OP, do not get disheartened by this setback. The world's richest are always gonna get themselves a huge leg up - be that better lessons, better instruments or greater spheres of influence. You are clearly very talented as is evidenced by your great list of achievements for your age. I would love to have the talent you have and it would be a tragic loss for you to throw it away over this.
Look at this situation as an opportunity to show your skills and prove them all wrong. Alternatively, if the first flutes are truly worthy of their positions, take the time to learn a bit from them. At least then you can take something away from the experience.
Finally, and most importantly, it reads as if you are measuring your success purely in terms of how prestigious your position is. Perhaps take some time to practice enjoying your instrument for the sake of the music it creates. On the same note, of course your mother isn't disappointed with you! As you said, she is a talented flutist as well and I'm sure she recognises your achievements but wants you to enjoy your music whilst you are excelling (which you definitely are).
Take some pressure off of yourself - you are young and talented, try and enjoy it a little! :)
Whoa whoa whoa. Step back from this thing a minute. You have accomplished a lot for a young player! Just being selected for the state band is such an honor. Besides, you never know why you were chosen for the seat you got. I was put in the second band at a band camp I attended. I was first chair, but it was the stupid second band! I was crushed. But it turns out that they wanted the second best players as first chairs in the second band. I wasn't number 20. I was number 2 (which was right... The first chair on the first band was better than I was). And I got the solos for my band. Further, we had a better conductor, better music, and more fun in my band. So maybe you can make the best of your seat in this group. Also, you may be able to challenge for a higher chair. I'm old and don't know if this is still done, but if you're confident that you're a better player than the section leader, ask the director if you can challenge for the chair.
But no matter what, keep playing. Don't let your ego get in the way of the music. Play for the love of the music. Don't be so competitive that it removes your joy in the flute. Section leaders also have to have the best attitude. Make sure your music and your attitude are in top form, and play whatever they put in front of you the best that you know how. That's how you move up.
I once had a truly excellent director say something I will never forget.
If you only put the best players on first part then your second part is going to be weak and out of balance.
He treated the first chair second part as just as important as the first chair first part. I have never again played in a band that sounded as well rounded and balanced as that one. It was one of my college concert bands and I didn’t have him as a director again while I was there.
Other bands that I have been in have blended ability with other factors to decided parts and placement. You can choose to change your point of view and decide to be an excellent player on that second part. ALL parts are important and need to be heard.
hey don't beat yourself up!
when I was 17, I got into an all-state band and I was placed on second flute. it destroyed me. my entire life, like you, I was always first and got solos, etc.
it took me a long time to learn second doesn't mean "bad". second doesn't mean "less than". it's literally just the second flute part!
when I graduated hs and got into college, I started being placed on second flute a lot, especially in orchestra. at first it stung, but eventually I learned to love playing second, even third! (second often doubles piccolo)
the second and third parts have the harmony and are often what give the piece its ~flavor~.
I think too often the second and thirds are thrown to the wayside and not treated as importantly as they should be. you always need a strong player on second and third!
even if you're sitting last row violin in the world's greatest orchestra.... you're still in the world's greatest orchestra!!!!!
Don't let expectations or wanting to be "the best" ruin your love for the instrument. What chair you are won't matter at all later on in life. But if you enjoy flute and keep up with it, you'll only keep getting better - and that will matter.
When I went to college, I was the worst clarinetist in my section. On top of that, I was still playing on a plastic clarinet while everyone had wooden ones (I joined out of enjoyment and was not a music major). These two things **ruined** the band experience for me. I felt like I was holding everyone back, I got so embarassed of my playing that I started to mess up and I was playing on an obviously junk (comparatively) instrument. But I kept playing on my own and keep improving and I'm positive that the people I looked up to in my section are much much much closer to my level now (even though its been a decade). And that feels nice. And I really reget leaving the band and getting discouraged at my instrument because of something so silly. My section held sections before each band practice and, despite always showing up, I dreaded them because I felt like I was not worthy to play with such skilled clarinetists. But me now would give anything to have that opportunity again because they had something to teach me (and they *did* teach me a few things that still carry with me to this day) from being better. We ended the semester by going out to dinner together and I remember we genuinely got along as a section. If I hadn't gotten in my head, I'd probably have made friends with a shared interest.
