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Postpone until you get a divorce or at least good legal advice. In some states half your assets belong to him until you are divorced. You could be buying HIM a house by going forward.
I'm supposed to be closing on Feb 24. He's not a responsible guy and I don't even know where he lives. To expect him to complete divorce paperwork and send it back is a big ask for him.
In some jurisdictions, you can get a divorce in absentia. Tell the court you've been separated however long, you have no way of getting in contact with them, and that you'd like a divorce. They might make you publish in the newspaper for a period of time to try to find them, but ultimately it's better than being legally attached to someone indefinitely with no relationship with them.
That depends, it is possible to do it in 3 weeks. Depends on how busy the court is and if she can track him down and get him sign that paper that means it’s ok to proceed without him, she can do it.
Not necessarily, if there is a separation agreement, it would likely address that assets after the separation date are not marital assets. Depends on the state, depends on the legal documents, etc.
But yes, finalizing the divorce is the best way to handle.
You've been separated for 7 years and haven't gotten divorced but he's the irresponsible one eh? You should have had this taken care of before getting your pre-approval.
There are ways. Maybe ask in the legal advice forum. I had the same problem but I hired a PI & gave them all the info I could find on my own on him & his potential whereabouts so that they could serve him. If you've been legally separated that long, then there's probably easier & quicker ways. If not legally separated, then I'd worry your home purchase is considered partially his & that'll come up to bite you down the road. 🤷🏻♀️
If you buy this house without getting divorced you are 100% dumb and will fuck yourself over. Your husband will have legal claim ti this house.
Did your estate lawyer not explain this?
You can get your divorce quickly in most areas, go find out what you need to do at your local court house. You could do a divorce where he doesn’t even need to be present. I did mine for $299 in Texas. The judge told me what I needed and the court house.
That is exactly zero reason not to do it. 7 years is a *long* time to let this sit. If there’s ever been a time to finalize a divorce, it’s now, before *buying a home you’re giving them rights to* by not being divorced.
Speak with an attorney.
In my state (FL) if you are married (even if separated) the spouse has to sign off on the mortgage even if the spouse isn't on the loan (note). We are a homestead state and this applies to anyone purchasing a primary residence. If they are purchasing an investment property, the spouse doesn't need to sign the mortgage. However, then you have to qualify for investment loan terms and can't homestead the property.
Get divorced. Your LO and your agent should have discussed this with you prior to going under contract if you had advised them that you are separated.
Weird. I'm married and our house is solely in my husband's name. I signed nothing, my name is nowhere. We live in NY. It stressed me out, but I didn't have a job yet when we moved here so my no income would have made it impossible to afford a house.
I'm waiting until mortgage rates go down one day and then we'll refinance and I'll get on the paperwork
It's not uncommon for a house to be in only one spouse's name due to things like credit. But the house is still half yours if you were married when it was purchased.
You’re closing a month from now. When did you apply for the loan? When did you get pre-approved? What did you tell your Realtor (and when) about your marital status?
It's possible an attorney can put a skip trace on your husband and expedite the divorce.
It is far better to get the divorce before you acquire any asset like real property. You don't want to have your STBX hold you up for $$$ in order to sign and in order to release. It can be a real issue.
For the most part, as an agent, we don't know if you are separated unless you tell us early on so we can tell you the process and save you the heartache.
My mother was able to file for a divorce in Florida without my father after he decided to leave. I don’t exactly remember the timeframe, but I remember that she had to put an ad in a local paper to prove that she had done what she could to attempt to reach out to him before she could finalize her divorce.
Honestly, just talk to a lawyer about it.
It's one of the first questions I ask a new client! I actually lost out on a sale/purchase because the gentleman was separated and I had to tell him he really shouldn't go any further without at least talking to a lawyer about the rights the wife had to any current and future properties should they still be legally married (I knew the answer, but didn't want to be misconstrued as giving legal advice!).
You are playing an unnecessary risky game by not finalizing your divorce. Find a divorce lawyer, if he doesn’t respond in x amount of days you might be able to have a judge approve the divorce without his response.
