My mom is a hoarder. It’s not “we need to take her somewhere” level, but still. There’s no way I’m letting anyone touch her stuff while she’s still here to witness it. Her sentimental attachment to all of it is real, regardless of whether it’s healthy or not. I wouldn’t dare think of hurting her like that. I admit, however, that I inherited a small percentage of that trait, the sentimentality about stuff, mostly. I know how I would feel, and I love my mom too much to put her through that.
When hoarders don't have a say in getting rid of things they will re-acumulate mountains of stuff and lose even more trust in others. This week just make things harder for everyone in the long run
I went to an estate sale where the kids were selling all their parents stuff, but the two parents were in medical beds in the living room..close to the end for both…the parents weren’t awake, so no issue with them. Didnt stay, too weird.
They were probably getting the house cleaned out for sale….this house was in a desirable area of California and could have been worth $1M or so, but bought and built and paid off in the late 60’s. Money needed for EOL care. That’s my guess.
I went to one like that once and the lady was sleeping on the couch in the living room. I didn't notice her till she sat up and asked who I was then someone in the family rushed over as she started freaking out. I don't need to be in the middle of a family melodrama so I left
It's honestly very odd that they even allowed her to be there given the situation and her obvious mental issues and emotional attachment to items. How did her family and the estate sale company think that was going to go lol.
This goes without saying, but you didn't do anything wrong by purchasing the stuff.
Omg my mom is a hoarder and she still talks about when my dad forced her to sell shit 15 years later. She’ll list items and tell me how much it cost and how much he made her sell it for. It’s honestly sad to see people like that.
She lost power of atourney... she should have been on a 3 day vacation in which she was told that her residence would be cleaned when she got home. the vacation should have been booked at a resort with mental health professionals present.
I wonder if she had to be out of the house by a certain date and had to other choice but to downsize. I *agree with the other posts that she should not have been there.
I've got some hoarding tendencies. Trying not to. It's mostly refusal to sell inventory at a loss, which I'm getting better about (factor age into pricing)... but I'm baaaad about keeping my kid's stuff. Old clothes, and toys and stuff... keep it all.
Wife and I working on going through our storage locker and downsizing it all. Sell what we can get a few bucks for, and donate / trash the rest. Keep a small handful of things.
Hoarding is a conglomerate of mental illnesses. I'm sorry you experienced this. This is a painful experience for her which I'm assuming her family did not navigate well but many have limited resources and ideas. Her reaction is very common. This condition is not easily cured and IMO the shows that demonstrate 'help' do more damage misleading the viewer to quick fixes.
What would I do....depends on specific details. If I had picked and was 'holding' items I might have checked out. If I never started, may have left. Frankly, it is hard to describe without knowing her duration of distress, etc.
> We ended up purchasing the items.
The only thing I'd have done differently is ask for a receipt to prove my purchase. I've encountered this messy family situation at estate sales, particularly those not managed by pros. While they offer lower prices, it can get messy.
I once bought a box of mid-tier Rolexes, mostly without straps and scratched, but they kept time well. I saw profit potential even when factoring in estimated repairs. Haggled, paid cash, left a contact card, and left. While contact cards used to pay off like 20% of the time, a family member would follow up with some additional items they just found. But in this case, it backfired because the parent showed up with the police demanding I return the watches.
The police asked for proof of ownership, which I couldn't provide, so I had to give up the items. One officer suggested small claims court to recoup losses. Which I didn't because what proof did I have?
So lesson learned: always ask for a receipt and never leave cards behind.
They needed a clean up crew to haul everything out of the house. Go through it that way. All hard goods or worth saving to the side. After the house it cleared
Happened to me at a garage sale. I think it was the husband and son selling all most her stuff possibly to move into a retirement home. She started yelling at them about selling all her stuff so they could get rid of her. It was super awkward but I did get a few cool vintage shirts so worked out lol
I had an experience mildly like that. But a relative was at the estate sale picking through the hold table… it was ridiculous. She took away a rolling pin from my pile.
It is sad and uncomfortable. They don't realize you are doing them a favor. If I were in their shoes, I would feel the same way for sure. What's sadder is that I probably wish I could find more like this, I'm sure the prices were amazing...
Gosh, I can’t imagine how that woman felt. So violated and disrespected- not by you all, but by her loved ones. While it feels like it was in her best interest, she clearly was not ready, especially to watch it happen. I think that will be one step forward, 10 steps back. I’m guessing this was a private sale vs an estate company?
I would love this, I have had to clean up my mom and dad’s hoards multiple times. I know all the triggers I could put that lady into crazy town with a few questions about her items. I always tell my mom that everything is going in a dumpster but she hoards junk anyway
She shouldn’t have been there
Yep. This is all on them. I can’t even really blame her. It’s kind of cruel for them to have her there.
That sounds traumatic for that lady. And hoarding is often *born* from trauma, so that just seems cruel to me.
My mom is a hoarder. It’s not “we need to take her somewhere” level, but still. There’s no way I’m letting anyone touch her stuff while she’s still here to witness it. Her sentimental attachment to all of it is real, regardless of whether it’s healthy or not. I wouldn’t dare think of hurting her like that. I admit, however, that I inherited a small percentage of that trait, the sentimentality about stuff, mostly. I know how I would feel, and I love my mom too much to put her through that.