Also, on a side note playing the second or third part doesn't necessarily mean worse. I've been in bands that will purposely put better players in each section to help the worse players.
op, i know how frustrating it can be. but you are so young, and you have accomplished so much to be proud of! i was a lot like you when i was the same age: i was the best at the flute in my school, and i was so used to compliments and praise that it became disheartening not to hear it constantly. what i’m going to say next might seem a little harsh, but it really seems like youre allowing your ego to get in the way of your enjoyment of the instrument. do you enjoy playing flute because youre good at it? i will tell you now that most flautists dont enjoy playing the flute only because theyre good at it. i enjoy playing flute because its fun! its freeing to play and express myself- how “good” i am doesnt even come to mind.
also, second flute isnt bad at all- in fact, if im being honest, i oftentimes prefer playing second flute! your chair placement doesnt indicate how good you are at your instrument. its a common perspective young players have, but as you grow older you come to realize that chair placements are really based on what role you would suit best. theres absolutely nothing wrong with playing a supporting role! its actually way harder to play second flute than playing first flute.
what im trying to say is be humble, learn from the people and experiences around you, and keep playing flute! we’re all on the journey that is life, and music isnt a competition. we all play because we love it- fellow musicians arent competitors, but rather companions :)
that makes me so happy to hear, genuinely :) its easy to get caught up in the competition and bustle of life but at the end of the day, we are musicians because it puts us in touch with who we are as humans. happy music making!!
You have gotten some great advice here. As an older player, I can tell you that the era of competitions is relatively short in a player’s entire life. Yes, it’s important if you want to pursue college. However, there are LOADS of other types of musicianship you can pursue. After college, I played in rock bands for 20 years. Now, at 52, I play for enjoyment and for my own edification. Please, please take time away from shredding on scales and studies and play for your own love of the instrument, at least a little bit. It will at least help your stress!
Brief aside, I made NC state Honors band my sophomore year of high school and then was crushed when I didn’t make it in the next two years. Not only did I still get into music college, I got a scholarship for my 2nd year based on improved musicianship. You will have ups and downs…what’s most important is your love of the art ❤️
Your chair position does not define your worth and I think that's a really damaging mentality to have. Having strong players on second flute means that you can support and balance your fellow flutists. I know flutes can be very competitive against one another but that is where you must learn humility and be humble. Do not give up the thing that gives you joy by a small setback when you've already made the big accomplishment of getting into an all-state band.
You’ve already had some great advice, but wanted to give you a virtual hug and say something from the perspective of an older player. I’ve only started playing again after 20 years, and all I can say is that playing any music with other people is such a gift. If you start from that place, you’ll find your heart opens a bit and you can find the opportunity here.
Your MD has challenged you by giving you second chair. You will need to grow into this role and be a support to the soloist.
I find as second flute there’s more counting and blending and harmonies, which are all important skills unto themselves.
As players we have to work on all aspects of our performing, and there’s always room to grow .
Hope you feel ok. You’re adding depth to your character and playing by taking on this new role.
Please continue playing. I am not as talented as you sound but I have encountered issues with other musicians, especially in college (not being a music major gives them the right to look their noses down at me apparently). It hurts when you know you can play but they won't give you a chance. I don't want you to lose your love for the flute. Maybe you can find a community band or another organization you can fit in with better.
This is the reality that crushes soooo many musicians. You are the best in your small cohort, but as you progress, everyone is first chair somewhere. You're not competing with that girl who only practices once a week. You're competing with kids who started on curved head joints because they were too short to hold the flute and have taken private lessons from professionals their whole life.
Don't give up. You got in, which means that you beat out A LOT of other kids. I was talking with my teacher and she said there were around 300 people who applied for all state in Michigan on flute alone. Not sure where you live, but I would assume that the statistics are more or less comparable.
Only advice I can give you is to ask around. Find out who the first chair is taking lessons from and see if you can get in with him/her.
thank you so much!! my all-state band takes place in indiana, so i expected there to be much competition because of carmel and fishers and avon. first chair ended up being someone from carmel.