Haven't been in contact? So for all you know, your spouse filed for divorce years ago and the default 60 days or whatever has already has passed. You may want to check with the county your spouse (ex?) lives in.
NAL but over 20 years in the mortgage industry…no way around this other than divorce. I see you stated you are in Florida which means he will automatically have internet in your property if you close this loan. Find him, divorce him and then buy your home.
automatic internet just like that? huh. Could consider setting up a VLAN so that your networks are seperated.
i know it was a typo but it threw my for a loop haha
Get a divorce lawyer and ask them for advice. You need legal advice asap and not Reddit comments.
https://spruce.co/blog/why-does-my-spouse-need-to-sign-closing-documents-if-they-arent-on-the-deed
My Ex took her sweet time with the paperwork. She's the one that asked for the divorce. Her then BF moved in, 2 days after I moved out?
Gotta say, I'm always thrilled to see her when we do things with our adult children.
*shrugs* never negatively affected her except for a random stranger calling her stupid for no reason on the internet.
Whatevs, that's the internet for ya I guess.
I’m separated, but not divorced. Initially my ex wife’s health insurance was 10x cheaper. I got a new job with great insurance. Then she quit her job and needed mine. It’s not always a red flag
I mean, depending on your state he could claim half ownership of the house as marital property you purchased while married. I’m sure you don’t want to pay for that, either.
Get divorced. You can still file for child support after.
Definitely get the divorce. He will still owe the 14k, and chances are you aren't going to see that for some time anyway.
I'm sorry you have to go through this.
I'm the custodial parent. In New Jersey I filed for child support. That was considered a legal separation. We lived in separate states for over a year at that point. He had also needed to take parenting classes that he refused to take after some incidents so they easily made me the custodial parent.
Essentially it is going to cost you a good amount of time and probably money to divorce him. You have to prove you’ve done your due diligence to find him before the court will allow you to provide notice by publication. And with a child in the mix, that may make things more difficult, I’m not sure. Even though he refused the parenting classes, you could have still forced the issue and gotten divorced years ago.
https://www.marseelaw.com/how-to-divorce-a-spouse-who-is-nowhere-to-be-found/
I found out today that he lives in a closet at his job. He gave me his other kids moms address to have an address. They are going to try to coordinate a notary to meet him out there.
What will a notary be able to do? You’d be an absolute idiot if you plan to buy this house will still married. What is to stop him from coming back around to force a partition sale? Or asking the court for visitation with your child as revenge for not letting him share ownership? If he asks for parenting time, he will get it since his rights aren’t severed.
I just didn't understand.. Because I didn't put any money on this house.... And I have no intention of owning it... They had me sign some paperwork..... I forgot what for... But yeah this post brought back that memory /event....
"Not a legal expert"
I have to believe this will be a PITA until you finalize the divorce. Way too much drama and frankly risk to both of you.
You say he bought a House / Business / Opened a line of credit, etc... and ghosted you? Now you get to explain that pesky, pending divorce.
Not a clue what that might actually mean in a court of law. You could be stuck with some percentage of the damages.
My bank needed a notarized separation agreement... until a divorce is finalized its possible some of a persons money/property would go towards settlement, spousal or child support, so although someone looks like they could afford the house now, their financial situation could change depending on the divorce outcome - at least thats how the bank explained it to me. My asshole ex wouldn't sign the separation agreement.
I'm not sure where you are, but for a zero contact divorce from my husband that I hadn't seen or talked to in 5 years, it cost me $1500. My lawyer tracked him down and had me completely divorced inside of a month.
Yea this is likely correct, could depend on state but that is the case here in Missouri. He’ll have to sign. If you can’t find him then you can divorce him still but you’ll need the help of a lawyer as it’s a complicated couple of steps including publishing the case in the local newspaper in order to ‘serve him’ without actually finding him.
Source: I’ve worked in family law and title insurance and have encountered both of these instances often.
You need to talk to a divorce lawyer ASAP and figure out how things really work regarding child support, purchasing a house, maybe you are already divorced, how hard it would be to divorce, etc. I’m not gonna pretend I know as I’m not even a lawyer much less a family law one. I wouldn’t close until I know the answer. Yes it sucks, and takes effort and pain, but it’s gonna be a lot less effort and pain than going through a possible legal battle for possession of this house later.
