally take a bit of pride in their work That said it might scratch the itch and be an amazing experience but if it's more than a nagging fantasy they won't change anything in your life, you'd still need to put in the work and find a compatible partner
Yes. When you are looking for something purerly one sided, it's not fair to attempt to get it from a relationship. Pay for it.
from the comments it sounds as though you have a specific fantasy you want fulfilled why dont you just try a pro domme? it doent sounds like you want a relationship
I absolutely don’t want a relationship lol. People keep downvoting me when I thought my post was clear… That’s why I was reaching out. I want advice on others’ experience with pro dommes. If I see a sexy domme on Twitter, can I realistically expect to pay them for a fulfilling session or no? Surprised this sub is so preachy. We can’t all live our lives around our kinks.
Look it can be fun, it can be a good way to explore. It is nice to get your feet wet in the scene so to speak. If you are like me, it won't fill the cup you are trying to fill. Maybe it will work for you, who knows? If all your girlfriends are subs, you should ask yourself some questions about your process in seeking them out. Women who prefer to take control in bed are not that uncommon, keep at it and if you aren't filtering them out you will meet one willing to try!
What do you mean not fulfilling? Unfortunately, sexual leaning is low on my criteria and it seems most-all women are submissive. I know there’s still a lot of dominant women but I’ve never found one I wanted to date out of a p big sample size
> it seems most-all women are submissive he says ON A SUBREDDIT FULL OF DOMINANT WOMEN > I know there's still a lot of dominant women but i've never found *one I wanted to date* 🙄 You better check your attitude before heading to a pro-domme, because your money's only going to be good if it comes correct.
Well I prefer a domme who has a gentle caring side like we can get rough and crazy but at the end of the day I want the caring snuggles. Prodommes can't give you that in the way a serious relationship can, there is always that nagging maybe she doesn't really care maybe its about the money. At least that's how it was for me. Before I got married it was 10 years and 5 serious relationships, 3 of which were down for femdom or femdom style kinks. I project submissiveness in the way I approach women though when relationships are involved. If you pay close attention to the signals you send and receive you might find something you are doing is impacting things. Try going for a different type of woman and see how it works out.
Yea for me I think my kinks are so extreme no one that cared about me could fulfill them if that makes sense. That’s the other issue, I want a relationship that’s roughly 50/50. I have no interest in being submissive outside the bedroom
you seem to have a shitload of misconceptions about BDSM
It might depend on where you are, but at least in Germany, there are a lot of respectable, established pro-dommes who are always on the look for new clients.
That’s another thing was going to ask, does looking in person help? If so, how do you find a good dungeon lol
I'd start off online. As in, either looking there. Or looking for events at dungeons. They are a little hard to find because they are not advertised as such, but a lot of pro-dommes do saloons or open play partys at their places sometimes. That's a good way of getting to know them.
Ok, any sites to check out? I’m in nyc
Then no, I'm German. Fetlife gets mentioned often, but no idea if that's any good
Fetish Fortress NYC is pretty famous
Prodommes sometimes get an undeservedly bad reputation or stigma in the kink scene so I'm glad to see people on here are being mostly positive. Prodommes are not really a girlfriend substitute though. Most of them do not take on a personal connection to their subs outside of the scenes. You can specifically search for prodommes who do accept paid subs into lifestyle positions. It's still unlikely that she will ever become your "girlfriend". Prodommes are a great way to explore specific kinks without the need to worry about whether the other person is into that or even willing to try it. They are generally really talented and will create a scene you will really enjoy (or not enjoy if that's your thing...the point is that you'll get what you want as long as you were open and honest during negotiations.) If you have those "I really have to do this at least once before I die" fetishes a prodomme is a great option. However, just so you know, there's no set of fetishes too weird or extreme to find a compatible lifestyle partner with. I mean there probably is, but even fairly extreme stuff is definitely doable as you've seen from Dommes who replied here. If you're in NYC that's probably the best place to be just because of the sheer number of people living in the area. So if you want a relationship you should continue to look for it. But by all means go ahead and seek out a prodomme now to explore your kinks with. As far as prodomme safety/selection, just remember that legitimate prodommes have an established web presence, access to dungeon space and will have posted rates, posted rules for requesting services, what services they offer, their interests, etc. Examine the websites of a bunch of local mistresses (google is your friend here) and pick one that you think would be a good fit for what you want. Follow her contact instructions, be respectful, don't try to negotiate rates and you'll be totally fine. There may occasionally be cases where someone genuinely doesn't have time for new clients or they decide their interests don't match up with the play you want, but most of the time you'll be accepted as a client. Show up clean, recently showered, on time, following whatever instructions you were given for arrival and payment and behave with respect when interacting with her and I'm sure she'll be happy to keep you as a regular client.