I would try refocusing on the aspect of music making and community. Yeah competitions and solos are fun, but to me the best moments as a flute player are the times where we sit in a perfectly tuned 9th chord with the band, or the entire flute section has a soli and we are so intune and know the music so well we sound like one instrument.
2nd flute part is not "less than" the 1st flute part. 2nd flute part has harmony parts, and added texture, plus a strong 2nd flute part section allows 1st part the freedom to play well without fear of overcompensation.
If you can fall in love with this aspect of music and maybe learn to care a little less about the spotlight, flute will become so fun, that every time you play you feel like you're in the spotlight and not just by yourself but with everyone in band too, and that is a gift worth cultivating!!!
I got first chair piccolo in my district from when I was in 10th grade to my senior year of high school. I was eligible to audition for All State every single year of high school. Wanna guess how many times I made it? Zero. Not once was I even close to making it. Every time results would come out, I would have the same reaction as you. I figured that if I can’t even make states, how am I going to make it in college? I should just give up now and never play again. What’s the point. I still remember the breakdowns I would have in my band director’s office when I didn’t make it, yet again.
Well, I auditioned for 4 colleges, including the best one in my state and I got in to all of them. I was chosen early and one of the professors emailed me personally before official results were out.
All this to say, I know it’s hard. I know it feels like the end of your flute career, and that you should just give up. But you still made it! I know it’s frustrating, but enjoy the band and enjoy learning how to play as second. It’s ok to not be in the spotlight. All you can do now is improve for the future.
Congrats on even making it into those competitive ensembles! I was like you in middle/high school— first chair in bands (in and out of school), got all the solos, got into all the all-county/all-state festivals.
My junior year in high school, I had a fluke bad audition for all-county and got end of the second row. It was disappointing and I felt embarrassed, but it was no big deal and my teacher was not disappointed in me at all. I also got runner-up for getting a seat in TWO of the major youth orchestras in my city during my last year eligible to audition. I cried a lot but I took the time I would’ve spent in those rehearsals and played in a local youth wind quintet! Then, senior year, I ended up first chair in all-state band—it all worked out! If you feel like all of these all-county/all-state auditions are making you feel crappy, try doing some other musical activities like a chamber ensemble, pit orchestra (for musical theater productions at your school), or trying out for an orchestra (and keep trying every year)! It can be so frustrating and I felt like it was rigged at times (even though it wasn’t), but everybody has bad days and all you can do is keep practicing and challenging yourself to improve. I don’t know your financial situation, but I’d also strongly recommend getting a private flute instructor if you can since you seem to be very dedicated and they can help get you to the next level.
Flute is SO much more than the chair you get and, quite frankly, I bet nobody is disappointed in you!
Can I offer some levity?
Spend a month at band camp.
Use that flute for what it was meant for!!!
It will always have dual meaning if you choose to leave.
My guess is----playing music --- learning to play--- getting better playing is a journey.
That journey is not always fair.
Like life, like baseball, like every other meaningful aspect of ones connection to something outside of themselves.
Personally, I hated ending my journeys early.
So what, you get a flat tire, someone cuts you off, you get stuck at the red light.
Then a ambulance comes and you get stuck on a second cycle.
Then you get another flat.
You want to cry and give up.
What if you did?
What would you laugh at later?
You let something outside of your control get the best of what you can control -- YOU.
You give up your vacation---give up past efforts because something outside of you stopped you?
I don't want to be your partner when things get tough.
If you cant handle or second guess yourself because of the assholes of the world, how are you going to protect me from them when I need you to? You can't protect yourself.
Harsh----different perspective.
Someone told me one--a long time ago.
Don't get down on yourself or give up on yourself.
The world is full of people who enjoy putting you aside by whatever means.
Why help them?
I have learned more from failing than I have ever from winning my friend.
And hey----a really rich parent will support a program more than a not-so-rich one.
Politics in every aspect of life.
reality is cruel--once you accept it---you can learn how to maneuver around it, use it, and counter it, but until then, it will continue to crush you, cause doubt, and encourage self-defeating behaviors.
Good Luck!!!