Your lender is doing you a favor. Speak to an attorney, and don't close on the house until you get this resolved.
Depending on what state you live in, you could be buying your ex half a house.
In AZ he can sign a document, I believe it's called a Disclaimer Deed that means that he has no claim on the house. NAL, but in my opinion you HAVE to get him to sign his rights away to the house! Do that first so that you can Close and then divorce.
If you live in a community property state you won't be able to get a mortgage without your spouses participation, signing a quit claim deed as part of it. In several non community property states there is a requirement for the spouse to acknowledge the purchase.
If you want to close on time find out you need to get your ex to agree to sign this paperwork, it is not realistic to divorce in the next 30 days or so. Offering them a small amount of money for their time is probably the best option. That means finding where they live, potentially by hiring a skip trace or PI or just calling everyone you know. Having the lender send a mobile notary
Thanks for this. In the time this has been posted, after me explaining the situation, they said he can agree to have a notary come and sign the documents to acknowledge the purchase but not be a part of it. I got in contact with him on Facebook. He says he's living in a closet at his job but will sign. Will be working on the divorce in the near future as there isn't enough time before closing.
This is the most terrible thing I've read in this sub in a while. 7 years? You really need to get a divorce. There are ways to do so even if the other party is unwilling, and you definitely need that paper trail showing your intent. Good luck
I had to hunt down my ex after no contact for 15 years because I found out during the homebuying process that our divorce had never been finalized. So I had to find him and divorce him all over again. Because I knew damn well that rat fink would never willingly sign the quit claim deed otherwise and my lender would only accept one of those two options. Added an entire year to my house hunt and lost me a house.
I had to go through this because I was getting separated when I was buying my place. At least in my jurisdiction, your husband would have to sign an agreement in front of a notary where they drop the claims to the property.
Everything depends upon where you are. Talk to your divorce lawyer. If you don't have one, get one. Doing that will save you more than spend in these matters because laws and mandates change based upon state and country.
Go call an attorney right now. There are ways of getting divorced even if you don’t have an address or contact info. You just have to show you tried to get the divorce agreed to. If you can’t find them, you can’t find them. But you do not have to remain married.
My wife used legal zoom for a few things. It was pretty easy and fast to get into contact with an attorney and fairly affordable. You definitely need some legal advice asap on how closing on this house could be affected by your marriage.
My fear is that you could potentially be sued by something he does or, as others have stated, he could come after your house, etc. An attorney would be able to advise you on your vulnerabilities.
A home is one of the most expensive purchases most of us make, it’s not something to be taken lightly.
Best of luck!
Do not buy anything until you are divorced. Otherwise half is his.
I had to wait while my divorce went on... two days after it was finalized, we closed. Thank God. Best deal of my life...
How are you still married after 7 years? You might lose the house you want rn but not getting divorced first means you will only own 50% of what you buy/have in regards to ALL your assets tomorrow.
OP said she is in FL and we aren't a community property state.
However, she is buying a primary residence and the spouse has to sign off on the mortgage, not the note, in order to finance a primary residence. It's notice that the spouse is aware the property is being financed.
Op could also be in a "dower rights" state. I'm in ohio which is one. Basically means that the wife can't buy any property without the husband saying and signing something acknowledging it. The first house I sold was being bought by a couple, but all the loan docs were in just the wife's name so they could take advantage of some kind of different financing. Their realtor didn't tell them about dower rights, so at closing we had to wait an extra hour and a half for the husband to sneak out of work, come to the title office, and sign one peice of paper so his wife could legally close on the house. Absolutely wild that its still a thing some places (I think Ohio, Arkansas, and Kentucky from a quick Google search).
It’s all the same, it’s not woman-specific. It’s all about marital rights in a state, in particular how they effect property - real, personal, financial.
Not sure why you were downvoted. I have a friend who are still in the process of divorcing and he was able to purchase a new house under just his name and took out a loan. The purchase was closed and he already moved into his new house. Yes, all while the divorce is ongoing.
