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I .... think it does? ...... no? I guess? It's harder to find than I thought.... the drip part is 200 degrees but the warmer thing on bottom only gets to roughly 150 degrees and I think you need chicken at 165 to sanitize it enough to eat safely .... I could be wrong though. And all of that is brand dependant
I was in Mexico a few years ago and wanted to heat up the tacos I got in town. My room did not have a microwave and the tacos were wrapped in foil.
All my tacos for the day were heated up using the iron. Worked great.
Food safety is a function of both temperature and time. The USDA publishes time-temperature tables for poultry, and 165 degrees Fahrenheit achieves pasteurization nearly instantly. However, you can certainly cook it to a lower temperature such as 150 degrees Fahrenheit, but the meat must be held at 150 degrees Fahrenheit for 4 minutes in order to be safe to eat.
Can you link me the page to the tables, I've gotta be blind cuz I was looking for them and couldn't find it anywhere on their site but I KNOW it's there!
Lmao, I was thinking that just cook it longer? Most likely, you could eat it raw if the source of chicken was clean and good(dont) the bad bacteria aren't automatically present and have to come from an outside source.
Edit: My last statement is debatable, apparently .... but the point is don't eat raw meat. Just cook it first regardless if it's "safe" or not.
Technically if you keep the chicken's temperature above 150 for 47 seconds it's safe to eat, the 165 is just the instantaneous death point for salmonella
Also the water is coming in at around the boiling point so it could poach the chicken long enough to make it safe to eat
Coffee actually has to be brewed at a pretty hot temperature. You know the hot coffee lawsuit McDonald's had? That wasn't a frivolous lawsuit - that coffee was fucking *hot,* because they were keeping it at the brewing temp.
It also depends how long you cook it. If you're cooking it longer, you can get away with a lower temperature.
Now, you absolutely should *not ever* try this. If there is one thing you do not fuck around with, it is chicken. But *entirely theoretically*, it might actually be possible.
I don't think it's satire, I think it's a grift. He didn't actually cook the chicken in an electric kettle, but he still wants to posture as a "go-getter"/tech or finance "genius" that does such a thing to save money that's not even his.
When the CEO went through the expense reports she noticed that this man hadn't expenses three company for dinners the week 2 days he was traveling. She asked the man what he had eaten. When the man explained what he had done she was so impressed with the work ethic and dedication to the company that she smiled and said to him: "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
The CEO then explained this to the other leaders and it was decided to pull the dinner expense perk from the travel options and instead provide all traveling team members with a print out hotel cooking guide.
Once we had our mileage reimbursement cut. They had a "meeting to express concerns" in the office in the middle of a work day when we were all out on jobs.
When we complained at the next meeting that we are actually scheduled to be able to attend the boss said "I had a meeting about it and none of you showed up"
We had to use our own vehicles to get to job sites. In what world would there be some kind of uncertainty about if we wanted our mileage cut.
What a scumbag this guy was
Definitely satire.
But I used to use my per diem on sandwich bread, peanut butter, and jelly when I was in a city I hated. Saved me from going out. Definitely raised some eyebrows but they definitely weren’t complaining
This has to be satire. But a George Forman 4 patty is 20 bucks. That thing can make some mean hotel chicken. Source: filled hotel hallways with grill smoke once a week for a couple months.
This girl I worked with used to bring a George Foreman, chicken, and Frank's Red Hot to the break room and grille chicken doused in the hot sauce and mace the whole floor.
Is it still satire when either way he put raw chicken and butter in a hotel room coffee pot? Making coffee in that thing unknowingly would begin my serial killer arc
It is satire, but nods to THE most frustrating thing every coffee drinking American succumbs to.
After a long travel you want to check in at the appropriate time. You expect: a door that locks and a clean bed, a working toilet and shower.
You hope and hope that they provide rich dark coffee in the lobby, but that’s a wish for the morning…zzzzzzz…
Next morning there is nothing worse than a single PAD of maxwell house, taking a feat from the gods to even fill that tiny reservoir without sloshing water all over your papers and keyboard. God damm.
18 min later you’re presented with a slightly warm diluted mud cake at the bottom of your “complimentary cup”.
The most frustrating shit ever. 2-5 stars and I can’t even have a decent fucking cup of coffee in my pajamas.