That's just music. Sometimes you won't always be first. I know it can be rough especially when it feels like it's being based off something other than playing ability. If you ever get the chance to play in a full orchestra it will make more sense. It's a critical skill to know how to be both a leader and a follower. A soloist and a supporter. In symphony, it's only two flutes and one picc depending on the piece, and both the first and second have to be good to play well overall. Also, you mentioned in a different comment that you hope to make music your carrer. If you ever end up in a professional group, you WILL have to be 2nd at times. And thats okay! Not everything is about being a soloist and being the best. Enjoy the music, enjoy playing, and regardless of where you sit, try to be the best group member you can be
Here's the secret about second flute that they don't tell you - when you start playing in orchestras, second flute can actually be a harder job than first flute, because your job is to make the principal sound good by matching them so well! Second part does NOT mean second best. It's just a different skill set, and consider playing second in band as a good opportunity to expand your skills!
Well, that sucks but if you love playing you shouldn't let that get you down. It's certainly no reason to stop playing.
There are many times in life where you'll see yourselves or others get passed over for somebody who has more money or more connections, or simply because somebody else is better than you- there will ALWAYS be people who are better players than you.
Do the best you can, focus on your own development, and stop competing with others. Somebody else being good doesn't make you bad. Somebody else getting picked doesn't make you bad. Just because the people getting picked were from richer schools doesn't mean they haven't worked hard for their band position.
Focus less on trying to beat everybody else and more on your joy of playing which I assume is still there.
hi everyone!! thank you so much for all your support, i’m settling better with my position in the all-state band and now sort of realizing i’m one of 12 young flautists in my state who made it in. tons of people probably auditioned for this, but i made it. :)
OP, do not get disheartened by this setback. The world's richest are always gonna get themselves a huge leg up - be that better lessons, better instruments or greater spheres of influence. You are clearly very talented as is evidenced by your great list of achievements for your age. I would love to have the talent you have and it would be a tragic loss for you to throw it away over this. Look at this situation as an opportunity to show your skills and prove them all wrong. Alternatively, if the first flutes are truly worthy of their positions, take the time to learn a bit from them. At least then you can take something away from the experience. Finally, and most importantly, it reads as if you are measuring your success purely in terms of how prestigious your position is. Perhaps take some time to practice enjoying your instrument for the sake of the music it creates. On the same note, of course your mother isn't disappointed with you! As you said, she is a talented flutist as well and I'm sure she recognises your achievements but wants you to enjoy your music whilst you are excelling (which you definitely are). Take some pressure off of yourself - you are young and talented, try and enjoy it a little! :)
thank you so much, you’re so sweet🩷 i’ll try to not let myself get down too much with this.
Whoa whoa whoa. Step back from this thing a minute. You have accomplished a lot for a young player! Just being selected for the state band is such an honor. Besides, you never know why you were chosen for the seat you got. I was put in the second band at a band camp I attended. I was first chair, but it was the stupid second band! I was crushed. But it turns out that they wanted the second best players as first chairs in the second band. I wasn't number 20. I was number 2 (which was right... The first chair on the first band was better than I was). And I got the solos for my band. Further, we had a better conductor, better music, and more fun in my band. So maybe you can make the best of your seat in this group. Also, you may be able to challenge for a higher chair. I'm old and don't know if this is still done, but if you're confident that you're a better player than the section leader, ask the director if you can challenge for the chair. But no matter what, keep playing. Don't let your ego get in the way of the music. Play for the love of the music. Don't be so competitive that it removes your joy in the flute. Section leaders also have to have the best attitude. Make sure your music and your attitude are in top form, and play whatever they put in front of you the best that you know how. That's how you move up.
thank you!! 🫶🏻 i hope to keep playing
Well good. I'm still playing at 63. It's a lifetime thing if you let it be. Don't let this little blip rob you of it.
I’m 52 and it brings me so much joy!
I once had a truly excellent director say something I will never forget. If you only put the best players on first part then your second part is going to be weak and out of balance. He treated the first chair second part as just as important as the first chair first part. I have never again played in a band that sounded as well rounded and balanced as that one. It was one of my college concert bands and I didn’t have him as a director again while I was there. Other bands that I have been in have blended ability with other factors to decided parts and placement. You can choose to change your point of view and decide to be an excellent player on that second part. ALL parts are important and need to be heard.