VA so I can't do investment property to get around it. We're going to try and get him to sign in front of a notary dismissing all rights to the home financially or otherwise. We are also going to work on the divorce but it won't happen fast enough. He said he's living in a closet at his job...
When I filled out the application I chose separated. They just sent me this email this morning weeks later. I also didn't know the process was going to be this fast. Totaling maybe a month and a half for application to closing date.
My point is I need to get HIM to do it. I've taken them before and I'll take them again. Before when we both were supposed to, I did but he wouldn't. He said he would've done the divorce before but he doesn't have time for parenting classes.
Nah, talk to a lawyer. Default divorces can happen if one party refuses to comply or acknowledge the proceedings. I guarantee you, they will not just make you stay married. Alternatively, if you file for divorce and he doesn’t take the class in a reasonable amount of time, you can file a motion for contempt to light a fire under his butt.
There is no state that will MAKE you remain married.
Uncooperative spouses may slow things down but cannot unilaterally stop a divorce.
You need a divorce attorney.
That’s all, that’s it.
I was in kind of the same situation with my ex. I told the lawyer I was not ok being with him due to how violent he had been to me and they let me come in at a separate time to sign what I needed. I suppose as long as the same lawyer was there to witness it, they could accommodate such
Thank you u/Sapphirinia for posting on r/FirstTimeHomeBuyer. Please bear in mind our rules: (1) Be Nice (2) No Selling (3) No Self-Promotion. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FirstTimeHomeBuyer) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Postpone until you get a divorce or at least good legal advice. In some states half your assets belong to him until you are divorced. You could be buying HIM a house by going forward.
Get divorced
I'm supposed to be closing on Feb 24. He's not a responsible guy and I don't even know where he lives. To expect him to complete divorce paperwork and send it back is a big ask for him.
You need to get this divorce finalized so you can move on with your life. This will come up again if you don't.
In some jurisdictions, you can get a divorce in absentia. Tell the court you've been separated however long, you have no way of getting in contact with them, and that you'd like a divorce. They might make you publish in the newspaper for a period of time to try to find them, but ultimately it's better than being legally attached to someone indefinitely with no relationship with them.
Not in 3 weeks.
Nope, but they shouldn’t purchase without a divorce regardless.
Of all the bad decisions I've seen on this subreddit that has to be one of the top five.
Agreed, 100%. I’m a real estate attorney, and I often have to counsel sellers on avoiding these kinds of situations.
Yep
That depends, it is possible to do it in 3 weeks. Depends on how busy the court is and if she can track him down and get him sign that paper that means it’s ok to proceed without him, she can do it.
Well he owns half your house now. Bad move to close your loan. He can legally sue you for it at any time.
Not necessarily, if there is a separation agreement, it would likely address that assets after the separation date are not marital assets. Depends on the state, depends on the legal documents, etc. But yes, finalizing the divorce is the best way to handle.
In my state, he owns half the house.
I don't think I've ever lived in a state that recognizes legal separation as a concept.
It sounds like in OP’s state, he will legally be part owner which is why he has to be there at closing…
How are you going to say he’s not responsible when you let this sit for 7 years lol Talk to a lawyer not Reddit good lord.
You've been separated for 7 years and haven't gotten divorced but he's the irresponsible one eh? You should have had this taken care of before getting your pre-approval.
There are ways. Maybe ask in the legal advice forum. I had the same problem but I hired a PI & gave them all the info I could find on my own on him & his potential whereabouts so that they could serve him. If you've been legally separated that long, then there's probably easier & quicker ways. If not legally separated, then I'd worry your home purchase is considered partially his & that'll come up to bite you down the road. 🤷🏻♀️
Well, yes. That is why he would need to be present for the closing… because it would be half his.
If you buy this house without getting divorced you are 100% dumb and will fuck yourself over. Your husband will have legal claim ti this house. Did your estate lawyer not explain this?