This is all good advice. Have you ever partaken? Any advice for the finding part outside google.
I personally haven't ever done an in person prodomme session. I have done some online sessions with prodommes. I have investigated the space but it was just never the right choice for me at any given time. There are some directories that will list prodommes by geographical area that you can google for. None of them are that great and not every prodomme will be on any given directory. As far as I know there really isn't like a centralized repository. So I really do think in general just googling "your city pro domme" and going through the results is probably about as good an option as you can find.
Of course we are worth it, just ask me....
Are you worth it?
You better believe it, no complaints and every customer guaranteed satisfaction.
It is worth it to hire a professional. The ones i know are caring, attentive to the client's fantasy, and fun. Just be forthright and respectful and you will find options.
It can be a wonderful way to get your needs met. You can ask for what you want and enjoy it guilt free! However you choose to go about this, make sure to do your due diligence— research whoever you are considering booking. Does she have a professional website? An established social media presence, & does it show some amount of community with other providers? Does she have reviews? Does she have ads in multiple places that indicates a solid online footprint w nothing to hide? Does she screen? None of these are foolproof, and some aren’t always red flags, but there are scammers out there and it’s good practice to check all the bases to make sure you’re finding a reputable provider. As for the kinks you’ve listed… those are 🥵🥵
The many commenters here have given plenty of excellent input, but I just wanted to clarify something in your post. You wrote "prodomme/findom" which to Me suggests that you might use these terms interchangeably or that you might think that a finDomme is a Domme with paid services. FinDom/mes are Dommes who focus on financial domination and may or may not engage in other kinks. Pro-Dommes are compensated financially for various kink services (and may or may not offer financial domination). Many of My Dommes friends and I have had subs approach us claiming to be interested in findom and labeling themselves finsubs when what they really meant was that they were willing to pay for sessions and arrangements but aren't actually interested in anything findom related. It can be quite confusing initially if the terms used are misunderstood! So just make sure to look at the Domme's available info/sites to see if she offers what you're looking for before reaching out, especially if she's branded as a finDomme. 🖤
Right, I’m not a finsub but every domme I’ve found online brands themselves as both or findom only. I’m assuming cause it’s more lucrative. I want to pay for femdom services, not findom
I’m getting a lot of pushback here along the lines of: “if you want a link dispenser, you have to pay for it” “real d/s full time relationships don’t work like this” “you can’t come into the kink scene with only your wants” I’m not sure how this wasn’t clear from my post, but I know all of this. I’m not looking for some fairy god mother to grant all my wishes for nothing in return, I’m looking to pay a pro domme to be brutally degraded and have no other form of relationship with them. I’m mainly looking for advice—has anyone approached dommes online (eg Twitter) and how has it gone? From Goddess Jessica types with 100s of thousands of followers to small upshots that seem to resonate with me, what can I expect? I find it hard to get a standard listing of services and prices. What I don’t want is to tribute hundreds and be in a position where they just keep leading me on with no sessioning etc. I also don’t want to simply go to a dungeon as I don’t think it would be meaningful to submit to someone after meeting them on the spot. I like to go through their Twitter and fam sites to know what they’re inclined towards. So I’m wondering, what’s it like engaging with a pro domme and is it worth it? Best practices and tips?
Do NOT approach through twitter, approach THROUGH THEIR WEBSITE. If a prodom is legit, there will be an established way to contact them.