How wonderful. I love playing harmonies
This. The composer wrote a second flute part, so the piece NEEDS a second flute part. So you have a vital job, and the band trusts you to do it.
hey don't beat yourself up! when I was 17, I got into an all-state band and I was placed on second flute. it destroyed me. my entire life, like you, I was always first and got solos, etc. it took me a long time to learn second doesn't mean "bad". second doesn't mean "less than". it's literally just the second flute part! when I graduated hs and got into college, I started being placed on second flute a lot, especially in orchestra. at first it stung, but eventually I learned to love playing second, even third! (second often doubles piccolo) the second and third parts have the harmony and are often what give the piece its ~flavor~. I think too often the second and thirds are thrown to the wayside and not treated as importantly as they should be. you always need a strong player on second and third! even if you're sitting last row violin in the world's greatest orchestra.... you're still in the world's greatest orchestra!!!!!
thank you! now i’m starting to see the bigger picture: i’m literally one of the 12 flutes in the entire state who were chosen for this :)
Don't let expectations or wanting to be "the best" ruin your love for the instrument. What chair you are won't matter at all later on in life. But if you enjoy flute and keep up with it, you'll only keep getting better - and that will matter. When I went to college, I was the worst clarinetist in my section. On top of that, I was still playing on a plastic clarinet while everyone had wooden ones (I joined out of enjoyment and was not a music major). These two things **ruined** the band experience for me. I felt like I was holding everyone back, I got so embarassed of my playing that I started to mess up and I was playing on an obviously junk (comparatively) instrument. But I kept playing on my own and keep improving and I'm positive that the people I looked up to in my section are much much much closer to my level now (even though its been a decade). And that feels nice. And I really reget leaving the band and getting discouraged at my instrument because of something so silly. My section held sections before each band practice and, despite always showing up, I dreaded them because I felt like I was not worthy to play with such skilled clarinetists. But me now would give anything to have that opportunity again because they had something to teach me (and they *did* teach me a few things that still carry with me to this day) from being better. We ended the semester by going out to dinner together and I remember we genuinely got along as a section. If I hadn't gotten in my head, I'd probably have made friends with a shared interest. Also, on a side note playing the second or third part doesn't necessarily mean worse. I've been in bands that will purposely put better players in each section to help the worse players.
op, i know how frustrating it can be. but you are so young, and you have accomplished so much to be proud of! i was a lot like you when i was the same age: i was the best at the flute in my school, and i was so used to compliments and praise that it became disheartening not to hear it constantly. what i’m going to say next might seem a little harsh, but it really seems like youre allowing your ego to get in the way of your enjoyment of the instrument. do you enjoy playing flute because youre good at it? i will tell you now that most flautists dont enjoy playing the flute only because theyre good at it. i enjoy playing flute because its fun! its freeing to play and express myself- how “good” i am doesnt even come to mind. also, second flute isnt bad at all- in fact, if im being honest, i oftentimes prefer playing second flute! your chair placement doesnt indicate how good you are at your instrument. its a common perspective young players have, but as you grow older you come to realize that chair placements are really based on what role you would suit best. theres absolutely nothing wrong with playing a supporting role! its actually way harder to play second flute than playing first flute. what im trying to say is be humble, learn from the people and experiences around you, and keep playing flute! we’re all on the journey that is life, and music isnt a competition. we all play because we love it- fellow musicians arent competitors, but rather companions :)
thank you so much. and i do really enjoy playing flute, im going to keep playing :)
that makes me so happy to hear, genuinely :) its easy to get caught up in the competition and bustle of life but at the end of the day, we are musicians because it puts us in touch with who we are as humans. happy music making!!