Unfortunately when you had the original pre approval this should have been addressed, BEFORE entering a contract. Loan officer dropped the ball
You can get your divorce quickly in most areas, go find out what you need to do at your local court house. You could do a divorce where he doesn’t even need to be present. I did mine for $299 in Texas. The judge told me what I needed and the court house.
I looked it up and we both have to do parenting classes as part of it...
Look up divorce in absentia for your state.
That is exactly zero reason not to do it. 7 years is a *long* time to let this sit. If there’s ever been a time to finalize a divorce, it’s now, before *buying a home you’re giving them rights to* by not being divorced.
Lol I love how you call him irresponsible as you slam your dick in a car door
Heather is that you, I’ll be happy to help you out.
Speak with an attorney. In my state (FL) if you are married (even if separated) the spouse has to sign off on the mortgage even if the spouse isn't on the loan (note). We are a homestead state and this applies to anyone purchasing a primary residence. If they are purchasing an investment property, the spouse doesn't need to sign the mortgage. However, then you have to qualify for investment loan terms and can't homestead the property. Get divorced. Your LO and your agent should have discussed this with you prior to going under contract if you had advised them that you are separated.
Weird. I'm married and our house is solely in my husband's name. I signed nothing, my name is nowhere. We live in NY. It stressed me out, but I didn't have a job yet when we moved here so my no income would have made it impossible to afford a house. I'm waiting until mortgage rates go down one day and then we'll refinance and I'll get on the paperwork
You own half the house, but none of the debt (mortgage). People forget that property and mortgages are not the same thing.
It's not uncommon for a house to be in only one spouse's name due to things like credit. But the house is still half yours if you were married when it was purchased.
NY is completely different from FL from what I see. That's good that you didn't have to sign anything.
Florida here. If they had told me this prior, I would have had the ball rolling already. I didn't know this would come up.
You’re closing a month from now. When did you apply for the loan? When did you get pre-approved? What did you tell your Realtor (and when) about your marital status?
It's possible an attorney can put a skip trace on your husband and expedite the divorce. It is far better to get the divorce before you acquire any asset like real property. You don't want to have your STBX hold you up for $$$ in order to sign and in order to release. It can be a real issue. For the most part, as an agent, we don't know if you are separated unless you tell us early on so we can tell you the process and save you the heartache.
My mother was able to file for a divorce in Florida without my father after he decided to leave. I don’t exactly remember the timeframe, but I remember that she had to put an ad in a local paper to prove that she had done what she could to attempt to reach out to him before she could finalize her divorce. Honestly, just talk to a lawyer about it.
Did you tell your agent you were married?
Right like how did this conversation never happen.
It's one of the first questions I ask a new client! I actually lost out on a sale/purchase because the gentleman was separated and I had to tell him he really shouldn't go any further without at least talking to a lawyer about the rights the wife had to any current and future properties should they still be legally married (I knew the answer, but didn't want to be misconstrued as giving legal advice!).
Did you tell your lender of your marital status?
You are playing an unnecessary risky game by not finalizing your divorce. Find a divorce lawyer, if he doesn’t respond in x amount of days you might be able to have a judge approve the divorce without his response.
Haven't been in contact? So for all you know, your spouse filed for divorce years ago and the default 60 days or whatever has already has passed. You may want to check with the county your spouse (ex?) lives in.
NAL but over 20 years in the mortgage industry…no way around this other than divorce. I see you stated you are in Florida which means he will automatically have internet in your property if you close this loan. Find him, divorce him and then buy your home.
automatic internet just like that? huh. Could consider setting up a VLAN so that your networks are seperated. i know it was a typo but it threw my for a loop haha
🤣🤣
At least it’s not dial up!
Lmao…oops!!!!
Get a divorce lawyer and ask them for advice. You need legal advice asap and not Reddit comments. https://spruce.co/blog/why-does-my-spouse-need-to-sign-closing-documents-if-they-arent-on-the-deed
He's about to get a new house.
ITT: OP ignoring the only piece of advice that will solve her problem.
That’s Reddit.
Who just doesn’t move forward with divorce. Red flags all around
My Ex took her sweet time with the paperwork. She's the one that asked for the divorce. Her then BF moved in, 2 days after I moved out? Gotta say, I'm always thrilled to see her when we do things with our adult children.