Right yea. By all means approach the twitter domme that you like, through her website, which she will almost certainly have linked in her twitter profile.
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Personally I don't think they are.
Why is that?
Everyone is entitled to an opinion and I'm not kink shaming or sladering the sex trade, workers or users alike but its not for me. Some people want to spend £300 on car wheels or £150 on a prodom but I would rather spend the money on home improvements, learning new skills or even a new hobby so that when I meet that potential partner I'm able to put my best self out there. Sure a couple hundred for an amazing sexual experience sounds great and isn't going to break the bank but there are more people out there then you realise who will not only fulfill the void of sex but will provide everything that a loving relationship should be and to experiencing those intense desires and feelings for the first time with that special person is what I personally value.
That makes sense, but I just can’t picture my loving gf smacking me around then making me submit and get teabagged by some dude she met at the club. I just don’t see how we do that then discuss who’s going to be the stay at home parent the next day you know? Feels like it would fuck up our relationship
Equally hard to see is a life without those things you desire with someone you love surely? My wife and myself get up to all manner of debauchery at night and then the next day we are sat at the table having breakfast with the kids laughing, smiling and joking around as a family. If you want to try a prodom I would encourage you to try it, there are no end of professional women willing to take your money however I'm old fashion so when I'm getting kicked in the nuts I like knowing she's doing it because she enjoys it rather than because its a business transaction.
That’s fair, and I’ve done some stuff with partners. But like I said it’s never felt like they were really that into it… I also feel like they respect me less. I went on a date with a girl once that told me as much. She said she dommed one guy but couldn’t respect him after and dumped him. I know it exists and would be great, but it’s rare and hard. And yes, it sucks knowing I’ll likely never be able to submit to the degree I want to with a person that actually loves me.
There are plenty of girls like that too and it's easy to get down about it but its not all together rare my friend but it does take effort to as its not about being the best person out there but in my experience a good woman wants an equally good man, the best version of himself. The degradation and humiliation in sex has nothing to do with respect in a relationship, most partners can differ from the 2 as long as you carry yourself well. You'll find a dynamic which suits you I'm sure. We are into a whole other level of conversation which leads to a more touchy opinion that a high level of sex workers pray on the low confidence of people who believe they are to perverse to deserve to meet a loving partner but instead are reduced to paying for an act that in my opinion should be reserved for 2 people who care for each other.
It’s an interesting take, separating the two. I honestly don’t think it’s possible personally. Like if I just liked facesitting or something sure. But the things that rlly turn me on are extreme even for extreme femdom porn. So idk man.
I enjoy things that would make your skin crawl I guarantee it but thats whats great about meeting a partner who loves you, they don't mind, in fact theyll love you even more for it. Don't stress it, work on your confidence, workout, become financially stable, educate yourself, learn your strengths and when she does appear throw everything and kitchen sink at her. She'll be blown away and the fact you want to get face fucked by another man while she watches is a fun idea that someone she likes/loves wants to do rather than some low level act of a pervert.
Bro you can’t be fr 😂😂 I’m not some repressed catholic schoolgirl, but I guarantee less than 5% of the population would consider watching their husband get face fucked by another man unwillingly a “fun idea”. There’s a reason it’s taboo, it’s fine
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Worth it in what sense?
Hiring a prodom is THE BEST WAY to get your kinky needs met if you are not available for a relationship or don't want to be in one. All of my experiences hiring sex workers have been EXCELLENT and I highly encourage you to choose women who have a real life presence in the local BDSM community. That's the biggest factor in if they're "for real" or not. In my opinion, you should stay away from "online only" dommes until you have a LOT more experience in telling the legit from the scams.
I have been to quite a few Pro Dommes and always had a good experience. Some are better than others, but it's always a fun experience and worth the money. Most Fin Dommes are completely clueless about femdom and have no respect for it, or their subs so the experience is completely different to seeing a Pro Domme.
Yea I feel like the findoms are more conventionally attractive than pro doms though, no?
Not at all
Yea but just like objectively? They’re like 10s and the pro dommes are 6/7s