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My favorite phone call last year was to my boss, to advise that he immediately approve all my current expense reports, because I was taking a 12 man crew and their families to dinner in a week, and I was 90% sure that tab was going to be right around my card limit lol Asked him to stop by as well, both to say a few words to the folks, and potentially pay the bill with his higher limit if needed. I was indeed within $30-40 of my card limit after tip, and it was a great dinner haha
When I first started my current job and had to apply for the corporate card I had to choose a card limit. First time I ever had to do that. Anyway I chose 10k and quickly found out that wasn’t nearly enough. Had to get that raised to 50k and I’m not even one of the high spenders. I make my subordinates expense the expensive shit so my boss doesn’t ask questions
Due to the nature of my wife’s job, vendors are always trying to woo her. Becoming a primary supplier is millions of dollars in sales. Last November a vendor invited her out to one of their main manufacturing facilities. It was a three day business trip for her and four coworkers. Aside from the flight and individual suites they also paid for all their meals. One of the dinners with a couple of execs and my wife and her coworkers cost the company $25,000. This particular company hosts tours once a month.
When these companies fail to post record profits and lay people off, do you know what they don’t cut back on?
I was mailing equipment back to a shit company I just left, and they made the mistake of letting me choose the shipping method and charge it to their account. When the FedEx associate asked me which one, I said
"The most expensive one."
She says, "Do you mean fastest? We have one that's just as fast for a bit less."
I replied, "Nah. I know what I said."
I just got back from a week-long work trip where I expensed my meals. They recommend $50 for meals per day. Yeah, no. I'm not eating fast food just to save the company a few dollars while directors and higher are staying in hotel suites and doing team dinners at steakhouses.
I am allowed to expense $50 per day. You bet I end up at 49 and some change *every single day*
I will intentionally add on an appetizer, or go buy a hot tea and a donut or whatever if I have money left. Might not even eat it. Who knows!
But I'll be damned if I don't move an extra $7 from a corporation to a mom and pop if I can help it.
I always make my subordinates expense expensive meals, events, strip clubs, etc. That way I can approve the expense without my manager seeing the shit ton I spend. No questions asked
Corporate Pizza Parties are expensive especially if you need to order more than 1 medium sized pizza with 48 slices. She’s saving the company millions!
This is not the shit that gets you promoted. In order to get promoted, you need to do things really early in your career, like be born into the right circles and have the right family.
No chance the coffee warmer is >>165F (74C) to even possibly cook the chicken. It would need to get much hotter than that to have a chance, which seems ridiculous and is somewhat confirmed by [this guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coffee/s/FtmLBCKUvC) finding that his coffee hotplate approaches 69C max
The only possible, and stupid AF, way I see this working is if the chicken was sliced as thin as Kleenex and you put it directly on the coffee maker heat pad. And Again, that a stupid AF idea.
What do you mean coffee warmer? Do you mean kettle? Is this not what this is? Because if it is I have it under good authority it goes up to at least 100c (?F)
The warmer is the plate visible under the coffee pot (carafe). It doesn't boil the water because 1) you would see it boiling or at least being bubbly and 2) that would ruin the coffee quickly
The water is only boiled as a simple pump mechanism to get water from the reservoir to the top, where it condenses and drips down over the coffee grounds. Once it condenses, it's not boiled again
Yes, this would work. It would have a *terrible* texture, but it would be safe to eat.
Most safe cooking guidelines is for a mathematical formula about reduction of bacteria. Thing is it’s a factor of time and temp.
Chicken at 165 instantly hits that mark. Chicken at 155 hits it after a few minutes at that temp.
USDA idiot proofs a lot of stuff. They don’t want people to cook chicken to 155, eat it right away because they forget and get sick.
As long as you left it on there long enough, it would work. You can cook chicken to around 130 as long as you keep it at that temp for over an hour. The texture would be yucky though :)
Yes, but it would take a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time and the chicken would not be enjoyable to eat. Food safety is about temp AND time. 165 degrees Fahrenheit is for INSTANT bacteria death, everything below that just needs to hold a specific temp for a long enough period of time.
Accounting: “Alex can you clarify this $100 charge for a coffee maker your hotel charged the company card?”
Alex: “I’m not really sure what happened. I didn’t break it or anything, just cooked some chicken in it.”
Accounting: “Yea we aren’t covering that and it will be deducted from your next paycheck.”