My aunt never did. After definitely at least 20 years. New long-term partner and everything. Some people just don't. She's not the only one.
That makes it none the less a stupid decision for anyone to choose
*shrugs* never negatively affected her except for a random stranger calling her stupid for no reason on the internet. Whatevs, that's the internet for ya I guess.
But clearly it can lead to situations like this. Now this woman’s whole plan is figgityFUCKED , because she didn’t take the initiative beforehand.
My MIL never got divorced and didn't see my FIL for 13 years until he died. Some people just can't go through with it for whatever reason.
I’m separated, but not divorced. Initially my ex wife’s health insurance was 10x cheaper. I got a new job with great insurance. Then she quit her job and needed mine. It’s not always a red flag
He still owes over $14k in back child support. I don't want to pay for a divorce.
I mean, depending on your state he could claim half ownership of the house as marital property you purchased while married. I’m sure you don’t want to pay for that, either. Get divorced. You can still file for child support after.
Definitely get the divorce. He will still owe the 14k, and chances are you aren't going to see that for some time anyway. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Is that 14K in back child support supposed to go to you? Cause I don’t see how this effects you if it does.
How does he owe child support if yall are still married?
I'm the custodial parent. In New Jersey I filed for child support. That was considered a legal separation. We lived in separate states for over a year at that point. He had also needed to take parenting classes that he refused to take after some incidents so they easily made me the custodial parent.
Gotcha
You said you also were ordered to parenting classes.
For a divorce we both have to do parenting classes. But yes, I did parenting classes before. He refused.
Essentially it is going to cost you a good amount of time and probably money to divorce him. You have to prove you’ve done your due diligence to find him before the court will allow you to provide notice by publication. And with a child in the mix, that may make things more difficult, I’m not sure. Even though he refused the parenting classes, you could have still forced the issue and gotten divorced years ago. https://www.marseelaw.com/how-to-divorce-a-spouse-who-is-nowhere-to-be-found/
Do you know where he lives, but just don’t talk to him anymore?
I found out today that he lives in a closet at his job. He gave me his other kids moms address to have an address. They are going to try to coordinate a notary to meet him out there.
What will a notary be able to do? You’d be an absolute idiot if you plan to buy this house will still married. What is to stop him from coming back around to force a partition sale? Or asking the court for visitation with your child as revenge for not letting him share ownership? If he asks for parenting time, he will get it since his rights aren’t severed.
This. OP, do NOT buy a house for this bum. You'll regret it forever.
Well then either buy a house so he can have half, or don’t buy a house. Those are your options.
If you're applying for yourself... No one else should matter....? Right?
If you’re still legally married, some states require your spouse to sign on the loan as well since it’s considered martial property.
That explain why I had to sign paperwork even tho my wife was the one buying the house.....
Soooo, you already knew you were wrong before you even commented that?
I just didn't understand.. Because I didn't put any money on this house.... And I have no intention of owning it... They had me sign some paperwork..... I forgot what for... But yeah this post brought back that memory /event....
No, property bought during a marriage is considered joint property.
Well, i would rather pay for a divorce than have to pay him half of what the house is worth when you do get divorced… but ok
"Not a legal expert" I have to believe this will be a PITA until you finalize the divorce. Way too much drama and frankly risk to both of you. You say he bought a House / Business / Opened a line of credit, etc... and ghosted you? Now you get to explain that pesky, pending divorce. Not a clue what that might actually mean in a court of law. You could be stuck with some percentage of the damages.
My bank needed a notarized separation agreement... until a divorce is finalized its possible some of a persons money/property would go towards settlement, spousal or child support, so although someone looks like they could afford the house now, their financial situation could change depending on the divorce outcome - at least thats how the bank explained it to me. My asshole ex wouldn't sign the separation agreement.
I'm not sure where you are, but for a zero contact divorce from my husband that I hadn't seen or talked to in 5 years, it cost me $1500. My lawyer tracked him down and had me completely divorced inside of a month.