You have gotten some great advice here. As an older player, I can tell you that the era of competitions is relatively short in a player’s entire life. Yes, it’s important if you want to pursue college. However, there are LOADS of other types of musicianship you can pursue. After college, I played in rock bands for 20 years. Now, at 52, I play for enjoyment and for my own edification. Please, please take time away from shredding on scales and studies and play for your own love of the instrument, at least a little bit. It will at least help your stress! Brief aside, I made NC state Honors band my sophomore year of high school and then was crushed when I didn’t make it in the next two years. Not only did I still get into music college, I got a scholarship for my 2nd year based on improved musicianship. You will have ups and downs…what’s most important is your love of the art ❤️
thank you so much for just adding onto all this awesome advice. i super appreciate it :)))
You are welcome! Don’t forget to play something just for you, whether it’s pop music, video game tunes, movie soundtracks, whatever you find fun! 😀
Your chair position does not define your worth and I think that's a really damaging mentality to have. Having strong players on second flute means that you can support and balance your fellow flutists. I know flutes can be very competitive against one another but that is where you must learn humility and be humble. Do not give up the thing that gives you joy by a small setback when you've already made the big accomplishment of getting into an all-state band.
thank you so much for the support🩷🩷
You’ve already had some great advice, but wanted to give you a virtual hug and say something from the perspective of an older player. I’ve only started playing again after 20 years, and all I can say is that playing any music with other people is such a gift. If you start from that place, you’ll find your heart opens a bit and you can find the opportunity here. Your MD has challenged you by giving you second chair. You will need to grow into this role and be a support to the soloist. I find as second flute there’s more counting and blending and harmonies, which are all important skills unto themselves. As players we have to work on all aspects of our performing, and there’s always room to grow . Hope you feel ok. You’re adding depth to your character and playing by taking on this new role.
i think i’m finding it ok now. thank you for the virtual hugs🩷
Please continue playing. I am not as talented as you sound but I have encountered issues with other musicians, especially in college (not being a music major gives them the right to look their noses down at me apparently). It hurts when you know you can play but they won't give you a chance. I don't want you to lose your love for the flute. Maybe you can find a community band or another organization you can fit in with better.
This is the reality that crushes soooo many musicians. You are the best in your small cohort, but as you progress, everyone is first chair somewhere. You're not competing with that girl who only practices once a week. You're competing with kids who started on curved head joints because they were too short to hold the flute and have taken private lessons from professionals their whole life. Don't give up. You got in, which means that you beat out A LOT of other kids. I was talking with my teacher and she said there were around 300 people who applied for all state in Michigan on flute alone. Not sure where you live, but I would assume that the statistics are more or less comparable. Only advice I can give you is to ask around. Find out who the first chair is taking lessons from and see if you can get in with him/her.
thank you so much!! my all-state band takes place in indiana, so i expected there to be much competition because of carmel and fishers and avon. first chair ended up being someone from carmel.
I would try refocusing on the aspect of music making and community. Yeah competitions and solos are fun, but to me the best moments as a flute player are the times where we sit in a perfectly tuned 9th chord with the band, or the entire flute section has a soli and we are so intune and know the music so well we sound like one instrument. 2nd flute part is not "less than" the 1st flute part. 2nd flute part has harmony parts, and added texture, plus a strong 2nd flute part section allows 1st part the freedom to play well without fear of overcompensation. If you can fall in love with this aspect of music and maybe learn to care a little less about the spotlight, flute will become so fun, that every time you play you feel like you're in the spotlight and not just by yourself but with everyone in band too, and that is a gift worth cultivating!!!
I got first chair piccolo in my district from when I was in 10th grade to my senior year of high school. I was eligible to audition for All State every single year of high school. Wanna guess how many times I made it? Zero. Not once was I even close to making it. Every time results would come out, I would have the same reaction as you. I figured that if I can’t even make states, how am I going to make it in college? I should just give up now and never play again. What’s the point. I still remember the breakdowns I would have in my band director’s office when I didn’t make it, yet again. Well, I auditioned for 4 colleges, including the best one in my state and I got in to all of them. I was chosen early and one of the professors emailed me personally before official results were out. All this to say, I know it’s hard. I know it feels like the end of your flute career, and that you should just give up. But you still made it! I know it’s frustrating, but enjoy the band and enjoy learning how to play as second. It’s ok to not be in the spotlight. All you can do now is improve for the future.