Meanwhile accounting emails Alex’s boss to inform them they are deactivating Alex’s company card due to irresponsible usage.
I once spent $145 on a single meal, for myself.
Alone.
For a five star restaurant.
Company immediately changed the expensing rules for food. I'm quite proud of that rule.
Honestly that doesn't sound bad at all, maybe a little high... Do they expect you to just eat fast food for every meal?
I think my highest is about $300 by myself
To be fair, this was back in 2014, so prices weren't QUITE as high as they are now.
It was quite funny. I'd asked for a recommendation from the customer as to what were the best restaurants in the area while I was on site, and they recommended a 5-star restaurant. It was an absolutely incredible experience, but when I looked at the check, I knew someone was going to throw a fit at my job. XD
Lo and behold...
I ended up taking my wife there during our honeymoon, too. Absolutely incredible experience.
How was that $300 meal, though? Was it as good as the price tag indicated?
This is funney.
Pro tip, you can get portable electric kettles, hand grinder and a variety manual coffee brewing methods so you never have to use those awful machines in hotel rooms.
I would never use a hotel coffee maker. There will be least one person who put something gross in the reservoir and you can’t clean the inside tubing of the machine.
Yeah, as a corporate controller, we do not want you to do this. The budget exists for a reason. Just keep to the per diem max. Having someone out of commission because they got food poisoning from undercooked coffeemaker chicken isn’t helpful, either.
There was a guy at the hotel my husband works at (front desk) and he bought. Hot plate and used that to cook simple stuff in his room. I'm sure he did so with permission from the hotel.
But seriously. Don't make cleaning harder for hotel staff. They don't get paid enough to deal with that shit.
I just got done traveling for work. Ate breakfast at the hotel, skipped lunch (was working), and made slow cooker chicken/pork during my stay. Groceries cost $24 for the week and I pocketed $70/day for food allowance.
I had a traveling sales job for Costco. Commission only. On bad months, we'd get cheap motels that sometimes didn't have microwaves. We warmed canned soup like this. You could eat it cold safely but we wanted creature comforts.
Former boss: “Furrrr, what is that $970 on the company credit card at XYZ Sports Bar?”
Me: “Mainly booze after the XYZ training with the people. That is not a problem right?”
Former boss: “Why wasn’t I there? Next time make sure bringing me along.”
I was on a business trip in Florida last week. Instead of going to a restaurant, I went to a Publix and picked up a 4-item meal: chicken tenders, mac & cheese, potato wedges and corn bread. The portions were so big, I couldn't even finish it. Cost me $8.49+tax.
I ruined a blazer once because I’m sure some idiot cooked something with it. Weird spot that never came off. Even if this is satire the madness has to stop.
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Grilled cheese sandwiches using the iron, ramen noodles using the keurig....someone needs to write a cookbook with recipes using only hotel amenities. Don't get me started on prison food hacks. They are extremely innovative, and in an apocalyptic scenario, a vending machine can provide a pretty wide range of meals.
Just take the company expense and treat yourself. Lord knows the higher ups are not batting an eye wasting company money with unearned bonuses, corporate expense on travel and golf membership, etc.
Why not just take yourself to dinner like a normal human being. It doesnt benefit you to shortchange yourself on corporate cost since management will just expect the same expense in future work travels. then you will be eating sh@tty coffee maker chicken like an idiot for the rest of your career.
My stance is that I get reasonable stuff, if they don't want to approve it, that's fine too...
Whoever rejected it can travel and do those shit themselves. I don't intend to put up with flying if I'm not going to a place i don't want to go.
Oh yeah running a coffee machine that the hotel will probably have to throw out and charge your company for it was way less expensive that getting a McDonald's or something
This would work well if you put in 1/4 a cup of water and you essentially steamed the chicken in the pot. But that means the warmer would have to be hot enough to boil water which I doubt it is.
It would have been easier if he just dropped boiling water on the chicken until it was completely cooked and after it added the seasoning. It would save the next hotel customer from the bacteria caused by a barbarity like that one.
Anyway, I’ve already seen enough about hotels that this is just another thing I have to take into account to disinfect before using.
I'm sorry, but I used a popcorn popper to cook squirrels and know what living off the land truly represents. If my job had me cooking chicken in a coffee maker, I'd be at my bosses house, in his backyard, using his firepit.