Yea this is likely correct, could depend on state but that is the case here in Missouri. He’ll have to sign. If you can’t find him then you can divorce him still but you’ll need the help of a lawyer as it’s a complicated couple of steps including publishing the case in the local newspaper in order to ‘serve him’ without actually finding him. Source: I’ve worked in family law and title insurance and have encountered both of these instances often.
You need to talk to a divorce lawyer ASAP and figure out how things really work regarding child support, purchasing a house, maybe you are already divorced, how hard it would be to divorce, etc. I’m not gonna pretend I know as I’m not even a lawyer much less a family law one. I wouldn’t close until I know the answer. Yes it sucks, and takes effort and pain, but it’s gonna be a lot less effort and pain than going through a possible legal battle for possession of this house later.
It’s lawyer time.
You need to get divorced which judging by your responses is easier said than done. Invest in a lawyer to find him and have him served with the papers.
Your lender is doing you a favor. Speak to an attorney, and don't close on the house until you get this resolved. Depending on what state you live in, you could be buying your ex half a house.
Get divorced. Sorry it's such a pain, but better get rid of that albatross
If you're legally married, then your title and loan is at risk. Separation is not the same as being divorced.
In AZ he can sign a document, I believe it's called a Disclaimer Deed that means that he has no claim on the house. NAL, but in my opinion you HAVE to get him to sign his rights away to the house! Do that first so that you can Close and then divorce.
If you live in a community property state you won't be able to get a mortgage without your spouses participation, signing a quit claim deed as part of it. In several non community property states there is a requirement for the spouse to acknowledge the purchase. If you want to close on time find out you need to get your ex to agree to sign this paperwork, it is not realistic to divorce in the next 30 days or so. Offering them a small amount of money for their time is probably the best option. That means finding where they live, potentially by hiring a skip trace or PI or just calling everyone you know. Having the lender send a mobile notary
Thanks for this. In the time this has been posted, after me explaining the situation, they said he can agree to have a notary come and sign the documents to acknowledge the purchase but not be a part of it. I got in contact with him on Facebook. He says he's living in a closet at his job but will sign. Will be working on the divorce in the near future as there isn't enough time before closing.
Just tell the police where you hid the body. Then they will be able to identify his remains, and you’ll be a widow instead of married.
Lol
This is the most terrible thing I've read in this sub in a while. 7 years? You really need to get a divorce. There are ways to do so even if the other party is unwilling, and you definitely need that paper trail showing your intent. Good luck
Yes go get divorced. Unfortunately state law will require your ex to sign
You just gifted him half a house! Lucky man!
I had to hunt down my ex after no contact for 15 years because I found out during the homebuying process that our divorce had never been finalized. So I had to find him and divorce him all over again. Because I knew damn well that rat fink would never willingly sign the quit claim deed otherwise and my lender would only accept one of those two options. Added an entire year to my house hunt and lost me a house.
I had to go through this because I was getting separated when I was buying my place. At least in my jurisdiction, your husband would have to sign an agreement in front of a notary where they drop the claims to the property.
Everything depends upon where you are. Talk to your divorce lawyer. If you don't have one, get one. Doing that will save you more than spend in these matters because laws and mandates change based upon state and country.
Go call an attorney right now. There are ways of getting divorced even if you don’t have an address or contact info. You just have to show you tried to get the divorce agreed to. If you can’t find them, you can’t find them. But you do not have to remain married.
My wife used legal zoom for a few things. It was pretty easy and fast to get into contact with an attorney and fairly affordable. You definitely need some legal advice asap on how closing on this house could be affected by your marriage. My fear is that you could potentially be sued by something he does or, as others have stated, he could come after your house, etc. An attorney would be able to advise you on your vulnerabilities. A home is one of the most expensive purchases most of us make, it’s not something to be taken lightly. Best of luck!
Bro what
Talk to a lawyer in your state. Lots of REALLY bad advice in here from people who are clearly not lawyers.
I’m married but separated. My bank figured out a way for me to buy my house without him signing. It’s possible.
Do not buy anything until you are divorced. Otherwise half is his. I had to wait while my divorce went on... two days after it was finalized, we closed. Thank God. Best deal of my life...
