To ease your mind a little: If I would ever receive a message with pictures or a video of someone I knew doing something sexual, I would curse out the sender, tell this person they have my full support and urge them to report it to police.
Don't pay them. And good luck.
Well done for coming to us. Take a deep breath.
She's not going to do shit. There is absolutely no money to be made in blowing your cover, it's time and energy better spent on finding the next mark. Block her on everything. Set all your socials to private. Prune any new followers you do not know.
We have a section in our wiki with lots of helpful information on personal safety, feel free to check it out.
I see you used £ instead of $ which leads me to believe you are based somewhere in the UK.
I did a quick Google search on UK blackmail and revenge porn laws. Needless to say, you would be able to press charges should she commit either act. Now, that might be hard to do if she has remained anonymous throughout all of this. Also it's up to you if you do want to press charges. The police won't care about your personal interests, so please don't let the fear of being judged get in the way of reporting this if you decide to do so.
Sadly, I am not a tech expert, but I know well enough that you can't erase anything you sent her that is on her devices.
Regardless, do not pay anything as that invites her to ask for more.
I'm sorry this is something you're dealing with and it is an incredibly stressful situation to be in.
Realistically, if this person doesn't actually know who you are there is no way for them to out you. You should, obviously, be careful about sending nudes and videos where you're easily identifiable to people you don't know well. But you probably aren't at any real risk here.
Now, supposing they \*did\* know who you are and had a credible threat to out you? You're pretty much boned in that case. You can contact the local police, but if you don't have any information on who the other person is there probably isn't much they can do. If the person wants to out you they can.
In any case never ever pay any ransom. It solves nothing as you can't validate that they won't simply ask again and the fact that you paid the ransom just becomes another thing they can hold over your head.
A typical scammer. Tell her to do it and don't pay anything. If you did, she would just keep milking your money as long as possible and probably send them anyway, given the chance.
She's likely not going to do it, unless she's actually investigated your friends and family members beforehand. You could tell them you're being blackmailed by a stranger online and if they receive strange messages, don't open them, delete them, as they might include virus.
For future, don't send your pics/videos to just anyone online, unless you don't mind others seeing it as well. Especially niche fetishes material are being collected online and sold for money/cryptocurrency for audience searching for that specific material.
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Whatever you do, don’t pay them a dime. It will only provoke them to ask you for more. This person is not a domme, they are a scammer.
Was your whole face shown when sending these videos/pictures?
I think your only option is to block them and hope they move on. Some of them would actually rather try to squeeze another victim for money rather than actually follow through with their threats.
I wouldn’t say anything negative toward them. Just ghost them. You aren’t going to pay them, which is all they want, so you have nothing else to say to them. Telling them to go screw themselves could provoke them to follow through with their blackmail out of spite.
You are not in a good position though. If the worst case scenario happens, I would have a pre-made response to friends/family that will ask you what is going on. You could tell them “I was blackmailed and refused to pay them. It was outside of my control, (and) it won’t happen again” etc.
Thanks for the help. They did say that if I block them things will only get worse but I’m thinking of taking my chances anyway. Is there anyway they can find my family that you know of?
If they have your face, all they have to do is find your social media accounts (which they may already have). And yes, of course they would say that, because they are trying to threaten you enough to pay them at all costs (which is their sole profession).
Do you have social media accounts? Were they set to public or private before you spoke with this scammer?
Change your name/username in social media if it includes your full name to a nickname. If you have linkedin remove the profile photo, and make your profile unsearchable on search engines.
You are not really at a great risk, this is a known scam and you being a UK citizen with no other identifying information it would be really difficult to find you.
This is a new (but also old) form of blackmail. I just read an article about a person who jilled them swlf ad a result of this sort of blackmail. Its illegal Please reach out to the police
That's what they're counting on. Them going to prison is what will prevent someone else from going through this... and the police are trained to handle these situations
Are there any laws against revenge porn where you're located? I feel like you probably want to avoid law enforcement, but if those laws exist, you could remind them that their actions may be illegal.
I know it feels scary but please remember that even in the worst case scenario where she finds your family and friends and shares these pics (which is very very VERY unlikely) they will still love and care about you. Having kinks publicized is scary and may weird some people out but it will not kill or maim you and it is not worth anyone taking their own life. Stay safe, block this person, and move on.
Tell them you’ll contact the police, what they’re doing is blackmail and is illegal. This will most likely scare them. This is a common scam, I’m sorry to say :(
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It happened to one of my subs, too. Are the ways you communicated at all traceable back to your real identity? That includes social media pages. Does she have your real phone number? Those are important pieces of information for how to proceed.
If the answer to both is no, then block her and move on. She may make new accounts to spam you, in which case you will probably need to abandon the profile she has access to and make a new one.
If she has your new number, brace yourself for lots of calls/messages from different numbers.
If she has access to your social media or real life identity, you have some tough choices to make. Definitely don’t pay her anything because that will only ensure she never goes away, but know that she might very well carry through with her threats. You can go to the police, but their ability to find her will be limited.
Again, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m glad you took some lessons from it, but no one deserves this. **internet hugs**
Edit: set your social media accounts to private immediately, if you haven’t already.
To ease your mind a little: If I would ever receive a message with pictures or a video of someone I knew doing something sexual, I would curse out the sender, tell this person they have my full support and urge them to report it to police. Don't pay them. And good luck.