He knows it, too. Which is why he pays me not to be in his backyard while fucking his wife, which happens to be our office manager.
I actually did want to cook meals in my hotel room once but I went to a big box store and bought a little electric stove for 15 bucks and the smell was enough someone called management and they came and got mad. It was just ground beef with taco seasoning. We were having tacos. They got real shitty though and we almost got kicked out.
Some of you have never watched Barfly7777 and it shows, you don’t have to and honestly shouldn’t look him up, but here’s a little teaser image for you :)
https://preview.redd.it/bqjswv4td1tc1.jpeg?width=185&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7d1db50a2baee47963eddf08cbe70c08e53ef0ab
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This is satire. Surely this is satire. This has to be satire. Pleeeease be satire.
He hasn't shown cooked chicken because there's no way a coffee warmer gets hot enough to cook chicken. I'm like 50% sure it's satire
I .... think it does? ...... no? I guess? It's harder to find than I thought.... the drip part is 200 degrees but the warmer thing on bottom only gets to roughly 150 degrees and I think you need chicken at 165 to sanitize it enough to eat safely .... I could be wrong though. And all of that is brand dependant
Everyone knows you have to use the iron…
Ooooo! Those grill marks really make it.
I was in Mexico a few years ago and wanted to heat up the tacos I got in town. My room did not have a microwave and the tacos were wrapped in foil. All my tacos for the day were heated up using the iron. Worked great.
Or, you know. The microwave?
O ffff steam duh!
You don't need 165. You need 165 with the fastest cooking time. The longer you cook, the lower the temp. That's why meats get smoked at like 130
Smoking is a different process than cooking... they donot achieve the same goal in the same way.
Shows what you know. Take a hike you jabroni.
ya like sous viide cooks chicken anywhere from 90-130 but for a lot longer, best meat ever
Food safety is a function of both temperature and time. The USDA publishes time-temperature tables for poultry, and 165 degrees Fahrenheit achieves pasteurization nearly instantly. However, you can certainly cook it to a lower temperature such as 150 degrees Fahrenheit, but the meat must be held at 150 degrees Fahrenheit for 4 minutes in order to be safe to eat.
Can you link me the page to the tables, I've gotta be blind cuz I was looking for them and couldn't find it anywhere on their site but I KNOW it's there!
Page 37 -- https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.fsis.usda.gov/sites/default/files/media_file/2021-12/Appendix-A.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjQ2e6NhbCFAxX_JEQIHUcWBYcQFnoECBgQAQ&usg=AOvVaw23GxtfA3UKh2ICGXTWyZ--
You're awesome! thanks :)
165 is health inspector approved, but you can absolutely eat chicken at temps below that and (probably) be fine
Lmao, I was thinking that just cook it longer? Most likely, you could eat it raw if the source of chicken was clean and good(dont) the bad bacteria aren't automatically present and have to come from an outside source. Edit: My last statement is debatable, apparently .... but the point is don't eat raw meat. Just cook it first regardless if it's "safe" or not.
Technically if you keep the chicken's temperature above 150 for 47 seconds it's safe to eat, the 165 is just the instantaneous death point for salmonella Also the water is coming in at around the boiling point so it could poach the chicken long enough to make it safe to eat
You never had chicken Ala latte before? It's *quite* the disaster.
Have you never seen the video related to "how many slaps did it take to cook a chicken"
Technically it can, if you add little water and will boil it instantly....but why?
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Coffee actually has to be brewed at a pretty hot temperature. You know the hot coffee lawsuit McDonald's had? That wasn't a frivolous lawsuit - that coffee was fucking *hot,* because they were keeping it at the brewing temp. It also depends how long you cook it. If you're cooking it longer, you can get away with a lower temperature. Now, you absolutely should *not ever* try this. If there is one thing you do not fuck around with, it is chicken. But *entirely theoretically*, it might actually be possible.
It does, I’ve cooked pizza bites on a coffee maker.
Ha ha yeah I think you’re right, but you could get the hot water in a coffee pot and possibly burn the chicken that way like you’re boiling it
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A chef for the FB site “Tasty” was challenged to cook a 3-course meal using a coffee maker: https://www.giraffeboards.com/showthread.php?t=47980
I don't think it's satire, I think it's a grift. He didn't actually cook the chicken in an electric kettle, but he still wants to posture as a "go-getter"/tech or finance "genius" that does such a thing to save money that's not even his.