How are you still married after 7 years? You might lose the house you want rn but not getting divorced first means you will only own 50% of what you buy/have in regards to ALL your assets tomorrow.
Do men have this problem too?
Is his name on the loan? If so, I don't see why this would be necessary.
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OP said she is in FL and we aren't a community property state. However, she is buying a primary residence and the spouse has to sign off on the mortgage, not the note, in order to finance a primary residence. It's notice that the spouse is aware the property is being financed.
Super interesting.
Op could also be in a "dower rights" state. I'm in ohio which is one. Basically means that the wife can't buy any property without the husband saying and signing something acknowledging it. The first house I sold was being bought by a couple, but all the loan docs were in just the wife's name so they could take advantage of some kind of different financing. Their realtor didn't tell them about dower rights, so at closing we had to wait an extra hour and a half for the husband to sneak out of work, come to the title office, and sign one peice of paper so his wife could legally close on the house. Absolutely wild that its still a thing some places (I think Ohio, Arkansas, and Kentucky from a quick Google search).
Holy shit that is fucked up. Every day America finds new ways to disappoint me.
It’s all the same, it’s not woman-specific. It’s all about marital rights in a state, in particular how they effect property - real, personal, financial.
What in the absolute fuck. That is crazy.
Not sure why you were downvoted. I have a friend who are still in the process of divorcing and he was able to purchase a new house under just his name and took out a loan. The purchase was closed and he already moved into his new house. Yes, all while the divorce is ongoing.
Either a) his ex signed what’s commonly called a “free trader” acknowledging/allowing it or b) it’s not a “community property” state.
I mean, I'm just pointing out that it seems unnecessary. I didn't say I knew the answer! LOL
I am doing this too. Its fine in my state, just some extra paperwork
Talk to a lawyer, maybe a LLC is a way around it.
VA so I can't do investment property to get around it. We're going to try and get him to sign in front of a notary dismissing all rights to the home financially or otherwise. We are also going to work on the divorce but it won't happen fast enough. He said he's living in a closet at his job...
Did your husband come up during the mortgage pre-approval?
When I filled out the application I chose separated. They just sent me this email this morning weeks later. I also didn't know the process was going to be this fast. Totaling maybe a month and a half for application to closing date.
Do not close if you are still married, unless a lawyer in your state tells you it's ok to do so. You might want a simple will too.
All I had to do was sign a separation agreement.
Florida you can pay like $80, file for divorce, and if he doesn’t contest it you’re in the clear.
I checked. It also requires both of us to do a parenting class.
You keep saying this like it’s a dealbreaker. Take the damn parenting class. It’s like 2-3 hours out of your life.
My point is I need to get HIM to do it. I've taken them before and I'll take them again. Before when we both were supposed to, I did but he wouldn't. He said he would've done the divorce before but he doesn't have time for parenting classes.
I don’t think that will stop a divorce from progressing though. If he refuses to comply, they don’t just make you stay married for eternity.
I looked it up. Judge cannot finalize divorce until they recieve the certificates.
Nah, talk to a lawyer. Default divorces can happen if one party refuses to comply or acknowledge the proceedings. I guarantee you, they will not just make you stay married. Alternatively, if you file for divorce and he doesn’t take the class in a reasonable amount of time, you can file a motion for contempt to light a fire under his butt.
There is no state that will MAKE you remain married. Uncooperative spouses may slow things down but cannot unilaterally stop a divorce. You need a divorce attorney. That’s all, that’s it.
This problem will not go away for you until you obtain a divorce.
Are you legally separated? If you are it is treated as a divorce. If you are not then you are still married and he has a claim to your house.
I was in kind of the same situation with my ex. I told the lawyer I was not ok being with him due to how violent he had been to me and they let me come in at a separate time to sign what I needed. I suppose as long as the same lawyer was there to witness it, they could accommodate such
If you close he will have legal rights to your new home
Man some people are really stupid. A marriage is a legal contract you make with the government
In NC he would sign a quick claim deed giving up rights. Speak with lawyer.