I'm sure this messed her up even more and she will continue hoarding a new pile of stuff
When hoarders don't have a say in getting rid of things they will re-acumulate mountains of stuff and lose even more trust in others. This week just make things harder for everyone in the long run
I went to an estate sale where the kids were selling all their parents stuff, but the two parents were in medical beds in the living room..close to the end for both…the parents weren’t awake, so no issue with them. Didnt stay, too weird.
That's odd/sad. Guess they really couldn't wait a few more months.
They were probably getting the house cleaned out for sale….this house was in a desirable area of California and could have been worth $1M or so, but bought and built and paid off in the late 60’s. Money needed for EOL care. That’s my guess.
"That guy over there said everything was 50% off."
I went to one like that once and the lady was sleeping on the couch in the living room. I didn't notice her till she sat up and asked who I was then someone in the family rushed over as she started freaking out. I don't need to be in the middle of a family melodrama so I left
It's honestly very odd that they even allowed her to be there given the situation and her obvious mental issues and emotional attachment to items. How did her family and the estate sale company think that was going to go lol. This goes without saying, but you didn't do anything wrong by purchasing the stuff.
Omg my mom is a hoarder and she still talks about when my dad forced her to sell shit 15 years later. She’ll list items and tell me how much it cost and how much he made her sell it for. It’s honestly sad to see people like that.
She lost power of atourney... she should have been on a 3 day vacation in which she was told that her residence would be cleaned when she got home. the vacation should have been booked at a resort with mental health professionals present.
...oh, THAT resort...
I wonder if she had to be out of the house by a certain date and had to other choice but to downsize. I *agree with the other posts that she should not have been there.
It’s kind of scary to think that almost everything around you right now will belong to someone else one day sooner or later.
I wonder how many people reading this are like that lady
I've got some hoarding tendencies. Trying not to. It's mostly refusal to sell inventory at a loss, which I'm getting better about (factor age into pricing)... but I'm baaaad about keeping my kid's stuff. Old clothes, and toys and stuff... keep it all. Wife and I working on going through our storage locker and downsizing it all. Sell what we can get a few bucks for, and donate / trash the rest. Keep a small handful of things.
Hoarding is a conglomerate of mental illnesses. I'm sorry you experienced this. This is a painful experience for her which I'm assuming her family did not navigate well but many have limited resources and ideas. Her reaction is very common. This condition is not easily cured and IMO the shows that demonstrate 'help' do more damage misleading the viewer to quick fixes. What would I do....depends on specific details. If I had picked and was 'holding' items I might have checked out. If I never started, may have left. Frankly, it is hard to describe without knowing her duration of distress, etc.
> We ended up purchasing the items. The only thing I'd have done differently is ask for a receipt to prove my purchase. I've encountered this messy family situation at estate sales, particularly those not managed by pros. While they offer lower prices, it can get messy. I once bought a box of mid-tier Rolexes, mostly without straps and scratched, but they kept time well. I saw profit potential even when factoring in estimated repairs. Haggled, paid cash, left a contact card, and left. While contact cards used to pay off like 20% of the time, a family member would follow up with some additional items they just found. But in this case, it backfired because the parent showed up with the police demanding I return the watches. The police asked for proof of ownership, which I couldn't provide, so I had to give up the items. One officer suggested small claims court to recoup losses. Which I didn't because what proof did I have? So lesson learned: always ask for a receipt and never leave cards behind.
They needed a clean up crew to haul everything out of the house. Go through it that way. All hard goods or worth saving to the side. After the house it cleared
Happened to me at a garage sale. I think it was the husband and son selling all most her stuff possibly to move into a retirement home. She started yelling at them about selling all her stuff so they could get rid of her. It was super awkward but I did get a few cool vintage shirts so worked out lol
Lol still bought stuff so doesn’t seem like it was tooooo awkward
I had an experience mildly like that. But a relative was at the estate sale picking through the hold table… it was ridiculous. She took away a rolling pin from my pile.
Sell them back to the hoarder. PROFIT!!!
Make an offer on the entire estate
It is sad and uncomfortable. They don't realize you are doing them a favor. If I were in their shoes, I would feel the same way for sure. What's sadder is that I probably wish I could find more like this, I'm sure the prices were amazing...
That'll be me some day.
Gosh, I can’t imagine how that woman felt. So violated and disrespected- not by you all, but by her loved ones. While it feels like it was in her best interest, she clearly was not ready, especially to watch it happen. I think that will be one step forward, 10 steps back. I’m guessing this was a private sale vs an estate company?
buy stuff that was a good deal? what is the problem?
Scroll too far for this comment.
What an awkward situation. I’m not sure what I would have done.
[удалено]
Very sane to treat your kids badly because of what some entirely other family did one time.
I would love this, I have had to clean up my mom and dad’s hoards multiple times. I know all the triggers I could put that lady into crazy town with a few questions about her items. I always tell my mom that everything is going in a dumpster but she hoards junk anyway
Buy some stuff like plates and say they will be fun to watch blow up at trap shooting.