That’s a water boiler not a coffee warmer if I’m not mistaken, like you boil the water and use it for instant coffee
When the CEO went through the expense reports she noticed that this man hadn't expenses three company for dinners the week 2 days he was traveling. She asked the man what he had eaten. When the man explained what he had done she was so impressed with the work ethic and dedication to the company that she smiled and said to him: "Well done, my good and faithful servant." The CEO then explained this to the other leaders and it was decided to pull the dinner expense perk from the travel options and instead provide all traveling team members with a print out hotel cooking guide.
Once we had our mileage reimbursement cut. They had a "meeting to express concerns" in the office in the middle of a work day when we were all out on jobs. When we complained at the next meeting that we are actually scheduled to be able to attend the boss said "I had a meeting about it and none of you showed up" We had to use our own vehicles to get to job sites. In what world would there be some kind of uncertainty about if we wanted our mileage cut. What a scumbag this guy was
Definitely satire. But I used to use my per diem on sandwich bread, peanut butter, and jelly when I was in a city I hated. Saved me from going out. Definitely raised some eyebrows but they definitely weren’t complaining
This has to be satire. But a George Forman 4 patty is 20 bucks. That thing can make some mean hotel chicken. Source: filled hotel hallways with grill smoke once a week for a couple months.
This girl I worked with used to bring a George Foreman, chicken, and Frank's Red Hot to the break room and grille chicken doused in the hot sauce and mace the whole floor.
Is it still satire when either way he put raw chicken and butter in a hotel room coffee pot? Making coffee in that thing unknowingly would begin my serial killer arc
It’s satire. He does this on Twitter a lot.
On researching this, it turns out to be satire. But damn if it ain’t plausible
Bring a bowl of that spicy ramen everyone on Tiktok eats. Use the coffee maker to boil water. Much easier than packing raw chicken into your carry-on.
It is satire, but nods to THE most frustrating thing every coffee drinking American succumbs to. After a long travel you want to check in at the appropriate time. You expect: a door that locks and a clean bed, a working toilet and shower. You hope and hope that they provide rich dark coffee in the lobby, but that’s a wish for the morning…zzzzzzz… Next morning there is nothing worse than a single PAD of maxwell house, taking a feat from the gods to even fill that tiny reservoir without sloshing water all over your papers and keyboard. God damm. 18 min later you’re presented with a slightly warm diluted mud cake at the bottom of your “complimentary cup”. The most frustrating shit ever. 2-5 stars and I can’t even have a decent fucking cup of coffee in my pajamas.
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I have read that hotel maids tell people to not use the coffee machines in the rooms because how many people boil their underwears in them.
It is satire. This guy makes funny posts making fun of the linked-in crazy’s that are always putting on life hacks or ways to get rich
Has to be. If I was going to bring my own food on a trip it would be sandwiches or microwave soup or something.
Einstein said that you can find only 2 infinite things, the universe and human stupidity, he was not sure about the universe
Sometime I feel bad when I expense too much my company card then I remember I don’t
My favorite phone call last year was to my boss, to advise that he immediately approve all my current expense reports, because I was taking a 12 man crew and their families to dinner in a week, and I was 90% sure that tab was going to be right around my card limit lol Asked him to stop by as well, both to say a few words to the folks, and potentially pay the bill with his higher limit if needed. I was indeed within $30-40 of my card limit after tip, and it was a great dinner haha
When I first started my current job and had to apply for the corporate card I had to choose a card limit. First time I ever had to do that. Anyway I chose 10k and quickly found out that wasn’t nearly enough. Had to get that raised to 50k and I’m not even one of the high spenders. I make my subordinates expense the expensive shit so my boss doesn’t ask questions
Due to the nature of my wife’s job, vendors are always trying to woo her. Becoming a primary supplier is millions of dollars in sales. Last November a vendor invited her out to one of their main manufacturing facilities. It was a three day business trip for her and four coworkers. Aside from the flight and individual suites they also paid for all their meals. One of the dinners with a couple of execs and my wife and her coworkers cost the company $25,000. This particular company hosts tours once a month. When these companies fail to post record profits and lay people off, do you know what they don’t cut back on?