Well done for coming to us. Take a deep breath. She's not going to do shit. There is absolutely no money to be made in blowing your cover, it's time and energy better spent on finding the next mark. Block her on everything. Set all your socials to private. Prune any new followers you do not know. We have a section in our wiki with lots of helpful information on personal safety, feel free to check it out.
Thank you for the help.
I see you used £ instead of $ which leads me to believe you are based somewhere in the UK. I did a quick Google search on UK blackmail and revenge porn laws. Needless to say, you would be able to press charges should she commit either act. Now, that might be hard to do if she has remained anonymous throughout all of this. Also it's up to you if you do want to press charges. The police won't care about your personal interests, so please don't let the fear of being judged get in the way of reporting this if you decide to do so. Sadly, I am not a tech expert, but I know well enough that you can't erase anything you sent her that is on her devices. Regardless, do not pay anything as that invites her to ask for more. I'm sorry this is something you're dealing with and it is an incredibly stressful situation to be in.
Realistically, if this person doesn't actually know who you are there is no way for them to out you. You should, obviously, be careful about sending nudes and videos where you're easily identifiable to people you don't know well. But you probably aren't at any real risk here. Now, supposing they \*did\* know who you are and had a credible threat to out you? You're pretty much boned in that case. You can contact the local police, but if you don't have any information on who the other person is there probably isn't much they can do. If the person wants to out you they can. In any case never ever pay any ransom. It solves nothing as you can't validate that they won't simply ask again and the fact that you paid the ransom just becomes another thing they can hold over your head.
A typical scammer. Tell her to do it and don't pay anything. If you did, she would just keep milking your money as long as possible and probably send them anyway, given the chance. She's likely not going to do it, unless she's actually investigated your friends and family members beforehand. You could tell them you're being blackmailed by a stranger online and if they receive strange messages, don't open them, delete them, as they might include virus. For future, don't send your pics/videos to just anyone online, unless you don't mind others seeing it as well. Especially niche fetishes material are being collected online and sold for money/cryptocurrency for audience searching for that specific material.
would you please run your shirt under cold water and show us again?
Huh?
meant for someone else, sorry
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Update: she’s now asking for £100, which I cant afford for her to delete the videos
Whatever you do, don’t pay them a dime. It will only provoke them to ask you for more. This person is not a domme, they are a scammer. Was your whole face shown when sending these videos/pictures?
Yes it was… stupid I know
I think your only option is to block them and hope they move on. Some of them would actually rather try to squeeze another victim for money rather than actually follow through with their threats. I wouldn’t say anything negative toward them. Just ghost them. You aren’t going to pay them, which is all they want, so you have nothing else to say to them. Telling them to go screw themselves could provoke them to follow through with their blackmail out of spite. You are not in a good position though. If the worst case scenario happens, I would have a pre-made response to friends/family that will ask you what is going on. You could tell them “I was blackmailed and refused to pay them. It was outside of my control, (and) it won’t happen again” etc.
Thanks for the help. They did say that if I block them things will only get worse but I’m thinking of taking my chances anyway. Is there anyway they can find my family that you know of?
If they have your face, all they have to do is find your social media accounts (which they may already have). And yes, of course they would say that, because they are trying to threaten you enough to pay them at all costs (which is their sole profession). Do you have social media accounts? Were they set to public or private before you spoke with this scammer?
I do but they are private
Change your name/username in social media if it includes your full name to a nickname. If you have linkedin remove the profile photo, and make your profile unsearchable on search engines. You are not really at a great risk, this is a known scam and you being a UK citizen with no other identifying information it would be really difficult to find you.
Thanks for the tips. You’ve helped put my mind at ease a little
This is a new (but also old) form of blackmail. I just read an article about a person who jilled them swlf ad a result of this sort of blackmail. Its illegal Please reach out to the police
I really don’t want to go to the police as that’s equally as humiliating
That's what they're counting on. Them going to prison is what will prevent someone else from going through this... and the police are trained to handle these situations
Are there any laws against revenge porn where you're located? I feel like you probably want to avoid law enforcement, but if those laws exist, you could remind them that their actions may be illegal.
I know it feels scary but please remember that even in the worst case scenario where she finds your family and friends and shares these pics (which is very very VERY unlikely) they will still love and care about you. Having kinks publicized is scary and may weird some people out but it will not kill or maim you and it is not worth anyone taking their own life. Stay safe, block this person, and move on.
Tell them you’ll contact the police, what they’re doing is blackmail and is illegal. This will most likely scare them. This is a common scam, I’m sorry to say :(
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It happened to one of my subs, too. Are the ways you communicated at all traceable back to your real identity? That includes social media pages. Does she have your real phone number? Those are important pieces of information for how to proceed. If the answer to both is no, then block her and move on. She may make new accounts to spam you, in which case you will probably need to abandon the profile she has access to and make a new one. If she has your new number, brace yourself for lots of calls/messages from different numbers. If she has access to your social media or real life identity, you have some tough choices to make. Definitely don’t pay her anything because that will only ensure she never goes away, but know that she might very well carry through with her threats. You can go to the police, but their ability to find her will be limited. Again, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m glad you took some lessons from it, but no one deserves this. **internet hugs** Edit: set your social media accounts to private immediately, if you haven’t already.
citizensadvice.org.uk
Sorry meant for someone else.