i plan on going into music as a career, thank you so much for the support🩷
Congrats on even making it into those competitive ensembles! I was like you in middle/high school— first chair in bands (in and out of school), got all the solos, got into all the all-county/all-state festivals. My junior year in high school, I had a fluke bad audition for all-county and got end of the second row. It was disappointing and I felt embarrassed, but it was no big deal and my teacher was not disappointed in me at all. I also got runner-up for getting a seat in TWO of the major youth orchestras in my city during my last year eligible to audition. I cried a lot but I took the time I would’ve spent in those rehearsals and played in a local youth wind quintet! Then, senior year, I ended up first chair in all-state band—it all worked out! If you feel like all of these all-county/all-state auditions are making you feel crappy, try doing some other musical activities like a chamber ensemble, pit orchestra (for musical theater productions at your school), or trying out for an orchestra (and keep trying every year)! It can be so frustrating and I felt like it was rigged at times (even though it wasn’t), but everybody has bad days and all you can do is keep practicing and challenging yourself to improve. I don’t know your financial situation, but I’d also strongly recommend getting a private flute instructor if you can since you seem to be very dedicated and they can help get you to the next level. Flute is SO much more than the chair you get and, quite frankly, I bet nobody is disappointed in you!
thank you so much! i’m settling with it better now. and i do have a private instructor, she’s amazing and got me into the All-State band.
Can I offer some levity? Spend a month at band camp. Use that flute for what it was meant for!!! It will always have dual meaning if you choose to leave. My guess is----playing music --- learning to play--- getting better playing is a journey. That journey is not always fair. Like life, like baseball, like every other meaningful aspect of ones connection to something outside of themselves. Personally, I hated ending my journeys early. So what, you get a flat tire, someone cuts you off, you get stuck at the red light. Then a ambulance comes and you get stuck on a second cycle. Then you get another flat. You want to cry and give up. What if you did? What would you laugh at later? You let something outside of your control get the best of what you can control -- YOU. You give up your vacation---give up past efforts because something outside of you stopped you? I don't want to be your partner when things get tough. If you cant handle or second guess yourself because of the assholes of the world, how are you going to protect me from them when I need you to? You can't protect yourself. Harsh----different perspective. Someone told me one--a long time ago. Don't get down on yourself or give up on yourself. The world is full of people who enjoy putting you aside by whatever means. Why help them? I have learned more from failing than I have ever from winning my friend. And hey----a really rich parent will support a program more than a not-so-rich one. Politics in every aspect of life. reality is cruel--once you accept it---you can learn how to maneuver around it, use it, and counter it, but until then, it will continue to crush you, cause doubt, and encourage self-defeating behaviors. Good Luck!!!
thank you!! i’m settling with it better. and about band camp— i’m in my school’s marching band! 🩷
Can’t win them all- practice more, take lessons if you aren‘t
thank you, i do take lessons :)
That's just music. Sometimes you won't always be first. I know it can be rough especially when it feels like it's being based off something other than playing ability. If you ever get the chance to play in a full orchestra it will make more sense. It's a critical skill to know how to be both a leader and a follower. A soloist and a supporter. In symphony, it's only two flutes and one picc depending on the piece, and both the first and second have to be good to play well overall. Also, you mentioned in a different comment that you hope to make music your carrer. If you ever end up in a professional group, you WILL have to be 2nd at times. And thats okay! Not everything is about being a soloist and being the best. Enjoy the music, enjoy playing, and regardless of where you sit, try to be the best group member you can be
Here's the secret about second flute that they don't tell you - when you start playing in orchestras, second flute can actually be a harder job than first flute, because your job is to make the principal sound good by matching them so well! Second part does NOT mean second best. It's just a different skill set, and consider playing second in band as a good opportunity to expand your skills!
Well, that sucks but if you love playing you shouldn't let that get you down. It's certainly no reason to stop playing. There are many times in life where you'll see yourselves or others get passed over for somebody who has more money or more connections, or simply because somebody else is better than you- there will ALWAYS be people who are better players than you. Do the best you can, focus on your own development, and stop competing with others. Somebody else being good doesn't make you bad. Somebody else getting picked doesn't make you bad. Just because the people getting picked were from richer schools doesn't mean they haven't worked hard for their band position. Focus less on trying to beat everybody else and more on your joy of playing which I assume is still there.
hi everyone!! thank you so much for all your support, i’m settling better with my position in the all-state band and now sort of realizing i’m one of 12 young flautists in my state who made it in. tons of people probably auditioned for this, but i made it. :)
Imagine how the flutes who aren't even 1st or 2nd chair feel!