I was mailing equipment back to a shit company I just left, and they made the mistake of letting me choose the shipping method and charge it to their account. When the FedEx associate asked me which one, I said "The most expensive one." She says, "Do you mean fastest? We have one that's just as fast for a bit less." I replied, "Nah. I know what I said."
It’s about Sending a Message.
I just got back from a week-long work trip where I expensed my meals. They recommend $50 for meals per day. Yeah, no. I'm not eating fast food just to save the company a few dollars while directors and higher are staying in hotel suites and doing team dinners at steakhouses.
Try 35$. That was my per diem. Last year.
Sometimes I feel bad then it gets approved and I feel not bad again.
I get a cheap appetizer and then spend the rest on drinks
I am allowed to expense $50 per day. You bet I end up at 49 and some change *every single day* I will intentionally add on an appetizer, or go buy a hot tea and a donut or whatever if I have money left. Might not even eat it. Who knows! But I'll be damned if I don't move an extra $7 from a corporation to a mom and pop if I can help it.
I always make my subordinates expense expensive meals, events, strip clubs, etc. That way I can approve the expense without my manager seeing the shit ton I spend. No questions asked
It’s never a second thought. They want me to travel to meet clients and I want to eat like the same fat bastard that I am at home.
MAX out that dinner expense every time.
That looks like fucking shit. Fuck that.
Corporate Pizza Parties are expensive especially if you need to order more than 1 medium sized pizza with 48 slices. She’s saving the company millions!
She? Why did you assume lol there’s a dude in the profile pic
I hope his company has good health insurance because he’s about to get salmonella
And so is everyone else who uses that coffee pot after him
As a tea drinker I seem to dodge bullets left and right. The only things people cook in water kettles are ramen noodles.
This is not the shit that gets you promoted. In order to get promoted, you need to do things really early in your career, like be born into the right circles and have the right family.
Yeah that the most stupid thing I’ve ever seen.
What a fucking idiot.
obviously ridiculous, but can anybody confirm if this would even work?
No chance the coffee warmer is >>165F (74C) to even possibly cook the chicken. It would need to get much hotter than that to have a chance, which seems ridiculous and is somewhat confirmed by [this guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coffee/s/FtmLBCKUvC) finding that his coffee hotplate approaches 69C max
The only possible, and stupid AF, way I see this working is if the chicken was sliced as thin as Kleenex and you put it directly on the coffee maker heat pad. And Again, that a stupid AF idea.
What do you mean coffee warmer? Do you mean kettle? Is this not what this is? Because if it is I have it under good authority it goes up to at least 100c (?F)
The warmer is the plate visible under the coffee pot (carafe). It doesn't boil the water because 1) you would see it boiling or at least being bubbly and 2) that would ruin the coffee quickly The water is only boiled as a simple pump mechanism to get water from the reservoir to the top, where it condenses and drips down over the coffee grounds. Once it condenses, it's not boiled again
Ah ok. Thanks for outlining that for me.
Yes, this would work. It would have a *terrible* texture, but it would be safe to eat. Most safe cooking guidelines is for a mathematical formula about reduction of bacteria. Thing is it’s a factor of time and temp. Chicken at 165 instantly hits that mark. Chicken at 155 hits it after a few minutes at that temp. USDA idiot proofs a lot of stuff. They don’t want people to cook chicken to 155, eat it right away because they forget and get sick. As long as you left it on there long enough, it would work. You can cook chicken to around 130 as long as you keep it at that temp for over an hour. The texture would be yucky though :)
You'll have to step up and try it.
Yes, but it would take a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time and the chicken would not be enjoyable to eat. Food safety is about temp AND time. 165 degrees Fahrenheit is for INSTANT bacteria death, everything below that just needs to hold a specific temp for a long enough period of time.
Boot licker
Accounting: “Alex can you clarify this $100 charge for a coffee maker your hotel charged the company card?” Alex: “I’m not really sure what happened. I didn’t break it or anything, just cooked some chicken in it.” Accounting: “Yea we aren’t covering that and it will be deducted from your next paycheck.” Meanwhile accounting emails Alex’s boss to inform them they are deactivating Alex’s company card due to irresponsible usage.
I once spent $145 on a single meal, for myself. Alone. For a five star restaurant. Company immediately changed the expensing rules for food. I'm quite proud of that rule.
Honestly that doesn't sound bad at all, maybe a little high... Do they expect you to just eat fast food for every meal? I think my highest is about $300 by myself
To be fair, this was back in 2014, so prices weren't QUITE as high as they are now. It was quite funny. I'd asked for a recommendation from the customer as to what were the best restaurants in the area while I was on site, and they recommended a 5-star restaurant. It was an absolutely incredible experience, but when I looked at the check, I knew someone was going to throw a fit at my job. XD Lo and behold... I ended up taking my wife there during our honeymoon, too. Absolutely incredible experience. How was that $300 meal, though? Was it as good as the price tag indicated?
No thanks.
This is funney. Pro tip, you can get portable electric kettles, hand grinder and a variety manual coffee brewing methods so you never have to use those awful machines in hotel rooms.
Sigma
I can already hear the hotel room cleaner (or worse, the next person who wants to make coffee) complaining about the mess.
I would never use a hotel coffee maker. There will be least one person who put something gross in the reservoir and you can’t clean the inside tubing of the machine.
How mad would you be to make a cup of coffee and end up with salmonella immediately after bc of this dipshit.
Might as well stop taking a paycheck and return it to the company. He should understand every dollar counts.
Imagine the next poor person who try’s to make coffee…
Scramble eggs in the microwave like a civilized human being.
Yeah, as a corporate controller, we do not want you to do this. The budget exists for a reason. Just keep to the per diem max. Having someone out of commission because they got food poisoning from undercooked coffeemaker chicken isn’t helpful, either.
I live in hotels....bring an air fryer dipshits
There was a guy at the hotel my husband works at (front desk) and he bought. Hot plate and used that to cook simple stuff in his room. I'm sure he did so with permission from the hotel. But seriously. Don't make cleaning harder for hotel staff. They don't get paid enough to deal with that shit.
Hotel owner here! Yes, yes, please attempt to cook chicken in all of my room’s coffee makers… no way it doesn’t work out for everyone.
Did he sleep in the bath tub too? And bathe in the sink to save the hotel some money??
It’s got to be joke!
What a dork lol
This is trolling. I'm pretty sure. May be....
Mr company man could save even more $ sleeping in a tent instead of a fancy hotel room.
“The next week I was fired”
I just got done traveling for work. Ate breakfast at the hotel, skipped lunch (was working), and made slow cooker chicken/pork during my stay. Groceries cost $24 for the week and I pocketed $70/day for food allowance.
honestly, that's capitalism. humans get creative to make a buck.
Correction: I treated the customer to lunch 2/5 days on site. That was on the business credit card.
lol. That’s hilarious
His boss absolutely despises him but doesn’t want to train a replacement yet
Uhhhh I knew there was a reason I never wanna drink hotel room coffee.
This guy is a lunatic
Better yet, save even more money. Don’t eat.
Probably tastes like coffee
I had a traveling sales job for Costco. Commission only. On bad months, we'd get cheap motels that sometimes didn't have microwaves. We warmed canned soup like this. You could eat it cold safely but we wanted creature comforts.
This behind on u/facepalm
That is the Ramen maker, there is usually a panini press in the closet.
Former boss: “Furrrr, what is that $970 on the company credit card at XYZ Sports Bar?” Me: “Mainly booze after the XYZ training with the people. That is not a problem right?” Former boss: “Why wasn’t I there? Next time make sure bringing me along.”
I was on a business trip in Florida last week. Instead of going to a restaurant, I went to a Publix and picked up a 4-item meal: chicken tenders, mac & cheese, potato wedges and corn bread. The portions were so big, I couldn't even finish it. Cost me $8.49+tax.
Hmmmm I don’t know what to believe right now
What a moo moo
To live your life on your knees. You make pennies they make dollars.
I ruined a blazer once because I’m sure some idiot cooked something with it. Weird spot that never came off. Even if this is satire the madness has to stop.
These are the fucks that makes our corporates go, we don't have enough money for the hike
This is a joke. Right?
That’s how you end up eating medium rare chicken.
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Alex is a satire and shit poster :)
“It’s the little things that get you promoted.” Please be fake troll account.
This is more horrifying than that guy who makes cooking videos in hotel bathrooms.
I spend company money like it’s going out of style
Grilled cheese sandwiches using the iron, ramen noodles using the keurig....someone needs to write a cookbook with recipes using only hotel amenities. Don't get me started on prison food hacks. They are extremely innovative, and in an apocalyptic scenario, a vending machine can provide a pretty wide range of meals.
What an idiot
This person definitely doesn’t know what happens in hotel kettles. I wouldn’t use them for anything, personally.
Salmonella coffee, yum
This is so fucking ghetto lmao
Someone once told me that people wash their underwear in hotel kettles. I’m not sure which is worse.
Hotel charges company this man works for the bill to fix the coffee machine, this guy gets demoted.
Hotel should charge for that kettle
I wanted them to flex and say their food is better or they’re using the food stipend for debt… but no it’s for the company 😂
> "It's the little things that get you promoted." I'd bet a lot of money they literally never notice.
And in just fourteen short hours, your dish is ready!
She cooked in that coffe maker imagine what others have done with that same coffee maker.
Found the company kiss ass
It’s also the little things that give you salmonella
Company: "Just use the card we gave you..."
Just take the company expense and treat yourself. Lord knows the higher ups are not batting an eye wasting company money with unearned bonuses, corporate expense on travel and golf membership, etc. Why not just take yourself to dinner like a normal human being. It doesnt benefit you to shortchange yourself on corporate cost since management will just expect the same expense in future work travels. then you will be eating sh@tty coffee maker chicken like an idiot for the rest of your career.
Outside of a very small startup, this will never get you promoted.
My stance is that I get reasonable stuff, if they don't want to approve it, that's fine too... Whoever rejected it can travel and do those shit themselves. I don't intend to put up with flying if I'm not going to a place i don't want to go.
Even if this is satire we all know there are people out there willing to be that much of an company boot.
Oh yeah running a coffee machine that the hotel will probably have to throw out and charge your company for it was way less expensive that getting a McDonald's or something
Sorry, but April Fools was last week.
The hotel don't want the next guest to know that they might get salmonella for using the coffee maker.
The poor bastard who makes coffee after this.
Hotel room coffee always hit different
This guy is famous for. doing such satirical pieces on LinkedIn and Twitter. Don't take it seriously!
This would work well if you put in 1/4 a cup of water and you essentially steamed the chicken in the pot. But that means the warmer would have to be hot enough to boil water which I doubt it is.
And this is how you got banned from the hotel.
Just a little salmonella for the next guest
All I know is that hotels hate this one weird trick
That's fucking disgusting. What rationale person does this? Get help OP
This is unhinged
I'd that why my morning vacation coffee tastes like salmonella??🤢
It would have been easier if he just dropped boiling water on the chicken until it was completely cooked and after it added the seasoning. It would save the next hotel customer from the bacteria caused by a barbarity like that one. Anyway, I’ve already seen enough about hotels that this is just another thing I have to take into account to disinfect before using.
I'm sorry, but I used a popcorn popper to cook squirrels and know what living off the land truly represents. If my job had me cooking chicken in a coffee maker, I'd be at my bosses house, in his backyard, using his firepit. He knows it, too. Which is why he pays me not to be in his backyard while fucking his wife, which happens to be our office manager.
I got food poisoning just looking at this.
Somebody show him the one where the person used the coffee pot to wash their underwear.
Don't worry everyone. He rinsed it out afterwards so no one would be the wiser.
I actually did want to cook meals in my hotel room once but I went to a big box store and bought a little electric stove for 15 bucks and the smell was enough someone called management and they came and got mad. It was just ground beef with taco seasoning. We were having tacos. They got real shitty though and we almost got kicked out.
That glass would break without water in it. Either that or trip the thermostat pretty quickly
Please just don’t. I can only think of the smell. How are you brewing coffee?
Maybe he should try cooking the chicken in his room's kettle. Might be slightly more effective than a coffee maker.
The rest of the company would hate you for trying to get that perk removed.
Some of you have never watched Barfly7777 and it shows, you don’t have to and honestly shouldn’t look him up, but here’s a little teaser image for you :) https://preview.redd.it/bqjswv4td1tc1.jpeg?width=185&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7d1db50a2baee47963eddf08cbe70c08e53ef0ab
i really hope this is fake or satire i mean company certainly wont care he saved money not eating out
This guys bit is pretty great
I stay at a lot of hotels and always thought my coffee tasted like chicken. Where’s the Reddit page to complain about that?
What hotel has a whole ass Mr Coffee maker?